Rating: R
Summary: Buffy's life changes, but what/who is behind it?
Disclaimer: All characters and aspects of the fictional environment are property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, Fox, et al. There is no intent, or remote possibility, of anyone profiting from this.
Distribution: If you'd like it ask and I'll let you take it.
Feedback: Please
Dedication: To everyone who has been kind enough to provide feedback. Those of you who don't yet write, can't imagine how it makes you feel.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Part: 1~
Buffy's head began to clear. She heard a voice, it sounded familiar, but she couldn't make out the words. She tried to concentrate, but her head hurt so much.
"Can you hear me, "the voice said.
"Giles, is that you?" she murmured.
"What was that?" the voice said, the speaker moving closer.
She repeated her question.
"No it's Doctor Travers, how are you feeling Mrs. McKay?"
Her eyes opened wide as memories flooded back. Her head felt as if it were ready to explode.
"Andrew, where is Andrew and JW where is she?"
She tried to get up, but fell back in pain.
She kept repeating the question. She didn't feel the needle prick on her arm, and then she felt nothing.
~~~*~~~
"England, you're going to England?" Xander said in disbelief.
"The watcher's council wanted me to come, "Buffy explained.
"Since when did you give a rodent's rear what that bunch of crumpet munching stuffed shirts wanted?"
Buffy grinned and nodded her agreement, " it's been so long since I've seen Giles and Willow is still on that fellowship to Oxford. Crumpets or no crumpets, it's a free trip."
Later that week, she looked down as the plane circled over the Pacific and headed east.
She sighed and thought goodbye Sunnydale, goodbye California, goodbye
slaying, at least for a while. The corners of her mouth drooped,
goodbye Dawn, goodbye Xander.
She settled back in her seat and tried to think of seeing Willow and
Giles again and her spirits began to rise.
~~~*~~~
"Buffy can you hear me?" Willow tried once more to get through to her friend.
"She's been like this for days, 'the young doctor said. I was hoping that a familiar voice might make a difference.
"I'm surprised Giles' voice didn't work," Willow offered.
Doctor Travers looked uncomfortable, "we weren't able to get Mr. Giles to help us unfortunately. Even when we told him she'd asked for him, he refused to come. In fact he was quite rude."
Willow was shocked. She'd been in Italy researching paranormal phenomena when she received word about the accident. She'd assumed Giles had been too distraught to contact her directly. When she arrived in London, she'd rushed to the hospital. She assumed he'd be here at Buffy's bedside. He'd always been like a second father to her, she didn't understand.
~~~*~~~
Buffy looked around for a familiar face as she emerged from customs. She expected Giles or Willow but didn't see either of them. Then she noticed a tall red haired young man holding a card with 'Summers' printed on it.
"Hi, "she greeted the young man, "are you here to meet Buffy Summers?"
"If that's you, I am, "he said with a mischievous smile.
She blushed and introduced herself. He told her that Giles had asked him to meet her and bring her to the hotel the Council had booked.
"No, I'm going to stay with my friend Willow at Oxford," she protested.
As he walked her to the car, he explained that the Council needed her in London and that it was quite an unusual gesture for them to put her up in a good hotel.
"I certainly can see why they like you so much, "he said opening the car door for her.
She blushed again, there was something about him. She hadn't felt this way about anyone in a long time.
"Name, ah name, you haven't…" she stuttered. God, she thought, it's the eighth grade all over again.
"Sorry, I was temporarily blinded by your beauty. McKay, Andrew McKay at your service."
~~~*~~~
Willow knocked again with no response. Giles hadn't answered his phone for the past three days. She'd been trying to reach him ever since the hospital called. She didn't know why she'd come to his apartment; she knew if he were here, he couldn't have abandoned them.
She turned away and walked slowly toward the stairs, then turned back. Was there a sound from his apartment? She listened intently and thought she heard the same sound again.
"Giles," she called out, "it's me Willow."
She thought back to Giles' Sunnydale apartment and began to search the hallway around the door. In a few moments she found a key hidden in a slot above the doorframe. Using it, she let herself in.
"Giles where are you?" she called out into the darkened room.
When her eyes became accustomed to the gloom, she saw him huddled in a living room chair. Approaching him, she was met by a wave of whisky fumes.
"Giles come on you've got to pull yourself together. Buffy needs you."
Giles raised his head and fixed her with a bloodshot eye, "me? I'm the last fucking thing she needs now." He paused and took a drink directly from the bottle he was cradling in his arms.
"It's all my fault, it's all my fucking fault, "he said in a broken voice.
Tears rolled down his cheeks as he raised the bottle to his lips.
~Part: 2~
"Half of bitter and….." Willow paused.
"I'll have the same, "Buffy added.
The bartender nodded and moved off.
"So how do you like London?" Willow asked.
"It's no Sunnydale," Buffy replied.
The drinks arrived and they each took a sip. Buffy made a face.
"When they say bitter, I guess they mean it, "she said.
Willow took another sip and sighed, "just wait, believe me you can really get used to it."
"There's a pub around the corner from my rooms in Oxford, sometimes we spend half the afternoon there. We talk and get pissed, "she laughed.
Buffy's eyes drifted toward the door.
"Am I keeping you?" Willow asked.
"No, sorry Will I just …" Buffy stopped and broke into a broad smile.
Willow glanced at the door and saw a handsome red haired man come through and head in their direction.
Buffy turned a bright shade of pink and stood to greet him. He kissed her on the cheek and took her hand.
"Will, this is Andrew he works for the Council. He's been showing me around and … stuff."
After they'd eaten and Andrew had made his good-byes, the two girls watched him through the door and onto the street.
"So what do you think Will?" Buffy asked anxiously.
"He seems great, but isn't this going kinda fast?"
Buffy sighed, "I know Will, but the first time I saw him. I was all shivery inside and I had to tell myself to breathe. Please Will tell me I'm not making a big mistake."
Willow hesitated; she looked into Buffy's eyes. She saw the pleading there.
"Do you love him?" Willow asked finally.
Buffy nodded slowly, "I really do Will, I do."
Willow sighed a big sigh inside and smiled, "I think he's great, perfect for you."
~~~*~~~
"How long does the Council want you to stay, "Willow asked, "it's been what, nearly six months?"
"I'm not complaining, "Buffy said with a grin.
"I know, "Willow said, "Andrew."
"We went to Edinburgh to meet his parents last weekend."
"That sounds pretty serious," Willow said.
"We'd better get serious and buy some clothes or I'll have nothing to wear, "Buffy said changing the subject.
They were sorting through jeans at Harrods, "Buffy your size is over here."
Buffy waved her over, "I think I'll buy a couple pairs of these," she said holding up a pair with an elastic waistband.
Willow just stared. Buffy colored and nodded.
~~~*~~~
Willow managed to take the bottle from Giles and get him upstairs. He sat on the bed his head in his hands.
"Why did I do it?" he asked no one in particular.
"I think you need to get some sleep, "Willow offered.
"I have to tell her. I owe it to her and her .." he began to cry.
Willow tried to comfort him, but he was too far-gone. She pulled off his shoes and got him into bed. She was pulling the spread over him when he began to speak again.
"I'll tell you and you can tell her. Willow do you promise to tell her? Please, I can't do it. I've been trying ever since … will you please?"
"Of course Giles, anything you want, "she said trying to calm him down.
He smiled weakly, "thank you Willow, you're a good girl. I always knew you …."
Willow sat for a while to be sure he was asleep for the night, and then went back to her hotel.
Next morning, Willow was about to open the door to Giles' apartment when the door swung in on its own.
"Can I help you?" the elderly man holding the door asked.
Confused, Willow asked for Giles.
"I'm sorry; Mr. Giles was taken ill last night. He's been taken to hospital."
"How is he? Where is he?" Willow asked.
"You're Ms. Rosenberg aren't you?"
She nodded.
"Then you'll understand, Mr. Giles is in a private clinic operated by the Council. We have your number; I'll have you notified when he can receive visitors; if there's nothing else?"
In a few minutes, Willow was back on the street wondering what her next step should be.
She started to walk to the hospital. She thought it would give her some time to think. She turned into a covered walkway between two buildings. She failed to notice that she was the only pedestrian in the passage. She also failed to notice the deep pool of shadow halfway down.
A pair of strong arms pulled her into the darkness.
"Red, what the bloody hell is going on? The Slayer married and a mother, Giles a hopeless drunk. It's about time I took control of this effing circus, "Spike whispered into her ear.
~Part: 3~
Willow hurried up the stairs holding two bunches of roses. She was breathing heavily when she reached the second floor room. She handed one bouquet to Buffy and handed the other to Dawn. She nodded to the gray suited man who began to speak in formal measured words.
Later, the entire group was gathered in a private room in a nearby pub.
"Married in a Registry Office in London, who would have guessed?" Willow said.
"Mrs. McKay to you, unmarried spinster lady," Buffy responded holding out her left hand showing off the new shiny plain gold band.
Willow leaned closer, "how do you feel?"
Buffy absently touched her stomach, "she's fine."
They both turned in response to sudden laughter from across the room. The young men invited by Andrew surrounded Dawn; she held them spellbound with stories of growing up in California.
"You may not be the only Summers married in London, "Willow commented.
Buffy frowned as she looked around the room, "where's Giles? I hardly saw him at the ceremony and I don't see him any where?"
Willow found him in a dark corner of the bar staring into a large whisky.
"Giles, why don't you come back to the party? Buffy's missing you."
When he raised his eyes, she was surprised to see that they were red and watery. He spoke with exaggerated precision as if he were trying not to slur his words.
"I don't feel much like celebrating, if that's all right with you."
Willow persisted, "Giles, you're the closest thing to a parent she has. How can you stay away from her at a time like this? Don't you understand what family is?"
His face paled with the exception of two bright red spots high on his cheeks.
"I bloody well understand about family, do you? Did you worry every time she went on patrol? Were you afraid that you hadn't trained her well enough to survive the dangers you forced her to face? In the end, did you sacrifice her happiness for the sake of some worn out tradition?"
"Giles, I don't understand."
"You're fucking right you don't understand, just leave me alone. Please."
Willow turned away. She couldn't face him. The sadness of the pleading tone in his last word brought tears to her eyes.
~~~*~~~
"Push," Andrew said, "come on sweetheart one more good push."
He was right, one more push and the baby was there. She was red and wet and loud and the most beautiful thing Buffy had ever seen.
Later that night, Willow detoured to the nursery window on the way to Buffy's room. As she searched for her goddaughter, she noticed a familiar figure enter the down elevator.
"Hi Buffy, how are you feeling?" Willow asked as she entered the room.
Buffy gave an exhausted smile, "I'll take on a dozen vampires any day rather than go through that again."
"Yeah, but what you ended up with is way better than pile of vamp dust."
"She is beautiful isn't she?"
"She takes after her god mom," Willow grinned.
She continued, "what did Giles have to say about her?"
"Search me, "Buffy answered, "I haven't seen him."
"He wasn't here tonight?" Willow asked.
Buffy shook her head.
The nurse bringing in the baby for a feeding interrupted Willow's thoughts.
Buffy took her and pulled her nightgown open. Willow colored and turned her back.
"Come on Will, it's just a natural thing. Don't be embarrassed."
"Not embarrassed, just checking out the walls here, "Willow said without turning around.
"Poor Jennifer Willow your god mom doesn't love you anymore."
"Willow!" she said turning and moving back to the bed, "did you say Willow?"
Buffy grinned as a feeling of perfect well being spread through her body.
~~~*~~~
"The best I can tell, "she told Spike, " is that they were on a trip to show the baby," she paused and swallowed, " to his parents in Scotland. There was an accident and Andrew and JW didn't ….. make it."
Spike waited for her to recover.
She continued, "they brought Buffy back to a London hospital. She's getting better physically, but she's in some kind of a fog. They're not sure that she even knows about, you know."
They were sitting side by side on a bench in a dark corner of a large and noisy pub. He leaned toward her and she collapsed into his arms. He held her and stroked her back.
After a few moments, she sat back and wiped her eyes.
"And now, Giles is in the hospital. I told you what he was like at the wedding, well he's just been going down hill ever since. He just stayed in his apartment and drank."
"I think that's where we start, 'Spike said, "we find Giles and get some answers."
~~~*~~~
Her nameplate read 'Matron Smith' she was a formidable middle aged woman with a no nonsense attitude and no patience for Willow's questions.
"I'm sorry Ms. Rosenberg Mr. Giles cannot have any visitors. I assure you that Dr. Travers put your name on his chart to be contacted as soon as he is ready for visitors."
"This is urgent, there's some information I must discuss with him. It just can't wait."
"Wait it can and wait it will Ms. Rosenberg, "she said rising and indicating the interview was at an end.
"Any luck?" Spike asked as she slid in behind the wheel.
"If your idea of luck is being spanked and sent on your way, then I was lucky."
There was silence between them.
"Spike, did you hear what I said?"
"Yes luv I heard. I was tying to picture the spanking and I guess
I was carried away."
"Where to?" she asked her companion.
"Back to the source, let's see if we can raise the Slayer."
~~~*~~~
Spike stayed in the hall as Willow entered the room.
"Hi Buffy, can you hear me?"
Willow noticed her friend's eyes flicker open and shut.
"Are you alone?" Buffy whispered.
Willow came closer, "what?"
Buffy repeated her question.
Willow whispered "yes."
She was encouraged to see Buffy's eyes spring open and her form straighten on the bed.
"Will, something weird is going on. I was so woozy all the time, I couldn't do anything even stay awake. Then one night I dropped my pills and fell asleep. When I woke up, I felt better more alive. So, I faked taking the next day's meds. In twenty-four hours, I was as good as new. They were sedating me Will without telling me anything."
"Maybe it was to keep you calm while so you could rest. You had a bad shock."
"That too Will, something's wrong. They said JW was ….., but she's not. I can feel her inside and I know she's alive."
"Buffy I know you want to think that but…"
"Will don't forget, I'm still the slayer and I have the strongest kind of bond with her."
Willow glanced around the room trying to think through the things that Buffy had been saying when her eyes stopped at a small photo on the bedside table.
She picked it up, "Buffy what's this?" she asked holding it out to her friend.
"That was the weekend Andrew and I first visited his parents in Edinburgh. That's Andrew, me and Mr. and Mrs. McKay."
Willow put the picture down carefully. She recognized Buffy and Andrew of course, but she was surprised to also recognize the elderly man she found at Giles' apartment and Matron Smith posing as Andrew's parents.
~Part: 4~
Willow hurried Buffy along the corridor to the Hospital service lift. When she pushed the call button, the doors opened and Spike reached out and pulled them both into the car. He moved the control lever to BB and the car started down.
"There's an old tunnel system that runs through the hospital sub basement. That's just in case anyone is checking the normal exits trying to keep you here," he nodded at Buffy.
She slumped against the wall of the lift and Willow put an arm around her.
"Are you Ok? We can still go back if you're not up to leaving," Willow said.
"I'll be Ok, just give me a minute."
She looked at Spike for the first time, "thanks Spike, I'm not sure why you're helping, but thanks anyway."
"Trying to give the bloody country a bad name, that's what they're doing. I owe it to the Queen, 'he said with a British salute."
"Anyway, "he continued, "I never did like those buggers on the Council."
The doors finally opened on a twilight world of generator hums and clanging pipes. Spike led them to a door hidden by shadows in a far corner and soon they were out of the hospital and under the streets of London.
"Can we stop by my place and get a few things?" Buffy asked.
Spike thought for a moment, "if we hurry and get in and out before they know you're gone."
At Buffy's apartment, Willow filled a duffel bag with handfuls of Buffy's clothing from the dresser. Buffy was gathering jewelry, make up and other personal items and filling a backpack. She paused before a table of framed pictures, the majority showing a chubby happy baby.
Spike was staring at his watch, "come on people, we haven't much time."
"Buffy, "Willow called out, "bring them all.
As if jolted from a dream, Buffy quickly stuffed all the pictures into the pack. Spike was holding the door open and gesturing for them to follow, when the phone began to ring. At the same time, they could hear the steps of several people coming up the stairs.
He pointed upwards and put a finger to his lips. They silently followed his directions and started up the staircase.
In a few moments they were on the roof and in a few more they were several buildings away. After about five minutes, they came to a medium sized rather seedy hotel. They found the roof door and descended.
Later Buffy was seated in Spike's rather large bed/sitting room. It contained two upholstered chairs, a threadbare sofa and a large bed. Additionally, there was a small table and two wooden chairs in a kitchen area containing a gas ring and a microwave.
"All the comforts of home, "Buffy said with a sigh.
Willow was behind her trying to find a place for Buffy's things.
"Now your underwear is over here, "she said holding open a drawer in the old tall dresser next to the bed.
Buffy noticed the grin on Spike's face, "cut it out, I'm too tired to play games. If you want to go through my underwear drawer, knock yourself out, just wash out anything you wear before you put it back."
Willow grinned and Spike gave them both a nasty look and sat down with his back toward them.
"I'll put your jewelry and papers in this tin box and .."
Buffy interrupted, "Will you'd better take this, it's the stuff I had in the hospital," and she tossed a small nylon bag to her friend.
A moment later, Willow came up behind her with an odd look on her face.
"Buffy where did you get this?"
"Oh that, "Buffy said glancing at the silver necklace Willow was holding out to her, "Andrew, ah gave it to me soon after we met," she said in a choked voice.
The Slayer covered her face with her hands for a few moments.
"I'm Ok," she said lowering her hands. Willow could see the redness in her eyes.
"It must mean a lot to you, you loved him so much."
Buffy just nodded forcing her lips into a thin straight line trying to keep back the tears.
Behind her, Willow dropped the necklace into a small silver box that she removed from her purse.
"He was the perfect guy I guess, "Willow continued carefully examining her friend's reaction.
Buffy looked frightened then puzzled, "no I guess he was a good guy," she said hesitantly.
"He was good looking and funny and … and why am I not crying? The love of my life the father of my child and I don't feel…"
Willow opened the box and removed the necklace. Almost immediately, Buffy fell into near hysterical sobs. "Andrew, Andrew, "was all she could get through the sobbing.
Willow dropped the necklace back into the box and placed the closed box on the dresser. By the time she'd turned back, Buffy was dry-eyed wiping her cheeks with a tissue.
"What's wrong with me Will, why are these things happening to me?"
Willow picked up the silver box, found the picture she'd seen in the hospital and pulled up a chair next to her friend. I've got some things to show you.
~Part: 5~
Willow told Buffy about her encounters with the people in the photo, the people she knew as Andrew's parents. Her heart ached as she saw her friend slowly slump into the chair. She seemed to shrink into herself.
"The necklace Andrew gave you that was, "Willow hesitated, "that was what made you love him. I mean you had to like him, but the magic in the necklace amplified your feelings for him."
Buffy dropped her head into her hands, "all of this .. everything just to make me fall for him. I don't understand, it's not like I'm rich or special or …"
"I think it was because you are special, because you're a slayer. This magic, "Willow said holding up the silver box, "is very sophisticated. You never felt it and I couldn't tell it was there. The source would have to be very powerful and one that Andrew had access to."
Buffy lifted her head, "the Council?"
Willow nodded.
Life came into Buffy's eyes and she sat straighter, "they might know where JW is, right?"
Willow frowned, "we still don't know if…"
Buffy cut her off, "I know she's alive. I can feel it."
Willow took her hand, "if you're sure, I'm sure."
Buffy took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "Ok, what do we do?"
Spike spoke up, "It's Giles, and we have to get to him somehow. I think the way he's been acting shows he knows something, something that's wearing him down."
~~~*~~~
Buffy and Willow sat in the front seat of Willow's hired car. They were parked across the street from the Council hospital in the shadows under a broken street light.
The dome light flashed as Spike slid into the back seat.
"No luck, the whole place is sealed. I even felt some security spells when I got close to the doors."
"Let's hand around a little longer and see what we can see, "Willow offered.
The girls were half dozing when Spike shook them both by the shoulder.
"Wake up. Take a good look at that laundry van, "he said pointing to a small white van parked at the service entrance to the hospital.
"I don't see anything special, "Willow said.
"See the guy with the cart?" he asked. "Take a closer look."
Willow stared at the man in the white coat and cap pushing the laundry cart.
"Think costume shop and evil spells, "Spike added.
"Ethan, "Willow gasped, "It's Ethan isn't it."
"Why would Ethan be here? Not to help Giles, "Buffy said.
"Don't be too sure, "Spike said, "there's a lot of history between Ethan and the Ripper."
He slipped out of the car, "you wait here.
The girls watched Spike carefully approach the van and disappear behind it.
In a few minutes, the cart returned. This time it was being pushed by one white coated man and pulled along by another. When they reached the van, they loaded the cart and one of the men jumped in behind it. The second man closed the rear door and hurried into the driver's seat.
Ethan slammed the door and turned the ignition key before he felt the hand grip his throat.
"Let's just be calm Ethan, "Spike said in a low voice, "I'm going to let go and then you're going to take your passenger to his destination. He'll just have a little company when we get there."
He released Ethan's throat and gestured for Willow to follow them.
~~~*~~~
The van pulled up to a row of seedy apartments followed by Willow's car. Spike left the front seat and climbed into the back. After a few minutes, he emerged with the second man in white. He stepped to the driver's side window of the van and talked to the driver for a few moments. Then, the van pulled away, turned the corner and disappeared. Spike walked back to Willow's car.
"Is it him?" Willow nodded toward the man on the sidewalk.
Spike nodded.
"He'll talk to you, "he said to Willow. "I'm to stay here with the Slayer."
"Wait a minute, if you think I'm…" Buffy objected.
"It's the only way Buffy, "Spike said opening Willow's door.
They exchanged places and Willow walked slowly toward the man huddled against the damp wind.
~Part: 6~
Willow followed Giles into the building. She stayed a few steps behind him. There was something about the way he held himself, the way he avoided even looking in her direction that made her stay back. She followed him into a small flat on the second floor.
"This is Ethan's place. We'll be moving on, I have to collect a few things while we talk," Giles said looking everywhere but at Willow.
He began opening drawers and loading a large nylon duffel.
"Giles, "Willow asked perching on the single bed, "what's going on?"
He stopped packing and finally faced her.
She was shocked by his appearance, she hadn't had a good look at him since the night she put him to bed. It seemed he'd aged ten years. His face was lined and seemed thinner, his shoulders were bowed.
"Willow, I love her and I love you more than anything else in the world. You may not wish to believe it, but it's true."
"You can't even say her name, can you?" Willow said.
He turned and resumed packing, "the Council would have gone ahead without me, you know. It didn't make a whit's difference if I cooperated or not."
"It made a difference to her, "Willow said, "and I think it made a difference to you."
He paused and then nodded, "you're right of course, I made it all happen so easily. I helped get her here and I helped select Andrew. I even consulted on the spell that was used, God help me."
"The necklace?" Willow asked.
He smiled grimly, "I knew you would find it eventually, we could hide it from most people, but not you."
"But why Giles, why did you make this happen? Do you know how devastated she is? She was basically raped by the Council and her child was stolen."
Giles began to speak.
"Don't deny it; neither of us buys the accident story anymore. JW is alive."
"Willow, Slayers aren't made they're born. There isn't some random magical process that throws up a Slayer when she's needed. Plans are made and actions are taken to assure that the Slayer lines continue."
"You mean JW…"
"Is a Slayer or will be. She's the child of a Slayer the result of a controlled process overseen by the Council at every step."
He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "she was taken by the Council to be raised by selected parents and trained by Council personnel."
"You mean Buffy was…"
"To all intents and purposes Joyce Summers was her mother, that's all that's important."
"I still don't understand why you did it. You could have warned her, you could have done something. Look what's happened to you, it's nearly destroyed you."
He turned and pulled up a wooden chair opposite her and sat.
"Not nearly … no, not nearly," he said with a sigh.
He began with another apology and then continued.
"What's taking them so long?" Buffy complained.
"I should go up there and …"
"And what?" Spike asked, "are you going to threaten Giles? You can hold him while Willow works him over."
Buffy made a sour face, "I have to do something, every hour that passes JW could be further away."
Spike touched her arm and pointed toward the door as Willow came out onto the street.
She slid into the back seat, "let's go back to your place Spike. We can make arrangements from there.""
He started the car and pulled away.
"Arrangements, "Buffy asked, "what arrangements? What did you find out about JW?"
"She's headed for the states and we should too before the trail gets too cold."
"Giles told you the Council was behind this didn't he?" Buffy asked.
Willow nodded.
"They've got her don't they?"
Willow nodded again.
"Why Will, did he tell you why?"
Willow told her about the Slayer program and explained that JW was going to be placed with adoptive parents somewhere in the American west."
Buffy's features stiffened, "you mean all Slayers are…"
"No, "Willow assured her, "this is a new program. You and JW are the test case."
Buffy relaxed, "and she's going back home, right?"
Willow nodded again.
As she nodded, she thought of the lies she was going to have to tell and the secrets she'd have to keep. Soon, she hoped, they'd be going home, taking her friend away from these hard memories. Home, even if it was a wild goose chase.
"Before we go, let's give Giles another try. I'm sure I can get more out of him. I don't understand why you wouldn't let me go this time. He couldn't keep anything away from me, not me."
"He's gone, he and Ethan left by the backdoor a few minutes before I came down, "Willow said sadly."
"But we can track.."
"Buffy, he's gone. No one is going to find him, not us and not the Council, "Willow said harshly.
She closed her eyes and wished she'd never pushed Giles. Wished he'd never told her the real reason he'd gone long with the Council's schemes.
~Part: 7~
They spent a busy few days preparing to leave for Sunnydale. Willow got an indefinite leave from her fellowship. She wanted to be able to stay with Buffy and Dawn as long as they needed her. She let Buffy make the travel arrangements, but decided they all should go together to collect her belongings from the apartment that she'd shared with Andrew and JW.
Spike pulled Willow aside as they were getting ready to leave.
"Is it safe for her to go back to the apartment, isn't the Council still looking for her?"
Willow kept her voice low, Buffy was on the phone with the airline ticket agent, "I went to the Council's offices today. I told them Buffy was still physically weak and emotionally upset and that I thought it was best for her to go back home as soon as possible."
"Did you tell them what we know about JW and the experiment?" Spike asked.
"I think they read between the lines. They know Giles is gone and now I suddenly want to take Buffy back home. They just don't know how much we know and they aren't about to give up any more information by trying to find out. So we ignored it completely. I did manage to make them feel guilty enough to wire money for traveling and living expenses to my account in California. At least she won't have to worry about money for a while."
Later there was an awkward moment when Buffy came into the apartment and again when she started to collect the few baby things that were there. Buffy was methodically folding and packing the contents of the bedroom dresser when Spike gestured for Willow to join him in the living room.
"Something's bloody well wrong. I've been around grief for a long time, been the cause of a lot of it too. She's not grieving like the mother of a missing baby. Slayer or no Slayer, she should have had hysterics two or three times in the last few days, it's only natural. It's almost as if she's forgetting the personal details, as if it's all happening to someone else."
Willow sat down heavily on a leather-covered stool.
"Giles told me it would happen like this; it's all part of the spell. Most of her memories about Andrew and JW will become cloudy and uncertain. They designed it as a protective measure."
"Will she forget everything?" he asked.
"No, they couldn't overcome the mother child link, but eventually she'll feel a generalized sadness, but the specifics will fade."
"I don't know which is worse, "he said thoughtfully.
"Neither do I, "she added.
He looked into her eyes. "so you've been holding this in ever since you talked to Giles?"
She put her head down and nodded.
He put an arm around her, "please take care of yourself, she needs you and so does Dawn. Oh hell, and so do I."
She looked up questioningly.
"Why do you think I came back? I couldn't stay away. I thought I missed the excitement and the Slayer and … Then I got back and found what it was I really missed."
Neither of them spoke as she lowered her head onto his shoulder.
After a few minutes, Willow looked up, "why didn't you come to Oxford?"
He grinned, "I did. It was like I was a sodding stalker. I'd follow you from the library to your rooms and back again. Thanks to the fine English weather, the sun wasn't much of a problem. I even used to sit in a corner of the Horse and Plow and watch you and your mates get royally pissed. Then I'd be sure that you got home alright, and alone."
She smiled faintly, "kind of a dry spell for the last … forever I guess."
He rubbed her shoulder, "just saved me scaring off the local boys, "he hesitated, " and girls."
She punched him playfully on the arm.
"I'm about done, "Buffy called from the other room.
Spike and Willow stood and she kissed him lightly on the cheek, "thanks for everything, "she said softly.
The next night, Willow stood at the window in the sitting room of the small suite she and Buffy had been sharing for the last week. Tomorrow they were leaving for the states. Everything was packed all the arrangements were made and double checked, but she couldn't sleep.
She heard the sofa creak behind her, "I thought you were resting," she said not turning around.
"I guess I'm like you, "Spike said, "restless."
"What is it?" he continued, "I know it's not the trip and I know it's not the child."
"What do you mean?" she asked still not taking her gaze from the rainy streets.
"After you came down from talking with Giles, you shifted from trying to recover the child to taking care of her mother."
Willow didn't respond.
"It was as if, "he went on," the tables had turned and Buffy was the one in danger."
Her shoulders slumped and he could hear the quiet sound of tears.
"Come here, "he said, "you have to tell someone, tell me."
She sat beside him and he handed her the box of tissues from the end table.
She wiped her eyes and gathered her strength.
"Giles told me things that I didn't tell Buffy, things I couldn't tell her."
He nodded and put an arm around her.
"This wasn't an experiment. It's standard procedure."
"You mean Joyce?" he raised his eyebrows.
"Yes, but he said she was as real a mother as anyone could have been."
"She was, "he agreed.
"He seemed to feel so guilty for being involved. So I asked him why he just didn't say no."
~~~*~~~
Giles shifted in his chair, "because that was the quickest way to get things done."
"Why did you care about that? If things had taken longer, maybe you or I could have …."
Willow stopped as his face stiffened.
"There wasn't time, "he said trying to keep his voice steady, "this was the only chance."
The realization of what he'd just said struck her, "No, it can't be. Not Buffy."
He nodded, "in less than a year."
After Willow had gathered herself, she said, "then it's more important than ever to find JW. She and Buffy should spend the last …"
Giles was shaking his head. He explained about the spell and Buffy's fading memory of her child.
"We still have to be sure that she's taken care of properly, Dawn and I could…"
"She'll be fine it's for the best believe me."
Willow's face colored and she stood to face him, "I thought that you loved her and that you'd love her daughter. How can you let them .."
He stood as well and interrupted her, "Andrew will spend his life looking after her. He'll make sure her family life is safe, secure and loving. When the time comes he'll become her watcher, he'll train her and do everything in his power to help his daughter as a Slayer and a person. Please believe me; I know what that kind of love can mean and what it can cost."
He picked up his duffel and started for the door, "I'll wait for Ethan outside."
~~~*~~~
Spike held Willow until she finally fell asleep in his arms.
Poor Giles, he thought, to be separated from the people you love.
He looked down at the sleeping girl and whispered, "not a mistake I'll ever make again."
~Epilog~
(14 years later)
Madeline Wilkens was used to taking the castoffs of the Sydney school system to fill the positions in Graceville. Not many qualified people were willing to come this far inland. Not that this was really the outback, but it did get lonely at times. But this new applicant, he was something different.
"Mr. McKay, I see from your transcripts that you have a first class degree from Cambridge. If I might ask, why would you want to be librarian in a public high school so far away from the beaten path?"
"I spent a good amount of time in Sydney as you can see from my resume, but I noticed that a lot of people are moving from big city jobs to smaller towns like Graceville. I thought it sounded like a good idea."
She was still not sure he would take the job and steeled herself when she told him the salary, half what a man with his qualifications should expect. He smiled, said yes, shook her hand and left. She sat at her desk for at least five minutes trying to figure him out. Then her phone rang and she went back to the cares and worries of a small town Australian education system administrator.
He drove by the house, they'd settled in nicely since last week. She probably enrolled Monday, so she'd already be there when he took over next week.
He continued to drive out of town and into the arid ranch land surrounding it. He stopped at a small rise overlooking a large depression in the red sandy soil. He parked in the small lot, which was almost indistinguishable from the surrounding hard red dirt. He walked to the railing at the edge and looked at the faded official looking metal sign.
'Devils Dwelling - the name of this abnormally symmetric sinkhole is the early settler's translation of the aboriginal name for this feature. The legends have it that a shaman with powerful magic plugged this portal to the netherworld and thus prevented demons and devils from over running the world. The legend goes on to state that the devil was not defeated but is only resting to enable him to come again and test the power of the original people.'
Andrew gazed into the hole and noticed wisps of vapor coming from several new looking cracks. He sensed someone come up beside him and lean on the railing.
An elderly native Australian man stood next to him, his white hair contrasted with his deep dark skin. He was dressed in faded tan shorts and shirt with sandals on his bare feet.
He looked at Andrew, "they are coming soon," it was a statement not a question.
"Will we be ready?" he asked.
Andrew gave a grim smile and nodded.
END