Summary: Willow and Spike finally talk about what their relationship entails.
Distribution: NHA, WLS, redssoulmates, SoG, Breathe, and anyone else I've given permission to in the past. Anyone else, please ask.
Author's notes: This story is the final in the In the In-Between series. It takes place shortly after Something Blue in the 4th season. ((SPOILERS would obviously be up to that episode.)) Please remember that it is AU ... Willow and Spike's relationship was altered from the canon portrayal because they met during Willow's junior year.
Also, please note before you read this that I am aware that Spike is being too nice. This is how my muses wanted this story written and their minds would not be changed. :)
Feedback: Yes, please. It makes me all happy-like.
Thanks to my betas, LaDy SiN and Sophia.
Dedicated, as the three stories before it, to Gabrielle. She knows why.
Enjoy!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Giles paused at the door and turned back to Willow. "You're sure you will be okay?"
Willow nodded. "I'll be fine, Giles. Go, have fun."
He smiled saying, "If you're sure."
Willow returned his smile and nodded once more, waving as he walked out of the apartment. She turned and tried to ignore the sight of Spike tied to the chair a few feet away, trying to ignore the way seeing him like that made her feel. 'I just want to go over there and untie him ... but I know I can't. He would just leave and I'd get in trouble, and after that spell fiasco... I can't risk it,' she thought as she picked up her backpack and pulled out her homework.
She opened her psychology text book and began to read, wondering if Spike noticed the way her breath seemed to catch in her throat when she looked at him. 'Goddess, I hope not. I'm uncomfortable enough around him as it is...' she thought as she tried to concentrate on the words in front of her.
Spike stared at the redhead in front of him. "Alone again, pet," he said, gaining her attention.
"Yeah," Willow said not looking up from her book.
"You seem better now," Spike said, trying to get her attention away from her homework.
Willow lifted her eyes, meeting his. "You care?" she asked.
"You always ask me that."
"I'm never sure. You care?"
He nodded. "Sure."
Willow licked her lips and considered her words. "I'm better, I guess. Having that D'Hoffryn guy kidnap me was scary. I think he scared all the Oz out of my system."
Spike rolled his eyes with a smirk. "'Bout bloody time, too, pet."
Willow bit her lip. "Are you still mad at me?"
"For what?"
"Having to kiss Buffy."
"Oh, that."
Willow nodded. "Are you?"
"Nah," Spike said. "Was never really mad at you. Knew you were hurting."
Willow got up and moved closer to him. "I was. He hurt me bad. No one seems to understand how much."
Spike's blue eyes held her gaze. "I do, luv."
Willow was quiet for a minute before reaching out and touching Spike's hand. "I never thanked you for that."
"For what?" he asked.
"Understanding. And for making me feel better. You know, that night in my dorm room?"
Spike looked at her like she was crazy. "I tried to kill you. Several times."
Willow grinned, saying, "Well, yeah, but you said it wouldn't hurt."
Spike laughed. "There's that fire. Glad to see you're getting it back, finally."
Willow nodded. "I'm trying. Wait, what fire?"
"You still don't get it, do you?" Spike asked, surprised.
"Get what?"
"How special you are."
Willow shook her head. "I'm not."
Spike stared at her, seeing the doubt in her eyes. "Yes, you are. You are, as I've told you before, quite the human."
Willow stared at Spike. "Thank you for saying that, but it's okay. You don't have to lie to me anymore, I'm not going to be doing any more spells like before. You're safe."
Spike sighed, wishing he could find the words to convince her that she was special. "Untie me."
"No."
"Untie me, pet. I can't hurt you. You know that."
Willow nodded. "You can't hurt me, but you'll leave. Escape."
"I won't." Spike said.
"I can't--"
"Red," Spike said, interrupting her. "I won't leave unless you say I can. I won't get you in trouble with your friends."
Willow stared at him a moment longer before shaking her head. "I can't, Spike, I'm sorry. It's not that I don't believe you ... I trust you, even though I know I shouldn't. But if they found out they wouldn't understand. And ..." her voice trailed off.
"And they'd stop trusting you," Spike finished, his voice soft.
"They already don't trust me ... ever since that spell. I know they don't mean to do it, but they really don't trust me right now, Spike. Letting you go would make it worse."
Spike closed his eyes, angry that she felt such loyalty to friends who didn't respect her as they should. "Go back to your book," he said harshly, dismissing her.
His tone hurt, but Willow understood. She nodded and did as he asked. Spike watched her silently as she read through her assignment. It wasn't until he smelled salt on the air that he realized she was crying. "Pet," he said.
She didn't look up, but her shoulders started to shake. "I'm sorry," she said, her voice small. "I'm sorry."
Spike could tell that she was about to draw into herself once more, about to shut the world out again, just as she'd done so many times over the weeks since Oz had left. He instantly regretted the tone he'd taken with her. "Red, untie me. Please?"
She started sobbing then, her text book falling to the floor. Spike struggled against his bonds, listening to her cry. As she began to sob in earnest, Spike gritted his teeth "Oh, sod it all!" he exclaimed.
He vamped out, allowing his demon to the surface. Easily, he broke the chair into pieces by throwing his weight backwards and kicking his legs out as it hit the floor. He shimmied his way out of the ropes and got up. "Red, look at me."
She began to cry even harder and Spike was at her side within an instant. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her head to his shoulder and Willow clung to him as she cried. Slowly, her tears subsided and Willow finally realized she was in Spike's arms. "You got out of the chair."
Spike chuckled. "I had motivation. You okay now?"
"I'm sorry."
"You've said that," Spike said. "What's this about?"
"It's just that you have, oddly enough, been the only person to never once lie to me or humor me with false concern. Ever since the night we met you've treated me like an adult. And how do I repay you? I leave you tied to the damn chair."
Spike stared at her, his mouth slightly open. "You were crying because you thought you hurt my feelings?"
"I made you mad."
"Red..."
"And I know that you're about to say that I didn't, Spike," Willow said. "And that's why I was crying. Because you just don't understand. Do you?"
Spike had to admit he was confused. "What the hell, pet? What are you going on about?"
Willow took an exasperated breath and exhaled slowly. She closed her eyes and concentrated, trying to calm her raging hormones and repressed emotions down. 'It's time to tell him, there's no getting around it,' she thought as she opened her eyes. Spike stared back at her, concern and confusion evident on his face.
"What am I going on about?" Willow asked, her emotions getting the better of her. "Me and you. I may, as you say, not understand how wonderful I am, but it's you who doesn't understand that you're one of the only people to notice. And you're as blind as I am when it comes to seeing some things."
"Are you mad at me now?" Spike asked, taken slightly aback by her fiery words.
Willow shook her head. "Do you know, Spike? Have you ever noticed?"
"Noticed what? I'm still not sure what we're talking about." Spike said, annoyance beginning to take over his emotions.
"Have you ever noticed how ... un-Willow-like I become when I'm around you?" she asked.
Spike tilted his head in question. "You do?"
Willow nodded. "Example: do you ever hear me mouth off to any other Master Vampire? Or to any of my friends?"
Spike looked into her eyes and saw the passion they held. His mild annoyance melted away and he took a deep, unneeded breath. "What are you saying, Red?"
Willow sighed, trying to find the right words. "You remember that night in the park? When we met?"
Spike nodded. "Yeah."
"When you left, it took all of my strength not to run after you and beg you to take me with you. And last year? I would have worked that spell without question if you'd just asked me."
Spike stared at her, shocked. Willow reached out and traced a line down his arm. "Do you know what happened that night in the factory after you left? Between me and Xander?"
Spike nodded. "I've figured it out. You and the Whelp made with the kissing."
Willow nodded. "Yeah. And then Oz and I broke up. But then we got back together. And it wasn't like I didn't love Oz, because I did."
"What's your point, pet?"
Willow met his eyes and Spike saw a calm confidence he'd rarely ever seen in her before. "You kissed me that night at the factory, too."
"Yeah."
"It's your kiss, Spike, that I've thought about since that night in the factory ... your kiss that I've compared all other kisses to. And, it's been your kiss that I've tasted since that night in my dorm room. Whiskey, smoke, and leather ... that's what you taste like."
"Pet ..." Spike said softly, finally realizing what Willow was saying. His arousal growing at the passion he heard in her words, he wondered if she realized that her eyes were closed and her breath was now coming in pants. Watching her relive the memories was more than enough to convince Spike that she was serious, telling him the truth.
"I know that you'll never want me like that. I know I'm just a meal to you." Willow said. "But, in my darkest nights, the thing that has kept me going ... the thought that you might someday possibly want me ... that's kept me from throwing myself at the nearest vampire lair in hopes that they'd kill me quickly."
"Red, I-"
"And that's why I was crying, Spike." Willow said, not letting Spike speak. "Because the first chance I get to show you how I feel and I tell you no."
Spike pulled her to him in a fierce kiss. Willow, overwhelmed by the fact that she was once again in Spike's arms, wrapped her arms around him and returned the kiss, Spike holding her tight. "Red, if I thought of you only as a meal you would have died that night in the park," he murmured against her lips.
Willow pulled away. "What?"
Spike cupped her face in his hands. "How can you, after all this time, think that I don't want you?"
"But..."
He put a finger to her lips. "It's my turn to talk now."
Willow nodded and Spike continued, looking into her eyes. "I'll have you now."
"What?" Willow asked.
Spike suddenly kissed her again, surprising Willow. He broke away and held her face in his hands. "I told you before ... when I decide to have you, I'll have you. And I want you, Red. I want you now."
This time when Spike kissed her, Willow kissed him back with passion like never before. Spike groaned into the kiss and slid his tongue into her willing mouth. "Willow..." he said as she pulled away, breathless.
She stared at him. "Say that again."
"Willow."
"I love the way my name sounds when you say it."
Spike smiled. "Can I have you, Willow?"
Willow smiled back, saying, "You already do, Spike."
He pulled her to him then and began to kiss her again. Willow kissed him back and they lost themselves in the other's touch. Time slipped away and nothing mattered but the two of them. Spike leaned her back onto the couch and trailed kisses down her neck, his hands roaming freely over her body. He could smell her arousal and the evidence of his was pressing urgently through his jeans. He made quick work of unbuttoning her shirt, his hands cupping the delicate skin of her breasts. "So beautiful," he said.
Willow moaned as his fingers stroked her nipples through the material of her bra. She reached out and pulled at the hem of Spike's shirt. "Wanna touch you."
Spike groaned and quickly removed his shirt. Willow's eyes widened at the sight of his bare, muscular chest and she reached out to stroke him. Her eyes filled with desire, she lowered her hands and began unbuttoning his jeans, carefully freeing his erection. Spike growled and snatched her hand away, quickly removing the remainder of her clothing. He slipped a finger inside of her, testing her readiness. More than ready, Willow pulled Spike to her. "Please, Spike. I need you."
He kissed her and slipped inside her tight passage. They both cried out at the feeling and lost themselves in the pleasure of the moment. They made love on the couch, slowly and full of passion, each of them careful to provide the most pleasure possible for the other. Afterward, they lay together quietly, Spike whispering sweet nothings in her ear. Reluctantly looking at the clock, Spike sighed. "The Watcher will be home soon."
"I know," Willow said, getting up to pull on her underwear.
She smiled and pulled his shirt over her head. "Don't see mine. Didn't pay attention to where it landed."
Spike grinned as he pulled on his jeans. "Looks good on you."
She kissed him and he lowered her back down to the couch, holding her close. "Not going to let you go, Red."
"Good." Willow said.
"I mean it, Red. You're mine now. No matter what, no matter who disagrees. You're mine."
"I know," she said, curling herself closer to him. "And I'm glad. See, I've figured something out."
"What's that?" Spike asked.
"All of this stuff that's happened to me over the last few years? All of the stuff that's happened to you? It's all been ... a journey."
Spike regarded her slowly. "Going all New Age on me, luv?"
Willow rolled her eyes. "If that's how you want to look at it, sure. But, all I'm saying is that every thing that has happened to me since the night I met you in the park has been a journey to get me here. It's been in-between us. Does that make sense?"
"Does it make sense that we're here? That we're together?" Spike asked.
"That everything has led up to this moment..." Willow began.
"Since the night we met." Spike finished.
Willow smiled. "Yeah."
Spike pulled her to him, kissing her tenderly. Willow sighed contentedly and slipped her fingers into his hair, returning his kiss fully. Spike pulled away slowly and gazed into her eyes. "What I know, Red, is that I have been drawn to you since the moment I laid eyes on you. I knew right away that there was something about you that I couldn't live without. So, I suppose you could say that all of the things that have happened since were leading us here."
Willow grinned. "It was all in-between then and now."
Spike chuckled finally conceding her point. "Yeah, luv. That's what it was."
She kissed him again, and Spike lowered them down onto the couch. He lay on his back and Willow curled up beside him. "Promise you're not going to let me go?" Willow asked, her eyes heavy.
Spike smiled. "Not going to let you go, luv. Promise."
"Okay." Willow said, her eyes falling closed.
Spike heard her breathing deepen and her heartbeat become steady. He stroked her hair and Willow began to drift off to sleep. He smiled and wrapped his arms tighter around her. "Sleep sweet, Willow."
"'Night, Spike."
They both drifted to sleep and did not hear Giles come in an hour later. Spike woke only when he felt the two of them being covered up. He opened his eyes to find Giles standing above him. The Watcher nodded to the broken chair on the floor, obviously angry. Spike lifted his eye brows and managed a small shrug. "She was crying."
Giles nodded, his eyes still hard. "Comforted her, did you?"
Spike saw the unspoken threat in the other man's eyes and conceded, nodding his head. "I'll not hurt her."
"See that you don't," Giles said before moving to go upstairs.
Willow sighed in her sleep and Spike pulled her closer, kissing the top of her head. "Couldn't hurt her," the vampire whispered to the air. "It would kill me if I even tried. She's got me wrapped around her bloody finger."
***The End***