ULTERIOR MOTIVES (14/?)
 

Willow closed her eyes as she stood beside the river. She listened to the
soft sound of running water, listened to the wind blowing the leaves above
her head. She stood in silence for several minutes, just enjoying the
solitude of this moment. Finally, knowing that she had postponed it as long
as she could, she opened her eyes. She wasn't crying, but a lone tear slid
down her cheek. This had been one of her and Tara's favorite spots. They
would often sit by the river and practice spells or just simply enjoy being
with each other. She blushed faintly as she remembered one evening when they
had been carried away with their passion, making love under a full moon. It
was their special place.
 

Now, it would be Tara's final resting place. Willow held the urn close to her
as she studied the river. It had been four days since Tara's death. It had
taken some hacking to get Tara's remains released to her, but she knew that
Tara's family had no interest in their daughter. Besides, she had no way of
contacting them. She had been rather brave, if she did say so herself. She
had made the arrangements for Tara to be cremated, knowing from several
conversations with her lover that that was what she would have preferred.
Willow heard a noise behind her and turned her head slightly, smiling softly
at the blondes standing there watching her, one with a worried expression the
other with a sad look in his blue eyes.
 

Buffy and Spike. Her support system. Strange enough, both had been wonderful
over the last few days. She had been staying with Buffy and Joyce, not really
wanting to be home alone just yet. Spike had been over every night since
finding Tara's body, sitting with her or walking with her or pretty much
doing whatever she wanted to do. He had started going on patrols with Buffy,
seeming to realize that she was worried for her friend's safety more so now
that she had lost someone so close to her. It was rather comforting that he
seemed to understand her that well. Buffy had been very tolerant of the
vampire, letting him stay over because he seemed to care about Willow. If she
hadn't had them, Willow wasn't sure she would have made it through.
 

"Do you need anything, Willow?" Buffy asked softly, not sure if she should be
standing back where she was or if she should be beside Willow, helping her
best friend deal with the loss of her lover. She had no idea how to react.
 

"I almost hate to let her go," Willow said quietly. "I mean, I know she's
gone. It just seems so final when I empty this urn into the river. I guess I
just hate letting her go."
 

"Pet," Spike moved towards her. He stood behind her, his arm going around her
waist. He felt her lean against him, heard her soft sigh as she rested her
head against his chest.
 

Buffy followed Spike towards Willow. She stood beside her friend, her hazel
eyes looking at Willow and Spike. He was being so gentle with the redhead. It
still surprised her at how he had changed without any of them even realizing
it. He was wonderful with Willow. He seemed to know how to offer her the
comfort she needed without being a pest. She wished she knew how. She didn't
want to smother Willow, but she hated seeing her best friend so sad. It hurt
her to see Willow so upset and not be able to do anything to take away the
pain. All she could do was be there when Willow needed her.
 

Willow felt Spike's arm around her waist. She sighed, glad that he and Buffy
had insisted on coming with her. She didn't know if she could have made it
without just falling to the ground and crying. They gave her strength that
she so desperately needed. She moved forward towards the edge of the river.
Spike stayed with her, his hand resting on her stomach in a comforting grasp.
Willow reached out her left hand, feeling Buffy take it. She squeezed it as
she lifted the urn. It was heavier than she had remembered, her hand shaking
as she held it. She felt Spike's hand move over hers, holding her steady as
she turned the urn over, dumping Tara's ashes into the river.
 

When the last of the ashes had fallen into the river, Willow collapsed back
against Spike. She felt tears running silently down her cheeks as her hand
fell back, the urn slipping from her grasp and onto the ground. She closed
her eyes, feeling Buffy tighten her hold on her hand as they all stood in
silence, just listening to the river.

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