Willow sighed in contentment as she moved slightly. She tucked her feet
underneath her legs and closed her eyes, her head resting on Spike's chest.
His arm was on the bench behind her, his fingers playing with the end of her
hair. Buffy was out patrolling and she and Spike had just come back from a
movie. She still found it a bit hard to believe that William the Bloody had
just taken her to see some silly little romantic comedy and had only
complained through half the movie instead of the entire thing. He had
surprised her that evening, suggesting a movie. It had been almost cute the
way he had mentioned it, his eyes looking around without focusing on her
face. He had looked at her in surprise when she had accepted. She didn't
really understand why he was surprised. They were friends. Why shouldn't she
go to a movie with him? She and Buffy went to movies. Heck, he'd even been to
movies with both of them the last weeks. And then he had smiled at her and
her heart had stopped. He'd looked so happy from her simply saying yes. That
smile had done wonders in confusing her completely.
 

She had not enjoyed the movie. Could not even remember the stars much less
the plot. She had been too busy thinking about that smile and noticing his
closeness in the seat beside her. She wasn't supposed to be thinking about
Spike like that, not in an aware, attracted sort of way. Tara hadn't even
been dead a month and here she was having naughty day dreams about Spike. She
felt guilty. As if she hadn't mourned for Tara long enough. She also felt
aroused, looking at Spike with newly opened eyes. She had thought back over
the last months, long before Tara had died. She had begun to realize that
Spike might have feelings for her. She knew it was stupid to think anyone
like Spike would be attracted to her, might love her. Buffy had been
convinced that he had a crush on her. Now she was acting the same way as the
slayer. Believing things that weren't there. Yet, there was still a nagging
in her head that she wasn't crazy. That Spike cared about her.
 

Which brought her back to the guilt for thinking about someone so soon after
her lover had been killed. A part of her mind argued that she and Tara had
broken up before her lover had died. That the guilt she felt now was because
she had not been there to save the girl, to keep her alive. Another part
reminded her just how special her relationship with Tara had been. That she
wasn't ready to open herself up to another relationship and risk the same
pain and hurt that she had felt in the end. And still another part told her
that Tara would not want her to feel guilty or to blame herself or to put her
life on hold. That she might be giving up a chance at happiness with Spike.
And yet another part just told her she had too many voices in her head and
that she needed to see a doctor before she went crazy.
 

Willow sighed, her eyes opening as she looked at Buffy's front yard. It was
quiet tonight. They were sitting on the porch swing, a comfortable silence
surrounding them as they simply enjoyed the night. It was strange in a way to
her to think that Spike might be her happily ever after. Not even two years
before, he had been trying to kill her. No, she amended mentally, to turn
her. Now, he was being a fantastic friend and consoling her after Tara's
death. She knew, in her heart, that it was the implant. If he didn't have it
anymore, he'd have already left Sunnydale after killing them all. She
couldn't stop the stray thought from entering her mind. Would he still give
her a choice if the time came? He had mentioned to her once that he had never
planned on listening to her answer. He had been going to turn her in her room
that night. She had never admitted that a part of her wish he had been able
to. That was a part of her that she usually successfully ignored. Now, laying
here against him with his hand gently brushing her hair, she was able to
think of nothing else except being with him for eternity.
 

Spike couldn't keep the smile off of his face. He thought he had blown it
earlier when he had asked her to the movie. It had seemed too much like a
date, something he didn't think she was ready for yet. He could have been
knocked over when she had smiled shyly and said yes, the word feeling him
enough happiness to permanently rid Peaches of that blasted soul. One word
and he was a lovesick puppy. He would have been disgusted had it not been
Willow that caused the emotions. She was his red-haired Goddess. She was
going to be his eternal mate. He had noticed her silence at the movie, could
read her face like a book after spending a year studying it. She was lost in
her thoughts. He had caught her looking at him several times with a strange
expression, as if she was trying to figure something out. Now, sitting here
on the slayer's porch with her in his arms, it seemed like a dream. He hated
to move for fear of ruining it, of reminding himself that she was still in
love with that annoying little witch no matter how dead or buried the bitch
was, of reminding him that patience was a virtue and that for her he would
wait. For now, he was content to hold her close. The smile faded from his
face as he smelled someone familiar. Oh goodie, his lips twisted in a
grimace, the slayer was home.
 

next