She'd never felt so alone in her life.  The waiting room was dim, the air was
damp and heavy smelling faintly of disinfectant.  Cold, it felt so cold as
she pulled her sweater tightly around her shivering form.

"Mrs. Williams, the doctor will see you now,  " the nurse said from the
doorway.

"Mrs. Williams, " the doctor said looking down at the form on her desk, "may
I call you Anne?"

She nodded.

The Doctor consulted the file again, "your birth date, " she said looking up,
" this is correct?"

She nodded again.

"Anne the tests and my exam agree, you are a healthy young woman and you are
about six weeks pregnant."

She didn't hear anything else the doctor said she just nodded occasionally.

At the receptionist's desk, she asked how much she owed for the visit.

"Usually the insurance company covers the entire course of treatment
including delivery."

She hesitated, " we're changing insurance companies and I'm not sure …"

She was interrupted, " that's OK, we'll bill when you give us your insurance
card.

Walking away from the office, she looked up at a sign with an arrow that
said, ' Bus Station and Davisville Municipal Parking.,  She turned following
the arrow.

0

Willow was hot and tired when she pulled into her driveway.  She got out of
her car and dragged herself up the walk.

When she got close to the door, she noticed a figure sitting on the porch
with their back against the wall.

"Thank God you're home."

"Dawn, is that you?"

"Willow, I need a big favor."

Willow opened the door and ushered the girl in.

"Let me sit down for a minute.  I'm worn out, " Willow said as she fell into
a living room chair and kicked off her shoes.

Dawn sat on the floor next to the chair, " hard day?"

"You have no idea, " Willow said with a sigh.  "Now, what's the favor?"

"If Buffy asks, I was with you all day today," Dawn said in one quick breath.

"What? " Willow said sitting up.

"I need an alibi, big sister, " Dawn said in a little girl voice putting her
head on Willow's knee.

"Explain, little sister, and make it good."

"I had to go somewhere today that I can't tell Buffy about, not right now at
least."

"Can you tell me, " Willow asked.

Dawn looked away, "I don't think I can."

Willow frowned, "look at me Dawn."  The girl slowly meet her eyes. "Is it
Allan, were you with him?  You know what Buffy told you about him and I
agree."

"No Willow, I wasn't with him.  I know that he's a senior and we shouldn't
have stayed out all night last month.  I haven't seen him since Buffy told me
I couldn't."

Willow believed her, whatever the secret was, it wasn't a stolen day with an
unsuitably older guy.

"OK, but since I was away all day, where were we?" Willow asked.

"Maybe I went with you to wherever you went today," Dawn proposed.

Willow paused as she tried to think of a plausible destination.

"You went with me to visit my Aunt Thelma in Fresno?" she finally said.

A relieved Dawn smiled, "Fresno the home of the California raisin, who
wouldn't want to go."

"I know I'm going to regret this, " Willow complained.

"Buffy wasn't around today anyway, you know she's been spending every spare
moment with Giles for the past couple of months, go figure, " Dawn said with
a frown.

0

"So I'm to say that you were with me all day today training, is that it?"
Giles said with a strained look.

Buffy colored, " I know I shouldn't ask you to do this, but I don't want Dawn
or Willow to know where I was."

He interrupted, " or evidently your Watcher either.  Is it really so
important?"

She nodded, "very."

He shook his head, "I just hope that you know what you're doing."

"Very well, I'll do it."

0

Xander reread the note for the umteenth time, ' sweetie, I have to go to a
place and do a thing.  See you when I get back.  Love, A'

He'd been working supervising the 12 midnight to 8AM shift at the new
construction project.  It was a grind, but one of the things he appreciated
about it was their mornings together.

He smiled to himself, maybe it was the way they worked up an appetite before
breakfast, but it was fun anyway.

But this morning, no Anya, just this note and a box of pop tarts.  Now here
it was nearly dinnertime and still no Anya. He heard a key in the lock and
looked up.

"Sweetie, did you have a good day?" she asked as she breezed into the room.

"Sure, did you?" he asked in a flat voice.

"Me?  OK I guess went here and there did this and that, just stuff.  Not as
much fun as we usually have, " she said pressing her body into his.

"Could we make up for lost time?" she whispered nibbling at his ear.

0

"Tara, you don't know how much we missed you today, " Mary Jackson said
bringing her a cup of tea.

Tara had been one of the most valuable volunteers Mary had ever had at the
Women's Center.

She thought back to the state that she had been in when they first met.  Tara
had seemed more like a client than a volunteer.

"I'm sorry Mary, but I had something that just couldn't wait, " Tara
explained.

"I was just thinking of the first time we met, ' Mary said.

Her expression became serious, " you and ……"

"Willow, you can say her name Mary, it's Willow," Tara said.

"You and Willow had just broken up and you were desperate to get her back.
Some of the schemes to get her to take you back were pretty far fetched.
Thank God you got over that phase."

Tara didn't reply, but smiled and watched the steam rising from her cup.
 

(3)

"Anya I know it's not my place to interfere in your relationship with anyone,
but Xander is upset and you yourself seem different ..ah…preoccupied ..
unlike your self …oh bugger all!"

"You silver tongued devil you, " Buffy said from the storeroom doorway.

Giles spun around his face flushed with embarrassment, " I was ah just
practicing something, I didn't hear you come in."

Observing her evil grin, he asked sternly, " exactly how long have you been
skulking about behind my back?"

"Me?" she replied in all innocence, " me skulk, never.  I may lurk now and
then, but skulk, I'm not even dressed for it.  I left my skulking shoes …"

"Are you finished?" he asked, "or do you intend to reduce me to insensibility
with the inanity of your juvenile fascination with a new word?"

Buffy looked confused, " not that last one, I don't think."

"I was speaking with Xander and he's worried because Anya was away without
telling him where or why.  I was trying to think of something to do to help.
I told him he could just ask her, but he seems hesitant for some reason."

She came closer and sat on the stool next to him, " there seems to be a lot
of that going around."

He looked puzzled at first, then he flushed again, " I understand that you
need your privacy and I have no claims on …"

"I know and I appreciate it, but I think it's time I told you about yesterday
and some decisions we both have to make."

0

Willow heard the click on the line and returned the phone to her nightstand
and looked toward the open French windows.

"It was Tara, " she said, " she's coming over later.  She wants to tell me
something important."

"Did you hear me?" she repeated.

Spike pinched the end of his cigarette and dropped it in a small tin that he
returned to his pocket.  Housekeeping completed, he entered the room.

"If you'd let a bloke enjoy himself in your bedroom, he might be close enough
to hear you."

"I don't recall any complaints last night," she said with a toss of her hair.

"Listen you little baggage, " he said as he plopped down beside her.

"Seriously Spike, I think it's important that I talk with Tara.

"Are you sure that's smart luv?" he cautioned, "the last time she was here it
was bloody awful."

"I think it'll be OK.  She's coming at five. Why don't you come back at six?"

0

"How did you like my home cooked dinner?" Anya asked as she cleared the table.

"Now sweetheart, I think Mr. Pizza Hut might dispute that, but you did do a
fine job of ordering, " Xander said.

"And where was I when I ordered it, " she asked.

"Home that's where, ' she said answering her own question.

"Ah, now I see the logic, " he admitted.

"Anyway, "She said from the kitchen, " I wanted you to be in a good mood
tonight."

Xander felt a chill travel down his spine.

She came back to the table wiping her hands on a dishtowel and sat.

"I've got something to tell you."

0

Dawn couldn't sit, she had been pacing the living room since Buffy left to
talk to Giles.

Momentarily, she wondered what was so important that Buffy had to tell Giles.
Then she thought about what she had to tell her sister.

She was convincing herself that she absolutely had to tell her tonight, when
she heard the front door open.
 

(4)

Spike knew she would be angry if she caught him spying, but he had to know
how things really were between them.

He'd waited for months.  When he had first become attracted to her, it seemed
a lost cause.

Willow and Tara were so comfortable together.  It was even hard to feel
jealous.  Then the problems started, little ones at first.  A feeling,
especially on Willow's part, that something had changed.  Eventually, she
ended it.  It must have been a horrible scene.  For weeks, Tara was near
hysterics.  She was willing to try anything to keep them together.  Lately
things were calmer and Tara seemed to accept things, but could she have
changed so much so fast?

He stood by as the break up took its toll on Willow.  He'd followed her from
club to club, from bar to bar watching her try to drown her feelings of guilt
with liquor and company that didn't deserve her.  He'd had to stop finally.
Either that or kill some of the bottom feeders she was drawn to, and he knew
if he interfered, it would be the end for them.

After Buffy's intervention, he'd started 'running into her' around the campus
and the magic shop.  He became her sounding board, a friend who wasn't joined
at the hip with the slayer's gang.  Then one night she told him that her
feelings for him were one of the things that made her realize that she and
Tara were over.  He held her as she went on about the guilt she'd felt and
the things she'd done.

"I'm so sorry, but  I had to tell you.  If we have a chance … if you could
understand …"

He held her tighter and kissed away the tears.  Later they made love for the
first time.  It had been ages since he'd had anything other than just a
physical relationship with a woman, human or not.  Afterward, they tried to
take it slowly, not wanting to spoil things.

Now, he had to know if the Tara chapter was truly over once and for all.

He made his way silently to the rear of the house.  Through the window, he
could see Willow sitting on the couch, nervously fidgeting as she waited.

He looked back at the faint sound of a doorbell.  Willow got up, took a deep
breath and left the room.

In a few moments, she returned with Tara.  They sat side by side on the
couch, he couldn't hear what they were saying.  The conversation seemed to
run out of steam and Willow looked anxiously at Tara who paused and then took
Willow's hand.

She talked for a few moments leaning forward her eyes fixed to Willow's.
When she was finished, she slumped back against the cushions and waited for a
reaction.

After a split second's hesitation, she broke into a broad smile and put her
arms around Tara who responded to both the smile and the embrace.

Spike turned and slowly walked away hoping that six o'clock would never come.

0

"Hi, I'm back, " Buffy called out, " where are you?"

"Here in the kitchen, " Dawn said nervously.

Buffy walked in giving her sister a quizzical look.

"What's wrong?"

Dawn looked away, " nothing's wrong…"

Buffy caught her by the hands and pulled them face to face.

She spoke softly now, "what is it?"

"You'll be mad and I'm afraid …"

"Afraid?  Never never be afraid to tell me something.  I'm your sister and
I'll always love you, no matter what.  Do you understand?"

Buffy knew that fear, the fear that things would never be the same ever again.

It was this fear she'd had to face earlier with Giles.

0

"It's about yesterday and the other times I asked you to cover for me.  I've
been going to LA, I've been seeing Angel.  I want, no I need him in my life,
but I need you in my life too.

She hesitated, "I know the things that Angelus did to you."

His face hardened.

She hesitated for a moment then continued, " if you can't accept this, I
understand.  I don't know what I'll do. It's a decision I don't want to have
to make, but…"

"And you shan't have to.  I have too much regard for your happiness to force
you into a decision like that.  If you need him, then I'll deal with it."

All she could do was thank him.

0

"Now tell me, what it is Dawn?"

"I was curious and I went through the papers that were in Mom's desk and I
managed to track down Dad.  I called him and he was going to be in Santa
Teresa yesterday.  I took the bus and spent the day with him.  I know you
don't get along and .."

"Dad? " Buffy interrupted, " why?"

"First Mom and then Willow and Tara breaking up.  You were spending so much
time with Giles and lately even Spike doesn't come around as much.  I felt
like I was losing everything, I wanted to see if I could find something."

"How was he?" Buffy asked.

Dawn gave a half smile, " not too bad, he misses you, I think."

Buffy smiled in return, " if you need him in you life, I'll deal with it."

0

Willow sat with her back to the French doors, " you can come in now," she
said without turning around.

Spike seemed to materialize from the deep shadows on the balcony.

"You're late, " she said in a matter of fact tone.

"I wasn't sure that I was going to come at all."

She gave him a puzzled look.

"I wasn't sure I was still invited."

"I don't understand, " she said.

"After Tara's visit I mean."

"Were you spying on me this afternoon," she asked.

"I had to know how you felt about her …then I saw you together."

Willow smiled, " what Tara came to tell me was that she met someone.  She
wanted to make sure that I was all right with it.  I was glad that she was
getting on with her life.  I told her I hoped that she would be as happy in
her new relationship as I am in mine."

He looked relieved and returned her smile, "OK now what's your big secret?"

There is something I have to show you.  Come with me, " she said taking his
hand and leading him out of the room.

They ended up outside the closed door of the third and smallest bedroom.

She opened it and they walked inside.

He looked around, " it's bloody wonderful, I love it, but does it mean what I
think it means?"

"Yes, I want you to move in."

"I wanted it to be my decision and my responsibility.  Yesterday I went to
Palm Springs and talked to Mom and Dad.  They signed the house over to me.
They're going to live there in the condo from now on.  What do you say?"

He nodded as he admired the dark wood and leather furniture and the heavily
curtained windows with the black painted glass.

He turned putting his arms around her, " if you'll have me, I'm all yours."

0

"Xander, are you all right? " Anya asked shaking him by the shoulder.

He blinked and looked into her eyes, " I had the funniest dream where you
told me that we were going to have…" his eyes grew wider as she smiled and
began to nod, " a.. baby…"

END
 
 

(2)

The Summers sisters were finishing a silent and uncomfortable lunch.  The
atmosphere was heavy with unspoken words.

"So now you and Willow are taking road trips together?" Buffy said
sarcastically.

Dawn's eyes sparked with anger as she rose and turned toward the stairs, "why
not, you're never around anymore."

"So I can watch you carry on with some Freddie Prinze wannabe?" Buffy spat
back.

Holding back tears of anger, Dawn started up the stairs.

Halfway up she turned, "why don't you and Giles just move in together!"

0

Giles was shifting stock from the counter to a high shelf when Xander came
into the shop.

"G man, how's it goin'?"

Giles sighed, " I assume you're talking to me.  'Things' are just fine.  How
are 'things' with you?"

"Sorry Giles, things are OK I guess."

Giles frowned, " is something wrong?  Anya's not been herself lately."

He continued under his breath. "not that that is entirely a bad thing."

Xander sat down, " did she tell you why she needed to take yesterday off?"

"Just that she had something she had to do, " Giles answered also taking a
seat.

"She's never been gone for a whole day, not since we've been together, "
Xander said in a tired voice.

"Don't tell me you're jealous?" Giles said in amazement.

Xander shifted in his chair and avoided Giles' eyes.

"I can't believe it, " Giles said shaking his head, " you of all people."

"Good Lord, the catalog of embarrassing situations I've walked in on.  The
mis-buttoned blouses and shirts, " he made a face, " the sweat marks on the
storage room table."

"I know it doesn't make any sense, but…. Didn't you ever feel that your heart
would break, no that you'd die, if you lost someone?"

Giles paused and took off his glasses, "I see.  I suppose I do understand,"
he said looking into the distance, slowly polishing the lenses."

0

"Fresno?" Buffy questioned.

Willow mentally crossed her fingers and nodded, " we can't pick our relatives
or where they live.  Dawn was bored and I didn't want to go alone."

"Ok, I'm sorry.  It's just that I worry about her.  Remember last month?"
Buffy said.

"I think you might be blowing that all out of proportion.  She stayed out too
late, she lost track of time.  I admit the guy was a little old for her, but
I trust Dawn's judgement."

"Maybe you aren't the best judge of that, " Buffy snapped angrily.

She regretted the words as soon as she said them.

Willow colored and hung her head.

"Will, I'm so sorry.  I didn't mean .."

Willow turned and walked away.

She sat in her car outside the Summers' house thinking of what Buffy had said.

She thought about the painful breakup with Tara.  She knew it would be hard
for both of them, but she didn't know how hard.  Tara was a basket case for
weeks, promising anything if they could get back together.

She on the other hand, she couldn't stay home alone. She couldn't stand it so
she went out.  She'd go to a club, but she was so not used to being on her
own.  She had a drink or two to loosen up.  She wasn't used to guy's
attentions, she felt flattered and grateful.  The first time she woke up with
a guy, she felt so ashamed.  She swore she'd stay away, but she couldn't.
After a few weeks, Buffy came to see her.

She still didn't remember his name or where she met him.  He was sitting in
the kitchen in her Dad's robe when the doorbell rang.  She went to answer it,
she didn't realize how much the last few weeks had taken out of her.  Buffy
was shocked when she opened the door.

"Willow, what's wrong?  Have you been sick, is that why you haven't been
around?"

Buffy came in and pulled the door shut.

"Will you look like hell."

"Nice to see you too, " Willow said trying to make light of the way she
looked and felt.

"What the hell are you doing out there, you're supposed to be making coffee.
Get your ass in here," the voice form the kitchen said.

Buffy looked questioningly at Willow and followed the voice.

He looked up as she entered the kitchen, "a friend of yours Red?  How about
we have a little two on one after breakfast?  If she's anything like you, we
could have a real good time."
Willow walked quickly past Buffy and slapped him across the face.  She wasn't
ready for the vicious slap he returned.  She banged into the wall holding her
face.

The next few minutes were a blur of flying hands and feet with the end result
of a naked man clutching his clothes to his chest limping down the drive.

They spent all day together.  She told Buffy everything.  She cried until she
couldn't cry anymore.  Buffy just held her until she was finished.  Then they
began the slow process of rebuilding.  During the next hours they screamed at
one another and then apologized.  They cried and laughed and got through
things.  Eventually they also addressed a practical issue.  Willow thought
that she'd always used a condom, but they sat nervously together waiting for
the, luckily negative, result of her blood test.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a tapping sound.

He looked up and saw Buffy motion for her to wind down the window.  She did.

"I'm sorry Will, you're my best friend in all the world.  Since Mom died, I
don't know what…."  She began to cry.

After a few moments, they both had to wipe their eyes.

"I'm sorry Will, I guess I'm a little more emotional than usual," Buffy said
with a weak grin.

"Me too, Buffy, me too."

0

Tara lay in bed gazing at a picture of her and Willow in better days.

I'll see her tomorrow and tell her then, she thought to herself.  I hope
she'll be happy.  I just know she'll be as happy as I am about it.  She
sighed and smiled as she put the picture on her nightstand and clicked off
the light.

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