Title: Lost in advance (1/6 in the War series)
Author: Fan¹
Couple: W/S
Disclaimer: Buffy characters belong to Joss. The lyrics are translated from the French song ŒPerdu d¹avance¹ by Superflu.
Rating: ok, I don't know anything about your rating system, let's just say it's sort of angsty. No sex though, and no violence described in
great details. But, major characters deaths. You're warned now.
Dedication: to Karen for the beta (what would I have done without you?) as well as for writing searching (hey, we all need more of that,
don't we?). To Lanie for issuing this challenge (if you can remember, I told you that I'd answer it some day. I did. Only, way later than I
had thought!). And to all the authors I like and I have already sent feedback to. Speaking of which:
Feedback: obviously, I need it. Not ready to beg, but I will if I have to. Would do anything for feedback. ;))))
Note: Answer to a challenge issued soooooo long ago by Lanie (by the way, she self-answered her challenge, fic's entitled Easy and is
great!). This part happens at the end of season 4. No Tara.
 

It¹s far more beautiful than a victory
A battle lost in advance

Spike had always known it. It wouldn¹t last. It couldn¹t. Not with her. She was too -- good. He was evil.

The armours in the sun
The shining helmets

Her glowing eyes. Bright green. So malicious at times. He would have loved to see them shine in the sun.

The standards
At the end of the spears

The delicious way he used to undress her, slowly, with kindness. Nothing like haste or beast-like fury, but tender and sweet, kissing
every inch of her skin.
 
 

It¹s far more beautiful than a victory
A battle lost in advance

Willow did know it couldn¹t last. He was a vampire. He was evil. It had just been a matter of time until he got the chip out.

The flower on the gun
The other in the eyes

He would bite her tenderly when she asked him to. But he would never do it without a confirmation from her eyes. She loved to plunge
hers in his, deep icy blue, in order to invite him to sink his fangs into her flesh.

To take a U-turn it¹s too late
Even if we think on it

Once they had first kissed, they knew that for a while, they would be unofficially a couple. They knew they would make love until their
time had come. The time to break up. There was no turning back. Their tongues had mingled.
 
 

It¹s far more beautiful than a victory
A battle lost in advance

Lost. Spike had lost her totally and utterly. But he couldn¹t go against his nature, now, could he? He was a vampire. Unchipped, he had
had to kill the bloody Slayer. It wasn¹t as if he had ever pretended he didn¹t despise her.
He was evil. After having killed Slutty, he had had to kill her friends. The bloody Scooby Gang. Only, he couldn¹t kill her. She had been
his.

And ours was of these ones
Hopeless, careless

He knew they were both aware it was just an affair. Basic attraction between two adults. They both knew of the consequences, yet they
did not care. They were together.
 
 

It¹s far more beautiful than a victory
A battle lost in advance

The moment he had sunk his teeth into her slayer friend, Willow knew he had lost her. How could he ? After all they had gone through
together, how could he do this to her?
And then he had killed Xander, and Giles, and Anya, and he turned to her, his true face on, the face of the demon she had slept with
during these few weeks. He turned to her, evilness glowing in his amber eyes, and stepped forward. One step forward. And then he
stopped. Probably had he seen the coldness in her eyes, among the tears. Whatever it was, he turned away and fled. Coward.
He had refused to kill her. He had forced her to live with this. To cope with her dearest friends¹ death. To bear the hurt she felt inside,
which would never heal. He had let her live, the worst curse.

We won¹t pretend we didn¹t know
We couldn¹t see a thing
She had been angry at herself as well. She was guilty. She knew this would arrive one day, she knew he was evil, she knew he would
kill them all. If only he had killed them all, including her. Perhaps then she wouldn¹t feel guilty. What a bliss it must be, not to feel
anymore.

Or we wouldn¹t believe
In the warning shots

All the times he had called her friends names, he had insulted them in many languages she mostly did not know. All the times he had
threatened them. She shouldn¹t have been with him. In doing so she had betrayed them.
 
 

It¹s far more beautiful than a victory
A battle lost in advance

Angel had known all of it since the beginning. He should have stopped them, for he knew how vampire/mortal relations ended. But he
didn¹t.
Spike had called him, unchipped, told him what he did. Told him Willow needed him, that they could brood together then. Told him he
had lost her, and that it was meant so from the start. Even if he loved her.
Angel didn¹t answer, but had hung up and called Willow. He was now expecting her.

The waiting room

Angel had let it all happen. Now all he had to do was wait, wait for her to come here, wait for her to find a refuge in his arms, wait for
her to slowly heal. If it was possible.

The great clock

They had all three known their time was limited, it wouldn¹t last long, it couldn¹t last long. And now their time was up.

The handkies waltz

It was now time for crying, for drinking. Willow would cry, would sleep, would cry again. Spike would drink, would feed, would drink
again. Or else he would feed, and kill, destroy. It didn¹t really matter now. He was heading for England, to return his homeland.

Goodbye and good luck

Angel had silently wished him good luck as he had hung up. He of all people knew that love didn¹t matter in these cases. It simply
wasn¹t enough. It was all lost in advance.

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