AUTHOR: Collie

EMAIL: fiendishthingee@aol.com

SUMMARY: Willow finds a way to reverse the effects to Spike's chip, but
things don't go quite as she planned.

RATING: Hard R.

FEEDBACK: It's what makes the world go 'round.

SPOILERS: general spoilers up and through season 5 of Buffy.

DISTRIBUTION: You Got the Stones? (http://ygts.cjb.net), and Through My Eyes
(http://thrumyeyes.cjb.net). Anyone else, just let me know.

DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to Joss. My sick mind is mine and mine
alone, damnit.

AUTHOR'S NOTES: This is an answer to Challenge #12 at You Got the Stones?
Character deaths await you. Bwahaha.

DEDICATION: To Gileswench. You rock.
 
 

    Willow slowly entered the crypt, tightly gripping a sheaf of papers. She
noticed her hand shaking and stilled it, lest she clutch the papers too hard
and wrinkle them up.

    'I can't believe I'm here,' she thought, 'I can't believe I'm telling the
evil vampire that wants to kill me and all of my friends that I found a way
to reverse the effects of the chip that makes it impossible for him to kill
us.'

    Willow stopped walking, blinked, and looked up, a proverbial neon sign
flashing the word 'Idiot' over her head. She made a face, placing the hand
that wasn't holding the papers on her hip.

    "Yeah. What the hell <i>am</i> I doing?"

    She rolled her eyes, turning on her heel, all set to stomp out of the
crypt and burn the those papers. Unfortunately, a tall, black-clad barrier
stood in her way. He was staring down at her, forehead crinkled in confusion,
a small brown paper sack in his hands. He raised an eyebrow, acknowledging
her.

    "Red."

    Her eyes grew wide. Even though she knew he couldn't hurt her,
subconsciously, she was still scared to death of him. He was still a vampire.
Still the vampire that tried to kill her friends. Still the vampire that
kidnapped her and shoved a broken bottle in her face. Still the vampire that
tried to attack and kill her in her own dorm room. Sure, sitting around with
him when the rest of the Scoobies were around was okay, because they were all
there. But alone like this, on his territory -- she still got extremely
flustered, all of her instincts telling her to run.

    "Oh! Um.. h-hi, Spike. I was just, uh.. that is.. I was just stopping by
to, um.. look, I didn't mean to be in here without asking. It's just, the
door was open, so I thought.. um.. Hi."

    He just nodded slowly, carefully sidestepping her and placing the sack on
the top of his television. He withdrew a pack of cigarettes, tapping them
against the palm of his hand a few times before opening the pack and
withdrawing a cigarette. He turned back, gesturing to the papers she held
with the cigarette before placing it between his lips.

    "Now, one more time, slowly.. what are you doing here, and, uh.. what's
all that mess?"

    He took a seat on the edge of the sarcophagus he used as a bed, slowly
smoking as he waited for her response. She cleared her throat, stalling.

    'It's now or never, Willow,'  she thought,  'You have to tell him. It's
the right thing to do, and you know it.'

    "Um.. well.. I was surfing the web last night, doing a little catch-up
research and backtracking on the Initiative, just for the files and such, you
know.. just in case we ever need to know certain things about them that we
didn't previously know--"

    She stopped as she saw him raise his hand, gesturing with a circular
motion for her to stop babbling and get to the point. She nodded, trying to
find the words, the little voice inside her head yelling at her to shut the
hell up and run, but her Willow-like sensibilities and general goodness
forcing her to stay and tell him. Goddess knows why.

    "Um.. I.. I.. foundawaytoreversetheeffectsofyourchip."

    She just blurt it out, all in one long breath. She glanced up at Spike,
who had paused in mid-drag, staring at her. His blue eyes trained on her face
for what seemed like days before he finally spoke.

    "Come again?"

    Willow ducked her head, sighing.

    "I was searching the private Initiative files, and I found a way to
reverse the effects of the chip."

    Spike threw down his smoldering cigarette and crossed the stone floor,
grabbing Willow by the chin, forcing her face up so she met his eyes. He
leaned over, his face a mask of disbelief, paranoia, desperation, and hope..
with anger hiding just below the surface. He searched her eyes as she stood
there, body held perfectly still, her eyes boldly meeting his. He furrowed
his brow in disbelief, his voice uncharacteristically soft.

    "You're not lying."

    It wasn't a question.

    "You're not lying. You're telling the truth. You can help me.. and you're
telling me."

    Willow nodded slightly, her movement hindered by his grip on her chin --
a grip which noticeably tightened as the anger finally came to surface in his
face.

    "Why? Why are you telling me this? What's your game, witch? 'Let's go get
Spike's hopes all up and then take the piss out when we tell him it was all a
bloody joke'?"

    Willow scrunched up her nose and jerked her chin from his grasp, sighing
in exasperation.

    "No! The others.. no one even knows but me."

    Spike frowned, crossing his arms across his chest, taking a step back.

    "I don't get it. You're telling me, the vampire who has tried to kill you
and all of your friends on various occasions, and who would try again and
again, that you've found a way to reverse the effects of the chip in my head
which keeps me from doing just that?"

    Willow blinked, her very own thoughts being spoken by Spike.

    "I was sort of asking myself that very same question before you came in."

    "Then why?"

    Willow stared at the ground for a moment, then lifted one shoulder in a
small shrug.

    "I.. I feel sorry for you."

    Spike slowly took a seat in his chair, his eyes trained on Willow.

    "Go on."

    Willow glanced up, then looked about her, taking a seat on a nearby
outcropping of broken cement sarcophagus. She took a deep breath, voice soft,
eyes on her sneakers.

    "As much as I know what I'm doing is .. completely wacky .. I can't help
but think that what's been done to you is wrong. You know, in the moral
sense. I mean, sure -- you're a bloodsucking demon killer that would just as
soon kill me as veg out in front of the television.. but still. It's not
fair. I look at it like.. going out into the jungle and capturing a tiger,
then pulling out most of it's teeth, so it won't actually starve to death,
but it just can't survive the way it used to on an instinctual level. I <i>
know</i> you're evil. But I also know that it's just instincts to do what you
do. You eat .. people .. the same as I eat a hamburger. I understand that.
That's why .. I feel sorry for you. That's why I .. I want to help you."

    There was silence. Willow was afraid to look up. She didn't know what
she'd see. But after close to a minute of full silence, she chanced a glance.
To say she was surprised at what she saw would be an understatement.

    Spike was smiling. There was none of the typical cynicism lining his
face. None of the brash bravado, none of the Spike that was always there. It
was an honest smile.

    "Not you, love."

    Willow blinked.

    "Huh?"

    Spike chuckled, crossing his legs.

    "I said, not you. I wouldn't do away with you, Red."

    "Well.. why not?"

    "You sound offended, pet."

    Willow flustered, shaking her head.

    "No, no.. It's just.. well.. why not?"

    Spike shrugged.

    "To tell you the truth, love.. you're the only one of that lot I can
stomach. And.. you're the only one who's ever showed any sort of remorse
towards me. The rest of them treated me like a nuisance -- like some sick dog
that needed constant looking after. Like a pet no one wanted anymore, but
they felt too sorry for it to put it out of it's misery. You never did. You
always treated me decent. And.. you're still scared of me."

    Spike grinned a bit.

    "That means a lot, love."

    Willow's eyes widened a bit.

    "What.. what are you talking about? I'm not scared of you. You can't hurt
me."

    She summoned up some false courage, emitting a high-pitched giggle,
brushing his accusation aside with a wave of her hand.

    Suddenly, as quick as a flash, Spike was out of his chair, his hand in
her hair, his fangs a breath away from her throat. Willow screamed, clenching
her eyes shut tightly, her entire being tensed up, as tight as a bowstring.

    Spike chuckled, his breath cool on her throat as he muttered.

    "Told you so."

    He removed his hand from her hair, smoothing it down as his human mask
slipped back on and he pulled back, looking at her frightened features, a
bemused expression on his face. He sat back on his heels, crouched in front
of her. She slowly opened one eye, then the other. She scowled at the smug
expression on his face, and then -- in a very un-Willow-like manner -- shoved
him hard, so he sprawled on his back, a surprised laugh rising from his
disheveled form.

    "That was <i>not</i> funny, Spike!"

    He sat up with a grin.

    "Well, I found it quite entertaining, myself."

    She pouted and stood, shaking the papers at him in a scolding manner.

    "If you don't stop being so mean, I'm not going to help you."

    Spike sobered slightly, shaking his head.

    "No need to keep this up, love. I know you're not going to do it."

    Willow looked surprised.

    "What.. yes I was."

    Spike shook his head.

    "No. You weren't. You may have come here with the good intentions of
helpin' the less fortunate, but you've got a brain in that pretty head of
yours. You would have given it good thought, and then you would have realized
that by helpin' me out, you'd only be hurtin' yourself and your friends in
the long run."

    Willow looked at him for a minute, stretched out on the ground, legs
crossed, propped up on his hands. She stood and slowly paced the tomb rolling
the papers up in a small tube, then letting them unroll. Over and over again.
She was jolted out of her thoughts by Spike's casual tone.

    "Besides, you couldn't do it, anyway. I've heard them talk about you.
You're really no good, you know. Always muckin' things up. I mean, look at
that spell you did that made me an' Buffy get all matrimonial, and the
Watcher blind, and the dufus a demon magnet. Not very skilled, if you ask me.
I don't even know why you're here, wastin' my precious time."

    Willow spun around, her mouth hanging open in astonishment. Spike was
standing nearby, arms crossed casually once more, a bored expression on his
face. That's when Willow got angry.

    "Screw you, Spike! I am <i>too</i>, good! I'm <i>really</i> good, damnit!
So, I've made mistakes. <i>Everyone</i> makes mistakes! God, why can't you
people just accept the fact that I'm actually good at something?! So, maybe
I'm not the damn Slayer! It doesn't mean I don't have gifts, too!"

    Spike snorted and looked away, shaking his head.

    "If you say so, Red. But if you want me to believe that, you'll have to
prove it to me."

    Willow narrowed her eyes and stalked over to Spike, grabbing him by the
front of his shirt, yanking him down. She was now face to face with a very
surprised vampire. When she spoke, her voice was low and calculated, like
he'd never heard. It made him proud.

    "You want proof? I'll give you proof. Sit the fuck down. I'm fixing you.
That'll show you."

    Spike blinked, a grin spreading across his face.

    "Why, pet.. I didn't even know you knew the f-word."

    "Shut up, Spike! Sit down!" she barked.

    He just chuckled and sat on the floor where she was pointing.

    Then she began.

***

    Three hours later, a very groggy Willow recited the final words to
complete the spell. Spike had gone under an hour prior, as per requirement
for the spell to be successful. As soon as the final words left her lips,
Spike slipped into game face, yellow eyes popping open. He jumped up, swaying
on his feet for a moment, grating his teeth as his hand shot up to his
forehead, letting out a howl as a bright surge of pain shot through his
skull, similar to the pain he felt when the chip activated, but ten times
worse.

    Then, it was gone.

    He rubbed his sore head a few time, blinking at his slight
disorientation. Then he opened his eyes and glanced over at Willow. She
looked dead on her feet, but alert. Her green eyes trained on him warily, the
sheaf of papers clutched so tightly in her hands, her knuckles had turned
white.

    "S-spike?"

    He blinked a few more time, shaking his head slightly to clear it. He
swallowed thickly, hope alighting his eyes.

    "Did it work?"

    Willow shook her head.

    "I-I don't know. You'd need to, um.. t-test it."

    Spike stared at her for a moment. He sniffed the air, smelling the same
scent of fear that had been floating in the tomb for the past three hours,
but it continued to grow and grow. He quirked his mouth in a small smile,
then slowly stepped over to Willow, whose eyes widened at his approach.

    "S-spike.. you promised. Remember? Y-you promised.."

    Her voice was taking on a hysterical edge, and as he reached her, he lay
one finger on her lips to silence her.

    "So I did."

    Yellow eyes met green as he reached down, taking her hand gently in his.
He glanced down at her small, delicate limb, turning her hand palm side up,
running his thumb lightly over the fine blue tracery of veins on her inner
wrist. As slow as his smile, he brought her wrist up to his lips, grazing it
with a small kiss.

    "Spike! Please.."

    Her voice was a choked whisper, and he could hear her frightened tears.
He let out a soft "shhh", then slowly and gently bit into her wrist. Her
breath caught as she sucked it in, wincing at the small pain.

    The pleasure that small bite brought him was immeasurable. The sweet
taste of her blood on his tongue, like the finest aged red wine. He closed
his eyes and moaned softly, tongue darting out to catch the small trickle of
blood that flowed from the twin punctures. Her whimper brought him back and
he opened his eyes, letting his tongue run across the wound one last time
before pulling back, placing another small kiss on her wrist.

    Then he had her in his arms, her entire length pressed against him as he
slowly grazed her cheek with his knuckles. Her frightened eyes stared up at
him, but his yellow gaze held nothing but fondness. He slowly leaned down,
placing a very soft kiss on her lips, then he leaned over, whispering in her
ear, his voice slightly gruff.

    "I thank you.. and William thanks you, too."

    Then he released her and turned, walking over to the chair.

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