Disclaimer: Joss owns them all
Distribution: Kiss or Kill, http://members.fortunecity.com/kissorkill Anyone that has permission, take. Otherwise, just ask.
Rating: R
Feedback means that you want more! Do you want more??? Let me know! If I get enough positive response, I might try to update it over the holiday weekend!
A/N: Okay...don't kill me please! I know I shouldn't start another new fic, but this idea has been haunting me for weeks, even in my sleep, so I had to start it! Forgive me? Think of it as a treat for the holidays!
A/N2: Set during the summer following Season 4. No Tara. This is complete fluff but I hope it turns out okay! Please let me know??? <nibbles on bottom lip nervously>
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~Part: 1~
Willow entered Giles' apartment, struggling to balance her book bag, laptop, and the mail she'd grabbed on her way out. She had moved back home two weeks before, following the end of her first year at school, and she had to admit that she was trying to adjust. She'd forgotten to retrieve her mail in three days, not at all surprised that she didn't have very many things waiting for her. She never got mail, her only friends in town and her relatives never writing. Her parents had called for their semi-annual chat two days after she'd moved home, letting her know they were in Athens for a conference and then planned to go to Rome for several months, but they wouldn't dare take a moment to send her a postcard or to even give her a second's thought. She wasn't bitter though, having accepted her parents lack of caring years ago, and she was very relieved that they wouldn't be home during the summer. She hadn't decided yet if she wanted to stay at the dorms during her next school term, knowing that Buffy was going to stay at home, and she planned to use the summer to decide if she wanted the peace and quiet of living alone or the constant noise from the dorms, the decision already pretty well made. She was used to loneliness and much preferred it over the dorms.
She managed to get her stuff to the table, a bit annoyed that no one had even bothered to look up and greet her much less help her. The books she had were for Giles' research and the laptop so she could search if needed but they didn't seem to care that she nearly dropped it all. She felt invisible sometimes, more so since Oz had left over nine months ago, loving her friends dearly but finding that they tended to be rather selfish a lot of the time. She took her pile of mail and sat on the sofa, deliberately kicking Xander as she passed him. He pulled his lips away from Anya's and smiled at her, making her feel a bit guilty for her thoughts.
"Hiya, Wills," Xander greeted the redhead as he stood and headed towards the kitchen.
"Hey," Willow smiled at her friends who had realized that she'd arrived, the smile fading slightly as she turned her head and found cold blue eyes staring at her. She gave Spike a tentative smile before looking away from the vampire. She hadn't expected to see him there, knowing that he usually only showed up when he had information to trade or he was really bored and wanted to get his kicks by picking on them. Since no one seemed preoccupied with research, she assumed he was there for the latter reason. Great. It just so happened that she seemed to be his favorite target, the blond seeming to delight in verbally sparring with her, knowing his words wounded her far more than physical threats.
Okay, to be completely honest, she had a bit of a crush on him, but that was just further proof that the Hellmouth must drive people crazy or that she was a masochist. Either way, his presence tended to make her pulse race, her mind unable to totally concentrate on anything except for him, and she'd be stressed and tense and trying her best to pretend that he wasn't the most sexy man she'd ever met and that she didn't have naughty dreams about him and that she didn't wonder what it would be like to kiss him and be loved by him. She pushed those thoughts from her mind, pretty good at the act after the last several months of pretending that he didn't affect her in any way, and began to sort through her mail. Most of it was junk mail, addressed to the resident, but there was one envelope with her name on it. Curiosity gleamed in her eyes as she looked at the envelope, wondering who had sent her something.
"Willow, do you want to patrol tonight?" Buffy asked as she finished her conversation with Riley. She knew her best friend had been feeling a little left out lately and was trying to include the redhead whenever possible, not wanting to see Willow so restless and unhappy. Okay, so it had taken her several months to realize that she was being a selfish and uncaring bitch, but she'd finally had the epiphany during their battle with Adam and was doing her best to make up for her wretched behavior.
"Hmm? You want to patrol with me? Really? Aren't you going with Riley?" Willow asked as she looked up from the envelope.
"I want to patrol with *you* tonight, bestest bud," Buffy smiled, seeing the redhead smile.
"Sure, that would be fun," Willow smiled, looking up as Xander handed her a soda.
"Thought you might be thirsty," Xander said as he handed the redhead a soda and tossed a bag of chips on the sofa before sitting down. He noticed the envelope in her hands and asked, "What's that?"
"I don't know," Willow shrugged, "I'm almost scared to open it. I never get mail, not regular mail at least. But it is addressed to me. It's probably more junk mail."
"Looking at it isn't gonna open it, Red," Spike drawled from the chair he had put in the corner of the room, knowing that it would have a perfect view of the sofa where the redhead usually sat. He listened as her heart beat raced at the sound of his voice, a smirk crossing his lips as he enjoyed the knowledge that his presence excited and scared her. It was fun, teasing the redhead, probably the most fun he had anymore second to fighting with demons, though the playing with little Red had potential to surpass the fighting.
"Just shut up, Spike," Buffy told the bleached blond pain in her ass, wondering again why they even tolerated him, especially considering he'd nearly betrayed them to Adam, only helping them at the end out of self-preservation.
"Sod off, Slutty," Spike snarled, glaring at the blonde bimbo that had interrupted his teasing of Willow.
"Giles! Spike told me to sod off! And I don't really know what it means, but I think it's mean and nasty so can I stake him?" Buffy called out eagerly, "Please? Can I?"
"There will be no staking," Giles called back, sighing as he entered the room, "Spike, quit telling Buffy to sod off. Buffy, don't provoke him."
"Hey, wait, why am I getting scolded? I didn't do anything," Buffy pouted, leaning against Riley as she frowned at her watcher.
Before Spike could gloat over the slayer getting in trouble, there was a groan from the redhead on the sofa. She had opened the envelope, her eyes reading over the words, groaning as they began to make sense. She looked up, a grimace crossing her pretty face as she said, "I can't believe this!"
~Part: 2~
"What's wrong?" Anya asked, not really caring all that much but assuming it was the expected response.
"This," Willow sighed, making a face as she glared at the letter in question.
"All righty," Xander said, "we need more than one word answers to understand, Wills."
"What is it?" Buffy asked with concern in her eyes, her bickering with Spike forgotten as she saw the look of disbelief in Willow's eyes.
"It's an invitation," Willow said the words as if it were the end of the world.
"And?" Riley prompted softly.
"To a reunion for Camp Zadiwooka," Willow shuddered slightly as she said the last two words, memories assaulting her mind, 'Don't pick Mouse she's not good enough to play, Mouse is just a waste of oxygen, no one will ever want you Geek Girl, you'll never be loved Mouse, brainy girls never get dates' voices that she hadn't thought about in over six years were suddenly fresh.
"Oh God," Xander frowned, knowing exactly what Willow had to be thinking.
"Camp Zadiwooka?" Buffy repeated slowly, curiosity in her hazel eyes. "What's that?"
"This horrible summer camp that my parents used to send me to for eight weeks every summer so that they could go on their trips and not have to pay for a baby sitter," Willow replied, her voice soft as she pushed aside the nasty voices, "I had to go there every summer from the time I was six until I was thirteen and they decided that they could save the money by just leaving me alone for the summer."
"Jesse called it Camp Sad," Xander remembered, "cause we were always sad to see Willow leave and she was always so sad when she came home."
"Camp wasn't that bad, it was just, there were these girls there that hated me," Willow recalled, able to pull up memories of their smirking faces after they'd played some particularly awful prank on her, "there were four of them. Nicole, Ashley, Monica, and Erica. They made Cordelia at the height of her bitchiness seem like a saint."
"Ugh," Buffy frowned, hating those four girls for whatever they had done to her best friend, even if it was years ago.
"They were rude little bitches," Xander spoke up, "Jesse and I went up to the camp to surprise Willow during the parents weekend the last year she was there. They were horrible! Always saying really mean things to Wills and trying to get us to leave her alone, as if we'd just forget our best friend because they happened to be pretty and had breasts."
"Jesse would have none of that," Willow said softly, remembering that weekend that Xander was talking about, a soft smile crossing her face as she thought about Jesse telling them all off and then taking her for a walk by the lake, making sure she knew that they were a bunch of stupid girls and that what they said didn't mean anything. She looked at the floor as she felt herself really missing Jesse at the moment, wishing her old friend was still alive and could just give her one of his good hugs and tell her that she was special so that she might be able to believe it.
"Yeah, Jesse was protective of our Wills," Xander smiled fondly, "he wasn't one to just sit back and let them be mean like that."
"Surprising since he later got that crush on Cordelia and she was rather like them," Willow said as she looked back at the invitation.
"You're not thinking about going, are you?" Buffy asked as she saw Willow reading the invitation.
"It's a reunion for every year of the camp but it's also a party for Ira and Ora, the owners of the camp. I really liked them and wouldn't mind seeing them again," Willow frowned, "I don't know."
"People do change," Anya pointed out, thinking herself a good example, "those girls are probably nothing at all like you remember. Children are cruel."
"Personally, I think that MANE were just a bunch of misery demons," Willow said, "doing everything possible to make me miserable for fun. And the worst part? They were right! The invitation is for me and a guest, but I don't even have anyone to take. They always said that I'd end up alone and unloved, that I'd never do anything with my life, and I hate to go and prove them right, even if they have changed!"
"Mane?" Riley asked, trying his best to follow the conversation.
"That's what they called themselves. Monica, Ashley, Nicole, and Erica. It was their cute little name," Willow rolled her eyes, frowning as she thought of them.
"You're not unloved," Buffy protested, having planned to speak before Riley had interrupted her with his not very important question, "we all love you, Willow. And, girl, you've saved the world several times! That sort of proves them wrong about you not accomplishing anything! If not for your help, they wouldn't even be alive!"
"Good point," Willow smiled softly, knowing her friend was trying to make her feel better, even if it wasn't really working. "Um, do you mind if I skip out on the patrol tonight? I feel kind of like going home."
"Wills, don't let the memories get to you," Xander said quietly, his hand moving to rub his best friend's back as he smiled, "Buffy's right. You are very loved, by all of us. If you want to go to that reunion party, go and prove them how wrong they were. You're beautiful and smart and a pretty powerful witch. If they got too mean, you could always turn them into snakes or something."
"Love you, Xan," Willow whispered as she kissed his cheek, looking at Anya as she said, "Platonic kiss! Don't be upset."
"I'm not upset. I know that Xander loves me and that you do not feel that way for him," Anya smiled slightly.
"I'll walk you home," Buffy volunteered as she began to stand, wishing there was some way she could make whatever those girls had told Willow go away and assure the redhead that she was loved and important.
"I'll walk the chit home," Spike said as he stood, shrugging as he added, "I've got to go get some blood and her street is on my way."
"I can walk her home," Buffy protested, not trusting Spike completely and especially not around her best friend. She'd seen the looks he gave the redhead when she wasn't looking, would have thought he might have a crush if he wasn't always so mean to her friend, and didn't think Willow needed to deal with his verbal barbs at the moment.
"It's okay, Buffy. Spike is already headed that way," Willow spoke up, not at all wanting to have Spike escort her home but knowing that he'd at least not want to talk about her past like Buffy probably would. She could deal with Spike as long as he didn't ask her nosy questions.
"Fine, but tomorrow night, we patrol, okay?" Buffy said as she sat back down.
"Okay," Willow smiled as she stood and tossed the rest of her mail into the trash, keeping the reunion invitation because she wasn't yet sure if she was going to actually attend or not. She smiled at Giles, "I'm leaving these books here for you."
"Thank you, Willow," Giles said with an affectionate smile at the redhead that was like a daughter to him. He'd remained silent during the conversation, knowing there wasn't anything that could really be said. Willow was an adult and capable of making her own decisions, though he was angered at the four girls that had been so cruel to the redhead.
"I'll see you guys tomorrow," Willow smiled as she picked up her laptop and headed towards the door. She glanced at Spike shyly as he opened the door, walking out into the cool night air as he followed her.
~Part: 3~
They walked in silence until they were about a block from her house. Then, Spike finally spoke, "So, you gonna go to that reunion thing?"
"I don't know," Willow said, darting a quick glance at him to see if he was planning on teasing her about her fears of attending the reunion. He wasn't even looking at her, staring ahead of them, a half-smoked cigarette in his hand.
"Ya should go," Spike said, wondering if his plan would work. It was too good an opportunity to pass up, though, so he was going to take the risk.
"Yeah, show them that they were right. I've had one boyfriend and he screwed around on me and then tried to kill me," Willow sighed, "I go to UC Sunnydale and don't even know what my major is going to be. I haven't even ever had a job. They're right. I'm just nothing."
"Never thought you were a coward, Red," Spike said as he moved a step ahead of her, waiting, waiting, there it was.
"A coward?" Willow repeated slowly, her eyes flashing with annoyance, "What are you talking about?"
"You. All this poor me, the bitches were right, my life is worthless. Wah, fucking, wah," Spike said with a glance at her, his blue eyes amused, "Just be honest. You're too scared to go back and face them. If you do, you might have to admit that they were wrong and didn't know a bloody damn thing about you or your life and then you wouldn't have any reason to whine and mope about poor pitiful unloved you."
"Why, that's just stupid!" Willow protested, "I'd love to go back and show them that they were wrong! I'd love to see the looks on their perfect little faces if they saw me with a guy that loved me and was devoted to me! I'd love for them to have to eat their words and admit that my life was pretty damn good! I'm not scared to go, I just, it's complicated and why the hell am I discussing this with *you*?"
"So you'd like to show them they were wrong," Spike said thoughtfully, a smirk crossing his face as they neared her house. He looked at her, "Ya know, I'd be marvelous in that capacity."
"What?" Willow squeaked, knowing she must have misunderstood what they were talking about. He couldn't mean what she thought he meant. She moved past him, climbing the stairs of her porch and turning to face him, curiosity in her green eyes as she watched him approach her.
Spike followed her up the stairs, his lips twisting into a smile as he said, "I've got a proposition for you, Red."
"Proposition?" Willow stuttered, not liking the look in his eyes. Who was she kidding? She loved it, her body reacting instantly to the smug and arrogant gleam in those gorgeous blue eyes.
"Uh huh," Spike stalked towards her, his eyes pinning in her place. He took the laptop case from her shoulder, letting it drop to the porch, his eyes never leaving hers as he said, "A proposition that will benefit both of us."
"Spike, what are you doing?" Willow asked quietly, not protesting when he removed the laptop case from her shoulder, unable to look away from him. This is what it felt like to be hunted, she decided, his eyes narrowing as he moved closer. She stepped back, finding the front door behind her back, preventing her from moving any further. She was trapped between the house and a smug Spike, confusion and curiosity and, dare she admit it, lust burning in her green eyes.
"Making you a deal, luv," Spike replied, his eyes flashing with amusement as he said, "You want to go back to that camp with a devoted lover, show those harlots that you're desired and wanted. I can help you with that."
"You," Willow's eyes widened as he moved his arms on either side of her, leaning forward just slightly, his blue eyes catching hers as she tried to form a complete sentence, "you want to act like you're my boyfriend so I can get back at them?"
"It's a sacrifice, I know," Spike ran his tongue over his bottom lip, watching her eyes follow the movement, knowing that he had her, "but I think I can pull off the whole devoted and lusting boyfriend. Don't you?"
"Um, huh?" Willow's eyes moved away from his wet and full bottom lip to look into his eyes, having missed his words.
"Exactly," Spike leaned forward more, his face moving beside hers as he whispered in her ear, "I'll be your greatest revenge, Red. Those girls won't know what hit 'em. What do you say? Do wanna play?"
~Part: 4~
"What's in it for you," Willow managed to ask, feeling as if her entire body was on fire, wondering what Spike was up to, knowing that he would never make such an offer without a very big reward. This was stupid to even be considering his offer, but she couldn't stop thinking about pretending that they were a couple and the casual touches that such a charade would include.
"Besides the joy of playing mental games with four stupid humans?" Spike whispered sensually, closing his eyes as he inhaled the soft scent of Willow's arousal, hardening without even touching her. He moved his lips against her ear, briefly touching the warm flesh with his tongue before he abruptly pulled back, his eyes their normal cold and unemotional blue as he smirked at the flushed redhead, "Well, Red, you see I was thinking about you being all alone in this big old house and then I thought about that cold, draft crypt that I've been forced to stay in for the last few months and I got me an idea."
"You don't mean," Willow sputtered when she was able to pull her thoughts away from the feel of his tongue against her ear, eyes wide with surprise at his words.
"I'll go to that reunion with you and play the besotted lover, give the performance of the lifetime so you can have your little revenge, in exchange for a room and three bags of blood a day," Spike said with a smug smile.
"No way," Willow shook her head, knowing that there were far worse things than living with Spike, but unable to think of a single one at that moment. She laughed nervously, her arousal fading as she realized just how ridiculous the entire idea was, telling him exactly that, "This is a ridiculous idea."
"What? I'm not good enough for you?" he asked sharply, his eyes flashing with anger. He thought he had her, knowing that she was attracted to him, using that knowledge to manipulate her. He'd figured that going off and playing the loving boyfriend might be a cure for his boredom as well as giving him a chance to get a warm place to live. Besides, spending time with the redhead that intrigued him wouldn't be so bad, either.
"That's just it," Willow said, "you're *too* good for me. No one would ever believe that someone like you would ever want someone like me! They'd know it was just an act and that would be even more embarrassing than just going alone."
"Normally, your insecurities are cute and fun to play with," Spike muttered, "but, right now, they're just damn annoying!"
"It just wouldn't work," Willow sighed, knowing that there was no way anyone would believe that someone as gorgeous and sexy as Spike would even look at her twice, much less be a devoted lover.
"Do you trust me, pet?" Spike asked suddenly, his voice low and seductive again as he decided to use what he had to persuade her to agree to his plan.
"Yes," Willow replied honestly, seeing the slight flash of surprising in Spike's eyes before he smiled a smile that had her body heating up instantly. Geesh, he was pretty darn good at this acting thing, she decided.
"It *will* work," Spike said softly, leaning over until their foreheads were touching, his eyes moving over her face, "trust me."
"They'll know it's an act," Willow said quietly, feeling as if she was going to explode just from his presence and the acting he was doing to prove, rather successfully, that he could pull off the sexy boyfriend that couldn't keep his hands off her.
"It'll be fun, Willow," Spike said, using her real name as he moved his left hand along her side, finding this acting pretty damn enjoyable.
"You said my name," Willow whispered, loving the way it rolled off his tongue almost as if he were purring.
"Lovers tend to do that," he raised her chin and asked, "Are you in?"
"Yes," Willow agreed, fully aware that she was making a deal with a gorgeous blue-eyed devil but she wasn't able to say no, wanting nothing more than to feel him touching her and not even caring if it was just an act for her misguided revenge.
Spike he moved his lips over hers, touching them ever so briefly as he whispered, "Good answer."
Spike pulled back without kissing her, looking away from her for fear she'd see the surprise and desire in his eyes, his reaction to her unexpected. He knew he wanted the little witch, had since that night in her dorm when he'd smelled the fear and arousal mixing into an intoxicating aroma, but he was not at all expecting such an instant reaction, and they hadn't even kissed yet! He didn't remember his visit to Sunnydale where he'd kidnapped her. He'd been so pissed after four bottles of whiskey that he was lucky he'd even survived, but he hadn't forgotten their second meeting after he'd escaped the Initiative. No, that experience was firmly etched in his memories. It had been the beginning of his fascination with her, obsession such an overused word that he tended to avoid even thinking it in connection with his Red. Now, he had the perfect opportunity to explore his desire for her, all with her permission, plus he got the warm place to live. All in all, one of his better plans, if he did say so himself. He glanced at her, giving her a smug smile as he said, "I'm gonna run by the crypt and get my stuff. Have my room ready for me when I get back, 'kay, pet?"
"You're moving in tonight?" Willow said, her mind moving from their almost kiss to surprise that he was planning to move in now. She needed to call Buffy and explain things to her best friend, dreading that conversation. Maybe she'd forget to mention the part about Spike playing her lover at the reunion and just make an excuse that she was tired of living alone and felt sorry for him. Buffy might believe that, Willow rather embarrassed to admit the truth to her friend, that she was, in a way, paying a gorgeous guy to pretend to love her just to prove to her former enemies that she was lovable.
"Of course," he said simply, "I'll be back soon, roomie. Have a cup of hot chocolate waiting, will ya? Kind of nippy out tonight. I like marshmallows."
"Anything else?" she asked somewhat rudely, doubts flooding her mind as she began to wonder if revenge was really worth putting up with Spike and his stupid demands.
"I'll let ya know, luv," Spike smirked as he turned and moved off the porch, a triumphant gleam in his eyes and a victorious smile on his handsome face.
"He'll let me know?" Willow mimicked, sticking her tongue out at his back before she sighed, picking up her laptop and entering her house, moving to sit on the sofa as she ran a hand over her face. She sighed again, asking the empty room, "What the hell have I done?"
~Part: 5~
Willow wasn't quite sure what had happened. She was usually very bright, priding herself on her intelligence and quick thinking even in the most dire of circumstances. During the last hour, though, her logic and brains seemed to have been put on pause and they were only just now being put into play again. She wasn't very surprised, not able to really concentrate or think whenever she was around Spike. His presence seemed to affect her mental abilities and turn her into a drooling moron. She was lucky if she was able to form complete sentences around him without blushing and stuttering like some kid with a crush, which was sort of an accurate description, and she was only just now able to come out of the lust induced fog that surrounded her whenever he was around to realize what had happened.
She had agreed to let Spike move into her house in exchange for him playing her lover during the reunion. It sounded like something out of one of those old black and white comedies that would play on the movie classics channel at random hours. Considering the way her body still felt after his 'acting', well, maybe it was like a very, very R rated modern version of those old movies that always made her laugh. She shook her head at her thoughts, knowing she needed to figure out what to do. The entire idea was just preposterous. First, revenge wasn't really her thing. True, she'd love to go to that reunion and show Ashley and her friends that she was worth something and was very lovable, but having a fake boyfriend doing the loving was just sort of sad, in a way. It made her feel even more pathetic, having to bribe Spike with lodging to make herself feel worthy of attending the reunion. She was worthy, damn it, having helped save the world several times as well as having friends that she'd give her life for and vice versa. She wasn't the same shy little mouse that had gone to camp!
Second, who was really going to believe that Spike, gorgeous hunk of undead flesh, most beautiful man she'd ever seen, smart and sexy and pretty much walking sex, was in love with her, awkward and insecure, smart but not sexy, rambling and completely not in his league at all. It would be even more humiliating trying to pretend that she was actually good enough for Spike than going to the reunion alone. They'd all know, probably whisper about how sad it was that she had to pay someone to pretend to love her, and then they'd try to take him away from her like they'd done with Jesse and Xander. Her eyes narrowed at the thought of them getting their manicured nails into her vampire, widening as she realized that she'd referred to Spike as hers, even mentally. As he would say, not bloody likely. She knew why he'd proposed his ridiculous scheme, seeing an easy way to use her insecurities and attraction to him, because she wasn't even stupid enough around him to think he didn't see it, probably found it amusing, stupid sexy vampire, where was she? Oh, yeah, he'd used her insecurities and affection for him to his advantage, wanting somewhere warm to live and, hey, three bags of blood a day!
Third, she wasn't entirely sure she could act nearly as well as he apparently could. He'd been all sexy and seductive, using his voice and eyes, God those gorgeous eyes, and his entire body to turn her on and convince her that he could play the part of lover. She, on the other hand, had been a stuttering mess, possibly even drooling at his feet when he'd brushed his lips against her ear, her heartbeat racing even now as she remembered all too well what he felt like so close to her, the scent of tobacco and leather and vanilla and spice assaulting her senses as his glorious lips had rested just above hers. The self control that she also prided herself on forgotten as she'd realized that she would have let him do anything to her at that moment just for a kiss. How was she supposed to play the part of confident lover when she melted into a pile of quivering need whenever he looked at her a certain way or when he'd smile a certain way or when he'd say her name, on those rarest of occassions, practically purring out the entire name and sending shockwaves of arousal throughout her. That was her reaction after just hearing her name! She could only imagine how humiliated she'd be if he was playing the devoted lover and touching her and caressing her and whispering romantic words in her ear and….
Willow cleared her throat, her face slightly flushed as she took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Okay, so yeah, her attraction to him could be a major problem. She knew that he had to realize how she felt around him, catching a knowing gleam in his eyes at various times during research or patrol, those beautiful lips twisted into a smirk that did funny things to her tummy, and she figured he found it amusing. How was she supposed to survive living with him? Sharing a bathroom with him? That didn't even include the act for the reunion, having to smile and pretend that she didn't want to push him to the ground and ride him into exhaustion until he was hoarse from screaming out her name, his claiming bite on her shoulder, his blue eyes looking at her with lust and love. Okay, she'd said it. She wanted him to love her. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
Willow knew that him loving her was a fairy tale dream, one of those sweet dreams you have at night with flowers and romance and swooning, the ones that never happened in real life. When she'd first started to get her crush, for want of a better word, it had been purely sexual. He was gorgeous and sexy and completely unlike anyone she'd ever met. He'd come into her dorm room and smiled that smile, pulling her out of her suicidal thoughts concerning Oz's unfaithfulness and departure, making her feel alive for the first time since Oz had cheated on her. When he'd looked at her, those blue eyes sweeping over her, and he'd asked if she wanted to come back, like him, she'd felt wanted for the first time, well, since before Oz had cheated on her. She'd never admit that, while he was threatening to kill her, she was aroused and turned on so much that it had been difficult to even make the expected protests. The feel of his hard body against hers as he'd pushed her back on the bed, well, she was thankful that he hadn't noticed her spreading her legs to accommodate him or the way she'd moved her head so he'd have better access to her neck or the way she'd pushed against him to make more contact, needing to feel, wanting to feel alive again.
When he'd been unable to bite her, she had to acknowledge that she was a bit disappointed. She'd assumed it was because she wasn't good enough to bite, figuring that it was just further evidence of how undesirable she was. She couldn't explain what she'd felt when he'd looked at her and smiled that crooked smile, none of the usual bravado and danger in it, telling her how bite worthy she was and remembering what she'd been wearing when they'd met the previous year. He'd remembered what she'd been wearing and his eyes had drifted to her neck when he'd spoken, giving her an idea that he remembered telling her how good she smelled and kissing her neck, but he told her later that he had only foggy memories of that night he'd kidnapped her. She'd been too scared that night to pay much attention to just how gorgeous he was. Lie, lie, lie. She'd noticed even then, envious of the devotion and love that were in his eyes when he spoke of Drusilla, realizing that Spike was not a typical vampire at all. That had only been confirmed when he'd received the implant and begun reluctantly helping them. There was just something about him that made her feel things she'd never felt, and now she was going to be sharing her house with him and pretending to be his lover.
A part of her didn't even care how embarrassing the entire ordeal would be, only thinking about him loving her, even if it was only an act and for a couple of days. It would be a couple of days that she'd never forget. She'd have the freedom to touch him and look at him and just enjoy being with him without worrying about him catching her looking and all that. Was it worth it, though, to risk making a huge fool out of herself at the reunion, knowing that there was no way that Ashley and those girls would ever believe Spike was her lover, no matter how good he was at the seductive act. Did she really care what they thought? She hadn't seen them in, what, six or seven years. People changed. There was a chance that they weren't anything at all like they had been. She had definitely changed and was hardly anything at all like what she'd been like before meeting Buffy. Besides, Ashley and Monica had been really bitchy but Nicole was usually pretty nice and Erica had never done anything rude or mean to her, both of them just standing by as Ashley and Monica had played their pranks and made their rude comments. Willow slowly smiled as she realized that she didn't feel the waves of panic and hurt that usually accompanied memories of camp. Instead, she felt relatively confident and secure, knowing that she had changed and could easily defend herself against verbal barbs. Hell, Cordelia had ended up becoming a friend over the years and the Queen of Sunnydale High had been about as malicious as MANE had been. She realized that she could go to that reunion and not even care what they thought or said about her life.
And, because of that knowledge, she realized that she was going to agree to Spike's proposal. Of course, it wasn't like she had much choice since she'd already agreed, but she'd had her doubts once she'd been able to think again and had been tempted to just cancel the entire thing and just let him stay with her anyway because she was a woman of her word and had promised. Now, though, she was kind of excited about playing the loving couple for a weekend. It would be fun to pretend that he felt something for her, and the physical contact would decidedly be on the top of her list of perks to the arrangement. With her newfound decision made, she stood up and moved to the stairs. She had to prepare the guest room for Spike before he returned, her green eyes thoughtful as she started thinking of the reunion and their act, wondering what to do about his vampire condition and inability to be out during the day as well as wondering if she could honestly withstand his seductive act without just melting into a puddle of drool, knowing that was something she needed to work on before the reunion. A smile crossed her face as she decided that she was going to forget about logic and doing the smart thing for once in her life and just enjoy the moment, having a feeling that this was going to be an unforgettable experience.
~Part: 6~
Willow got fresh sheets from the linen closet and made the bed, hoping Spike didn't mind blue cotton since that was all she had. Somehow, she imagined him as a silk kind of guy, sensual material moving over bare skin. Sighing, she pushed those naughty thoughts from her mind and finished making the bed. She secured the curtains to insure that no sunlight would disturb him in the morning, deciding that she would invest in some thicker, darker curtains. The guestroom faced the northeast and the sun could be a problem at times. It was better safe than sorry. She finished with the curtains and then gave the room a dusting. The redhead couldn't remember the last time the room had been aired out much less used. It was a bit musty smelling, Willow smiling slightly as she wondered what a musty was and why everyone associated it with such a bad, old smell. She walked across the hall to her room and grabbed a bottle of air spray, moving back to Spike's room and spraying a few times. She inhaled the scent of jasmine and smiled, much better.
With one final look around the room, she decided that it was ready for inhabiting. She put the air freshener back in her room and went to the bathroom. After she'd finished, she washed her hands and noticed the panties and bra hanging over the shower curtain. Her eyes widened as she turned and grabbed them, thankful that she'd noticed them before Spike had moved in. Suddenly, she realized that she'd be sharing a bathroom with him. Okay, so she'd known this, but this was the first time she'd honestly realized it. It wouldn't be that bad. She'd shared a bathroom with an entire floor of women at the dorm, Spike not nearly that awful. Besides, he'd only use it to shower and she had no idea what his routine was for such things, especially considering that he'd been living in a crypt without any kind of plumbing for months. She did know that he always smelled so good, the scent of Spike easy to remember as she stood in the bathroom. Shaking her head again, wondering if she would end up getting whiplash with all the head shaking to stop vivid fantasies of Spike, she surveyed the bathroom. She grabbed the box of monthly needed items and hid them in a cabinet, putting them behind the bottles of cleaner. Since she'd already grabbed her silky bra and undies, one of two sets that were sort of sexy and needed to be hand washed, she thought that her monthly stuff was the only semi-embarrassing thing that needed to be put out of sight.
Willow went back to her room and put away her undies, pulling her hair up and fastening it into a high ponytail before changing into an old T-shirt and boxers that she used as sleeping wear. She kept her bra on, thinking it might be just a little, okay a lot, weird to greet Spike's return without a bra. Not that he'd ever notice, she sighed, making a face as she thought about how stupid she was. She'd had a crush on Xander for several years, unrequited and sweet. She'd barely gotten over that when she'd been kidnapped by Spike and started to get a bit of a crush on him. She guessed that you'd classify erotic dreams and longing as a crush, knowing that said feelings had only intensified upon his return to Sunnydale. Again, the crush was unrequited. She set herself up, she decided, always wanting what she couldn't have, though she wouldn't really compare the overwhelming attraction and admiration that she felt for Spike to the childish feelings she'd had for Xander.
The redhead left her room and went back downstairs, going to the kitchen to make herself something to eat. She'd skipped lunch and hadn't had dinner, her tummy growling a bit as she realized she was hungry. She frowned as she looked in the nearly empty refridgerator, making a mental grocery list as she noticed how little food there was in her house. It wasn't really her fault. She'd only been back home for a few weeks, used to having meals on campus at the cafeteria or getting a bite when she was out with her friends on patrol, snacks being about the only thing they ever had in their dorm. She could just hear Giles in lecture mode, cautioning her on her lack of a full night's sleep every evening as well as reminding her how important the proper diet was and telling her that she should eat at least two good meals a day.
She'd heard the lecture several times from the man that was like a father to her, loving his parental interest, and feeling guilty for causing the lecture, but she hadn't figured out yet how he seemed to know when she'd gone a day or more without eating or when she'd only slept a couple hours so she wasn't able to cover up her behavior to avoid the lectures. Sleep wasn't really that important to her. She'd rarely sleep more than four hours a night, even before she'd met Buffy and spent her evenings patrolling or doing research and all that stuff. Food, well, she'd lived alone a majority of her life and didn't really have any kind of food routines or rituals set up. She could cook somewhat well, and did eat out a lot with her friends, but she'd often forget to eat if she was busy or just not remember that she hadn't eaten in a while.
As it was, she thought she'd eaten dinner the night before but had had nothing since. Her tummy reminded her that food was necessary for survival, as well as giving her the energy needed to deal with Spike when he returned to move in. She hoped he wasn't going to do anymore acting, not sure if she could handle pretending that he didn't affect her, deciding it might be better if he didn't return until nearly dawn and then he could just go to sleep. In the room across the hall from hers. She sighed, wondering if she'd ever get her lusty hormones under control when it came to Spike, sort of wishing that this living situation as well as their upcoming performance might give them a chance to become friends.
She'd like to have Spike as a friend, finding him one of the smartest and wittiest people she'd ever met. He was funny and sarcastic and intelligent and she loved having conversations and debates with him. During those times, she was able to forget her crush and just enjoy being semi-friendly with him. She'd like for them to become comfortable and friendly with each other on a more permanent basis, figuring that her crush would eventually fade if they were friends.
Willow couldn't find anything to eat, moving to the cabinets and finding a hot chocolate mix that she'd bought over Christmas when she'd stayed at home during the holidays, frowning as she wondered if hot chocolate had an expiration date. Oh well, Spike wanted hot chocolate so he couldn't complain if it was a bit old. She almost didn't make him the hot chocolate, not very appreciative of his demanding it upon his return and his lack of asking nicely or even saying please. But, she had to make some allowances because he was a demon, after all, and he'd come up with an idea that might very well surprise some former enemies and give her a little satisfaction, the redhead deciding not to call it revenge because that sounded kind of mean and she didn't want to do anything mean. She searched the cabinet, not finding any marshmallows, hoping that Spike could deal with just having the hot chocolate. She'd get a bag as well as some more mix when she got groceries. She'd go shopping tomorrow, she figured, needing a lot of items. She grabbed a notepad from the counter and began to make a list, planning on asking Spike if there was anything particular he wanted before she went shopping.
Finally, the tummy growling was too much. She stopped making her list, rolling her eyes when she was on the middle of the second page, glad that she had received the monthly check from her parents for the bills and stuff, not even able to imagine how much money she'd be spending. She couldn't believe she was out of things like milk and butter and bread, those being some of the necessary staples of life and items she'd bought two weeks at the store. She searched the cabinets thoroughly, finding an old box of crackers that were stale but at least edible as well as a jar of peanut butter. She made herself some peanut butter and crackers, putting extra peanut butter to cover the taste of the crackers, and got a bag of chips that she'd just bought. She poured Spike a mug of hot chocolate and put it in the microwave, not having any idea when he'd return but knowing she could heat it up quickly. She got herself a glass of water and went back into the living room, sitting down and turning on the television. She flipped the channels until she found a movie that she liked and hadn't seen in a while, glad that she'd only missed the first few minutes of The Maltese Falcon.
~Part: 7~
She'd just gotten into the movie when the front door opened and Spike sauntered inside, giving every impression of owning the world and everything in it, a smirk on his lips and his blue eyes amused. Willow frowned as she looked up, annoyed at having her enjoyment of the movie stopped as well as getting a little tired of him always being so darn amused and smirky when he was around her. She watched him put his bag at the base of the stairs, wondering if he'd let her put his things away. She'd had a discussion with Buffy and Xander months ago about Spike and his wardrobe, all of them curious if he had only one outfit or several items that were the same since he always seemed to wear the same thing. The clothes never smelled bad, so it was obvious they were washed, and if he did only have one outfit the clothes would have to be falling apart by now having been washed so often, but if he did have say seven black T-shirts, why would someone want to wear the same thing over and over?
"Honey, I'm home," Spike said with a slight smirk as he put his bag down, his eyes looking over the plate in her lap, narrowing as he saw what looked like a few crackers and chips, wondering if that was all she was having for dinner. He took in the ponytail, the red hair brushing against the back of her neck, the old T-shirt that had been washed so often that the words were completely unreadable, and then he saw the long pale legs that were crossed, displayed perfectly to his hungry eyes from the old shorts she was wearing.
Well, she hadn't gone and gotten herself all dressed up for him, that was for certain, but he found himself just as aroused by her old clothes as he would have been had she greeted him wearing a silk negligee that molded those soft curves and warm flesh. Fuck, fuck, fuck. Stop thinking 'bout those things, Spike m'boy, he told himself. Daft chit had no idea how alluring she was, sitting there with those gorgeous green eyes all wide and curious and her lips curved into a soft smile and that neck, God how his fangs itched to pierce the smooth column of her neck and suckle from her warm flesh as he pounded into her over and over until they both collapsed from exhaustion.
"I fixed up the room," Willow said as she stopped thinking about his clothes and gave him a slight smile, "clean sheets, and I fixed the curtains to prevent any sunlight episodes in the morning. It's the room on the left and the bathroom is next door to it. My parents' room is at the end of the hall and off limits. I don't ever go in there and, well, neither do they usually. My room is across the hall from yours and there is a study/library/office beside my room. My parents' used it when I was too young to leave alone for lengthy periods of time but I've taken it over the last few years. If you get bored and need anything to read, you can probably find something there."
"Sounds all right," he shrugged, turning away so she wouldn't see the happiness in his eyes at finally having somewhere warm to stay. He'd hated living at the crypt, almost reduced to asking the watcher to let him stay just he'd have electricity and plumbing again. Staying with Willow was much more enjoyable than asking the watcher for a favor, that idea alone making Spike shudder in disgust.
"I made you some hot chocolate, as you requested," Willow said, stressing the last word, "it's in the microwave. You might want to heat it for a few seconds. Oh, and there's a list of grocery items on the cabinet in the kitchen. If you want anything special, write it down and I'll pick it up tomorrow when I go shopping. Now, if that's everything, I'm going to finish my movie. I love Bogart and this is one of my favorites."
"I'll go shopping with ya," Spike decided, a bit annoyed at her quick dismissal of him. Was this the same redhead that he'd left an hour ago aroused and aching for his touch? You'd have thought he was, God forbid, Chubs or something by the friendly and polite attitude she was giving him.
"What?" that did get Willow's attention as she quit half watching the movie and stared at him.
"I'll go shopping with ya," Spike smirked, speaking each word slowly. This was more like it, he decided, having her complete attention on him. He liked surprising his redhead, loving the way her eyes would widen just so and she'd get all thoughtful and curious and, he ran his tongue across his bottom lip, relieved when he heard her suck in a breath. Yeah, she still wanted him. Foolish girl thought she could pretend she didn't want him. Well, he was having none of that. He enjoyed playing with her, liking having an affect on her, finding it one of his favorite past times since returning to Sunnydale.
"Sure," Willow mumbled, looking back at the television when he licked his lips and smirked, cursing herself for being so weak around him. Not affected, do not want him, do not want to push him against the floor and tear those clothes off him and feel his hard body against….Stop it! No, no, no, she scolded herself as she tried to concentrate on Humphrey Bogart.
"Good," Spike smiled as he went into the kitchen and heated up his hot chocolate, a bit annoyed that she didn't have the cute little marshmallows that he liked. He looked at the grocery list and saw that marshmallows were at the top of the list, his annoyance fading as he realized she'd been gonna buy him some because he'd mentioned liking them.
He got the heated hot chocolate and walked back into the living room, his blue eyes studying the redhead that was involved in watching the movie again. He took off his duster and laid it against a chair before moving to sit beside Willow. He casually brushed his knee against her leg, hearing her heartbeat increase from the brief touch, his lips twisting into a satisfied smile as he leaned back and began to watch the movie, sipping his hot chocolate and continuing to bump into her whenever it was possible without drawing suspicion, loving the way he affected her.
Yeah, you could say that he loved playing with Willow, a speculative gleam entering his eyes as he realized that he was now sharing a house with the object of his enjoyment as well as pretending soon that he was her lover, his smile becoming wicked as he imagined the variety of ways that he could take advantage of the situation, each one involving Willow naked and begging for more. He was playing a dangerous game, he knew, seducing her and playing with her at the same time he was feeling his own attraction and need and, as much as he loathed to admit it, affection for the redhead.
Dangerous, but definitely rewarding he decided as he moved his arm to rest against the back of the sofa, deliberately letting his fingers brush against the back of that glorious neck. He continued to watch the movie, playing with her whenever possible, watching her covertly as she struggled to pretend that she wasn't noticing his touches, playing her own game of denial it would appear. Oh well, let her play. It was always much more fun with two participants playing anyway. She should know, though, that this was one game that Spike definitely planned on winning.
~Part: 8~
Willow had never been so happy to see the words The End before in her life. She quickly moved off the sofa when the movie ended, relieved to no longer have Spike sitting so close that he couldn't move without bumping into her. She pushed rewind on her VCR and began to clean up, preparing to go upstairs and try to get some sleep. Tonight had been completely overwhelming, her mind still not able to comprehend that she had not only invited Spike to stay in her spare room, but that she was planning on attending the Zadiwooka Camp reunion with said blond vampire pretending to be her devoted lover.
"Time for bed, then, luv?" Spike asked, his voice slightly husky as he waited for the inevitable blush that would accompany his suggestive comment. He wasn't disappointed as he watched Willow's cheeks turn a lovely shade of pink, wondering how someone that had seen what she had seen, that had fought the evil and demons she had fought, could still blush over a rather innocent comment. True, he had added a little purr into his voice to make the simple words a bit indecent, and the gleam in his eyes would have given confirmation to his meaning had she dared look up from the table. As it was, she didn't look up, instead taking a few moments before replying to his comment.
"I'm going to bed, yes. It's rather late, after all, or early depending on how you look at it," Willow stammered, unable to keep the thought of going to bed with Spike out of her mind. Damn stupid vampire, she thought crossly as she gathered up the remains of her mediocre dinner and headed to the kitchen. She tossed her trash and cleaned out her glass, putting away the items she'd left out during her earlier trip to the kitchen. She turned and gasped when she found Spike standing right behind her. "Don't do that!"
"Don't do what, pet?" Spike asked as he arched a brow, listening her the sound of her rapid heartbeat, knowing that it wasn't just because he'd startled her. He deliberately moved closer, trapping her between him and the cabinet. Moving slowly, he reached past her, placing his hot chocolate mug in the sink, brushing his arm against her breasts, rewarded by the hardening of her nipples upon contact. Pulling back, he caught her eyes, running his tongue over his lips as he lowered his voice, "Did I scare ya?"
"You startled me," Willow said softly, "but you don't scare me, Spike."
"Then why's your heart racing so fast it may explode?" Spike asked innocently, his blue eyes flashing with amusement as his lips curved into a smirk that caused her to shudder slightly. So the chit liked being teased, he stored that information away for future use, also noting that her eyes were on his lips, rather liking the desire he saw in their green depths. This was the most fun he'd had in ages, he decided.
"I was startled," Willow explained, "so I guess that might be why my heart is racing, as you claim. Doesn't mean I'm scared."
"Could mean you were aroused," he smiled lazily, watching her eyes widen and her cheeks turn that delightful shade of pink. Giving her a thoughtful look, he asked, "Is that it, Red? Do I make your heart race and your knickers wet?"
"I'm not discussing my, um, my knickers with you," Willow muttered, hating him for not moving to let her go past. Why was he doing this? Why was he calling her on her attraction and looking so amused and smug about it all?
"Ah, pet, denial isn't gonna make it better. Your knickers are soaking, aren't they? So wet and tasty, clinging to your hot flesh. You're aching for me," Spike said arrogantly, "you've got an itch, and I'm just the vamp to scratch it."
"There will be no scratching of any kind," Willow shook her head, "Nope, not at all. No itching for this girl. And quit talking about my knickers!"
"Oh, yeah, I scare you, Red. Because you're afraid of what I make you feel, what I make you want, what I make you need," Spike smirked as he moved away from her, deciding he'd push enough for the evening, "when's this reunion?"
"Huh?" Willow looked at him blankly, wondering how any creature could be as sexy as the blond vampire in front of her, not understanding why he'd just called her on her desire and was now asking some silly question that had nothing to do with her panties or needs and then she realized that he'd been playing with her. Damn it, she'd been about ready to let him do anything he wanted to her as long as it meant he was touching her and he'd just been teasing. She frowned, her eyes flashing with anger at her stupidity and his playing, sharply replying, "It's in two weeks. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to bed."
"Two weeks," Spike slowly smiled as he grabbed his bag and followed her up the stairs, knowing that that was more than enough time for him to seduce the delectable redhead. If he had his way, the show they gave at her silly reunion would be completely authentic. He wanted Willow, more so now than before, and he planned to have her. Judging on her reactions to him this evening, it wouldn't take much to have her naked in his bed, begging him for more.
He frowned slightly as he realized that the opposite was also true. The more time he spent with her, even teasing her or simply watching a movie, well, he started to care about her. Caring moved the attraction up a level to an area that he was not at all sure he wanted to venture into, cursing himself for even daring think that he could potentially feel such emotions for this beautiful redhead. He wouldn't love her, he decided, knowing that it would be stupid to fall in love with the innocent witch, and he wasn't stupid. No, he'd concentrate on his lust and seduce her into his bed. Maybe then these other emotions he was starting to feel would go away. He couldn't fall in love, damn it. A determined look entered his blue eyes as he walked into his new room, tossing his bag on the floor as he sat down on the bed, his decision made. He wasn't going to be love's fool ever again, give his heart to someone only to have them laugh and inform him he wasn't worthy of them, that he didn't deserve to be loved. He laid back on the bed, his eyes narrowing as he promised him that, no matter what happened, he would not fall in love with Willow.
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