************************************************************
Part 10

Curiouser and Curiouser . . . .

Willow was surprised that Spike hadn't opened the door for
her.  He usually
waited for her arrival.  When she stepped inside, she saw a
black envelope and a platter
filled with cheese and crackers on a table in the foyer.
Emblazoned on the envelope in
crimson ink was the word, "RED".  She opened it to reveal a
black note card that  simply
said "EAT ME".   She could just picture the blond vampire
cackling as he wrote those two
words out. Willow smiled as she chose a treat from the
tray.
Willow was nibbling on a tangy piece of cheese, when she
spotted a glass of red
wine midway up the stairs .  With another black envelope.
She opened it and it said
"DRINK ME."  She picked up the glass and took a sip.
Willow ascended the rest of the
staircase.
Her bedroom door was ajar.  She entered to find Spike
sitting on the bed with a
box wrapped in black paper on his lap.   She opened her
mouth to speak when he put a
finger to his mouth and shook his head.
She smiled and went over to him and began to rip the paper
off the box.  She lifted
the lid to reveal a miniature of herself.   It was an
auburn-haired porcelain doll, dressed in
a elegant red gown.  Her hand shook a little. Another woman
in Spike's life had been
gifted with dolls.  Does he want another Drusilla?  She
raised her eyes to Spike's face.  His
expectant grin faded. "You don't like it, luv?"
"I'm not Drusilla, Spike." She said quietly.
"I know your not, pet."  He pulled her down to sit next to
him on the bed.
"Willow, when I look at you. . . I see you.  I don't wish
Dru was here." She continued to
look at him skeptically.  "Remember when I took you to the
factory?"
"You mean when you kidnapped me and asked me to do a love
spell?"
"Uh, right.  Sorry about that, luv.  Anyway. . .I was out
of my head.  Dru was gone,
I was all alone.  That's when I first noticed you.  You
stood up to me, put me in my place
even after I threatened you and your idiot friend.  I
admired your grit.  And when I was
close to you, had my head on your shoulder. . ." He closed
his eyes as if reliving the
moment. "Trust me, luv.  I never forgot about you." He put
the lid back, covering the
doll's face.  "I'll get you something better, pet."
Her fear faded a little, Spike had been with Drusilla for
over a hundred years.  He
thought that dolls were special to all women. She realized
that he had gotten her a tiny
version of herself to cherish.  She took the box from him.
"I love it." she said honestly. His
grin returned.  "You just freaked me out. For a second
there, I thought you might have
gotten me a voodoo doll."  She smiled to hear his bark of
laughter.
"I'm glad you like it, luv." He smiled. "Now where's my
'thank you' kiss?" She
picked the doll up and kissed his cheek with it.  He raised
his scarred eyebrow.  She gave
him a quick kiss on the mouth. "Do you talk to them?"
"Who?"
"The dolls?"
"Uh, no.  I stopped doing that when I was in grade school.
 Do you talk to them?"
"I used to for Dru sometimes.  I even made 'em talk to
her." He gave a slightly
embarrassed shrug, but his smile was a little nostalgic.
"Used to make her laugh.  She
didn't get to laugh much."
Willow smoothed his hair as he spoke.   His expression had
clouded after he said
that, she wondered what terrors he was revisiting in that
labyrinthine mind of his.  She
gave him a teasing smile, trying to lighten his mood.  She
picked up her small twin.
"Now all she needs is a little man doll."
"Just as long as it's a blond one."  Spike said gruffly.
He cleared his throat. "Are
you hungry, pet?"
"No, not really."
"Oh, the poof took you through a drive-thru somewhere
before he brought you
over? Did he spring for the bloody 99 cent menu?"
She laughed despite herself, playing along.  "No, he let
me order whatever I
wanted. And not from the kids menu either." She thought
about the cards he had left for
you.  "I liked the Alice in Wonderland set up, too.  How
did you think of it?"
He gestured to her shelf full of books. "You have that
book as well as Through the
Looking Glass." She was touched, he took the time and
effort to find out what she liked.
He smiled.  "How about a movie then?"
"You want to go to a theater?"  She was a little
surprised.  For the most part he
hadn't indicated any interest in going out.  She had always
assumed that he liked the fast-
paced nightlife.  After all, the Scooby's had encountered
him many times at the Bronze.
She was also a little disappointed.  She had been looking
forward to having him to
herself.
"Hmmmm. . .let me see, being in a darkened space with
dozens of mortals I don't
know?  Or be in a darkened living room with one very
special mortal.  Wait!  Let me
think. . ."
                             *********
"What in the bloody hell is that thing? Why is it singing?
 It doesn't look scary, just
. . .fuzzy."  Spike sat on the end of the couch, his feet
propped on the coffee table.  He had
rented Gremlins, knowing that scary movies were the
quickest way to a cuddle.  So far, he
wasn't impressed with the fear factor. Willow lay half on,
half off the couch at the other
end.  She kicked him.
"Shh!"  She loved this movie.  And she happened to find it
very frightening.
"Haven't you seen this before?"  He shook his head and
grabbed her feet and pulled
them into his lap. "It's a Mogwai.  Just watch."
He studied the screen as he slid her shoes off her feet, a
grin playing with the
corners of his mouth.  She was wearing woolly socks covered
with little witches on
broomsticks.  Gently he rubbed first one foot, then the
other, using his thumb to make
firm circles on the balls of her feet.  To his
satisfaction, she sighed and settled further into
the couch.  He smiled. The more relaxed she was when the
scary part came, the more she
would jump.  The more she jumped, the more reason he would
have to pull her into his
embrace. He could just imagine it.  Awww, did the little
fuzzy thing frighten you?  Come here
and the Big Bad will protect you.
                             *********
"For Christ's sake!  Not the microwave!  OH NO!!"  Spike
shrieked and Willow
pulled him closer.  The moment the first Gremlin had
appeared he had jumped so high he
almost fell off the couch.  The next thing she knew, he was
holding her like a shield from
the television and asking her when it was safe to look
again.  "That's disgusting!"
"What's the matter?"  She asked, trying not to laugh.
"I just don't understand.  What were those blobs?  What
happened to the fuzzy
one?"  A horrible thought struck him.  "Oh, bloody hell,
Red.  They didn't eat the little
bugger, did they?"
"No, he's just fine."  She patted his blond head. "And
you'd know that if you'd
kept your eyes open."
"I had my eyes open the whole time!"  He protested.  "It's
not like I'm scared, it's
just gross! Those weird slimy blobs remind me of baby chaos
demons.  Ever seen one?
Never mind, if you'd smelled one you'd understand.  Worse
than cabbage. "
"Uh-huh, this coming from the Big Bad?"
"I was ruthless-not icky."  They settled back down to
watch again.
"Sure, Spike.  Whatever you say."
"Aghhhhh!" Microwave popcorn flew through the air.
"What?!"  Willow jumped, and Spike clutched her closer.
"The nasty striped one just jumped into the pool!" Willow
tried.  She honestly
tried not to laugh.  She covered her mouth.  And tried to
think about something else.  But
when she looked at Spike and he was actually chewing on one
of his nails, she lost it.  It
started with an escaped snicker.  Then grew to giggles.  At
last, she just couldn't help
herself, and let out with a peal of laughter so loud, Spike
jumped again.  This just made
her laugh all the harder.
"Oh, you think it's funny, do you?"  He grabbed her by the
waist to prevent her
form falling off the sofa.  "Poor little Gizmo is hiding
terrified in a backpack, scared of the
light, and you think it's a joke!"
"I-I-I'm s-s-sorry!"  She gasped, trying to get herself
under control.
"That's it, you're gonna get it." His grip on her
tightened.
"Spike!  NO!  Don't you dare!"  It was too late.  All out
tickle warfare ensued.  By
the time they were finished, they both lay on the spilled
popcorn, between the coffee table
and the couch.  Willow sat on his stomach, trying to catch
her breath.  Spike crossed his
arms behind his head, not needing to.
"Oh, we missed the ending, luv."  He looked upset.  "Did
the little fuzzy one make
it?"
Willow coughed to hide the fresh giggles.  Then she
stretched.  It felt good to laugh
so much.   It occurred to her that she had not laughed once
today while at Angel's.  She
shook off that thought and looked down at Spike.  She
decided to take pity on him.  "Yes.
Gizmo's just fine.  He's even in the sequel."
"There's a sequel?  I should have rented it, too."
"I think one's enough for tonight."
Spike reached up and touched a lock of her hair.  "So what
do you say, pet?  Are
you finally hungry?"
She looked at him mischievously.  "Are you sure you can
stomach food?"
"Of course, luv.  I may be adorable, I may not even be
that fond of light, but you
can feed me after midnight." She moved to stand up, but he
stopped her.  In one fluid
movement, he stood, scooping her into his arms.  "You don't
have your shoes on."  He
offered as an explanation.
Once in the kitchen, he deposited her on one of the chairs
and headed to the fridge.
"What are you hungry for, pet?"
"Something sweet."
He pulled a white bakery box from the refrigerator and a
bottle of red wine.  "I bought strawberry cheesecake for us
at the store."  He didn't even
bother with plates, just grabbed two forks and two wine
glasses. They ate in companionable silence.  She had to
spear him with the fork occasionally when he tried to scoop
the strawberries off her half.
Soon, they were both clutching their stomachs, experiencing
eater's remorse.
                              ********
Spike stood in the moonlit kitchen, next to the open
window.  He lit a cigarette,
and watched the shapes the smoke made as it floated into
the night air.    He was having
more fun with Willow than he'd had in a long time.  But
tonight, there was a shadow
behind her eyes.  Angel.  But Spike wasn't the sort to be
put off by competition.  And he
wasn't about to see another woman in his life be ripped
apart by Angel and his emotional
tug of war.
Willow tried to catch his eye.  Nobody had ever openly
looked at her that way.
"What are you thinking about?"
"I'm thinking . . . about you."
"What about me?"
"I don't think you're really attracted to Angel."
"Spike, I thought we had gotten past this-"
"Just hear me out, pet.  After Dru left, I was devastated.
 So devastated, in fact, that
I took up with Harmony.  Obviously a rebound thing."
"Obviously."  She echoed sarcastically.  She hadn't liked
the girl as a human, and
hated her as a vampire.
"Maybe, you're interested in Angel because he's giving you
attention.  Or because
he's familiar."  He paused to take one last hit, then put
the cigarette out.  "Or . . ."
"Or what?"
He walked back over and kneeled in front of her chair.
"Maybe, it feels good to be
better than Buffy in some way.  To get the guy she wanted
and couldn't have."
She winced.  That hurt.  A part of her had to acknowledge
the truth of that
comment.  Then she thought back to this afternoon.  That
had not been all about Buffy.
"No, that's not it.  Not all of it, anyway," she whispered
softly. His eyes encouraged her.
"He's like Oz.  I mean, everyone has a type, right?" Spike
nodded slowly.  "Mine
must be strong, silent, and sensitive."
"I don't think so."
"You don't?"
"No, I think that you're type is strong, sarcastic, and
sensitive." He grinned for a
moment.  Then studied her again.  "Did you think about what
I said when you were with
him this afternoon?"
"Yes."
"Am I right?"
"Yes," she looked at him.  "And no. His intentions were
good."
"Of course his intentions were good.  Name me a human
catastrophe that was not
begun with good intentions.  But that's not what I'm
getting at, pet.  He may not be able
to help it.  He may have the best intentions in the world.
But a man like him will use you
up, and when you've all but faded away, he'll find a
someone else."  He lifted her chin.
"How long did Buffy last?  How quickly did he move on to
you?  He's a taker.  All those
tears and regrets?  If he was really sorry, do you think
he'd just sit around moping about
it?"
"But that's why he was with Buffy!  To help-"
"Precisely.  To make himself feel better.  Now why do you
think he wants to be
with you?"  Tears gathered in her eyes as she struggled to
understand.  Spike picked her
up, sat down in her chair and cradled her against his
chest.  He stroked her hair for a
moment. "You deserve to be taken care of."  She started to
protest.  He put a finger across
her lips."No, not because you can't take care of yourself,
because sometimes you
shouldn't have to.  You don't always have to be strong."
He brushed her hair out of her
eyes.  "He's not the type you belong with."
Regaining some of her strength, she pulled back to stare
at him with her tear-
streaked face.  She brushed them away with the back of her
sleeve. " Oh?  And what type do I belong with?"
"Mine."
                              *******
Buffy dusted what she hoped was the last vampire of the
evening.  She blew the
remaining ashes off of trusty Mr. Pointy and deposited him
in her bag of weapon, then
headed for her dormitory.  On her way, she passed Anya who
was sitting on a bench.
She appeared to be crying. Buffy winced, Xander had  broken
up with her.
"Anya, are you alright?" Buffy said, sitting down beside
her.
"Yes, I'm fine." She said morosely. . She pulled a tiny
packet of tissues from her
jeans pocket and pulled one out to wipe away the tears.
"Anya, you're crying.  Want to tell me about it?"
"It's Xander, he-"
"I know." Buffy patted the girl's back awkwardly. She
didn't know what to do.
She knew Anya would be upset, she just never expected her
to take it this hard.  She must
have really loved Xander.  Still, Buffy couldn't help but
wish Xander and Willow
happiness.  Wills had been in love with him for years.
"Xander can be so cruel some times.  I just don't
understand it.  If I asked you
something, would you give me an honest answer?"
"Uh, sure." Buffy prayed this question didn't involve
Willow and how long the
two had been dating.
"Do I smell like cabbage?"
"What?"
"Do I smell like cabbage?"  When nothing but a confused
squeak came out of
Buffy's mouth, she burst into fresh tears.  "It's true!
Xander was right.  He was talking on
the phone after we'd just had wild sex tonight.  Xander
said something about a demon
that smelled like cabbage!  Then, he laughed! And I just
know it's me!" She buried her
face in her hands.  "I'm so ashamed."
"No, you don't smell like cabbage."  Buffy said, patting
her shoulder.  Buffy had
no idea what was going on here.  Wills and Xander were
discussing demons on the phone
while Anya listened.  Xander hadn't broken up with Anya
yet!  He was lying to both girls?
Stringing them both along for "sweaty fun times"!
She refused to believe Willow would have any part of the
deception.  Willow
wasn't a good liar, her guilt always won out.  Buffy walked
the distressed ex-demon
home, promising her that she would go shopping with her
for perfumes and body
washes the next day.   She had to tell her best friend what
Xander was doing. Buffy made
a mental note to have a serious talk with Willow the next
time she saw her.

Part 11

Willow put the small fuzzy animal on the pillow facing
Spike.  In a moment, she
would let her alarm go off to wake the sleeping vampire.
She was still in her flannel
nightgown.  He had carried her upstairs last night and she
had fallen asleep with this
arms around her.  The only thing that clouded her feeling
of contentment was thinking
of Angel.  Guilt over enjoying herself with Spike.
Spike was falling in love with  her.  Angel was falling
in love with her.  She was
falling for both of them.  Her feelings were impossibly
entangled, she wished there were
someway she could sort them out.  She had never intended
her little bet with Spike to
escalate into a full-blown vampire love triangle.
Willow's alarm went off, noisy and shrill.  Spike's eyes
snapped open and he
turned his head.  He let out a blood curdling scream and
jumped out of bed, but he fell
to the floor because his ankle was twisted in the sheets.
"Bloody Hell!"  He spotted
Willow.  "Run for your life, Red!  I bet he brought his
green buddies with him."
When, he couldn't get away, he shifted into demon face and
growled at the fluffy
troublemaker. He looked closer at the fuzzy character.
"It's Gizmo."  He picked it up.
"Oh, he's not real."  His voice held equal parts relief and
disappointment.  Spike noticed
Willow's barely concealed grin. "Tryin' to scare me, pet?"
"No.  Yes.  Only a little.  Xander gave him to me after we
saw the movie.  I slept
with the little guy for months afterwards, he's been in my
closet shelf ever since.  I
couldn't bear to throw him away. . .I just. . .wanted you
to have him."  She smiled at him
impishly as he struggled to his feet. "I do appreciate your
heroic effort to save me from
my stuffed animal.  Were you going to bite him?"
He crossed his arms.  "That's not funny, pet.  I was half
asleep, having a
nightmare about those nasty green blokes.  Then, I wake up
to find that bloody thing on
the pillow next to me."  He wouldn't look at her. "And I
thought the way I woke up
yesterday was frightening. " He tried to look upset with
her, but he was absurdly
pleased that she was gifting him with a treasured childhood
toy.
"Tell me, Spike, how can you be afraid of a gremlin when
you have killed so
many people and caused so much trouble in the past?"
"Well, I was the one causing all of it, wasn't I?"  He
said, defensively.  Then he
seemed to shudder.   "Besides, they're so green, and scaly
and . . . little." He held his hand
at knee level.
"You're scared of little things?"
"You wouldn't ask me that if you  heard the stories
Angelus told me about the
little people in Ireland.  Ferocious.  Besides, what would
you be scared of if you were
immortal?"  He pointed out.  "Little things that slip past
your notice.  Creepy crawlies
that you don't see until it's too late."
"Angelus used to tell you stories?"  She sat Indian-style
on the end of the bed.
"Oh, that's the one thing that catches your interest?
Him?  When I'm half scared
out of my mind, you want to know about him?"  He pouted as
he sat down on the floor
to look up at her.
"No.  I want to know about what kind of stories you
heard."  She replied
diplomatically.
"Are you handling me, luv?"
"Are you still stalling?"
He paused a moment to think about which stories to tell
her about.  The fairies?
The banshee?  The brownies?  The leprechauns?   "He told us
stories that would chill you
to the bone."  Spike looked around.  Willow had duct-taped
heavy blankets to the
curtains for him, and the lighting was soft now, even at
ten in the morning of a sunny
California day.  Willow gathered herself closer and leaned
forward intently, as he began
to speak.  "Brownies are troublesome little folk . . ."
Willow watched as he spun tale after tale.  He shifted his
head and shoulders with
the motion of the characters and even managed to effect a
version of the brogue she had
heard Angel using the other night.  She was surprised to
learn that he was a very
talented story-teller.  "I don't think he could have told
them any better.  You're really
good at that."  She looked at him intently.  "I can't
believe he really sat around telling
you stories."
"We were his children, Red.   Besides, he probably took
some sadistic pleasure in
frightening the monsters that frighten people."  He gave a
half smile.  "Sometimes, like
when he was telling us stories, he wasn't so unbearable."
Willow was perplexed.  She had never heard Spike speak
about Angel or Angelus
in this way before.  She knew from Giles' texts that there
was certain bond between a
vampire and their maker.  But,  somehow she had never
connected that to Spike and
Angel.  Of course, reflecting on what she knew of Drusilla,
Spike's true sire, she
supposed that she wasn't quite capable of playing the
mentor role for him.  And Angelus
appeared to be the "Alpha" vampire, so to speak, who else
would he look to?  She
motioned for him to sit next to her on the bed.  "What was
he like the rest of the time?"
"Don't ask me that, pet."  He looked at her with haunted
eyes and gripped her
hand.  "You don't need nightmares, too."
"You can trust me, Spike."  She shifted so they could face
each other.  "I have met
Angelus.  I know what he was like with humans.  I always
tried to imagine what he was
like with other demons."
Spike closed his eyes to call up the past, again.
"Sometimes, he was a real
charming bloke.  He'd tell us stories, lead hunts, even
bring home dinner.  Other times,
he . . .didn't."
She remained silent, encouraging him with her eyes to
continue.  "Darla was
never the one who got hurt.  He bended to her every whim.
And when she upset him,
he had only one place to get his frustrations out."  Spike
tilted his head to the side.  "He
wasn't like most demons.  He didn't blow up all at once.
When he got mad, he got real
quiet.  And you knew it was coming.  You could feel the
tension.   I would sit
downstairs, silence all around me.  And then you would hear
it.  The screaming.
"I forced myself to listen.  If she couldn't escape it,
neither could I.  He was older,
stronger.  Meaner. And if I challenged him, got in his
face.  He would make it that much
worse for her.  I would sit, listening to her screaming,
and I promised myself. . .someday.
. . I would be stronger.  I would find a way to prove I was
his equal.  Then I could stop
him from hurting her."
"When he finished, I would go to her.  Tried to bring her
presents to erase the
new images in her mind."  He shook his head.  "She would
just gaze back at me.  So
empty.  Empty because she couldn't appease the anger Darla
caused.  Couldn't be what
he needed.  She used to tell me that she would never be
enough.  That it was her fault.
"But what really got to me in the end, was when she
started to like it.  Because
those were the only times that he paid attention to her.
That was right before the bloody
bastard went off and got himself a soul.  And now, instead
of paying for what he did,
there he sits like a bleeding knight in shining armor.
Wanting people to feel sorry for
him."   Spike bit his lip. He wasn't sure if he should have
told her this, could she handle these
twisted memories?
Willow wondered if she would have been better off not
knowing what he had just
told her.  But, knowing what she did, there was one last
thing she had to ask.  "Did he
ever hurt you like that?"
"Not like that.  We fought of course, he busted me up a
few times. But nothing
like what he did to her.  He didn't have to."  Spike met
her eyes for the first time.  "After
I gave up trying to please him, all he had to do was hurt
Dru.  That was worse than
anything else he could have done."
"When Angel lost his soul. . .why did you let him back in
your life?"
"Could you turn your father away?"

                             ********

  Willow sat on her front doorstep. Angel would be
arriving soon.   She held the
doll Spike had given her.  Willow had named the doll, Red,
which had pleased Spike.
Her mind was still swirling with the images Spike had put
into her mind.  She wasn't all
that sure that she could face Angel tonight.  Sometimes,
she had bad dreams about
Angelus.   Spike's memories would only add to her nocturnal
nightmares. The worst one
was when he held her by the throat in the hallway of her
highschool.  She usually woke
up screaming, hands clutching the phantom fang marks in her
neck, trying desperately
to stem the flow of her lifeblood.
Spike stood behind her, his hands smoothing her hair. He
had been overly
cheerful today, trying to distract her. . . until the sun
had set.  Then, he had followed her
around.  Silent.  Watching her prepare for her evening with
Angel, but making no
comment.  She knew that he wanted her to stay with him. She
also knew that she
couldn't stay here tonight.  Willow needed to talk to
Angel, to gain his perspective.
Maybe that would provide the missing piece to the puzzle.
Help her make some sort of
livable solution to her predicament.
Angel pulled into the driveway of Willow's home.  In the
darkness, he saw a
shadowed female figure, sitting on the steps.  Clutching a
doll.  Over her, stood Spike,
illuminated by the faint glow of the porch light.  He
stroked the woman's hair.  Angel's
hands gripped the steering wheel, resisting the urge to
turn the car around and go back
home.  He steeled himself as he switched off the ignition.
This confrontation was
inevitable.  He slowly walked towards the stoop, pulling
the sunglasses from his eyes.
"Drusilla." Willow. They clattered to the ground, both lens
cracking.
Willow looked up at Angel, disconcerted by his expression
and his use of the
other woman's name.  Spike moved to place himself between
Angel and Willow.  "You
could at least get her name right, Angelus."
"Angel."
" Souled or soulless you're still the same bastard."
Willow touched Spike's arm.  He looked down at her.  "You
don't have to go with
him, luv.  You can walk back in that house and I'll keep
you safe."
"Angel isn't going to hurt me tonight, Spike"
"No, he'll wait until you fall in love him before he does
that." He kissed her
temple and backed away.
Willow stood up and Angel slipped his arm through hers,
still shaken.  He
managed to escort her to the car and open the door for her.
 They drove away, leaving
Spike standing on the doorstep.  He cradled Red
protectively in his arms.
Willow shifted her legs uncomfortably in the car.  Angel
had still not spoken to
her.  He seemed lost in his own thoughts. "You thought I
was Drusilla?"
"Yes," he admitted.  She noticed they were driving in the
direction of his hotel
room. "We need to talk about a few things."
"I agree." Willow wanted some answers from him. They drove
the rest of the way
in silence.
                             ********
Angel indicated one of the overstuffed chairs and Willow
sunk into it.  The
vampire sat across from her in the chair's twin.  "I'm
worried about you, Willow.  There
are some things you need to know about Spike.  But first, I
have to tell you about
William, the man he was before he was turned." She sat back
in her chair, content to let
him tell this story in his own way for now.
She noticed that he had momentarily stopped treating her
in a loverlike way, he
was once more the Angel she had always known. Distant.
Troubled.  He seemed
reluctant to begin.
"Spike told me that Drusilla sired him.  That she wanted a
companion."  She
prompted.
"That's true.  She sired him.  But he became my. .
.Angelus' responsibility.  He
wasn't the headstrong, irreverent vampire that you
currently know."
"He told me that he had wanted to be a poet."
"William."  He leaned forward in his chair. "At first,
Angelus thought Drusilla
had not chosen wisely. He and Darla had contemplated
staking the fledgling. William
was a pathetic vampire at first.  Despondent, grieving for
some human woman who had
rejected him. Drusilla had found him in an alleyway,
crying.  Darla and Angelus thought
he was just her toy, a plaything to be kept for a while and
then discarded."  He
explained this further when he saw her confusion.
"Vampires pick a human to be a
childe very carefully. They must look for a sign.  You see,
any human can be made into a
minion.  But, it takes a certain type of person to become a
childe. The stress of being
immortal is more than most humans can stand."
"And Spike didn't possess this sign?"
"Maybe they it wasn't as visible, or as potent.  But
Drusilla was able to see what
lay beneath that weak exterior of his.  And Angelus became
William's true sire, because
Drusilla was not up to the task.   At first, William seemed
to have little taste for killing.
He would starve himself for days before he was forced to
find food. The months went by
though and he grew stronger.  Angelus taught him well."
Angel cleared his throat. "He
instructed Spike to play with his victims, gain enjoyment
from their deaths. Soon, Spike
became his prized pupil.  The two would often hunt
together.
  "That changed when Spike began to desire Drusilla.  That
closeness ended and
jealousy replaced it. He began openly challenging Angelus.
He tried to craft a new
image for himself as 'Spike'.  Making up for the
indignities he had suffered as a human
while trying to cover his inadequacies as a vampire. He was
obsessed with making a
name for himself.  Killing wantonly.  Stalking slayers.
But you probably knew this part."
  Willow was curious.  "Something you said earlier. . .how
does a vampire know a
mortal's aptitude to be a demon?"
"It's a scent, Willow. A particular fragrance that only
some humans possess." He
swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry.  "You have that smell."
Willow was aghast, unable
to verbalize any reaction to the knowledge.  Suddenly, she
was once again in the factory,
Spike's captive.  "That smell . . .your neck . . .I haven't
had a woman in weeks."  Hadn't Spike
admitted that he'd had his eye on her since that very
night?
"I've seen the way that you two act around each other,
Willow.  I know that you
think he's harmless now.  That Spike's fun and spontaneous.
 But he's a demon."
She sighed.  "Angel, I know he's a demon-"
"You don't understand.  Think about his situation, Willow.
 What two things did
Spike love most?  Killing.  But the chip took away that
pleasure. And Drusilla. She's
gone as well but he can do something about that. He
searched for a replacement and he
thinks he has found one in you."
"No, Spike doesn't want to replace Drusilla. He wants to
get on with his life."
"Please listen to me." He took her hand.  "I saw you
sitting there playing with a
doll.  He gave it to you, didn't he?"
"Yes. But, he's only bought gifts for one woman and she
liked-"
"No, Willow.  Not originally.  That little trend started
long after I was soulled and
she was left alone with Spike.  She became his doll, a toy
that he could control."
"Wait just a second.  Angelus did terrible things to her,
drove her to madness-"
"Yes, Angelus helped to push her into lunacy, but Spike
has helped to keep her
there. He wanted her to be passive and needy."  He was
about to go on when he felt her
eyes on him.  "What is it?  Why are you  looking at me that
way?"
"He told me."
"He told you what?"  He asked with trepidation.
" The torture. You didn't stop once she was crazy.  You
didn't stop once you
turned her."  Her eyes held a glint of accusation.
"I? I didn't do any of those things, Willow. Angelus did."
 He looked betrayed.
"Oh, Angel!  I didn't mean 'you'!  I meant Angelus." She
took a deep breath.  She
started to ask what had been on her mind all day.  But she
couldn't seem to form the
words when he looked so upset.
"What is it?"  He asked gently.
"As Angelus, could you love?"
"Could I love?"
"I am sure that Spike loves.  As a vampire.  Did you?"
"No." He confessed.  "I needed.  I obsessed.  But that's
what vampires feel.  And
that's how Spike feels about you.  He wants to possess you.
 It makes him feel good to be
needed, to take care of a weakened creature."
"And I'm weak?  That's why he wants me?  So he can turn me
into some insane
child that he-"
"No, you are not weak.  Not yet. But if you stay with him,
you will be.  Can't you
see it, darling?  He's pushing you into her demented role
in his life.  There have been
hints of it, haven't there?  He's offered you his
protection, hasn't he? His assistance?
Spike will squirm his way into your affections by helping
you.  Then, once he's found all
your vulnerabilities, he'll hold you captive by them."
Willow could think of nothing to
say to defend Spike.  He had offered to protect her on
numerous occasions.  Been her
caretaker.  Images of him assailed her. Cooking for her,
helping her with her school
work, and offering her comfort.  Innocuous.  But not seen
in the light that Angel had
placed them.   She was staggered by it.  She had grown to
want him in her life in a very
short time.   How long would it be before she needed him?
Couldn't survive without
him?
Angel could see his words hitting home with her.  "He is
charming and
handsome, darling.  But don't let that distract you from
the truth.  I know that you don't
want to believe that makes a difference, because he has a
chip.  He won't have that thing
in his head forever. Once it's out, how long do you think
it will be before he starts killing
again?  How long would it take him to turn you, make you
his mate for eternity?"
Willow shivered.  Unbidden, came the image of him
crouching over her on her
dorm bed.  His fangs grazing her throat.  She could hear
his words in her mind.   "I'll
give you a choice.  Now, I'm going to kill you.  No choice
in that.  But, I can let you stay dead.
Or.  I can bring you back -- to be like me."  She wondered
how she could have ever
forgotten that.
Then her thoughts drifted back to this morning, and
Spike's face as he had spoken
about Angelus.  Even Angel said that when Spike was first
sired, he was not a natural
killer.  She thought about what Spike had said about
proving himself so he could protect
Dru.  Angel saw the doubt in her face.  "People can
change."  She whispered.
"Spike isn't a person, Willow."
"And neither are you. "
"But I am capable of remorse, I have a soul.  I can love."
 He protested.  Her eyes
shone fiercely.  "You seem so certain Spike can do these
things.  Why?  Because you
think he loved Drusilla?"
"No.  Because I think that he loved you."
"Willow, what type of creature could love Angelus?"
"One capable of forgiving the creature who had destroyed
his first true love."
                             ********
Angel put the cup of coffee on the table beside Willow's
chair.  She gave him an
unsteady smile.  "What do you say we get out of here?  I
meant for us to have fun
tonight, not discuss the intricacies of vampirism."
"Oh, I'm sorry, Angel."  Why did she always end up
apologizing to him?  "I've ruined
your plans for the night, haven't I?"
"Nonsense."  He replied, graciously.  "Vampires always
know where the late-
night action is."
"Would you answer one more question for me?" He nodded and
braced himself.
"Would you give me the back story on the dust buster
comment?" She smiled
mischievously.
"NO."  It was apparent that was all he would say on that
subject.  "Are you
hungry?"
"Are we going to Denny's?"
"Nope, we're going to this neat little place called
Swenson's, and then I thought
we'd go to the drive-in."
"The drive-in?"
"Yes.  Double feature.  We'll make it in plenty of time to
see the second show."
                             ********
Riley put his arm around Buffy as they headed into her
house.  "Tired?" He asked
sympathetically.
"No.  I'm actually kind of keyed up."
"Well, I wasn't going to say anything, but Grease is
playing at the Drive-in."
"Sounds . . .icky."  She flashed him a smile.  "I'll get a
shower, and then we'll go."
He kissed her, quickly, and sat down to wait for her to get
ready.
                              ******
Anya sprayed herself with the peach body splash one more
time before she
walked back into the living room.  She hoped she'd put on
enough, Xander looked
disgusted about something.  "What's the matter?"
"I'm bored and there's nothing on t.v."  He answered with
a sigh.
"Want to have sex?" She suggested helpfully.
" Well, yes," He looked at her, and you bothered to ask,
because . . . why? "But there's
something I've wanted to do since I was thirteen."
"And that would be?"  She asked, encouraged that he was
not turned off by her
smell.
"Ever been to a drive-in?"

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