Parts: 11 -20
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~Part: 11~
Spike dropped the woman he fed off as his childe wrapped her arms around his waist. He smiled, blood still covering his mouth and fangs as he shifted, facing her. She licked her lips as she saw him and he pulled her into a hungry kiss, sharing his victim's blood. She licked his face clean and pulled away when she felt him tense.
"Bugger," he said under his nonexistent breath.
She looked at him curiously, "What is it?"
"Slayer and her toys," he sneered. Her hands idly played with the buttons of his shirt, "Can we say hello sire?" she asked sweetly.
"No," he growled, he gripped her arms, "Go to the mansion, now!"
"But Spike," she complained, "I don't want to."
"Childe," he snarled, quickly losing control of his temper, "you *will* do as I say. If you *ever* want to see the outside of our room, go home now!"
She turned on her heel and stomped off in a huff. He smirked at her small tantrum.
~~~*~~~
Angel wandered the streets of Sunnydale, thinking over his discussion with the watcher. Giles was wrong, this was all on his head. After he got his soul back, he should have watched her more closely. Willow may not have known, but he knew how infatuated his grandchilde was, and he did nothing. His inaction led to her death and rebirth as a demon. And Willow never deserved to be damned.
His head snapped up when he heard a familiar voice, angrily muttering something as she stalked her way through town.
"Stupid Spike," he heard her grumble, "telling me to go home. I'm not a kid, he can't tell me what to do. Dumb slayer, I'm not scared of her. I finally get him to let me go out and then I have to go right back, he needs to make up his damn mind."
Angel couldn't help but be amused at her quiet rant, so she was mad at Spike, he wondered what he did.
"Willow." his soft voice broke through her annoyed thoughts. They were standing across the street from each other, neither moving at first. He hesitantly walked toward her, until he was right in front of her.
She just stared at him for awhile, before her shoulders relaxed.
"What Angel? Did you come here to lecture me, or stake me, because I'm really not in the mood for either." He gave a small laugh.
"No, I-I just heard you coming, and, well, I don't know. I just wanted to talk to you." She raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Really, I promise Will, I.we miss you." He shuffled his feet nervously. She resisted a laugh, she made him uncomfortable. "Can we talk?" She nodded and they sat at a nearby bench. He shifted so he was facing her.
"D-do you hate us?" he asked quietly. She smiled, her face revealing none of her emotions.
"Yes and no." He looked confused. "I don't feel much for any of you. Of course, I have a natural abhorrence of the slayer, but besides her, I'm not sure. The thought of the lot of you doesn't really bring out many feelings in me. If you're asking whether I want you dead, or deader in your case, it depends. If I had to kill, say, Xander or Cordelia, to protect myself or Spike, hell, even if I did it just for fun, I wouldn't shed a tear. I'm not her anymore, you know that better than anyone Angel. The soul is gone, and not coming back." She moved slightly closer to him, adjusting her position.
"Now Spike," she grinned at the thought of her sire, "he would have no problems killing any of you. And I'd help if he wanted, but truthfully, if I ever drain them all, or not, I'll survive. We're forever Angel. You, me, Spike. Death is inevitable, it's part of human life. It's not that I don't love the kill, but it's not everything to me. Spike loves it too, and would never admit it, but he understands that torture, all that, it gets stale pretty quick."
He sat back, she was no ordinary fledgling. She was so collected, so sure of herself, mature. Hell, Spike was over a hundred years her elder and was more immature than she.
"I'll give you a word of warning Angelus," she added, "Spike did not take kindly to the incident with Xander." She smirked as she rose, he stood quickly. "Might want to keep an eye on the boy," she went to leave as a hand stopped her.
Angel spun her so she faced him. His face looked grim.
"Willow, you and Spike, you should leave. I can't save you. To them, you're the enemy. Given enough time, one of them will be strong enough, emotionally, to stake you. I don't want to see that happen. With everything that we've been through, you're still family. I even sometimes worry about Spike. Believe it or not, I don't want him dust. But Buffy won't allow the two of you to stay here, threatening her friends, killing innocent people. Please, you have to go." She smiled, oddly pleased at his concern.
He closed his eyes, sadness filling him at the thought of staking either one of them. She may be a demon, but this Willow was still Willow, and he couldn't help but care for and worry about her. This girl always listened to him, she stood up to his demon, and she gave him his soul. He just wanted to save her as well.
Her hand caressed his cheek in a comforting gesture, seeing his pain. He leaned into her touch, but his eyes shot open when she placed a light, barely noticeable kiss on his lips. She smiled at his shocked but content expression.
"Thank you for thinking about me Angel," she said sincerely, "but, Spike can take care of me. I know Buffy won't let us kill them off and not try to stake us, I only hope that you stay out of the crossfire. There will be a war, Angel. No choice in that, but for whatever reason, I don't want to see you gone. Just stay out of the way." And she left him, on her way to the mansion.
~Part: 12~
Spike spied on the slayer as she and that Xapper prat made the rounds. He had no intention of doing anything right now. No, he had plans for the lot of them; it wouldn't do to just kill them now. He stayed far enough from them so that she couldn't sense him. He sent Willow home because he was worried that if they did fight, he wouldn't be able to protect her in the state she was in. She was better, but she had lost a lot of blood two days before and even though he regularly fed her his blood, he knew she wasn't good as new just yet. In a couple days she'd be just fine. Besides, he didn't mind playing nurse all that much.
"How are you really, Buff?" he overheard Xander ask.
The slayer shrugged, "I don't know, it doesn't feel real yet, you know? I mean, it's Wills. And now she's a vampire. Why would Spike turn her anyway? Not that Will isn't great, but he really seems to care about her, from what Angel told me, and I just wonder, like, when did that happen?"
"I know what you mean," his shoulders sagged and he looked like death warmed over. "I just, I can't kill her. I tried, two nights ago, and I couldn't do it. I know Giles can't, he was a father to her, and Buffy, you have to admit, you can't kill her either."
"I know Xan. I know," she replied sorrowfully.
Spike smiled in the darkness, satisfied that they were no immediate threat, he began on his way to the mansion.
He reached his destination in a matter of minutes. The second he entered, he knew she wasn't there. He went to their bedroom just in case, but there was no sign of Willow. He knew through their bond that she wasn't hurt, so he was a little pissed that she disobeyed his orders. She was supposed to go straight home, obviously she didn't listen. He threw himself into a reclining chair in the corner of their room. He made no attempt to turn on lights at all, he simply sat and waited, the longer she took, the angrier he was becoming.
Willow finally snuck into their room fifteen minutes later. Her talk with Angel had kept her out longer than she expected and she just prayed she was back before Spike. She knew that he would not take it well if she was late, he would look at it as an act of defiance. Truthfully she had no intention of disobeying him. She wasn't happy she was sent away, but she didn't want to make him mad. Unfortunately, Angel was in a chatty mood that night.
She found it quite embarrassing when she, a vampire, nearly jumped out of her skin when a lamp on her nightstand suddenly turned on. She tentatively looked up and flinched as the infuriated face of her sire came into view.
"Hi," she squeaked. She didn't fear much now that she was undead, but in this mood, Spike was extremely unnerving.
"Hello," he replied coolly. He remained seated, staring at her intently. "Where have you been, pet?"
"I just walked home, that's all. I didn't realize it took me so long." He slowly rose, stalking toward her.
"Is that so?" She nodded furiously. He stopped directly in front of her, if he had to breathe, she would have felt his breath on her face. He inhaled unnecessarily, noting her slight hint of fear, and he also caught a vaguely familiar scent.
"Yeah, I got a little tired.yeah, tired so I had to stop and rest on a bench for a bit. You know, me being injured and all. After that I started back home again." He chuckled at her obvious lie, but he was rapidly losing his anger at her. Obviously nothing horrible happened, but she would have to be punished for lying.
He grinned at her discomfort, and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. He froze when he finally recognized the scent on her, the taste on her lips. He growled and pushed her away, but still kept in her in his grip, his fingers digging into her arms.
"Who. Were. You. With?" he asked slowly, demanding an answer. He already knew but he wanted to know if she would lie to him again.
"Um, well," his grip tightened at her hesitation, "Angel stopped me, asked me to talk with him." she replied in a shaky voice.
"That all? Stop by for a friendly chat?"
"Yeah," she answered wearily, he was too calm. "He wanted to know if I hated them, he, um, h-he asked us to leave town, for our safety. He was worried." He said nothing, his face an unreadable mask.
"You're a fool luv," he sneered as he pushed her away. "Angel isn't worried about you. He's worried about himself. He feels guilty, that's all. You mean absolutely nothing to him. He thinks if you listen to him, if he *saves* you from me, then he'll have his redemption."
She placed a tentative hand on his arm, when he turned around to walk away. He spun around, his demon firmly in place. He snarled at her, his left hand shot out, wrapping around her throat. She stopped her struggles when he growled warningly.
"You kissed him!" he shouted, completely enraged. Her eyes widened, that's why he was so angry. "How could you!?! Bloody hell, it's Dru all over again! What the hell is it about the poof?! Tell me!" Bitter tears began to form in his eyes, he loved her so much and she had to kiss Angel.
"I don't want Angel," she whispered, "Please believe me Spike. It was nothing, a goodbye kiss. Just a peck, I swear Spike," she pleaded, "You have to believe me!"
He let go of her. She swayed, trying to regain her balance. The past weeks began to catch up with him. Dru's betrayal, killing her, turning Willow, her kissing Angel. He fell to his knees in front of her, tears coursing down his cheeks. She kneeled down, and reached for his face. When he didn't pull away, she began to wipe away his tears.
His arms went around her waist and he brought her against him.
"You can't do this to me love. I need you, more than you know," he begged.
She hushed him and kissed his eyelids. "I love you Spike, only you," she swore. "I don't want or love Angel, I never did. You're my sire, my everything. I love you so much, you have to know that!" When he remained silent, she continued, whispering reassuringly in his ear, "I'm not Drusilla, I need you."
He studied her eyes, looking for any sign of a lie. When he saw only love, he kissed her, pouring all his love, frustration, heartache, and pain into it. Minutes later, he pulled away. He rested his forehead against hers, "I love you baby." She smiled, tears in her eyes.
He pulled her to her feet with him. She hugged him to her and he held onto her as if his unlife depended on it. He led her to their bed, needing her desperately, and they stayed for the rest of the night and day.
~Part: 13~
Buffy, Xander, and Cordelia sat in silence as they took in what Giles had just told them. Angel was leaning against the counter in the library, intently watching the scene before him, waiting for their reaction. The librarian had informed the trio about how Spike and Willow became, how should we say, acquainted.
Cordelia was the least concerned, unsurprisingly. She and Willow had never been particularly close, she never would have expected her to confide in her. In fact, most of the time the cheerleader went out of her way to insult the girl, so she wasn't offended that she didn't mention her situation with Spike.
Buffy was frozen, how could Willow not tell her about him? He lived with her, became a, what, friend? Part of her was furious that she would lie, and part of her felt horrible. She was supposed to be her friend, and the slayer never questioned when Willow stopped going to the Bronze with them, when she ditched school, she never even bothered to call the redhead to ask if she was okay. Guilt washed over her.
Xander was just angry. He felt none of the guilt and self-loathing that Buffy felt. Willow was his best friend and she was in life- threatening danger, more than usual, and she didn't tell him anything! And she invited Spike into her home! How could she have been so stupid? And Angel, he always hated deadboy, but he knew about their, whatever it was, and he never said a word. He could have prevented this! If he told them, they could have kept her safe.
Angel felt the tension in the room. He could see that Cordelia was unconcerned, and Buffy was just sad. But Xander, he was fuming. He couldn't say that surprised him, but he expected the boy to be saddened by the fact that Willow didn't tell her best friend that she invited a killer into her home. He knew some of his anger was directed at him, and he couldn't blame him.
Xander took one last look around the room before shoving himself out of his chair, the noise of it sliding on the floor loud in the eerie quiet. He stormed out of the school, ignoring anyone's attempts to stop him.
Giles' eyes closed in melancholy, it was already starting. They were falling apart, and he wasn't sure things could ever be rectified.
Spike watched the woman sleeping beside him. After everything that happened the night before, he was finally beginning to relax. He had been frightened, and it takes a lot to scare him. But the thought of possibly losing her, to *him* especially, nearly killed him again. They spent hours together, entwined, it was difficult to tell where one ended and the other began. He only felt complete when she was with him, now he knew that he was most certainly the only one in her heart. But considering his past with Angel, he felt he had every reason to react the way he had. At first he wanted to hurt her, for hurting him. But she told him what happened, everything. He felt better knowing that the kiss was nothing more than a goodbye to an old friend. But he'd feel even better once he dealt with Angel himself.
He gently lifted her head off its resting place on his chest and laid her back down as he got out of their bed. It was an hour or so after sundown but she was exhausted and he knew she would be asleep for another couple of hours before hunger woke her. He had no intention of staying gone that long.
He slid on his jeans, grabbed his shirt and duster and got ready to leave. He reached the high school, watching from the stacks. The slayer and the cheerleader were sitting mutely, Angel was brooding in the corner, per usual, and the watcher paced the floor. Finally sick of the quiet, the watcher told the girls to go patrol. Angel told Giles to join them, safety in numbers and all that. He had sensed a presence in the library and he wanted them gone before he checked it out.
After the three humans left, Spike sauntered out of the stacks. Angel was on edge, waiting for the inevitable fight that usually came when he ran into his granchilde. The blow he was expecting never came. Spike hopped onto the table, waiting for Angel to realize he wasn't there to fight him, well, not yet anyway.
"Spike," he said guardedly.
"Peaches," he replied, saying nothing more.
Angel sighed, "What do you want Spike?"
"Your dust at my feet," he sneered, "but that can wait. I really want to know why you spent last night with my childe."
"God Spike, you make it sound sordid," he rolled his eyes. "I spoke with Willow, yes. I'm worried about her, she's family now," he added softly.
"Family!" he shouted incredulously. "Bloody hell Angelus, don't start that now! You don't give a damn about family! Dru and I, we were family and you left us behind!" He jumped off the table, but moved no further. "You're a right bastard, you know that? We needed you, soul or not, and you abandoned us, with Darla! Yeah, you had a soul, and it would have been hard, but we could have figured out something. So don't start this crap."
"Spike," he stopped, unsure how to continue. "Things were bad, yeah, but."
"Bad!" he interrupted, "Not only did you throw us away *sire*, when we came here, and Dru was still weak, you not only sold us out to the slayer, but tried to kill us yourself! Hell, you staked Darla, bitch that she was, for that girl!" he spat.
Angel laughed darkly, "You have no right to pass judgment on that Spike, or have you forgotten that just recently you staked Dru, the love of your unlife, your *sire*, for a mortal, a girl."
"Shut up!" he growled.
"I'm right and you know it. You're nothing but a hypocrite."
"What I did is not even close to what you did! You have been denying who you are Angel, you have since you got that bloody soul. You staked Darla so she couldn't tell your secret. And you may love that girl, but she's a bleedin' slayer you ponce! I may love Willow, I won't deny it, and I loved her when she was still human, but my god man! You're a vampire, soul or not, it's who you are! And your girl was born to kill our kind! Are you that much of a masochist?"
"Leave it alone boy!"
"Fine, Paingel, Slutty isn't the reason I came here. I just wanted to inform you that if you speak to Willow, touch her, hell, even think about her, I'll stake you good and proper. Family or not, and that's debatable, I don't want you near her. I'm not falling for the whole `I'm really worried about you' act. You are not worried about me, and you needn't worry about her. She's not your responsibility. She's mine, my childe, my lover, mine!"
"Afraid, William?" Spike bristled at his true name. "They always prefer me," he continued, letting his demon come out to play. "I mean, Dru certainly did. Why wouldn't Willow?"
"Because," replied an infuriated female voice, surprising both vampires, "I never wanted you Angel." Willow joined her sire, her arm threading through his, "Dru wanted you Angelus, because you broke her so badly that she had to depend on you. You made her need you, and then you left the nutcase with Spike the second you couldn't handle it anymore. A woman would have to be mentally unstable to want you, you're a head case if I've ever seen one." Spike snorted.
"What are you doing here luv?"
"Felt you leave, didn't like it," she answered and gave him a quick kiss before returning her attention to the stunned souled vampire before her.
"Don't presume to call Spike inferior, especially to you. You wonder why things haven't really worked out with you and Buffy. It's simple Angel, it has nothing to do with her being a slayer, and everything to do with the fact that you hate yourself. You're a demon, with a soul, but a demon nonetheless. Spike may love wholeheartedly, and to you that may seem weak, but he is more of a demon than you'll ever be. Because he knows who he is, accepts it, and is stronger for it. For that he will always be better than you."
With that said, she looked to Spike, his eyes shining with happiness and pride, and he led her out of the school and away from the startled vampire.
~Part: 14~
"That arrogant jackass!" Spike couldn't contain his brimming laughter at his mate's outburst. "To think I almost felt sorry for him, god, could his ego possibly be any bigger?!" Willow exclaimed.
She glared at her sire as he doubled over in amusement. "How can you find this funny?! I would think that you of all people would want the bastard to pay. I mean, talking like that, like he's so irresistible. Dru's obsession with him doesn't count. He had to drive the woman absolutely insane before she fell at his feet."
Spike was lounging comfortably in the sitting room in the mansion. His earlier fear and anger at Angel had dissipated when Willow started ranting about Angel's declaration that all women preferred him. At least he knew that she definitely had no feelings for the poofter now.
"Pet," Spike drawled as he stood, meandering toward her, "Relax, now you know one of the many reasons I can't stand the git. But I have to say, I think you surprised the hell out of him, luv." She grinned sheepishly.
She frowned as she thought back to their earlier confrontation with Angel. She had heard everything, not interfering sooner because she knew Spike had to get some things off his chest. But when Angel started degrading him, implying that no one would ever love Spike over himself, she couldn't listen anymore. Spike would never admit it, but Angel always knew how to hurt him, more than anyone else. The blonde was always insecure, how could she blame him, Drusilla made sure he knew he wasn't the one she wanted.
She was brought out of her dark thoughts when Spike wrapped his arms around her waist, burying his face in the crook of her neck. She purred lightly as he placed kisses along her neck and shoulder. "Spike." she breathed. He pulled back, taking possession of her lips in a fiery kiss as she led him to the bed.
Xander had wandered aimlessly since he left the library. He and Willow were best friends their entire lives. How could she not confide in him? He could have protected her, but she didn't trust him enough, or she trusted Spike more. He couldn't figure out how the vampire had gained her friendship, Willow was hospitable to a fault, worrying about everyone else before herself. Spike must have taken advantage of that. And she let him.
He finally took notice of the building he was standing in front of. The Crawford Street mansion loomed ahead. He knew that he would find Willow there, and possibly Spike. His brain screamed at him to run far away from this cursed home and never return. But curiosity burned in him. He wondered how she spent her time, if she was so different from the Willow he knew. His run-ins with her these past few days revealed little about the tiny vampire.
So he found himself prowling the property, looking for a possible way in or at least a window so he could see inside. He found a window, covered by a heavy curtain from the inside, on the far side of the building. He got closer, there was a small sliver of light coming from it, the drapery was open slightly. He leaned in, and immediately recoiled when he saw his former friend. He only had a partial view of what looked to be the master bedroom. He saw the shy girl he had known all his life straddling the demon that took her from them. She was writhing in obvious ecstasy, and the blonde underneath her was not idle, his hands gripped her hips, occasionally straying from their position to tease his mate.
Xander stumbled, trying to get that image out of his head. He felt like he couldn't get away fast enough. He was beginning to realize that the sweet girl he loved like a sister was truly lost to them. He reached his home, walking like he was on autopilot. He went to bed with a heavy heart.
Angel hadn't moved in over an hour. He was ashamed of himself. He let his demon get the better of him and he quite possibly lost the one chance he had to prove to Willow that he still cared for both of them. He and Spike had a tumultuous relationship ever since he first got his soul, and it was only made worse with Angelus' reappearance. He was in such a difficult position; he loved Buffy, and felt responsible for the safety of the watcher, Cordelia, and even Xander. But, even though they had their differences, he cared for Spike; he was family, as was Willow. She was always the one who had faith in him. She even gave him back his soul. Now, she was furious with him, because he said stupid things without thinking.
He was torn between a need to help Buffy and defend his grandchilde and his mate. Sometimes having a conscience sucked.
~Part: 15~
Xander was asleep for about two hours when he heard a knock at his front door. His parents were away on a small vacation and he was alone so he dragged himself out of bed. He swung the door open and looked blearily at his guest.
He straightened immediately as he stared at the little vampire that was standing in front of him.
"Hey Xan," Willow smiled at him, laughing lightly at the look of shock on his face. She gave him a small wave; "Mind if I come in for a bit?" she asked as she pushed past him and into his home.
He began to sputter as she sat down comfortably on his couch. "But, I didn't invite you!" he managed to finally reply. She smirked, "You never uninvited me." His face was unnaturally pale as he took a seat.
She sighed in boredom as he refused to say anything more.
"Since the cat's got your tongue Xan," she said with a roll of her eyes, "I'll start, and don't worry, I'm not here to kill you. Well," she added with a sly look, "not yet anyway. I merely wanted to know what you thought you were doing skulking outside my home tonight." His eyes widened when she said that.
"I.um, I," he continued to stutter. She gave him an annoyed looked.
"I am fast losing my patience Alexander."
"Well, I was, uh, walking around. I didn't go there on purpose, I just sorta realized where I was. I left once I figured out where I was." She snorted.
"Sure you did, right after you decided to peek through the windows," she leaned forward, smiling brightly, "Did you enjoy the view?" He blanched. She laughed. "It's not nice to spy Xander. You should be punished." He shook his head fervently. "So, what am I to do with you?"
A throaty chuckle broke their gaze. Willow smiled to herself as she turned to look at her sire. He gave her a reprimanding look, "Playing without me baby?" She walked to him, holding out her hand and invited him in. Xander jumped out of his chair when the blonde entered. Spike glanced at the frightened teen and smirked.
"So, my girl wanted to know why you paid us a visit. Plan on answering anytime soon?" The boy still couldn't form words. Willow stepped out of Spike's embrace and sauntered over to Xander. She allowed her hand to raise and caress the side of his face.
"It's ok Xan," she said in a soft voice, "I'm not here to scare you." He relaxed under her touch. She went to move closer but she stopped at a warning growl from Spike. She looked back at him curiously, but then focused again on Xander. "I can tell you don't want to play," she pouted, "that makes me sad. Well, when you feel like talking you know where to find me." She quickly kissed his cheek and flounced out of his house. Spike glared hatefully at the boy and then joined her.
Spike easily caught up to Willow after she left. He took her hand and roughly pulled her to a stop.
"What the hell was that?" he snarled. She was confused.
"What? Me visiting Xander, I was bored. Just wanted to put a little scare in him," she grinned. He did not look amused.
"And you went without me because." he questioned. She rolled her eyes.
"You were completely passed out, dead to the world," she smiled at her joke. "I planned to be back soon, I just felt like messing with him. It's no big deal."
"I don't want you going out without me. It's not safe. Besides, I don't like being left out."
"What, so you can just go and mess with Angel without telling me and that's totally okay, but I go to talk to Xander and you're mad?" she replied, anger filtering into her voice.
"Don't mouth off to me pet, you won't like the results. And don't compare the two. I can handle myself and Angel."
"And what," she interrupted, "I can't deal with Xander?! He couldn't hurt a fly!"
"Have you forgotten the crossbow incident so quickly, because I can assure you I have not."
"It was a lucky shot, that's all!" she yelled, not caring that they were arguing in the middle of the street.
"That's all!" he snarled, "A lucky shot is all he needs! You underestimate any of them and it will be the death of you." She didn't reply but continued to glare at him. He shook his head, an exasperated look crossing his face.
"I never thought of you as stupid luv, but I'm beginning to rethink that. You can't just go around provoking them! You have to have some sort of plan. And you need me to be there, I haven't survived all these years by luck. You continue like this and you'll be dust," he laughed miserably, "God, I hate dealing with fledglings." Her eyes narrowed at his statement. He added under his breath, "To think I actually staked Dru for *you*."
He turned and began to walk again towards the mansion, knowing she was probably upset at him for yelling at her but it was for her own good. He had no idea that she actually heard his last statement. He figured she was going to mope for a minute and then catch up to him. He was surprised, to say the least, when he reached Crawford Street and she was not with him, he couldn't even sense her, so she wasn't even in the area. He shrugged, and went inside. She was pouting but he knew she'd be home soon.
Willow hadn't moved from her spot in the street, even as he left. She felt like she was dying, again. He actually said that he couldn't believe he killed Dru for her. Was she that much of a disappointment? She knew he was right earlier, that she needed to stop being so impetuous, but she never expected him to say something like that.
She always felt, in her gut, that she would never be enough for him. Dru would always be the one in his heart, even after she died at his hands. He must have been so happy at finally having someone to himself, someone he never had to compete for. He probably deluded himself into thinking he loved her, she thought. She heard the malice and disgust in his voice, and her heart broke. A lone tear fell from her eye as she forced herself to move. She couldn't go back to the mansion, not now. Besides Spike probably wouldn't notice her missing.
When she finally reached her destination she took an unneeded breath and knocked on the door. The door opened and the surprised occupant took in the girl's red, puffy eyes and the despondent look on her face. The door opened wider in a silent invitation and she stepped inside. They sat in front of each other, not saying anything. After a couple minutes had passed she finally got up the nerve to speak. In a hollow voice she asked,
"Can I stay here tonight, Angel?"
~Part: 16~
"Can I stay here tonight, Angel?" Willow asked, her voice barely above a whisper. He didn't respond at first, mostly out of shock. Once his senses had returned he hurriedly agreed.
"Of course Will, I'd be glad to have you," the only acknowledgement that she heard him was her slight nod. Her eyes were vacant, she was staring at a spot on the wall in front of her.
"Willow," he began hesitantly. "What happened?" She still said nothing, but her head fell, so she was staring intently at her feet. He saw a stray tear land on her clasped hands. He couldn't help but be worried. He had never seen her so detached, so distant before. His heart broke for her. But he had the feeling that he would be getting no answers from her tonight.
He took her hand in his and pulled her up, he placed a comforting arm around her shoulder and led her to his bed. He laid her down and took off her shoes. He laid a blanket on her and left her to sleep, he knew she was tired.
He sat on his sofa, wondering what happened to the girl now. She had been through so much, especially in the past few weeks. It amazed him that after everything that had happened between them, she still came to him for help. He couldn't let her down.
Spike was pacing nervously, and a master vampire just didn't get nervous. She still wasn't back. There was only a half hour until dawn, he wanted to run outside and find her but he knew he'd never reach the mansion in time.
He didn't know what happened. He would have felt it if she were hurt, so he was comforted with the knowledge that she was alright. But still, there was no reason for her to be gone this long. Sure, they had an argument but it wasn't big. She was a little annoyed with him for telling her what to do but she had to know he was doing it for her own safety.
The minutes until sunrise flew by as he played back their conversation in his head, trying to think of anything he may have said that would upset her.
"Bloody hell!!" he shouted, furious at himself as he remembered his final statement. `To think I actually staked Dru for *you*.' He actually said that, and she must have heard him. How could he be so stupid?! His girl, although beautiful, always had a horrible self- esteem and was lacking in self-confidence, being a demon didn't completely change that. He just managed to tell her she wasn't worth it.
Now he knew why she was gone. He wanted nothing more than to run out the door and find her. But he had no idea where she could be and the sun had just come up. He knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. Not with her out there, alone and sad. He had to wait until sunset before he could look for her, and he knew these would be the longest hours of his life.
Angel found himself staring at the still form of the redhead in front of him. She was lying with her back to him, facing the wall. He could tell she wasn't asleep yet, her body was too tense. Fifteen minutes later, he finally saw her shoulders sag and her posture relax. Thinking she was resting, he sat back, studying her.
"What happened to you little one?" he mumbled. He nearly jumped when she replied,
"I wasn't good enough."
~Part: 17~
"Wills?" he asked reluctantly, he had to know what she meant. She wasn't good enough for what? "What are you talking about? Good enough for what?"
She sat up and faced him, eyes downcast.
"You know when you have this feeling, that no matter how hard you try, no matter what you do, you'll never be enough. You'll never make him happy," she paused, thinking about how to continue. "When Spike was helping me with your curse, he and I had long talks about Dru. His relationship with her, his hurt, you and Dru being together, everything. I listened to all of it, and I felt so bad for him. He loved her with all that he had, he still does. I never once thought that he really cared for me. I began to hope, but I knew he would never want just me. So when she tried to kill me, and he staked her, I was so amazed. He never blamed me, even though I did, for her death."
She smiled at the memory, "That night after he killed her, I brought him back to my house and I was so worried about him. He just wanted me to hold him. The next day we talked, about anything, nothing really important. He was trying to prove to me that he was fine, we had a nice day. That night I asked him if he was leaving, and he said yes. I thought I couldn't breathe, I was so sad. That's when he turned me, he said he wasn't leaving without me." Angel signaled her to go on.
"Things were good, not from your perspective I suppose, but whatever. I just get the feeling that he feels like he settled. He never really had Dru, he was always in your shadow. So he saw me, and maybe saw my naïve affection for him and wanted me just because I admired him, I loved him, and he didn't have to fight with someone for me. And I never paid attention to those thoughts because I thought I was simply paranoid. Then tonight," she sighed, her eyes clouding over with tears.
"Tonight, we got in a fight. He was worried about me, telling me I was being reckless, leaving the mansion without him, things like that. It wasn't a bad fight, but we were both annoyed with each other after that. Before he left he said something, sorta just proved to me that I was right."
"What did he say Willow?" he asked gently.
"He said.that he couldn't believe he staked Dru for me." She grew unnervingly silent after that. Angel moved from his spot on the floor and joined her on his bed, pulling her into his arms. He wanted to offer her comfort. He also felt the sudden need to hurt Spike. Willow may not be a little girl anymore, but she, like Spike, was still emotional, still cared for those she loved. And she loved Spike. And he loved Dru.
She, being stubborn, refused to cry. She was sick of being weak. Spike didn't want her, then fine. She'd give him what he wanted.
Willow was surprised how safe she felt in Angel's arms, it must be because they were family. They spent most of the day in silence, him holding her, telling her it was alright. About an hour before dusk, she convinced Angel that he needed to rest, since he had spent the entire night making her feel better. She let him lay on his bed and once she was sure he was asleep, she scribbled a quick note and left, using the sewers to make her way to the bus terminal until she could safely walk on the street.
She may be depressed, but she needed to prove to herself that she didn't need her sire to survive. Because he certainly didn't need her.
~Part: 18~
Angel had been in a deep sleep until the pounding started. His front door would have been decimated if he hadn't opened it when he did. Unfortunately he didn't move in time to miss the punch that was thrown at his face. He stumbled back as Spike pushed his way past him.
"Where is she?!" he growled, he had followed his childe's scent to Angel's apartment. He was terrified when he realized she ran to his grandsire for comfort. He couldn't lose her, not to him especially.
"Who are you talking about Spike?" Angel asked once his jaw stopped throbbing.
"Don't give me that you poof! Where is Willow?" His yellow eyes were scanning Angel's home, but he couldn't sense her here anymore. Angel too was surprised at the fact that she was obviously gone. He cursed when he saw a folded piece of paper by his bed with her handwriting on it. Angel grabbed the note. She didn't shed any details on her whereabouts, just thanked him for listening and told him goodbye.
"She's gone." Spike stomped toward him, seizing the note from his grasp. He shook his head in disbelief.
"I have to find her," he said, more to himself than Angel. He was almost through the door when a strong hand stopped him. He shifted and found himself face to face with Angel, who was not so happy.
"You're not going anywhere Spike, not yet. We have a few things to get straight."
Spike shoved him away, "You want to chat now?! She could be lost, or hurt, and you want to sit and talk?"
"Why did she leave in the first place?"
"I dunno Peaches, maybe you make for really boring company?" Angel angrily pushed him into a nearby chair.
"Now's not the time for jokes. Or do you not want to hear how your childe showed up at my door last night, in tears, asking for a place to stay?"
"She was crying?" he whispered.
"Yeah Spike, she was. How the hell could you say something so stupid?!"
"I-I didn't think she heard me, I didn't mean it."
"Oh, well now, that makes it all better," Angel replied sarcastically. "She may be a vampire now but she is still Willow. Those insecurities she had when she was human are still there. I would think you would know that better than anyone else."
"I know, I just.she had me scared. And you know me, when I get scared, I'm an arse. I said something without thinking."
"She thinks you settled for her, that you only want her because you couldn't have Dru. If you really care for her you should have never thrown Dru in her face."
"I do love her, more than I ever loved Dru," he looked at Angel imploringly. "I have to find her Angelus, I have to make it right."
Angel stood, as did Spike. "I'm probably going to regret this, but I believe you," he replied. "Her scent is almost gone, which means she most likely left before sunset. There's a sewer access a little ways away from here. She probably went that way."
The two vampires reluctantly worked together, following her scent, both needing to find her, one needing to protect her, the other needing to love her.
~~~*~~~
Willow glanced out the window of the run-down bus. Sunnydale desperately needed better public transportation. She sighed and looked at her ticket again. She couldn't go very far considering she could only travel at night, but she thought she would be able to make it to San Francisco without any problems.
She attempted to hold back tears as she thought about Spike, but he didn't need her, so she had to do this by herself. She laughed bitterly to herself, Spike gave her eternity, and now she had to spend it alone.
~Part: 19~
The sun was beginning to show on the horizon as Willow made her way to shelter. She didn't have a lot of money on her, just some credit cards her parents had given her the last time they left. She was in a hurry so she decided just to find a hotel room for the day. She entered her room, taking in the plain features and the outdated furniture. Scowling, she threw herself on the bed and fell asleep for the day. She just reached San Francisco and already she was lonely.
Angel and Spike had spent the night attempting to follow her trail. They followed her path through the sewers and eventually ended up on the street. With the passing of hours, her scent was more difficult to define. They found themselves at the Sunnydale bus station, and Spike, for the first time, was truly scared. If she left the town, he had no idea where she would have gone.
Angel noticed the tension in his grandchilde and placed his hand on his arm, squeezing lightly in a show of compassion.
"Don't worry Spike, we'll find her. She couldn't have gotten far." Spike nodded and they went inside. Spike allowed Angel to question the workers, knowing his impatience would get the better of him.
Spike looked up when he heard Angel's footsteps coming toward him.
"San Francisco, they say they saw a young redhead buying a ticket to San Francisco." Spike turned and sped to the door, Angel followed.
"Spike? Where are you going?" Spike kept walking as he answered.
"Need to go to San Francisco, and it's too late to get on a bus, sun will be up soon. Gotta get the Desoto." Angel understood.
"I'm coming with you," he replied. Spike paused, thinking, he really hated Angel but right now he could use all the help he could get.
"Alright, but we do this my way, got it?"
"Yeah, Spike. I got it." They reached the mansion about a half an hour before sunrise. Spike immediately headed for his car, the black paint on the windows allowing the occupants to not die a horrible, pain-filled death. Angel tried to make himself comfortable in the passenger seat.
"Just a warning Angelus," Spike said in a deadly voice, "Touch my stereo and I'll stake you myself."
~Part: 20~
She had ten minutes until she could leave the relative safety of her hotel room. She tried to sleep, she really had, but she couldn't relax. Spike always knew how to make her feel better, how to calm her down. But he wasn't here now, so Willow would just have to find another way.
She didn't want to leave him, but she thought for his sake, she should. He cared for her, that she knew, but there was no way she could compete with his feelings for Drusilla, even though she was dust. But he couldn't be happy with her, not truly. She was just Willow, he may have believed he loved her, but he obviously regretted being with her, leaving Dru for her.
So she decided to make it easy for him, show him that she wasn't what he needed or wanted. Her demon was screaming at her, telling her that it was in her nature to be selfish. Telling her to forget that leftover part of her conscience and stay with her sire. She was happy, that's all that should matter to her. But she loved Spike more than she liked to admit, and she needed him to be happy, and unfortunately, she didn't believe his happiness lay with her.
Her stomach began to growl, and she could feel within her very being, the setting of the sun. She threw on her leather jacket, and left her room, all she had were the clothes on her back, but she wasn't human any more, she would just take what she wanted. Right now, she was hungry.
She fed on a couple that made the mistake of taking a detour through a dark alley. After she was sated, she strolled slowly along Market Street, just taking in her surroundings. She felt like she had been walking for hours. She was trying to feel out the city, decide if she liked it enough to stay, even for a little while. She halted her steps when she thought she saw a familiar brunette among a crowd of people. She shook off her suspicion, knowing that Angel would not be anywhere near San Francisco.
She focused on her feet as she continued to walk, listening to the combined sounds of jazz music and loud talking in the streets. She felt a tingle, the feeling was unfamiliar but at the same time comforting. Her head shot up as she scanned the area. Instead of seeing Angel, as she suspected, she caught sight of a bleach blonde, clothed in a black leather duster, almost running toward her, a look of worry as well as fury on his face.
She looked behind her, for any possible escape, and saw Angel also heading right for her. She was stuck, she only hoped they would wait until they were in a more secluded area before yelling at her. All thoughts left her when a hand grasped her wrist in a firm grip. She was pulled forward so that she was facing her sire, his face was a mask of anger and hurt.
"Oh, crap."