GOING ONCE, GOING TWICE (1/?)
 

"Is it just me or do the bands get worse every week?" Willow asked as she
watched the singer of the latest band of the week prance around and do his
best at singing.
 

"It's not just you," Anya said, agreeing with the redhead. "They're horrible."
 

"I don't know. They aren't that bad," Xander said, moving his head in rhythm
with the loud guitar being played. He was trying to forget what he had agreed
to earlier that day and bad music was just the ticket.
 

"You're only saying that because they have worse rhythm than you," Buffy said
laughing as he glared at her.
 

"Honey, you'd better not threaten her. She can kick your ass," Anya said
sweetly as Xander opened his mouth to defend himself.
 

"Oh, all of you just hush," he said, sticking his tongue out at them and
turning back to the stage.
 

"Ah, poor baby's upset," Willow said with a laugh.
 

"You know, one day he's going to smack all of you," Riley said with a laugh.
 

"He knows we're just teasing," Buffy said, smiling at her boyfriend.
 

"Honey, you know we're joking don't you?" Anya said, touching his shoulder.
 

"Leave me alone," Xander said, shooting them a scowl.
 

Anya frowned and hit the back of his head, "Quit pouting. We're trying to
enjoy tonight."
 

"Would you stop hitting me?" he said, glancing at them all. "What is this?
Pick on Xander day?"
 

"Xan, what's wrong?" Willow asked, the smile leaving her face when she saw
that he was obviously more upset about their teasing than he should have
been. He always made fun of his lack of musical beat, it being one of the
running jokes in their gang.
 

Xander turned to face the table, feeling a bit guilty when he saw his friends
looking at him. "It's really silly. I feel stupid even bringing it up."
 

"Aw, a moment I never imagined hearing. The moron admits he's stupid," Spike
said, moving towards their table. He shot them a sneer, "Now if the slayer
would only admit that she's a slutty bitch, I could die a happy man."
 

"If you promise to die, I'd be happy to say it," Buffy said with a sweet
smile as she glared at him.
 

"He's already dead," Willow said softly as she sat up straighter in her
chair. She felt her heart begin to beat a bit faster as she felt Spike behind
her. Just the sound of his voice could make her breath catch. At the moment,
he was much too close for her well being.
 

"Spike, so lovely to see you," Xander said, shooting the vampire a glare.
"Not."
 

"Don't you have some victims to taunt or something?" Anya asked, usually not
minding Spike hanging around but worried about her Xander.
 

"Ow, you wound me," Spike said, clutching his heart. "And here I thought
you'd be happy to see me."
 

Buffy had to laugh, "You know, Blondie, you really need to just admit that
you enjoy hanging out with us. This whole tough guy sneering act is getting
to be a repetitive, especially since it's been going on for more than a year."
 

"Enjoy hanging out with you losers?" Spike snorted. "You're crazy," he said
as he moved onto the stool between Willow and Anya. He lazily glanced at
Willow, noticing the death grip she had on her glass, her knuckles white. He
frowned, wondering what had the little witch so on edge.
 

"You know," Buffy said smiling, "I've heard that before."
 

"Why does that not surprise me?" Anya said. "Can we stop the verbal play for
just a few minutes? Buffy, you're a crazy bitch but we love you anyway.
Spike, you like us even if you don't want to. Deal with it. Now shut up. I
want to know what's bothering my Xander."
 

Willow had to laugh at Anya's words, seeing the wide eyed look on the blonde
slayer's face. She figured Buffy would not be surprised by anything Anya did,
yet the ex-demon still managed to catch the slayer off guard at times.
"Xander, what were you trying to tell us before Spike interrupted?"
 
 

GOING ONCE, GOING TWICE (2/?)

Xander started to shift on his stool as all eyes looked at him. Suddenly, he
felt rather foolish. He was overreacting to something very silly. "It's
nothing. Really. Forget it."
 

"Doesn't seem like nothing to me," Riley said, wondering what had his friend
acting so strange.
 

"And he pays how much for an education?" Spike muttered, cringing at Riley's
statement.
 

Willow had to giggle, shooting the vampire a startled look. She hadn't
expected him to be a supporter of proper grammar. "Too much, believe me."
 

Spike shot the redhead a smile and winked, "Boy's a freaking moron. He could
pay millions and it wouldn't change that."
 

"Ahem," Buffy cleared her throat and glared at her red-haired best friend.
"You are speaking about my boyfriend, you realize?"
 

"Sorry," Willow said, though she had not said anything offensive.
 

"I'm not," Spike said, smiling brightly at the slayer before looking at
Xander. "So, chap, what's got your undies in a twist? Spill it already. I'm
not a patient man and you have me sitting on the edge of me chair."
 

"Sarcasm so becomes you, Spike," Xander said with a short laugh.
 

"Honey, I'm agreeing with the patience factor," Anya warned.
 

"I saw my Mom today," Xander said with a sigh.
 

"How is she?" Willow asked, having not seen Mrs. Harris for several months.
 

"Busy, busy, busy," Xander said with a faint smile. "She's currently
organizing a benefit for her company."
 

"A benefit?" Buffy asked, curious to what Xander's mother actually did. She
had met the woman once, having never met his Father. She knew his dad was an
accountant of all things, often spending a majority of his time in L.A. From
what she had heard, there was no love lost between Xander and his father. His
mother had been nice though slightly ditzy.
 

"For charity," Xander said with a forlorn sigh.
 

"Don't sound so chipper," Willow said with a puzzled look.
 

"She's drafted me," Xander whined.
 

"For what?" Anya asked.
 

"It's a bachelor auction," Xander said, making a face. "She needs some
eligible younger bachelors since most of the men at her company are in their
late thirties or older."
 

Spike had to laugh, "So she asked you? Does she really think anyone is going
to pay for you?"
 

"Hey there," Xander said, his eyes narrowing, "I could fetch a pretty penny,
thank you very much."
 

"Yeah," Spike snorted, "if your little girlfriend bid on you. Bet you
wouldn't get any bids except from her."
 

"Wait a minute," Anya said, studying Xander. "Other women are going to pay
for your company? And what exactly does it entail?"
 

"A date," Xander said, grimacing. "But I don't want some woman to win me. I
was hoping you'd go and win me. I have some money saved. Shouldn't be too
touch to be the winning bid."
 

"And deprive all those other biddies from getting a piece of you? The
unfairness of it all," Spike said, doing his best not to collapse in laughter.
 

"Riley can do it," Buffy said suddenly, looking at her boyfriend. Riley gaped
at her, his mouth open slightly. "I'll win you of course, but it is for
charity. The more guys they've got, the better, right?"
 

"This is rich. I'll have to video it all," Spike said, giving up any pretense
of seriousness as he laughed. "You two morons parading around for a bunch of
wealthy twits to bid on. Funniest thing I've heard all year."
 

"Xander could raise more money than you could," Anya said with a sly smile as
she caught Buffy's eyes and winked.
 

"And I know Riley would beat you to the ground, Deadboy," Buffy said with a
similar smile.
 

"Yeah," Xander echoed his girlfriend's words, watching Spike's smile fade as
his eyes narrowed. "Easy to laugh when you're not involved."
 

"Easy to be so brave when you've got your skirts ready to catch you when you
fail," Spike said, glaring at them both.
 

Riley laughed, getting into seeing Spike squirm, "We could beat you even if
they weren't going to bid."
 

"Oh really?" Spike said, laughing sharply. "I don't likely see that
happening."
 

"Oh please," Anya said, rolling her eyes. "Women like cuddly men, not you
rebel types. And as for Riley? Well, they like muscles and brawn too. Not
wimpy types like you."
 

"Listen here you demon bitch," Spike started, his voice angry at her words
until he saw the challenge in her eyes. He suddenly laughed, "You want to
make a little wager?"
 

"What kind of wager?" Anya asked, angry at him for insulting her lover.
 

"Wager?" Xander said, starting to shake his head. "Hon, wait a sec. I don't
like this wager thing."
 

"Shut up," Anya said, staring at Spike. Her competitive streak had been
taunted and she was out for blood. "Wager?"
 

"I enter this silly little thing and I'll beat the pants off those two pansy
assed humans. Of course, neither you nor Slutty can bid. Has to be honest and
all that bullshit," he said, waiting and smiling. He knew they would not
resist the challenge then he could win. He so loved the taste of victory.
 

"Honest?" Buffy snorted, "You?"
 

"Scared, slayer? Not so sure Neanderthal can beat me?" he taunted.
 

"With one hand tied behind his back," Buffy answered.
 

"Oh, so it's a kinky sort of auction, is it?" Spike said, watching her face
flush.
 

Willow listened as Spike continued to taunt them until a wager had been
discussed and agreed upon. He played them all perfectly, knowing exactly what
would spur them into betting. She also had to wonder if Buffy and Anya were
blind. Sure, she liked Riley and loved Xander, but there was no way in hell
that Spike would lose an auction to them. With his cheekbones, those eyes,
that voice, that tight ass. Nope, this would be a bet that neither Xander nor
Riley could win. Suddenly, she had to smile. Or maybe not. With Anya and
Buffy behind them, they might get that added push they needed to make a good
showing. Then, Spike would lose and he'd have a bit of crow to eat. Either
way, it would certainly be an interesting next couple of weeks.
 

"Fine. We can't bid on them. It has to be someone attending the auction. The
highest winning bid wins," Buffy said, making sure it was agreed.
 

"And when Xander wins, we'll know who the most wanted man really is," Anya
said.
 

Buffy glanced at the woman, eyes narrowing, "Yeah, it will be Riley when he
wins."
 

Spike sat back, a large smile crossing his face as both women began to argue
about whose boyfriend was better. The boyfriends in questions both began to
squirm in their chairs, giving each other sickly looks. He nodded, seeing
that his work for the day was done. Scooby gang at odds once again. Let them
tell him that he enjoyed being around them. Like he was that pathetic. He
scowled for a moment before he heard Anya call Buffy a stupid bitch. His eyes
glanced at Willow for a moment, seeing the slight smile crossing her lips as
her friends argued. Smiling, he took a sip of his whiskey and leaned back.
Ah, it was a beautiful day.

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