Spike felt as if someone had rammed a stake through his heart. He closed his
eyes in pain at hearing his former lover's name. Visions of his princess
drifted through his mind as he remembered the time they had shared without
Angelus. He asked softly, "Why?"
 

Willow cringed at the emotions she heard in his voice. This was why she
hadn't said anything before. She knew he loved her, but she was scared that
he didn't love her as much as he loved Drusilla. "You don't know?"
 

Spike shook his head, opening his eyes and looking at her. He felt horrible
suddenly. Drusilla had arranged for the death of Willow and now he was
suppose to find her and kill her. How could he kill her? Could he kill her?
Even for Willow, that was a choice he wasn't sure he could make.  He no
longer loved Drusilla, but they had shared so much throughout the years.
"Why?"
 

"Because you loved me" Willow said simply. She had seen the uncertainty in
his eyes and knew he was going through a sort of hell at the moment. She had
never wanted to put him in this position but she hadn't been given a choice.
 

He flinched, "What?"
 

She smiled softly at him, no anger in her eyes. "She could feel it Spike.
Just because she no longer wanted you didn't mean that you could move on. She
wanted me out of your life so that you would still love her I guess."
 

"That's nuts....No one knew. How the fuck am I suppose to believe that she
did? She was all the way in Brazil." He said, his tone irritated. He had been
the reason Willow had died. He couldn't accept that....it had all been his
fault.
 

"She did." Willow said. "That's why the demon came after me. I don't think
she expected the interference....expected for me to haunt you for all these
years. If she had, she may have thought twice."
 

"She killed you because of me" Spike said, his eyes on the floor.
 

"Stop it" Willow said sharply, making him look at her. "No guilt. It wasn't
your fault anymore than it was mine for falling in love with you. She made
her own choice, Spike. Now, she has to face that."
 

Spike stood and began pacing. "Damn it Red. I don't know if I can do this."
 

"I'm sorry" Willow said softly.
 

"Why me? You were given a choice. Why choose me?" he asked, his blue eyes
begging to understand why she had placed him in this impossible situation.
 

"I loved you. I never even thought about it, honestly. I just had to be with
you." Willow said, remembering. "I mean, sure Buffy would have killed her but
I wanted the time to be with you, not her. I didn't realize what I would be
asking of you until after the choice was made. That's why I've never
mentioned it until now."
 

"Why now?" he asked.
 

Willow cringed, "They gave me a taste of eternal damnation. I honestly
thought I could live through it for you Spike, but I can't. I'm not that
brave I guess. It hurt...a lot. I understand that this is tough for you....I
did tell you that it would take more than love."
 

"I just don't know, pet" Spike said. He hated Dru for killing Willow...for
taking away the one bright part of his horrid existence just so he would stay
true to her memory. But, it was Dru. He could say now how easy it would be to
simply stake her for the pain she had put him and Willow through, but he had
to be honest. Could he really do it if he were facing her? He was scared that
the answer to that would be no. Then, Willow would be forced to suffer even
more because of his cowardice. "Fuck...I don't know...."
 

Willow watched his head fall to his knees as he came to terms with
everything. She loved him so much. She now almost wished she'd chosen Buffy
instead. Buffy would easily hunt Dru down and stake the bitch. But,
Spike...well, he loved Dru. It wasn't fair of her to make him choose between
them both. Because, that would be exactly what she was doing. If he chose
her, Dru would die and her soul would be saved. If he chose Dru, well, she'd
be in for an eternity of pain. Right now, watching him deal with it
all....seeing the pain and memories flash over his face as he remembered
Drusilla and the uncertainty in his eyes, well, damnation might be better
than having to face the fact he might not love her enough. She let herself
fade to her mind, giving him time alone to think. He had three months. No
need to rush the decision yet.
 

>From another realm, two images watched the scene.

<Will he do it?>
 

<He loves her. That is all I know>
 

<You old coot...you know more than that. You can see into his heart. Will she
be saved or is it the other place?>
 

<I've told you before that your affection for this mortals would be the death
of me, haven't I?>
 

<You like her too. Her soul is pure. She doesn't deserve to be damned. She
should never have died in the first place. You know that. Besides, you're the
one who offered her the choice. Remember?>
 

<Fine. I may have a soft spot for the girl. But, we can not interfere
anymore. We gave her the choice. She chose him. If Drusilla does not die
before three months have passed, Willow will be damned. That is a moot point>
 

<You worry too much. Give him time. His love for her is strong. It is part of
what attracted me to this case all along>
 

<Don't worry, he says. Easy for you to say. I like her soul. Maybe he will do
it. If faced with the thought of what she will be facing, he may find the
strength.>
 

<Exactly. If not, as I said, it can not be changed. Her choice was made by
her years ago. Come. Leave him in peace to decide. He is a strong one. Her
faith in him may be justified.>
 

<Maybe....I can hope...> (And, well, I may interfere just a bit my old
friend.....)

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