~Part 1~

"Buffy, " Joyce Summers called up the stairs to her daughter, " it's for you. It's Willow."

"Will, hi.  I must have really been out of it, I didn't even hear the phone ring, " Buffy explained.

"No, I came through on call waiting.  Your Mom was on the phone, but I told her it was kinda important."

"Important?  What is it."

"It's the flu.  I started to get sick when I got home.  I called the Doctor and he said that there's some kind of strange flu going around.  It really
wipes you out and it's way contagious."

"Will, what are you going to do?  You can't stay there by yourself. Contagious or not, you're coming here, " Buffy said with feeling.

"I'll be OK, Mom had to cut her trip short.  She was here when I got home.  I might be sick, but she's really enjoying herself playing nurse.  She's kinda going overboard.  She said I have to rest so she took out my phone.  I'm on my cell now, but the batteries are getting low.  Tell everyone I love them and I'll be emailing them everyday."

They talked for a few more minutes until Willow's voice began to breakup, " there go the batteries, " Willow's voice dropped to a whisper, " and here
comes Nurse Ratchett, bye."

The next day, Saturday, Buffy received an email from Willow.  She was feeling worn out by the flu and her Mom's constant attention.

'Mom must be trying to make up for all the time she missed with me in one big chunk.  She's been cooking nonstop, but I haven't been able to keep much down.'

She continued along for another paragraph then signed off saying she was going to take a nap.

At the Magic Shop after classes on Tuesday, she found that Xander and Anya had been receiving similar updates on Willow's condition.  They had to personally fill in Giles, the ultimate PC - aphobe.

In Wednesday's message, Willow seemed to turn the corner.  She was sleeping better and she was feeling stronger.  She was starting to catch up on the assignments her professors and classmates had emailed.  She was sounding like the old Willow, she even was cutting her Mom a little slack.

On Thursday, Buffy  beat her Mom home and was considering what to do for dinner.  Should she order pizza or Chinese?  Her mind made up, she reached for the kitchen phone and heard the beeps that meant a voice mail message. Dialing in the code, she was feeling sort of disappointed.  She was looking forward to dinner with her Mom and Dawn and she knew it was her Mom saying she had to work late.  But it wasn't.

"Joyce, this is Sheila Rosenberg.  Could you ask Buffy to give my wayward daughter a message?  Ask her to please return one of her poor mother's phone messages.  I'm sitting here in Philadelphia waiting for Ira to return from some meeting.  I could use some daughter type sympathy.  Thanks Joyce, I'll have you and the girls over for dinner when we get back next week.  Remember to keep some time open, OK?  Thanks again, give my love to the girls, bye."

Buffy slowly put down the receiver.  She didn't understand, but she did know it was time to pay Willow a call.

The house was quiet when Buffy arrived.  She took the extra key from its hiding place in the window box and opened the door.

A chill went through her when she saw the mail lying on the hallway floor. She bent down and looked at a few pieces.  It was several days' deliveries at least.

She quietly went up the stairs to Willow's room.  It was empty.  She looked around her friend's room.  She checked her closet, dresser and desk.  It
looked like some clothes, her back pack and laptop were missing.  There was a light coating of dust on the desk and dresser tops.  She had probably been gone since the weekend.

Willow was gone, but where and why?

Her thoughts were interrupted by the faint sounds of footsteps.  She listened intently as the soft steps climbed the stairs.
 

~Part 2~

Buffy slid behind the partially opened door and waited.  She heard the footsteps enter the room.  With one elbow, she slammed the door closed. At
the same time, she spun the dark figure around by the shoulder and shoved it toward Willow's bed.

She strode across the room and stared down.

"Bloody hell Slayer, can't you just say hello like everybody else?"  Spike said looking up. "Or would you like to join me down here," he added with an evil grin.

The furious Slayer reached down and hoisted the surprised vampire by the front of his shirt.

"Where is she?  Tell me or so help me you'll wish I'd staked you when you came in."

"Where is who?" Spike asked.

"Nice try blondie, " she said letting go of his shirt and putting her boot up on the bed and locating it between his legs.

"The truth or you'll be singing soprano, " she said lowering her foot a half inch.

He lay back and stretched, putting his hands behind his head gazing up with a sly grin, " the threat would be more effective luv without the mini skirt."

She quickly looked down and started to move back.  Spike swiftly took advantage by pushing up from the bed and grabbing her by the ankle.  He threw her over onto the floor and fell on her holding her spread-eagled under him.

He struggled to hold her down, " Slayer, as nice as this feels how about a truce?  We can share information.  I'm going to let you loose and move back and sit on the bed, OK?"

She was too angry to speak, but she nodded.

Soon she was staring at him from across the room.

"How did you get in here? " Buffy demanded.

"Through the bleeding door, how else, " he responded sarcastically.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, " OK Spike, this is too important to screw around with.  How did you get invited in?"

He looked uneasy, " Willow invited me in a while back."

"Why would she do something so stupid?"

"For the company, " he snapped.  "Did you ever think she might like to spend time with someone different?  With you lot, it was always research this and hack that; it was patrols and training.  Everything had to revolve around the Slayer and her holy mission.  Sometimes she just got bloody tired of it."

Shocked, Buffy was silent.  Her face softened as she thought about what he had said.

"But she never said anything, " she said halfheartedly.

"She knew no one would listen, " he replied softly.

He watched the emotions play across her face as her expression saddened.

"Don't go all weepy on me now, " he said.  "She didn't think it was so bad, she just needed a change sometimes.  Someone different to talk to."

"What could you talk to her about?  You don't know anything about computers or math or science or …."

He interrupted, " that's just it.  Those things weren't her whole life.  You lot couldn't see beyond your idea of Willow."

"Well what did you talk about?" Buffy asked.

He rose from the bed and walked over to the French doors.  He pushed one open and took out a cigarette.

He smiled as he lit it, " it was one of our rules.  I had to stand by the window when I smoked."

"You were here in her bedroom?" she said with disbelief.

"Sometimes she couldn't sleep and I'd come up late at night and we'd talk."

"In her bedroom?" she repeated with emphasis.

"Get your mind out of the sodding gutter.  We talked, that's all." He said angrily.

"Anyway, do you want to keep up the third degree or try and find out where she is?"

Buffy told him about the phone call last Friday and the emails that had been sent during the week.

"The last time I saw her was last Friday at school, the last time I heard her voice was the call that night."

Spike slowly shook his head, "She wasn't here making any phone calls Friday night.  She was with me until after midnight. "
 

~Part 3~

"With you?  Where? Doing what?"  Buffy asked.

"We were at my place in the cemetery.  We talked, I had a drink or two, she stayed with ginger ale."

"What about the phone call.  I know she made that call to me Friday."

Spike turned toward the open French door and lit another cigarette.

"Spike, what's going on?  What happened Friday?" she demanded.

He walked out onto the balcony and leaned against the railing looking out across the suburban landscape lit only by moonlight.

She followed him out and stood against the railing a few feet away and silently gazed at the same view.

"She made the call from my place, " he said in a low voice still staring out into the night.

"She showed up around five, she had her back pack and laptop.  I thought she had just come from class."

Buffy gripped the railing tighter, but remained silent.

"We talked for a while, nothing in particular.  Then she asked me to tell her about some of my old 'road trips' you know with Drusilla and later when I was alone..  She wanted to know how I got from place to place, where I stayed, how I kept a low profile, where the safe places for my sort were.  Stuff like that."

"She was planning a trip?" she added, more a statement than a question.

He glanced at her and chuckled, " even I figured that one out.  But she wouldn't tell me anything, not where and not why.  She just said she had to go away for a little while and that it was important."

"I didn't press her.  She was free to go or do whatever, I told her.  Then I reminded her that her other . .. the rest of you might not be so respectful of her privacy.  That's when she told me she wasn't telling anyone else she was leaving.  She sketched out the flu story and said she hoped she would be back before anyone caught on.  Then she called you and started the ball rolling."

"You didn't try to stop her?" Buffy said angrily.

"Slayer, whether you like it or not, Willow is a grown woman free to come and go as she pleases."

"It's not too damned grown up to lie and not tell anyone ……"

He broke in, " she did tell someone, she just didn't tell you, that's what's got your knickers in a twist.  She told me and not you lot."

"That's not …. There's no good reason …"

"No good reason not to tell you?" he smiled at her discomfort, " would you have respected her enough to let her go without demanding her reasons?  Would you have let her take her own chances, to stand on her own two feet?"

She didn't answer.

He lit another cigarette, " we talked some more and then she took a nap.  I woke her at one and she left."

Buffy  thought, she took a nap?  In Spike's crypt, with Spike there?  She shook her head in wonder.

Buffy told him about Sheila Rosenberg's call, "that's why I'm here, what about you?"

He gestured toward the landscape below, " since Monday I've stopped by that tree over there every night to check for a light in her room.  Tonight I thought I should take a look around."

"You were worried about her."

"No, I just wanted to go through her underwear drawer, " he said sarcastically.

"OK, I was a little concerned, I thought she'd be back before now, " he admitted.

He pinched his cigarette out and put the stub into his pocket, " another rule, " he said when he noticed her watching.

"OK, what now?" he asked.

*** *** ***

Buffy finished her explanation to the gang, she left out most of the stuff about Spike.  She only included the questions Willow'd asked and the things she'd said about covering up her trip.

Despite her attempt to downplay Spike's involvement, Xander still gave him a suspicious look.

"I still don't like cold, blond and ugly here being involved with Willow, I think he may know more than he's admitting."

"I'd have to know more that you, you bloody wanker, a stone would …"

Buffy stepped between them, " grow up you two.  Get a ruler and we all can tell who's the bigger man."  She turned quickly to Anya, " don't say a word."

"It seems to me, " Giles said as Xander and Spike glared at one another, " there's one place that she might go that she'd like to keep secret from at
least some of us." He glanced meaningfully at Buffy.

"Angel Investigations, this is Cordelia how may I ….."

"Cordy, this is Buffy, "

There was a brief silence.

"Oh, hi, how are things back at the old demon infested home town?" she responded.

"This may sound silly, but it's important. Has Willow been to see you guys?"

"By 'you guys' you mean ….?"

"Yeah, that's who I mean," She replied in low voice.

"Sorry, no.  Haven't seen her since I made the big move to find fame and fortune, " she said looking around at the shabby office.

"Thanks, if she should show up, could you call?" Buffy asked with out much hope.

"Sure thing,  would you like to talk to .. ah.. anyone else?"

"No, gotta go, thanks again, bye," she said hurriedly and the connection was broken.

Cordelia put the phone down and swiveled to face Angel, " it's not that lying to Buffy is such a stretch, but you should have heard her.  She seems upset."
 

~Part 4~

"Are you alright?" Giles asked gently.

Buffy nodded and turned a way for a moment.

"She hasn't …" she cleared her throat and started again, " they haven't seen her."

After a moment, Xander chimed in "OK gang, what's next?"

Giles responded, "normally one would look to family, close friends especially boyfriends ….."

"But this is Willow G man, " Xander interrupted as Giles winced, " she didn't tell her Mom, Oz is long gone and we're all the friends she's got.  School
and the slayerettes, that's her life."

Buffy noticed Spike roll his eyes.

"Maybe not, " Buffy said, " how about Tara the girl from her Wiccan group?"

"I know her she lives near the Shop, she comes in all the time," Anya volunteered.

"Why don't you and Buffy go to see her?  Xander can drive you. " Giles suggested.

"We could call first, " Xander added.

"Hands up for everyone who knows Tara's last name, " Buffy asked.

"Guess Will had a few secrets, " she said looking at their blank faces, " OK you two, lets go."

*** *** ***

"I need a room with a phone, she told the clerk.  He sighed and checked the register again.

"This ain't the Ritz you know, " he muttered under his cigar tainted breath.

"Another ten bucks, number 23, second floor follow the numbers, " he growled holding out a grubby hand.

She handed him a bill and headed for the stairs.

He glanced down at the registration card on the counter, " and thank you Ms. Giles, " he said to no one in particular.

As the slim red head climbed the stairs, the clerk returned his attention  to the TV flickering across the lobby.

"Move it Kel'nor, " he called to the figure whose head was blocking part of the screen.  The chair slid to the left until his view was no longer blocked.

Damn Glam demons, the more interested they are in the program, the more their heads swell.  As the magic of a 'Baywatch' rerun calmed him, he became more philosophical and thought to himself,  there really was a pretty good class of demon around here, no real trouble makers, not like some places he'd worked.

Willow surveyed the small room and shivered.

"Tonight we sleep on our own sheet, " she said to herself.

Looking around, she spotted a battered black phone.  She traced the cord and was relieved to see the modern phone jack.

She unplugged the phone cord and replaced it with the one to her laptop.

"OK, sick room message number one, " she said as she clicked on the internet connection.

*** *** ***

"Xander, why don't you wait here, we don't want to scare her, " Anya asked as the car pulled up to the old three story house.

"Gee thanks, I was going to use my manly charms on her but if you're too jealous.. "

"Whatever, " Anya called back as she and Buffy got out of the car and approached the steps.

Xander gave them a puzzled look and turned his attention to the radio.

"What was that all about?" Buffy asked.

"I don't think Xander or manly charm will get us anywhere with Tara.  Different team all together."

"What are you talking about?" Buffy said with a puzzled look.

"Do I have to draw you a picture.  I could I suppose, but you'd probably freak.  Xander would, but then they call it 'girl on girl action' when it's in one of those movies he keeps hidden in his underwear drawer, " Anya rambled on.

"You mean she's a …"

"Big time, " Anya agreed, " she might know something.  Giles said boyfriends but he meant …"

By then they had reached the door, "you don't mean … no.  Willow and her  … no..no…"

"Who are you going to believe, you who wouldn't know a lesbian if one fell on her or me who has over a thousand years experience with lovers of all shapes, sizes and genders?"

There was a moment of silence.

"Sorry, " Buffy apologized, " I can't get the falling lesbian image out of my mind."

Buffy continued, "let me get this straight, I'm supposed to say something like, ' sorry, Willow, your lesbian lover, is missing and we'd like to know if she's here snuggled under the sheets'.

"No she's not, " an unfamiliar voice said, " but come in and maybe I can help."
 

~Part 5~

Tara had the downstairs apartment.  She led the two girls through to her living room.  She gestured them toward the couch and pulled up a straight wooden chair for herself.

"I'm really sorry," Buffy apologized.

"For what?" Tara said smiling, "for telling the truth?"

"I mean I … I didn't know, you and Willow.  It's kinda hard for me," Buffy stammered.

Tara smiled again, " it's not your job to know everything about Willow."

Buffy smiled back, " gee, now we can double date, if I could find a date."

Buffy's face reddened, " not that I was asking for you to … not a girl date ... not that there's anything wrong …."

Tara interrupted, "lets start again, you said Willow is missing?"

Buffy grateful for the change of subject filled Tara in on the events of the last week.

"We  thought we'd come by and see if you knew anything that could help us find her."

"I haven't seen her that much for the past month, just once and a while on campus and when we worked on our magic exercises, " Tara said with a hint of sadness in her voice.

Anya spoke for the first time, " I'm sorry, " she said with a sympathetic glance.

Tara looked down at her hands folded in her lap, " thank you, it hasn't been easy, but things are getting better."

A puzzled Buffy looked from one girl to the other.

"Willow and I aren't lovers anymore, " she explained to the Slayer, " we're still friends and I still feel  …… " Tara stopped, took a deep breath and
let it out slowly.

"Sorry, " she said after a few moments, " I can't think of anything she said or did recently that might help.  Wait, did you find a small leather case
about six inches square and a couple of inches thick in her room?  She always kept it on her dresser."

Buffy shook her head, " I looked around to see what she took with her and I didn't see anything like that. What is it?"

"It's her magic case.  She carried spell ingredients and things like that in it.  If she took it, there may be some witchcraft connection to her
disappearance."

Tara apologized for not offering them something sooner, but both of her visitors thanked her and said they should be going.

At the door, Tara put a hand on Buffy's arm as Anya went down the stairs to the car.

Tara held out a small blue notebook.

"Take this, it's Willow's poetry journal she left it here last week at a Wiccan meeting.  There may be something in it to help."

Buffy took the book and gave Tara a hug.

"Let me know what's going on, please, " Tara whispered.

"I promise, " Buffy replied.

"So what did you two find out, " Xander asked as they drove away.

Buffy shook her head.

"I could have told you, Willow never even mentioned this Tara to me, so how close could they have been?  To the Xan man, Willow's an open book, a sweet simple …"

The two girls exchanged knowing glances.

"Xander, " Anya said, " shut up and drive."

*** *** ***

Xander dropped Buffy off at home before heading back to Giles'.

"Thanks guys, there's a couple of things I have to take care of tonight.  Anya, be sure to tell Giles about the magic case. I think that's the only
thing of interest we should report, " Buffy said with a meaningful look.

In her room, Buffy took out the notebook and opened it.

Poetry, she thought, Willow writes poetry .. and has lesbian affairs .. and has vampires in her bedroom at all hours of the night .. and walks away to God knows where without a word.  She shook her head in wonder at the difference between the Willow she was discovering and the Willow she thought she knew.

She looked at the first entry, 'Home'.

Home

The dark echoes with memory
Kitchen with the odor of birthday candles
Five and crying over a broken toy
Thirteen and crying over a broken heart

Childish tears tasting of salt
Party dresses ruffled socks and Mary Janes
Mommy says she can fix it all
Daddy says he's not worthy of your tears

Empty halls musty rooms
Air so sterile yesterday is forgotten
Little girls still cry at night
Hearts are still fragile in an older chest

Nothing welcomes me now
No greeting of old comforting dinner smells
Up the walk, darkened windows
Wish for ancient warmth and light
Once again I make my home alone tonight

*** *** ***

She was greeted by the smell of stale beer and cigarette smoke as she opened the door.  When her eyes were used to the dim lighting, she made her way to the bar.

"What'll it be Red, " the bald man in the stained apron asked as he slid a beer to another customer.

"Tonic, ice and lime please," she replied.

"Costs the same with vodka or gin, " he said as he filled a glass with ice.

She shook her head and he shrugged and filled the glass from a large clear bottle and added a sliver of lime.

"Three bucks, ' he said as he sat the glass down in front of her and picked up the five she had laid on the bar.  He returned a rumpled bill and four wet quarters.

She walked toward the rear of the room drink in hand.  She approached a door with a large dark man standing beside it.

"Members only, " he said baring her way.

"How much?" she asked.

"Temporary one night membership is ten bucks."

She took out some bills and handed him one.

"You know what kind of a club this is, right?"

She nodded.

"I don't know, " he said hesitating.

She handed him another bill.

He looked at the bill then at her and shrugged.

As he opened the door, she could hear loud rock music and voices, voices that seemed just a little off.  She also could smell something different under the beer and tobacco, a metallic coppery odor that she quickly recognized as blood.

Passing through the door, she heard it close and lock behind her.
 

~Part 6~

Buffy paused, she was shocked by the sadness of the first poem.  All the hours that Willow was available, the freedom that she had envied.  She'd
never thought of the cost in loneliness.  She turned the page.
 

Brown Eyes

Sparkling chocolate in a dirty face
A teasing tearaway at five
He led the world a fearsome pace
Could such a childish spark survive?

Growing up they were always there
Deep and soulful, dark and sweet
Grown up together, perfect pair
Could true love and friendship meet?

I tried but every sign he'd miss
His gaze cast on everyone but me
We melded in one stolen kiss
Brown eyes the truth could never see
 

Buffy felt a mixture of embarrassment and guilty pleasure reading the secret thoughts and feelings of her friend.  She told herself it was her duty to
read through the journal to see if it held any clues to Willow's disappearance.

She continued to read with a smug and self-righteous smile, that is until she got to a poem titled 'Honey Blonde'.  She was skimming through as she
realized that the subject was Tara.  Then it began to specifically and graphically described their intimate relationship.  Her face started to burn
with embarrassment and she turned the book over flat on her bed.

Buffy closed her eyes tightly and said to herself, "I will forget that I read any of these poems.  I did not form any mental images of Willow and Tara."

*** *** ***

"I remember them, it was some time ago, the last time they were here.  I don't know about you, but I like to keep tabs on the important ones, the ones that have some staying power.  Now you take some of these fledglings, they're made and they go around jumping anything that's warm.  Next thing you know, poof, dusted by some heeled citizen or a demon they've crossed.  No guidance, give me the days of real sires.  In the old days, a vamp wasn't on his own for years, not until he learned the tricks of the trade."

The red head listened to the old man with half her attention, she'd been buying him drinks for the last hour and listening to his complaints about the bad new days.

She felt a hand on her shoulder, the fingers were unnaturally cool.

"I've been watching you all night sweetheart, " said the voice from behind her.  "Why are you wasting your time with washed up humans when you can get all the answers from the horses mouth?"

She turned and saw a small man of about thirty.  He had dark hair and a small moustache, he was accompanied by a bored looking young woman.  She could tell buy the pale pink of the girl's cheeks that she was human.

She smiled, "what are you drinking?"

They sat and talked, more precisely they talked and she listened.  She was pleased that, after initial resistance, the man's companion had opened up and participated in the conversation.

"True, some think it's unnatural to drink donated blood or, heaven forbid, animal blood.  In my experience, it's sufficiently nutritious although the
taste can be bland."

"It's kinda strange, " the man's companion was speaking, " I won't let him feed, I'm not some blood whore.  You know those skinny assed skanks that hang around the bars and clubs.  Half of them get off on the sensation of low blood level and the other half are trying to get made."  She blushed, " not that, I mean made a vamp."

Some time later, she was sitting by herself when a demon with light blue skin sat down next to her.

"You're looking for a ride to LA, I hear."

She nodded and motioned questioningly toward the bar.

"No nothing for me, not if I'm going to get to LA tonight.  What do you say, fifty?"

"Just you and me?" she asked in a business like voice.

"Me and my cousin, " he said pointing toward another light blue figure.

She sorted through her mental file on demon behavior and arrived at a description of the gentle behavior of this species.

"You've got a deal."

*** *** ***

They made good time for that time of day and arrived in LA at one AM.

"Just drop me here, I'll be OK, " she asked.

They pulled to the curb, "what are you on some kind of a tour or something?" the driver said gazig at the building.

"Or something, " she said as she slipped him some bills.

"Maybe we'll see you around, " he called out as he pulled away.

She walked into the darkened room and sat at a small round table.

"Hello stranger, here for the music or just a drink?" a tall shadowy figure asked.

"A drink I think, just some bottled water."

He sat down and slid a glass and bottle across to her, " my names Lorne, I run this little hot spot.  Do I know you?  There's something familiar about your aura."
 

~Part 7~

Buffy decided that the best approach for her own peace of mind was to just check the poem titles for clues to avoid unnecessary ickyness.  She leafed through the book.  She was tempted to stop and read a long poem entitled 'Tweed', but immediately thought better of it.  Willow and Tara she thought she could eventually deal with but Willow and Giles?  She felt cold chills as she quickly turned the page.  The last item was incomplete.  It was entitled 'Cold Love'.  She was drawn to it because it was the only unfinished poem and because it could have been the last thing Willow had been working on.
 

Cold Love

Unexpected, chill for heat
Comfort from an unguessed place
Can it make a life complete?
A different glance, familiar face

Tempted by a cooling wind
That's given, never taken back
And if before the merging sinned
Would evermore be tinted black?

How permanent can a peace be
Between the Slayer and the slain?
One soul for heaven was the fee
Can it be chanced uncursed again?

Yes or no, the choice to …..
 

Buffy studied the words and an idea began to form.  She picked up the phone and called Giles.

"Hi it's me.  I was wondering if you guys were still working … Oh, OK I'll be there in a .. great If Xander could pick me up.. see you soon."

She was waiting on the sidewalk when Xander pulled up.  She jumped in clutching the journal.

"Thought you were busy, " Xander said.

"Got done quicker than I thought, " she replied.

"Any breakthroughs? " she asked.

"Taxi's, " he said with a grin.

"Pardon? " she said with a puzzled frown.

"Anya asked how did Willow get to where she was going?  It was late, she didn't have a car, buses are impossible and Spike said she walked away."

Buffy interrupted, " is Spike still around?"

"Not a lot of help, but he's still hanging around, " Xander said.

"Anyway that's when we thought taxi and taxi's keep records of destinations, now do you see?" he said proudly.

"Good for Anya, " she saw his face fall, " and you, cause without you she wouldn't even be here."

"Quite a team, that's us, " he said as they pulled up to Giles' place.

Giles was on the phone in the midst of some sort of argument.  Buffy took a seat on the couch next to Anya.  She put the journal on the table at her elbow.

"I just would like to know where my daughter went when she left the cemetery. You have the information right there.  Yes I know about privacy.  Yes I am ….. England in fact.  What the bloody hell has that got to do with anything?" he shouted in sheer exasperation.

Spike chuckled to himself, "the bloody poof is going to burst a blood vessel at this rate."

He was sitting in the shadows.  He'd been observing them all night hoping that they might come up with some kind of lead.  Despite what the others might think, he was upset and wanted to find her as much as they did.  Looking up, he noticed a familiar object.  On the table next to Buffy was a
blue book.  It looked like the one he'd seen Willow writing in several times when he visited her room.  He stepped over and quietly slid it off the table and retreated to his corner.  It was the same book, it had her name on the cover, along with the words 'Poetry Journal'.  There was a slip of paper near the end.

He flipped the book open to the marked place, "Hmm, " he said to himself, " Cold Love, " and he started to read.

He looked up when he heard a ragged cheer Giles had finally prevailed.

The librarian read from a slip of paper, "234 Station Street."

Spike quickly but silently rose, slipped the book into his coat pocket and made his way through the kitchen to the back door.

"Yes, " Giles continued, " he called it an after hours club called, of all things, Willies."

Buffy started, "did you say Willies Giles?"

He nodded with a frown.

She continued, " that's one of Spikes old hangouts, a vamp friendly kinda place.  We should get him to …"

She stopped as she turned to look for Spike and realized he was no longer there.

*** *** ***

She liked the host, he was smart and funny.  He didn't try to find out anything, he just was friendly.

In reply to his question, she said, " some friends of mine told me about your place.  I wanted to experience it, vampires, humans and demons all together under one roof."

"That's it, " he said, "the greatest show on earth, except when a certain vampire feels driven to share a song."

"You mean sing, " she smiled.

"Not if you heard it, sweetheart.  He's all broody dark good looks and a voice like a bad transmission."

"Wait a minute. I knew that aura was familiar. Let's see, Sunnydale definitely the hellmouth, and I've seen this pattern too. That's it, it's reversed.  I've seen someone else from Sunnydale influenced by you…."

He slid the small glass bowl with the tiny floating candle toward her.

"Nice looker, freckles, red hair, why Ms. Rosenberg as I live and breath.  Your reputation precedes you."
 

~Part 8~

"A dark ride Willie, that's what I need. A dark ride to the Bronson Hotel, that's where you told her to go, right?"

Willie nodded with some hesitation.  He didn't want to get on William's wrong side again.  He absentmindedly rubbed his shoulder.  He thought it was dislocated when William had grabbed it and lifted him off his feet.  It was unnecessary, Willie had decided to tell him everything as soon as he saw the golden glitter of his eyes.

Spike was lying in the back of the van with the black painted windows.

"I'm on her trail now, " he said to himself.  He touched the book he carried in his pocket, " and I think I know where and why."

*** *** ***

"Buffy, any luck at the demon hideaway?" Giles asked as Xander and Buffy returned.

Reading their expressions, he added, " not much I suppose."

"I can't understand it, Willie was scared all right, but not of me, " the Slayer said with a puzzled frown.

Xander added, " we asked a couple of the regulars and they remembered Willow being there on Friday, but that's all."

Dawn spoke up, " I think I might have something."

They all turned toward her.

She hesitated, losing some of her confidence.

Then she cleared her throat and began, " one time, Willow showed me a way to trace the access telephone number used to send an email.  She thought someone at school was sending her … ah.. , " she colored, " there were these pictures."

"OK, we understand, " Giles said, " go on."

Dawn continued, " anyway, she used this special program to backtrack through the online service to the sender's phone number."

"But Willow took her laptop with her, " Buffy objected.

"She gave me a copy, " she replied.

"I think it's a fine idea, " Giles said, " let's get to it."

*** *** ***

It was early for the club, but Spike thought there might be a few regulars around.  Anyway, it was the only lead that he had.

The doorkeeper took one glance at Spike and immediately opened the door.  The look in the vampire's eyes made him feel glad to be on his side of the door.

The old man was drunk already and Spike had difficulty keeping him on subject.  He was too familiar with vampires to be frightened of him and too
drunk to sense the real danger in his questioner.

"A couple of nights ago it was, nice looking red head.  Not flashy, no, she was smart and in control, if you know what I mean."

"And she was going where when she left?" he asked again.

"Oh she was going to go places all right, did I say she was smart?  Good looking too, a nice little .."

This time, the danger in Spike's glare penetrated the alcoholic haze and the old man trailed off into indistinct muttering.

He jerked his hand up off the table and pointed, " ask him, I bet he got better acquainted, if you know what …."

Spike didn't hear the rest of the old man's mumblings as he approached a small man and a young girl who had just arrived.

*** *** ***

They drove along the deserted street, " club owners lead quite the life, five AM and still energy to give a grateful girl a lift."

Lorne glanced at his passenger, " ah yes a veritable wonderland of dirty glasses and stale cigarette smoke, ain't it grand"

"And advice, don't forget the readings, " Willow added.

"Makes it all worthwhile, that and the fact that I can be Tony Bennett whenever I want."

"Tony Bennett, my Dad …"

"Oh shut up, shouldn't you be sleeping anyway?" he said with mock anger.

"Plenty of sleep on the way up, two Fortis demons on their way through to San Francisco.  Very quiet and a nice car."

"Cutting it kind of close weren't you?" he said.

She looked puzzled.

"This close to the change I mean, two days before a full moon.  Nicest folks in the world most of the time, but I've seen one of those guys take on a bar full of Marines just for the exercise."

Willow began to shiver.

"I think we're here, " he said as he pulled up to the curb.

Willow got out, her mind still racing over her close call with the demons.

"Say hello to Angel for me, he said leaning over toward the passenger door.

Looking into her troubled eyes, he winked and said, " don't believe everything you hear sweets, it's a bad habit in LA."

"Why you …, " she started as he smiled and pulled away.

"Willow, is that you?" a familiar voice said from behind her.

She turned and smiled at a surprised Angel.

In two steps they were hugging and he all but carried her up the steps and through the door.

*** *** ***

"Ten AM and his royal highness hasn't made an appearance yet, " Cordelia said with disgust.

"He is a vampire remember, " Wesley cautioned.

"And doesn't he milk it for everything it's worth.  Can't get up early, can't cook with garlic, no Pauly Shore movies."

"I believe that last one is just a matter of good taste and not specifically due to…"

"Put a sock in it Lord Explain a lot.  What the hell is he doing in his room all morning?" said the still angry Cordelia.

She looked up just in time to see Angel coming down the stairs yawning followed by a tousled haired Willow wearing one of his t-shirts as a
makeshift nightgown.

"Morning, any coffee?  I didn't get any rest last night, " Angel said.

Cordelia stood open mouthed and thought, I'll just bet you didn't.
 

~Part 9~

"Quite a nice girl, " the man volunteered, " we three talked for hours.  She was very good at making you feel that what you had to say was important."

"Another of the same?" he asked gesturing toward Spikes empty glass.

He nodded and the man made his way to the bar, which had become quite crowded as the evening progressed.

The man's companion leaned closer, " she made him feel important all right.  It 's a permanent thing with him, center of attention you know."

Spike nodded as she continued.

She lowered her voice and leaned closer still, " it wasn't him she was interested in, it was me.  I knew it as soon as she sat down.  I'd done it
myself, you know."

He gave her a puzzled look.

"Before I took up with old slick Harry there, I tried to find out what I could from other couples, about the life, you know vamps and humans.  There's the attraction, but you got to understand the pitfalls."

She touched his chest with a wobbly finger for emphasis, " she wasn't some blood whore wannabe, she was trying to make a decision and she wanted to know all she could."

The man returned with the drinks and the conversation resumed.

This girl, "did she say where she was going from here?"

The two thought for a moment, "north", the man said, " definitely north."

"San Francisco, that was it, " he said triumphantly, " there were two .. ah let me think ..Fortis demons going there and she paid them to go along."  He sat back pleased with his contribution.

Spike frowned, how could he have been so wrong, he thought?

He made his good-byes and slowly rose.  Halfway to the door, he was intercepted by the girl, "it wasn't San Francisco, I mean that was where
those boys were going, but she was only going as far as LA.  She told me she had a very close friend who lived there and she had to see him."

She kissed Spike on the cheek and wished him luck.

He smiled, he was right and he knew where she was.

*** *** ***

"OK, "Dawn said, "where's the latest message from Willow?"

Buffy pointed out the one she had received last night, " there it is, full of bull about how she's feeling a little better.  How dumb does she think I am?  Don't anyone answer that, "she said with an 'I dare you' look.

Dawn was cutting and pasting the address string of the email into a form.  When she was done, she pushed enter and the screen went dark.

"How long will this take?" Buffy asked.

"Don't know, but when it's done a little box will pop up with the phone number, " dawn explained.

They sat and looked at one another.

"Where the hell is deadboy? " Xander asked.

"Maybe he lost interest, " Buffy offered.

Dawn smiled to herself, "I don't think so."

Buffy was about to ask her what she meant, when the PC chimed.

Dawn looked over and read out a number with an LA area code.

"I wonder if it's a hotel or?" she started, but stopped when she saw her sister's face.

"It's a hotel all right, " Buffy said through clenched teeth.

Giles looked toward her, " it isn't is it?"

Buffy nodded.

"Oh Lord, " Giles said with a sigh, "I don't know what to say."

"We can talk on the way, " Buffy said grimly.

"Are you sure?" Giles asked, " Xander and I could "

"No, Xander and Anya can stay with Dawn, let's go."

*** *** ***

Before Cordelia could say anything, the two late risers had grabbed two mugs of coffee and half the pastries she'd brought and retreated to Angel's room.

"What the hell? " she said to no one in particular.  She turned to Wesley, " did you know she was here?"

"Not a clue, " he replied.

Cordelia was tempted to march up the stairs and demand an explanation, but the fear of what that explanation might be was stronger.  Then the phone rang, it was a business call, and then there was the mail.  Cordelia reluctantly fell into her office routine.  She would just have to wait for
her chance.

Coming back from the bank at one, Wesley told her she'd missed them.

"They headed out through the tunnels, " he said, "and there's something else."

Wesley looked uncomfortable and refused to meet her eyes.

"Spit it out, what instructions did the love machine leave, " Cordelia said impatiently.

"If anyone calls looking for Willow, she hasn't been here and we don't know where she is, " he said.

It was the end of the day, Cordelia had finished up some filing and returned to her desk to find Angel sitting in her guest chair.  She sat down eager to clear the air regarding their mysterious visitor when the phone rang,

"Angel Investigations, this is Cordelia how may I ….."

"Cordy, this is Buffy, "

There was a brief silence.

"Oh, hi, how are things back at the old demon infested home town?" she responded.

"This may sound silly, but it's important. Has Willow been to see you guys?"

"By 'you guys' you mean ….?"

"Yeah, that's who I mean," She replied in low voice.

"Sorry, no.  Haven't seen her since I made the big move to find fame and fortune, " she said looking around at the shabby office.

"Thanks, if she should show up, could you call?" Buffy asked with out much hope.

"Sure thing, would you like to talk to .. ah.. anyone else?"

"No, gotta go, thanks again, bye," she said hurriedly and the connection was broken.

Cordelia put the phone down and swiveled to face Angel, " it's not that lying to Buffy is such a stretch, but you should have heard her.  She seems upset."

"I'm sorry Cordy, it's time I told you what's going on."
 

~Part 10~

They had been driving for over an hour and Buffy hadn't said a word.  Giles was becoming concerned.

"Do you know what you're going to do when you get there?" he asked.

"You mean after I kick her ass for putting all of us through …"

"Buffy, really have you thought beyond your anger?"

She slouched down in her seat and crossed her arms across her chest, " anger good, thinking bad."

"OK, " she sighed, "I don't know.  Willow and Angel together, I can't figure out the whole road trip thing though.  Why not just pack up and go directly to LA?"

"Aren't you jumping to conclusions?  You don't know that Willow and Angel are .. ah .. involved."

"Not a real big jump Giles.  She knows how I feel about Angel, so she hides the fact that she's leaving.  She pumps Spike for vamp information and is last seen at a vamp hangout.  To cap it all off, she sends me a phony email from Angel's number."

"I admit when you put it that way it does seem damning; but remember, it's Willow that we're talking about.  I can't believe someone that open and
honest would stoop to this kind of deceit."

"I thought so too until I met her former lesbian lover and read a few poems she wrote, " Buffy responded.

With a forced chuckle, Giles said,  "for a moment there, I thought you said lesbian lover."

He glanced at her and when she nodded, he nearly missed a curve in the freeway.

When both the car and his pulse were both under control, " you're sure about this?"

"Anya already had it figured out before we met her, her name's Tara."

"Not a quiet blond, rather attractive?" he asked.

"You know her?"

"I may have seen her in the shop, that must be it," he answered.

He flushed when he thought of the afternoons that he had let them use his office for magic research.  He also remembered the locked door he encountered the time he had tried to retrieve the special order book he had accidentally left on his desk.  Willow had explained that they were at a delicate stage and that an interruption could have ruined an entire afternoon's effort.  He knew he'd never look at his office couch the same way again.

Buffy continued, telling him about the poetry journal.  She told him of the loneliness Willow had written about and the explicit way she had described her physical relationship with Tara.

"I realize it may have shocked you but by reading it you and I and all of her friends can gain important insights, " Giles said with a slight air of
superiority, " such writing can be a healthy outlet for emotions that cannot be expressed in other ways."

"Then there was the one called 'Tweed', Buffy said with an innocent expression.

After a moments silence, Giles cleared his throat, "just a bunch of psychological claptrap, personal writings like that should be kept hidden, or
better yet burned."

Buffy turned toward the window and smiled.

*** *** ***

Cordelia was still sitting in her office when she heard Wesley shouting at someone.

Looking out, she saw him blocking the way of a very agitated vampire.

"Sorry, " she said in a cool voice, " the Billy Idol tribute show is down the block."

"Tell this sod to get out of the way.  I want to see them both, where are they?"

"Let him by, " Angel called from the stairway.

Wesley and Cordelia watched as he took the stairs two at a time and followed Angel into his room.

Wesley looked at Cordelia, " getting ready to leave?"

"You must be kidding, " she said with a smile, "and miss all the fun?"

*** *** ***

They sat by the curb neither of them spoke.

"I guess this is it, " Buffy said.

"Yes, " Giles agreed.

After a few minutes, Giles turned, " you probably should actually get out of the car and go into the hotel."

She nodded.

"Look at me, " he insisted, " you have to do this.  There's too much of your life tied up in there."

Without a word, she opened the door and got out of the car.

*** *** ***

Buffy walked into the lobby followed by Giles.

Cordelia glanced at Wesley, "here it comes."

Buffy ignored their greetings and climbed the stairs.

She stood outside the door and took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

She pushed it open.

Willow looked up from the bed and smiled nervously, "hi, I guess you're looking for an explanation."

Before she could answer, Buffy heard sounds from the adjoining bathroom.

She turned toward the sounds then back to Willow in Angel's bed.

In an instant, all her anger drained away replaced by sadness.

She walked to the bed and sat next to her friend.  She took Willow's hands.

"I know we have a lot of things to talk about, but if this is what you want and it will make you happy ……."

She looked toward the bathroom door, "Angel you can come out now."

She jumped and turned toward the voice that came from behind her.

"I was wondering if this was a private party, it is my room after all, " Angel said from the corridor.

"Brilliant, just brilliant Slayer, " said another closer voice.

She looked back to find Spike standing in the bathroom doorway a towel around his middle.

She turned back to Willow, "Spike?"

Willow smiled and nodded.

*** *** ***

"I can see why you didn't want to tell anyone about this, " Buffy said with an evil look at Spike.

"It's more than that, " Willow said, " I've been going through some tough times, some things that you don't know about.  Spike was there for me."

"But I was  .." Buffy started.

Willow took her hand, " you were busy doing the things that you had to do.  I understand that. You and Giles have your responsibilities.  Anya and Xander have each other.  There wasn't always room for me."

Buffy looked away.

Willow smiled, " it's not your fault, it's not your job to take care of me.  It's no one's job but mine."

"But why the road trip?"

"What is it that I do best? " Willow asked.

Turning quickly, she fixed Spike with a half playful look, " not a word from you."

Spike grinned.

"It's research.  I decided to find out all I could about vamp/human relationships.  Naturally, I ended up here with Angel."

"What did you find out?" Buffy asked.

"I think it's worth a try and I'm going to try it.  I'm a little more adventurous than you might think.  I'll tell you about it some day."

Buffy remembered 'Honey Blond' and smiled to herself.

*** *** ***

Later, they were all together in the lobby.  Spike and Angel were discussing the return trip to Sunnydale and Willow was still explaining things to a
shocked Cordelia.

Giles and Wesley approached Buffy who was admiring the new spark in Willow's eyes.

Looking embarrassed, Giles said, " I wondered, I mean Wesley and I both were wondering ……."

Buffy watched as they both colored.

"Exactly who was 'Tweed' written about?"
 

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