Title: Guilty Secrets
                Author: Inell
                Email: Inell13@w...
                Disclaimer: Joss owns them all
                Distribution: Usual Suspects
                Rating: R
                Feedback: Makes me write more
                Notes: Season 3. My own verse sort of. You'll know the differences.
 

                GUILTY SECRETS (1/?)
 

                Willow moaned as she felt the tongue lick her foot. She looked down into
                her lover's eyes, wondering again why she was doing this. Why he was
                doing this. It was just a game. Why didn't he just get it over with like
                usual. She didn't want to enjoy it. She was guilty enough as it was. She
                felt him nibble on her upper thigh and arched up. She closed her eyes,
                feeling his lips on her sweaty, hot flesh.
 

                He flicked his tongue over her clit, sending tremors through her body.
                She gripped the blanket on her bed tightly as he licked her soaking
                pussy. She moved against his face, needing more. Too soon, she cried out
                in frustration as he moved up her stomach. His mouth found hers, letting
                her taste herself on him.
 

                She whimpered as he thrust into her. His large cock stretching her
                formerly virgin passage. It was so tight. She had only started having
                sex with him two months before. She hadn't meant to...it had just
                happened. She thought it was a one time mistake, but he had come back.
                She just couldn't tell anyone. They wouldn't understand. It was getting
                so hard not to turn him away. He used her. That she knew.
 

                He began to move inside her, his thumb dancing across her clit. She
                sucked in a breath as he took one nipple into his mouth. His blunt teeth
                scraped the tender flesh, making her cry out again. He twisted her
                breast roughly, kneading it. He smiled as he heard her exclamation of
                pain. He bit again, drawing a slight trickle of blood that he licked up.
                So sweet.
 

                She arched against him, keeping her eyes closed. It made it easier when
                she wasn't looking at him. She knew he was probably not looking at her
                either. It was easier if they could pretend they were with someone else.
                She hated him for making her need him....need this. She tightened her
                hold on his cock, her orgasm hitting her hard. She dug her fingernails
                into his back as he spilled his seed into her.
 

                Willow felt him get up. She took a deep breath before sitting up. She
                opened her eyes, watching him dress hurriedly. He wouldn't look at her.
                It was always the same. He fucked her, wishing it were someone else. She
                let him because she wasn't strong enough to say no. She caught his gaze,
                seeing the small smile. He thought she enjoyed their time together. She
                did, in a way. It was the first time someone had wanted her. But, she
                knew it wasn't her he truly wanted.
 

                "Tomorrow....after patrol" he said simply, pulling his jeans up and
                fastening them.
 

                Willow nodded, wanting nothing more than to tell him no. She couldn't
                speak. His dark eyes watched her, softening slightly as they took in her
                nude body, still sweaty from their fuck. "Give Buffy my best." Willow
                said, frowning as she pulled the sheet around her.
 

                Angel smiled and nodded, "I will. See you tomorrow night, lover."
 

                Willow watched him leave, knowing he was going to Buffy now. He had been
                back from hell for four months. It seemed that he had returned with his
                soul. Instead of sleeping with Buffy, he had decided to wait. He thought
                they needed to work on their relationship. But, he had needs. He had
                chosen Willow to fulfill those needs. As soon as Buffy was ready, he'd
                progress to that level of intimacy with her and Willow would be free of
                him...of his desires. Willow prayed for that day. It wasn't that Angel
                was an attractive man. He was. Under normal circumstances she'd be
                thrilled that he wanted her. But, these were not normal circumstances.
                He was in love with her best friend. He would never care about her. She
                couldn't keep doing this.
 

                Willow laid back, pulling her knees up to her chin. She was a whore. She
                was fucking her best friend's boyfriend and not even enjoying it. She
                was being used yet again. Why did she let herself be put in these
                situations? She should just tell him no. She cried silently as she knew
                that she couldn't. She wasn't that strong. That was why he had selected
                her, she knew. She hated keeping this guilty little secret. It was
                slowly tearing her up inside. She didn't know how much longer she would
                last until he broke her completely. She closed her eyes and tried to
                sleep, pushing the nights activities from her mind.
 

                GUILTY SECRETS (2/?)
 

                "Spill it."
 

                Willow looked up, her eyes widening slightly. "Spill what?"
 

                Faith leaned back in the chair, her dark eyes studying her friend. "What
                has you so fucked up?"
 

                Willow paled, "I don't know what you're talking about."
 

                "Don't give me that, Red. The last month or so, you've been acting
                freaky. You don't look like you're sleeping and I hardly see you eat.
                Something is nagging away at you. I can tell. I've been there myself."
 

                "It's nothing" Willow said softly, hoping the slayer would get a hint.
 

                Faith studied Willow as the girl continued to read. She was more
                surprised than any one that she and the shy hacked had become such good
                friends. They balanced each other some way. Buffy resented it a lot, but
                that only made it better for Faith. She loved getting the older slayer's
                panties in a twist. Faith was worried about Willow though. Something was
                going on in that mind of hers. She hated seeing her friend in pain.
 

                "Will, you never get together with anyone anymore. I mean, I only see
                you when I go to your house or you drop by the motel. I even heard
                Slutty whining about your absence. No, I take that back. You still
                research. It's only at night after patrol when we meet up with Angel
                that you disappear." Faith saw Willow stiffen when she said Angel's
                name.
 

                "I have a lot to do, Faith. I doubt I'm missed that much. It is senior
                year and all." Willow defended softly.
 

                Faith suddenly hit the table, "Damn it! You're fucking Angel."
 

                "What?" Willow said, looking up. Her face was frightened, pale with big
                eyes.
 

                Faith felt a rush of pity for the girl, "What did he tell you? That he
                and Buffy just couldn't be together? That there was something special
                about you that drew him close?"
 

                "The first one." Willow said. "It was never about me...."
 

                "That bastard. He's been fucking the bitch for a month. Did he let you
                in on that little secret? Didn't think so. She let it slip the other
                night. I'll stake him myself."
 

                "Why are you so upset?" Willow asked, not wanting Faith to see her hurt.
                Angel had lied to her. He'd been Buffy the last month. She felt disgust
                at herself spread over her.
 

                "Because, you're my friend...my best friend. I love you Red. I don't
                like seeing people I love hurt."
 

                "I love you too Faith. The thought is nice, but don't stake him. It's my
                fault. I could have said no anytime." Willow said quietly.
 

                Faith was pissed. That damn vampire. Taking advatage of Willow like
                that. She looked at her friend, "Will, you get two weeks for Spring
                Break don't you?"
 

                Willow nodded, "Yes. Started this afternoon. Why?"
 

                "Come on. We're leaving." Faith said, standing.
 

                "What?" Willow looked at her in surprise.
 

                "Leaving Sunnydale. When we get back, you're going to tell Mr Lying
                through his teeth vampire to go fuck himself. Two weeks. I'll tell Wussy
                I'm taking a vacation. You game?"
 

                Willow thought about it. Getting away from Angel and what he made her
                feel about herself would be great. She looked at Faith and saw the
                determined look in her friend's eyes. She didn't have a chance of
                getting out of this. "I'm game. If you promise I won't fall back into
                this same situation when I get back."
 

                Faith smiled, "Trust me, Red. I won't let you. Let's go pack. We can be
                out of town by dusk."
 

                "Sounds like fun" Willow said honestly. She was so tired of all the
                secrets and the lies.  She needed to get away from everything.
 

                GUILTY SECRETS (3/?)
 

                Spike sat at the bar nursing his drink. He cringed as the music got
                louder. He didn't understand music these days. To cover up how horrible
                the band was, they just played louder. Again, he had to remember where
                he was. He was going back to Sunnyhell. He wanted a spell for his dark
                princess. He had to win her back.
 

                Willow sat down, uneasy in the small bar. She and Faith had been on the
                road all day. They were headed to New Orleans first. Faith couldn't wait
                to see the French Quarter and to party on Bourbon Street. Sometimes
                Willow wished she had her friend's exuberance for life.
 

                Spike saw the redhead and paused. He had felt a slayer, but didn't the
                blonde slut. He did see her little shadow though. He looked at the girl
                beside her and frowned. That must be the new slayer. He had heard
                stories about her. He watched the redhead and felt a pang in his undead
                heart. Damn it. This alcohol was making him sentimental. He should go
                right over and kill the girl. She looked miserable anyway.
 

                Willow felt someone watching her and froze. Looking around, her eyes
                widened as she encountered those familiar blue eyes. She didn't want to
                alert Faith, in fear of what might happen. She saw him smirk as he
                raised his glass to her. Spike. Of all the people to run into in some
                dirty little bar in Arizona. Just her luck.
 

                Spike smiled slightly as he took in the girl's beauty. She was a pretty
                little thing. He felt his cock harden and caught himself. Drusilla. He
                loved Dru. He just hadn't shagged someone in so long...the redhead was
                making him hard. He watched as the slayer leaned over and whispered
                something to his Red. He watched the dark haired girls hands run along
                Red's shoulder and smiled suddenly.
 

                The slayer wanted Red too. That could be interesting. He had never
                shagged a slayer. Had no desire to start. But, seeing those two playing
                together....well, his cock ached at the idea. This might not be such a
                bad night after all. He wondered if Red had any idea her friend was
                lusting for her. Looking at her, he doubted it. Time to make a move.
                This was going to be a fun little game.
 

                Willow's eyes widened as Spike moved towards them. She glanced at Faith
                and saw the girl watching her. Faith turned around, a wide smile
                crossing her full lips. "Well, hello." She drawled.
 

                "Red. Long time" Spike said, staring into green eyes. He saw the glimmer
                of arousal and smiled. He suddenly caught a scent and frowned. "Blimey,
                you've been fucking the bloody poof!"
 

                "Faith, meet Spike. Spike, meet the slayer." Willow said, letting out a
                breath. Could things get any more complicated?
 

                Faith looked between her friend and the vampire. She had seen the
                sparks. Something was between those two. She smiled slightly. Well, she
                had planned to seduce Willow on this trip. Maybe Blondie could help.
                Looking him over, she decided he might not be that bad for Willow.
                Besides, she had never fucked a vampire before. The three of them might
                have a lot of fun. She laughed softly anticipating seducing Willow with
                the vampire's help. She'd show Red that she could do much better than
                that bastard two timing Soul Boy. So, she might have to share Willow
                with Fang. Things could be a lot worse.
 

                "Nice to meet you Spike. Have a seat. I have a feeling there is a lot to
                talk about." Faith said, smiling at the recognition in the vampire's
                blue gaze.
 

                Willow watched in shock. What the hell was going on here? Faith being
                nice to a vampire? And what was with that shared little look the two
                exchanged? Suddenly, she wondered if leaving Sunnydale had been the best
                decision. Remembering how she had felt the night before, she knew it
                had. She sat back, wondering what was happening right now between her,
                Faith and Spike.
 

                GUILTY SECRETS (4/?)
 

                "Why don't we take this little party back to our room?" Faith said,
                grabbing one of the numerous bottles of alcohol from the table.
 

                Spike had to laugh, "You do know who I am don't you slayer?"
 

                "William the Bloody..yadda yadda yadda. Right now, you're someone who
                has made Red smile. Besides, I think I might need a chaperone."
 

                Spike nodded in understanding, his blue eyes darting the door of the
                female's restroom. "She's something else, isn't she?"
 

                "Yep. Completely oblivious too. That damn Angel...I want to know what
                happened there." Faith said, her voice sober.
 

                Realization dawned in Spike's eyes, "That's why you're getting her
                soused. Ply her with liquor and ask questions." At Faith's nod, Spike
                smiled, "Slayer, I think I like how you think."
 

                "Wow. Such a compliment" Faith said, a teasing glint in her eyes. She
                hated to admit it, but Spike wasn't that bad for a vampire. She'd seen
                the way he watched Willow and had to smile. Poor Willow had no idea what
                was in store for her. If Faith had her way, she and Spike would have the
                redhead asking Angel who.
 

                "The room is spinning" Willow said quietly.
 

                "Is it, luv? Maybe we should go let you lie down." Spike said, his words
                polite.
 

                "Yeah.....must have been something in those cokes" Willow muttered.
 

                Spike and Faith helped her outside. They started to walk across the road
                to their motel. Spike left to drive his car across and met them at their
                door.
 

                "Come in, Fang" Faith said, helping Willow sit down. "How about a night
                cap?"
 

                Willow shook her head, "I don't drink." She stopped a moment and thought
                about it. "Fuck it. I'll take one."
 

                Spike hung a blanket over the window, knowing there was no way he would
                be out by dawn. He wasn't sure exactly what was going to happen, but he
                couldn't wait to find out. He caught the slayer watching him and winked
                at her. She laughed as she casually touched Willow's arm. Things were
                definitely getting interesting.
 

                GUILTY SECRETS (5/?)
 

                Faith stretched out on her bed, her eyes wandering the room. Spike was
                sprawled out next to Willow, who was drinking her scotch rather rapidly.
                Faith felt a twinge of guilt at getting her friend drunk, but she knew
                Willow wouldn't talk about Angel while sober. She had to know what had
                happened between those two.
 

                "So, Willow. This whole Angel thing. What's up with that?" Faith asked,
                sounding curious.
 

                Willow shook her head, "Don't want to think about it."
 

                "Come on, luv. How did you end up shagging brood boy, anyway?" Spike
                asked, feeling anger that his sire had gotten to her first.
 

                "Sex isn't fun" Willow declared, taking a long sip.
 

                Faith had to laugh, "He isn't any good?"
 

                Willow sighed loudly, "You won't leave me alone about this will you?"
 

                "Nope" Faith grinned.
 

                Willow put the bottle down and pulled her knees up under her chin. "I'm
                only going to talk about this once. Got it?"
 

                "Pet, you don't have to if you don't want to" Spike said, seeing how
                tense she was getting.
 

                She shook her head, "No..talking about it might make it better." She
                took a deep breath, "It started a couple of months ago. Angel came by
                and asked me for some help researching.....I let him in and tried to
                help him. Well, he uh tried to kiss me. It freaked me out. I didn't know
                what to do really....I told him to quit playing around."
 

                She reached for the bottle and took another long sip. "Well, a few
                minutes passed and he did it again. This time, he pushed me back to the
                floor.....it happened rather fast. I told him to stop and to let me
                up...he didn't listen..." she closed her eyes as she remembered, "He
                kissed me and his hands were all over me...it hurt. So much...he seemed
                to enjoy my pain...he licked the tears away...laughed when I told him to
                stop. He uh...well, he came. Then, he stood up and fastened his pants."
 

                Spike moved his arm around her shoulders. He saw Faith holding the
                bottle tight, anger in her face. He felt similar anger running through
                his body.
 

                Willow sniffled, feeling so stupid, "He said that if I ever told anyone,
                he'd tell them I begged him to take me. Since no one else would ever
                want me, he had agreed out of friendship...he told me he'd make sure
                that I lost everyone...." She ran her hand over her face, hating what
                she had done, "I couldn't say anything. I mean, Buffy would have
                believed Angel. He told me that I was his, and that anytime he wanted
                me, he could have me. That I should be happy that he had chosen me. That
                he was only using me because he was horny and didn't think Buffy was
                ready for that again....he was just using me."
 

                "That bastard" Faith hissed. "I really wish I could stick this bottle up
                his cocky, arrogant, self righteous ass."
 

                Spike snorted, "Fucking nancy boy might enjoy that. I can think of far
                greater things for him."
 

                "It was my fault" Willow said softly, "He told me so. I teased him. I
                came on to him, I just didn't know it. He said that I wanted it. It got
                a little better. I mean, he finally started to go slower. I think he
                realized that it hurt me worse if I started to enjoy his touch. He
                really got off on that...my pain. Physical or emotional, it didn't
                really matter that much...."
 

                "Shh, pet. He's always been that way. A selfish bastard. He was wrong
                though, Red. You are wanted....he doesn't deserve you."
 

                Willow let her head go against Spike's shoulder, relaxing into him. She
                felt his hand as he caressed her shoulder, trying to make her feel
                better.
 

                "If I see him again, I'll stake his miserable ass." Faith said,
                visualizing the various deaths she could provide for him. She didn't
                care what Willow said, Angel had raped her. It might not have been a
                violent horrible experience, but it had been rape. She thought back over
                the last four months she had been in Sunnydale, she could have kicked
                herself. She should have seen it. Now, it became very evident to her.
                Angel had always seemed a bit too interested in Willow for her liking.
                She had chalked it up to her own feelings for the girl and her distrust
                of him.
 

                "I'll hold him down for you" Spike said softly, enjoying the feel of
                Willow in his arms. Bloody damn sire. Trying to ruin this girl. He'd
                show her she was wanted.
 

                "Sleepy" Willow said, her eyes heavy.
 

                "Why don't you take a little nap" Spike suggested, catching the Slayer's
                eyes.
 

                Faith smiled, understanding him. She paused. It was weird that they knew
                what the other was thinking like that. It had happened several times
                throughout the night. With all of them. She nodded, "Yeah, Will. Get
                some sleep. We'll sit up and talk about you while you sleep."
 

                "Just nothing bad" Willow said, yawning. She closed her eyes and cuddled
                against Spike.
 

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