ULTERIOR MOTIVES (9/?)
 

Willow listened to Buffy but didn't really hear anything the slayer was
saying. She had moved out the night before. Left Tara and moved back home.
She felt guilty in a way because it seemed like she had been sneaking behind
her lover's back, but, in another way, she was glad that there hadn't been a
big confrontation. Tara would have had to have been home for that. She
doubted the girl even realized she was gone. She had cried all night snuggled
back in her old bed, not able to fall asleep at all. She knew that she and
Tara had drifted apart. She didn't blame the other girl any more than she
blamed herself. She had been noticing the gap between start growing weeks
before. She didn't understand it, but there wasn't much she could do to
change it. So, she had been the strong one. The one that had broken their
bond and left. And she really didn't regret it.
 

True, she cared about Tara. Had even loved her at one time. Never the love
she read about in books. The passion and constant need to be with one
another. No, it had been safe, comforting. She had needed to feel loved and
Tara had given her that. She also had to accept part of the blame for their
relationship not working. She had to have done something to make Tara keep
secrets from her. They had always been so truthful with each other. Frowning,
she realized that she'd probably never know what had come between them. She
had left. There was no going back. She would like to still be friends with
Tara, but knew in her heart that that was the only possible future the two
shared together. Friends.
 

"Wills, you OK?" Buffy asked softly, having spent nearly five minutes just
watching her friend when she realized the redhead hadn't been listening.
 

"Yeah. Just sort of sad, you know?"
 

"Want to come over tonight?" Buffy asked, knowing Riley could make it a night
on his own. "We could get some ice cream and watch violent action movies."
 

Willow smiled, "Thanks for the offer, but I don't know. I think I might just
want to be alone."
 

"If you change your mind," Buffy's words were interrupted by the door
opening. She looked up, her eyes widening as her face lost all of its color.
"Oh my god...."
 

Willow looked up, shaking her head, "No..."
 

Spike looked at his redhead, frowning when he saw the sadness and disbelief
in her lovely green eyes. He looked at the body he was cradling close to him
and whispered, "I found her...she was already gone...."
 

"Where?" Buffy demanded, looking from Spike to the dead face of Tara.
 

"Out on the ridge overlooking town," he explained, moving to carefully lay
Tara's body on the floor. "She was in a circle of candles and such. Stumbled
on her and thought she was doing some spell. Then I saw her throat. I brought
her to you," he looked at Willow, giving her his best grief stricken look,
"couldn't leave her out there to come get you."
 

Willow stood up, going to kneel beside her lover. She ran her fingers over
Tara's face, tears falling silently down her cheeks as she felt the lifeless
skin. She felt a hand on her shoulder, heard Spike whisper that he had tried
but he'd been too late. That she had been gone. Willow closed her eyes,
turning her head away from Tara's body and finding it buried in fabric
covering a muscular chest. She began to cry openly, not believing that Tara
was dead.
 

"Shh, baby....it's going to be all right," Spike whispered, stroking her hair
as he held her. He could feel his shirt becoming wet from her tears but he
didn't care.
 

"Willow, I'm so sorry," Buffy said, knowing that Tara's death right after
Willow had left her was going to hit the redhead hard. Willow would blame
herself even if it obviously was not her fault. That's just the kind of
person that Willow was.
 

Willow moved her head, looking at Buffy and smiling sadly, "Would you go
there and see if you find anything? If she was doing spells..."
 

"I'll go look," Buffy said, knowing her friend's unspoken fear. Had Tara
somehow caused her death? She knew from Willow that the witch had been
messing with dark magics. The wound on her neck was savage and could have
been made by a vampire but it also could have been caused by any variety of
demon. "Will you be OK here until I get back?"
 

"She'll be fine, slayer," Spike said, hissing the last word. He held Willow
protectively against him, his eyes cold as they looked at Buffy.
 

"She'd better be," Buffy warned, not liking the idea of leaving Willow with
Spike. Not now, not after finding out that her lover had been killed. Willow
was a very emotional person and Spike would have no idea how to treat her.
Buffy considered staying but knew Willow wanted to be assured that Tara
hadn't somehow been responsible for her own death. She sighed, her hazel eyes
looking at Willow as she asked, "Will you be OK with him?"
 

Willow nodded, "I trust Spike. He wouldn't hurt me, even if he could."
 

"Glad you have such faith in a sadistic murdering vampire," Buffy muttered as
she grabbed her coat. She spoke louder as she said, "I'll be back as soon as
I can. And Willow, you're staying with me tonight. I don't want you being
alone."
 

"OK," Willow said softly, glad that she had a friend like Buffy. She looked
back at Tara, sniffling before she put her back against Spike's shirt. "I
can't look at her. Will you cover her up?"
 

He moved away from her, taking a sheet and putting it over the dead witch.
"She's covered."
 

"I can't believe she's dead," Willow said softly. "I hope it was fast. I hate
the idea that she was in pain."
 

"I'm sure it was quick and painless," Spike said, moving her back into his
arms as he smiled above her head. Well, not too painless.
 

"Thank you," Willow said quietly, "for bringing her here and not leaving her
out there. It means a lot."
 

"Anything for you, luv," he said sincerely, stroking her hair as he held her.
That had gone off better than expected, he decided as he simply stood there,
enjoying the feel of finally having her in his arms.

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