Disclaimer: Joss owns them all
Distribution: Usual suspects
Rating: R
Feedback: Makes me smile
Notes: Ok. Season 4 with no Oz history, as always. To Elka-My partner in crime.
DEDICATION: To Shae: Happy Birthday from Bree. She wanted me to write this as a birthday present from her. (Personal note: I'm now a gift, without wrapping paper or bows. Giggle.) So, from her, this is your gift. A lot of pressure to perform, but I'll do my best. :) HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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~Part: 1~
Willow glared at the people seated around the living room. She first looked at Giles. He was cleaning his glasses, avoiding her gaze. She could see a slight flush on his cheeks. She couldn't see why he was the one blushing. She then turned her green eyes to Xander and Anya. Xander was looked at her as though he wasn't sure what she would do. Anya was just smiling, a twinkle in her eyes. She was probably enjoying every moment of this.
Willow then turned to glare at Riley who looked as uneasy as she felt. At last her gaze settled on Buffy. Her best friend and roommate. The blond slayer that was doing her best to hide a smile. The two girls stared at each other in the silence. Willow seethed with embarrassment and a bit of anger. Buffy waited, keeping her amusement in check.
Willow heard a snicker behind her and felt another wave of heat cross her face. It wasn't bad enough that everyone she was close to had to be in on this discussion. No, Spike also had to be present. She closed her eyes briefly, taking a deep breath. She could do this. She was strong. She had no reason to be mortified.
"Well?" Buffy asked again, leaning forward slightly.
"Buffy" Willow said, her tone low and warning.
Spike snickered again, "Damn slayer. Isn't it obvious? The little chit has her knees locked. Wouldn't be surprised if she'd been past first base."
Willow turned to the smirking blond, "Listen here, dye job. My bases are of no concern to you. So keep your mouth shut and quit laughing."
Spike laughed again. He wouldn't be surprised if she didn't stomp her foot. Her eyes blazed with outrage, her face flushed from the slayer's question. He'd never seen her look more beautiful. He stopped smiling. What the hell was he thinking? This was the slayer's little pet. He cursed softly, images flashing in his mind that hardened his cock.
"Actually, Willow. It does concern him. It concerns us all." Giles said, again avoiding her eyes.
"Why? What is so important about this?"
"The vampire is right. Why must we ask? It's rather obvious. She's pure as snow." Anya said, rolling her eyes.
Willow glared. This was not the place to discuss any of this. "What is the importance again?"
"This demon can only be slayed by an innocent. Someone that has not had a man."
Willow thought. "A man? As in, human, breathing, living man?"
"Duh." Buffy said sitting back. "A man. You know, penis. Sex. Orgasms."
"Thank you Buffy. I must say, those visuals were particularly fetching." Giles said. "Yes, Willow. A living, breathing man."
"What was the question again?" Anya said sarcastically. "I've forgotten."
Xander just shook his head at her. He hated seeing Willow so embarassed.
"The bloody question was is the little mouse a virgin." Spike said, taking a seat on the couch.
"Well, are you?" Buffy asked Willow again.
"I've uh...Well...I've never...uh..." Willow sputtered. It was definitely not the time to talk about her sexual history. Not with six people staring at her. "Oh, just quit staring at me," she stood and turned away from them.
~Part: 2~
"Would you please just answer the question?" Giles said, putting his glasses back on. He saw the girl's back straighten. He hated having to make her volunteer such personal information, but Anya was right. Willow had never dated, much less had sex. He couldn't believe that Buffy had made it into such a big dilemma.
"Yeah, Willow. Just tell everyone here that you're a virgin and we can move on." Buffy said. She wasn't being cruel but she was enjoying the discomfort Willow was experiencing. It seemed to her that her friend always had things easy. She never had any big moments of humiliation like she did. Hell, Buffy was always the one doing stupid things. Now, it was rather nice to see perfect little Willow having to admit to her inexperience.
Willow turned and glared at Buffy. She saw the delight in the blonde's eyes and was reminded of Cordelia. The pure joy at making her look stupid and foolish. "Why?" she asked softly.
"Because. It's about time there is something that I have more experience with. I mean, everyone knows that you're a virgin. It will be rather nice to hear you admit it." Buffy said sharply.
"Buffy!" Xander exclaimed. He looked from the slayer to Willow. Willow was shocked. Her eyes were wide with hurt.
"You have to make yourself the center don't you?" Willow said softly.
"I'm the slayer. I AM the center."
"Then you can find someone else to slay the demon. I won't." Willow said, sitting down. She cradled her head in her hands. She couldn't believe the maliciousness she had seen in her best friend's eyes. She was tempted to wipe that knowing smirk off her face, but couldn't bring herself to do it.
"Willow, we need you." Giles said. He was surprised at his slayer's behaviour, but knew how difficult it would be to find a virgin at the university.
Willow looked up, her eyes determined. She was sick of this. They wanted to know? Fine, she'd tell them. She'd already lost Buffy's friendship. Nothing else was very important. "You don't need me."
"Where else are we suppose to find a virgin that would slay a demon?" Anya asked.
"She's right. On a college campus? The girls that are virgins don't usually wear signs. Plus, they might not be willing to risk their lives to slay an ugly demon." Xander put in.
"I must admit, it would be hard to find one without a lot of embarrassment." Riley offered softly. He wanted no part in Willow's humiliation, but he didn't want some demon to kill him either.
"I can't help you" Willow said again, softly. She looked at them all, her face calm, no longer red.
"Can't or won't?" Buffy said snidely.
Spike felt an urge to put his fist down the slayer's throat. He couldn't believe how she had lashed out at Willow. No one treated his woman like that. He groaned softly. Since when had Willow become his woman? Sure, she'd intrigued him. There was something about her that seemed rather mysterious. She had lured him in with her kindness and innocence. Kept him with her intelligence and smile. He glanced at her, waiting for her to respond. He saw the look in her eyes and paused. She was about to say something that was frightening her. He leaned closer, eager to hear her words.
"Can't." Willow said. She looked at Giles and smiled slightly, "I'm not a virgin. Far from it, in fact."
~Part: 3~
"What? Good one there Will." Buffy said, rolling her eyes.
Willow looked at her, her gaze steady. The slayer's smile slid from her face. "You have to be joking. Hell, you've never even dated."
"You have to date to have sex?" Willow said innocently.
"Who?" Xander demanded, outraged. He couldn't believe Willow would keep such a secret.
"Doesn't matter." Willow said sharply. "I'm not the little virgin you all need. So, we can drop it."
Spike studied her and replayed the conversation from the last half hour or so. She felt his eyes on her and turned, glancing at him. He froze, knowledge overwhelming him. He couldn't believe he hadn't seen it. He could kick himself. It was always there. He'd been to blind not to notice. He sat back, his mind reeling from his new awareness. This changed things. He smiled slightly. She was no longer unattainable. He saw desire shoot through her gaze as she looked at him, before turning back to the others. He kept his mouth shut, scolding himself for his idiocy.
"I don't believe you." Buffy said. "I think you're lying to get out of this mess and save yourself embarrassment."
"Don't push it" Willow said softly, her eyes warning.
"Why not? We need you to kill this damn thing. Quit lying and just admit it. You've never fucked a man."
"Why does it surprise you so much? Because it was the same guy each time? Maybe you can't understand that one Miss queen of one night stands."
"You little bitch. I've only had sex twice. You make it sound like I hop around men's beds."
"Twice, and the next day they both kicked you from their beds. Tell you anything, Buffy?"
Buffy glared at Willow. "Don't say anything you'll regret, Willow. You are fast pissing me off."
"Oh no. Wouldn't want that would we? What ever would I do without the big bad slayer to protect me?" Willow said rolling her eyes. "You started this. I'm just trying to end it."
"Fine. You had sex. Who with? Come one, Willow. Give us a name. You want me to believe you."
The others leaned forward a bit. They were dying to hear who Willow had lost her virginity to, though none of them would admit it.
Willow hesitated. She so did not want to get into this. She felt a hand on hers and glanced at Spike. She saw his knowing smile and smiled back. He knew. She didn't know how, but he did. He was offering her comfort in the face of it all. Could he accept her knowing her secret? It looked like he didn't mind. She squeezed his hand and looked back at them.
"You want to know who? Are you absolutely sure you want to go into this?" She asked, giving them a chance to just accept it and leave it alone.
"Yes. Who did you fuck?"
Willow said softly, squeezing Spike's hand tight, "Angelus."
~Part: 4~
Spike heard the gasps. He saw the color drain from the slayer's face, as it did on the watcher and the moron. His hand was being gripped so tightly he thought it might fall off. Willow was petrified.
"Angel?" Giles said slowly.
Willow shook her head. "Angelus. There is a difference. A big difference. Angelus is the one that took my virginity."
"No." Buffy said softly.
"Yes. Did you never think? I mean, he came after me first. He didn't plan on killing me in the school. He wanted me. Xander just arrived before he could say anything." Willow turned away, looking down at her and Spike's joined hands. "He found me two days later. One of the many nights I was walking home alone. He uh he forced me. It was in the bushes along Mulberry Ave. He wouldn't leave me alone after that. Every night he'd come into my bedroom. He killed Jenny because he didn't want to lose me."
"He knew about the soul restoration" Giles said, shaking his head.
"Yes. He found out. After that, he got more possessive. He marked me as his. Don't get me wrong, he didn't rape me. The first time was close, but he was good at seduction. He had me begging before it was over. I didn't want to feel what I felt for him. It was never love. Nothing that personal. It was always just sex and companionship."
"He told me about you." Spike said softly. "Never mentioned a name but he couldn't say enough. He planned to turn you after he killed the slayer. I never paid him much attention, just glad that he wasn't after Dru. Never connected it until today."
"He talked about me?" Willow said softly, smiling. "Angel told me that Angelus planned on turning me. Told me that despite it all the demon had cared for me. I never realized...."
"How could you?" Xander said, shaking his head. "He was our enemy. How could you willingly spread them for an enemy?"
"Angelus never gave her a choice, you dim twit. What Angelus wanted, Angelus got. Simple as that." Spike said.
"If she'd said no, he would have raped her and worse" Giles said, agreeing with Spike.
"So, I'm not a virgin. I can't slay your demon."
"Wait, Angel told you. Angel remembered and he never mentioned it?" Buffy said.
Willow laughed sharply, "Angel didn't tell you a lot of things. You sent him to hell Buffy. The only reason I did the spell was because he'd die if I didn't try. A souled Angelus was better than no Angelus. You still sent him to hell. There were other options. He loved you, still does in some ways. But, he can never be with you. He knows and accepts that."
"Good grief. You and Peaches too?" Spike muttered. "Why do I always fall for the women he has first?"
Willow smiled at him. "He never had my heart. Not completely. He knows what I feel for you....what I've felt for you for the last months."
"And?"
"He consented. After all, I will be staying in the family."
"Oh goodie, Daddy consents so I get the girl this time." Spike said sarcastically.
"Well, if you don't want me..."
"Not bloody likely." Spike said, glaring at her, "Wait, when did you two have this heart to heart discussion?"
"Last month when I visited him in LA."
"I didn't even know until today." Spike pointed out.
"We women can sense these things." Willow said sagely.
"Beginner's luck" Spike said, hiding a grin. "Stop it." Buffy said loudly. "You and Angelus. Now you're moving on to Spike? You're just a whore."
"You forgot Angel" Willow said softly. "The last year has been Angel. Not Angelus. Yes, Buffy. His soul is secure. He just didn't want you."
"You lying bitch."
"Call him. Ask him. Oh wait, he didn't give you his number did he? That's ok. I have it."
"I can't deal with this." Xander said standing. He and Anya left the watcher's apartment, Riley behind them. He had heard more than enough. Personally, he didn't care who Willow had sex with. She was an adult. It was none of his business.
"Running them all off, you slut." Buffy said.
Willow heard Spike growl and glanced warningly at him. He settled back, waiting for the next blow. He was enjoying the slayer getting her comeuppance.
"I'm not a slut. One man for a year and a half does not make me a slut. I love Angel. Who wouldn't? Just not the kind of love that I've been feeling for Spike. Angel and I closed that chapter of our lives when I confessed my growing attraction to Spike. Angel was willing to share, but I couldn't do that to Spike. Not after Dru. I can be his and his only."
"Good for you. Do you expect me to be happy that you are no longer fucking my boyfriend?"
Willow sighed, "Angel was not your boyfriend. He was your lover before Angelus. After that, when he got back from hell, he was your friend. There were too many things between you two for you to ever be a couple. Don't attempt to make me feel guilty. I never went after Angel when you two were together. Never even imagined it happening. Don't blame Angelus' desires on me. I couldn't have forced him to want me if he didn't really feel it."
Buffy felt terrible. She had been the one to push her friend into revealing everything. Now everyone knew that Angel preferred the redhead to her. She stood, her eyes cold. "I don't want to speak to you again."
Willow watched her leave. She looked at Giles. "Well, this is a tad fucked, isn't it?"
~Part: 5~
"Well, I would have said thoroughly messed up, but I can agree with your statement." Giles said quietly.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be. It wasn't your fault that Angelus went after you. I do wish that we had known though."
"I can't really see that conversation happening."
"Nor can I, but it would have been nice." Giles remarked. "There still may be a chance. Since you have never had sex with a human, you are still pure from their touch. You should be able to slay the demon easily enough."
"Oh yippee." Willow said dryly, "I lose my friends and get to slay the baddie. Aren't I lucky?"
"Luv, you haven't lost them all." Spike said gently from her side.
She smiled at him, "I know. I'm surprised that you're the one standing by me. I always imagined terrible words being said when you found out about Angelus."
Spike frowned, "I'm not happy about it, but you really had no choice. I've tried fighting him before. Besides, you chose me in the end. How could I be upset about that?"
"Put that way, I have no idea." Willow said.
Giles cleared his throat, "If you two don't mind, could we concentrate on the demon? After that, you two can whisper sweet nothings to your hearts content."
"We weren't whispering." Willow pointed out, smiling slightly.
"Willow" Giles said warningly. It had been a terrible evening. Too many surprises and secrets revealed.
"Yes sir. Slay demon then sweet nothings, sir. Got it."
Giles rolled his eyes and looked at Spike, "You can go with her. Make sure she stays out of trouble. Let me know if it works. If it doesn't, I'm afraid we are back to square one."
"It should work. I mean, after the humiliation I've endured this evening, not to mention that hate that is directed to me. The damn fates owe me something."
"We'll let you know." Spike said, moving Willow out of the room. "Don't wait up."
Giles shook his head as the two left his apartment. When the door shut, he sighed. Why must things always change?
~Part: 6~
Willow cried out as Spike's tongue lashed out against her wetness. She moved against his face, trying to find release. They had slayed the demon. It seemed that she technically was still a virgin, having never had a mortal man. She personally didn't understand what the difference would be, but hell, who ever understood all the rules of slaying?
They had come back to Spike's old place. She was glad that they had somewhere private to talk. Surprisingly, talk is all that they did for the first hour or so. After that, well, she felt a slight blush come over her body. Spike had been fantastic. She wasn't surprised. He radiated sensuality.
She cried out as her body shook in release. She felt him move up her stomach, his tongue licking at her warm flesh. She arched against him, causing him to chuckle. Finally, his mouth met hers as he entered her deeply. He caught her gasp of pleasure with his tongue, his teeth nibbling on her lips. They began to move together, easily falling into a steady rhythm. She felt his hands roaming her body, touching her everywhere all at once, or so it seemed.
Her mind went blank as she felt herself tighten around him. He groaned and she felt his teeth enter her softly above her breast. He had bitten her several times, never very deeply. He was afraid of getting carried away, taking too much. She had told him of her trust, but he wasn't convinced that he should be trusted. So, he kept the bites shallow, taking very little blood.
Her hands went to his head, holding him against her breast as she called his name. She felt herself flooded with his cold seed as he too found release. After coming down from her high, she released her grip on his head. He looked at her, his eyes staring into her very soul. A small smile lit his face as he kissed her again.
"Well, luv. That was bloody marvelous."
She laughed, "Such a romantic."
"What can I say? I have a way with words." He joined her in laughter as he moved to lay beside her, taking her into his arms. "What now pet?"
She glanced at him in surprise at his serious tone. "What do you mean?"
"The slayer and the others. The future."
"Oh, that. I really don't know. And honestly, I don't care right now. I have more important things to think about."
"I rate over the slayer?" he said smiling.
"Duh. I'm not in love with her." She said rolling her eyes, "Stupid male."
"Uh uh. None of that. If you insist on male bashing, I'll have to think of something to keep you busy."
"Promises, promises. You'd better get started thinking then. I feel a sudden feminist speech coming over me..."
Spike's mouth found hers, stopping her words. She pulled him closer, thankful that they had finally admitted their feelings. She knew that the future would be rocky, but with him beside her she could face Buffy and anything else the hellmouth tossed at her.