GOING ONCE (33/?)
 

Willow felt something tickling her nose. She reached up and swatted at it as
she snuggled closer to her blanket. She heard a soft chuckle and frowned in
her sleep. Slowly, she opened one eye then closed it again as heat rushed
over her face. She was laying against Spike. It hadn't been a blanket she had
been snuggling against, instead finding a too handsome vampire smiling at
her.
 

"Wil-low, I know you're awake," he teased, trying not to let her know how his
body was affected by her closeness.
 

"Am not. Still sleeping," she mumbled, wondering what had possessed her to
fall asleep around him. Oh, that's right, the maze. They had walked for hours
and upon hours, finding Maurice's clever obstacles, a shaky bridge, a large
wall, a grove of thorny bushes. After all of that, she had been exhausted. No
sleep the previous night coupled with the work out she was getting in the
maze had kicked in. She'd barely been able to stand up straight, much less
walk. That's when she had given in to the inviting green grass that looked oh
so comfortable. She'd been asleep as soon as her head touched the ground. It
appeared that Spike had decided to take a nap too, plastered against her.
 

"Did you know that you talk in your sleep?" he asked in a conversational tone
as he played with a strand of her hair. He brushed it against her nose again,
watching it wriggle as she tried to get it off.
 

"Do not," she denied, still keeping her eyes closed. She was still tired,
even after sleeping, and he was much too handsome and alert. It wasn't fair.
 

"Do too," he said, brushing his knuckles over her cheek. They almost finished
the maze before dawn. He wasn't sure how he knew, but he knew they were close
to the exit. That was why he had let her sleep. And she'd looked so cute in
sleep that he hadn't been able to resist crawling beside her and holding her.
When he had woken up, the sun had been shining. Even now, he could feel its
warmth on his body.
 

"What did I say?" she asked, curious even though she knew he had to be lying.
 

"Nothing much," he answered coyly, his eyes on her face. She didn't have to
know that she had said his name and I love you and a few other telling
things. It appeared that Willow did not have purely friendly thoughts about
him, praise the heavens.
 

"Spike," she warned, turning her head slightly and opening her eyes. She was
surprised to see his eyes looking at her with such sweet emotion. His fingers
continued to brush her cheek as he merely smiled. She suddenly noticed the
light and looked up, seeing the sun. It was daytime. Looking back at him, she
let her eyes move over his face, seeing just how handsome he could be in the
sunlight. Still as handsome as usual but the sun did something to his hair,
made him seem different even though he really wasn't. "You're beautiful," she
whispered softly, not realizing she had spoken her thoughts out loud.
 

"I've always imagined you like this," he said quietly, his eyes softening as
he studied her.
 

"Like how?" she asked breathlessly, mesmerized by his eyes and his gentle
touch.
 

"In my arms with your face bathed in the rays of the sun," he answered
huskily, watching her eyes widen at his confession. "You're more beautiful
than I could ever imagine. Your hair is like fire."
 

"You've...you've thought about me?" she asked, not able to move.
 

"So many times," he admitted. "You have no idea how often."
 

"I never would have guessed," she said softly, wondering why he was telling
her this.
 

"I keep my secrets, pet," he said with a sheepish smile. "That night, at the
golf course, I'm sorry. I was an animal, I hurt you. I never wanted to hurt
you."
 

"Spike, forget it," she said, hating the look of self loathing that entered
his eyes, taking away the love. "I wanted it....have for so very long."
 

"You pushed me away...wouldn't let me touch you," he reminded with a frown.
 

"Because of the children," she said, laughing. "It was never because of you.
Spike, we were in a miniature golf course. There were people everywhere."
 

"Was that it?" he asked, looking at her with surprise. "You didn't want them
to see you?"
 

"Hello. I'm the shy one," she said, smiling. "Did you really think that I was
disgusted? Spike, that was the most exciting thing that I've ever done. I
felt things that I've never felt. I mean, never felt. It was amazing and then
you were gone."
 

"Guess we both messed that one up didn't we?" he said sheepishly.
 

"That's an understatement," she said, her eyes still on his. "How long?"
 

"I don't know," he said, before smiling, "March 23."
 

"You know the exact date?" she asked, astonished.
 

"Yep," he nodded, his thumb brushing against her lips. "See, I think I first
started to fall back when I kidnapped you. Got a bit deeper when I tried to
turn you. But, March 23 was my epiphany so to speak."
 

"Why?" she asked.
 

"You were wearing an orange shirt with some design on the front and this
flowing skirt with flowers on it. We were researching something at the
watcher's place and everyone was cranky. Don't remember why. But then you
came in and smiled. I remember that smile for some reason," he said, tracing
an outline along her lips where the smile had been. "After you got there,
everything was different. The tension faded and they were soon laughing.
That's when I realized that I had never really given you credit. You'd always
been the slayer's shadow, the one that helped out and messed up spells and
such. That day I realized that you were the glue holding them all together.
Without you, it was dismal and horrid. Once you arrived, the sun shined so to
speak. They may not realize it, but I did. And then you looked at me and
smiled, smiled for me and my heart stopped. That's when I realized that my
feelings for you were far deeper than I would have guessed. I wanted to see
that smile all the time, not just on those random research sessions."
 

"You hid it well," she said softly, blinking back tears at the emotion
clouding his voice. "I thought you hated me, and then I thought you were just
lonely and needed a friend. I never thought you actually wanted me."
 

"Oh, I do, pet. So very much," he whispered as he waited, needing to hear the
words spoken.
 

"I couldn't forget you after that night you kidnapped me," she confessed
softly. "And then, that night in my dorm, I was close to killing myself over
Oz and everything. You made me face up to my demons and realize that I didn't
want to die. I liked life too much. You were the only one that cared. We kept
you chained up and still you cared that I was unhappy. That's when I realized
that there was more to you than I had allowed myself to believe. I'm sorry, I
don't have a particular day to name nor do I recall what you were wearing,
but I'd hazard a guess that it was black jeans and a black T-shirt with the
leather duster. I just know that one night you came into the shop and I
realized that the excitement I was feeling was because you were there. It hit
me hard and I couldn't think of a time that I didn't have the feelings for
you."
 

He smiled, moving his finger to her hair again as he said, "So I knew before
you."
 

"Does that matter?" she asked, moving her head against his hand. "Is this
another dream, Spike? I've had so many like this I can't help fearing that
this is another."
 

"It's not a dream, luv," he assured her. "You're really here, in the
sunlight, in my arms. And I'm really about to kiss you and then slowly make
love with you."
 

"You are?" she whispered, a smile spreading over her face as he leaned his
head down and brushed his lips against hers. Sighing, she said, "You are,"
before returning his kiss.

next