ROSE IN A CONCRETE WORLD #1
 

Her hips swayed to the beat like a flag swinging and bending to the hypnoti=
c rhythm of a summer breeze. Her gaze was focused on nothing and everything=
. In her head, everything, that is. Her thoughts were running circles in he=

r brain, the crazy twists and turns of her life flexed and curved with all =
the tumultuous times she had been through. She shook her head slightly, tur=
ning away from the stage.

Willow took a seat on a high stool, setting her drink down in front of her.=
Her foot tapped unconsciously to the beat pulsating through the Bronze. Sh=
e was so wrapped up in her thoughts that if hadn't been for the coolness of=
the flesh, she wouldn't have felt the tap on her shoulder.

His eyes were like that tiny patch of blue sky on a cloudy, dreary day. Tha=
t little break of crystal clarity had gotten her through the rainstorms tha=
t had plagued her weather forecast of a life the last few months. Now she w=
as finally ready to move on.

Leave Sunnydale. Willow frowned behind her greeting smile to him. She knew =
she had to but she didn't want to. All she could think was of the things he=
r grandmother had told her when she was a little girl, about how you don't =
always get what you want. And how sometimes you have to do things you don't=
want to do. For the greater good. Maybe this was for the greater good. May=
be it wasn't. She was so backwards now, she didn't know which way was yeste=
rday and which way was tomorrow. It seemed whenever she got her tomorrows i=
n line, her yesterdays sneaked up and became today all over again.

But he had been there to help her deal and she loved him for that. She just=
didn't think she loved him the way she should. The way he wanted her to. A=
nd that just added to the stack of problems she had piled up in the 'In' bo=
x, which was far more full than the 'Out' box.

Willow sighed.

"What's wrong, pet?" He asked gently, breaking her from her quibbling thoug=
hts.

"Thinkin'."

"Anything important?"

Majorly. "No."

"Sure, love?"

No. "Yes."

"Drink?"

She nodded to the half finished pop twist in front of her. He pointed to th=
e bar behind him and turned to get his own beverage. Willow sagged when his=
back had been turned to her.

Come on, Will. She urged herself. Let's go. We can do this. Nice and easy. =
Gentle. We'll break his heart quickly, but virtually painlessly, we'll be c=
aring and heartfelt. Okay, here he comes. Be as kind as possible--

"I'm leaving Sunnydale." She blurted out when he had returned.

That's 'as kind as possible'?

Spike set his drink on the table, reached for a stool and sat down. His eye=
s never left hers. His emotions didn't shift or change as he studied her, p=
ossibly trying to reveal whether she was serious or not.

"When?" He asked simply.

"When?" She repeated.

"Yeah, when are you leaving?"

"Wow. Not exactly the reaction I was expecting."

"Does Buffy know? Xander? Giles?"

"No. I wanted to tell you first. But since you're so heartbroken, I guess I=
'll just go tell the others now."

"Relax, pet." He reached under the table and set a hand on her knee. "What =
do you want me to say?"

"How about - why? Oh, Will, we need you, don't go. Please."

"I could say those things but would they really change your mind?" Spike as=
ked pointedly.

She hesitated.

"Thought so." He answered for her. "So when are you going?"

"Don't you want to know why?"

"I know why. You're running away. And don't think I'm happy about it. I'm n=
ot. I never would be. I remember when you told me about Buffy running off t=
o Los Angeles after she sent Angel to hell. You said it with such pity and =
feeling. I knew you would never do that. I guess I was wrong."

"Buffy lost the love of her life."

"Exactly."

"So did I."

"You didn't have to watch him get sucked into hell. He's only not around be=
cause you caught him sniffing under some other wolf's tail."

"That was harsh."

"So is life."

"What are you, Unfeeling Spike now?"

"You know how I feel about you."

"Then why are you comparing me to Buffy? You USED to hate Buffy."

"Used to. She's not my favorite person on Earth but right now she's got mor=
e guts than you do."

"How can you even say that?"

"Look what she's dealt with and then look at what you've dealt with. It's n=
othing right, Willow? You're giving up. I love the strong, bold, beautiful =
Willow. Not the quitter. So if this one wants to leave, fine with me. Call =
me when the old Willow steps back into the picture, grabs hold of her life =
and gets things together."

They stared at each other for several moments. Willow stood, picked up her =
jacket and left.=20
 

------
 

"Hold on." Buffy called, answering her sigh and the knock on the door at th=
e same time. She paused before twisting the knob. "Who is it?"

"Let me in, Slayer." Spike barked.

"Okay, okay. Come in." She opened the door and he pushed past her, falling =
into a pace back and forth across the carpet.

"She's not here?"

"Who?"

"Who else?"

"Willow?"

"Very insightful, Slayer. How many other females do you live with?"

Buffy was irritated. She shut the door and crossed back to her bed, tucking=
her knees up and glaring at him.

"God, what crawled up your butt and procreated?"

"Did she tell you?" Spike asked abruptly.

"Tell me what? Since when are you so cryptic?"

"I met Willow at the Bronze. She said she's leaving Sunnydale."

"Leaving? Where's she going?"

"I don't know. She stormed out."

"What did you say to her?"

Spike fell back on Willow's bed, his head in his hands. He shook an I-don't=
-know to her and rubbed his fists into his eyes tiredly.

"I told her she was a quitter. That she was running away from her problems =
instead of dealing with them."

"Well, I honestly don't think you could have handled it with any more compa=
ssion than you did, Spike." Buffy said with stinging sarcasm. She stood, ch=
anged her mind and sat down again.

"Why is she leaving? Really?"
 

"I told her I loved her."

"You what? When?"

Spike raised his downcast eyes to look her straight on. "I told her I loved=
her." He repeated.

"Did you mean it?"

"Yes. No. Maybe."

"Did you? Come on, Spike. We haven't always gotten along but we're on the s=
ame level, now. Give it to me straight. Did you mean it or not?"

"Yes."

"And now you think that she might be running away because of that?"

"I think she wants to leave all her problems behind - start all over again.=
But what she doesn't realize is that it's impossible. You can't. No matter=
where you are, who you're with, who you are or who you think you are, you =
can't shake the pain, it's always there."

"How do you know?"

"I've lived a lot of years and have moved a lot of places and changed mysel=
f a lot of times but I still have the pain."

"A lot?"

"A lot. She's strong but she's not that strong."

"What's the plan?"

"Talk to her?"

"You think that'll work?" Buffy asked, realizing right away how false the o=
ptimism in her voice sounded.

"Not really."

"But we can try, right?"

"Sure. But first-"

"What?"

"That top, Slayer. It's hideous."

Buffy's eyes sorted him out dryly. "Do you want to be a superhero or a fash=
ion queen, Spike? Pick one, you can't have both."
 

-----
 

"Do you really think Giles is the person to go to? I mean, sure, good with =
the booky demon lookup but not so hot on the Dear Abby-ness."

"Do you have any better id--" Spike stopped abruptly in his annoyance; he f=
roze, looking around in the darkness.

"What?" Buffy asked, pausing at his side.

"Do you feel that?"

"I felt your hand on my leg earlier, which by the way, you will most defini=
tely be punched for later..."

"No. Evilly goodness." He said with a small grin. "I sense evil."

Buffy tried to hone her Slayer senses in but felt nothing out of the ordina=
ry.

"I think you sense yourself, Mister Evilly Badness. Let's go."

Spike stood for a second, searching for the source of his uneasiness. He ga=
ve up and followed her, carelessly missing the disruption of the shadows be=
hind them.

The figure lurking behind them.

ROSE IN A CONCRETE WORLD #2
 

Willow fumbled in her pocket for her keys, juggling her books and jacket be=
tween her arms. The keys, rung together by a shiny, silver, star-shaped rin=
g, given to her as a Hanukkah present from Buffy, fell to the floor in fron=
t of her.=20

"Damnit." She cursed, bending over to retrieve the fallen keys.=20

As she straightened, she noticed a series of digs and grooves in the wood s=
urrounding the doorknob.=20

The ridges Willow ran her fingers through looked like a knife of some sorts=
made them but she knew better than to assume it to be something so simple.=
It never was. Thoughts of demons with long, sharp claws and vampire animal=
s with hungry teeth gnawing at the door slid into her imagination. She dism=
issed the thoughts with a shake of her head realizing that she was starting=
to let her ideas get the best of her.=20

"Guess we have beavers." Willow murmured with a sigh before righting hersel=
f, glancing both ways down the empty hallway and entering the dorm room she=
shared with Buffy.=20

Inside, Willow dropped her stack of books on her desk, draping her jacket o=
ver a chair. She raised her arms over her head, entwining her fingers toget=
her and stretching tightly. She lowered her fingertips to her neck, kneadin=
g the knotted muscles in her upper back, her eyes closed. Willow turned awa=
y from the door, using the side of her foot to kick it closed.=20

Willow turned away from the door, using the side of her foot to kick it clo=
sed. She reached to turn on the radio, opening the closet at the same time.=
=20

She hummed along with the music, not noticing the click of the closing door=
that never came. Three fingers, then four, five, caught it, pushed it open=
slowly and entered the room.=20

Willow sang along with the music.=20

"See I haven't danced to a musical tune,=20
And I haven't noticed the flowers in bloom.=20
I haven't smiled,=20
When alone in my room very much."=20
 

-----=20
 

"So, you're saying that Willow is just picking up and leaving Sunnydale? Fo=
r no apparent reason?"=20

"Spike scared her away." Buffy said accusingly, pointing at him childishly.=
=20

"Shut up, Slayer. I did not." He shot back with equal infancy.=20

"Spike?" Giles asked slowly. "Did you do something to Willow?"=20

"He told her he loved her." Buffy explained. "And now she's running away."=
=20

Spike glowered at her. "Thanks, Sex-a-lot. I'll remember that next time you=
run off to see Angel without telling Riley."=20

Buffy's eyes narrowed. "At least I didn't tell someone I loved them, theref=
ore causing them so much shock and concern they felt they needed to flee th=
e city without thinking the guy was worthy enough for their best friend to =
even know about it." She spat out at him in one breath.=20

His comeback caught in his throat and he just stared at her for several mom=
ents. "That's hitting below the belt, Slayer. Next time you down there, you=
're going to start sucking."=20

"Enough!" Giles admonished. "I want no more of this from the both of you. I=
insist that you two try to be civil and homicide-free until we figure this=
out. Willow is a valuable, ah, asset to our team and a good friend as well=
. Losing her would be certainly, well, unpleasant."=20
 

"A no go with Willow leaving on a jet plane. I get it." Buffy nodded though=
tfully, stealing her glare away from Spike. "But what do we do?"=20
 

-----=20
 

"Ooh, how about this? Lots of money, expensive car, traveling, and a maroon=
blazer with an emblem on it."=20

"An," Xander complained, looking up from his half of the classifieds, "that=
would be a real estate agent. You have to go to, like, real estate agent s=
chool or something."=20

"Like dentist school?" Anya asked.=20

"Yeah. Except less molars and cuspids and more roofs and leaky basements an=
d waterfront properties."=20

"Well, you have to do something." She said matter-of-factly. "I mean, you c=
an't go to college."=20

Xander looked as if an idea sprinted up and smacked him on the side of the =
head.=20

"Why not?" He asked suddenly.=20

"'Why not', what?"=20

Xander threw down his newspaper.=20

"Why can't I go to college? Sure, I had a few issues in high school with gr=
ades--"=20

"As in, not being able to get passing ones..."=20

"And I was a little distracted--"=20

"First with Buffy, then with Cordelia, then with Willow, then with Willow a=
nd Cordelia, then with Cordelia..."=20

"But I have some very competitive skills--"=20

"Like digging holes, poking sticks into hot dogs, and scooping ice cream...=
"=20

"And I'm a kind, caring person--"=20

"Who threatened an innocent Starbucks customer when they said you had the m=
ental equivalency of a half-eaten scone..."=20

Xander nodded his head and smiled.=20

"Yep. Nothing holding me down now."=20

Anya rolled her eyes.=20
 

-----=20
 

"Where did he go?" Han questioned the stoic guard in his broken English. He=
hated dealing with Americans.=20

"Go, sir?"=20

"Go! You fool. Where did he go?"=20

"Sir, as far as I know, he has never left."=20

Han fumed. "Open the door."=20

"But, sir--" The man protested.=20

"Now."=20

The guard stumbled with the large key ring, flipping through the keys quick=
ly. Three tries got the key in the door and unlocked. It creaked open two i=
nches. Han peered inside the room carefully, his eyes scanning the room.=20

Han slammed the door all the way open with an angry roar of strength.=20

"He's gone!" Han bellowed, enraged.=20

"B-b-but I was here. How did he--"=20

"Shut up. Call all the guards. Have them look everywhere."=20

Han turned and strode away as the shaking guard hit the alert lever and sen=
t the entire compound into a cloud of red, flashing lights and blaring sire=
ns.=20

ROSE IN A CONCRETE WORLD #3
 

They twisted and bent in her hands, the green coming off on her fingers as =
she clutched the joined stems tightly in her fist. She walked with her head=
raised, lip bit, and back straight. She looked as if she were marching int=
o battle.

But as she walked through the cemetery, Willow could only think about the b=
attle that had already taken place. The one that had taken so many lives, s=
o many growing flowers that didn't deserve to picked before they could bloo=
m.

Usually when she came to the graves, she sat and stared at them. Hoping the=
bird with the black wings from the movie would come and land on their ston=
es and awaken them but she knew they were resting peacefully, they had no r=
evenge to seek. They left the world and entered the stars bravely with thei=
r heads held high. She was usually so proud.

But tonight she was just angry. Angry with herself. Angry with her friends.=
Angry with Spike. Angry with love. And everyone knows that being angry wit=
h love is the worst kind of rage in the world.

Willow looked down at the graves. She dropped the flowers on the one closet=
to her. The petals covered the last name and most of the first on one of t=
he stones. All she could see was a T, an A, and an R.
 

=B7=B7=B7=B7=B7
 

"This is completely ridiculous. I can't believe we're going through Willow'=
s stuff."

"What? You never took a peep in Angel's underwear drawer?"

Buffy looked away, "hedsnvrrrmhp," she mumbled inaudibly.

Spike leaned in, "what was that, Slayer?"

She sighed. "He doesn't wear underwear. At least he didn't when I was aroun=
d."

He laughed. "Shoulda figured."

"Like you don't know."

"Only hurting yourself there, baby."

"Let's just get back to the search and rescue, shall we?"

They continued rifling through Willow's drawers until Spike unearthed somet=
hing under a stack of Wicca books.

"Well, well, well. Slap me on the back and call me Jack because I've hit th=
e jackpot."

Buffy stared at him. "What the hell did you just say?"

"I-I, uh, found something. Looks like a diary or something."

"I didn't know Will kept a diary."

"It might be old." Spike glanced at the door before snapping the lock open =
on the journal. A tidal wave of perfectly folded notes came rushing out int=
o his lap. They all had Willow's name, in Oz' handwriting, written on them.=
"Then again, I'm usually wrong."

"Love letters? Oz wrote love letters? I never thought of him as the love-le=
tter-writing-type. Actually, I don't think I ever saw him write."

"Hey, hey. This is dated in the fall. It's you and your girlie mate's first=
day of university. 'Buffy and I met Riley in the school bookstore today. V=
ery cute but Buffy will probably get him. She always does.'" Spike raised a=
n eyebrow at her.

Buffy tried to cast away the remark, not wanting to think about it. "You ca=
n read?" She asked.

"Funny, Slayer."

"Also cutting and witty."

"I think that blonde dye is starting to sink in."

"Hey! I'm natural."

"As natural as a purple zebra."

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Go to hell."

"Already have my ticket."

"Need me to see you off?"

"Not if you do it the same way you did to Angel."

"Cross the line much?"

"Like you've never."

The two stared at each other.

"What's the most recent one?"

Spike flipped to the back of the diary. "Just a few hours. Looks like she w=
as in a hurry. '6:42 PM - Kai told me. He told me everything. He told me ho=
w special I am. What I must do. What I must seek.'"

Buffy's forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Who's Kai? What did he tell her?"

"I don't know."
 

=B7=B7=B7=B7=B7
 

"Xander?" Willow called, taking the basement stairs slowly. She peered into=
the room. "Xander? You here?"

"Yeah, Will?"

"Can I come down?"

"Sure. Just wipe your feet on that pile of dirt over there."

Xander reached up to flick the light switch on and peered at the clock by h=
is bed. "What's up?"

"Talk?"

"Talk is doable. Just plop yourself on the slab of love over here."

Willow froze. "What?"

"I meant the bed, you nasty girl."

She smiled uncomfortably. "Kay."

"So, what's up? Got problems?"

"Sort of-- Where's Anya?" She asked, looking around.

"She left awhile. She had some issues about my decision."

"What decision?"

"Later. I'm still working out the kinks."

Willow nodded. "Okay. Well, I kind of have a problem. Something happened ea=
rlier."

"Happened?"

"I lost time."

"You lost time? I didn't know you were keeping it. Slipperly little devil, =
isn't it?"

"No, you don't understand. I actually lost time. Five minutes of my life is=
gone."

"Cliff's Notes version?"

"I looked at my watch at 6:42 PM and I got this weird flashy feeling and th=
en all of a sudden it was 6:47 and I don't know what happened."

"Did you fall asleep?"

"No I didn't move."

Xander looked thoughtful for several moments.

"6:42 PM?"

"6:42 PM."
 

next

back