Pairing: W/S
Rating: Pg-13
Distribution: Red’s Soulmates, my site Fatal Mistakes (www.angelfire.com/vamp/fatalmistakes); anyone want, just ask.
Disclaimer: I don’t own anything, not even Spike, but a girl can wish.
Spoilers: Season 7, after Willow’s overdose on magic and Tara leaves her.
Summary: Willow feels lost and finds comfort from an unexpected source.
Author’s Notes: Spike and Buffy never hooked up, because just thinking about it gives me nightmares. He still has the chip of course
Feedback: Yes, please. See, I’m asking nicely…
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Willow watched the scenery pass her by but made no move to admire nature’s beauty. Her eyes were tired, bloodshot from too many tears cried in the past few days. She wasn’t in Sunnydale anymore, instead she traveled the coast of California, green eyes watching the road ahead intently but her mind still on the events of six days previous. The day her world, the one she had worked so hard to mend, had crumbled, along with the entire town of Sunnydale, California.
~~~*~~~
The past year had started off well enough. Her friends were by her side once more, no trace of fear or anger in them at her past grievances. Spike was her rock, there for her when she had those bad days, the days when it seemed hard to continue on. Her battle with magic had been fought and she overcame her dependence on it, but she couldn’t abandon her practice. That was the cause of her occasional struggles. She trained, did small spells, learned control. But when she felt like it was becoming too much, Spike was there to ground her, to assure her she was safe, he wouldn’t let anything happen to her. That was his promise to her, he would be her protector, he was her savior. A bit ironic considering he was a vampire, but he didn’t care; it was all semantics anyway.
She always had this theory, ever since she had learned of the true evil in this world, that when you’re on cloud nine, you must be ready for the inevitable drop. Call her pessimistic, but it seemed a true enough statement. Normally she would hate to be wrong about anything, but in that instance, she prayed to a God she wasn’t sure existed that she was anything but right. Her prayers weren’t answered.
Strange things had started happening, which wasn’t exactly new on the hellmouth. Dawn was attacked by those spirits in the renovated high school, just another day at Sunnydale High. But then there were more disturbing events, not to mention the whole ‘From beneath you it devours’ thing. Very creepy. But still, they didn’t think anything of it, at least not much really. They had faced many an apocalypse and continued to fight another day.
They had all decided to call Giles, to see if he knew if anything was wrong. They hadn’t been able to reach him. In fact, none of the council’s phones worked. It wasn’t long after that they found out that the Watcher’s headquarters had been decimated. They still couldn’t contact Giles. So they did what they did best, became a team. They researched, with and without much success, worked with demons for information, anything that could give them some sort of lead. They were desperate for an idea of what they were fighting.
Willow knew that they were close to finding out who was behind all the attacks, but she lost her focus on the upcoming apocalypse once Spike started getting sick. Not sick like fevers, but intense pain in his head, uncontrollable, worse than any migraine you could experience. He tried his best to hide his pain from the redhead, knowing she was frightened, but sometimes, it hurt so bad that he couldn’t hold in the whimpers as his hands clutched at his head. He would smell her tears in the air as she cradled him in her arms as he willed away the pain, cursing himself for putting her through this. She had been through enough, he hated that he was the cause of her worry.
Even Buffy and the rest of the gang were scared for the bleached blonde. They tried to help as best they could, but they were all puzzled over the cause of his ailment. Willow even did a spell, hoping to reveal any signs of magic performed on him, thinking his problem might be mystical. There wasn’t a trace. They all still did their best to find out what was the matter with him, but the witch could see resignation in their eyes. They were preparing themselves for his possible death. Well, she couldn’t resign herself to that yet, he wasn’t about to die. He had promised her he wouldn’t leave her, that he couldn’t leave her, and damn it she was going to make sure he never broke his word.
And then he showed up. Soldier boy, as Spike liked to call him. Willow had never been happier to see Riley Finn in her life then she was at that moment. He was there, the Initiative in tow, to track a demon, when Buffy ran into him. In between all the uncomfortable silences and the awkward introduction of his wife, they managed to find out one important fact from the man they once called friend. Spike’s chip was killing him.
Nasty thing about technology, it’s manmade, and anything manmade eventually breaks. Humankind is fallible. So they all had three options. Leave him in agony to suffer and slowly wither away, take the chip out and replace it, or remove it entirely. While no one, surprisingly enough, wanted the blonde to suffer, they were hesitant to do as Willow asked and leave him completely chip-less. They were worried for their own safety, she understood, but she knew in her heart Spike would never hurt them. He never professed to care about them, but Willow did, and that was enough for him. It had taken a lot of yelling and screaming on her part, but she finally got her way. Riley had pointed them in the direction of a secret military installment and promised them the men there had their orders to remove the chip. Spike would no longer be considered ‘neutered’.
He had recovered quickly enough, with a steady diet of blood bought from Willy and Willow’s constant care, Spike was back on his feet in no time. The first time he walked through the slayer’s front door and into her living room for one of their meetings, he smirked at the anxious, slightly fearful glances they sent his way. With the exception of two. Willow and Dawn only looked to him with trust and love, and damn him it made him feel good. It also made him feel like a total ponce, but he didn’t care. Soon enough, they were assured that he was no threat, their postures relaxed and Xander went back to teasing him good-naturedly while Buffy made her usual half-hearted threats of staking.
She thought it was over, not the apocalypse, that’s never over, but the worry of Spike’s death. Willow had fussed over him, much as he did her all those months before when she was recovering from withdrawal. But slowly but surely he had convinced her he was fine, was going no where, and she had begun to relax again. That was until they found out the identity of their newest foe.
Giles had showed up on Buffy’s front porch, three teenage girls at his side, much to their amazement. Reunions were cut short as the seriousness of the situation came over them. Giles had barely escaped death as watchers and slayers-in-training were being hunted and systematically killed by It’s armies. The armies of the First.
When he finally managed to tell them about the explosion at the council, the bringer’s that tried to kill him, that had killed his colleagues, a deafening silence fell upon the group, friends and newcomers alike. They knew it was going to be bad, but now they were certain of one thing. There was a very good chance that while they all might be going into this battle together, they all would not make it out. Certain death was a bit daunting really.
The next few weeks were stressful to say the least. The two-story Summers’ home, which easily fit their small group, was soon filled to the brim with new girls, strangers with one thing in common. If Faith ever died, one of them could be the next to be called to fight. At any moment, one of them, some no older than thirteen, could become chosen.
Buffy and Giles set up a strict training schedule, wanting to make sure the girls were prepared as best they could be for the coming fight. Spike even through in his hat, helping the slayer teach the potentials offensive moves, while Buffy taught them defense. They were progressing at a decent pace, but it was an unspoken fact that they weren’t moving fast enough. Bringers were coming, more and more, Andrew, of all people, had appeared, admitting to the murder of his friend Jonathan, his blood allowing the seal below the school to be opened. Thanks to the foolish boy, they not only had the First to worry about, but a new, super strong, nearly undefeatable uber vamp.
Things were going badly. Morale was low and Willow was beginning to feel useless. Xander had his place, helping the girls adjust, Dawn and Anya were covering research, Spike and Buffy were busy training. She felt like she was just wasting space. But Giles, lovely Giles had given her a purpose once more. He became her teacher, guided her through stronger, more potent magic. He gave her confidence, assurance, and allowed her to be of help. She loved him for that.
Buffy had managed to kill the uber vamp, in front of the troops no less. Thankfully, her small victory allowed for a feeling of confidence among the rag tag group. In no time, Faith too became a part of the team, her appearance unnerving Buffy a bit, but the slayers were able to make their peace without coming to blows. Thank heaven for small favors.
So the days were the same for awhile. The girls trained, as did Willow, although her efforts were purely mystical, but still as necessary. Spike would take them all out to train in the ‘field’ at dusk before returning back to the crowded Summers’ home. Around two or three in the morning, everything would begin to settle around the house, the girls were sent to bed and the adults were too tired to even try and stay up. That was the part of the day Willow looked forward to. She would climb into bed, allowing her body to relax from the stress of the day, until she heard the door to her bedroom, formerly Joyce’s room, open and close softly. A moment later the bed would dip and she would feel a cool arm slip around her waist, pulling her against a hard body. She would curl up against Spike, her head on his chest as his fingers ran through her hair gently, in a soothing manner. She would run her fingernails up and down his abdomen and he purred in contentment. Closing her eyes she would let his soft growls calm her to sleep, whispered words of love coming from both their mouths before they finally slumbered. She could never get enough of moments like that.
Their routine was interrupted harshly with the appearance of Caleb. They had enough to deal with already. The bringers were increasing in number, more and more uber vamps patrolled the streets, the First was playing mind games with them all, and now they had an overzealous preacher come to kill them all. They were a popular group apparently.
Xander lost his eye. They all had become nearly catatonic when that happened. It may seem stupid, considering he was alive and relatively well, but truthfully, their fear made sense. The three of them, Willow, Buffy, and Xander, they had seen many people die, many be hurt, but never had one of them been so seriously injured, so permanently disfigured. It made them feel even more vulnerable, so very…mortal. And it was terrifying. It even shook Spike, but his reaction was more from Willow’s obvious fear than Xander’s injury.
But every cloud has a silver lining and thankfully enough, they had some good news. Buffy found the scythe. What it did, what it was needed for was still such a mystery. But it’s mere existence had the First scared, so they knew it was invaluable. For the first time in many weeks, they felt that familiar sliver of hope creeping into their beings. They might just have a chance to win this. There would be casualties, no doubt, but still, they might somehow save the day. That was what was important, wasn’t it?
And then there was that fateful moment, the reappearance of an old friend and ally, the return of Angel. He didn’t stay long, Buffy wouldn’t let him. Willow understood why, it was the practical soldier in the slayer. While his help would be useful on their front, there was still a chance they weren’t going to succeed, and if they didn’t, the First and it’s armies could not be allowed to get past Sunnydale. Angel was their second line of defense, albeit reluctantly so. But before he left, he handed Buffy what looked like it could have been a relic. An amulet.
What it did they weren’t sure, but Angel made it clear who it was to go to. There were prophecies and the Powers that Be involved in this and they all pointed to one man who could wear this amulet. Or a vampire to be more precise. Willow didn’t know what to think of it when the slayer handed Spike the necklace. He fingered it with curiosity and shrugged in his nonchalant way, doing his best to assure Willow that there was no need to worry. He would be fine. He made her a promise, after all. He wouldn’t leave her. He couldn’t.
They were able to kill Caleb and a few bringers as the town was suddenly evacuated. That was not a good sign. If the oblivious citizens of Sunnydale were fleeing the city in panic that could only be a sign of bad things to come.
And then the day of reckoning was upon them. After a heart to heart with Buffy and Xander, Willow walked into the newly built halls of Sunnydale High, them at her side. Giles, Faith, and Spike escorted the potentials to the basement and the site of the seal. Faith remained with the girls as Giles and Spike went back upstairs. The original trio said a few words to each other and the older man they considered a father, never saying the words but knowing they were really saying goodbye. Xander gave Willow a last squeeze of his hand and Buffy smiled at the redhead before she headed to the basement and Xander and Giles joined Anya at the entrance, ready to stop any vamps that made it past the troops in the basement. Spike walked to his witch’s side, saying nothing, just pulling her close. He took a moment to take in the scent of her before moving back, kissing her softly and doing his best to smile reassuringly. He slipped the amulet around his neck and his hand came up to caress her cheek.
“You go work your mojo, pet,” he said to her softly, looking into her watery green eyes. “I’ll be seein’ ya in a little awhile.”
She smiled weakly and placed a chaste kiss on his lips before allowing him to step away. He gently pushed her toward the scythe that was propped up against the nearest wall and she retrieved it, holding it tightly in her grip.
“Get in the office,” he told her, watching as she hesitantly turned and walked into the small office where her magic supplies were laid out. She was getting ready to perform the biggest spell of her life. Hopefully her Goddess would not fail her now. She felt Spike’s blue eyes follow her as she closed and locked the door behind her. He inhaled deeply, unnecessarily, his hand clutching the amulet around his neck. “I love you…” he whispered before turning on his heel and stalking determinedly toward the basement.
The signal was given only moments later to begin. Willow began her chanting, her tone hushed but hurried. Xander, Anya, Giles, and Andrew were each posted outside so she wasn’t too worried about her immediate safety. When the power went through her she nearly fainted from the feel of it. It was euphoric and she barely registered the sound of growls coming from the hall as a few vamps burst out of the basement after making it past the girls.
Standing abruptly, the magic still flowing through her, Willow grabbed the scythe and without worry for her own safety, flung open the office door. A vamp charged at her, but she decapitated it swiftly and continued running. She had a destination in mind and nothing would stop her. She needed to get to the basement, she needed to make sure Spike was okay.
She probably killed four or five vamps on the way downstairs, she wasn’t sure. When she finally reached the battle site, her eyes widened and her body couldn’t hold back the violent shudder. There were so many of them. They didn’t have a prayer.
Telling herself she was wrong, that she had to be, she plowed through, killing as many vamps as she could, encouraged to see the destruction the now slayers were wreaking. Her balance faltered when the earth trembled beneath them all and she screeched when she felt the sting of a claw swiping at her arm, leaving a crimson trail across it. She heard her name called from a few feet away and was relieved to see Spike there, in the middle of breaking the neck of another vamp. Knowing she was okay, Spike’s eyes left hers and he continued to fight mercilessly.
The ground shook again and the girls were beginning to worry. If the vampires didn’t kill them, a cave in might. Buffy took a quick survey of their surroundings. They had defeated a vast number of the enemy, but one look over the cliff and she knew the battle wasn’t close to over. There so many of them and all of the girls were so tired already. Knowing a collapse was inevitable, Buffy thought it best to take the girls up, maybe they would have a better advantage on higher ground.
As she shouted her command, Spike began to hiss. Willow’s eyes darted to his form, amazed to see the bauble around his neck glowing slightly. He touched it tentatively, his fingers burning. The redhead ran to his side just as Buffy screamed for them to go. Taking his hand in hers, she tugged harshly on his arm, silently telling him to get moving as the girls ran for the hills. He remained where he was.
“We have to go!” she demanded. When he looked back to her an involuntary shiver made its way up her spine. “Please Spike, we have to go!” she pleaded with him, but his surprisingly sad but serene smile was his response.
“You need to go Willow,” he told her, his voice soft above the roar of the coming vampires.
“Not without you!” she swore to him. He looked down at her terrified face, the feeling of unadulterated power coursing through him making him calm.
“You’ll die if you stay,” he said, choking back a sob. “This is destiny, pet. I’ve gotta save the world. Gonna make you proud of me,” he admitted with a half-smile.
Her eyes filled with tears as the light on his chest began to spread, turning from a soft glow to a bright flame. “I love you,” she whispered, her chest constricting in pain.
“Love you too, Willow. But you have to go,” he told her, pushing her gently away from him. She stumbled up a couple steps and looked back to him, the fire on his chest creeping up toward his face and down his torso. “I’ve gotta stay…want to see how this ends,” he smirked through the flames before a sudden burst of light caused his body to convulse, the expression across his face a combination of pleasure and pain.
With a final look back, she forced down a heaving sob and ran up the stairs, the room bathed in light after a moment as the tormented screams of all those vampires filled the school. The ground shook even harder.
She ran, past the battered and bloody body of Anya and out the front doors. She spotted all the girls in a school bus a few feet away. She hesitated only a moment before hearing a loud crash as the center of the school collapsed. Buffy’s urgent scream spurred her into action, the redhead crossing the distance in seconds and hopping onto the bus as they floored it. They only had one destination, the city limits.
They all watched in morbid fascination as the town they called home fell into the earth behind them. The bus only stopped once they passed the lone sign along a dirt highway. Slowly they all piled out, the newest slayers all whooping in victory. Buffy, Xander, and Faith shared a quieter celebration, smiles on their faces. Willow didn’t feel like smiling. They had won, but she couldn’t help but feel like she had lost everything.
An arm rested across her shoulders as Giles pulled the exhausted redhead into a half hug.
“He broke his promise,” she whispered, and his hand squeezed her arm sympathetically.
“He saved the world,” the watcher said softly. She said nothing. She couldn’t argue that.
~~~*~~~
And now she was just driving. Buffy, Dawn, and Xander were in San Francisco for a much needed vacation. Giles flew back to London, with Andrew of all people, to work on rebuilding the council. Faith was wherever she wanted to be. And as for herself, she was abandoning her journey down the coast of California. She felt ungrounded and still so confused. Everything hurt so much. The rest of them, they were all just so glad to be alive. But only Xander might be able to understand the depth of her pain right now. He just lost his love too.
Willow still had an hours drive to her destination. She didn’t know if she would be welcomed with open arms where she was going, but she hoped for the best. She wanted closure, and more than anything, she wanted answers. And there was only one man who had them. Angel.
Meanwhile, the tall, dark vampire studied his new office in the building of Wolfram and Hart. One hand ran through his hair while the other clutched a small pile of mail in the other. With a shrug he dropped the pile of envelopes on his desk and moved to look out the windows that allowed him to see the sun. He paid no attention to the small package sitting on his desk, containing that notorious amulet given to him by the senior partners.
The End…