(1)

The powerful arm lashed out throwing Buffy across the room and into the wall. She paused for a moment to shake off the collision and launched herself back across the room.

In mid air, she delivered a staggering kick to her opponent's head. Following up her advantage, she advanced aiming another vicious kick at the
shadowy figure.  This time before she could react, her ankle was caught in a vice-like grip.  She came twisting down out of the air and lay half-stunned on the floor. A shadow moved to cover her body and a large pale hand reached down.

Cordelia sat up and frantically looked around.  When she saw that she was in her own bed in her own apartment, she relaxed.

This was the second night she'd had this dream well not exactly this dream. Tonight was more like chapter two.  Buffy was fighting some mysterious figure she couldn't make out, and not dong a very good job of it either.

She was relieved that it wasn't one of her migraine inducing visions. She so didn't want to bring her work home from the office.

The slow opening of her bedroom door interrupted her thoughts.  When she realized there was no one there, she let out a sigh and fell back onto her pillows.

"It was just a dream Dennis, like last night, " she said speaking toward the open door.

She paused and then added, "no it wasn't one of the vision ones, I feel OK, except for being tired."

She'd found herself increasingly able to sense her ghostly room mate's feelings.  Maybe it was because of the visions, but she could almost hold a
normal conversation with him now.  If talking with a ghost is normal.  Of course, she thought, I do work for a two hundred-year-old dead guy.
Correction, she smiled to herself, a two hundred-year-old cute dead guy.

In another moment, she looked up to see a coffee cup suspended in mid air in the doorway.

"OK, if you're making it, I'll have decaf, " she said getting out of bed and searching for her slippers.

The coffee maker was gurgling when she came into the kitchen.  She stretched and yawned before she sat in one of the two wooden chairs at the tiny round table.

She glanced toward the coffee maker, "OK what is it?"

"I'm getting these 'I'm pissed' vibes and it's too late, ' she glanced at the wall clock and winced, "or too early to deal with this."

She felt something pluck at the sleeve of the sweatshirt she was wearing.

"Not this again, " she said wearily.

"I like to be comfortable when I sleep." In her mind, she added 'alone' to the sentence.

She looked down at the faded boxers and scruffy slippers and sighed.

How did this happen, she thought.  Cordelia Chase dressed like this, alone or not, this was not right.

"OK I'll make a deal.  Tomorrow the white lace nightgown and robe."

She cocked her head as if trying to catch a faint voice.

She smiled and her cheeks turned the faintest pink, "alright, the red satin tomorrow and then the white."

She murmured to herself, " a girl does have to keep up appearances and " she smiled, " a girl does like to be admired."

Her smile faded, as she thought how Angel never seemed to notice what she wore.

She turned her head, "no I was not thinking of him.  Where's this damned coffee anyway?"

When she got to the office, she smiled when she smelled the coffee.  It had taken them a few coffee-less mornings to realize that she wasn't their mother or their maid.

She'd looked at her reflection as she paused at the hotel doors.  Burgundy leather slit skirt, black cropped roll neck sweater, Prada bag (knock off),
Prada boots (real) and a charcoal gray sweater coat.

"Damn, I look good, " she said to herself thinking of all the cottage cheese dinners she'd had to eat to afford those boots.

She was going through the mail when Angel came down from his room.  Wesley and Fred were working on some gizmo for tracking trolls or moles or whatever. Gunn was reading the paper, looking for something that might lead to a job.

The mail didn't seem to contain anything but junk and bills.  The answering machine was blank.  They had a fair amount of money in the bank, thanks to a grateful father.  His daughter had gotten a little further into the Goth scene than was safe.  When the monsters are real, it's not a game anymore.

Angel cleared his throat, "I ah have something to say.  Since we don't have anything urgent going just now."

Cordelia rolled her eyes.

"And, " he continued, " since we have some money in the bank,"

Cordelia growled.

He glanced at her, " a little money in the bank.  I thought it would be a good idea to shut down for a while and we all could take a little time off."

He looked around at the stunned faces of Wesley, Fred and Gunn.  Then he caught Cordelia's deadly stare.

"I forgot to say, " he began again, "at full salary of course."

Cordelia's face relaxed.

"How long did you…" Wesley started to ask.

"I thought two weeks starting tomorrow would be good."

The rest of the day was filled with conversation about vacation plans.  Gunn had some friends in San Francisco he wanted to see.  Wesley and Fred thought they'd stay around town. They could work on a few ideas that they had and play at being tourists in LA.

Cordelia watched the way they kept sneaking glances at one another and wondered what were some of these ideas they wanted to work on.

All Angel would say was that he was going out of town and might be gone for the whole two weeks.

Cordelia was intentionally vague.  If Wesley and Fred were going to be up to what she thought, she didn't want to be within ten miles of the hotel.
Unfortunately, this thought came with a mental image, ewwww, she thought as she tried to empty her mind.

She didn't know whether she wanted to go anywhere.  Every motel bill or plane ticket was one more item subtracted from her 'absolutely must have' shopping list.  She'd have to think about this.

The next morning she was in a borrowed car fighting the incoming LA commuters.  She may not have known what to do when she went to bed last
night, but she did now.  She merged off the freeway onto a four-lane ramp. She checked the signs and took the second exit.  The one that said 'Sunnydale 200 mi.".  She had to go where she was needed.
 

(2)

Angel sat behind his desk and watched through the open door as the others discussed their plans.  Lucky we had that case and were a little ahead
financially, he thought.  He didn't want to just disappear and have to answer their questions, but he had to go.  He glanced at the phone remembering last night's call.

He looked at the ringing phone and then out to the lobby.  He could see the door just closing behind Cordelia.  Muttering to himself, he picked up the receiver.

"Angel Investigations, " he said without enthusiasm.

"Angel, is that really you?" an excited voice asked breathlessly.

"Who is th….."

"I had to call you, I looked into the secret part of Buffy's book and I found your number.  You've got to come.  Willow and Tara fought over Willow's
spells and Tara left but Amy came back and they were doing magic all the time and ended up in some spell crack house.  Then she summoned the demon and we had the car accident and Buffy told her off, but now they're fighting over Spike.  I think they both were .. you know 'seeing him' and now they don't talk any more.  Xander doesn't care because he's marrying Anya and…. "

"Dawn, slow down, " Angel interrupted.

"Let's start at the beginning and go slowly, please."

"I guess it all started when Willow used a really powerful spell to bring Buffy back, but she wasn't the same and …."

After she had finished, he knew he had to go.

When Buffy returned, she'd come to see him.  He knew she was upset, but returning was a shock and he was sure that she would adjust.  At least that's what he'd told himself.  He tried to comfort her, but did he really listen to her and did he want to?

She'd never gone into the details of where she had gone and what had happened to her there.  More importantly, he hadn't pressed her.  He didn't want to know.   He was afraid of what he might find out.

When she'd gone, he had a gnawing feeling that something was wrong, that somehow she was different.  Now he had to find out.

He was brought back to the present by an enthusiastic conversation in the lobby between Wesley and Fred on the best order to approach the attractions at Disneyland.  He smiled as he saw Cordelia roll her eyes.  He leaned back and checked the clock, he'd leave when the rest had gone.  There would be fewer questions.

Cordelia hummed to herself as she changed into the red satin nightgown.  Two whole weeks and at full salary too.  It was almost like being paid to shop. She smiled at her reflection in the full-length mirror.  Climbing into bed, she decided that Dennis was right, she felt better when she looked her best.

Buffy lay partially stunned as the large hand reached down for her.  At the last minute, she spun and kicked out.  The figure fell back as she jumped to her feet.

Suddenly, Cordelia's field of view changed.  She could see more of the space. It looked like an old garage with an oil stained cement floor.  She also
could make out another figure, this one lying face down against a wall.  Its clothes were nondescript jeans and a sweater, but the red hair shone in the glare of the single overhead light.

Cordelia's viewpoint changed again and now she could see Buffy's opponent rising warily from the floor.  It was Angel in full vampire face.

That was the image in her mind as she awoke.  She spent the rest of the night packing and running through the list of all the friends who might loan her a car.

Cordelia pulled into a rest stop just before the Sunnydale exit.  She'd spent the drive thinking of who would be the best person to approach and had
decided on Xander.  Once the Cordelia bug has bitten them, they're never really cured, at least that's what she told herself.

She leafed through the Sunnydale directory, " whoa, out of the basement and into his own apartment, " she murmured as she scribbled down an address.

Angel parked his car on a side street and crossed the backyards keeping to the shadows.  His first stop at Spike's crypt had been a total loss.  Judging from the dust and clutter, he hadn't spent much time there lately.  Then he remembered part of Dawn's conversation and headed back to the car.

He silently scaled the trellis and dropped onto the balcony out of sight of the French windows and smiled as he heard a familiar cockney accent.
 

(3)

Xander sat on the bed in tee shirt and boxers listening to Anya shower.  He pictured her running the hand held nozzle over her body rinsing off the froth of suds that clung to the little hard to reach places.  It had been almost a week since they'd made love and the images in his mind were having a decided affect on his body.  He shifted around trying to find a comfortable position.

He unconsciously ran his thumb along his hardness as he considered the current state of their love life.  A week was the longest they had ever gone. The new job with all that extra responsibility, now that he was assistant supervisor on the site, he just didn't seem to have the time or the energy. This morning would be different, he grinned and walked to the bathroom door.

"Hey, cool it with the shower massage and save something for me."

Anya jerked her hand away and directed the spray at her feet.

"Damn, " she muttered, " why am I feeling guilty?  He's the one that never has time any more. "

Then it sunk in, he was being playful.  Maybe this morning ……

She began to hurriedly rinse off.

She had to keep this mood going.  She had to say something.

"Be right out, " she called, " I want to see my future husband, father of my children and breadwinner before he goes off to his new higher paying job.

She shut off the water and grabbed a towel.

"With you on the way up, we can get married sooner and have lots of kids and a new house and a new bigger bed and …."

She heard the apartment door click closed.

It had taken only a moment for visions of kids, a house, a mortgage and all that went with it to cause some drastic changes.  His boxers weren't nearly so tight anymore and he started to hyperventilate over visions of highchairs and braces and ….

He pulled on his jeans, grabbed a shirt and his boots and made, what seemed to him, a narrow escape.  On the way down the outside stairs, he managed to pull on his boots and find his keys.

Anya stood in the empty room and frowned, "what the hell is going on?" she muttered.

She sighed when she saw his lunch box still on the table.  She took it with the hopes of catching him downstairs.

She stood on the front walk and saw his car heading away down the block.  A squeal of tires made her turn and she noticed a silver car had cut off a station wagon by pulling out of a parking space across the street.  As the car went by, she noticed a bumper sticker for an LA radio station.

"That explains a lot, " she said to herself, " LA driver."

Cordelia was sitting across from Xander's address when she saw him come flying down the stairs and tumble into one of the cars parked in the small
lot next to the building.

Whoa, she thought, someone must be late.  Taking a closer look, she thought, somebody's been working out, nice chest and shoulders.

Ok, not here to window shop, she thought as his car pulled out into traffic. She pulled behind him deaf to the squeal of tires behind her.  She didn't
notice the figure standing in front of his building as she sped up to catch him at the next corner.

After he had given out the assignments for the day and looked at a few of the problem areas, Xander sat on the bench outside the construction office trailer.

"What is wrong with me?' he said to himself.  "A perfect opportunity to end the dry spell and I run off like some teenager afraid that ….."

"Nailed anything good lately construction boy?" a familiar voice asked.

He looked up in surprise, "Cordy, is that you?"

She smiled and stepped closer, " I had to be in town for a day or so and I was driving by and thought I saw a familiar face so I stopped.  Is that OK?" she asked looking around.

"Sure, sure, how have you been, what brings you to Sunnydale from big bad LA? Miss me? " he said wiggling his eyebrows.

She sighed, "won't you ever grow up?"

"Construction seems to agree with you, " she said motioning toward his chest.

He smiled, "I started as a carpenter, as good as a gym and they pay you.  Now I've got to watch out.  I don't get the same amount of exercise as the new assistant site manager."

"That's great."

"Would you like to look around?"

"Sure, " she replied.

He gave her a hard hat and a pair of safety glasses.  As she put them on, he took a good look at her.

Cropped white T-shirt under a blue open shirt, low rise jeans and boots, she looked better than ever he thought.  He'd forgotten how beautiful she was.

"You look terrific, " he said.  He couldn't help but linger over those long legs and that tight butt and those big beautiful…..

"Is it hard?" she asked.

Blushing, he quickly picked up a clipboard and held it in front of himself.

"Ah….. wha…. What did you say?" he stumbled.

"Supervising such a big job, is it hard?" she said.

He took a deep breath and let it out slowly, " it's easier that you think if you have a good crew."

As he turned to take her on the tour, he thought he noticed just the ghost of a twinkle in her eye and a tiny smile.

Anya busied herself tidying the shop and double checking the register.  As the morning wore on, she spent more and more time thinking about Xander. When she caught herself giving too much change for a sale, she knew it was time to do something.

Willow answered the phone on the second ring.

"This is Anya, I almost made a terrible mistake.  I need you to come to the shop."

Willow's first reaction was to grab her keys and run, but then this was Anya.

"What terrible thing?" Willow asked.

"I.. ah .. almost gave a customer change for a twenty instead of a ten,' she said in a shocked voice.

"You almost gave the wrong change?" Willow questioned.

"I know, I could hardly believe it myself,' Anya continued.  "It's Xander, I need to talk to him and he left his lunch at home."

"And I fit into this how?" a puzzled Willow responded.

"If you can come and look after the shop for a while, I can bring him lunch at the construction site and we could talk then."

Willow agreed to come before lunch.

Xander and Cordelia were back at the construction trailer after the tour.

"You're in charge of all this?" Cordelia asked again.

"Well, I'm the assistant, but the boss spends most of his time at the home office, so I guess I really am in charge, surprised?"

"Things certainly have changed, ' she said shaking her head.

"I'm sorry Cordy, I've been talking about myself all morning.  How are things with you in LA?  Will told me dark and broody is in an old hotel, is that
where you live too?"

"Not on your life.  An actress staying in a run down old hotel, I'd be a Hollywood cliché.  I have a very nice apartment."

"Room mates?"

She looked away, " no, not any live ones anyway."

Xander's eyes flashed, " damn him, first Buffy and now you.  I thought you'd see through all his dark and moody crap."

"Calm down, I meant dead not undead, he's a ghost.  He came with the apartment."

Xander looked embarrassed, " oh, sorry."

Trying to change the subject, he asked, " how's Wesley doing?"

"He's unbent a lot, no ties and no suits.  He even ran the office on his own for a while."

"Another of Cordelia's conquests, anything between you two?"

"No, but I think he and Fred are hitting it off, two smart and kinda strange people, made for each other."

"Fred?  Did you say Fred?  I always had my suspicions.  Wesley always seemed a little too English, if you know what I mean."

Cordelia favored him with her well remembered ' get a clue' look, " Fred might be smart and odd, but she is a girl."

"She's part of the group now, we rescued her from an alternate dimension where they made me a princess and Angel could walk around in the sun.  You see, I had all these jewels and all I had to do was boink some big handsome stud and since the action on the boinking front had been  kinda slow, it didn't seem like a  bad idea."

Xander was staring at her wide eyed, " you were a princess and Angel was normal?  How did you get ….."

"We took Angel's car, but we lost the book and..  I guess it's sort of hard to believe."

"Are you alright, was anyone hurt?" he asked.

"Well one of our friends had his head cut off, but luckily it wasn't serious."

Xander's eyes had glazed over, but he was brought back to reality by a shout from above.

"Hey boss, we need you to look at this beam, I think they sent us the wrong stuff again."

He got up from the bench, "I have to go and take care of this now, but I'd really like to hear the rest of your story.  Could you come back around lunch time?  My treat," he said with a grin.

"Great, my business should be finished by then.  Maybe you can tell me how the rest of the Scoobies are doing and tell me more about how things are going for you."

He lowered his eyes, he hadn't told her about Anya, not even that they were living together let alone that they were engaged.

"Yeah, there are a few things I need to tell you."

She gave him a hug and kissed him on the cheek, " it really was good to see you."

She ran her hand across his chest, " this is so amazing," she said then she turned and walked back to her car.

Xander watched her until she drove off.

~~~*~~~

Anya was carrying a bag of Xander's favorite Chinese food as she approached the trailer.

She saw a familiar face, " hi, is Xander around?"

The man gestured toward the street, " you just missed them."

She turned just in time to see a silver car with a distinctive bumper sticker pull into the street.

Turning back, she asked, " did you say them?"

"Yeah, him and a chick.  The same one who was with him this morning.  I wished I had friends like her.  Built like a brick …"

Anya's expression tightened.  She handed him the bag, " have some lunch, I don't think either one of us will be wanting it now."
 

(4)

Willow's attention was fixed on the screen of her laptop as she puzzled through the history take home exam.  She'd been working since dawn on the
work she needed to complete to catch up to those students who hadn't missed class to bring their best friend back from the dead.

The spell addiction hadn't helped either.  She was thankful that she hadn't used magic on her schoolwork. She shuddered when she thought she might have betrayed all she had worked for over the years with one thoughtless act.

Without thinking, she glanced over her shoulder at Spike stretched out on her bed and the chill was replaced by a warm glow.  She knew she couldn't have made it this far without him. She smiled and closed her eyes thinking of last night.  After a moment, she shook her head and returned to her work.

If she'd turned away a few moments later, she would have seen Spike's eyes snap open and his body tense as if he'd received some sort of a shock.

"Red, I think I'll step out for a smoke," he said pushing himself up.

"Don't work too hard luv, " he called back as he pushed the door closed.

Keeping to the shadows near the house, he snapped his lighter and took a deep drag.

"What the bloody hell are you doing here?" he asked his sire.  "A little warning would have been nice, first I knew was a jolt that felt like I pissed
on the bloody mains."

"You always had a way with words, " Angel said with a grin.  "So it's true about you and red?"

Spike looked away, " yeah, I helped her out when things were pretty bad for her.  I don't know who ended up the worst from the recovery spell her or the Slayer."

"What do you mean?" Angel asked.

Spike told him about Willow's downward spiral after Buffy's return.  He reported the fights with Tara and the accident with Dawn.

"She was in a bad way.  She needed someone and I thought it might give me something to do.  This bloody chip cuts down on my options, you know."

Angel gave him a skeptical look, " just for something to do?  Right, and now I find you stretched out on her bed first thing in the morning."

Spike lit another cigarette, " you were always good at jumping to sodding conclusions, just because I'm here you think I'm…."

"Screwing me, " a voice said from behind them.

Willow stood at the door to the balcony, her eyes were flashing and her face was flushed.

Angel started to say something.

Willow concentrated her gaze on him, " good morning to you too Angel, nice of you to drop by.  It's been a while since someone came by to pass judgement on my sex life."

She turned to Spike, " and you.  I know I'm not Drusilla or Buffy, but I thought you might at least not be ashamed to acknowledge our relationship."

Angel took a step toward her, "Willow, I'm not here too criticize.  I'm sorry …"

"Red, " Spike said, " I was just surprised by Angel, I didn't mean to.."

Willow turned back toward the room, " I'm going out.  Anya asked me to go and help her at the shop."

She paused and looked back, "maybe we can start over again when I get back."

Angel and Spike looked at one another as they listened to slamming doors followed by squealing tires.

"I think that went well, " Angel said with a smile.

"You had to come here and stick your effing nose in …"

Angel's eyes narrowed as he pushed Spike against the wall, " don't ever forget who I am William.  Do you understand?"

"Ok, Ok, sorry, it's been a long time." Spike said, " but admit it, it's not me that's got your knickers in a twist."

Angel put his hands down and stepped back, " I guess I may have over reacted. I'm concerned about some of the things that have been happening here."

He leaned back against the railing, " fill me in, start with the recovery spell."

"Not at all, I'm sure I can find something that's not fried or covered in melted cheese, just give me a minute," Cordelia said as she prepared to go
over the menu again in detail.

"Sorry," Xander said, " I guess it is kind of a working guy's place."

"Well that's what you are isn't it, a working guy?" she said with a smile. "I'll bet you don't get to spend all that quality time with Buffy and Willow
and the rest any more."

"Mostly night time stuff, luckily vampires are nightshift workers.  It works out pretty well really," he responded.

She decided on a salad with just oil and vinegar.  The waitress looked at her like she'd insulted the chef and added a 'now I've seen everything' look when she asked for bottled water.  The waitress's mood improved considerably, however, with Xander's double cheeseburger, fries and chocolate shake.

"It is such a thrill to be back in the sticks, " Cordelia said to the waitress's retreating figure.

She turned back to Xander, " Angel told me that Buffy was back and all, but I don't understand.  Can you fill me in on what's been going on?"

"When Buffy died, Willow started researching a way to recover her from wherever she had gone.  Of course, she didn't tell any of us exactly what she was working on.  Now there was this really gross bunch of demon bikers trying to take over town.  Things were rough, but I was doing my best to fight them off when ……."

Buffy was in her room.  She was in bed hovering on the edge between sleep and consciousness.  She'd found her self sleeping more and more.  Why get up, she thought to herself, where would you go, what would you do?

Her life seemed to consist entirely of sleeping, eating (when she thought of it) and patrolling.  What else was there to do, she thought?  I can't see
Spike because of Willow.  That makes me not want to see Willow.  Xander and Anya are completely wrapped up in themselves and the wedding.  I only see Dawn when something's wrong at school or she gets pissed because she can't do something.  Giles is gone and Angel.  She felt a faint tingle thinking of him.  He's in LA and anyway there's the curse.  That fucking curse, she thought as she drifted down into sleep.

"Who's the Slayer?" a voice in her head demanded.

"Me, I'm the Slayer, " she heard her own voice reply.

"You?  Don't make me laugh, " the voice continued.  It was a deep resonant voice, that  she didn't recognize.

Continuing in a cruel parody of her own voice, it said, " oh my, I can't see Spike because I promised Willow and I can't upset her.  I'm so sad my little sister is pissed at me and Xander and Anya are too busy.  What am I to do?"

"For God's sake Slayer, snap out of it!" the voice shouted.

"But my friends …"

"Your friends, what have your friends done for you?  Rip you out of the very arms of heaven?  Steal the only physical pleasure you had?  Turn their back, run away, demand protection, attention?  Steal your life, steal your power, steal your will?"

She heard another familiar voice, " come on B, you know the score.  We're Slayers, the rules don't apply to us.  We're the big bad and they know it."

"Faith," she muttered as she drifted away into a deeper dreamless sleep, " maybe you were right."
 

(5)

Willow turned when she heard the door open, "Anya how did .."  The slamming of the door cut off the rest.

Anya stalked to the table and sat down.

Willow followed and took a seat next to her.  Closer now, she could see the high color in her friends cheeks and the tears in her eyes.

"What is it Anya, what happened?" Willow asked in a soft sympathetic tone.

"I'll tell you what happened, Xander and some LA whore that's what happened."

Anya took a deep breath, " you think you know someone then they spend all morning with some brick outbuilding and then go off to God knows where while you bring his favorite lunch and when you get there he's out at some motel or other sex place having intercourse and giving your orgasms away like .. like.. "

Willow took advantage of the pause, "Anya, calm down and take another breath. That's right a nice deep one, now another.  That's it now in and out, in and out."

Anya's face crumpled into tears, " in and out, we used to be in and out and now someone else is …"

Willow held her as her sobs increased, " Ok, it's Ok to cry.  We can talk about this when you feel better." After a few minutes, her crying slowed to the point that Willow could offer her some tissues.  Anya wiped her face and eyes and blew her nose.

"Feel better now?" Willow asked.

Anya nodded while still holding a fist full of tissues just in case.

"Let's start at the beginning.  Xander wasn't there when you brought his lunch, right?"

She nodded again.

"Good.  You think he was with some woman?"

Anya gave her a black look.

"With some whore?"

Anya gave a thin smile.

"Help me with this part, where does the brick building come in?"

Anya held the tissues to her nose, " she was there all morning and one of the men said she was built like a .."

"Ok, now I get it.  So Xander talked to this person and then at lunch time went somewhere?"

Anya nodded.

"Did the man you talked to tell you the person was from LA?"

Anya shook her head, " I saw the car leave, and it had an LA bumper sticker."

Willow paused for a moment, " Did you consider the possibility that they left at lunch time just to go to lunch?"

She shook her head.

Willow had a thought, LA + brick you know what + Xander.

"Cordelia, " she said. "I'll bet you it was Cordy visiting from LA.  She probably just stumbled on to him and stopped to say hello.  She was never too
shy to turn down a free meal either.  I bet that's it."

"Do you really think so?" Anya asked doubtfully.

"I'm sure that's who it is.  Xander wouldn't go off with some stranger.  He and Cordy are friends, you remember them in high school right?"

Anya started to smile, " I remember when I met her, she wanted revenge because her boyfriend had kissed some skanky ho……"

Her face fell again, "her boyfriend was Xander, I knew it.  She is after him I just know it, " Anya said as she teared up again.

Willow put a finger under her chin and tipped her face up until she could look straight into her eyes, " there's nothing there anymore but friendship,
believe me."

"Are you sure?" Anya asked uncertainly.

Willow smiled grimly, " take it from the skanky ho herself."

Spike paused, " and now I'm staying around here to be close to Red if anything should happen."

"Yeah, you can catch her if she starts to fall out of bed, " Angel said sarcastically.

Spike turned away and lit another cigarette.

"Don't pout, it's a little weird, but if Willow's Ok with it, " Angel said with a shrug.

"Thanks for the bloody vote of confidence, " the other vampire replied.

Angel smiled, " now tell me again about Buffy, how does she really seem?  I mean what do you think?  You've been around her enough since she's been back, have you picked up on anything different or strange?"

"It's not like we're all that close," he objected.

"I know, she always had a hard on for you.  She just doesn't appreciate your charm I suppose.  At least that hasn't changed."

A cold chill ran through Spike at the thought of what his sire would do if he learned the truth about him and the Slayer.

"Not bloody likely, " Spike quickly agreed.

"Are you sure you haven't felt anything?  I know that when I saw her just after she returned, I felt something.  It was subtle and I dismissed it given the circumstances, but now I'm not so sure."

"I don't know, so much has happened.  Willow and Tara breaking up and idiot boy and the demon getting married. There's a match made in heaven, " Spike said trying to change the subject.

Angel stepped closer and peered into Spike's face.  The younger vampire half turned away and Angel grabbed his wrist.

Angel pulled him back around, " there is something and you're trying to hide it from me."

He tightened his grip and shoved Spike against the wall, " you've got ten seconds to tell me what it is or I'm going to get angry.  You remember what happens when I get angry don't you?"

Spike nodded slowly and cleared his throat.
 

(6)

Another fun evening, Buffy thought to herself as she trudged through one more back alley.  She'd heard that a new pair of vamps had set up shop in the neighborhood and she was hoping for a little excitement.

She'd almost given up when she heard a shout from the opposite end of the alley.

She arrived in time to see two vamps, an unusual boy / girl pair, menacing a college age youth in a U of C Sunnydale sweatshirt.

"Can I play too, " she asked in an little girl voice.

The male vamp turned and smiled, " you just wait your turn sweetness.  Maybe me you and Tiffany here can have a little party after we finish our snack. What do you think Tiff?"

The dark haired female eyed Buffy for a moment, " a little skinny, but what the hell I haven't had a threesome in a long time."

The pair turned back to the boy.

"Sorry, " Buffy said, " as flattering as your offer is … I don't think so."

The male shook his head, "Tiff shut her up."

The female jumped at Buffy and was met with a kick that shot her back into her partner who looked up in amazement.

Two quick strides and one tricky hand change with Mr. Pointy and two clouds of dust were all that remained of the vampire pair.

"What was that?  Who are you?  I don't .." their former victim stammered.

"It's a long story so why don't you…" Buffy started then paused.

She felt odd, it was as if she had an itch that she couldn't scratch and it was getting stronger.

"B, don't tell me you don't feel it after a kill.  The feeling you could do anything and anybody.  Tell the truth, wouldn't you like a rough no strings
no holds barred fuck right now?"

Buffy recognized Faith's voice.

"I..ah..guess I should go now, I'm supposed to be.."  the boy mumbled as he slid past her along the wall.

Buffy reached out and grabbed the front of his sweatshirt, "what's your hurry, haven't you ever heard of gratitude?"

She pressed him against the wall and kissed him.  It was more like an invasion of his mouth.  Her tongue was everywhere licking and probing.  She
pressed her breasts up against his chest and felt her nipples harden.  She slid a hand down between them and felt him stiffen.

Then as if a switch had been flipped, she pushed away from him wiping her mouth on the back of her hand.

"Beat it, get out of here, " she shouted at the shocked boy.

She didn't look up as she heard the running footsteps disappear in the distance.

"Quite the battle, isn't it?" asked the same deep resonant voice she'd heard earlier.

She turned and could just make out a shadowy figure in the doorway of the building across the alley.

"Who are you? " she demanded moving closer.

"I think that's close enough, " the figure said.

She halted, later she'd wonder why she obeyed the command, but at the time she did it without thinking.

"Who I am seems to be less important than who you are, " he continued.

"I'm the Slayer," she replied.

"Are you really?  You slay, that's true, but are you the Slayer or are you just a frightened little girl trying desperately to please?"

"Please?" she asked, " desperate to please who?"

"Who?  Why everyone.  You're a tame attack dog to your friends, fighting at their direction and on their terms.  You played the loyal friend to Willow
giving up the only source of real pleasure in your life to the person who ripped you from heaven and sentenced you to hell. You were a child seeking approval from your surrogate father Giles.  You were a whore for Riley giving him with your body what you couldn't give with your heart.  Angel, yes for Angel you were the virgin slut, all repressed desire and imitation virtue. Everything for them and nothing for you."

"What did you ever do for Buffy Anne Summers?  You had a friend, I believe, a colleague who had a different philosophy of life."

Buffy spoke up, " and what happened to her?  She's in jail."

"Who's to say what anyone's ending will be, even yours.  She lived life on her own terms, she had power and she used it her way.  Will you be able to say the same?"

Buffy stood thinking for a moment," I've got a question, what's in it for you, or are you just a wandering motivational speaker?"

Hearing no reply, Buffy quickly covered the short distance to the shadowed doorway.  It was empty.

As she walked home, a familiar voice returned, " B, they all want me to be like you, but I'm the only one who knows how close you are to being me.  I wonder what it would take?  Maybe we'll both find out some day."

Angel and Spike moved into Willow's room.  Angel took the most comfortable chair, Spike sat on the bed.

"Are you satisfied now?" Angel asked.  "Am I calm enough?"

Spike nodded.

"Now tell me," Angel said.

"The circumstances aren't important, but I grabbed her and nothing happened," Spike said in a hesitant voice.

"What do you mean, 'nothing happened?"

"The bloody chip, nothing happened.  I didn't feel anything, no pain."

"Are you sure it's still working?"

Spike nodded, "Willow let me pinch her, I had a headache all night."

"Then Buffy …"

"Isn't totally human," Spike finished the thought.

Angel stood, " I've got to make a call, where's the phone?"

Spike pointed to the desk and Angel picked up the receiver.

It had taken most of the afternoon, but Anya was finally back to work.

Willow was leafing through a magic handbook at the table, but she hadn't read a word.  Angel and Cordelia both in Sunnydale at the same time, she thought, something serious is going on and she was going to find out what it is.
 

(7)

Anya was unpacking some artifacts, and doing it none too gently judging from the sounds coming from the storeroom.  Willow looked up as the door opened and immediately put a finger to her lips.

Xander gave her a puzzled look.

"Will, " he said softly, " what's up, where's Anya."

"She's in the storeroom using packing cases as Xander substitutes."  Just then, the grinding and tearing sound of wood being splintered interrupted her.

Xander flinched and gave Willow an anxious look.

"What did I do?" he asked.

"How about schmoosing Cordelia all morning then taking her out for a long lunch in the afternoon, Mr. Fiancé, " she said with irritation.

Xander was speechless; he looked at her in wide-eyed amazement.

"How did … who told .. " he stuttered.

"Your loving girlfriend had me come to watch the shop while she delivered her sweetie's favorite Chinese food for a surprise lunch time picnic.  Of course said sweetie was off with his old girl friend leaving his fiancé holding a bag of cold Lo Mein."

"Oh shit, " Xander said as he walked over and collapsed into one of the chairs around the reading table.

"How bad is it?" he asked fearfully.

"It was pretty bad until I figured out that it was Cordelia from the description that the workmen gave Anya.  Then I spent an hour convincing her
that there couldn't be anything between you two.  I told her that you were less than dirt to her and that she wouldn't walk across the street to pee on you if you were on fire.  That you were the lowest form…"

"Ok Will, I get the picture, " he muttered, " but do you have to be so damn enthusiastic?"

"What exactly was Cordelia doing in Sunnydale?" Willow asked.

He seemed surprised by the change in subject, " Oh, she said some kind of family business, she recognized me at the site when she stopped for the light and came in on a whim."

Willow looked unconvinced, " what about lunch?"

"You know Cordy.  After she embarrassed the waitress and made her special demands, she ended up with a salad.  The rest of the time we just talked. Well I talked and she listened.  She wanted to know how Buffy was after she returned and how you were doing and, for some strange reason, what Spike was up to."

He stood and squared his shoulders, "I guess it's time to see Anya."

"Will, ah .. could you go first and make sure she's not holding a hammer or saw or some other potential weapon?"

By the time Willow felt it was safe to leave them alone, it was past closing time.  Things had started off a little heated but she had them calmed down pretty quickly, the first time that is.

She blamed herself.  Anya was calmly listening to Xander's description of perhaps the most boring lunch in history when Willow had asked a simple
question.

"Xan, where's Cordy staying while she's here?"

It seemed innocent enough.

The answer, however, was a horse of a different color.

"She's at the Blue Top Inn, " he answered.

Anya blanched, " do you mean the rooms by the hour a complimentary trapeze in every room Blue Top Inn?"

That was the bell for round two.

Finally after tears, apologies and a little more split wood, Willow made a quick and silent exit.

She thought as she walked, Cordy goes out of her way to pump Xander about Buffy, Spike and me.  In the entire time she'd been in LA, she hadn't taken the effort to make so much as a phone call to ask how we were and now she's doing personal interviews.

Something is definitely up, especially since Angel is back too.  She wondered if they were working together.

Buffy closed the door quietly behind her.  She didn't want to see anyone especially Willow or Dawn.  As she padded past the kitchen, she noticed a
note on the fridge.  It was from Dawn, she was at Willow's.  They were going to work on a paper and probably have pizza for dinner.  Buffy let go a sigh of relief and started up the stairs unbuttoning her shirt as she went.

She listened to the water running into the tub as she finished undressing. She held up her shirt and looked at the dirt ground into the back.

"One for the trash, " she muttered.

She picked her panties up off the floor and quickly wrapped them in the shirt.

"What was I thinking? " she said to herself.

Soon she was soaking in the tub, the water almost scalding and suds up to her ears.  She had to get clean, she thought.

It hadn't been on her way home, but somehow she found herself walking down a street lined with sleazy bars and sleazier bookstores and amusement arcades. It was a place Faith used to try to drag her after an especially violent fight.

She was always embarrassed but Faith liked it.  She called it the 'meat market'.  She would circulate through the bars until she found a man she
wanted.  Buffy assumed she took them back to her room, but she never stayed around long enough to find out.  She wasn't that fond of strangers grabbing her ass.

Gradually, her steps began to slow and then stopped in front of a dim neon lit cave called Satyr's.

The extreme edginess she'd felt in the alley had returned but a hundred times worse.  She felt as if her whole body were vibrating.  Her thoughts became muddled then they sank completely under the pressure of her physical need.

The inside was dim with occasional bright flashes of strobe lights.  The noise hit her like a physical blow.  The roar of shouted conversations
competed with max volume rock music.

She waded through the crowd inspecting the faces and bodies of the men she passed.  She ignored the impersonal groping as she continued on her
single-minded search.  Her gaze passed over then returned to a figure on the fringe of the tiny crowded dance floor.

He was good looking in a dark dangerous way.  He wore a black leather coat and tight t-shirt and jeans of the same color.  His features were regular but with a hint of the predator in his eyes.

She approached him and without a word took his hand and led him towards the back door.  They passed through the parking lot; weaving between the steamy windowed cars.  Beyond the lot, she pulled him into the doorway of a derelict building.

He backed her against the door pinning her with his body.  He kissed her hard and she responded opening her lips to his exploring tongue.   She felt her nipples harden against his chest and the pressure of his erection against her stomach.

She broke the kiss, " protection?"

He smiled and pulled a foil packet from his pocket.

They frantically pulled at each other's clothes.  She got his pants down to his knees and his impressive member covered while her worked her pants and panties down to her ankles.

She hissed as he buried himself with one hard motion.  He held her against the door and pistoned into her.  In a few moments, she came with a terrific shudder, but despite the pleasure she felt she didn't feel released.  Her inner vibration kept building and building as he thrust into her.  He began to grunt and moan as he increased speed.  She was afraid he would finish and leave her in this state.

She pulled him to her and twisted his shoulders pushing him off balance. They tumbled on to a small plot of bare earth next to the path.  He seemed
momentarily stunned but soon recovered as her hips set up a strong rhythm. She pounded harder and faster and the pleasure built but she couldn't reach the release that she needed.  Then she felt him struggle beneath her.  The harder he struggled the closer she got.  He was pushing and kicking now and she knew it was only a matter of moments.  Then it came; her head spun and it felt as if it would never stop.  Wave after wave of intense pleasure and more importantly intense relief flooded her.  Her rhythm slowed as she noticed his struggles lessen.  She opened her eyes and looked down.  Her forearm was tight against his throat and his eyes had turned back in his head.  He wasn't breathing.

She realized that she had slowly strangled him in order to reach her climax. His struggle wasn't some kind of sex play; he had been fighting for his life. She'd killed a man to enhance her own pleasure and at that very moment, she didn't care.

Her head was whirling with guilt and fear and, she shuddered, satisfaction as she stood and pulled on her clothes.  She knelt beside him wondering what she could do when he shook with a powerful gasp and began a ragged but steady breathing.  She waited until his eyes opened; and then, conscious of his fearful gaze, she backed away into the darkness.  She walked to the end of the alley and continued home still trying to understand what had happened.

Lying in the tub, she relived the entire episode.  She felt the guilt and the fear again, but as she remembered the way he struggled as she rode him to that earth shattering orgasm they seemed to melt away.  Her fingers set up a steady rhythm between her legs.  She closed her eyes and smiled.

next

back