Parts: 21 - 25 (End)
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~Part: 21~
Willow studied Buffy silently, wondering what the blonde was thinking about so intently. She'd already answered the slayer's question, lying and saying that she was fine, but Buffy hadn't responded. Instead, the blonde had been thoughtful and quiet. Willow was more and more apprehensive as time passed, not used to Buffy being very quiet and definitely not used to Buffy being thoughtful. She saw Buffy smile and relaxed slightly, deciding that she was just overreacting. She smiled back as she repeated, "I'm fine, Buffy. How are you?"
"Well, not very good, honestly."
"What's wrong?"
"I don't really know what to say," Buffy said slowly, trying to figure out the best way to let Willow know she was aware of the relationship between her and Spike.
"Buffy, just tell me what's wrong," Willow said, worried that something had happened.
"You know that I love you, that you're my best friend," Buffy looked into Willow's green eyes and smiled, "that I want you to be happy more than just about anything in the world."
"I know," Willow nodded, giving Buffy a small smile, "I feel the same way. What does that have to do with what's wrong?"
"You can trust me, Willow," Buffy said softly, watching as Willow's smile faded. The redhead sat back, her eyes not leaving Buffy's as she continued, "You know that you can talk to me about anything and everything, just like I know I can talk to you. I might not have all the answers, but I'm getting to be a pretty good listener and I just don't want there to be any more secrets between us, Willow."
"Secrets?" Willow repeated quietly, seeing the sincerity in her best friend's eyes. For the millionth time since she had first kissed Spike all those years ago, she felt guilty for lying to her friends and for hiding her relationship with the vampire and for hurting Tara with her selfishness.
"No more secrets," Buffy said softly, moving to take Willow's hand as she squeezed it, "I'm here for you, Willow. Always."
Willow felt tears in the corners of her eyes as she felt Buffy squeeze her hand, as she heard her best friend's words. She whispered, "I'm so tired, Buffy."
"It's okay, honey," Buffy replied.
"It's not okay," Willow denied, the tears slowly starting to leave her eyes, "I'm so tired of hiding and sneaking and all the secrets and so many lies……I hurt Tara. I never meant to hurt her, but I did. I'm so confused, Buffy. I'm so tired and so confused."
"I'm here for you," Buffy repeated her earlier words, hating that she had made Willow cry. She'd never intended to make her best friend cry, but maybe Willow needed to cry. Maybe the redhead needed to just let it all out and just have someone listen.
"I lied to you, Buffy. I didn't go see Tara last night," Willow confessed, feeling her best friend squeeze her hand in silent support, giving her enough strength to be honest. She whispered, "I was with Spike last night. We've been involved for years and I'm so sorry that I've lied to you, but I didn't know how to tell you and I was scared that you wouldn't understand and that I'd lose all of you and I never meant for it to go on so long. Oh, God, I love him so much. I love Spike."
"I know," Buffy said softly, moving from her side of the booth to sit next to Willow. Finally, she could do what she had wanted to do since sitting down. She took her crying friend into her arms and hugged her, telling her, "It's going to be okay, Willow. It's all going to be okay."
Willow hugged Buffy back, not believing that she'd finally told someone about her affair with Spike, not believing that Buffy had handled it all so well. She didn't deserve Buffy to be comforting her, having lied to her friends for years, but she wasn't going to complain. It was as if a large weight had lifted from her shoulders when she'd admitted that she'd been with Spike, a feeling of relief washing over her as she was honest with her best friend, as the lying stopped and the secret was finally spoken.
~Part: 22~
"We need to talk?" Spike repeated as the moron nervously stood by the door to his crypt. He snorted, "I don't think so, Chubs."
"I am *not* fat!" Xander protested as his hand moved over his stomach. He was about to respond with an insult when he caught himself. Shaking his head slightly, he said, "We need to talk."
"You've said that already," Spike rolled his eyes as he moved to sit on the alter, having to admit that he was a bit curious as to what would have brought Xander to his crypt in the middle of the afternoon.
"You know, this isn't very easy for me," Xander muttered as he walked into the crypt, his eyes looking around as he frowned. He ran a hand through his hair as he said, "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all.
"Just spit it out, Moron," Spike suggested with a bored tone.
"It's about Willow," Xander said, looking at the blond vampire as he spoke.
"Red? What's happened to Red?" Spike demanded, the boredom and annoyance fading immediately as soon as he heard that Xander was there about Willow.
"God, she was right," Xander whispered as he saw Spike's reaction to Willow's name. The vampire's blue eyes were worried and it looked like he was getting more impatient the longer he had to wait to find out what was wrong with Willow.
"Who was right?" Spike asked, his eyes narrowing as he said, "Tell me what happened to Red, damn it. Is she okay?"
"Buffy was right," Xander said, hurriedly adding, "Willow is fine. I think she's having milk shakes with Dawn or talking to Buffy."
"She's not hurt?" Spike asked, wanting to make sure that his witch was safe and unharmed.
"She's hurting, but she's not physically hurt," Xander said, watching as Spike seemed to count to ten. He realized that he wasn't doing a very good job of this. Maybe he should have left well enough alone and just stayed at work. Willow was his best friend, though, and he wanted to see for himself if Spike really did love her the way she deserved before he supported a relationship between them.
"You know, I might have this implant to keep me from killing you, but I sure as hell could get a few good punches in before the pain caused me to stop," Spike said slowly, his eyes flashing yellow as he made sure that Xander understood his threat. He arched a brow as he asked again, "Is Willow okay? And none of those cryptic answers. Get enough of that from Gramps, don't need you doing it, too."
"I told you that she's okay," Xander said, moving a little closer to the door just in case he really screwed this up and Spike decided to test the limits of the chip.
"Then what the hell are you doing here, scaring me like that?" Spike snarled, running a hand over his face as he relaxed a little after realizing that Willow was okay.
"I had to see for myself if Buffy was right," Xander said truthfully. He smiled slightly as he said, "And she was. But, that means that she's also right about Willow hurting because of all of it, and that just has to stop. Willow's my best friend and I don't like to see her in pain."
"You said Red was okay," Spike growled, wishing he could just walk over there and hit the human until he got some answers that made sense. "And what do you mean the slayer was right? About what?"
"You see, I didn't really believe Buffy, because you're you. I mean, you're a vampire without a soul who has threatened us so many times I can't even count that high and I couldn't believe her until I saw it for myself. But, then I came in here and I could see it," Xander explained, thinking that maybe he'd been friends with Willow too long because it would appear that her habit of rambling when she was nervous had rubbed off on him sometime during their fifteen years of friendship.
"Enough!" Spike finally shouted, moving from the alter until he was standing in front of a scared but unmoving Xander. His eyes flashed yellow as he said, "Why is Willow in pain?"
"Because," Xander said slowly, "you're both too stupid to acknowledge that you're in love."
~Part: 23~
"What?" Spike stepped back in surprise, blue eyes suddenly vulnerable as he tried to think of the words to deny Xander's confident statement.
"You love Willow," Xander said with a smile, "and she loves you. See, I knew that you two were, um, well, involved in an NC17ish way after I caught you together last year, but I never thought it meant more than that until I was talking to Buffy today. She seemed so convinced that you guys were in love and hurting yourselves because you kept it a secret instead of telling the world and having as normal a relationship a witch and a vampire could have. That's why I came here today, to talk to you. I wanted to see if you really loved Willow or if it was just sex. When I mentioned her name, well, you reacted the way that I would have if I thought Anya was in danger. You love her and I'm actually pretty cool with that."
"I don't," Spike turned away from Xander, not sure if he was understanding everything that had been said, wishing he could believe that Willow did love him, not sure what to say or how to react to the little bombshell that Xander had just dropped. He began to pace as he thought, stopping as he suddenly realized something Xander had said, "You saw me shagging Red last year and never said anything?"
Xander shrugged, a slight blush crossing his face as he said, "I tried to forget I'd seen it, honestly, and figured it was a one time thing since she was involved with Tara and you were all proclaiming love to Buffy. Your entire relationship is just a bit fucked up, you know? I don't get why Willow wasn't honest with us, sneaking around and keeping secrets and lying, but I trust her and I know she must have had her reasons. Anyway, it doesn't matter now. It's time to stop hiding and hurting yourselves."
"Wait, the slayer is the one that told you?" Spike shook his head, saying, "No, this is some joke, right? You come in here and tell me Red loves me and try to get me to say I love her so you can tell me that I don't deserve her and that she's too good for me and then you run back to the slayer and have a good laugh."
"It's not a joke," Xander said quietly, watching Spike and realizing that maybe the blond wasn't nearly as arrogant and confident as he liked to pretend. He was seeing glimpses of the real Spike, he realized, a vulnerability and insecurity that helped him to see what Willow had fallen in love with him.
"But you think she deserves better," Spike said, having thought the same thing so often since he'd become involved with Willow.
"I think that Willow deserves someone that loves her completely and takes care of her and gives her what she needs to be happy," Xander said, "I think that Willow deserves you, Spike, just as you deserve her. I may not like you very much, but I know love when I see it. You love her, in a forever after kind of way that really does take on new meaning when I remember that you're a vampire and I think I'm going to stop thinking about that right now and focus on making you realize that you need to tell her how you feel and stop sneaking off into the shadows to be with her because you're both just hurting and I hate to see my friends in pain!"
"When did you get so mature?" Spike asked after a moment of silence, his blue eyes studying the face of the moron that had never seemed smart enough to know to come in out of the rain but that was now giving him advice that he hated to admit made a lot of sense.
"Mature? Me?" Xander stopped for a second to smile a crooked smile, "Man, that's kind of cool. I guess you do get smarter as you get older."
"Never said you were smart, Moron," Spike muttered, wondering if Willow did love him. Should he take a chance and admit his feelings to her? Was she hurting because they were sneaking around rather than going public with their relationship? She'd always been scared that she'd lose her friends if they knew the truth, yet here was Xander in his crypt urging him to make a move rather than risk hurting her even more. And Buffy knew that he and Willow were involved, which was a bit awkward considering his just ended affair with the blonde slayer, and she was the one pointing out their feelings to Xander. It seemed that her friends were accepting of the relationship. He was scared, though, if he were completely honest. What if he admitted that he loved her and she didn't feel the same way? No, he knew that she cared about him. He'd begun to suspect that she might love him, too, but he hadn't tried to get her to admit her feelings for fear that he might end up losing her.
"So, are you going to finally tell her how you feel?" Xander asked with curiosity in his brown eyes. He hoped that Buffy was having an easier time talking to Willow about it all. It wasn't like he and Spike were friends, barely tolerating each other most the time, so it was a bit surreal to be standing here and offering love advice and talking about something so important. For Willow, though, he would do anything.
"Do you," Spike hesitated asking, blue eyes looking at the floor as he gathered his thoughts, finally looking up and finishing his question, "do you think she loves me as much as I love her, Xander?"
"You called me Xander," Xander said in shock, shaking his head slightly before he smiled and answered Spike's question, "I think she loves you more. So, no more hiding?"
"She couldn't love me more that I love her, Moron," Spike smiled slowly, nodding as he said, "I'll talk to her tonight."
"Great!" Xander said sincerely. Buffy had been right. Spike and Willow, it made sense. He smiled, "I've got my car outside. I can drive us to the store as soon as the sun sets."
"You know, this doesn't mean that I like you or that we're friends," Spike told Xander with his trademark sarcasm as he moved to sit on the alter to wait for the sun to go down so that he could talk to Willow.
"Of course not," Xander moved to sit down to wait for it to be time to leave, which wouldn't be much longer now.
"Chubs," Spike said.
"Fangless?" Xander responded as he made himself comfortable.
"Thanks."
~Part: 24~
Willow didn't know if she could do it. She looked at the clock that was hanging above the counter, seeing that it was nearly seven. She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she thought about the events of the last few hours. She had told Buffy about Spike, being completely honest with her best friend about the entire relationship. She had been surprised that Buffy had taken it all so well, having expected the slayer to be upset and angry. Her best friend had just listened, letting her get it all out. When she'd finished crying, the blonde had asked her the all important question, why?
Willow had explained about the beginning of the relationship, about it just being sex and nothing else. She'd been honest about Tara and the feelings she'd had for her ex-lover. She'd also admitted to Buffy when she'd begun to feel more than just lust for Spike, about how confused she had been and how scared. Buffy had seemed to understand, not pressuring her into talking or asking too many questions. In the end, Willow had to admit that she'd underestimated her best friend. Buffy had apologized for her affair with Spike, something that Willow had dismissed as just one of those things that happened. It wasn't like Buffy knew about the redhead's involvement with the vampire and it wasn't like she and Spike were a couple, so there wasn't really any need to place blame or apologize.
When Buffy had mentioned Spike's love for her, Willow had been lost in a land of denial. She'd refused to believe that the gorgeous blond had feelings for her that went beyond sex and friendship. Buffy had insisted, admitting to having overheard their conversation earlier and pointing out their words and actions to support her theory that Spike loved Willow. After a while, the redhead had stopped being so stubborn and had started to give it some serious thought. Could Spike love her? She had begun to see evidence that such a claim might be true. There was jealousy and lust and affection and all the things that made a relationship something other than just sex. The way he looked at her, the way he touched her, the way he held her, the way he spoke to her, the way his eyes would follow her every move, the way he was so jealous of the time she'd spent with Tara, the way he was so angry that she hadn't told him her plans to bring back Buffy, the way he kept trying to get them caught so that she'd have to break up with Tara, the way he smiled at her after they'd both found release, the way he'd kiss her so softly and tenderly…..Spike loved her.
So, now, Willow was at the store waiting for him to arrive. She was nervous and worried and trying to find every bit of courage that she possessed. When Spike got there, she was going to talk to him. She was going to tell him that she loved him and that she was sick of sneaking around and that she wanted everyone to know that he was hers and she was his. She just hoped that her conclusions were accurate and that he did feel the same way about her because she couldn't stand the thought of losing him. Anya was talking to Buffy, probably getting filled in on their earlier conversation. Buffy had surprised Willow even more when she'd admitted that Xander had caught the redhead shagging the vampire last summer and that Anya had also caught them in the alley.
Willow had been rather embarrassed at the knowledge that two of her friends had caught her and Spike having sex, three if you counted Buffy's observance at the crypt that morning. When they'd gotten to the store, Willow had been surprised again when Dawn had excitedly asked if she and Spike were going to be a couple finally. It would appear that the teenager had noticed several glances and touches as well as a kiss and figured out something was happening months ago. Willow had thought they were doing so well hiding the relationship, but, apparently, she had been wrong. Everyone knew. And they were okay with it. In fact, Dawn seemed majorly happy and Buffy, who had more reason than any to be upset and angry, was pushing her into finally admitting her feelings to Spike so that she could be happy.
She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even realize that it was dusk until the door opened. She felt him, looking up in time to see Spike walking inside behind Xander. Her eyes met his and her breath caught. Distantly, she heard Xander greet her but she was too focused on Spike to say anything to her old friend. She stood up, her eyes never leaving Spike's. Moving towards him, she said quietly, "We need to talk, Spike."
"I think we've spent too much time talking, Willow," Spike responded as he saw the love and fear in her eyes. She loved him. His insecurity faded and he smiled. He raised his hand to touch her cheek, love in his eyes as he whispered, "Buttercup."
"I want the words, Spike," Willow said softly, not sure if this was really happening or if she was just daydreaming while waiting for him to arrive. She felt his fingers brush against her face, her body reacting to his touch, realizing that it was real. Her thoughts of having a talk about their relationship weren't going to be necessary. He was right. They had spent enough time talking.
"I love you, Willow," Spike whispered, not caring that they had an audience, not caring who heard him confess his feelings for his redhead.
"I love you, too, Spike," Willow smiled as she lifted her head to brush her lips against his. The kiss deepened as he pulled her against him, his hand moving down to caress her butt as his tongue claimed her mouth.
~Part: 25~
"It's better than a movie," Dawn sighed, a happy smile on the teen's face as she watched her two favorite people kiss.
"All I can say is it's about time," Anya muttered, though she was smiling as she watched the redhead and vampire finally admit their feelings and bring their relationship out of the shadows.
"He really does love her," Xander told Buffy quietly, sharing a smile with the slayer. "He's going to make her happy in a forever kind of way."
"Yeah, he is," Buffy nodded, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. She didn't feel nearly as weird as she'd figured she would, considering she'd just dumped Spike the night before. As it was, their fling seemed like something in the distant past. She felt rather proud of herself for interfering and finally getting Willow and Spike to be honest about what they felt. Okay, so it turned out that she was the last to know. In this case, she was glad because she was able to handle it all much better than she could have years ago. Now, she could see that Spike had the capacity to love and that he cared about Willow in a way that the redhead deserved to be loved. She could accept their relationship and be happy that they were happy. Her hazel eyes watched Spike's hand drift along Willow's butt, widening as she realized that their kiss was becoming a bit more than romantic and loving. She cleared her throat, stepping forward as she said loudly, "Guys, I, for one, am thrilled that you're in love and involved and all, but watch the hands. Dawn isn't old enough to see that stuff!"
"Bugger off, slayer," Spike said as he released Willow's lips, his blue eyes shining with happiness as he glared at Buffy.
"Be nice, Spike," Willow scolded him playfully as she moved her hand down his chest, and leaned up to whisper in his ear, "at least, until we leave here. Then, well, I always like it when you get naughty."
"Tease," Spike muttered before he caught her lips in another kiss.
"Okay, I'm all for happy Willow, but are these PDAs going to become routine?" Xander whined.
"Oh, hush. I think it's so romantic," Dawn said with another sigh.
"Hands!" Buffy warned as Willow's hand drifted across Spike's butt. She rolled her eyes, wondering how she had never seen their feelings for each other. Anya was right. Their attraction was practically visible. She must have been blind to have missed it.
"Buffy, leave them alone," Anya said, "they've just admitted that they're in love and they finally won't have to have sex in dirty alleys or that nasty old crypt so let them enjoy the moment."
"Thanks, Anya," Willow said as she pulled back from the kiss to smile at the ex-demon.
"Not a problem," Anya smiled at the redhead before leering playfully, "but I do expect details at a later date."
"Bloody hell," Spike rolled his eyes, deciding that he'd prefer to kiss Willow than listen to her annoying little friends, even if said annoying little friends were partially responsible for helping push them into admitting how they felt. He gave Willow his sexiest smile and purred, "Can we leave now, luv? I recall you mentioning something about being naughty."
"Buttercup," Willow said huskily, scolding him as she said, "stop being so tempting. You know we've got to help with research and then patrol. After that, we can be naughty."
"But I want to be naughty now, Red," he whined as he moved her closer to him, his hand moving across her back.
"Later," Willow promised before she kissed him tenderly. Pulling back, she reminded him, "I'm yours, Spike, forever. Now quit being so silly and come sit down beside me."
"Silly? I am not silly, Red," Spike defended as he allowed her to pull him towards the table where the others had taken a seat. He sat beside her, now having the freedom to touch her and just look at her without having to worry about being caught. A smile crossed his face as he played with her hair, watching as she opened a book before leaning against him. She was right, he decided. There was no need to rush anymore. After all, they had an eternity together. He brushed his lips against her cheek and whispered in her ear, "Buttercup."
Willow snuggled closer to him, smiling as she said, "I love you, too, Spike."
**********THE END**************