"I love you"

The soft words went through Willow's mind. She smiled as she ran her fingers over the cool, smooth chest. Since he had said the words, Spike had been repeating them often. She didn't know how he knew that she enjoyed hearing the words, so to speak. It seemed that it had taken so long for them to come out. Now, they filled her with such happiness.

"I love you Spike" she said softly.

He smiled into her hair. He held her tightly in his arms. He couldn't believe he'd said the words. He meant them. He acknowledged that. It just made him feel rather helpless. His dependance on her had made him weak. He wasn't use to being weak. He didn't regret telling her. He just hoped that he would be able to keep control of his life. He enjoyed being with her. The thought of her away from him filled him with dread. He vowed to never let anything happen to her. He wouldn't allowed her hurt in anyway.

"You beginning to understand that sign language stuff?"

"A bit. I still have a lot to pick up. I have to have Buffy go slow sometimes. Anya is easier to understand, but she has more practice at it. Buffy is learning very quickly."

"I hate to say it, but the slayer really is a good friend to you. She loves you a lot."

"Bet that hurt didn't it?" she said smiling.

"Quite a bit actually. I won't ever admit it to her though. She can continue thinking I have nothing but contempt for her."

"It's our secret" Willow said softly.

She couldn't believe that she was in bed with Spike sharing secrets...sharing love. Not even five months before, she'd never have imagined the turn of events her life would take. Not only had she lost her hearing, but she had been taken care of by Spike. They shared a private link that no one could touch. She wondered how it was that she could read his mind but he couldn't read hers. She still had so many questions about what had happened to her. What that demon had done. She knew that they would remain unanswered. Even Giles couldn't find out how it had occurred. She regretted the loss of her hearing, but in another way she had to be thankful because it had brought her and Spike together.

"Ours. I like the sound of that" Spike said softly into her mind. He moved his mouth down to her cheek.

She moaned softly as he began to place small kisses along her jawline before moving to her mouth. She moved her head, meeting his kiss. She slipped her tongue into his mouth and felt him do the same. Their tongues battled softly, each trying to dominate the other.

"I need you" he said the words into her mind as they kissed hungrily. Willow felt joy at his words. She reluctantly pulled her mouth from his.

"Take me" she said softly, her voice pleading with him.

He smiled as he ran his hand over her cheek. "Gladly" he whispered to her mind before taking her mouth again.

* * * * *

Willow moved her body over Spike's. She lowered herself onto his stiff erection slowly. She felt his fingernails dig into the flesh of her upper thighs as he made contact with her warmth. She ran her hand over his chest, teasing his nipples with her feather light touch.

Spike was fighting the urge to thrust up into her. She was taking her time, teasing him. He felt her slide down until they met. He gripped her flesh tightly as he began to move deep inside of her. Her head fell back as she moaned.

Willow moved her pelvis, grinding against him as much as she could. She moved her hands up to cup her own breasts as she bounced on his cock. She felt him move one of his hands down to rub against her clit. She closed her eyes and made a whimpering noise.

"I love the sounds you make when you get ready to cum" Spike said into her mind.

Willow smiled slightly. She had no idea what they sounded like. His noises were something she would never be able to hear. She wondered if he was a moaner, or a grunter or if he spoke her name in that sexy voice. She felt him speed up and concentrated on her impending orgasm.

Spike heard her cry out as she tightened around him. He thrust three times fast before sending his seed into her. He said her name as his face changed. She moved her head back, her green eyes watching him. He tried to shake it off and get his human face back. He was surprised when she ran her fingers over his creased forehead and down to his fangs.

"I love you Spike. All of you. Every face that you have. Don't hide any of it from me, ever."

He smiled softly as he brought her lips down to meet his. She never ceased at surprising him. He settled her head on his chest and stroked her arm until sleep overtook them both.

* * * * *

"You look happy." Buffy signed to her friend, speaking the words for Spike's benefit.

Willow smiled and held Spike's hand. "I am. Very happy."

Buffy looked between the two, her gaze thoughtful. "What happened?"

"Nosy bitch" Spike grumbled. He smiled at Willow. He kissed her deeply, letting his hand linger on her face. He spoke to her mind,"I'm going to let you two have some private time. I can't stomach giggles and girly talk today. Call me out when the twit goes home."

Buffy saw Willow smile at whatever Spike had told her. She also caught the tender smile he gave her read haired friend. She felt a twinge of envy at the love and passion in his eyes. Startled, she sat up straighter. Love? She finally understood why Willow was happier than usual. The damn vampire had gotten the balls to admit his feelings for her. She almost laughed. She was happy for Willow. After everything she had gone through, she deserved some happiness. Buffy was still surprised that the source of that happiness turned out to be Spike.

She'd never have guessed that those two would be so perfectly matched. Spike had been Willow's savior during the entire ordeal. Buffy knew that her friend wouldn't have made it without the blond vampire. Because of that, Buffy owed the vampire more than he'd ever know. If she had lost Willow, she knew that she would never have been able to get over it. Willow was her best friend, her only female friend. Who was she kidding? Willow was probably her only friend. Xander counted, but he often just helped out now. She was still irritated at his behaviour with Willow. She never would have thought he'd not know how to deal with Willow's deafness. He hadn't even tried. That sort of made it hard for her to be around him.

Riley was proving great. He'd even learned sign language so Willow would feel more comfortable around them. He was a true nice guy. She knew he had his secrets just as she had hers. Well, they weren't really secrets anymore. They'd been able to begin building a relationship based on trust and honesty. It was something new for her. Even with Angel, things had been secretive. There was so much she hadn't known about him. She still loved him still. She knew she would never forget him. He still had the ability to make her heart ache. She was trying to move on. She understood now why he had left. They could never be able to make their relationship work. So, she would have to be content to always wonder what could have been. With Riley, she could find out what would be. She was glad that Willow had found someone to love. She just hoped that Spike didn't hurt Willow the way that Angel hurt her.

Willow watched the conflicting emotions go across Buffy's face. She knew instinctively that her friend was thinking about Angel. She couldn't wait until the day that her friend could look back at her relationship with the dark haired vampire without being so sad. Buffy had such a short time that she would be alive. It didn't seem fair that she would spend so much time unhappy. Willow hoped that Riley would be able to provide that needed caring and love that Buffy deserved. Willow couldn't blame Angel. He was going through the same pain that Buffy was. She was proud that he had left, allowing the chance for Buffy to get on with her life. She hoped that time would heal their wounds, as the saying went. Buffy noticed the silence and saw that Spike had left. She saw Willow watching her, concern in her green eyes.

She smiled, shaking off the memories. "So, tell me."

Willow laughed softly. "He loves me. Can you believe it? Spike actually loves me. I thought I was dreaming."

"I can believe it. You are very lovable."

"Spoken like a true friend. Well, signed I should say."

Buffy just laughed. "I'm happy for you. I can see the love in his eyes when he looks at you."

Willow blushed slightly. "Really? You can?"

"As if you didn't know." Buffy rolled her eyes as Willow laughed. Suddenly, she stopped and began to sign rapidly, "Now we can double date!"

"Huh?" Willow said wanting to make sure she'd understood her friend.

"Dinner and a movie. Well, not a movie. You couldn't understand it. Wait, there is a new French film playing at the Palace. We could see that." Buffy stopped talking and finished signing out her message. She was thrilled. They could do couple things and just enjoy an evening out. Giles would take patrol for once. He still felt guilty and was always willing to try to make ammends.

"Ok." Willow said hesitantly. Somehow she knew Spike wouldn't be that overjoyed at the thought of spending an evening with Buffy and Riley. She smiled slightly. She'd have to make it up to him. "I'll talk to Spike and get back with you."

"Great. I'd better go. Got a class in an hour. I'll be by tomorrow sometime. I'll call Spike and let him know when. Take care and don't be too happy."

"How can you be too happy?" Willow said laughing as her friend left. She locked the switch and turned towards the bedroom. She'd better warn Spike.

* * * * *

Spike's laughter filled the room. Willow frowned and stomped her foot. He ignored her, continuing to laugh. She hated times like this. She felt at a disadvantage. She couldn't hear his laughter. Had no idea if he was saying anything in between his laughter. She turned, angry that he wasn't talking to her. She went to the living room, sitting on the couch. She stared at the blank television, taking deep breaths.

"Luv....I'm sorry. It's just, a double date? You almost had me convinced that you were serious." Spike came in, wiping the tears of laughter from his face. He saw her back straighten as she ignored him.

He moved to the couch. She couldn't have been serious. The thought boggled his mind. It was one thing to play nice with the slayer out of necessity, but to willingly socialize with silly bitch? He groaned as he sat down. Willow stood and moved to the chair. He rolled his eyes. She wasn't going to let this one go.

"Pet, talk to me."

She looked at him silently, her green eyes blinking. Her mouth stayed shut as she waited.

He couldn't believe this. He had now sunk lower than even Peaches. What irritated him the most was that he didn't care. He'd do anything for Willow. She was the one he was meant to be with. These last months had shown him that. He didn't like to be away from her for too long. He missed seeing her face and her smile. Missed hearing her laugh. Couldn't imagine not hearing her breathless moans as he thrust into her. He saw the determined look on her face and knew he was in the doghouse. She had tried to be delicate earlier when she'd brought it up. He'd laughed thinking she was joking. Damn it.

"Red...honey...sugar....luv....talk to me." He saw a slight movement in her lips at the endearments. She quickly concealed her laughter, staring at him.

"Cream puff....love muffin....sweetheart....baby doll...babe...."

"Baby doll?" She said, laughter in her voice.

He smirked. "Baby doll. My baby doll. So, you talking to me now?"

"Nope. You laughed at me. I have no plans on speaking to you."

"You already are."

"Leave me alone and stay out of my mind."

"Can't do it. I have to know what we have planned for our wonderful evening with the slayer and her pup." His face looked as though he were facing sunlight.

Willow smiled. "You don't mind going?"

"If it's a choice between you and the slayer or silence and alone time? Well, that's a no brainer. I hate being alone. Besides I love you, you silly girl."

Willow smiled, "I love you too. Oh, Spike, thank you. I know this is tough for you. I appreciate the sacrifice. Buffy is calling later. You can tell her the good news. This is great. A night out with friends."

"Yeah, great." Spike said, rolling his eyes. The things one would do for love. He held his hand out to her, beckoning. She stood and moved beside him, sitting and putting her head on his shoulder.

"Thanks....sugar bun...honey cakes....love muffin...." her laughing words were cut off by his mouth.

* * * * *

A double date with the bloody slayer. Spike shoved his cigarette into the ashtray, putting it out with a bit more force than usual. If he made it through this evening, he would be damn lucky.

It had started innocently enough. They had met for dinner, an event he wasn't too thrilled about. Then, he'd had to listen to the slayer ramble on and on. The daft girl never shut up. He believed the bloke with the big head deserved a medal for putting up with the silly twit. If it had been him, she would have been dropped long ago. If the babbling wasn't bad enough, the slayer and the boy were both progressing in their hand talking with Willow. Half of what they said, he couldn't understand. He hated feeling stupid.

They had gone to see some weepy French film that had been playing. So sugary he thought he might have cavities. Willow had liked it though, tears filling her eyes. He and the boy had definitely not been impressed. A rare occasion that the two men had something in common.

They were now at some little club the slayer had found. Too many dumb college kids for his taste. He had caught several men looking at Willow, a fact that he didn't like. She was, as usual, oblivious to it all. He frowned as he lit another smoke. He could make it through another hour or so. If the damn slayer didn't start voicing what she was saying, he was going to kill her scrawny ass, implant or not.

Willow felt the tension radiating from Spike. She had no idea what was wrong with him. He had been on edge since dinner. She knew it wasn't easy for him to socialize with his enemy, but hell, she had once been his enemy. He was a big boy, he could handle it. She saw Buffy swaying to the music that must have been playing. She again cursed her lack of hearing. It wasn't fair some times. She took Spike's hand, squeezing it once. He glanced at her, his blue eyes unreadable.

"Things are fine pet. Don't look so worried. Not missing anything music wise. Terrible sound. Lead singer can't carry a tune."

She smiled softly as his droll descriptions filled her mind. She kept his hand in hers as she turned back to Buffy. She continued her conversation with the blond verbally, not wanting to free her hand from his. She caught him smiling as he began to listen to what she was saying. She suddenly realized how unfair they had been. He didn't know sign language. He must have felt like she did when they all got together some times. Poor baby. She would have to make it up to him.

* * * * *

Willow set the book down, rubbing her eyes. She stretched, a smile on her face. The last week had been good. She and Spike had spent a lot of time together just sitting and talking. There had been no nasties to research so they had been free for a while. Riley had gone out of town for a funeral, so Spike had been helping Buffy with patrol.

She looked around, startled to see him talking on the phone. His back was to her, so she couldn't read his lips. She watched as he hung up quickly, moving to the kitchen. A confused look came to her face. He usually let her know when the phone rang. She could never hear it.

She saw him leave the kitchen, bringing her a glass of soda. "Here you go pet." He sent to her mind.

"Who was on the phone?" she asked. She saw him falter, almost dropping the glass. She was even more curious now.

"Phone?" he asked, avoiding her eyes. "Wrong number."

"Oh" she said quietly. She didn't believe him. He was lying to her. Why? "Well, thanks for the soda. Oh, the classic station is playing a re-run of twilight zone episodes from 7 o'clock until tomorrow. Want to watch?"

"Can't pet. Have to patrol."

"Since when did patrol take all night?"

He ignored her question, instead taking her hand in his. She stared at him, willing him to look her in the eyes. When his eyes stayed focused on the TV, she knew he was keeping something from her. The many possibilities flooded her mind. One stuck out more than the others. Could he and Buffy be getting involved?

He looked at her, love in his eyes. He kissed her softly. "Of course, patrol doesn't start for another hour or two...why don't we think of something more interesting that the tele?"

She smiled. She was getting paranoid. Maybe this deafness was affecting her brain. Buffy hated Spike, almost as much as he hated her. She leaned into his kiss. Riley would be back soon. Thank god...

* * * * *

"Damn it. She's getting suspicious."

"Shut up Spike. No, put your finger there. Oh yeah. That's perfect."

"Picky bitch aren't you?"

"Don't see anyone else complaining. No. Not like that. A little lower."

"She can't find out about this..."

"She won't. Not until its time."

"I don't think anytime will be right."

"She won't find out Blondie. Oh, try this. Right there... Yesss..."

"How does that boy keep up with you?"

"He has to try very hard."

"I bet."

"You want to stop?"

"Bloody hell... No. Just don't want her to find out. Is that good?"

"Yes. It's great. Besides, just remember, you asked me. It had never entered my mind."

"Playing the innocent doesn't suit you Slayer."

"Not like that. Damn, let's just start over."

"Do we have to? I'd like to get back early tonight."

"Yes we have to. Quit whining. You can't leave until you get it right."

"Bossy bitch."

"Spike, don't tempt to leave."

"Fine. We'll start over. What ever your highness wants."

"Good. Show me A."

Buffy watched as Spike signed the letter for her. "Good. Maybe today we can make it through the whole alphabet and work on phrases."

Spike rolled his eyes as he began to sign the letter B. The things you do for love...

* * * * *

Spike glanced at Willow then back at the slayer. Something was bothering his love, and he had no idea what. She had grown quiet over the last few days, always wanting to know where he was going. Her eyes glared accusingly at him. What the hell had he done?

Buffy could have cut the tension with a knife. She had no idea what Spike had done but Willow was pissed. It was plainly obvious to her that something had happened. She wasn't prepared to meet the accusing green eyes of her friend. What the hell had she done?

Riley sat down and got the only smile from Willow. He saw Spike and Buffy sitting with confused looks on their faces. Had he missed something? He'd only been gone a week. Though, a week in Sunnydale was a long time.

"Hey there....what's up?"

Buffy shrugged, her eyes bewildered. "Missed you" she said simply. She signed the words for Willow's benefit. The signing had become almost second nature to her. She caught herself doing it in class now as she spoke. She was happy to find something that she was good at....had caught so well.

Willow snorted. "Sure you missed him. Had to replace him."

"What?" Riley and the others asked.

"Go ahead Riley...ask her about patrol" she stressed the last word making it sound almost dirty.

"Patrol?" Buffy said, shaking her head. "Spike went with me while you were gone..."

Spike suddenly started to laugh. "Willow, luv. You're amazing."

She heard his words and looked at him, confusion crossing her face.

"I am not, I repeat NOT, shagging the bloody slayer. Never in my worst dreams. The thought physically makes me ill."

She started to laugh softly at the expression of disgust on his face. "Then what is with all the secretive patrols?"

He glanced at Buffy, who was still looking confused, "She thinks we were shagging."

"Ewwww" Buffy said, making a face.

"My thoughts exactly." He looked back at Willow. Slowly, he signed the words I love you.

She smiled softly. "You were learning sign? Why?"

"I got bloody tired of not knowing what the 'ell you chits were talking about. All those hands flying around..."

"He felt left out" Buffy volunteered, smiling evilly at Spike's discomfort at having his weakness revealed. "He begged me to teach me."

"I don't bloody beg, lying little slut."

"Children, enough. Buffy I'm sorry I thought you were a boyfriend stealing, skanky ho. Spike, words can't even do justice to what I feel for you."

Spike smiled. All was forgiven. He decided then that he would keep no more secrets from her. It was too dangerous for him. He might lose her over something stupid. He leaned over and kissed her gently.

"Makes you ill doesn't it?" Buffy remarked.

"Makes me want to follow the example" Riley said smiling as he kissed her softly.

Willow pulled away, a smile on her face. She looked up and the smile died. Xander stood frozen, an unreadable expression on his face. She hadn't seen him in months. He had avoided her since the accident, as she thought of it. She watched, her hope dying as he turned and left, dragging a protesting Anya behind him.

Buffy glared at him. It was time for Xander Harris to have an attitude adjustment and she was just the slayer to do it.

* * * * *

Willow opened the door, the smile freezing. She had been expecting Spike.

"Xander" she said quietly.

He looked at her, his eyes begging her to let him in. "Wills..."

"I can't hear you remember? What do you want?"

He sighed, running a hand over his face. This was bad. He couldn't talk to her. He knew Buffy was right though. He had to face this....had to be there for her. She had always been his best friend. The last months he had been a terrible friend.

"May I come in..."he gestured.

Willow almost smiled at his pantomime. She moved, allowing him entry. He sat down and took the pad she offered him. She sat and waited. She watched as he began to write.

After several pages, he felt that he had said everything. Besides, his hand was cramping. He handed over the papers and waited.

Willow began to read.

Wills...I'm a jerk. I admit to that. Seeing you like that was hard for me. I love you so much. Not that way. Make sure deadboy understands that is a friendly kind of love. Wow, almost got myself killed there. I avoided you because I couldn't deal with it. I know you were the one suffering but I was scared. I didn't protect you. I always said I'd keep you safe. When I didn't, I felt like I had let you down. Like Jesse. Your deafness was a constant reminder of what a failure I was to my friends. I ran not because of you but because of me. I let you down. I didn't think you could forgive me. I was scared that you wouldn't. Hiding from you was easier than admitting how horrible I felt.

Willow continued to read. She blinked back a tear as he had gone on to remember things from their past. Times that he kept her safe. She hadn't realized he had blamed himself for her deafness. She looked at him when she had finished.

"You moron."

Xander looked at her in surprise, "Huh?"

"It wasn't your fault. My lord. Everyone wants to take responsibility for it. It happened. I'm over it. I've adjusted very well. It hasn't been this terrible negative event. Spike made me realize that it could have been far worse. I might never have found what he and I have. The deafness is what brought us together. For that love I have with him, it was worth it all. I could never blame you Xander Harris. Hell, you weren't even close to me at the fight. I wish you had told me this months ago. Have you spent the entire time blaming yourself?"

He nodded, "I promised to always keep you safe."

She read his lips. "We were seven years old and I had fallen off your handle bars. Times change. No one can always keep you safe, especially in Sunnydale. I missed you Xander..."

"Me too" he said, moving to hug her. He held her tightly until she pulled away laughing.

"I need to breathe. Things are ok now? No more stupid guilt?"

He smiled slightly. He nodded. He still felt guilty but he wasn't going to let it control his actions anymore.

"Good. I expect to see and Anya at Giles tomorrow. The gang can be together again."

He smiled and sat back down. He stayed for over an hour catching up with her. By the time he left, his hand was killing him. He remembered how much he had hated writing in school. But, Willow had forgiven him. He could rest easy again.

* * * * *

Willow walked Xander to the door. He hugged her tightly before leaving. She smiled as he went down the stairs. He seemed happier now. She was glad. She could have hit him when he said he blamed himself.

She sat down and waited for Spike. He was out on patrol with Buffy and Riley. Things were still pretty quiet for Sunnydale though there was a rumor that something big was going to happen. No one knew what. It was probably just that-a rumor.

She had planned to go with them to patrol, but she had woken with a terrible headache again. It was the worst side effect from her deafness. She got them all the time, more so after a particularly long evening. She was now glad that she had stayed home. She might have missed Xander during his moment of bravery. She reached for her book and began to read.

Spike came in and smiled. She was reading when she had fallen asleep. He moved to her and caressed her cheek. She lazily opened one eye and looked at him. "Hey there."

"Hello luv. Head any better?"

"Yeah...sleep usually helps. That and a big bowl of ice cream. I had a visitor."

"Who?" he asked feeling a rush of jealousy.

She smiled slightly, seeing his eyes. "Xander. He apologized."

"You're joking? Did you throw him out on his arse?"

"No, I forgave him."

"You're too soft. You let that boy get away with ignoring you for months."

"Spike..."

"What?'

"Shut up and kiss me."

He smiled. "You know how to change the subject don't you?"

Spike carried Willow into the bedroom. His mouth not leaving hers except to remove his shirt. He straddled her as he began to kiss his way down her body. She moaned softly, gasping as he unbuttoned her shirt with his teeth. She loved when he did that. In fact, she had taken to wearing buttoned shirts for that reason.

Once her breasts were bared to his eyes, his mouth began to caress them. His tongue darted out, flicking across her nipples. She arched up, pleased at the contact. His hands drifted lower, slipping her shorts off. She closed her eyes as he began to love her with his fingers.

Spike felt her tense up and heard her familiar whimper as she came against his fingers. He moved his cock against her entrance, running back and forth between her cleft. She wrapped her legs around his waist, drawing him into her.

They began to move in a steady rhythm. Spike sunk deep, taking his time. She was so warm...so wet...so tight. He felt his face slide away as he began to move faster. Her hands went behind his head bringing his face down to her breasts. He bit into her as he came, flooding her passage with his seed. She bit his shoulder as she came a second time.

"Headaches all gone." she said smiling at him, her hair wet with her sweat.

"Oh, so you're using me as a substitute for aspirin now?"

"Best cure for a headache that I know" she smiled. "But I don't share. Other woman have to find their own cure."

"Glad to hear it pet." he said snuggling against her warmth.

* * * * *

"So you and the moron made up?"

Willow smiled at him, "Yes. He was scared that I blamed him."

"He's a puss. If you blame anyone, it's me. It took him four months to get the courage to admit that?"

"Yes. Has it really been that long?"

"Yes pet. I remember the date. You moved in here."

"Ah...how sweet."

"Sweet? If I were buried, I'd roll over in my grave."

"I'm sure it would be a lovely coffin."

"Smart ass. Just don't tell the poof I've gone soft. I wouldn't hear the end of it."

"Uh oh...you mean I shouldn't have written Angel that detailed letter telling him every little sweet thing you've done for me these last months? Drats." She said laughing at his expression. He realized she was joking and grabbed her.

"Don't make me be mean." Spike warned playfully.

"Yes sir." She laid her head against his chest and sighed, "Think things will finally get back to normal now that Xander is around again?"

"They've been normal. Well, as normal as Sunnyhell ever is."

She laughed, "You're right. A vampire that can't bite. A hacker that can't hear. We're a perfect combination."

"I can bite pet....." he said, nibbling on her neck.

"You know what I meant...Spike!"

He chuckled as he continued to bite his way down her body. She smiled as he began to get closer to her core. He was right. This was as close to heaven as you could be on earth. Her and Spike together.

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