ULTERIOR MOTIVES (11/?)
 

Buffy walked back to the magic store lost in thought. She had found Tara's
blanket easily. It appeared to be undisturbed up on the hill overlooking
Sunnydale. She had spent over an hour searching the area of signs of anything
that could give them an idea of what attacked Tara. She had found nothing.
Not even a broken branch that suggested someone had been hiding and watching
the girl. Of course, she had found a spell book that was laying on the
blanket along with candles that had long blown out. She didn't know anything
about magic, but she had glanced through the book and seen some spells that
didn't sound very nice. She knew that Willow was not going to handle that
news very well. It would appear that whatever had killed Tara had been the
effect of some spell she had cast. There hadn't even been any footprints in
the dirt around the area. Just Tara's and a larger pair of boots that had to
have been Spike's.
 

Buffy hadn't wanted to return to Willow without something, but it appeared
that there was just nothing to find. Everything she could see suggested that
Tara had come to the hill to perform a spell that got out of control,
bringing forth some nasty that had killed the witch before disappearing
again, and that Spike had stumbled upon her while hunting demons to fight. Of
course, there were still many questions in the slayer's mind. What kind of
spell would Tara have been doing? What magic had the blonde gotten herself
involved with? How could she summon something that would kill her and then
just disappear? Did it disappear or was it now loose in Sunnydale? If it was
loose, why did she not see any kind of prints or signs of it? Why was Spike
hunting up here? True, this was one of several parks in Sunnydale, but it was
the farthest one away from town and civilization. Not many demons would be
here unless they were hiding. Spike knew that, knew how isolated this area
was. Why choose to go that far from town to hunt demons that he knew probably
wouldn't be there in the first place? And when he does, he happens to stumble
across Tara's body. If he hadn't been here, they might not have found Tara
for days. She shook her head, knowing that she was being silly. She didn't
trust Spike, but he had the implant. He couldn't have killed Tara. Besides,
there wouldn't have really been a motive unless it was to get at her through
her friends. And Spike just wasn't that type, that fitting Angelus' MO more
than Spike. No, he had just gotten it in his head to go hunting and come
across Tara.
 

She needed to quit being so suspicious of him. With the implant, he was as
harmless as a declawed kitten. Even without it, she'd always managed to kick
his ass. No, she believed him. He had found Tara and reacted, bring the witch
to Willow. It was actually nice of him to care for once. The Spike she had
known before would have laughed and then walked away, not even calling to let
them know. He had changed though. The implant had softened him in a bit. So,
maybe she had been wrong about him having feelings for her. She still knew
that something was off, despite his words of protest. He had been trailing
after her for weeks, watching her, listening to her. Maybe he was trying to
spook her, or maybe he really did have some sort of fucked up crush. Whatever
it was, she was glad that it seemed to have stopped. Since her talk with him,
she had only felt him a few times, usually when the gang was together. She
had to wonder if maybe he wasn't just lonely, wanting to be a part of the
gang. It seemed weird to think of Spike being lonely, but she slowly to take
to that idea. He was always around helping, even when he wasn't called. She
knew that he had been with Drusilla since his turning, so this past year was
probably the first time he had been alone in over a hundred and twenty
something. She felt so stupid suddenly. Convincing herself that he must be in
love with her when all along he was just tired of being alone.
 

She frowned as she walked, wondering what she could do. True, Spike was her
enemy. Also true that she didn't trust him as far as she could throw him.
But, in the past, he had pulled through when needed. Usually in a self
preserving or self benefiting way, but he had stood against Angelus all those
years ago and helped with Adam when he could have easily left. She couldn't
really see being friends with him, but she could tolerate him. He wasn't so
bad once he let the act go and was actually himself. Xander hated him, but
not as much as Angel. Anya had always gotten on with him, both often having
conversations about their glory days. Riley, well, Riley she could deal with.
Giles had lived with Spike for months so she knew he had a high tolerance
level. Willow, well, the redhead had always been nice to Spike, Buffy
remembered. She had often come in on the two of them talking in a friendly
way. If anyone would be cool with her idea of being nicer to Spike, it would
be Willow. Buffy remembered the way Spike had been with her friend earlier
that night, how concerned he had appeared for Willow's loss. She frowned as a
nagging came to the back of her mind. A nagging that she pushed away as being
silly. With a determined look in her eyes, she walked onward. She'd start
being nicer to Spike, make him feel like part of the group as delicately as
she could without him realizing that she had figured out his secret. Somehow,
she knew that he would be angry if he knew she had guessed that he was lonely
and actually needed them in his own twisted way.
 

She brought her thoughts from Spike and her new project back to the matter at
hand. Tara was dead. Willow had lost her lover. Buffy ached for the pain and
loss her best friend must be experiencing. She had almost collapsed after
Angel had left her to move, and he was still alive. Willow had lost two loves
in one year, Oz and now Tara. True, Oz was still alive but he would not be
back. And to lose Tara in such a violent way, she shuddered to think about
it. She hoped she could help Willow through this. She knew that she tended to
be a bit self absorbed at times, but she always tried to be there when her
friends needed her. For a few months back last year, she had failed at being
a good friend. Not anymore. She had tried to make sure that Willow and Xander
both knew how much they meant to her.
 

Now Willow needed her. She intended to give the redhead whatever she needed,
whether it be a comforting hug, a shoulder to lean on, a bit of breathing
room or simply just silent support. Whatever it was, Willow would know that
she wasn't alone and that she had a best friend that would do anything for
her. Buffy glanced at the bag on her shoulder, the bag she had brought from
the hill. It was Tara's, holding the books and candles she had found. She
didn't really want Willow to have to deal with all of that now. It was tough
enough losing someone you loved, but to have the doubt in your mind that that
person may have caused their own death was worse.
 

She entered the magic shop, not surprised to see that the others had left. It
had taken her nearly two hours at least to search and make it back. Her hazel
eyes found Willow sitting on the lumpy sofa, her head resting on Spike's
chest. Buffy couldn't tell if Spike was sleeping or not, though his eyes were
closed. She put the bag down by the door, knowing that it could wait.
Willow's face was red and splotchy from the tears she had cried, and Buffy
knew she needed this rest. She hated to wake her but knew they needed to go
home. She reached out her hand to touch Willow's shoulder but was stopped
when Spike grabbed her wrist. Her startled eyes went to his face, seeing that
his eyes were still closed. She whimpered slightly when his grip tightened,
pulling her hand free.
 

"Let her be," he said softly, his hand falling back down to rest on Willow's
shoulder.
 

"She's staying the night with me," Buffy said, rubbing her wrist with a
frown. "I have to wake her to get her home."
 

"She's sleeping. Poor chit needs that," he said, his eyes opening as he
looked at the slayer. He almost smiled when he saw her rubbing her wrist,
hoping that a bruise would form.
 

"Yes, she does, but not here. She needs to sleep in a bed," Buffy whispered,
not wanting to wake the redhead.
 

"She's fine here," he said back, not wanting to let her go now that she was
with him.
 

"Spike, that couch is lumpy. It's almost dawn so you'll be leaving. I don't
want her sleeping here and waking up alone," Buffy said, deliberately trying
to explain without the condescending tone she usually used for the vampire.
 

Spike's eyes narrowed as he listened, wondering what game the slayer was
playing at. She would normally have barked an order out and expected him to
obey. He saw her eyes on Willow and could see the worry and concern in their
hazel depths. He sighed, knowing that he couldn't push, not yet. "I'll carry
her to your place."
 

"You will?" Buffy offered him a tentative smile. "I was going to try, but
figured I'd end up running across some nasties or that I'd drop her."
 

"I won't drop her," he promised, reluctantly moving her off his chest as he
stood. He gentle swung Willow into his arms, smiling as she snuggled against
him, her eyes opening slightly.
 

"Spike?" she asked, blinking a sleepy blink.
 

"Shh, luv. Go back to sleep. Just carrying you off to bed," he said softly.
 

"Night," she whispered with a small smile before she closed her eyes and
settled back against him.
 

"Spike," Buffy said as she gathered her and Willow's things.
 

"What?" he growled, pissed that she had disturbed his study of Willow.
 

Buffy opened the door and smiled, "Thanks."
 

Spike looked at her in surprise as she held the door for him, his eyes
narrowing as again tried to figure out what her game was. He looked down at
Willow as the girl sighed in her sleep and he smiled, deciding that Buffy's
game could wait until later. He had more important things to take care of at
the moment.

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