LOVE LOST (1/3)
< How could I just let you walk away
Just let you leave without a trace
When I'm standing here taking every breath with you
You're the only one who ever
really knew me at all >
"Spike. Please." Willow begged, tears in her eyes.
He looked at her. "I have to go. Dru needs me."
"I need you."
"No you don't. You have the slayer and your little gang of friends. Dru
has no one."
"She must have you." Willow said, feeling her heart break.
"Red...You need a man that can see you in the sun. Someone that can be
by your side. I can't be that man, no matter how bad I'd like to be."
"I don't care if you can't see the sun."
"You would. You'd resent me after awhile."
"Spike...I love you."
"No you don't."
"Spike!" she reached for his arm.
Spike looked at her his eyes hard. "I love Dru. It has always been Dru.
You knew that before we started this relationship. Just like I knew the
wolf was your priority. If he had called you, you would have gone
running. It was fun Red. But, it's over. Now, let me go." he pulled
away from her and started for the door, grabbing his bag.
< How can you just walk away from me
When all I can do is watch you leave
Cause we've shared the laughter
and the pain and even shared the tears
You're the only one who ever really knew me at all >
Willow heard the door slam and fell to the floor. She cried for what she
had lost. Oz had never been the one in her heart. Spike had taken that
place and then some. She felt as though she had lost part of herself. He
believed that it was just lust. Just companionship. She loved him. But,
he had left her....gone running when Dru had phoned.
< Wish I could just let you turn around
Turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you
So many reasons why
You're the only one who ever really knew me at all >
She thought he had loved her. He had seemed to. He had been there for
her from the start. Always trying to make her laugh. He was her
happiness. And now, now he was gone. She didn't know what to do. She
felt hollow. She didn't notice Buffy coming in.
Buffy saw her friend crying and knew that he must have left. She should
have staked him when she'd had the chance. She had been convinced that
he loved Willow though. She guessed she had been wrong. She went to
comfort her friend.
< So take a look at me now
There's just an empty space.
There's nothing left here to remind me
Just the memory of your face
So take a look at me now
There's just and empty space
You coming back to me is against the odds
And that's what I've got to face >
Willow sat in the chair, staring at the open book. She didn't see the
words. She heard Buffy asking her if she was ok. Ok? She had had her
life torn apart. Spike was gone. He had been gone for a week. She had
this hope that he would come back, but now she realized she was deluding
herself. She wanted him to come back.
< To wait for you is all I can do
And that's what I've got to face >
"Willow, you need to eat. How long has it been since you've eaten more
than a sandwich?"
"Buffy" Willow said, her voice tired. "I'm fine."
"No you aren't. I will not sit here and watch you wasting away. He left.
His choice. I will not let him kill you."
"I loved him" Willow said, her eyes filling with tears.
Buffy hugged her. "I know. Shh...don't worry. Things will work out. I am
just so worried about you. You didn't even react like this when Oz
left."
"I'm sorry...I'll try....it just hurts...I miss him so much....."
"I know." Buffy said, as Willow cried on her shoulder. "Give it
time...it will get easier."
< Take a look at me now
Cause I'll still be standing here
You coming back to me is against the odds
And that's a chance I've got to take >
LOST LOVE (2/3)
< At first I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights
Thinking how you did me wrong
And I grew strong
And I learned how to get along >
Willow smiled at Buffy. It had been two months since Spike had left. She
hated to admit it, but she still missed him. She knew now that he had
been a selfish jerk. She had dried her tears and gone on with her life.
She was happy. She still had an ache that wouldn't go away, but she had
accepted things. She had been to several parties with Buffy. Had even
dated a few guys trying to get her mind off of him. The guys had been
nice, but they hadn't been Spike. She was so mad at him. Mad for making
such a stupid decision. Mad that he had chosen Drusilla over her. She
walked to her door and let herself in. Startled, she saw the lights on.
< And so you're back
From outer space
I just walked in to find you here
with that sad look upon your face
I should have changed that stupid lock
I should have made you leave your key
If I'd known for just one second
You'd be back to bother me >
"What are you doing here?" Willow demanded.
Spike looked at her. She was wearing a short skirt and a tight tank top.
Looked like the slayer had been dressing her. "I missed you."
Willow felt her heart start to flutter. Then, she remembered. "I don't
care. You left. YOU chose. Where's Drusilla?"
"I left her. She wasn't you. I needed to be with you."
"You left me."
"I was a bloody idiot."
< Boy now go
walk out the door
Don't turn around now, cause you're not welcome anymore
Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me
with goodbye
You'd think I'd crumble
You'd think I'd lay down and die >
"Leave. I don't need this. I am just now getting on with my life and you
come back. No. I gave you six months of my life. I gave you my love. You
threw it all back in my face as soon as that psychotic bitch called. I
will not put myself through that again."
"I love you pet." Spike said, having discovered the truth after he left.
Willow took a deep breath. "There is the door. Don't let it hit your
cute ass on your way out."
"Give me a chance."
"Just leave me alone." Willow said, her voice breaking.
Spike wanted to touch her...to hold her. Instead, he nodded and left.
Willow felt the tears forming but hastily wiped them away. He didn't
deserve a second chance. He had been the one that broke her heart. She
had finally moved on and he seemed to think he could just come back like
nothing happened. She closed her eyes. She still loved him.
< Oh no not I, I will survive
As long as I know how to love
I know I'd stay alive
I've got all my life to live
I've got all my love to give
I'll survive
I will survive >
LOVE LOST (3/3)
< I want to hold you now
And listen to you breathe
It's like the ocean sound
Whispering through the trees
In the hollow of your shoulder
There's a tidepool of my tears
Where the waves came crashing over
And the shoreline disappears >
Spike watched her from his place in the shadows. She looked happy. He
hated the man who had made her smile. Angel. He felt a twisting in his
gut as he watched his sire kiss Willow. She sighed up at him, love in
her eyes. Spike couldn't watch, but he couldn't turn away. The poof had
come back to Sunnydale. He had listened when she cried. He had taken her
love when it was offered. Spike had given her up...made his choice. It
was the wrong choice. He never smiled anymore. He had lost the one good
thing that he had ever had. Now, he watched from the shadows, living in
memories, as she lived her life.
< Baby close your eyes
Fly back there with me
Where the phosphor shines
Green flashlights from the sea
Our nets were full of soft shells
Our hearts were free from toil
And we made love on the kitchen table
Till the water reached a boil >
Willow smiled at Angel. He loved her. She could see it in his eyes. She
wished she could love him the way he deserved to be loved. She knew
Spike was in the shadows, watching. For him, she put on a brighter
smile. Laughed a little longer...a little louder. He would never know
that she was remembering their times together. Remembering the
laughter...the tears...the way he held her while she slept....the way
his mouth tasted. She smiled at Angel. He was the one she was with. She
loved him....just not as much as Spike.
< We hold it all for a little while, don't we
Kiss the dice, taste the rain
Like little knives on our tongue
We can do no wrong when the lights come on
And the music plays
And we take the stage like we own the place
As if time were cheap and the night forever young >
Spike watched in horror as the demon attacked. Willow stood frozen.
Angel tried to get her down, but she was worried about Spike. She turned
to him, catching his eyes. She started for him, wanting to save him. He
moved with speed. He had her in his arms and on the floor. He heard the
chaos above them as the slayer battled the demon. His eyes wouldn't
leave Willow's. He kissed her softly.
"I was wrong." he said quietly. "I loved you more than you'll ever
know."
Willow felt tears on her face. She kissed him. She watched as he closed
his eyes. The acid that the demon had sprayed eating through his skin.
"I love you...don't leave me....I was wrong. It was me," she said,
crying. He opened his eyes and looked at her.
"Never you....Love you." he smiled before dying in her arms.
< So let'em turn my soul
Seven shades of blue
And with the ocean's roll
I will wave to you
And the birds will sing my laughter
And the whales will steal my son
And I'll be ok forever after
And the world will get along >
< I'll be your dream
I'll be you wish; I'll be your fantasy
I'll be your hope, I'll be your love
Be everything that you need
I'll love you more with every breath
Truly, madly, deeply do
I will be strong, I will be faithful
Cause I'm counting on
A new beginning
A reason for living
A deeper meaning >
Willow woke up screaming Spike's name. It took her a minute to realize
that it had been a dream. She got out of bed and grabbed the sheet. She
had to make sure he was still alive.
Spike woke up gasping for unnecessary breath. Willow and Angel? He got
out of bed and pulled his shoes on. He had to see her. To tell her
everything. He ran out of his apartment, letting the door slam behind
him.
Willow ran through the park, tears blinding her. (Please let him be
alive...please let him be alive....) She saw familiar blond hair running
towards her.
"Spike!" She yelled out, getting his attention. He stopped. She saw that
he was wearing a pair of faded black jeans and no shirt.
"Willow!" Spike said in relief. He started towards her. He saw that she
was wearing her pajamas and had a sheet around her shoulders. She didn't
have any shoes on.
< I want to stand with you on a mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me
And when the stars are shining brightly in
the velvet sky
I'll make a wish to send it to heaven
Then make you want to cry
The tears of joy for all the
pleasure in the certainty
That we're surrounded by the
comfort and protection of
the highest powers
In lonely hours
The tears devour you >
"I love you" Willow said, holding him tight. "Don't die....please don't
die."
"I was wrong...It was always you. I was scared....I ran....I love
you...please don't run to Angel..."
Willow felt a light rain start falling as they kissed. She finally felt
whole again. She was complete.
Spike held her tightly to him. He was never letting her go. She was his.
He loved her.
The rain continued to fall on the pair. They stood in silence marvelling
at the love they had come so close to losing. Together they would make
it work.
< I want to stand with you on a mountain
I want to bathe with you in the sea
I want to lay like this forever
Until the sky falls down on me >
*************THE END ****************