JUST ASK (1/1)
 

Willow paced around her room, her green eyes looking at the clock. Maybe he
wasn't coming. It was only midnight, but she had gotten used to him arriving
by eleven the past few days. He had started getting there earlier and
earlier. She sighed, running a hand through her short red hair. She was
overreacting. This was pathetic. She was going crazy because he was an hour
later than he had been the previous night. If this madness continued, she
didn't know what she was going to do. She and Dawn had spent nearly an hour
on the porch, just sitting and talking about various things. There had been
no more mention of Spike, but he had dominated her thoughts as always. She
couldn't get him out of her mind or her heart.
 

She loved him. She had realized that, accepted that, understood that. There
was nothing she could do to stop it even if she had wanted to. As it was, she
finally felt more at peace internally than she had since their strange affair
had begun. After she had left Dawn and come upstairs, she had sat in the
chair by her window, simply waiting for him. She had done a lot of thinking.
Ha, like that was something rare lately. All she seemed to have done lately
was think. Think and act without thinking. What was the purpose in thinking
if she didn't listen to her own thoughts? With Spike, thinking went out the
door. All she did was feel. He completely threw her off balance, knocked all
of her reservations out the window and she loved him more for it. She heard
Dawn call out a good night and listened as her best friend's little sister
shut her door. She smiled, thinking it rather amusing in a way that she'd
tried so hard to keep her and Spike's affair a secret and both Buffy and Dawn
had known all along.
 

She continued pacing, wondering if Spike really would quit coming to her. Had
she messed everything up by wanting to talk, by wanting to make it real
instead of a dream. Maybe he was just feeding. Maybe he didn't realize what
time it was. Buffy was still gone too. Out rather late for patrol. Willow
smiled, figuring her friend was sitting somewhere getting some private time.
Taking care of Dawn, trying to stay in school and dealing with slaying had
taken a lot out of Buffy. Willow couldn't fault her friend for enjoying some
privacy whenever she could. Willow moaned, falling back on her bed. She
looked at the ceiling, sighing as she decided that she needed to stop
torturing herself. Pacing and worrying would not bring him to her. It would
just make her crazy.
 

She sat up as she pulled her shirt over her head. She glanced down at her
lace bra, laughing softly as she realized that she had been dressing up for
Spike. Wearing black lace and silk panties along with a matching bra. She
felt rather silly now that it appeared he wouldn't even be there to see her
in them. She unfastened her jeans, pushing them down her hips and then
leaning back against her blanket and lifting her butt so she could get them
off. She kicked them to the floor, laying back on her bed wearing only her
bra and panties. Her eyes kept looking at her clock, scowling as each red
number flashed. She groaned again, turning her head to bury her face in her
blanket.
 

She loved Spike. Why had she done something so stupid like fall in love with
him? She had never even had a conversation with him. Not a real, in depth
conversation. She had listened to him talk about Drusilla that night he had
kidnapped her and Xander. There had been that night in her dorm when he had
almost turned her. Other than that, they never really spoke. How was it
possible to love someone that you didn't even know? He didn't want to know
what she felt though. He had proven that earlier when he had refused to talk.
If he'd just ask, she'd gladly tell him with every word that she had ever
learned just how much he meant to her, how the sight of him calmed her in
some weird way that she didn't understand, how the touch of his hands could
bring forward such intense emotions that they frightened her. But he didn't
ask.
 

She heard the door downstairs close, glancing to see that it was close to
one. Buffy must be back. Spike never made a sound when he snuck into the
house, always managing to appear almost as if by magic. Instead of getting up
to greet her friend, she continued to lay on her bed, studying the ceiling.
She sighed again, sitting up as she decided she had waited long enough. If he
came in now, fine. If not, well, she wasn't going to continue to sit there
and wait. She picked up her shirt and jeans, tossing them on a nearby chair.
She set her alarm, having promised Dawn that they would get breakfast in the
morning. She set it to radio and turned back towards her bed. She looked up
when she saw her door open. She froze, not saying a word as Spike came in and
closed the door softly, his blue eyes looking at her with an intensity that
she had never seen before. With a small smile she went to him, his arms going
around her as their lips met.
 

*********THE END********
 

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