“I can’t find her, Giles. She wasn’t outside here, and she didn’t go to her parents’ house.” Buffy explained as she entered the Watcher’s apartment the next evening.
“I don’t know, Buffy. But you must accept the possibility that the guilt was too much for her. We may have been wrong in assuming that she would turn to us for help after she regained her soul. She may have left Sunnydale completely, or even –”
“No, she wouldn’t. Don’t even think that.”
“We have to consider the possibility. You saw how Angel was when we restored his soul, and he’d already dealt with that pain and guilt once. Besides, Willow’s soul was one of the purest we know. Having to deal with all she’s done to you and Xander… We can only look for so long.”
“I don’t like it any more than you do, Buff, but it has been a whole day. If she made it to shelter before dawn, then she could be anywhere by now. And if not, then… it was windy today. We may never find her.”
“You too, Xander? Fine. If you don’t want to help me, then don’t. But I *will* find her.”
“Buffy, we want to help Willow, too. That’s why we performed the spell. But there are other things that require our attention at the moment and we cannot…” Giles turned suddenly as the door opened to reveal Angel and Cordelia, matching worried expressions on their faces.
“Where’s Willow?” Angel asked, striding into the apartment past the stunned slayer.
“Angel?”
“Where is she?”
“We don’t exactly know. That’s what we’re trying to determine. We haven’t seen her since last night when –”
“You haven’t seen her all day? And you’re just now starting to look for her? She could be hurt, or dead, or… what?”
“Since when do you care so much about Willow?” Buffy eyed him skeptically.
“Since… it doesn’t matter. What matters is that we find her. She’s in danger. Cordelia had a vision. Didn’t you worry when she didn’t come by at all today? I know she doesn’t have to check in or anything, but…”
“Angel, Willow hasn’t ‘checked in’ with us in over three years, except to leave us a reminder that she’s still around and watching us.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t know you weren’t friends any more. I guess I haven’t kept in touch like I should have.”
“Willow’s a vampire.”
*****
“Pet?” Spike called out softly as he spotted Willow in one of the spare rooms of their lair. She sat at the head of the large bed, knees tucked under her chin, and arms wrapped tightly around her legs as she stared blankly at the wall above the doorway. Lost in thought like this, she looked very much like the innocent child she had been only a few short years ago, before a demon had taken over her body. When she didn’t answer, Spike turned sadly and started to leave, only to be stopped by her soft voice.
“Why, Spike?”
“Why what, pet?”
“Why everything. Why did they do this to me? Why did I do such horrible things to them? Why do I still want to kill them, even though I know it’s wrong? Why can’t they let me be happy? Why…” She trailed off, turning away from the blond vampire.
“Why…” Spike encouraged, crossing the distance between them and turning her chin so she faced him again.
“Why are you still here?”