Fixated

An Exhausting Night
 

    I don't know what came over me. All I know is, now they all think I'm crazy. Which I probably am.

"I'll do it." I have to repeat it, as much to convince them as myself. "We need him to fight with us. We do."

"Wills, are you sure-"

"I am, Buffy. He has to feed."

    I throw a look at his form, lying on the floor. His duster has been discarded some time ago, he's lying there in his usual black t-shirt and jeans. And his t-shirt is torn and cut in several places, blood flowing from his wounds. There's also one big cut on his left thigh. He'd survive this in the long term, with his usual animal blood.

    But he's needed here and now, and for that he has to drink fresh human blood. My blood.

    Bang!

    The demons keep trying to break down the door to my parents' house. Buffy, Xander, Spike and I had run in here while we were trying to flee from the group of demons. Luckily, the shutters were drawn on all the windows. Why don't demons need an invitation as well? We ran away from them, supporting Spike. He took the worst blows; he was fighting the one with the sword, bare-handed.

    Xander comes back from the kitchen with a carving knife. He looks into my eyes, and I do my best to wear my resolve face. After a moment, he smiles awkwardly at me and takes my wrist in his hand.

"I'm afraid I'm gonna have to hurt ya."

    Oh, Xander! I would have thought he of all people wouldn't have accepted my decision. But not only has he accepted it, he also understands. I get my wrist free and hug him.

"Thanks," I whisper in his ear, because we both need to hear something to make us believe he's actually doing me a favour.

    I turn my face away as he brings the knife to my wrist. My eyes fall on Buffy; she's looking at us both with wide eyes filled with incomprehension and, curiously enough, thankfulness. She's a little paler than usual, too.

    The steel of the knife suddenly cuts into my skin. It is so cold and biting that I can't repress a gasp of pain. I bite on my lower lip and try in vain to put the pain aside.

    I kneel onto the floor, next to Spike. I rest his head on my knees and bring my bloody wrist to his mouth. He shows no reaction at first. I bite harder on my lip, as hard as I can, hoping the pain I feel as my teeth dig into my lip will turn my attention away from my wrist.

    I have to focus. I have to focus. I can taste the blood in my mouth, seeping from my self-inflicted cut. It's got a metallic taste, but it's not totally unpleasant.

    Finally, Spike's face changes into that of his demon. The smell of my blood must have awakened it. I see Xander kneel beside me as I press my wrist firmly against Spike's lips. His mouth opens slightly, his tongue comes out and licks at some blood. Little by little, we all see he's getting some strength back. One of his hands hesitantly grabs my arm and pulls my wrist harder onto his mouth. He's now sucking my blood into his mouth. His eyes are still closed; I'm not sure Spike is awake yet.

    I feel very dizzy now. My sight is blurry. I can guess the form standing behind Xander is Buffy, and I know she must be wearing that disgusted expression on her face. I am so exhausted; the suction at my wrist won't let me rest. My eyelids flutter and I feel as if the whole world is spinning around me. The only stable thing is that suction.

    But suddenly it stops. The spinning slows down quickly. I look at my wrist and I see Spike licking at it, eyes now open but not seeing anything, with his game face still on.

    The next thing I know, his hand is firmly holding my neck and his tongue is in my mouth. Why is Spike kissing me as if I was his most cherished treasure? He's suddenly pulled away from me and thrown harshly onto the floor by an enraged Buffy. I can see her looking around for a stake. I put my hand up to my mouth, right where his lips crushed mine. I stand slowly up, unstable, dizzy, and hold out my hand to her.

"Buffy, stop." My voice is weak, trembling. Maybe that's why she stops. She looks at my hand, at the blood on my fingertips. "My mouth was bleeding."

    Suddenly my world goes black and I fall back. The fall seems to last an eternity, as if I was flying instead, until I land in strong arms. Xander. Thank you for being there.
 
 

    Forms and colours come back to me little by little, as well as hearing, now that I'm the one lying down. Only, I get to lie on the couch, instead of the floor.

"She really did that for me?" I would smile if I had the strength to. His voice seems tainted with respect, and that's new.

"Not for you, for the three of us. If you're able to fight, our chances of survival rocket up."

"Whatever you say, moron, she did that for me, too. Neither you nor the Slayer would have done that, while you had the slightest chance to survive without doing it. Red did it for me." Now he sounded somewhat proud. Weird.

"She's awake." Buffy interrupts them before this matter gets settled by killing. Not that she would mind Spike being dust, but I can still hear the demons banging at the door. "What do you need, Wills?"

"Nothing." I smile weakly as I hear my croaked voice. My throat is so dry. "Juice."

    Spike brings a glass of orange juice to my lips immediately. I look questioningly at him while he makes me drink the fresh liquid slowly. He looks much better already - guess he enjoyed my blood.

    He shrugs and looks away, putting the glass on the table. "Figured you'd be pretty dehydrated after that." His piercing eyes lock with mine and he's about to add something when a loud cracking sound, followed by many howls of joy, warns us that the door is no more.

    My parents are gonna kill me. If the demons don't do it first.

    Spike, Buffy and Xander start fighting the demons off with whatever piece of furniture they can find. These demons are really ugly: greenish, with three eyes, at least seven feet tall, massive. And why the hell am I talking about their appearances when I should be trying to remember the healing incantation?

    I can feel the magic building inside me as I recite the ritual words. As my lips shape the last syllable, the magic sweeps across my whole body and immediately I feel much better.

    While the others are doing their best to divert the demons' attention from me, I run upstairs and grab one of my magic books. I flick through the pages and find what I was looking for. I remember Spike's kiss and I know this spell will work, because his mouth was bleeding as well, and I must have swallowed a little bit of his blood too. Or at least I hope I have.

    I start chanting the ritual as I run downstairs, the magic once again building inside me. At the bottom of the stairs, one of the ugly green creatures is waiting for me. He lunges at me, but it's too late for him. The ritual is complete, and I can feel the magic flowing through and inside my hands. I extend my fingers towards him and from them a red mist flows which encircles him quickly. He drops dead.

    It's amazing what powerful spells you can achieve, once you've got some vampire blood in you.

    I turn my attention to my friends and quickly kill the demons attacking them. Each kill makes me feel powerful, in control. It's an amazing feeling. The room falls silent after the last demon dropped to the floor. The magic leaves me and it's my turn to drop on my knees. They rush towards me, asking with different words, all at the same time, if I'm ok.

"I'm fine." I pause, stopping myself from looking at the damages done to my parents' living room. There'll be time enough for that tomorrow. "Just a little tired. Let me get some sleep and I'll be fine."

    Before any of us can react, Spike has picked me gently up in his arms and is walking up the stairs.

"What are you doing?"

"I thought you were the smart one." He pauses, repressing a grin. "I'm carrying you to your bloody room so you can rest, Red."

    That shuts me up. I mean, that's pretty much every girl's dream, should she be bisexual or not: being taken to your bedroom in some strong and mysterious man's arms. Only, my strong and mysterious man is not exactly a man. He happens to be a vampire with a poorly done and very hideous bleach job, torn t-shirt and jeans, several so not sexy wounds, an attitude problem, a chip in his head and a crush on my best friend, who'd love to see him dead.

    My dream come true, really. Only to be seriously destroyed.

    He puts me down on my bed and pulls the blanket over my body. I didn't know he was capable of such kindness for someone he wasn't in love with. He walks out of the room and turns back, grabbing the door handle. I close my eyes and prepare myself to have a deserved sleep.

"Red?" My eyes shoot back open and I can see him, still standing in the doorframe.  His eyes are locked with mine and he seems extraordinarily honest. "Thank you."

    Maybe I just dreamed that. 'Cause now the door is closed, and there is no sign of Spike, let alone a grateful Spike. I close my eyes again and let myself drift away in sleep. It's been an exhausting night.

next