Giles moved closer to the ER bay, whispering to Willow under his breath. " Come on Willow… Don't leave us… we all need you…."

Giles turned and looked at the dazed group in the waiting room. Angel was standing alone off in the corner looking guilty. Buffy and Xander were locked in a supportive embrace and Spike was weeping openly crouched defeatedly on the floor.

Giles thought.

He moved toward the group in the center of the room.

" Come lets all join hands and send Willow our thoughts of healing love." Giles asked.
The four pairs of eyes looked at him like he just started shouting obscenities.

" Get over here now" he growled " It won't hurt? Will it?" He chided.

Buffy and Xander moved quickly to his side followed by Angel. Spike looked up and Giles waved him over. Buffy already holding Xanders hand grasped Giles. Angel stood on the other side of Giles and grabbed his outstretched hand. Spike looked at the break in the circle, he moved between the men grasping their hands in his firm grip. Everyone closed their eyes as Giles said a prayer.

"God and Goddess, here our prayers and loving thoughts. Our dear Willow is the best among us. We will gladly give her our love and healing energies, May it be so."

As the group stood joined in silence they heard the comforting sound of the ER monitor beep in regular rhythm.

A few moments later the doctor came out of the bay and reported that Willow appeared to be stabilized.

" Will she be all right?" five sets of voices chimed in unison.

" She should be, she was in shock from blood loss, and it caused an arrhythmia sending her into cardiac arrest. The transfusion helped and we were able to correct the arrhythmia. Her heart is strong.

" What about the baby?" Giles asked.

" She pregnant?" the doctor asked.

" Yes" Giles nodded looking at Spike.

" We'll need to do some other tests first." The physician replied.

" Can we see her?" Xander asked grinning

" Not yet, she'll be unconscious for a while…let me run the a few tests and then I'll do a sonogram" the doctor answered.

" The father can be present for that, the doctor offered looking at the three men in the room uncertainly."

Spike moved forward, " Yes he answered" he didn't know what the hell that test was but he wanted to see Red as soon as possible.

Xander in relief after hearing that Willow would be ok, decided to get some celebratory snack food. " I'm going to raid the vending machine. Buffster care to join me?" he asked ignoring the two vamps. " Can we get you something Giles?"

" Yes, tea please." He answered politely.

Angel moved closer to Giles as Spike began pacing the small room again like a caged animal.

" Giles do you think there is any way that Aaron can come back and try and get and her again?"

" I'm not certain, he would need a talisman of hers…. The locket… if he still had it… although Willow said that she originally got the locket from your things assumed it was yours." Giles stated.

" I have several trunks of stuff from my Angelus days. Things that I kept as trophies to remind me of the pain and terror I caused.. After I changed I kept the things to remind me what an animal I had become .. and not to ever forget the horror and damage I inflicted." Angel explained

" I can search for it, it might help to know." Angel replied.

" Yes," Giles said removing his glasses and wiping them with a handkerchief.

Buffy and Xander returned, and Giles explained Angel's absence. The three friends sat quietly. Spike continued to pace as Xander shot daggers into his restless form.

The doctor reappeared, with a smile on his face. " The test so far indicate a healthy fetus, the babies heartbeat is strong, and I don't expect any residual effect from this accident."

" How would you like to see you child?" the doctor grinned at Spike.

Spike looked at the doctor in puzzlement. He followed the doctor into the examining room. His unbeating heart caught in his throat as he looked at Willow's pale, unconscious form lying under the bright fluorescent lights. He quickly moved to her side leaned down and whispers to Willow's inert form. " Oh Baby, I'm so sorry.. I love you baby… everything's going to be all right… the baby is alright to" he said as he kissed her softly upon the cheek and caressed her forehead.

Spike noticed the equipment stuck to Willow's pelvis. The doctor said to look at the monitor. All Spike was snow. He heard an incredibly fast heartbeat. " Is that the..? " he asked dumbstruck. " Yes. Look there the child is." The doctor pointed to the screen. Spike saw in black and white the tiny outline of a head, and impossibly small arms and legs. " Look .. Look, Red.. It's the babe.," he said with childlike glee as he held her hand. " Would you like to know the sex of the baby?" the doctor asked.

Spike nodded his head, " Your going to have a son" the doctor replied.

A few minutes later, Spike barreled out of the ER bay grinning like at idiot, he grabbed Buffy in a crushing embrace and swung her around laughing, " a son… were going to have a son."

Before Buffy could react to Spike's shocking actions, he let her go and grabbed Giles in an equally tight embrace and gushed some more. Giles groaned in pain but managed to pat Spike on the back. Spike released Giles and in his glee filled daze almost grabbed Xander. Xander's touch me and you die scowl, brought Spike back to reality. He composed himself and turned back to face Buffy and Giles. " The doctor is moving her to a room for observation overnight. He said we can see her then." He explained.

Angel had emptied three trunks of old stuff. He found an oblong silver locket at the bottom of the trunk.
He removed it and noted the silver chain was broken, the locket was scratched and was twisted ever so slightly preventing it from being opened. Angel twisted the locket in the opposite direction to free the clasp. He open it at saw a small picture of Willow and Spike looking lovingly into one another eyes. He read the inscription love always W.

Angel cursed himself for all the pain and heartache he had caused Willow and Spike as his alter ego Angelus. Angel, at first didn't remember Willow when he first met her in Sunnydale. He wasn't supprised because Angel blocked out a lot of the kinds of things that Angelus had done. Angel did however have some vague recollections when he lost his soul last year. He knew Angelus was taken with the redheaded friend of the slayer and that Angelus and made some long term plans to vamp the girl. Angel feeling sickened by his past deeds and actions, lest the mansion to return to the hospital. He would somehow try and make things up to his friend Willow and regain the trust of his childe.

The nurse said that Willow could have visitors and that she was regaining consciousness but only two persons at a time could visit.

Xander grabbed Buffy's hand, glaring at Spike. " Come on Buff."

~~~~~~~
 
 

Xander and Buffy entered Willow's hospital room. Willow was very pale and looked groggy. Xander sat on the edge of her bed and leaned down and kissed her softly on the cheek. " How's my bested Bud in the whole wide world?" Buffy leaned over and kissed Willow also, and sat in the chair near the bed and took Willow's hand in her own.

Spike loomed just outside the door with earshot of the reunion. He wanted to rush in but suddenly was scared to see disgust or fear in her eyes.

Willow asked, "Am I in Sunnydale? OH GOD THE BABY… is the baby alright… Spike… Spike." she cried unable to tell the awful truth.

"Hey Will's everything is AOK girl, your fine, the baby is fine" Buffy said squeezing her hand.

" What about Spike?" she whimpered "I hurt him… is… "

" You hurt him… " Xander exploded. " The God Damn monster almost killed you!"

" Xander," Buffy reprimanded, " He' s OK too, it wasn't really Spike who bit you… well it was but.. it wasn't.."

Xander jumped up off the bed; " I can't believe your trying to defend him… I don't understand the attraction you two have for dead demons." Xander was so overcome with anger and relief at seeing Willow he thought he was going to cry again. He stomped out the door and almost ran over Spike.

" God damn Ghoul" Xander hissed. "Tell me something,… Do you really have feelings for her?" Xander asked narrowing his eyes.

Spike nodded his head affirmatively. "Do you love her more than you love yourself?" Xander asked.

" Yes" Spike replied flatly.

Xander, stabbed his finger in Spike's chest, " If you really loved her you would get out of her life for good… what kind of life can you give her you.. you.. freak… We can take care of her… keep her safe"
Xander began to run out of steam, " Please I'm begging you do what's best for her." He said his eyes filling up with tears. Xander went down the hall to let Giles know he could see Willow.

Part of Spike wanted to rip the boy lungs out. The other part knew the boy was right.
Spike listened to Buffy and Willow talking softly.

" I was so scared… Aaron.. put images in my head.. He tried to make me think that Spike had tortured his friend Henry and… killed… Randy and Mary our friends… It was so horrible." " I know that Spike couldn't have done that and that the demon who bit me wasn't.. couldn't be my Spike

Spike squeezed his eyes shut.

Spike moved away from Willow's room passed Giles and Xander I the hallway. He left the hospital, and was stopped by Angel.
" Hey, is Willow alright?" he asked in alarm.

" Yeah she good, I need to get some air." Spike offered. He turned to leave.

Angel, touched Spike's arm and spoke; " I don't think Aaron can hurt her anymore… Giles and I were talking and I found her locket." " Maybe you can give it to her again.. I'm sure she'd like that." Angel said. Handing the locket to Spike.

" Angel … Do you think you and the slayer have a future together?" Spike asked.

Angel felt like Spike kicked him in the gut. " No, why do you ask?" he responded defensively.

" Nothing, I didn't think so" Spike walked away into the night, holding the locket in his hands.

He went back to the clearing at Witches Hollow. Saber bounded up to him, mewling her distress at being left behind.

" I forgot all about you in the commotion, Pet." He said picking her up.

" I need you to do me a favor, OK." He asked looking into her green eyes.

~~~~~~
 
 

Giles entered Willow's room and he approached her bedside and stood next to Buffy.

" Are you mad at me?" Willow asked with concern.

Giles thought he might cry, " No.. No.. Dear child, I'm glad you're alright, we will however be starting highly supervised lessons when you're better."

Willow eyes were drooping, Buffy said she was going to let Will get some rest and left her alone with Giles.

Buffy found Angel in the waiting room. " How is she?" he asked with concern.

"She's as white as a sheet, but she seems good.. she kinda wigged out about the good Spike/ bad Spike/Aaron thingie." Buffy answered. " Hey where is he anyway?" " The way he was carrying on before I kinda thought he would be spreading good parental cheer with Will."

" Spike's pretty shook up by all this, he's blaming himself." Angel responded.

" Well he can save the pity party for later Willow needs him right now." " Where is he?"
She asked.

" He went to get some air" Angel replied. " Do you think Willow would see me?" Angel asked with trepidation.

" I don't know." " She seems to have a better appreciation about the evil/good thing… I could ask her," Buffy said, reaching up and kissing Angel on the cheek.

Buffy reentered Willow's room to see Xander back on her bed eating junk food and Willow explaining her new found powers to an enraptured Giles.

"Hey, Angel wants to know if you're up to seeing him?" Buffy asked.

Buffy saw Willow's face contort with anger, pain, and guilt. Willow swallowed hard and nodded her head affirmatively. Willow asked if Xander and Giles could give her a minute with Angel alone. They nodded and left.

Angel's face lit up like a tree a Christmas tree when Buffy told him that Willow wanted to see him.
Willow managed a tight smile for Angel when he walked into the room.

Angel wanted to throw his arms around this tiny pale girl. He stopped half way to her bedside pined in place by her intense gaze. His mouth was dry and he didn't know what to say.

" It's good to see you Angel" Willow managed to utter.

Angel moved quickly across the room and knelt down by Willow's bedside.

" Willow, I'm so sorry for … everything.. Angelus did… I… sorry he repeated" red tears ran down his face.

Willow, lifted his chin in her hand, " I'know… it's hard for me too… I can't help hating Angelus… but " she stammered; " I know that you're my friend." She said softly.

Angel cried harder, > The men he was now felt great respect and reverence for this amazing women.

" I'll try and make it up to you somehow.." he stammered.

" You already have" she replied smiling.

" Hey where is Spike?"

" He's been a complete wreak, Willow he loves you so much… He's so happy about the baby. Buffy told me that he was so happy after knowing you both were OK he hugged her and Giles, and almost hugged Xander" Angel chuckled.

" Tell him I want to see him." Willow said.

" I'll find him."

When Angel entered the waiting room he saw Spike and the gang talking to Willow's doctor.
As he approached he heard the doctor say that Willow could go home tomorrow but that he wanted her to be on bed rest for at least two days and then go to her regular doctor for a check up. He explained that if she should be able to resume her regular routine and get on track with regular pre-natal visits. He resurred Spike that Willow should have a normal pregnancy, and deliver a healthy baby boy.
The doctor said that Willow really needed to get some rest and he suggested that they all go home.

Spike told the gang that he was going to hang out for a while and that he was then going to go to Willow's house and fix things up for her to come home tomorrow. Saber poked her head up from Spike's jacket pocket, from which she had been napping. " Oh look a kitty" Buffy cried.

Spike managed to catch her before she jumped down to create havoc in the hospital.

"Giles, do you think you could drive Willow home in the morning?" " Oh course" he replied.

Angel Buffy and Xander left. Spike stood outside Willow's room. He quietly opened the door and found Willow sleeping. He sat next to her and stared at her trying to drink in her beauty and warmth. He wanted to memorize every line and angle of her face. He caressed her silky hair and touched her soft creamy skin. I love you more than than anything Red. .. anything" He leaned forward and placed the softest kiss on her lips. Willow sighed. Spike left.

Spike entered Willow's house and went up to her room. He put Saber down and she immediately curled up on Willow's bed. Spike sat down at Willow's desk and began to compose a letter:

My Dearest Willow,

Words can not express the multitude of emotions I feel for you. I love you with ever fiber of my being. I would do anything for you. You have filled my heart both as a man and as a demon in ways that are I didn't think possible. You are my soul. I am overjoyed that you are carrying our son, I love him also and know that he could never have a better more loving person as a mother.

I hope you won't regret what it is I feel I have to do for both you and our child. I know this is the right thing to do. I am so sorry about any pain my actions may have caused you in the past or now. You are a bright beautiful woman who has her whole life a head of you. I can see you attending colleges and making a wonderful life for yourself and our child.

You deserve everything, I have nothing to offer you, only your freedom from me. I know how much Buffy, Xander, Giles, love you. Even the wanker Angel too. They can give you so much more than I ever can offer. I hope some day that you will meet someone and that you can be happy and loved the way that you deserve to be loved.

In my years, I have accumulated a great deal of money; I have authorized a transfer of my Swiss bank account to you. The account has half a million dollars. You and our child should be able to buy a nice home, and you can provide for both of you.

Saber has agreed to watch over you both.

Good by my dearest sweetest love forgive me. I will love you for an eternity.

Love William
 

Spike's red tears stained the letter. He sealed it in an envelope and sat it by Willow's bedside.
He picked up a discarded tee- shirt and held it to his face and inhaled her lavender and vanilla sent. He moaned in agony, and left dropping the shirt by her bedroom door.

Saber awoke and scampered up onto the nightstand in her rush to get to the closing French doors. Her back paws knocked the letter off the nightstand; the breeze from the closing door sent it fluttering under Willow's bed.

~~~~~~~
 
 

Spike left Sunnydale in his gray Oldsmobile. It was killing him to leave her behind. He knew it was for her own good. He needed not to be a selfish bastard and let her and the babies have the kind of life they deserved. He turned on the radio:

Sarah McLachlan began to sing:

"Hold on, Hold on to yourself
Cause this is going to hurt like hell

Hold on Hold on your self
You know that only time will tell

What is it in me that refuses to believe This isn't easy than the real thing

My love, you know that you're my best friend You know that I'd do anything, for you

My love let nothing come between us
My love for you is strong and true
Am I in heaven here or am I in hell?

At the crossroads I am standing,
Now you're sleeping peaceful

I lie away and pray
That you'll be strong tomorrow
When we see another day
You will praise it.

And like the light that brings a smile across your face

God if your out there won't you hear me I know that we never talked before
Oh God, I'm leaving the women I love
Take her, when she comes to your door

Am I in heaven here or am I in hell
At the crossroads, I am standing

Now you sleep peaceful, I'll lie awake and pray that you'll be strong tomorrow You will see another day.
Now you're sleeping peaceful."
 

Spike had to pull the car over; he couldn't drive because his tears blurred his eyes.

Buffy, Xander and Giles were at the hospital to pick up Willow at eight a.m.

Willow was eating breakfast and gave them a big smile. " Hey guys, Where's Spike?"

" Isn't he here with you?" Buffy asked.

" No I haven't seen him." Buffy said, " Last night he asked Giles to take you home, He said he was going to get things ready for you, maybe a romantic surprise?"

Willow smiles hopefully.

Buffy walked towards Willow, and handed her a bag with clean clothes. " I grabbed these things from my closet I thought you might want to wear something clean home."

" Guys, why don't you find a doc, so we can spring her from this joint, eh .. I'll help Willow dress." Buffy ordered.

Willow pulled out a short black skirt and a low cut blouse with a gauze overlay.
" Buffy, I can't wear this!" she said in panic.

" Come on Will you were always a size smaller than me in pants, so now even though you're not showing.. I'm sure it will fit great. and the top well your breast do look a bit bigger Will got admit so .. show off while you can girl."

" Buffy, I've been stuck in 1869 for about 5 months, I've been wearing long skirts.. to go to this.

" I bettcha Spike would like to see the sexier side of Will." Buffy teased.

"Give me the skirt" Willow said blushing.

Willow and Buffy came out of the hospital room fifteen minutes later.

Xander, stared at his best bud and managed to stutter, " New look, gotta say looks good on you"

Giles also noted Willow's long bare legs, low cut blouse which was showing a consider amount of Willow cleavage. 

" I'll get the wheelchair and your release papers." Giles offered.

The gang followed Willow into the house.

" Spike" "Spike" Willow called looking around downstairs.

" Maybe, he waiting for you upstairs Will." Buffy winked slyly.

" Well she just got out of the hospital so he better give it a rest" Xander snapped.

" I'll be right back, Guy's help yourself to some soda's" Willow said scampering up the stairs.

Willow opened her door and smelled an unpleasant but familiar smell. " Saber" she chided as the cat scampered over and curled around her legs. Willow spied Saber's welcome home present next to a pair of her favorite sandals.

Willow returned downstairs, " No sign of him." " I wonder where he could be?"

" Don't worry Will the undead keep popping up again and again on the hellmouth." Xander cracked.

" Guy's you don't think he an Angel got in a fight or something.. or Aaron.. or." Willow babbled in concern.

" Calm down Will, I'm sure he's fine" Buffy assured her friend. 

" Maybe, Angel know where he is.. Can we go over to the mansion? " Willow asked.

" Willow I'm sure Spike is fine, he's very good at taking care of himself. Why don't you drop me off at the library and take my car." Giles offered.

Willow hugged Giles, " Thanks"

Xander, Willow, and Buffy knocked on the mansion door. " Count Deadboy probably just went to bed"
joked Xander. Willow smacked him playfully.

A shirtless, Angel opened the door. " Willow" he said his eyes noting her overabundant cleavage.

"Come in " he moved away from the door and invited them all in."

" It good to see you.. looking so.. well" Angel commented.

" Have you seen Spike?" Willow blurted out.

" No" Angel looked puzzled, " Why?"

" It seems Blondie's taken a powder." Xander said.

" Xander" Buffy smacked him hard in the solar plexus.

"Oofh" " That hurt" he whispered.

" I think something bad happened to him. Why isn't he here with me?" Willow spoke aloud.

" I'm sure he's fine, when I saw him last night he was so upset about you Willow," Angel explained touching her shoulder.

Angel got a sick feeling. 

" Willow, I know how much Spike loves you, you should have seen him last night… I think he just needed a little time to sort things out." Angel said softly.

" Sort what things out?" she asked feeling frightened.

" Uhm.." Angel didn't know what to say he looked at Buffy her eye downcast and a smiling Xander.

" Yeah, he needs space… I know he just needs to get used to the idea that I'm having a baby and he's worried he going to be stuck with us…. cramping his style… and I'm going to blow up like an elephant and my breasts are going to start to sag … and he's run back to his beautiful Druscilla." Willow ranted and started to cry.

" Hey, Hey, that is so not true… You are more gorgeous than ever and Spike loves you" Angel said pulling Willow into his embrace.

Buffy at that moment knew she should feel bad for her best friends but she couldn't help feel a bit jealous as her boyfriend was gushing about how gorgeous Willow was and holding her in his arms. 

Xander suddenly felt bad.
 

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