Rating: 13 and Older
Pairing: None yet...
Characters: Willow, Spike
Disclaimer: I own nothing and seek no profit from this story. No copyright infringement is intended.
Distribution: My LJ and the Emerald Illusions website and yahoo group, NHA, WLS, Redssoulmates, SnW, and any other list I post it to. Any archive that has gotten my premission to post my stories in the past can have it if they want it, all others please ask first.
Summary: After Willow hurts Dawn while high on magick, Buffy takes her home and promises that things will get better. Spike knows they won't.
Feedback: Yes, please. I'd love to know what you think of it.
Author's Notes: This is a bit different that what I usually write. What is in italics, is Willow's POV as she's "tripping." Oh, and yes, there is room for a sequel, though I'm not sure when it'll be written.
Thanks to Femailofthespecies for the beta!
Dedicated to Missy: this was her birthday fic. I'm just now getting around to posting to the groups at large. :)
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
...Fallen angels at my feet...
Buffy should have left me there. It's the only thing that would have helped, though she never would have thought of it. Giles would have, but Giles isn't here. Only Buffy, and she should have just kept walking. Kept going. She should have taken Dawnie to the hospital and left me on the ground. 'Cause I was almost at the bottom then. I could see it ... I was hovering above it, about to fall, but then she came back and helped me up.
She made it better, promised me things would get better. Well, at least she did after she got over being mad at me a little bit. Her voice sounded funny ... all tight and tense. Just like a mother. A Mommy. Are you my Mother, Buffy? Would you be ashamed if you could see me now?
I'm floating on clouds, far away from all my trouble. Far away from the Hellmouth and all the evil you dragged me into. I never asked for this. You thrust it on me. Asked me for help catching up with your school work. Made me feel like we could be friends.
Some friend you turned out to be.
Some friend I turned out to be.
I'll tell you all this someday. Just wait and see.
Right now, I'm gonna float.
~~~
He had followed her. It had been so easy. Entirely too easy, considering she knew all about the things that went creeping and crawling though the night. Spike, had he not had the stupid chip in his head, would have been able to kill her before she even knew he was there. It made the little bit of respect he still had for her slip a few more notches, and he had followed in silence.
Stalking behind her, he'd quickly figured out that his assumption, that she was going to Rack, had been correct. He growled as she walked into the warlock's residence and lit a cigarette, debating his next move.
He took a long, slow drag before crushing the butt under his boot as he walked toward the invisible door he'd seen Willow go in. He couldn't see it, but he knew it was there. His senses told him exactly where it was. Pushing through, he discovered that Rack's place was not a home. He could go right in. Spike didn't even look at the people waiting in the front room as he followed Willow's scent to a room in the back. He merely walked past them, completely ignoring their protests. Willow was already tripping when he walked into the room.
The vampire's cold blue eyes cut to Rack. "Idiot."
"I give her what she wants," he shrugged. "What she needs."
"And when you've given her all you can? When she's so addicted to that feeling she's feeling now that she can't go without it? Who is going to give her a hit then?"
"Don't care."
Spike shook his head. "She'll kill you in the end. Just to get a jolt, she'll kill you."
Rack smirked. "Yeah, but what a way to go."
~~~
They don't understand. Buffy, Xander, even Tara. They don't understand. They couldn't. They don't know what it's like, haven't felt it. They didn't bring a hellgod to her knees. They didn't raise the dead. I did all the work. They could never understand what it's like to have this much power.
Ever.
Buffy wants to help me. Said she'd help me. Help me? I don't need her help. I don't need her. Or any of the rest of them. I just need me. Magick and me. Me and magick. Hmmm. I wonder if there's a spell that could make magick a person? Something solid that could be a real friend to me?
'Cause no one else is a real friend. Not anymore. No one.
They don't know me, don't accept me, and I do not need their judgment. I have everything I need. Magick. Magick and Rack. I'm giggling now, the power flowing through me, the spell running it's course. Magick, me, and Rack. I should put that on a t-shirt.
Goddess, the clouds are pretty.
~~~
'What a way to go?' Spike thought. 'The bloke knows she'll kill him in the end, drain him of life to get what she needs, and he doesn't give a damn? Deserves to die, this one.'
He didn't even bother replying to Rack's suicidal statement. He just sat down on a couch and waited. He watched Willow, her eyelids fluttering, and wondered how they hadn't seen the person she'd become until she'd almost killed Dawn. He should have seen it. He should have known. Spike had been around dark magick users before. Dru liked to play with them. He knew the signs. He'd just been too ... distracted.
Maybe that was Buffy's excuse, too. And Xander's. But Anya ... now that was a person who Spike was absolutely positive should have realized what was going on with Willow. She lived through it herself, ended up a demon. 'The whole lot of us should have been paying more attention,' Spike thought, running out of excuses. 'Almost paid for it with Bit's life.'
And that is what made Spike care. His demon had long considered Dawn his own. She was his. His Nibblet. Willow, on the other hand, was not. It wasn't that he'd never liked her. She had, at one time, been a favorite person of his to torment. But now ... now she was nothing but a power hungry junkie who hurt the people around her.
Hurt Dawn.
It was time for Willow to realize how protective Spike could be if properly motivated. And, as the vampire sat, watching her trip, he couldn't help but think that a lesson in proper behavior was long overdue. The witch needed to be put back in her place.
Simple as that.
~~~
Falling. I'm falling. Going down, down, down. It's like a bird without wings, falling. But I'll never hit the ground. The clouds won't let me. They'll always be her to catch me. Forever.
Like magick.
Nothing is real anymore. Not here. Nothing makes sense.
And it doesn't have to, because ... for the first time in my life I know who I am. Now, I've just got to let go. I have nothing left to do but fall.
The End