ULTERIOR MOTIVES (1/?)
 

"Wh..wh..what are you doing here?"
 

Spike smiled as he savored the scent of fear that filled the air. He watched
her squirm in place, her eyes darting around as if looking for someone to
save her. His smile softened as he realized she might run off before he could
even make his proposition. "I needed to talk to you."
 

"Me? Why?" she asked, obviously confused.
 

"I lied for you," he said simply.
 

She shook her head, still puzzled, "Lied? For me? How?"
 

"You really don't know?" he asked, almost laughing as she shook her head
quickly. Her heart was racing, the fear still strong. Damn, it felt good to
be feared again. "Last night. With your little friends. I lied."
 

"You lied?" Tara squeaked, glancing around the empty library. She had never
said more than a half a dozen words to Spike yet he had found her alone to
talk to her and now claimed that he had lied for her. "How?"
 

He moved the chair opposite her, sprawling in it as his blue eyes scanned the
library for any of the little gang. He knew the slayer was out with her boy
toy hunting and it appeared Red was helping the watcher. Good, he couldn't
talk to the little witch with the others around. "You don't remember?"
 

Tara's face grew thoughtful as she remembered the night before. Her family
had been there and the fight. Her father lying to her and making her think
she was a demon. Buffy standing up for her, the others standing up for her.
The feeling of belonging. Suddenly, her eyes widened as she remembered Spike
moving forward and hitting her then clutching his head in pain.
 

"The little girl's finally got it," Spike said with a smirk.
 

"No," Tara said, shaking her head as she looked at the table top. Her hands
were shaking as she tried to understand what he was eluding to.
 

"Got them off your back, didn't I?" he asked.
 

"Why?" she asked, looking up into his cold blue eyes and almost shivering
from the lack of emotion in them.
 

"Well, it's a funny thing," he began, "I was gonna just sit back and let them
take you away. No skin off my nose, ya see? Then I realized that I could
help. A sort of, you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours."
 

"But, I don't feel different," Tara said quietly, not wanting anyone to
overhear their conversation. What was she going to do? Suddenly, she frowned,
"I'll scratch yours?"
 

"Yeah, little witch," he said with a smile. "See, I realized that you could
help me. I saved your ass last night. Lied and acted like I couldn't hurt
you. Let the daft slayer figure out the rest. I never actually said you were
human. Just said it must be a fact."
 

"You..you won't tell them?" she asked. "I mean, are you sure? I don't feel
like a demon. I haven't changed or anything."
 

He shrugged, "Ya might not for a bit. It's there though. I can feel it. Why
the hell would I lie about it?"
 

"I don't know," she confessed.
 

"I won't tell, if you help me," he said.
 

"With what?" she asked. "What could I ever do to help you?"
 

"You're the witch. Find a spell to get this damn chip outta my head," he said.
 

Her eyes widened, "I couldn't do that. You'd be able to hurt people again."
 

He moved quickly, his hand grabbing her chin, his fingers digging into her
skin, "You will do that or I'll tell them the truth."
 

"You're hurting me," she whispered, tears in her eyes. She saw his eyes flash
yellow as she realized he was telling the truth. She wasn't human or else
he'd be in pain. He was emotionless, his eyes hard. What was she going to do?
 

"Like I care?" he asked, his tone amused depsite the lack of humor on his
face. "I want this chip out. I'm sick of being weak, of being pathetic. I
want to be myself again. You, little witch, are going to find a spell of some
sort to get it out. Or else, I'll be whispering sweet nothings in Red's ear.
Wonder what she'd think if she knew she was shagging a demon. Bet she'd be
pretty quick in tossing you out on your scrawny little ass right before the
slayer killed ya. What do you think?"
 

"Y..y..you couldn't hurt Willow," she said, her hands going to claw at his as
he tightened his hold on her throat.
 

"I won't hurt your girl," he said with a roll of his eyes. "Can you do it?"
 

"I don't have a choice," she said softly, breathing in deep gulps as he
released her.
 

"Good," he smiled as he leaned back.
 

"Do you know what I am?" she had to ask. She couldn't believe this was
happening. Last night had been the first night in years that she had slept
the entire night through. No nightmares of being a demon. No horrible
thoughts of killing people she loved. Goddess, what if she hurt Willow?
 

"Not a clue," he shrugged, "can't tell you guys apart. One's about the same
as another. Kind of have the same sort of smell even. Do you need anything
from me before you start?"
 

She shook her head, "No. If I do, well, I know where to find you. You just
want the implant removed?"
 

"Yes," he nodded. "I want that damn thing gone. I want to be myself again."
 

"And you promise not to hurt Willow?" she had to know. If she doubted him,
she'd rather lose Willow by being a demon than be responsible for her death.
 

His eyes flashed completely yellow as he hissed, "I could never hurt Red."
 

"If...if I turned into something that tried to hurt her," Tara stammered, not
sure if she could ask.
 
 

He smiled, his eyes cold blue again, "I'd kill ya, if that's what you want."
 

"Please?" she asked.
 

He shrugged, "If you try to hurt Red, I can kill ya."
 

She smiled softly, "Thanks." She took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as
she cleared her head, "I can start looking for something tonight, but I don't
know how long this might take."
 

"No huge hurry," he said, his mind thinking, "not like I haven't lived with
this for the last year or so anyway. What's another few months? Doubtful that
I'd suddenly decide that I want to keep it, right?"
 

"Right," she echoed softly, thankful that he didn't seem to be a big hurry.
It would give her time to work on it without drawing Willow's curiosity.
 

"No one finds out about this," he said," and no one finds out that you're
less than human."
 

"Thanks," she said. "For not saying anything last night. I don't think I
could handle losing Willow...."
 

"What-ever," he said, giving her no doubt that he had done this for his own
benefit and not hers. "I'll check with you in a couple of weeks."
 

"I'll um get in touch if I find anything," Tara said, watching him leave
before closing her eyes and putting her head on the table and finally letting
the tears fall down her cheeks.

ULTERIOR MOTIVES (2/?)
 

"You're so tense," Willow said as she moved her hands over her girlfriend's
shoulders.
 

"Am I?" Tara asked, moaning softly as she moved against the bed. She closed
her eyes, forgetting everything except the feel of Willow's hands on her body.
 

"Yeah," Willow smiled softly, moving her hands against Tara's skin. She loved
touching Tara. It was so weird that something as simple as touching could
make her so happy.
 

"Hmm, that feels good," Tara said.
 

"Where were you tonight?" Willow asked as she pushed her hands in deeper.
Years of helping Buffy loosen up after a long night of patrol were paying
off. Of course, she'd never massaged Buffy in quite the same way. Her cheeks
reddened as she pushed that particular mental image away. She loved Buffy,
but not in quite the same way she loved Tara. Nudity and Buffy just weren't
two things she wanted to think about together. She shook her head to clear
her thoughts and laughed softly, "I missed you."
 

"I had things to do," Tara said a bit more sharply than she had planned.
 

"O...kay," Willow said with a small frown as she felt Tara stiffen. "So,
Buffy wants us to come over tomorrow. She was talking about having a slumber
party."
 

"I think I'm going to be busy," Tara said. "I'm working on some things."
 

"Some spells?" Willow asked, having seen her girlfriend with a few books she
hadn't seen before.
 

"No," Tara said, her voice not at all convincing. "Something for class."
 

"Oh," Willow replied, closing her eyes briefly. Why was Tara lying to her?
She had seen the books, knew that they were new. Well, not new. There had
been three books that all appeared to be rather old and falling apart. What
was Tara getting into? "So, you don't think you'll make it over to Buffy's
tomorrow?"
 

"No," Tara said. "But you should enjoy it. You two haven't really seen each
other a lot lately."
 

"I could miss it. Stay here and help you with your studies," Willow said,
waiting.
 

"I don't need you," Tara said. "You can use a fun night with Buffy."
 

"OK, spill it," Willow said, moving off of Tara's back and staring at her
girlfriend. "Have I done something?"
 

"What?" Tara looked at Willow, her eyes wide, "Goddess no."
 

"Then what is it?" Willow demanded. "The past couple of weeks you've been
pushing me away constantly. If it wasn't something I've done, what is it? We
were doing well...."
 

"You're imagining things," Tara said, frowning. She sat up, running a hand
through her hair. "Willow, there's nothing wrong between us."
 

"Then explain why you're always too busy for me," Willow asked. "It's been
weeks since you've really talked to me. You're here but you're never really
here. We were good on your birthday. It seems like after that, though, you're
pushing me away."
 

"I love you, Willow," Tara said truthfully. "I'd never push you away. I've
just been dealing with a lot lately. School is getting stressful. You know,
exams and such."
 

"Are you sure that's it?" Willow asked skeptically. She knew Tara was
practicing magics, could feel the power in the early morning hours when Tara
would finally come home and crawl into bed. She was scared, not sure what her
lover was getting into.
 

"I'm sure," Tara smiled. "It's almost over. Then things can go back to how
they were."
 

"They can never go back, Tara," Willow said softly, looking at their joined
hands. "I love you. You know that. You can tell me anything, and I'll always
be here for you. Is there something we should talk about?"
 

"No," Tara said. "We're good. Soon, we'll be better than good. I'm almost
done. You'll see. Things will be fine soon."
 

"All right," Willow smiled. "I'll trust you on this one."
 

"Good," Tara leaned over and kissed Willow softly. "I've missed this. Kissing
you. I love kissing you."
 

"I love kissing you too," Willow said, running her tongue over Tara's bottom
lip. "I'm missed this," she said with a wicked smile as she moved her hand
along Tara's upper thigh.
 

Tara moved her mouth along Willow's neck down to the collar of the redhead's
T-shirt. She teased the flesh with her tongue, moaning when she felt Willow's
hand drift up her thighs and brush against her curls. Tara moved her body,
bringing Willow down with her to the bed. The redhead giggled as the T-shirt
was pulled over her head. Tara took Willow's nipple into her mouth, tasting
her lover for the first time in nearly two weeks. She had been so busy trying
to hold up her end of the bargain with Spike that she had hardly seen Willow.
But, she had finally found something. She had researched it for a couple of
days, thinking that it was going to work. She was still hesitant about
removing the chip from Spike, but she didn't really have a choice. She was a
demon. He had lied to protect her. Because of him, she was now laying in bed
with Willow instead of dead from Buffy's sword. She owed him a lot more than
just removing the chip. And he had promised not to kill Willow. That was good
enough for her. She'd get the chip removed and then worry about dealing with
her demon. Tara was not one to renege on debts owed. Tomorrow, she'd try to
find Spike and tell him what she had found. Maybe by the weekend, this entire
ordeal would be behind her. She pushed those thoughts from her mind as she
concentrated on the feel of Willow's hands and mouth, simply enjoying being
with her lover.

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