Willow had left four days ago.  She had tasted freedom.  She knew she
couldn't go back to Graham.  She enjoyed this time to herself, as she
stretched out on the blanket.  She sunlight as she collected her thoughts.
She knew that Tara and Ripper had left the day before to take care of
Forrest. Willow smiled. She wished she could maintain this charade longer,
but she was tired of it.  Tired of pretending she liked Graham.  Tired of
denying her love for Spike. She knew Buffy wouldn't understand.  She wished
she knew when the friendship faded away. Was it when Angel came back?  When
Buffy died? Riley? Adam? Graduation? Faith?  Willow wished she knew when.

She put her cigarette out.  She knew smoking was bad, but she didn't
care. These cigarettes helped her think clearly. She was glad Ripper got
these for her.  She didn't like how Spike's cigarettes reminded her of
smoking dirt. She knew that she was in control again.  She had long ago
accepted the fact that she wouldn't have children.  She found that out when
she was rushed to the hospital with hemorrhaging. She found out that she was
having a miscarriage.  It would have been Rupert's baby. She cried when she
told him. It had only been a week after they hurt her.  He held her as she
cried. They told Buffy and Xander she had food poisoning. They both believed
the lie.  She knew Graham had access to her file.  She remembered how he said
it was one less bastard on the planet.

Graham.  That one struck up so many emotions in her.  Rage, anger, fear
hatred and so much more.  She smiled as she knew how best to break him. She
rubbed her stomach.  This was not planned.  She realized that Graham must
have switched her pills.  The test this morning confirmed it. It made her
laugh when she found a heavy dose of irony at the whole situation. Spike had
said only she tasted differently.  She didn't tell him. She could stand the
thought of giving Graham a child. Did this make her evil? She then wondered
about the nature of evil? What makes something evil? Is it an intrinsic
quality? Is it developed?  Does it start out as good then mature into evil?
She chuckled as her thought wandered to her ethics class in high school. Oh
well, I hated Kant then, and I still don't like him, she said to herself.

She walked back to the hotel.  She smiled as the closure she sought was
so close. Spike would make this all go away. She loved him. He understood
her, all of her.  She always knew she had a dark side.  Buffy was shocked
when Vampire Willow came.  Willow knew the darkness was within her.  Even
when Angel tried not to admit it.  But Giles and Angel both knew. She
wondered about Angel.  She hoped things were okay with him. She wondered what
he would do in her shoes. She made a mental note to call him, he would have a
vested interest in shutting down the Initiative. She took a deep breath and
walked into the room.  She smiled when she saw her lover sleeping.

She licked her lips as her eyes traced their way down his chest. She
loved his body.  He wasn't too bulky or too lanky.  He was defined.  He was
hers. She knew this and she loved it. She then ran onto the bed. Spike
grumbled as his sleep was interrupted by a body next his.  He growled.

"Afternoon, sleepyhead." Willow said, lighting another cigarette.

"Morning." Spike grumbled back at her.

"Ooh, did we wake up on the wrong side of the coffin?" Willow asked.

"You smoke too much Red." Spike said reaching for his own cigarettes.

"Bite me." Willow said. She saw Spike instantly wake up.  He pulled her
close and in his human face bit her leg.  Willow laughed.

"You alright, love?"

"We will head back.  It ends tonight."

Spike pulled her close to him. "What is the plan?"

"Well, since I have left without anyone knowing where I am, Graham will
be upset, especially with Forrest missing and now Tara's disappearance. We
will take him out tonight and break him."

"Sounds smashing."

"We will take him back to the house. I want to him to see me go into your
arms, willingly.  I want him to see you love, kiss me and kill me."

"I don't want you dead lover."

"Not dead, make me like you." Willow whispered.

"You really want that?"

"It has to be soon, or else it won't ever happen."

"What do you mean?"

"Graham fucked with my pills.  I'm pregnant.  I can't give a child, not
after they made me lose Ripper's.  I'm only six weeks, the longer this thing
grows in me, the sooner I chicken out.  I want him to know I'm pregnant."
Willow said on the verge of tears.

Spike pulled her close.  He cried with her when he found out she was
pregnant with Ripper's kid.  He knew she wanted to be a mother.  He certainly
didn't want a kid of Graham's.  He just held her tight. "Tonight my love, I
will make you mine, forever." Spike said.

"I love you Spike."

"I worship you Willow, my liquid fire." Spike said. Spike watched as
Willow packed the clothes they bought. He had to admit, she had a body for
leather and silk and lace and spandex. He drove them back to the new place.
He walked around the old Vandcleft estate.  They walked in to a roaring fire.
 Willow smiled as Tara, wearing only a blood red silk robe came out of the
kitchen.
 

"Willow this place rocks. I love the wine cellar. We also have a dungeon."

"A dungeon?" Spike asked.

"Yes, Sire." Ripper, wearing leather pants and carrying a smaller
bullwhip.

Willow saw Tara's grin. "Awesome." Spike said.

"Topaz, show Spike your lovely back." Ripper commanded.  Spike and Willow
watched as Tara slipped off the robe.  They both saw the deep gashes on her
back.

"Did that hurt?" Willow asked.

"Only the first two.  I like it.  I love Ripper and whips.  He let me
play on him." Tara said with a devilish gleam in her eyes.

Willow smiled.  "Have you two been lying low?"

"Yes, we went west for dinner. Stayed here." Ripper said, his eyes glued
to marks he placed on Tara.

"Good.  Spike are we ready?" Willow asked.

"Yeah." He said. They then unloaded the clothes and headed back towards
town.  The car ride was quiet, each engrossed in their thoughts.

"Willow, no regrets?"

"None."

"Keep this pin on you, it has a listening device.  I will be there in
case you need help." Spike said.  He was nervous about dropping her off in
the lions den. He knew she was strong, but he still worried.  He then parked
his car and watched her go into the building.
 

Willow took a deep breath as she approached her dorm room. She was
nervous.  She collected her thoughts and put her key in the lock. She was
greeted by a crazed looking Graham, a nervous slayer and an accusing
commando.

"Where the hell have you been?" Graham demanded.

"Took a long weekend. Did I need you permission?" Willow snapped back at
him.

"We were worried." Buffy said.

"I needed some alone grieving time." Willow said to her friend. She
neglected to say fuck Spike senseless time.

"For what?" Riley asked.

"Rupert." Willow said.

"Giles died over a month ago.  Forrest has been missing for over tow
weeks now." Graham told her.

"Not my problem." Willow said.  She felt in control.

"Tara has vanished from the hospital, you wouldn't know anything about
that now would you?" Riley asked.

"Nope, again not my problem. I could careless about Forrest being gone, I
wish I knew where Tara was, maybe the Initiative knows." Willow said. She was
irritated by Riley and the tone he was using with her.  Buffy might take it,
Willow wasn't about to.

"Willow?" Buffy said stunned by Willow's attitude.

"What, Buffy I hate him anyway."

"Forrest is my friend."

"Graham, I could care less about Forrest.  Can we get over this already."
Willow said.

"Willow, how can you be so cruel at a time like this?" Buffy asked.

"I am sorry that Forrest is whatever, but my mentor and friend is dead."

"I lost my watcher." Buffy said in a childlike voice.

"I lost my lover." Willow said in a cold as ice voice.

"What are you talking about?" Buffy asked.

"Rupert and I were lovers.  Graham and Forrest destroyed that love and
the child I was carrying." Willow said. Willow saw the small amount of
control Graham had was slowly cracking.

"Willow, Graham loves you.  How could you hurt him like that? And with
Giles? My watcher?"

"Buffy. Get this straight. I hate Graham.  He and Forrest, they are
monsters.  They make Angelus look like a fucking priest." Willow spat.  She
saw the way Buffy jumped back as if you hit her. Willow turned and walked
into her closet and opened the suitcase.  She began to throw clothes inside
them.

"Willow, where are you going? How could you? With Giles?" Buffy asked.

"What, just because he was your watcher meant that he couldn't let anyone
else into his heart."

"Willow, this is madness, when were you pregnant?"

"Remembering that food poisoning?  It was a fucking miscarriage. I nearly
died on Giles floor that night. My child died because of Graham.  He said it
was one less bastard." Willow shouted. Maybe Buffy should have stayed dead,
Willow silently thought to herself.

Willow then went back to her packing. "Willow, stop this crazy talk. You
acting crazier than Dru for god sakes."

It was Willow's self control that nearly broke. She got into Buffy's
face. "I am not acting like HER." Willow shouted. At that moment, a rush of
energy went through her and she let it slip out, knocking the occupants of
the room a good three feet.

Willow then packed her suitcase and cleared her tears. She then walked
out.  She knew Graham would find her.  She saw how he looked at her neck.
She knew he saw the deep bite mark on her neck. She smiled as she walked
outside.  She saw Xander approaching.  She did the compulsion spell and
continued walking.

Xander wasn't sure why he looked it the other direction, he just did.  He
recognized Willow immediately.  He knew she had been gone for a few days.  He
was worried about her.  He noticed how she had been slowly retreating into
her self.  He really noticed it after Giles died. Xander shook his head when
he thought about Giles.  He looked up to Giles so much, and he never told the
watcher.  He missed him a lot.  He decided to follow Willow.  He had worried
about her. He watched her head into the cemetery. It was the cemetery that
they first discovered about vampires so many years ago.

He did notice Willow had been crying.  He felt protective of her after
Jessie died.  It was times like these Xander missed those who had been lost;
Jessie, Giles, Ms. Calendar, Angel, Faith, Kendra. Granted some weren't
permanently dead, but they weren't around anymore.  Xander realized just how
much this town had changed.  He watched as Willow went into the crypt. He saw
a shadow move and reached for his stake. He was relieved when it was Spike.

"Alright lover?" Spike asked Willow.  He knew that Willow was hurt when
Buffy compared her to Dru. He wanted to break Slutty's jaw.  He pulled her
close. He felt her warm kisses on his neck. "Xander is watching, let's give
him a show." Willow whispered into Spike's ear.

"Naughty girl." Spike said with a grin. He liked the wild side Willow
had, even though he wouldn't have figured her for that type. He kissed her
deep.  Willow groaned and wrapped her arms around Spike's neck.  She ground
herself into him, loving how his very touch made her crazy. She snaked her
legs around his waist.  He walked them into the crypt and lie her on the
makeshift bed. He kissed her neck as Willow panted, trying to catch her
breath.

Xander watched as Spike ripped Willow's shirt open, exposing her breast
to the night air.  Xander heard Willow groan as Spike's mouth descended upon
one firm nipple.  Willow dug her nails into Spike's scalp. His fingertips
teased her other nipple, making Willow grind her hips against Spike. He then
trailed his kisses to the other nipple.  His hands traveled south, trying to
get her clothes off.  He wanted to feel her skin against his.  Hot skin to
his cooler skin.  He wanted to be in her, making her crazy with need. He
stripped her nicely. "So lovely naked." Spike said.

Willow smiled, knowing that the acoustics were enhanced so Xander would
hear everything. "Spike." Willow panted as his fingers entered her. Spike
watched as Willow wildly bucked against his fingers.  He teased her clit with
his tongue while his fingers hit that spot making her tremble. He knew how
sensitive she was.  He wanted to tease her on end, but they had work to do.
He grinned when he knew he would explore all the torments.  After tonight,
they would have all the time in the world.

Spike smiled as Willow came all over his fingers.  He licked them clean,
loving her taste. Willow then smiled. She then sat up and pushed him back.
She removed his shirt and began to tease his hard nipples.  Spike groaned as
her tongue and teeth teased him. He felt her hands travel down his chest,
dragging her fingernails.  He loved that gesture.  He felt himself harden
even more.  He grinned when Willow pooped his belt buckle.   He watched her
drag her tongue down his chest. Spike gasped for unneeded air as Willow took
his impressive length into her throat.

Xander watched, both thrilled and horrified as Willow early took Spike's
cock into hr mouth.  He had suspected something between them.  Anya said he
was imagining things.  He was instantly hard as he watched they way Spike and
Willow were touching each other. He almost lost it when Spike bellowed he was
going to come. Xander watched as Willow began seriously slurping up and down
his shaft.  Xander watched as Spike bit himself as he came.  He then saw
Willow kiss Spike.
"Willow, I love you."

"I love you Spike, we have to leave, he'll kill us." Willow said.

Spike then helped Willow dress.  He made sure she was wearing the tight
leather pants he gave her. He loved how thy looked on her with the black silk
camisole top. "Spike, I look evil." Willow said.

"You are Red, you're a little devil.  But you are my little devil.  Let's
go before he gets here."  Willow smiled and broke the spell.  She knew Xander
would rush to find Buffy.  When finding Buffy, he would find Graham. They
walked hand in hand to Giles apartment. Willow was glad that she and Tara had
been smuggling all of Giles books to the new place.  They looked lovely in
the two- story library.  Willow then straddled Spike.  He had been kissing
her, waiting.
 

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