Willow sat in the chair beside Spike's bed, watching him sleep. She
ran her
hand over his face, feeling his cool skin underneath her hand. She
pulled her
hand away as she let herself drift from the room. She hated this existence.
Wanting so badly to touch him but never quite being able to. She could
feel
his coolness....hell, she'd even managed several times to bring him
to
orgasm, unknown to him. But, it wasn't the same. He couldn't touch
her....hadn't touched her. For two years she had loved him and he had
never
shown any interest other than being a friend. It wasn't until she had
died
that she realized just how deeply he cared for her. He had loved her.
All
those wasted years.
She found herself wandering down a familiar street. She smiled softly,
knowing she would follow her nightly routine. She moved into the small
apartment, checking on the sleeping man. She let her hand drift in
the air
above him, smiling as she became satisfied that he was well. She smiled
at
Rupert Giles before leaving his apartment and continuing on her rounds.
She
found herself in front of the Finn residence. She let her mind peak
inside,
seeing both Riley and Buffy asleep. Their son was sleeping as well.
She
smiled as she detected another, faint heartbeat. She wondered if Buffy
knew
she was pregnant. She closed her eyes, touching the life. It was going
to be
a baby girl. She was happy that her friend had moved on and made up
with
Riley. It wouldn't do for the two to be apart. Together, they were
something
special.
Willow checked the last place, glad to find Xander and family safe at
home.
Xander had married Anya before she had died...she had been the maid
of honor
actually. Spike had been best man. Strangely enough, Spike and Xander
had
become very good friends over the years. Xander and Anya had three
children.
A boy, William, six years old. A little girl, Anne, four years old.
And a new
baby boy, Jesse, just eleven months old. Seeing them always brought
two
emotions. Happiness at the joy her friends had found and sadness that
she
would never experience the same. Sighing, she made her way home...back
to
Spike. She settled in the chair and again watched Spike. He had no
idea why
she had come back. She hadn't want him to know. If he had know, he'd
have
helped her and she would have to leave him. She couldn't stand leaving
him
again. It had hurt so much the last time. Now, after five and a half
years,
she loved him so much. She couldn't do it. But, she was going to have
to. Six
years. That's all the time she had been given. She had less than four
months
left. Four months with him. That was it. And now..now it was almost
too late.
She had to ask him for help. But, by doing so, she'd have to leave
him. She
closed her eyes as tears drifted across her cheeks.
She reached over and picked up his duster. Holding her to her face,
she let
his scent wash over her. She let herself fade out, the duster wrapped
around
her shoulders. Spike opened one eye, watching his duster disappear
with her.
He had known she was watching him. He closed his eye, wondering why
she had
looked so sad. He had seen the remains of the tears. He hated this.
He really
had only wish now. Had had only one since she had died. He wished he
could
just take her into his arms and hold her, never letting go. He tried
to
sleep, wondering where she went when she left him.