Parts: 41 - 47
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Part: 41~
She was hungry.
Not only was she hungry, but she was sore. Her body hurt in places she'd never realized existed until Spike had found them with his rough grip. The closest memory she had to compare to the pain she was feeling was when she'd been knocked out in the library her junior year and ended up in the hospital. Her body had felt about like it did now. Being a vampire definitely had its benefits, though, because most of the marks on her body had already healed. She was still coated in blood and there were some bruises that would probably not fade for a few days, but everything had healed itself after she'd fed from Spike. And, as she had just learned, being healed didn't mean that there wasn't pain. It was a dull pain, just a reminder that her body had been put through a rough beating.
Spike was sleeping, his head resting against her breast, his arm around her waist possessively. He was snuggled against her, finally finding sleep after accepting that she wasn't planning on leaving him, that she understood his actions, that she loved him. She had seen love mirrored in his pretty blue eyes, knew he loved her as she loved him even if he had not said the words. She didn't need to hear the words, the look in his eyes enough for her. He was hers as she was his. She had never been loved with such pure emotion, with such passion, with such need and desire. Her memories of Oz were comfortable, familiar, sweet. Her memories of Tara were soft, friendly, safe. Her feelings for Spike were a combination of those plus so much more. He made her feel, one look from him exciting her, the sound of his voice arousing her, the touch of him making her feel safe and protected and desired.
She smiled softly as she moved her fingers to trace over his cheek, feeling him tighten his grip around her waist as he moved closer to her in sleep. She had decided what she wanted to do for him when she'd been kneeling in the corner holding him as he had cried silently, knowing instinctively what caused her sire the most pain. The implant had to be removed. She wasn't at all worried about the consequences of her decision. Removing the implant would allow her sire to be himself again, to not have insecurities regarding her love, to protect her and his from any threat, demon or human. She hated the implant that cursed her sire just as a soul cursed her great grandsire. She knew that performing such a task would probably change many things, but she was not overly concerned with those changes.
The biggest concern would be Xander and Buffy. While she did not presently care about her former friends, she had memories of loving Xander and Buffy at one time, of being very best friends with the pair, and she had no real desire to see them dead. If they hurt her family, she would kill them without hesitation, but she did not feel a thirst to see them killed. Spike, on the other hand, would probably love nothing more than to torture and kill the humans that had enjoyed his dependence on them, not to mention Buffy's using him for sex and laughing at his declarations of affection. Willow's eyes narrowed slightly as she thought of the slayer, an anger moving through her as she thought of the way the girl had treated those she called friend for years, of the way she had treated Spike, of the bruises on Dawn's arm just that afternoon. Yellow flashed as she realized that she would too easily be able to kill the slayer.
A part of Willow wanted nothing more than to see the blonde pay for her selfish acts of the past, to torture her and kill her for what she had done. Another part of her could remember the many times that Buffy had saved her, the late night patrols, the sleepovers, the laughter and the friendship that had meant so much to the shy hacker. If she were confronted by the slayer, Willow honestly didn't know which side would win that internal debate, and she had no particular interest in finding out. She had the same debate concerning Xander. She wanted to kill him for hurting her sire that evening, but she also had years of memories of the goofy boy that she had once loved so very much. It would be best to avoid both of them, to not force herself into making a decision of life or death for her former friends.
She wanted to talk to Spike about her intentions, let him know that she was going to remove the implant, but she also did not want to tell him until she had a spell that would work, until she knew without a doubt that she would be successful with her plan. He was her sire, her lover, her mate. She would not lie to him, but she also did not want him to be disappointed if she was not able to find a way to remove the metal from his head. She was pretty certain that she had read of something during research at the magic shop that could be used to remove the implant, having a vague memory of a spell that would require a lot of power but might work. She knew it was in a book somewhere, wishing she had paid more attention when originally seeing it. She decided that she would give more thought to her plan before sharing it. She would locate the correct book, find the spell, read it and make sure that it would work. Then, she would discuss her idea with Spike, once she was certain that it was possible. She would not disappoint him with false hope.
"Luv?" Spike looked up at Willow, having woken up to find himself snuggled against his beautiful childe, her hand gently touching his face as she appeared lost in thought.
"You should be sleeping," Willow scolded her sire softly, her green eyes moving to look at him when she heard his voice, her plans for removing implant forgotten for the moment as she looked into his eyes.
"So should you, pet," he said, his eyes flashing with guilt as he saw the blood that was still covering her pretty face. He'd been exceptionally rough with her, not caring that she was only a day old, not caring about anything except letting out his anger. She'd not protested once, giving herself to him completely. And then, when he'd realized what he'd done, when he'd seen that he was no better than Angelus had been to him, she'd put her arms around him and she'd told him she loved him. It had been that he'd realized that she wasn't going to leave him, that she was his, that he loved her. He could tell that she had not slept since they'd moved to the bed, her eyes alert and thoughtful.
"Not tired," she smiled slightly before she turned serious, "Spike, I need to tell you something."
"What is it, luv?" he asked, curious what had caused her to become so serious.
"I love you," she said simply, moving her fingers over his forehead as she watched him smile at her words, enjoying the look of pleasure that crossed his face at her words.
"I don't deserve you, Willow," he said softly, putting his fingers against her lips to prevent her from protesting as he continued, "I'm sorry."
"Shh," she gave him a soft smile, "I don't need apologies, sire. And you do deserve me so you'd better deal with it! I'm yours for eternity, Spike."
"Eternity, huh?" he felt himself smiling as he moved past his guilt, deciding the best thing way to apologize was to make sure that he never repeated the same mistake.
"Forever and ever," she whispered as she looked into his blue eyes.
"Forever and ever," he repeated before he moved swiftly, capturing her lips in a gentle, exploring kiss, careful not to touch her sore body for fear of causing her more pain that night. When he pulled back, he smiled softly as he laid his head beside hers, pulling her against him as he whispered back, "I think I can deal with that, luv."
~Part: 42~
Anya and Dawn arrived at the apartment a little over two hours after leaving. Anya was relieved to find the place silent, having deliberately stayed out as long as possible rather than risk coming home right in the middle of whatever had been happening between Spike and Willow. They'd spent their time having coffee and cake and then had gone to the store to check on things. She knew that she really needed to go to work the following day, having only missed one day but needing to make an appearance and see that things were running smoothly. She was going to take Dawn with her, let the girl have some projects to keep her busy and hopefully quiet. It would give Willow and Spike some time alone following the entire ordeal tonight, which she figured would be good for the vampires.
"It's quiet," Dawn said, relief evident in her voice. She'd been scared about what they might find when they got home, knowing it would be far easier to accept what had happened without having to hear it. Anya had prepared her, though, and Dawn was resigned to the idea that Willow was going to be bruised when she saw her again. She couldn't understand exactly what was happening, having an idea but not able to fully understand. It was just something else that had come up in the last day that she didn't quite get, and she figured that it wouldn't be the last.
"We gave them enough time," Anya decided as she took off her coat. "They're probably sleeping by now."
"Oh, look. We have a message," Dawn saw the blinking red light and moved to rewind the recorder. She turned up the volume but kept it low enough not to disturb the other room. She hit play and was startled to hear Xander's voice.
"I can't believe he called," Anya said, moving closer to hear what Xander was saying. She sighed when it finished, glancing at Dawn.
"He realized he screwed up," Dawn said with a slight sniffle. She still wasn't happy with Xander, but she couldn't deny the emotion she'd heard in his voice or the fact that he was crying.
"A bit late for that," Anya said, frowning as she replaced the recorder tape. She would let Spike decide if Willow should hear the message, not wanting to risk erasing it by accident. She really was glad that Xander had acknowledged his part in what had happened, knowing that it had taken him a lot to thank Spike for turning Willow. The risk of threat from him seemed to be no longer existent, which was a relief.
"Yeah," Dawn agreed with Anya, knowing that Xander had made his choice and that no amount of apologies could change what had happened. "He does love Willow, though, so it means we shouldn't have to worry about him trying anything stupid."
"I was just thinking that," Anya looked at Dawn with a smile. "He should be able to keep Buffy on a leash, too, which helps."
"What happens next?" Dawn asked as she sat down, asking a question that had been nagging at her mind for most of the day.
"What do you mean?" Anya asked as she sat down opposite the teen in her comfy chair.
"I don't know," Dawn shrugged, "I mean, we've decided that Willow is perfect just like she is, no soul needed. We've been worried about protecting her from Buffy and Xander but it appears that Xander has accepted what has happened and there's a real good chance that he'll be able to talk to Buffy and make her realize that it was what had to be done. It's just been a little over a day and so much has changed but I can't help feeling that there's more to come, you know?"
"I understand," Anya admitted. "I really don't know what the future holds, Brat. Right now, we know that Willow is adjusting well, and that Xander is not going to do something that is even more stupid than his normal actions. I'd say that's good enough for now."
"You're right," Dawn decided as she covered a yawn.
"And tomorrow, we know that we're going to work," Anya reminded, "and that's as far into the future as I care to delve at the moment."
"Me too," Dawn agreed, "Everything has happened so fast that I'm still sort of in shock…I guess I've finally been able to stop worrying about it all and have finally had time to realize that so much has changed in such a short time."
"You're tired," Anya said, watching as the teen yawned again. She understood about how quickly everything had changed, still finding it a bit surprising that Willow was a vampire and that Spike was her sire. Not only that, but she'd extended her protection to Dawn which meant she liked the annoying brat more than she wanted to admit. That probably bothered her more than anything else at the moment, making her wonder when her annoyance had turned into grudging respect and affection. "Why don't you go ahead and make up the bed? We've got a long day of work tomorrow."
"Sure," Dawn began to pull out the sofa bed, glad that Anya had asked her if she wanted to go to work the next day. It would be nice to be busy for a while. Besides, she usually had fun helping out at the shop, though she hadn't worked there since Giles had moved to England. Anya had never been one of her favorite people and she'd done her best to avoid being around the woman unless it was necessary. Now, she wondered why she'd been so stupid. She'd gotten to know the demon pretty well over the last day and she had to say that Anya was really neat. She was smart and funny and treated her like an adult. She had gone from Dawn's list of least favorite to being right underneath Willow and Spike on the list of favorites. Yet another change over the last day that she was still trying to adjust to. Not only had Tara died, Willow been turned into a vampire, she slapped Buffy, but Anya had become one of her most favorite people in the world. She finished making the bed, crawling into it as she covered another yawn, not bothering to put on her pajamas as she sleepily told Anya, "Good-night."
Anya smiled at the sleepy teenager, figuring it wouldn't be ten minutes before she fast asleep. She turned off the light and laid down, getting comfortable before she said, "Sweet dreams, Brat."
~Part: 43~
It was the early morning hours of the day when Willow woke up. She was laying in Spike's arms, his head resting beside hers on the pillow, his left arm around her waist holding her close to him. She snuggled closer to her sire as she started to wake up. The soreness in her body had faded throughout the night, the pain nearly gone. She had fed from her sire one last time before falling asleep, his powerful blood helping her heal even more quickly. She was hungry but didn't wish to disturb him, knowing that he needed to sleep. Instead, she lay contentedly in his arms, enjoying the feel of his body against hers.
She cocked her head when she heard a noise coming from the other room, listening intently before she decided that Anya was awake. Dawn was still sleeping if the steady breathing and constant heartbeat was any indication. Willow's expression grew thoughtful as she felt the hunger nagging at her. She finally decided to try something, curious if it would work but not sure if it would. She'd only been successful a few previous times, and it had always been with Spike, but she'd never really given it much of a try. She took an unnecessary breath and let it out slowly as she concentrated on contacting Anya.
"Anya."
Anya was sitting at the table flipping through one of the books she'd brought home from the store when she heard Willow call her name. She looked up and frowned when she saw the closed door, knowing that she'd not been imagining things.
"Anya?"
It took her a minute to realize that Willow was inside her head. Once she made that realization, she relaxed, responding to the redhead mentally, "Yes, Willow?"
"Oh, good. It worked."
Anya felt herself smiling at the relief she could hear in the voice in her head, forgetting for a moment that Willow was now a powerful vampire, remembering instead the insecure witch that was always convinced her spells would go wrong. She'd have figured that Willow would have realized her natural gift by now and been completely confident in her abilities, but it appeared that, even in death, Willow wasn't sure her magic would work. She leaned back in the chair, wondering why Willow was talking to her this way when she was just in the next room, answering the redhead as she thought, "It worked, Willow. Why are you awake? It's pretty early and you must be sore after last night."
"Actually, I feel pretty good," Willow thought to Anya, smiling as she was able to have a conversation with her friend without leaving Spike's embrace and without having to get dressed. Why hadn't she attempted this for personal use before now instead of just using it to communicate with Spike when they'd been patrolling? She was aware that Anya seemed to know what must have happened last night, hoping that Dawn wasn't, not wanting the human to be upset. She continued talking to Anya as she felt Spike stir beside her, his arm tightening as his lips brushed against her neck before he drifted back into a peaceful sleep, "A bit bruised but nothing that won't go away. I've spent the last two days sleeping, it seems, and don't really feel tired. Spike is sleeping and I don't wish to disturb him by getting out of bed so I thought I'd try this telepathy thing with you when I heard you moving."
"It appears that you're good at the telepathy thing," Anya replied back, "do you need anything?"
"I'm actually kind of hungry," Willow confessed, "and I was hoping you wouldn't mind bringing me something to eat. There are still some bags of blood left, aren't there?"
"There are several," Anya said as she got to her feet and quietly began preparing a bag for Willow. She didn't want to wake Dawn up anymore than Willow wanted to wake Spike so she decided to use the stove to heat the blood instead of the microwave. "I'm heating one for you right now. By the way, Dawn and I are going to need to use my bathroom in a couple of hours. It's been a couple of days since I've showered and we had to go to the bathroom before we came home last night because we didn't want to disturb you two."
"I'm so sorry," Willow apologized, "I forgot that you only had the one bathroom. You can shower whenever you want."
"Dawn and I are going to the store today to work for a few hours and to give you and Spike some privacy so we'll probably shower before we leave. Is that going to be a good time for Spike?" Anya asked as she watched the blood heat up, not wanting to intrude on Spike's rearing of his childe no matter how normal and advanced Willow appeared to be.
"It's a fine time, Anya. This is your apartment, after all. I'm so grateful that you've allowed us to stay here with you," Willow said as she waited for her snack. "I honestly don't know what we'd have done without you."
"I love you," Anya said simply as she poured the blood into a mug. "I'd do anything for you guys, you know that. Letting you have my bedroom for a few days is not a problem at all. The blood is finished heating. Can I bring it to you?"
~Part: 44~
"Please do," Willow said as she moved to sit up slightly, doing her best not to wake Spike up. She heard the door open and watched as Anya entered the room, the demon's eyes moving swiftly over her and Spike's nude bodies before meeting her eyes.
"The bruises aren't that bad. They'll soon fade," Anya thought to Willow as she handed her the mug of heated blood. She wasn't at all surprised that Spike had already cleaned the blood from his childe, the wounds having already had time to start healing as they slept. "Do you need anything else?"
Willow's eyes flashed yellow as she drank, her hunger causing her drink quickly. When she was finished, she licked her lips and handed the mug back to Anya. She thought about Anya's question, deciding that she didn't want to try researching for a way to remove Spike's implant until she could really concentrate, which would require her to sire to be clothed and not holding her so close. She smiled at the demon and said, "I'm fine now. Thanks for the blood. How is Dawn doing?"
"She's adjusting remarkably well, actually," Anya said as she moved to sit down, a bit surprised that Willow seemed ready to have a chat when she was laying naked in her sire's arms with his own nude body pressed against her. Of course, Willow really hadn't had much time or energy over the last couple of days to talk about anything so she could understand the redhead's desire to have some questions answered. "Asks a lot of questions but she's handling everything with a maturity I honestly didn't think she possessed."
"Dawny is special," Willow said with a fond smile as she thought of the human teenager that she remembered so well. "Buffy treats her like a child so she has a tendency to act like one to get her sister's attention. She's very smart, though, and wise beyond her years."
"She loves you and Spike a lot," Anya thought to Willow, finding it rather nice to be having a conversation with someone that wasn't asking tons of questions she didn't have answers for.
"And we love her," Willow responded, "I'm glad she had you there for her during all of this. I trust you completely and know that you helped her deal with all of this. She's overly curious and has probably been hounding you with questions, but I'm glad that she had someone that would be honest with her."
"She's not that bad, for a bratty teenager," Anya smiled slightly, letting the redhead know she was teasing.
"She's going to help you at the store today, huh? I bet she's excited at that idea," Willow said, glad to see that Anya seemed to like Dawn. They were the only two people besides her sire that she loved and had it was nice that they were both getting along rather well.
"I am planning on giving her many activities that require her to be busy so she can't stand around and pester me with more questions," Anya told Willow.
"She'll still find a way," Willow warned with a smile. She felt movement beside her and glanced at Spike, watching as he moved closer to her, his arm pulling her against him even more. She looked back at Anya and said, "I think Spike is starting to wake up. Do you want to take your shower now?"
"Actually, I think I'll wait a while longer," she decided, not really in the mood yet to get dressed for work. She stood and moved towards the door, smiling at Willow as she said, "If you need anything else, just let me know. It was really nice talking to you, Willow."
"Yeah, it was nice, wasn't it?" Willow smiled at her friend before Anya left the room and shut the door. She turned her attention to Spike, her green eyes moving over his handsome face as he continued to sleep, a smile crossing her lips as she leaned over and brushed her lips gently against his before she snuggled against him to wait for him to wake up.
~Part: 45~
Anya was sitting at the table reading a book on the history of witchcraft when she heard movement coming from the living room. She glanced up from a passage that was recounting the Salem Witch Trials, her eyes flashing with anger that she couldn't control from reading about that particular part of history. Her eyes softened when she noticed that Dawn was waking up. It had been a little over an hour since she had seen Willow, since they had had their talk. She felt better about a lot of things now. It wasn't that she had ever really been that worried about Willow being turned or about the relationship that was forming between Spike and Willow, but a part of her must have been a bit concerned because she was much more relaxed after their talk.
Willow seemed to be adjusting well. Very well, in fact. The redhead wasn't acting like most new vampires, though Anya was by no means an expert on vampires and their behavior. She did know that Willow was different. There wasn't the usual stupidity or fear, the denial or uncontrollable blood lust. When she had looked into those familiar green eyes, she had seen acceptance and knowledge and power. Willow was strong. Not only was she a newly created childe by one of the stronger of her kind, but she was a witch. She was a powerful witch that had only just begun to realize her true potential. Anya had to admit that she was rather glad that Willow seemed to have retained a bit of her humanity. If she hadn't, if the redhead had been blood crazed and not had such a devoted sire, well, Anya didn't really want to consider what havoc might have occurred. As it was, those considerations were not an issue. Willow was completely in control. She had no desire to cause destruction and mayhem for the humans around her.
Anya closed her book after marking her place, knowing that she would get no further reading accomplished with the brat waking up. She'd enjoyed the peace and quiet of the early morning, enjoyed talking to Willow and seeing for herself that things were going well and everything was falling into place as it should. Dawn wasn't nearly as awful as she had once thought, but the teen was too curious and didn't seem to know how to stop talking. Anya realized that this was a strange time for the girl, knew that the teen was having a difficult time understanding everything that was happening, so she was trying to be as patient as helpful as possible. Hopefully, when Dawn finally had all her questions answered, she'd be quiet once in a while. Anya almost laughed at that idea, not knowing many teenagers that were quiet. Maybe when she was twenty she'd learn about the joy of silence.
"Morning," Dawn mumbled as she stretched, getting out of bed and covering a yawn as she approached the table where Anya was sitting.
"Good morning," Anya replied, covering her own yawn as she said, "stop that. No more yawning."
"Yes, Mom," Dawn answered back with a smirk as she sat down. "Do you have any cereal? I've got a growly tummy this morning."
"I have fruit loops in the cabinet," Anya said, "and there is milk in the fridge."
"I think I'll have a bowl when I finish waking up," Dawn decided. She glanced at the closed door to the bedroom and asked softly, "Have you heard anything from our vamps?"
"I spoke to Willow a couple of hours ago," Anya said, watching as Dawn looked at her with surprise. "Not speaking speak, but mental speak."
"Huh?"
"She used telepathy to talk to me. She didn't want to disturb Spike so we spoke mentally," Anya explained. "I gave her some blood for a snack and got to check on her. She's good."
"He didn't hurt her, then?" Dawn said, relief flashing in her eyes.
"He didn't hurt her, Dawn, but she is covered in bruises and bites," Anya said slowly, having seen the look on the teen's face, feeling guilty for having to destroy her relief.
"I don't understand," Dawn said honestly. "You said he didn't hurt her but she's bruised which means he must have hit her. How did that not hurt her?"
"I can't even pretend to understand it enough to explain it," Anya said with a shrug, "we discussed it last night. You said you could understand it a bit. They're vampires. The beating meant nothing to her. It didn't hurt her except physically and she's already starting to heal. Different things hurt different people, Dawn. A human purely beating another human for no reason is bad, and it should not be tolerated. Never let anyone hit you and just accept it. Promise me that. Vampires and demons are different than humans, though. We see things in a different way. He beat her out of anger and annoyance. She is his childe and she accepted his anger. I don't know. I'm not very good at this explaining thing. I'm not a teacher and I don't even understand all of it. Pain is different for us, it means different things than it means to you humans."
"I know that vampires and demons are different," Dawn said, "but I don't understand how it didn't hurt her. She loves him. I can't imagine letting someone you love beat you for any reason at all, especially just because he was mad at someone else. It really makes me angry, if I'm honest. I can't believe Spike would do that to someone he loves."
"You're thinking like a human," Anya said, "I really don't think we're ever going to understand what happened last night. I'm a demon and I know why it happened and I know what Willow is feeling and even what Spike is feeling, but it's hard to fully understand it unless it is you experiencing it. Just know that Willow wanted to share that with Spike, she wanted him to share his anger and his annoyance because she loves him. If he had not been honest with her, if he hadn't shared the bad along with the good, she'd have been hurt. I don't expect you to understand, Dawn, but do not blame Spike for being true to his demon. Spike does love Willow and I *know* that he regretted lashing out when he realized what he was doing and I'm sure he feels guilty for not having more control. He doesn't need you glaring at him or being angry with him when he's already angry with himself."
"But, see, you say he feels guilty and is angry at himself. If he was just being true to his demon and there is nothing wrong with him lashing out at Willow, why is he angry at himself?" Dawn asked.
"Spike loves Willow. He would feel guilty and angry for hurting the one person he loves even if it was his nature and he just let the demon have control," Anya said, her patience starting to fade. She did not want to discuss this topic anymore, knowing that a human could never understand. She did not tolerate abuse, human or demon. She'd had many wishes made by women that had suffered at the hands of a monster that hit out of frustration and other various reasons. She could understand why a human would feel anger at the idea of such things happening, taking special delight in torturing those men that used their fists, but vampires and demons were different. It was not the same. Okay, Spike had lashed out in frustration and annoyance, letting Willow bear the brunt of his anger, but Willow was not a helpless victim. She was a vampire. It was her nature, also. She and Spike were the same. Because she loved Spike, she welcomed his anger and had probably been aroused at the power that her sire gave off. Anya wasn't even about to get started on explaining about finding such things arousing, as a majority of vampires and demons did.
"You're right. I don't understand, not really," Dawn sighed, running a hand through her hair. "If Willow is okay and she doesn't seem to mind what happened last night, I don't really have the right to say anything about it. I guess I can't blame Spike for being a vampire and for doing what it was natural for him to do."
"So there won't be any glaring or making him feel even worse than he probably already does?" Anya asked.
"It might take me some time before I deal with what he did, because, to me, he hurt Willow because he was mad at Xander and I just don't like that and I don't see how he could do that to someone he loves, but I won't be rude to him. I love Spike," Dawn admitted, "and I don't want to make him feel bad for something he couldn't really help."
"You know what, brat, you're more mature than I ever would have guessed," Anya declared as she smiled slightly, watching as Dawn smiled at her praise. She got up and said, "I think I could use some food. I'll get you a bowl of fruit loops, kid."
~Part: 46~
"I think I was even more hungry than I thought," Dawn stated after she finished the last of her cereal. She looked at Anya and smiled sheepishly, "I think I'm going to have another bowl."
"There's half a box left," Anya said, having eaten a rather large bowl of cereal herself. The stress of the last couple of days had left her without much of an appetite but it seemed that, since things were calming down, she was getting it back.
"I need food anyway, since we're going to be working today," Dawn justified her second bowl of cereal as she poured half a bowl of colored circles into the remainder of her milk. "You know, it's going to be a bit weird to be at work."
"Would that be because you're a spoiled brat that isn't used to working?" Anya asked sweetly, her eyes amused as Dawn stuck her tongue out at her.
"I work," Dawn defended, "I help Willow with dinner and groceries and cleaning. Buffy is the one that doesn't do that much. She's so lazy! She uses the excuse that she spends eight hours working and making money and that that is enough work for anyone. She won't even do laundry! She'll cook sometimes, but usually only when someone is helping her."
"Okay, okay…stop with the chatty Cathy routine," Anya said with a roll of her eyes. "So you work, you just don't get money for doing so. That's weird, to me. What's weird to you then?"
"Well, what I just said," Dawn tried to explain, "none of that is going to be happening ever again. Willow and I won't make dinner as Buffy complains about her day. Going to work with you, well, I don't know. It makes me realize what all has happened the last few days and it just seems weird to be going to work as if everything is normal when everything is different."
"I actually do understand that," Anya admitted. "For two days we've been dealing with what happened. But, things are settling down a bit. Spike is learning how to be a sire and acknowledging his feelings for Willow. Willow is adjust extremely well and is very much in love with her sire. I don't foresee Xander and Buffy being a problem. Life moves on. I feel that we have both adjusted, too. I can now tolerate you. Getting back to work will be good for me. I can make more money and perhaps buy a larger home to accommodate our vamps. I do love them both dearly, but I am growing discontent with sleeping on the sofa."
"You're not so bad yourself, and I'm glad I've gotten to know you better," Dawn said with a smile, knowing that Anya admitting she could now tolerate her was the closest thing that she'd get to the demon saying that she really did like her. She had to admit that she had learned a lot from Anya in a short time. She'd never really liked the woman, but now could count her among her three best friends in the world. She felt safe with Anya, protected and cared for, despite Anya calling her a brat and feigning annoyance. She was not happy that Willow died, the experience of finding Tara and Willow laying in pools of blood haunting her whenever she closed her eyes and not likely to go completely away ever, but she had to selfishly acknowledge that she was happier now than she could remember being. Willow was happy and loved, Spike was happy and loved, Anya was becoming a close friend and teaching her so many different things. She didn't think she'd change anything that happened since she'd gotten off the school bus two days before. Knowing that, realizing just how true that statement was, well, it made her feel a bit guilty. Tara was dead and Willow was technically dead and she could sit here at the table and honestly say she wouldn't change it. What kind of person did that make her? Was she horrible and evil for thinking such things?
"What's on your mind, brat?" Anya asked, her eyes watching Dawn's face as she saw confusion and guilt flashing in the teen's eyes.
"It's nothing," Dawn shook her head and smiled, deciding that she didn't care what other people might say if they knew what she was thinking. She was happy. Her friends were happy. That's all that mattered. "I was just thinking back over everything that has happened since I got out of school the other day. I can't believe it's only been two days. It seems like so much longer."
"Stressful situations tend to feel even longer than normal," Anya said, thinking over what Dawn had said and what she had seen in the girl's eyes. Putting two and two together, she asked, "Do you regret calling Spike that afternoon? You don't, do you? That's why you felt guilty. You like how everything is turning out and you think that makes you a bad person because it meant Willow's death. Am I right?"
"How do you do that?" Dawn asked softly, shrugging finally as she admitted, "Yeah, I was sort of thinking something like that. Does it make me a bad person?"
"I'm a demon, kid," Anya reminded, "wrong person to ask. Personally, I don't think it does because there was nothing you could have done. Willow was going to die. It didn't matter if it was from bleeding to death or because Spike turned her. Either way, she was not going to be alive anymore. You made the best choice. You had no idea that Spike was going to adapt so well to being a sire. You didn't know that there were feelings between Willow and Spike that they had both ignored or never realized until their relationship changed into that of a sire and childe. You had no way of knowing anything that was going to happen beyond keeping Willow with us in the only way possible. I don't consider that selfish or bad because I would have done the exact same thing. But, no, I don't think you're a bad person, Dawn. And neither do Spike and Willow."
"I think that I kind of like you tolerating me, Anya," Dawn said quietly, a smile on her face as she blinked away tears, feeling much better after hearing that Anya would have done the same thing and having someone else confirm that she had made the right choice. She'd been thinking about it a lot since it had happened, feeling guilty for being happy when Tara was dead and Willow was a vampire and she was fighting with Xander and Buffy, knowing in part of her mind that she'd made the best decision, the only decision, but also having doubts at the same time. Now, she had finally realized that she had no reason to feel guilty. She could be happy because the people she cared about did not blame her, they didn't think she was bad, and they were the only ones whose opinion mattered to her anymore.
"Yeah, well, whatever," Anya gave a brief smile, glad that her viewpoint seemed to have made Dawn less stressed. It wasn't that she actually liked the girl, she just didn't want to get stressed because Dawn was upset and nervous. That's the only reason she'd been putting up with the teen for the last couple of days. Damn it, she frowned. She wasn't believing that anymore. She made a face as she groaned, "Fuck."
"What is it?" Dawn asked, curious eyes looking at Anya as the woman made a terrible face. "Do you feel sick?"
"This is horrible. I just can't believe it," Anya groaned again, not able to deny it any longer. She glared at Dawn as she spat out, "Why'd you have to go and make me like you, Brat?"
~Part: 47~
"I'm a friend?" Dawn repeated, a large smile crossing her face.
"God, how did that happen?" Anya asked as she covered her face with her hands. "I don't even like you!"
"We're friends," Dawn said, ignoring Anya's antics, "that is so cool! I like you, too, Anya. If it hadn't been for you the last two days, I don't know what I'd have done. You've helped me deal with Tara's death and Willow's turning and Spike's vampire stuff that I don't even understand and you mean a lot to me."
"Thanks, Brat," Anya said softly, exchanging a serious look with the teen, "if you hadn't done what you did, calling Spike and asking him to turn Willow, well, I'd have lost my only real friend. Now, I've got three for the price of one resouling spell that I didn't even have to do!"
"You know, I realize that nothing is going to ever be the same again and I don't care," Dawn confessed quietly, "I don't know. It's like, things happened that we couldn't predict or control but it's almost like they were meant to happen. Slapping Buffy yesterday? It felt good! It was such a rush finally standing up to her and calling her on how she treated Spike and Willow and everyone around her. She and I are never going to be able to go back to how it was before, not that our relationship was all that great anyway. Tara's gone and I feel a sense of loss for her, but I feel guilty because I've already accepted her death and have moved on to being so happy that Willow and Spike seem to finally be together, even if the circumstances aren't what I'd always imagined. And I lost Xander as a friend, because I may eventually forgive him for being so caught up in Buffy that he didn't check on Willow and Tara and maybe save them, but I won't ever forget that he didn't, even though I'm glad he didn't, and that makes me such a horrible person to admit that! I don't care that Tara died and that Willow had to be turned because I didn't lose Willow and I think she and Spike are finally maybe going to be happy and I became your friend. I'm a horrible awful person for thinking like that, aren't I?"
"Haven't we already had this discussion?" Anya asked, "I don't mind admitting that we're friends now, but I do not plan to sit around talking about the same things over and over. You are not a bad person. Willow is not gone. Spike has a childe to love and adore. Willow and Spike are happy. Xander is a moron. Buffy is a bitch. And we are friends. Simple as that."
"If only it were that simple," Dawn sighed, giving Anya a small smile. "Sorry, it's all just finally hitting me and I'm thinking too much. I guess, well, what happens next?"
"What do you mean?" Anya asked, deciding that she might have been too hasty in declaring Dawn her friend. If the teen kept asking so many silly questions and continued to be guilty, she might change her mind about being friends.
"Willow is a vampire. She and Spike are all coupley and involved and she doesn't have a soul and Buffy isn't going to be happy about any of that," Dawn said, "I don't think Buffy would try to hurt Willow, but I don't know how she's going to react to everything. I don't want Spike or Willow to be hurt because Buffy's having issues. I know we did the spell to protect them and all that, but I still worry about them. And I can't see how I'm going to go back to the house and pretend like my entire world didn't change two days ago. Nothing is the same anymore, and I can't act like it is. What am I supposed to do? What happens to me?"
"I don't know," Anya said honestly. She shrugged, "I don't know what is going to happen me, either. I threatened Xander. He's going to run off and tell his little slayer I'm sure. She's been looking for an excuse to kill me and I'd say helping Spike turn Willow, threatening Xander, and being your friend might be enough to let her justify it."
"I won't let her hurt any of you," Dawn declared, "she'll have to go through me to get to you and Willow and Spike. Right now, we don't really have to worry about Buffy. She was shot and hurt pretty bad so I don't think she'll be ready to start any kind of fight until she'd better. Plus, she's not that smart but she's not that stupid. She honestly wouldn't have a chance of defeating Willow and Spike if she tried to make it a battle. No offense cause you're real strong and all, but she is a better fighter than you so she'd have a chance fighting you."
"None taken, Kid," Anya said, knowing that she wasn't a big fighter, even if she could hold her own when needed. She hoped that Dawn was right, that Buffy didn't turn it all into a fight. She shook her head, "Come on. Let's see if Willow will let us use the restroom so we can go to work and make money."
"Money is always good," Dawn said with a small smile.
Anya paused and said softly, "You do not need to be worried about yourself, Dawn. We will not let anything happen to you because we do care about you so you've got us for what that's worth."
"That is worth a lot, Anya," Dawn said with a grateful smile.
Anya nodded and smiled briefly before she moved to her bedroom door. She opened it very slowly, seeing that Spike was still asleep. She looked at Willow, noticing the redhead staring at her sire with a loving smile on her face, touching his face gently as he slept. Green eyes moved to look at her. She motioned to the bathroom and pantomimed taking a shower and then pointed at her and then Dawn. She looked at Spike and made a gesture to indicate whether or not it was okay for them to take a quick shower.
Willow smiled and nodded, agreeing that Anya and Dawn could come in to use the shower. She covered Spike and herself with a blanket, snuggling closer to her sire as he continued to sleep, turning her attention back to him. Anya came in and got a change of clothes from her closet and drawers before going into the bathroom. Willow heard the shower turn on, hoping that Spike was able to sleep until Anya and Dawn left for work. She wanted them to be alone when he woke up, wanting to show him how much she loved him and to reaffirm that he had not hurt her or lost her after his actions the previous evening. If anything, she loved him even more, sharing his anger and pain with him. She rested her head on his chest, enjoying the feeling of her sire against her body as she closed her eyes, a smile on her face as she thought of how much she loved the man beside her.
next | back