There was a knock at the door. Willow started to call out an
invitation, then remembered she wasn't living in a public dorm anymore
and corrected herself. "Yeah?"

The door swung open to reveal Spike leaning casually against the
frame. "Spike! Uh, hi. Is there, um, something I can do for you?" This
wasn't the first time he'd been to her new apartment--Buffy had
somehow convinced her it was only fitting they force him to carry the
heavier book boxes when she'd moved in--but usually when he needed
something he went to the magic shop; greater chance of finding one of
the Scoobies that way.

But now he was just across the room, gazing at her with an intensity
that made her breath catch; when he spoke, it was in that low tone
that she somehow found both menacing and delicious. Entirely unfair.
"More like something I can do for *you*."

"Wh-what?"

He began stalking slowly towards her, the door swinging shut behind
him. "I seem to recall having made you a promise, ducks. I know it's
been a while, but I can finally follow through. I hope you didn't
think I'd forgot."

"Um...forgot what?" Her mind scrambled to recall any promises he might
have made her, but all she could come up with were threats.

"Now, Willow," he said, sitting next to her, "don't tell me you don't
remember that night in your room."

She wanted to scoot away, but there really wasn't anywhere for her to
go. For the first time, she found herself wishing she'd spent the
extra money for an apartment with an actual bedroom, rather than
settling for a much-cheaper studio; at least then she could've gotten
a couch. Somehow she didn't like where this was going--mention of
*that* night, alone with Spike, on a bed...the possibilities were not
exactly comforting.

"Oh. Um. But I-I don't really remember any promising going on; you
were trying to kill me...."

"Not permanently. It's just a necessity; hard to gift someone with
eternity without it," he shrugged.

"E-Eternity?"

"I told you, pet, I was planning to bring you back. You didn't think
all this time I was going to just abandon you once you were dead, did
you?"

Well, actually.... "What happened to 'I'm giving you a choice'?"

One corner of his mouth quirked up. "What can I say, pet? I lied. I'm
a demon, after all. I had no intention of letting you stay dead; what
a waste that would be. No, love, you had no real choice--I had already
decided you were going to be around forever."

It took her a few moments to recover from that enough to respond;
she'd spent the past couple of years assuming that, were it not for
the Initiative, she would have been dead for good that night. In fact,
for a while, she was ashamed to recall, she had even wondered if that
might not have been better. She wasn't sure how she felt about the
idea that she'd have been a vampire instead.

And yet...she couldn't resist asking, "Why me? Just to make Buffy
upset?"

For the first time since entering the room, he looked away; she found
it a little easier to...not relax, precisely, but...not-panic, without
his steady, unreadable gaze focused on her. "Has nothing to do with
the Slayer. You...you remind me of this bloke I once knew. Quiet
around anyone but your closest friends, intellectual, shy. Able to
feel quite deeply, even if you don't always show it. You deserve the
same chance he had, to--to find yourself. It's very freeing, being a
vampire is," he said, looking back at her and growing enthusiastic.
"All of a sudden, society's rules and expectations mean nothing. You
can be and do whatever you want, without caring what anybody else
thinks. And you'll have eternity to discover just what it is you *do*
want."

"But...why? Maybe I don't want eternity. M-Maybe I'm happy with, you
know, being alive!"

"But you're not, pet, are you?" he said quietly. "Not deep down. The
others, they don't see it, but you can't hide from me. You haven't
been really happy since before the wolf left, if then."

"Well, so? Even if that's true--and I'm not saying it is, 'cause it's
not!--that's no reason to make me a vampire! Remember, you hate us;
you should *want* us to be unhappy."

"Not you, love."

"Oh, right, great, me you just want dead!" Okay, probably *not* the
best thing to say to a vampire that was blocking her only escape
route, but it came out before she could think.

"No, I want you by my side, Willow," he replied calmly.

"Uh...while you do what? Or do I want to know? Y'know, I don't.
Whatever it is, I'm certain I do not want to hear deta--" He cut off
her nervous babbling by placing two fingers gently against her lips,
startling her into silence.

"Sorry to disappoint, but I don't have some dark, evil plot going. I
just want you with me, pet, forever. I...." His voice lost some of its
normally hard edge and the confidence that had been dominant until
now, as once again he seemed unable to meet her gaze. "I'm lonely,
Red. I've spent more than a century with no one I could really talk
to, but I did all right, because I had Dru. Now, I'm all alone, and I
hate it. And if I've got a chance to start again, I want it all this
time. Someone who not only cares about me, but who's actually got a
working brain, someone worth the effort of communicating with...."

As his voice trailed off, Willow began to forget that he'd been
talking about killing her; she knew what it was like to be alone, and
more than that, she just felt sorry for him. It was easy to forget
sometimes just what Spike was, especially when he was being all sweet
and vulnerable like this. Despite the small part of her mind that kept
screaming in protest, she found herself wanting to comfort him.

Then his focus returned to her, and with it her awareness of the
latent danger that Spike's presence always meant. "You'll love being a
vampire, pet," he said with a far from reassuring grin. "There's so
much I can teach you, and with the two of us working together, I just
know we'll be able to come up with some brilliant schemes. When was
the last time you could honestly say you spent a good portion of each
day just having fun, love? Because that's what it'll be."

He'd reached out with one hand to gently stroke her cheek, and she had
to struggle not to back away. It was all she could do to keep herself
from visibly shuddering in fear, and even then she only managed it
because the logical part of her *knew* that he couldn't do anything to
hurt her.

Which brought to mind something he'd said earlier, and before she
realised what she was doing she'd asked him about it. "W-Wait a second
here. You said something about, about 'following through' on your
threat. But your, uh, chip--"

"Is gone," he interrupted casually.

Willow's eyes widened in fear, and she couldn't help casting a quick
glance towards the phone; if it was close enough, maybe she could get
to it and hit the speed dial button for Buffy or Giles before he had a
chance to grab her, so that at least they'd know she was in
trouble....

If Spike hadn't killed them already, that is. She couldn't prevent the
shudder this time, then withdrew what little space she could in case
the display of fear provoked him.

He, however, just chuckled. "Don't worry, pet, they're all fine. And
they can even stay that way, if you insist; killing them would just be
a momentary pleasure. If you still don't want them harmed after you
wake up, we'll simply go far away from Sunnydale and they'll never
need to know. It's a small price to pay for eternity, after all."

His hand shifted from her cheek to hold the back of her head in a firm
grip, as his voice turned hard and cold. "Oh, and before you try
anything--I don't think it would be a good idea to, say, attempt to
call for help. Because then I'd just have to kill you quick, and trust
me when I say that hurts much more than is actually necessary. This is
going to happen, regardless; but it can either be sheer agony for you,
or I can make it gentle, nearly painless. Up to you, ducks."

Nearly paralyzed by panic, Willow was unable to do more than whimper
in reply. Frantically her mind raced, desperately trying to come up
with some way out of this situation. But there didn't seem to be one;
if she struggled or tried to get away, she had no doubts that he
could--and would, since he couldn't possibly have been serious about
that wanting her with him forever stuff--snap her neck before she knew
what was happening. And even if he weren't blocking her path to the
door, he was much too close for her to get far. The phone, it seemed,
wasn't really an option, and besides, he'd be expecting that now. His
eyes were boring into hers with apparent patience, but if there was
one thing she knew about Spike, it was that "patient" was the *last*
word to describe him, and the fact that he was pretending to be so now
somehow just added to her fear.

She had no idea how long they sat there, staring at each other, before
he once again gave a slow smile and whispered, "That's my girl." She
squeezed her eyes shut in a last desperate attempt to block out what
was happening to her, as he leaned in towards her neck.

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