Pairing: W/S
Rating: Pg-13
Distribution: Red’s Soulmates, my site Fatal Mistakes (www.angelfire.com/vamp/fatalmistakes); anyone want, just ask.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything, not even Spike, but a girl can wish.
Spoilers: Season 6, after Willow’s overdose on magic and Tara leaves her.
Summary: Willow feels lost and finds comfort from an unexpected source.
Author’s Notes: Spike and Buffy never hooked up, because just thinking about it gives me nightmares. He still has the chip of course.
Feedback: Yes, please. See, I’m asking nicely…
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Spike hovered outside the door to the Magic Box, peering inside the store through the front window. The shop had long since closed for the night, the only occupants being the slayer, whelp, the ex-demon, and lil’ bit, just what he was hoping for. Normally he would never voluntarily put himself in that position, one where he would actually go looking for the Scooby gang, but he had a reason, a purpose, and nothing would deter him. Snorting derisively at the lot inside, his hand went to the door. They all looked so relaxed, everything seemed so normal, like no one was missing from their little group. That pissed him off.
They had the nerve to call Willow their best friend, Xapper and Slutty did at least, but when she needed them, they were never there. Red was doing well, getting better everyday, but they didn’t know that. They never even bothered to see if she was still alive. When Willow left Buffy’s house unannounced, it was like she ceased to exist to her so called friends. If it were up to him, neither one of them would ever have to see the slayer and her gang again. But things weren’t that simple and he knew, even those she refused to tell him, she needed her friends. He just hoped they wouldn’t make things worse. Willow was finally getting back to being her old self; he was afraid all her progress would be erased with one visit from Buffy and Xander.
The door opened harshly, causing the foursome to look curiously toward the front of the shop. Anya saw that it was only Spike and return to her inventory. Dawn granted the blonde vampire a small smile, which to her surprise wasn’t reciprocated. Xander looked disgusted by his mere presence, sparing him a glare before turning the page in his book and looking away. Buffy groaned and rolled her eyes. She knew it would only be a matter of time until Spike showed up. He had been missing a lot of research meetings, not that anyone really cared other than Dawn.
“Well, don’t you lot look…cozy,” he sneered, not bothering to take a seat, instead leaning against the counter, arms crossed.
“What’s the matter now, Spike?” complained Buffy, glancing at him quickly and then returning her attention to the stake she was whittling. “Is there a reason for your bad mood this time or are you just being your usual surly self?”
“Buffy…” interrupted Dawn, giving her sister a pleading look. She really didn’t want to see her fight with Spike. Underneath it all he was a really nice guy, at least to her he was. The slayer sighed in annoyance but remained silent.
Cocking his head to the side, Spike surveyed the group dramatically. “One, two, three, four…” he considered with a forced look of wonder, “Seems like you’re missing someone.”
“That’s none of your business, Junior,” hissed Xander, abandoning his reading entirely.
“Hey now,” exclaimed the vampire, raising his hands in defense. “No need to get all huffy. I’m just curious, is all. If you ask me, Red was the best of the lot of you. I was thinking she may have gotten smart and cut you loose. ‘Bout time, I say.”
“Nobody gives a damn what you have to say,” informed Buffy with a smirk. “And Willow didn’t…cut us loose. She just…needed some time on her own,” stammered the blonde with a frown.
“Really?” he asked disbelievingly. “So, when’s the last time you actually spoke to the witch?”
“Why do you care?” questioned Xander. “You two aren’t friends. Why do you care how long it’s been since we’ve spoken to her? When’s the last time *you* actually spoke to her?”
“This afternoon,” he replied smoothly with an arrogant grin, “how ‘bout you?” When they all said nothing, he scowled. “Six weeks,” he snarled. “It’s been six bloody weeks since you’ve even seen the chit.”
They said nothing but had the decency to look ashamed of themselves. But that didn’t stop him; he was in no mood to take it easy on them.
“You call yourselves friends,” he sneered contemptuously, “but you left her alone. She was scared and desperate, she could have done anything, she could have even offed herself and none of you would have known. And don’t think I’m exaggerating, I saw the pain she was in. Death starts to look *real* appealing when you’re alone and in agony.”
“Shut up, Spike,” said Buffy, her reprimand half-hearted at best. He knew he was getting to them. They all couldn’t look him in the eye, even Anya’s gaze never strayed from her feet.
“She hurt Dawn,” he continued, “that was all that mattered to any of you. But did you think she was fine? Red would *never* hurt Bit, wouldn’t even dream it, but she wasn’t even Red anymore by then. She was lost and scared, and *you*…her *friends*…didn’t even notice. Bloody hell, by the time you realized she was in trouble, she was so far gone that she couldn’t even stop from shaking violently from all the magic coursing through her veins.”
Pushing himself away from the counter, he observed the sullen group with disgust. His hands went to the pockets of his duster, absently searching for his cigarettes as he thought of what he wanted to say.
“She threw up every night,” he told them softly, causing all of them to look to him suddenly. “Couldn’t keep a damn thing down. She was all skin and bones, bags under her eyes, shivering and shaking like a bloody leaf.” He walked slowly to the round table in the center of the floor, pulling out a chair in between Dawn and Anya, Xander and Buffy sitting across from him.
“Had nightmares too,” he said. It almost seemed as if he was talking to himself more than to them but they didn’t stop him. “Every single night she had nightmares. She’d wake up screaming and crying, begging for them to just stop. You don’t think she’s paying for her mistakes,” he growled, “She’s paying, even in sleep she’s tormented.”
“She actually slept last night, no screaming, no fevers,” he remembered with a small smile. “First time in awhile, but she did it. It’s taken a lot of time, but she’s back to being my Red again. Still a little frightened and shaky, but she’s like Willow again.”
Buffy looked up sharply as he spoke softly. *His* Red? She wondered if Spike even noticed the words he used. Since when did Spike consider Willow his? She forced herself to look into his glazed blue eyes as he continued to murmur to himself about Willow’s progress, amazed by what she found. There was the usual hate and contempt that clouded his features whenever he was in their presence, no surprise there, but under it all, she caught a flare of something more, something he tried to keep hidden. Love. It couldn’t have been more obvious if he had shouted the words out loud. She remembered the look in his eyes when he first showed up in Sunnydale, Drusilla at his side, and he had that look now. And he was thinking about her best friend.
“What do you want me to say?” she asked shamefully, breaking into his thoughts. “That we were wrong? That we’ve treated her horribly? We have, I know…” she muttered, her head dropping to her chest.
“I don’t want you to say a damn thing,” he replied with a sigh. “Words don’t mean a thing, especially to me. I’m not the one you all abandoned. I don’t want your sodding apologies. But she needs you,” he confided to them. “Don’t ask me why, but she misses you. So if you’re truly sorry, then show her.” He stood, pushing his chair away from him, its legs scraping loudly on the floor.
Fixing them all with a hard stare, he waited a beat, studying them closely. The slayer was upset, not mad, but ashamed. Dawn seemed like she was in shock, probably never thought about how badly her friend, a woman she considered a sister, was suffering. Anya didn’t look as disturbed as the others, but she always seemed to take most things in stride, but he could tell by the knot in her brow that she wasn’t happy with herself. And Xander, well, he was heartbroken. Spike felt no sympathy for the young man though. He alone was responsible for the guilt that he was flooded with now.
“If you really want to help her, then do it,” the bleach blonde advised. “But if you want to see her out of some sense of duty, out of pity, then don’t bother. She doesn’t need or want your pity. But she does need your support and understanding.” With that, he spun on his heel, striding to the exit.
“Oh, and just a word of warning,” he called out over his shoulder as he reached the door. “You hurt her again, and chip or no chip, you’re as good as dead.”
The door slammed violently behind him, shaking the frame of the door and window. No one inside the store moved. Dawn let out a shuddering breath, hastily wiping away a stray tear. Buffy saw her sister’s movements and took her free hand, gripping it tightly. Xander absently reached for Anya’s hand, which she wrapped in his own for support.
“He was right,” Xander said with a despairing laugh. “We should have been there, we should have been at her side.”
“We couldn’t have known it was that bad,” Buffy tried to reason, even though the words sounded hollow even to her own ears.
“Bullshit,” he countered sharply. Buffy frowned reproaching at him, looking to Dawn wit h a worried gaze. “She’s Willow, Buffy. I’ve known her since we were five. What’s the matter with me? How could I let her go through this alone? We treated her like an outcast, like she wasn’t worth our time or help. We’ve all done some stupid crap, Buffy. You ran away and left us to fend for ourselves on the Hellmouth. I hooked up with Faith, even while she was playing us against the mayor. But Willow, for the first time in her entire life, screwed up, and we turned our backs on her. She was always so together that we took her for granted. Now she needs us and we haven’t even called her to see if she was still alive.”
For the first time, Buffy had nothing to say to that. He was right, completely. She wasn’t even sure there was anything they could do to make things better with Willow, but they had to try.
Thinking back to Spike’s outburst, the slayer found herself grinning lightly. At least she now had an explanation for his recent disappearances. She was relieved to know that, while they may have failed Willow, Spike had been there to look after her. And in the meantime, it seemed he had fallen for her. Logically, Buffy knew she should be nervous about her friend spending so much time with a vampire, chip or not, but she knew how fiercely Spike protected those he loved. And she was sure that he loved their Wills. Now all they had to do was show the redhead that they loved her too.
~~~*~~~
She breathed in the refreshing night air, a cool crisp scent she had only recently began to appreciate filling her senses. This was the first time Willow had left her house on her own, finally feeling up to exploring Sunnydale at a leisurely pace by herself. Normally Spike would accompany her on such trips, but he was still out so she gave up on waiting for him and left on her own.
Her standard stake in her left back pocket and a bottle of holy water in the right, she strolled slowly down the familiar sidewalks. When she was younger, she relished sunlight, couldn’t get enough of it. On cloudy days, her spirits always dampened a bit. But ever since high school, since the arrival of Buffy, night had become her constant companion. At first, she merely tolerated the long nights, the darkness and what it brought with it. But slowly, the day became like a distant but fond memory. She no longer longed for the feel of the sunlight on her face. Instead, she found herself at home during the darkened hours. Even more so now that Spike had placed himself at her side, Willow found herself appreciating the beauty of the night.
She avoided the parks and cemeteries because she really wasn’t looking for trouble. All she wanted was to take a relaxing walk, take some time to think about her life without any distractions. Plus she was just plain tired of staying at home.
Looking up, she paused when she saw the name of the street she was about to turn on to. It would take her to the Magic Box. She really didn’t feel like going anywhere near that place. Turning abruptly, she headed down a side street, not even paying attention to the direction she was headed in.
Wrapping her arms around her middle to stave off the sudden cold, she wondered what Spike was up to now. He might be patrolling tonight. He did that every so often, if he didn’t they both knew Buffy would demand to know his whereabouts. Neither one of them were looking forward to the reactions of her friends if they found out the two were close.
They were friends, she and Spike. There was nothing sinister or mysterious going on between them. So there was no real reason for them to be worried about them spending time together. But they all hated Spike, with the exception of Dawn and maybe Anya, and they wouldn’t look at things objectively.
Willow found herself missing the arrogant blonde as she wandered around town. He had become her constant companion these past weeks. If he hadn’t been there to look after her, she feared she may have done something seriously regrettable, dangerous even. But she hadn’t been alone thanks to him. At first, he surprised her when he told her he was going to take care of her. But soon they had grown into a comfortable routine and she and Spike rarely did anything without the other.
She wondered what would happen once she was completely recovered. Would he leave her? He had practically moved in with her already. Would he return to his crypt, or maybe he would stay? She secretly hoped he wasn’t going to leave her. He seemed to like spending time with her and she would be lying if she said she didn’t care for him. In high school she had a massive crush on the blonde vampire, which she had slowly begun to ignore all those years ago, but spending so much time with him caused those repressed feelings return with a vengeance. That had her a little worried. He was her only friend right now and she feared she’d do or say something embarrassing or stupid and he would leave her too. So she was doing her best to keep her feelings to herself.
Shivering uncontrollably, green eyes darted from left to right , trying to find the mysterious cause to her sudden unease. Frowning when she saw nothing out of the ordinary. Her steps quickened as her hand slid to the back of her jeans and slipping her stake into her right hand, gripping it tightly. A tree branch snapped, the sound causing her to look behind her with a nervous gasp. There was no one there.
Shaking her head thinking she was hallucinating, Willow turned back the way she was headed and froze.
“No…” she whimpered, all her earlier confidence fading away at the sight of the man before her. That was if he was a man, in her opinion, he was one of the most evil, vile creatures she had ever seen.
“Strawberry,” he greeted affectionately, smiling widely at her trembling form. Taking a step forward, he grinned when she took an automatic step back.
“Leave me alone,” she pleaded softly, praying now that she *was* hallucinating. “Please Rack, please…”
“Don’t beg,” he frowned, “you’re better than that. You’re strong…powerful. I made you so powerful, didn’t I Strawberry?” He now stood directly in front of her, his hand reaching out to finger a strand of her red hair, sighing at the feel of the silky strands.
“I was beginning to think you had left,” he said with that infuriating grin. “I haven’t seen you in weeks. I’ve missed my girl.”
“I’m not your girl,” she replied defiantly, slapping away his hand and glaring at him.
“You’re my prodigy,” he declared with a dark chuckle. “I went too fast,” he amended, “I should have taken more time with you. But we can start over, you’ll be unstoppable when I’m through with you.”
His very presence was causing her to lose control. The magic pouring from him was tempting and it was taking all she had not to fry his ass with a smile. What made it worse was that he knew it, and he found it amusing. She settled on glaring at him as she tried to think of a way out of this.
“You look mad, sweetheart,” he cooed. “You’re thinking of all the ways you can hurt me, aren’t you? Try it, Strawberry, come on…let go…” he taunted, grinning as he saw her emerald eyes slowly bleeding into black.
“Come on honey,” he pressed, “hurt me,” he dared her, waiting for her to finally lose control. The anticipation was almost tangible.
“Gladly,” growled a new voice from behind the warlock. Rack spun sharply, taking an involuntary step back at the sight of the vampire, snarling loudly, in front of him. The warlock attempted to speak, but fell silent when the bleach blonde slammed his fist into his jaw.
Willow jumped at Spike’s pained scream as the heels of the blonde’s hands came to his head, trying to fight the pain that filled his head. Rack had wobbled but not gone down and Spike was well aware of that, forcing himself to ignore the massive migraine he was sporting. He gripped the brunette’s hair tightly in one hand, his other holding his jaw as he jerked sharply, hearing the satisfying sound of bones snapping.
The body fell with a thud, Spike falling beside it, head in hands, tears of pain coursing down his cheeks as he moaned and roared. He was on his knees, not having the strength to stand anymore as the chip sent fierce waves of pain through his entire body.
“Oh God,” Willow whispered, running to him and falling to her knees. She gathered Spike in her arms as best she could, encouraging him to rest his head on her shoulder as she did her best to soothe him, to will away the pain. “Why did you do that, Spike?” she murmured, hoping he would be alright.
“Wasn’t. Gonna. Let. Him. Touch. You…” he growled, his head throbbing mercilessly.
“Can you walk?” she asked weakly, not sure if she could carry him all the way home.
“Yeah,” he replied gruffly, letting her pull him up from the ground on shaky legs. He took a moment to steady himself, laying an arm around her shoulder for support. He looked at her, seeing the fear in her luminous eyes and resisting the urge to growl at the thought of that bastard hurting her. He had no idea that he fear was caused by the idea that he could have seriously injured or killed himself.
It took longer than usual to reach Willow’s empty house, which wasn’t really surprising. They tumbled through the front door, Willow laying him on the couch before she fumbled with the lamp on the end table, eventually able to turn it on and bathe the room with soft light. She left him alone only for a few minutes to warm up some blood for him. She hoped that would make him feel better. The pain had lessened, that was obvious, but he was still reeling from the effects of the chip. After pouring his meal into a mug, she sat on the couch close to his head, sitting him up a little more so he could drink.
Once he was finished, she placed the cup on the coffee table before shifting to a more comfortable position on the couch. Spike was lying across the cushions, his head propped up on the arm. Willow moved to lie beside him, her head next to his, her hand running through his shocking blonde hair as he purred.
“You could have gotten yourself killed,” she cried softly, tears filling her eyes at the thought of losing him.
“Gonna take more than that to stop the Big Bad,” he teased with a grimace. “Besides, you’re worth it, pet.” He turned his head to the side, reaching out a weak hand to wipe away her tears. “Don’t cry love,” he pleaded. “I’m fine, got a bit of a headache,” he admitted with a smirk, “but I’m not dust, Red.”
“You can’t die, Spike,” she whispered, her voice hoarse as she scooted closer to him, wrapping herself around his frame and sighing as his arms came around her. “You’re not supposed to leave me. You promised you wouldn’t leave me. I need you,” she rambled with a muffled sob.
“Shhh…” he quieted her with a kiss to her hair. “I’m not going to leave you, Red.” He pulled back to look her in the eye, hoping she could see the emotions he wasn’t able to express just yet. He caressed her cheek with a calloused hand, smiling at her reassuringly. He head inched closer and closer to hers, his eyes occasionally flickering from her own to her mouth and back. “I can’t leave you…” he confided as he gently pressed his lips to hers, her warmth sending a pleasant shudder through him.
Although his kiss was unexpected, it was very welcome and Willow surrendered to the sensations he was creating in her, sighing into his mouth, allowing him to deepen the kiss. His hand ran through her hair, his free arm slipping around her waist to pull her closer. After a moment, he reluctantly pulled away, grinning at her flushed face.
“W-Why did you do that?” she stammered, unable to even consider the idea that Spike could want her.
He shrugged, a mischievous twinkle in his blue eyes. “I need you,” he answered, repeating her very words to him, his sincerity amazing her.
“Oh.” He chuckled at her speechlessness. That was a rare occurrence indeed. He took the opportunity to kiss her once more, delighting in her instant response. A tentative knock sounded causing Spike to release his hold on his lips with a frustrated sigh. Feeling that familiar tensing of his demon, he had a good idea who was one the other side of the door.
“You better get that, love,” he told her, pushing her away slightly. She frowned and stood slowly. The redhead turned away from him but before she could take a step, Spike grabbed her hand and pulled her down to him one last time, kissing her gently. “I love you, pet,” he whispered, unable to look her in the eye, afraid she might laugh at him.
Instead, she smiled and tucked one finger under his chin, forcing him to look her in the eye. “I love you too,” she admitted, reveling in his brilliant smile. With one last chaste kiss, he let go of her hand and she walked timidly toward her front door.
The door opened with a creak and the witch stared nervously at the faces of her guests.
“Um, hey,” she greeted shyly, unsure of what to say. Buffy smiled uncertainly, giving the redhead a tiny wave. Dawn grinned apprehensively and Anya offered a cheerful smile. Lastly, her eyes fell to Xander. He looked profoundly sad and guilty and he granted her a tearful grin.
“Can—can we come in?” asked the slayer, shuffling her feet. Nodding her agreement, still too surprised to speak, she stepped aside to let the group inside. Buffy saw Spike laid out on the couch and noticed Willow’s nervous glance her way but the slayer said nothing. Spike wasn’t who they came to talk to.
Seeing that Buffy was going to leave Spike alone, Willow relaxed a little. They all stood around for a few tense moments, no one knowing what to say. Buffy took the lead, Xander stepping in behind her as the slayer stood before Willow, hesitating for a second before throwing herself at the redhead.
“I’m sorry, Wills,” she murmured, holding the witch tighter as Xander moved to hug them both, whispering the same words of apology to the redhead. “God, Wills, We’re all so sorry,” she cried, burying her face in Willow’s shoulder.
Spike watched as his redhead smiled happily at their words, tears making their way down her pretty face freely. He was glad they came to their senses. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, Willow needed a lot more than him, she needed her friends as well. They were her real family and their love could only help her heal. And he was immensely relieved they hadn’t screwed up their little reunion. He was very willing to follow through on his earlier threat, but right now he really didn’t fancy another head splitting migraine.
Willow blinked away her tears, still engulfed in the embrace of all her friends now that Dawn and even Anya had joined the group hug. Her glassy green eyes found Spike who was watching her with a small, pleased smile. And she knew then, everything would be okay.
The End.