What Lies Beyond

Author: Jennnillu

Pairing: W/S W/A S/A W/S/A(eventually) & some W/K

Rating: NC-17 (overall)

Disclaimer: I humbly borrow, twisting and bending plots to my will.

Summary: A very different season 7

Spoilers: Anything through to the end of Buffy and the first episode of Angel season 5 is fair game

Couples notes: Spike got the soul, he and Buffy are NOT together. Willow went to England to become 'not evil' and then came back. Tara is gone. This fic is all about the angst...you've been warned...oh...and the ships are slow moving...Angel will join the mix eventually....but not for a while:)

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~Part: 1~

Buffy jumped. She leapt forward, sacrificing herself for the ones she loved, saving the world yet again from complete destruction. Those that she loved were alive and more or less kicking, and she was gone. In heaven? In hell? Wasn't ever quite sure. Then, a couple months later, Willow brought her back. Wasn't all sunshine and lollypops…never is. There was darkness and pain, but they got through it…we all did, and in the end, we were together. I finally had her, and she wanted me, and everyone was supposed to be happy. But she used me and I hurt her, and bloody fucking hell! Even in my dreams, even in my fantasies, it doesn't end happily. I knew it was wrong from day one, but I couldn't get her out of my head. She became my obsession, and even in my dreams, even then, things still unravel and fall apart, and even then she doesn't really love me.

But that isn't the way it worked out. Not even close. In the end, she wasn't the only one to perish. The First came and it would not be stopped. I didn't stick around to help their little group afterwards, and she didn't save the world. Well, not exactly. At least, not all of the world. And I never, not in a million years, would have ever guessed it would turn like this. Don't know if this is better or worse than the fantasy I had conjured in my head. Still not sure exactly how this one goes. Still not sure if we get the happy ending or not. Still not sure about what lies beyond.

* * * * *

"Harmony, this file on the lady who thinks her cat has been possessed by the ghost of her late husband? It doesn't make any sense," Angel called out to his secretary as she ran into his office and shut the door behind her. He tossed the file onto his desk.

"It makes perfect sense…Maybe you just aren't reading it correctly," she countered haughtily.

"Harm, the only thing it talks about is her husband's fondness for catnip, and I don't even understand who she's trying to sue, because…" Angel was cut off when the door to his office was thrown open and they looked up to see the blur of something rushing in. They both stood there, staring in stunned silence at what appeared to be a very battered blond vampire carrying a large bundle in his arms. He was panting slightly and looked about ready to pass out at any moment.

"Spike," Angel ground out and took a menacing step closer to the younger vampire.

"Angelus, help…her," he whispered hoarsely, holding out his arms a little toward Angel. That was when he noticed the bit of red hair peaking from beneath the blanket that was wrapped around her.

"Spike, is that…" Harmony began to question.

"Willow," Angel said, his voice catching in his throat as he pulled the blanket back to see her face. She was extremely pale and looked to be full of cuts and bruises. Quickly snatching the girl out of the arms of the blond, he growled. "What the hell did you do to her?" Last he had heard, Willow was dead and gone. but now...

"Me? I didn't do anything, you fucking ponce! Now help her! I'll explain it all to you afterwards," Spike shouted back, sounding more frantic and pleading than he intended. He stumbled over to a chair and slumped down onto it. "And could I maybe get a little blood here?" He looked up at Harmony, who scowled at him, and then looked to Angel. He thought for a moment and then nodded to her, sending her off to retrieve some blood for the unwelcome guest.

Angel, in the meantime, laid Willow down on the leather couch and unwrapped the tattered blanket from around her. He gasped, looked down at her, taking in her appearance. She looked nearly dead, though he could hear her heartbeat was slow and steady. Brushing a bit of tangled red hair away from her face, he looked up at the other vampire. "Spike, what happened?"

"Long story, mate. End of the world kind of stuff, lot of carnage, none of it good," Spike answered, none of his usual dark humor present in his voice. After hesitating for a moment, he continued. "She gonna be ok?"

"I think so. I mean her heartbeat seems strong enough, but without having a clue what happened to her, it's a little hard to say," Angel glared at him.

"She passed out a few hours ago, drained all her energy," Spike explained.

"Well, let me just take her upstairs and get her into a bed. I'll have Fred keep watch over her incase anything changes or she wakes up, and then YOU will explain to me exactly what the hell happened."

Angel gently lifted her back up and carried her to the elevator that led to his apartment. Several minutes later he returned to see Spike still sitting in the office, finishing off a warmed mug of blood. He stood over him, his arms crossed, his body rigid with anger.

"Start talking, now, Spike," he commanded.

"Now hang on just a second there, peaches," Spike sat up a bit straighter. "I saved her life! Don't go gettin all mighty and pissed at me until you hear what went down, got it?"

Angel sighed and sat in a chair across from him. "Ok, Spike, tell me what happened."

~Part: 2~

(one year earlier)

"Willow," a faint voice called out to her. "Willow, it's time, to go back…Go back and fulfill your destiny." The redhead spun around, her tear-filled green eyes searching wildly for the person speaking to her. Suddenly, the Master appeared before her and she screamed, jumping back.

"Don't fear me," he said, reaching out to caress her cheek with long, bony fingers. She cringed and shuddered, trying to back away. "In another place, you were my childe. You sat at my right hand and you were magnificently powerful."

"Yeah, well here, it doesn't work that way," she stated, her own voice sounding distant and foreign as she tried to appear braver than she was.

"It is in you…the potential…I've seen it. All you can do, all you are…it's a part of you. Your magic, you can pretend it comes from a place of goodness, but we know where its origins really lie, don't we? Anger, vengeance…ahh, yes…dark hatred. Finish what you've started, my precious, and become what you were destined to be."

"No!" She stepped back and stared at him in cold defiance. "You, you aren't even real, and it's not true! What you say…I…It's not true!"

"Oh no? Come on, honey, I've seen what you can do." Suddenly, the Master was gone, replaced by Glory. "I saw all that cute, little power you had, even before you went all evil-wicca-girl." The hell- god smiled at her, making Willow want to turn and run, but of course your legs never take you where you want to go when you're trapped in a nightmare. "Come on. You know you're just dying to let it out."

"No, I'm not. Not unless it's to kill you," Willow told her, her voice shaking as she took a few steps back.

"Kill me? You couldn't kill me before, when I stole your lover's mind. And now? I'm beyond anything you've ever fought before, little girl. I'm evil, absolute."

In a flash, Glory disappeared, and Willow took another startled step back, jumping and turning as she felt herself bump into something. It was a body, gutted and covered in blood. The redhead screamed and moved away from it, backing into another one. Turning to run, she stopped, seeing Warren's skinned body hanging right in front of her. She gasped in horror just before hearing his voice speaking to her.

"Hey, Sparky. Remember me? I would guess I'd be hard to forget, huh? Killing me...something you'll always remember, vividly. Remember the way it felt, torturing me before you ripped my skin from my body?"

"Stop it! STOP IT!" Willow screamed, closing her eyes and sinking to the ground, rain now falling hard around her.

"You're a killer." She heard the words whispered in her ear and looked up, seeing him standing over her. "That's right. We both know it, don't we? It's who you are. It's in you now. It's a part of you. You killed me, and it felt pretty damn great. Come on, admit it! Your soul is already damned, you know. No turning back now. At least this way, you'll have accomplished something, right? Come on, you know you're just itching to lose control again."

"No! No, I-I don't want to. I won't," she sobbed, her hands covering her face. "I'd die before I'd let myself lose control again."

Warren shrugged, before disappearing, and Willow suddenly felt something over her shoulder. Looking up, she gasped and fell back a little.

"Tara?" She whispered, a sob escaping her lips, just before a bright, white light flashed and Willow's eyes flew open, her body jumping in her bed.

Her heart was racing and her breath coming hard as she looked around the small, dark room. She could hear the cold rain hitting the roof above her. It always seemed to be raining there. Giles told her that it was England, just had a lot of rain, but Willow felt sure it was because of her.

As she tried to calm herself, the redhead concentrated on the sound of the pitter-pattering rain, and her own deep breathing, before eventually sinking back into her pillows. Another nightmare. They had been coming much more frequently lately, and she would have done anything to make them stop. Tomorrow, she would be returning to Sunnydale. Not only was she worried about seeing her friends again, but now she knew there was something stirring underneath, around the hell mouth, and that knowledge couldn't possibly lead to anything good.

      *            *            *            *

There was a knock on the Summers' front door. Dawn jumped up to get it, thinking that maybe Giles and Willow had come home a day early. As she flung the door open, the wide smile on her face fell.

"Spike," she whispered.

The blond vampire nodded at her before looking down. He looked like death, even for a vampire, as if he hadn't eaten in weeks.

"Dawn who is…" Buffy stopped short as she came out into the foyer and saw him.

Spike looked up with his eyes, his head still tilted downward. "Buffy," he whispered.

"Get out." Her tone was cold and even, and Dawn immediately began to close the door.

"Wait!" He shouted, his head suddenly shooting up, his eyes wide. "I need to see Willow. I need her help." He didn't notice as both girls flinched at the name.

"Willow isn't here," Buffy told him. "Now leave."

"Where can I find her? I need to find her, Buffy, please. Need to find Red. She's take the spark away, make it all right again." Something was different in his voice, but the slayer chose to ignored it.

"She's out of the country, with Giles," Dawn said quietly.

"Well, what about her little girl friend? Not as powerful, but maybe…"

"No!" Buffy shouted, taking a step closer to the door.

"Tara's not here anymore," Dawn whispered.

"Well, when will Red be back? I need her help. The magic…"

"Stay the hell away from Willow," Buffy ground out.

"I'm not gonna hurt her," the vampire told her. "I need a spell or somethin. I need to stop the voices that…The voices...the don't stop, but maybe..."

"I mean it Spike. Stay away from her. Do not ask her to do any magic."

"Look, I know she's on the wagon and all that, but this is important. You don't understand."

"No, Spike, YOU don't understand. Willow…You have no idea what's happened."

"What are you talking about?"

Buffy sighed. "Short story…Warren tried to kill me, killed Tara in the process. She died in Willow's arms. We didn't know…Willow, she went kinda dark. It was bad. Right after you took off…it was…it was really bad."  Spike just stared at her in shock for a moment.  "Giles took her to England to get control of the magic."

"I'm sorry," he said, more to himself than anyone else.

"You are? Why?" Dawn asked softly.

"What?" He looked up at her in confusion.

"Why are you sorry? You're a soulless killer. Why do you care?"

Spike looked back down in shame and turned to leave.

    *               *                 *                *

The next night, the blond vampire was making his way through the cemetery, when he caught a familiar scent and followed it to a secluded little area, seeing a very familiar person before him.

As she knelt down in front of the grave stone, Willow let a single red rose drop from her hand onto the ground. As tears began to stream down her cheeks, she silently began to pray to her beloved. After many minutes, she slumped back down and let her sobs break free, burying her face in her hands. Her body shook as she cried for all she had lost and all she had taken.

Suddenly, she was startled by a hand on her shoulder. The redhead looked up in surprise.

"Spike!"

"Think the hole's all closed up now?" He questioned, his eyes looking slightly less lucid than she remembered.

"The…the hole? You mean the hellmouth?" She asked in confusion.

"The HOLE," he repeated in exasperation, pointing at her chest. "I can still see it, you know, gaping wide open. Gotta be careful there, could get infected."

"Huh?"

"Go along thinking it's mending, it's healing, doin all the right things, as if you can just pick up your heart, didn't know…leave it unbeating long enough and it's too late…too cold. Worse off than ever before and more blackened."

"Spike, what are you talking about?" Willow was now thoroughly confused.

"Can't pretend it doesn't hurt. Too hard to hide those tears. THOSE tears…can't hide those, not this time. Can just about smell the fear, even when it's buried and dead. Still can smell it, brewing, bubbling…start feelin again, start carin again, and then what? Faced with no one to love you."

"Spike, are you talking about me or you?" The redhead asked.

"Well, obviously!" He responded, throwing his hands up. Then, suddenly, his eyes seemed to change, become a bit clearer.  "Red, I'm sorry," he told her. She could see the sincerity in his eyes and didn't question it. He knelt down beside her and they stayed like that, in silence, for a long moment, before she turned and looked at him again.

"How long have you been back?" She asked.

"Couple of days," he answered with a shrug.

"Where did you go?"

"That's a bit of a long, complicated story."

"Oh." She was silent, looking as if deep in thought for another minute, before speaking again. "You look terrible."

"Gee, thanks pet," he said with a slight grin.

"Well, I just mean that you look like you haven't eaten much lately," she clarified.

"Haven't."

She cocked her head, silently questioning why.

"Haven't wanted to," he told her.

"You mean haven't been able to," she corrected.

"No." He looked her right in the eyes. "Haven't wanted to."

After a moment, she realized, "You have your soul! How?"

"Again with the long story."

"Did…did you eat a gypsy?"

"Not quite, pet," he replied with a slight chuckle.

"How do you feel?"

He was surprised at that question. "Haven't much thought about that. More thinkin about how all my victims felt."

"Yeah," she said with a nod of her head. "I get that."

"Willow, you have no idea what it's like, to have taken life, and care…"

"They didn't tell you? I…I killed people, Spike. I almost…gods….I killed people." Willow looked away, biting her lower lip to keep the tears at bay.

"I…I didn't know," he told her. "Buffy said it was bad. Said you'd gone dark, but I didn't think…I'm sorry."

"Me too," she said quietly. "So, um, was there something you wanted?"

Spike thought about that question for the moment. He had come to her, desperately hoping that she could extract the soul from him, take away the pain and guilt that he had foolishly asked for, but now…he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He couldn't ask her to do something like that. And so, instead, he simply shook his head and sat with her a while longer, in the dark silence, among those they deemed so much better that had gone before.

~Part: 3~

Spike had been hearing voices. The voices had been telling him to do things. Bad things. Everyone knew this by now. What they didn't know was that Willow was hearing the voices as well, and they were telling her to do things, too. She had been able to hide that fact so far, and hoped her luck would hold out. The last thing she wanted was for her friends to know the things that the First whispered to her when no one else was around. She couldn't even imagine what they would say or do if they found out.

As it was, they were always watching her. She had thought it would get easier. Time heals all wounds, and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. But she didn't feel stronger. She felt weaker than ever before, and more tired. And things weren't any easier than the day she fell apart.

Willow went away, and struggled, and learned, and toiled and began to heal, but then she came back, and with her came all the demons screaming in her head.

They smiled and they hugged and they pretended that it was alright, but she knew it wasn't. She knew the images that they had playing in their minds, because they constantly plagued her own as well. She knew they saw her now as the black-eyed girl attempting to destroy them all. She knew this because it was what she was. She could hide behind the red and the green, but they all knew now, and she couldn't make them forget.

She had tried that once before. Learned that lesson. No more mind games for this redhead. Wouldn't do any good anyway. One thing she came back with was the understanding that the universe will set things as they should be, and if she tried to mess with what she didn't have authority over, it would come back to bite her in the end. She was still the smart one, after all.

They never looked her right in the eye. Maybe they didn't think that she noticed, or maybe they didn't care, but she did notice and it killed her just a little bit each time. They never looked her in the eye, and when she wasn't looking at them, she knew they watched her. They watched to be sure that she was still on the straight and narrow. She was still the good girl with the restrained magic, and she couldn't blame them, after all. They had every right to be watching. But still, it hurt, to know they were always watching, but never looking at her.

"Spike! Spike, are you here?" Willow called out, slowly navigating the ever changing maze that was the high school basement. She had been told that he was down there and was hoping to find the vampire and talk to him, maybe get him to leave the basement, which was clearly NOT helping with his sanity issues.

Just as she craned her neck to peer around a corner, the blond vampire suddenly jumped out in front of her, startling the redhead.

"Geez, Spike, don't do that," Willow chastised, clutching her chest as her heart thumped heavily below.

"You don't have permission to be down here," he told her. "I didn't hear the bell ring."  His eyes were wild and unfocused.

"Spike, you scared me," she told him, still willing her heartbeat to slow down.

"Scared, strong? No different, no different than all the others. Think you were wronged, do you? Think it wasn't your own fault?" He was shouting questions, and looking away from the redhead, off to his side.

"What? I…I know it was my fault, Spike. I know that…"

"After everything you've done, after all the trouble and pain," he growled, still not looking at her, "And…oh…now look at you." His gaze shifted slightly, though he still didn't look toward Willow. "Well, aren't you a sight. Not expecting that. All glowy and pretty...little bird…so happy until the nest fell down. Tragedy that, not right…"

"Spike, please, I…" Willow was trying to get his attention, though he was still looking away from her and talking. "She hurts, you hurt. All wrong, nothing right. All wrong. Flame flickering, flickering…needs fanning, it does….needs a little push, maybe." He stopped suddenly, his eyes shifting back to where he had been looking a moment earlier.

"Well, decide what it will be then! Dead, alive, dead, alive…" He was angry now, and didn't seem to notice Willow at all. "Does she live or does she die? Why should I? Why should I be the one? It was your trigger, wasn't it? Your arm, your hand, and her…" He glanced at Willow for a moment. "So red, so black, red…hurting, but not enough." Spike's head suddenly shot back to the empty space he had been talking to a moment earlier. "Not hurting enough? Need more? When is it enough? Huh? Pain? Death? Love? Life? No differences, not anymore, not in her."

"Spike," Willow called out, trying to get his attention again, his words making her increasingly uncomfortable.

"Get out!" He shouted, shutting his eyes and bringing his hands to his head. "I won't! I won't help you! Not to do that! Not to her. No! Won't help! Get your kicks somewhere else! Not here, no admission, gates have closed. Get out!"

At that, willow turned and ran from him, through the maze and out of the building, tears pouring down her cheeks.

Spike opened his eyes and looked to where Willow had been standing, seeing that she was gone, and then looked back to where he had been talking before.

"Nice move, Sparky. You had her right here, all that power, all that darkness? And you just let her run? You're pathetic. Completely useless." Spike squeezed his eyes shut again, pounding his fists against his temples for a moment, and then opening them again, looking away from Warren and at the other figure.

"And you…What do you have to say?" He asked.

"Help her, and let her help you," she responded in a soft, sad voice.

"And what did I just do? And what more would I have done? I told him, I won't. I won't hurt her."

"She needs you now, needs your strengths, and you need her, her power. Help her, protect her and she will help you. Together, you can heal."

"She hurts since you went away," he responded quietly. "She needs you, not me."

"That is not to be. This is the way, and it must be you."

"I'm weak! They're all in here, tellin me, tellin me, hurt the girl. Hurt, kill, hurt, kill…Tell a child an apple is an orange long enough, and he'll begin to believe you. I'm a killer, a monster. She doesn't need me."

"You will be a champion, along with her," Tara whispered, before fading away.

~Part: 4~

Buffy and Dawn were at school. Xander was at work. Anya was…God only knew where Anya was. The shop most likely…Which meant that left Willow to vamp-sit their resident crazy demon. They had finally gotten him out of the basement, and he had eventually ended up at Buffy's house, along with the rest of the refugees. He was on the slightly more sane side now, which made understanding his occassional rants a lot easier. It sort of reminded Willow of when Spike first got the chip, except he wasn't chained up in the bathroom, and he wasn't being mean and snarky. Oh! And apparently he could kill them all now. Willow began to think that she missed the days of angry Spike.

She glanced around the wreckage that was Buffy's living room and sat down on the floor with her laptop. Funny. There was a time when she lived there and it was her real home. Willow was the head of the household. The grown up. Now, she mostly felt like a vagrant, given a room out of sympathy. She knew that Buffy and Dawn didn't see it that way, but still…

Willow should have been at school.  She was still trying to play catch up with her classes, and already she was unexcused-absence girl. It would be kind of hard to explain to her professors that she couldn't come to class because she had to stay with an insane vampire that was being manipulated by some unknown evil force that was threatening to devour the world. So, she was beginning to think that maybe she wouldn't be graduating in the spring as planned…or ever for that matter. After all, this evil…thing…they didn't have a clue what they were up against. The only thing she knew was that it wanted her dead, but she was guessing that thought wasn't exactly reserved merely for evil things.

They had done a pretty good job cleaning up the after math of Dawn's little visitation. It had been a night filled with ghostly conversations, and Willow knew that Dawn didn't fully believe that it wasn't her mother that had come to her.  She didn't really blame her. If she had actually seen Tara in the library, instead of the girl pretending to deliver a message, Willow would have believed it, too. Buffy never bothered to ask what the thing that talked to Willow said, and if she had, Willow wasn't sure of exactly how much she would have told her. She was pretty sure that she didn't want anyone to know that the First wanted her dead. That just didn't seem like the kind of news that you wanted spread around.

Hearing a door open upstairs, Willow looked over to see Spike coming down into the living room. She shivered a little nervously, wrapping her arms around herself as he walked in. She knew that she could defend herself if she had to, but that didn't mean that the house wouldn't crumble around them in the aftermath of her defense, or that she could guarantee the safe return of the vampire in one piece. She had put up a barrier, preventing him from leaving the house. It was kind of like a vampire needing to be invited in, only opposite, and intended to keep him from going out and killing again, should the First suddenly get the nifty idea to send him out to make minions once more.

The blond vampire unnerved her, soul or no soul. Knowing that he could attack was part of it. The way he looked at her, as if he could see everything she thought and felt? That was unsettling as well. Spike sat next to her, and Willow had to struggle to not move away. She looked down at the computer, not sure of how to act. A smile crept across her face as she thought about how proud of himself the old Spike would have been to see her now. The old, soulless, demony Spike would have gotten the biggest kick out of knowing that he could scare her again. But this one…this one just gave her a sad look of apology.

"Something funny, Red?"

She shook her head at his voice, it reminding her of what she was dealing with- A souled vampire that could be talked into biting her in a heartbeat. Her smile quickly faded.

Standing up, Willow wearily made her way into the kitchen.  After pouring herself some coffee and replacing the pot with a shaking hand, Willow glanced behind her to be sure no one was around. Satisfied that she was alone, she quickly slipped a small bottle of whiskey from her sweater pocket and poured a generous amount into the mug.  Quickly recapping the bottle, she sighed as she slipped it back into her pocket.

"Red?" The accented voice made her jump, nearly spilling her drink. "What have you got there?"

"Uh, Spike, I, uh, was just getting a drink…some, um, coffee."  Her eyes darted nervously around the room before coming to a rest on the mug in her trembling hands.

"How about you be a good girl and share a little?" He said, holding out his mug of blood.  She looked at him in confusion.

"Uh, you want coffee in your blood?  Is that really a good combo? `Cause…"

Leaning down, he whispered in her ear, his voice husky and low, with just a bit of amusement.  "I can smell the whiskey, pet."

She blushed and turned away.  Reaching back into her pocket she grabbed the small bottle and thrust her arm out backwards without looking. He took the offered object, and added the rest of the contents to his drink.

"I…I just," she started turning back around, but still did not look at him. "It just…"

"Takes the edge off," he finished.  She nodded, her sad, green eyes meeting his tired blue ones before they both headed back into the remains of the living room.

It was several minutes before the deadly silence was finally broken, Spike choosing to speak.

"What did it say to you?" He questioned. She looked at him, seeing the pain in her eyes reflected in his own. She tried to shrug and act as nonchalant as possible.

"To stop the magic or I'd kill everyone," she said matter-of-factly, looking away.

"Why didn't you believe it? How did you know it wasn't true?"

The redhead continued to look away, knowing that her face, her eyes would betray her. "It said other things, and I…I just knew."

"How?" He sounded almost desperate to know, and she couldn't deny him the answer. Looking up, she knew he could see the tears in her eyes. It was the first time that she had told anyone.

"It…it said that it was Tara. That she…she wanted me to kill myself, to save the world, and I could be with her." His eyes widened at her confession, and though she had said all she needed or intended to, Willow suddenly seemed unable to stop the flow of words, or the flow of tears.

"It told me that she could see me, see all I'd done, and that she was singing to me, even though I couldn't hear her." At that, she let out a deep sigh, wiping at the tears and closing her eyes before yawning and leaning back against the couch.

"And you didn't believe it?"

Willow shook her head. "I knew that Tara would never tell me to do that. The First…It was trying to tell me that I wouldn't be able to control the magic, that I'd kill everyone."

"You know, that was just to try and stop you. Means you can hurt it," Spike told her.

"I know what it was trying to do. It was trying to scare me, but…but what if it was telling the truth? I…I mean, maybe it doesn't even know it's the truth, but what if it is?" Spike gave her a questioning look and Willow sighed. "What if I lose control? What if I try to use the power to help, and I can't control it, and it takes over…and…and what if I…"

"Won't happen," he said simply, shaking his head.

Willow gave him a doubtful look, before glancing back down at her hands in her lap.

"Red, you are the strongest of all of us. You have more strength and power and courage and compassion than everyone else combined, and when the time comes, you're going to be bloody amazing."

Willow shook her head, fighting the tears.  "You don't know, Spike," she said with a small sob. "You don't know what it's like, to feel so much power, and to know…it could break free, and you could lose control at any moment. I can feel it, right at the edge, pushing, and every time I need to use it, I feel my resolve slipping. You're wrong, I'm not strong, and I couldn't hurt them…I just couldn't…"

The vampire wrapped an arm around the redhead and shushed her. "Red, I understand, more than you know," he whispered, and she leaned back a bit, still in his embrace, looking up at his face.  "You ARE strong. Look at all you've been through, and still you come out on top. Every day I have to battle with my demon, fight what I am, and if I, weak, book-wormy, unassuming William can fight my demon, then surely you can fight yours. What doesn't kill you, love, it makes you stronger."

"I used to believe that," she replied quietly. "But now…now I'm thinking that…sometimes what doesn't kill you just leave you to slowly bleed to death."

"Maybe for some, but not for you, Red. You are strong, believe me."

"But I feel so weak," she whispered.

"Then maybe we need to help each other, lean on one another, help each other with this whole redemption thing," Spike suggested, remembering what Tara had told him. "You lean on me, I lean on you, we pull from each other's strength, yeah?"

Willow nodded with a slight smile. "Yeah, I think I could do that," she mumbled through a yawn.

"You should sleep, pet," Spike stated quietly.

She knew she must look awful, having not really slept in days. "I…I really shouldn't. I can't," she stammered, struggling to sit up, but Spike pulled her back into him and shushed her.

"Red, I'll tell you what. Anyone at all comes to talk to me, I'll wake you up straight away. Alright? Even if it's just some Bible salesman, I won't listen to a word till I wake you up. Last thing I want is to hurt you." She heard the sincerity in his words and knew, too, that he was probably desperate to feel needed, and to know that she was not afraid of him, which strangely enough, she no longer was. And so, she settled back against his chest as he leaned against the couch, and let him lull her to sleep with soft, whispered words and a hand gently stroking her hair, and for a few moments she was able to relax, with no one watching, waiting for her to break.

~Part: 5~

"Hold it.  Let's start right there."

Xander turned toward the door, only to stop upon seeing a still unmoving vampire looking past him at the redhead.

"What?" He turned and looked back at Willow, who was reassembling her spell ingredients. RJ needed her. He needed her to show him how much she loved him, even if he was a boy. Of course, no one seemed to think it too strange that she was suddenly in love with a guy. They all thought it was some silly spell, but she knew better. This love was real, even if she didn't know him that well, and he was kinda young, and yeah, okay...a guy.

"Willow, look, you really need to stop this. It's a spell, and…"

"I know," she smiled proudly at him. "It's a spell to make him a her, and then…"

"No! No `and then' anything," Xander interrupted, covering his ears with his hands and closing his eyes. Not hearing Spike clearing his throat, he jumped when the vampire grabbed his shoulder.

"Still got the whole Slayer ganna kill the principal thing, remember?" Willow rolled her eyes. Apparently Buffy thought that the best way to show RJ that she loved him was to kill his principal. Yeah, like THAT was going to work.

"Yeah, I…" Xander glanced over again at the redhead on the floor. "I… don't want to just leave her, and I'm thinking that taking crazy, love-sick wicca girl with us is really not a good idea.  I…"

"Alright, look, you go find Buffy and I'll stay and look after Red," Spike grumbled with a sigh.

Xander glanced nervously again at his friend before finally conceding. "Anything happens to her…" He glared at the vampire who simply rolled his eyes and pulled out a cigarette.

"Yeah, yeah, heard all the threats before, now go before the Slayer chops her boss into little bits."

Xander nodded and took off out the door, leaving the blond vampire staring down at a frustrated witch.

"You know, Spike, you really don't need to stay here with me," Willow told him, as she put the last of her spell ingredients away in her trunk. He raised an eyebrow at her as he watched, seated on her bed. "Really, I mean, you know…I think you guys were right.  I think it was some kind of spell.  I mean what was I thinking?  Being all in love with a boy…a-and with the spell and all…But I'm feeling much better now, so you really don't have to stay."

Spike stared at her for a moment before breaking out into a smile and shaking his head.

"Not fooling anyone, witch. I turn my back on you and you'll be tryin that spell again faster than I can blink."

"No, I swear, really…no more being in love with the…nice, cute…uh… stupid…boy," she said, looking up at him hopefully.

"Well then, I guess you won't mind if I just hang around for a little while," he replied with a smirk. Her hopeful smile turned quickly to a frown and she stomped her foot.

"Damn," she grumbled. "Stupid vampire. Y-you know, I could still use that spell on YOU."

The amusement disappeared from his face and he scowled at her. "Don't even think about it, witch."

"You know, I DO have a real, actual name, SPIKE," she shot back, hands on her hips. "Or is it that you just aren't capable of actually remembered it?"

"I'm well aware of your name, Red," he shot back, purposely trying to further piss her off. "And enough with the pouting already. It's not a good look on you." Actually, that wasn't true. It was a perfect look on the redhead, but Spike wasn't about to tell her that.

Continuing with the scowl on her face, she walked over to the bed and flopped down next to him.

"Well, at least I have someone to talk to for a while, even if it is an insane vampire," she mumbled.

"What are you talking about?  You have upir whole little gang to talk to anytime you like."

She shook her head, sadly looking down.  "They…they still aren't… normal with me.  Ever since…I came back…They still seem uneasy, and they won't talk about a lot of stuff.  I'm still not really back in the group, unless they need some special research help or something. I mean, I know I deserve no less, but…"

"Yeah, I know the feeling," he said, looking away in thought for a moment, before looking back at her. "I'm sorry I wasn't here to help you," he said quietly.

Her head shot up and she looked at him in surprise.

"I…don't think I ever told you, but I really am sorry about what happened. Your witch…she was a good lady, and I'm sorry I wasn't here to help you…after."  He saw her face soften as he spoke and hoped she wouldn't start crying.  Couldn't bare to see a woman in tears.  "I know it doesn't mean much, coming from an evil…thing, like me, `specially all the times I tried to kill you, but…"

"Spike, you might be evil…or sort of evil, or something, but…even though, yeah you might have tried to kill me a couple times…hey, who hasn't attempted murder now and again?"  She smiled weakly at him. "But I'm pretty sure you also saved my life a bunch of times, too, and I don't think you would have been so much helping me as you would have been trying to take me out," she said, looking down.

"Why would you think that?" He asked in surprise.

"Spike, I tried to kill Dawn, and then I tried to kill Buffy, and you're trying to tell me that you wouldn't have gone after me if you had been here?"

He shook his head.  "I wouldn't have, really," he caught her eyes in a sincere stare. "I would never have tried to kill you.  I would have tried to stop you, and to help you, and most likely gotten myself turned into a nice, big pile of dust for my troubles, but…I wouldn't have tried to kill you."

She eyed him suspiciously. "That's just the soul talking," she said quietly.  He stared at her, not answering.  She could see the truth in his eyes.

"Why?" She asked, feeling her lips tremble a little.

"Because…I know what it's like, to love someone so much, and to lose control…to be out of your mind with the pain and anguish…I know what it's like."

She looked up at him with a weak smile, and nodded sadly. It appeared that she and Spike really did have a lot in common, and while it might seem strange to be glad about relating to a demon, she was extremely thankful for it.

~Part: 6~

The fiasco with the magical, lust-inducing jacket was over and done with, thankfully, and Willow had moved on to one of the new potentials, Kennedy. Actually, Kennedy had been the one to do all the moving, practically cornering Willow every chance she got, and dragging her into flirty conversations, whether she liked it or not. While the redhead was reluctant at first, she eventually found herself beginning to let go, and allowed this new girl into her heart, however guarded it remained. There were still things, of course, that Kennedy didn't know, like the voices that still paid visits when no one else was around. No one else really knew about that, other than Spike. She remained silent on that topic, willing the voices away each time they came calling.

"So for now, what?  We just sit and wait?  We go back to waiting for The First to come up with some exciting new way to kill us?" Dawn paced back and forth in front of her sister, impatiently.

"No, we just bought ourselves some time until we figure out how to defeat this thing."

"But, Buffy, you know what Giles said.  It can't be defeated."

"Ok, well, so technically it can't be defeated, but I've come up against it before and stopped it, so we just have to figure out how and do it again."

"Yeah, well last time seemed a little easier.  Just keep Angel from killing you or himself and evil is averted.  This time is sounding much harder.  It's attacking from all sides."

"Look, Dawn, I know.  I don't have all the answers, but we will defeat it, or stop it, or whatever it is we have to do to it.  Ok?"

Dawn nodded and sat back down opening a book on her lap.  A few seconds later, the door opened and both of the Summers girls looked up to see Willow walking in.

"You know, I think the neighbors are starting to wonder about this house, what with the massive amounts of people coming in and out, a- and with the boarded up windows and, well, the constant nightly attacks," Willow stated with a lopsided smile.

"Gee, only seven years of vandalism, attacks and strange paranormal activity, and the neighbors are finally taking notice," Buffy pondered.  "Makes you really love the citizens of Sunnydale and their ability to be completely oblivious."

Willow smiled and looked up toward the stairs before looking back at Buffy.  "Is Kennedy around?"

Buffy's smile widened and she sat up a little straighter.  "She's downstairs, training with Spike and Xander.  So what's up with you two, anyway?  You seem pretty tight lately."

"What?  Oh, no…no…tightness, really.  Very…loose.  She just…we're just friends.  She's nice to talk to…sometimes."  She said. `When she isn't trying to seduce me, that is,' the witch added in her head.

"Uh huh," Buffy simply responded, clearly unconvinced and still smiling broadly.

"I think it's sweet.  I think you'd make a cute couple," Dawn told her.

Willow rolled her eyes.  "Really, guys, nothing's going on.  With everything that's been happening lately, haven't really had a whole lot of time to pursue romantic involvements, and even if I did, it's still too soon after…"

The slayer raised her hands in surrender.  "Hey, I'm not trying to be pushy-girl.  I'm all for the taking time to heal thing.  It just seems like you guys have a little…chemistry, that's all."

"Yeah," Dawn chimed in, "and the way she was all concerned that the big bad vamp guy was hurting you when you were holding up the barrier against it?  I'm just saying…it was sweet."

Willow shuddered, remembering when she had tried to fight off the Turok-Han. Up until then, she had thought that regular vampires were difficult to fight, but these new super-vamps…they made the regular, garden-variety seem, well, sorta tame. That thought bled through to another recent memory, when The First had turned her magic around on her, getting inside her head. Willow could remember the sheer evil running through her. It had terrified the witch, and afterwards, she had begged Buffy to not make her use the magic again. Of course, that didn't last long. Her power was needed, and Willow had never been able to deny her friends. She just hoped that her help wouldn't leave them all dead and gone in the end.

Just then, Giles walked into the room, interrupting the conversation, much to Willow's relief.  She was still so confused and unsure about her own feelings for Kennedy…she definitely wasn't ready to talk about it with anyone else yet. Well, almost anyone. She and Spike had talked about it a little bit. The First had captured the blond, sliced him up pretty good, bled him quite a bit. Finally, Buffy had managed to rescue him, and he was slowly healing. The slayer had brought him back, tending to the most severe wounds, before leaving him in the basement to sleep. A few hours later, Willow had slipped down to check on him.

"How are you?" She asked softly.

"Been better," he told her honestly, sitting up a bit on the cot. Willow moved forward and gingerly sat next to him.

"I was worried about you," she told him, her voice barely above a whisper.

Spike smiled softly. "No need to worry `bout me. I can handle myself just fine."

"I can see that," she replied, giving him a knowing look and rolling her eyes. "Did it…did you…did you hear the voices again?" She asked tentatively. Spike raised an eyebrow at her question. He had suspected that there were things she wasn't saying, and that perhaps he wasn't the only one that The First was tormenting on a regular basis.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Saw and heard quite a bit."

"Do they…do they taunt you?"

"Do they taunt YOU?" He responded, causing the redhead to lean back a bit nervously.

"I don't…They aren't…What do you mean?"

"Come on, Will," he pushed. "You gonna tell me The First isn't exercising it's visitation rights with you, same as me? You gonna sit there and pretend that it doesn't whisper nasty little suggestions to you now and again? It wasn't just the one time in the library, was it?"

Willow shook her head. No point in denying it.  "What does it look like to you?"

Spike shrugged. "Changes a lot. Sometimes it's Drusilla, sometimes it's The Master, ugly bastard that he was, sometimes it's that crazy hell god, Glory, and sometimes…it's Buffy."

Willow's eyes widened slightly. "Really? Buffy? I didn't know that… Sometimes…I think I see Tara…but it's only for a second…Just a split second, and then she's gone."

"She's watching over you," he told her softly. "Talked to her, just once, and only for a minute. Was a little less sane then, but the message was still pretty clear."

"You saw her? What...what did she say?"

"Said we needed to take care of one another. Something about being champions."

"I don't really feel much like a champion," Willow told him.

Spike chuckled, wincing at the pain in his ribs. "That's what I said." He closed his eyes for a moment, willing the pain away as he shifted a little.

"You're still hurt," Willow stated. "I should go and…"

"No, stay," he interrupted quickly, pulling the retreated redhead back down beside him and wincing again. "It's…it's better when you're here."

Willow nodded, biting her lower lip. "At least let me do a little healing spell on you."

"Won't have to ask me twice," he responded, watching as she held her hands above his abdomen and closed her eyes, chanting softly. He closed his eyes as well, and a moment later, Spike felt the pain disappear. Looking up again, he reaching out and took the witch's hands in his own, breaking her concentration and stopping her spell. Willow cracked an eye open, giving him a disgruntled look.

"All better," he assured her, bringing a smile to her face. "Thank you."

Willow's smile broadened and she sat back next to him, allowing the vampire to sling an arm over her shoulder.

"So, how are you?" She asked. "Other than the physical stuff, which, thanks to the magnificence that is me, is all taken care of." She gave him a lopsided smile, causing the blond to chuckle before sighing.

"Feelin a little cocky now, are we?" He teased, before adding, "She doesn't love me," his voice quieter at that confession.

Willow nodded. "Finally figured that out, huh?" Her voice was soft and sympathetic.

"Yeah, well, I can be surprisingly thick about some things," he replied.

"Try telling me something I don't know," the redhead stated, rolling her eyes.

Spike gave her a warning glance before changing the subject. "How about you and that new slayer? You seem to be gettin pretty close."

Willow shrugged, suddenly looking uncomfortable. "She's nice, a-and funny, and she likes me, and that's great, but…"

"Tara," he finished.

"Yeah, I just…I'm not ready to love someone again. Not like that. I'm not even sure I want to, and I mean, Tara was the only girl I was ever with. I don't know how to really act around Kennedy."

"Just give it time," he told her. "No one expects you to forget about Tara. You won't, but don't push this one away, just because you're afraid. Let her in. You have a lot to give. Just gotta find someone deserving."

"You too, Spike," Willow replied. "You have a lot to give, too." Spike began to shake his head no, but she quickly stopped him. "I mean it. You've changed. You really have, and maybe Buffy isn't the right one, but just wait…the right girl, she'll find you, and she'll appreciate all that love and passion."

"Thanks, pet," the vampire replied, his voice catching in his throat as he pulled the redhead closer, hoping beyond hope that she was right. "And if not, I can always fall back on my devilishly handsome good looks and charm."

~*~

"Buffy, I just got off the phone with one of my contacts.  It seems there is some major apocalyptic activity occurring in Los Angeles right now," Giles told her.

"Apocalyptic as in…"

"As in the apocalypse. End of the world?  I think you might have heard of it before," he said with a roll of his eyes.

"Ok, well L.A. is pretty much Angel's territory, right?  I'm sure it's nothing he can't handle.  I mean it's not like none of us has ever had to avert an apocalypse before, and especially with everything we're facing here, right now…why are you telling me this?"

"Because, I believe that what they are facing there and what we are facing here are connected.  The First…it has been attacking across the globe, and I don't believe that an apocalypse just happens to be beginning only a few hours away by sheer coincidence. Not to mention that the last time The First was here, it was attempting to use Angel as a weapon, and we can not rule out that it would not be attacking Angel now, or that it doesn't have intentions of using him again, much in the same way it has been using and manipulating Spike. Whatever is happening in LA, what ever they are fighting against, it is winning, and I think they are in need of your help there."

"What's all this about L.A. now?" Xander questioned as he entered the living room, followed by Kennedy and Spike.

"Hey, how was training?" Willow asks, as Kennedy walked over to her and gave her hand a small, inconspicuous squeeze.

"That girl is an animal," Xander responded.  "A killing machine. Nearly took me down.  Well, okay, took me down several times, and nearly knocked me out…a second time," he said, holding his side and rubbing the back of his head for emphasis.

"She's doing good then, huh?" Buffy questioned.

"Could give you a small run for your money, I'd wager," Spike answered with a grin.  "Girl's tough.  Solid fighter."

Willow smiled with pride at Kennedy, who was frowning slightly.  "Don't you love how they talk about me like I'm not here? Maybe you should just start spelling out the big words," she says, glaring at Spike and Buffy.

"Hey, now," Spike responded, "was paying you a compliment. The proper response would be a thank you…and bowing down a bit wouldn't hurt either."  Kennedy merely rolled her eyes and glared at him.

"Uh, if we could get back to the issue at hand," Giles interceded.

"Oh, right, big nasty in L.A.," Buffy recapped.  "Giles thinks I should go and help Angel fight it."

"Now?" Xander asked in alarm.  "Right now?  Is that really a good idea, what with The First Evil trying to kill us and all?  Is this really the time to be sending Buffy away?"

"Well, actually, I was thinking that you should all go.  They can use all the help they can get, fighting this…whatever it is they are fighting, and we have bought ourselves a bit of time, however short, so there is little more to do here right now but wait as it is."

"What about research?"  Willow asked.

"Yeah, I mean, I can't believe I'm saying this, but shouldn't we all be locked down with the books and the research while we have the time?" Xander questioned.

"Well, we've pretty much exhausted the resources I have here, and Wesley might have information there that may prove useful.  The bottom line is that whatever we are up against, whether separate or connected, we stand a better chance as a larger unified group than we do fighting separately," Giles explained.

"He's right," Buffy admitted.  "They need our help, and it wouldn't hurt to have them giving us a hand either, and if whatever is happening there is connected to what is happening here, we stand a better chance fighting it together."  Everyone else slowly nodded in agreement.

"Alright, it's nearly sunset, so I suggest you all pack quickly and leave as soon as night falls.  I will stay behind, continuing with what research I can do here, along with training the new girls and waiting on any more word from my contacts.  If I hear anything, I'll let you all know right away."

"What about me?" Kennedy questioned.  "Can I go with?  I mean, you heard what they said, I'm a kick ass fighter, and the more the better, right?"

"I don't know…" Giles began before Buffy interrupted.

"I think it's a good idea.  She's moved far beyond the other girls, and she could be a help to us."  Finally Giles agreed, though clearly not happy about it.

"If you feel she is becoming more of a liability than a help, or is putting herself in too much danger, send her home at once."

"Again with the talking about me like I'm not here," Kennedy grumbled to Willow, who smiled sympathetically and squeezed her hand.

~Part: 7~

"Angel, man, all I'm sayin is that we should be sticking together right now.  Not fighting each other."

"Right, and you and Wesley have been best pals throughout this whole thing, right?"

"Well, that's different, and as much as he might not be my favorite guy, I'm still fighting along side him when I have to."

"Look, Cordy and Conner are fine.  They are together, and they both know how to take care of themselves."

"Angel, Gunn may have a point," Wesley interjected.  "This beast seems to be somehow connected to your son, and it appears as though he is going after Conner.  It would seem to be in everyone's best interest that Conner be here, with us, if or when the beast does come after him."

"Look, I'm not worrying about that right now, alright?  We still don't even know how to defeat this thing, so we aren't going to be able to do a hell of a lot of good for Conner just now, are we? Besides, I'm a little more preoccupied with the hundreds of walking zombies this thing keeps leaving in its wake."

"All the more reason to be going after the beast itself, isn't it?" Fred asked quietly.

"We go after that thing when we know how to fight it.  Until then, we lay low, fight off as many of the zombies as we can, and research like hell."  With that, Angel swung open the front door to the hotel, and the small, worn out group of fighters entered the lobby. The last thing that Angel wanted to think about just then was Cordelia and his son. Second on his list of unmentionables...the Beast that had so recently kicked his ass.

"Well, now, if I'm not mistaked, you would be the slayer.  And, hey, you brought along some groupies," Gunn commented, as he was the first one to look up and spot the group of people sitting in the middle of the lobby.

"Buffy?" Angel looked up, stunned to see the group from Sunnydale.  "What are you doing here?"

"We came to help," she told him.

"Yeah, well I don't recall asking for your help," Angel stated gruffly, just as Buffy stepped up closer to him.

"Look, we don't have a lot of time for the witty repertoire, what with all of L.A. burning down around us, so let's say we skip the friendly banter and get to the slaying of evil demons.  Now I'm thinking we go in, all of us, heavily armed, and…"

"Buffy, we've been through this," Angel interrupted, rubbing his eyes and looking clearly pissed off at the world.  "This is my city, and we don't always do things your way, following your command.  In fact, we don't need you here.  I don't need you…and what the hell is HE doing here?"  He pointed at Spike, a murderous look in his eyes.

"He's one of the good guys," Dawn explained.  "He has a soul now, and he's helping us.  Well, except for when The First is manipulating him into killing and turning people…"

"What, do those things come standard issue with vampires now?" Gunn asked.

"You don't want us here?  Fine.  We'll just wait for it to come to Sunnydale.  I'm sure after it demolishes the city, it will head on over to the hellmouth," Buffy stated, glaring angrily at Angel, her hands on her hips.

After a long moment of silence, Angel finally let out a deep sigh in frustration.  "Fine.  I suppose we can use all the help we can get. So far we haven't been able to make a dent in this thing."

"What is it exactly?"

"Don't know.  Some kind of hell beast.  Don't know where it came from, don't know how to kill it.  It's murdering by the hundreds, and leaving a path of zombies where ever it goes."

"Zombies?  Did he just say zombies?" Xander asked in fear.

"They'll eat your flesh, but are extremely dim-witted, and not hard to kill.  Simple beheading will do the trick, and they are easily distracted," Anya supplied rather cheerfully.

"And I thought I was supposed to worry about the pollution in the city.  Turns out it's flesh-eatting zombies and a constant rain of fire.  Hmmm, amazing the things they leave out of travel brochures."

"It sort of reminds me of Spiderman number one hundred and…" Andrew began, before his voice trailed off, seeing everyone stare at him.

"Who's this?" Angel questioned with an arched eyebrow.

"Andrew," Anya responded.

"I am a huge fan," Andrew told him, walking up to the dark-haired vampire, grabbing his hand and shaking it heartily. "Fighting for your redemption, protecting the good. You should have your own comic book, really. I myself know what it's like to be on the rocky road of redemption, and…"

"Who is this?" Angel asked again, his voice an octave higher as he looked toward Buffy, pulling his hand away from the young man.

"Tucker's brother," Buffy stated.

"Huh?" Angel still looked confused.

"The guy who send the hell hounds to the prom," Xander supplied.

"Hey, you know, I did my fair share of…" Again, Andrew stopped, this time seeing Willow and Anya both glaring at him. "I'll be quiet now."

"What is he doing here?" Angel asked.

"Long story. He was being manipulated into killing people," Buffy explained.

"And you thought it would be a good idea to bring him along?"

"If I left him home, Giles would have killed him. Trust me," Buffy told him with a roll of her eyes.  "So what is this beast thing doing here?" She questioned, desperately wanting to change the subject.

"Not entirely sure.  It seems to possibly have a connection with Angel's son, but…" Wesley began, before being interrupted by a loud chorus of  "Angel's son?"

"Uh, yeah, that… Darla and I…we sort of had a son," Angel explained, not looking Buffy in the eye.

"A vampire son?"

"No, the human kind.  He was taken to an alternate dimension by…an enemy of mine, and returned a few days later, but fifteen years older."

"Wow," was all Buffy could muster.

"Yeah, I know, it's a lot to take in," Angel said quietly.  "We don't know what the exact connection with Conner…his name is Conner…and the Beast is, but there seems to be one.  The only thing I do know is that the Beast was able to suck the life out of a very old, very evil entity.  I'm thinking it's preying on powerful magical sources."

Kennedy gave Willow a worried look and Willow tried to shrug it off.

"Anything else?"

"Nope.  We haven't really had a chance to do any research on it yet."

"Well, then I guess we can start there."

~*~

As the sun began to rise, Angel, Fred and Gunn showed their visitors to their rooms, after many exhausting hours of researching, and finding nothing. Angel knocks softly and entered Buffy's room, carrying a few sheet and blankets.

"Sorry the accommodations aren't better," he said quietly.  "Wasn't really prepared for guests."

"Sorry to be any trouble," she replied awkwardly, looking down as he handed her the blankets.

"I'm glad you guys are here, Buffy. I am," the vampire assured her. "I'm sorry if I acted…"

"Like an ass?" She supplied.

"Yeah," he replied sheepishly, looking down.

"Things seem…kinda tense here," she told him.

"Yeah, well, getting your ass kicked repeatedly by an unstoppable, evil hell beast will do that to you," he said wryly.

"Yeah, tell me about it," the slayer responded.

"So, things must be slow on the hellmouth for a change, huh?" He asked, wanting to change the subject.

"Hardly," she told him.  "Remember our old buddy, The First Evil?" He nodded.  "Well, it's back…with a vengeance.  It's trying to wipe out the entire Slayer line, which apparently it can do now, thanks to my death and rising act I like to do so much."

"Then, why are you here?"

"Knew you needed us, and Giles insisted it was alright for us to take a small break from fighting that unstoppable evil, in order to come help you fight your unstoppable evil."  She smiled slightly at him.

"Well, we've been through worse," he commented.

"That we have.  After last year, with the coming back from heaven and everything after, and then Tara and Willow…I thought after that I could handle anything."

"Yeah…Willow seems to be doing much better now," Angel noted.

"She's healing, slowly, and learning to control the magic.  She has power beyond anything I've ever seen, but she's still a little fearful about unleashing it.

"Understandable, but it may come in handy now.  Hope she can handle it if we need her."

"Still our good, old Willow.  Still always ready to jump in and help in any way she can," Buffy told him, sounding a little sad and wistful. "She's healing.  We all are."

Angel nodded in understanding.  "One more thing I gotta ask about. Spike…a soul?"

This time Buffy nodded, looking up at him with a tired, worn expression.  "It's a long story, and not entirely mine to tell, but basically he went off to get a soul, thinking that I would love him if he had one."

"Do you?"

Buffy paused, seriously thinking over the question.  "I'm not in love with him.  I don't think I ever could be.  But I do care about him. He's trying really hard to be good now, to do good, and it's commendable, and it's been so hard for him.  The First has been manipulating him, and it's costing him his sanity."

"I'm sure part of that is the demon rejecting the soul, and the soul dealing with all the demon has done in the last century," Angel added.

Buffy nodded.  "Maybe you could talk to him.  You're probably the only one that can understand what he's going through."

Angel said nothing, and seemed to be pondering what she had told him, when he suddenly blurt out, "I'm in love with Cordelia."  Buffy's eyes went wide in shock and she simply stared at him, her mouth slightly open.  "I'm in love with her, and just before I had the chance to tell her, the powers-that-be took her away, and when she came back, she didn't remember anything, including me, and then when she did, not only did she remember how we felt about each other, she remembered everything I had done in the last 250 years, including all the horror Angelus inflicted, and then I saw her…sleeping with my son." Buffy blinked. Once. Twice. Wow. Turns out Angel could babble as much as Willow.

"Sleeping with, as in…"

"As in the kind of sleeping that doesn't actually involve sleep…the kind I can't do with her," he explained sadly.  Buffy was shocked, to say the least, and was at a completely loss for words.  Finally she simply leaned forward and hugged him.

"Angel, I'm so sorry," she whispered, as he allowed her to wrap her arms around him in comfort.

                        *      *      *      *      *       * "Well this room seems cozy."

"Uh huh."

"Nice, antique furniture, and, I mean look at this mirror," Willow commented, as she walked past a hanging mirror, brushing dust off the top and watching it sway.

"Yeah, I still think it's a little creepy to be staying in the home of a vampire.  Even if it is a hotel, and even if he does have a soul, it's still creepy," Kennedy told her.  "Not to mention…Why are there so many mirrors in the home of a guy with no reflection."

"I think he keeps them around to remind him to brood, in case he forgets for a few hours, and then he'll suddenly catch his lack of reflection and be like, oh yeah, forgot, I'm supposed to be feeling all sad and mopey," Willow said while absent-mindly nudging the mirror and watching it sway back and forth.  Noticing there was something behind it, she pulled it aside.  "Hey look!  A hidden wall safe.  Oh, and the key is still in it.  Goody!  I can keep some of the more potent magic ingredients in there," she stated, pulling out the key and tying it around her neck.

Kennedy noticed the way Willow avoided her gaze as she made her way to the bed and sat on the far edge. "You know, we didn't have to share a room, if you aren't comfortable.  I mean, there are, like, a hundred empty rooms in this place, if you'd rather…"

"No, I like having you here," Willow assured her.

"You sure?"

Willow nodded and looked down at the small pile of magic supplies at her feet, remember what Spike had said...give someone a chance to move into her heart. "You make the silence less…noisy."

Kennedy smiled at her words.  "Good, `cause I like to be the one to fill your silence," she whispered, just before leaning over and placing a soft, chaste kiss on the redheads lips.

~Part: 8~

"This is the dumbest plan I've ever heard."

"Buffy, this isn't your decision."

"It's ridiculous! It's like me saying `hey, look, a big demon to kill. I think I'll go on vacation! But first, let me introduce you to my evil twin.' It's stupid!"

"It's not stupid, Buffy," Angel argued. "Angelus knows how to kill this thing. I know he does."

"The guy is inside of you!" Xander shouted. "He's you! I've been saying this for years. YOU know the answer."

"It doesn't exactly work that way," Angel explained. "There are certain memories of when I didn't have the soul that I can't access."

"And I'm sure he'll be just dying to help us," the slayer responded, rolling her eyes and crossing her arms.

"I'm not sure about the help part, but I'm definitely seeing some dying figuring into the equation," Xander stated. Angel turned and glared at the young man.

"You're creating another enemy for us to fight, and taking away a warrior," Buffy argued.

"Buffy, I'm doing this," Angel stated firmly. "That's all there is to it."

"How? How are you going to lose your soul? Because if you think that you and I are going to…"

"Willow," he interrupted.

Buffy raised an eyebrow, her body stiffening slightly. "Willow? You're going to sleep with Willow? Over my dead body!"

"Not sleep with, Buff," Willow explained quickly, a slight blush on her face. She glanced around the room, avoiding the dark haired vampire's gaze. "Gay lady standin right here. Angel's just a little too y-chromosomey for my liking." Turning toward Kennedy, she smiled as the younger girl squeezed her hand and smiled.  "I'm going to do a spell to remove the soul. We'll put it in a safe place. After he defeats The Beast, I'll just pop it right back in, good as new."

"You can do that?" Spike questioned.

"Yep. It's actually pretty easy," she told him. "Just have to trick Angel's mind into thinking he's experiencing prefect happiness."

"So, we take away the soul, and then what?" Anya questioned. "I mean, even if he does get rid of The Beast, how do we contain Angelus."

"Oh! Well, when Superman had to contain Lex Luther, in episode…" Andrew began, but quickly stopped at the numerous glares.

"Someone remind me of why you brought him?" Angel mumbled.

"Containment's ready to go," Gunn explained. "Got a cage all set up in the basement."

"You just happen to have a cage handy, able to hold a vicious vampire?" Dawn asked.  Wesley and Gunn just glanced at each other and shrugged.

"When does this exciting plan take form?" Buffy questioned.

"Tonight."

~*~

"You really think this is a good idea?"

"Spike, get out," Angel growled as Spike stopped in the doorway to his room.

"I remember the last time Angelus was loose. A bit of an insane prick, if I recall correctly," Spike told him.

"We don't have any other options, Spike," Angel growled. "Believe me, this is not my favorite idea."

"Seems a little selfish and cowardly, if you ask me," the blond told him.

Angel looked up from the book on his desk, glaring at the younger vampire. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Fight gets to be a little too much, can't take the burden of that pesky soul anymore, your son is shacking up with your girl…"

"Shut up," Angel interrupted with a deep growl.

"I'm just sayin…Sounds like you're taking the easy way out," Spike told him, leaning against the doorframe and lighting a cigarette.

"The easy way out? You think this is easy? Ripping my soul from my body, by choice, and letting HIM loose…You think that's easy?" Angel chuckled bitterly and shook his head. "You never change, Spike."

"Me? Could say the same for you," Spike countered. "The brooding act only takes you so far, and then what? You finally give in and let the evil out to play for a while. I mean, let's be honest, mate. I know how it feels, I know what it's like, to feel the demon fighting for control. Bet it feels damn good to let him out to play now and again, no consequences when it's all over. After all, it wasn't YOUR fault."

"YOU have no idea what you're talking about," Angel yelled, shoving his chair back as he stood up and slammed his fist on the desk.

"Oh, don't I?" The blond vampire chuckled and tried to look as carefree as possible.

"No, Spike, you have no idea," Angel told him, as he moved around the desk and stood in front of the younger demon, coming nearly chest to chest with him, and speaking in a low, deep voice. "You go off and win yourself a soul, sit and moan in a basement for a few days, and suddenly you think you know what it's all about. You have no idea. I'm a champion for the powers. I spent over a century dealing with my guilt and remorse. You spent a week. Not exactly the same thing."

"What can I say, Angelus? You always had to take the round about way with everything? Always had to play your damn little games, fuck with everyone around you, push everyone away. I prefer the more direct route." Spike told him, blowing smoke in Angel's face.

With a movement so fast that Spike barely saw it, Angel grabbed the cigarette, dropping it to the ground, and gripped Spike's neck tightly, slamming him against the wall, his vampire features coming forward.

"There he is!" Spike laughed. "Knew the bastard was closer to the surface than you were letting on."

Angel released the blond and took a step back, willing his human mask back into place. "You know nothing about me, Spike. And you can pretend all you like, but you'll never change. Soul or no soul, you are still a murderous bastard."

Spike felt as though he had been slapped in the face, and turned, ready to walk away, unwilling to allow the brunette to see that his words had affected him.

"It didn't help, did it?" Angel asked. "She still doesn't love you, does she? See…that's the thing. The reason it could never work with her and I? It wasn't my soul that was the problem. It was the demon. Doesn't matter what mask you wear, the demon will ALWAYS be there, and that's the part that she'll never be able to see past."

Watching Spike walk away, Angel let out a deep, unnecessary sigh. The words meant for Spike stung the dark haired vampire as well, but he knew they needed to be said. Now was not the time for Spike to be going soft. He hoped that if and when the time came, Spike would be willing and able to take Angelus down.

~Part: 9~

Spike stormed down the hall, tears burning his eyes as he clenched his fists at his sides. He knew that Angel was right, but that didn't mean that the words were any easier to hear. The truth was, he had already begun to accept the fact that Buffy would never love him, but that still left him lost and alone. With the chip, he didn't feel that he could truly be a vampire, and he knew that he could never be a man, but somehow he had deluded himself into believing that a soul would make him worthy…worthy of her love, worthy of humanity, but he knew now that such things were impossible. He was a demon, a thing, whether he had a soul or not.

Gripping the doorknob to his room tightly, Spike threw the door open, letting out a startled yell as he heard another one on the other side of the door.

"Spike, gods!" Willow yelled, holding her hand over her rapidly beating heart.

"What the hell are you doin in here?" He asked gruffly, stomping into the room and tossing himself onto the bed.

Willow stood up slowly, gathering up the incense and matched from the floor. "I'm sorry. I just needed a quiet place to get ready for the spell, a-and you weren't in here, so I…" The redhead moved to the doorway, muttering an apology.

"Wait!" He called out, letting out an unneeded sigh and rolling his shoulders. "You don't have to go, pet. Just startled me is all."

"Sorry," she said sheepishly, placing the objects on a dresser and moving to sit next to him. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine," he told her, sniffling slightly. Willow gave him a look, clearly not believing the vampire, but before she had a chance to question him further, there was another voice from the doorway.

"Willow, you ready?" Angel asked.

"Yep, all set," she told him with a forced smile, before brushing past him and heading out the door.

Angel was about to turn and follow, but paused for a moment.

"Spike…If…if anything happens, and I…if it comes down to it, and Angelus needs to be stopped, I want you to do it."

The blond looked up in slight surprise, arching an eyebrow.

"My pleasure, mate," Spike responded.

"I don't want Buffy to have to do it. Besides, I figure you'll enjoy it the most. You or Xander," Angel told him with a smirk, before turning and walking away.

~*~

"Sure you're okay with doing this, Willow?" Angel asked, for what must have been the twentieth time.

Willow sighed, setting up the ingredients for the spell. "For the last time, Angel, I'm okay. Really."

"Sorry. I just…I don't want to push you into anything you aren't ready for," he told her.

"I know," she responded with a smile. "And I appreciate your worrying, but really, it's not even a very difficult spell. I'm more worried about you."

"Ih, this is getting to be old hat for me," he told her with a wry smile. "I guess we're just lucky that you can remove the soul so easily."

"She who givith can takith away-ith," she told him, lighting the last candle. "Ready?"

Angel nodded from the other side of the cage bars. "Do your worst," he told her, and she did.

~*~

"What do you mean, the soul is missing?"

"Buffy, I told you," Willow explained. "I put the soul in the jar, I put the jar in the safe. I opened the safe this morning, and no jar."

"What does that mean? Did anyone else have a key to the safe?"

"No, that's the thing. I have the only key tied around my neck. Been here the whole time," Willow told her. The redhead couldn't be sure, but she thought that she saw a flicker of distrust in the slayer's eyes before Buffy turned away.

"So what now?" Fred questioned nervously.

"I…I'm not sure," Willow told them. "I mean, okay, so Angelus killed The Beast, yay him, and Faith and Buffy, you guys got him back here, in one piece, so yay you, but now, without the jar, I'm not sure where to go from here." It had been a rocky week, to say the least. Angelus had escaped from the cage, killing a woman in the hotel before taking to the streets. Buffy had tried to track him down, with Spike and Gunn's help, but they hadn't been able to find him. Wesley decided to break Faith out of jail, and they finally found Angelus, just as The Beast had found them. After allowing the huge demon to beat them all half to death, Angelus destroyed The Beast, and then they were finally able to take him down.

It hadn't been an easy fight. Buffy could barely move after taking on The Beast, and though Spike could hold his own, he was never quite as strong as Angelus, and they both knew it. Finally, Faith did the only thing she could think of. She injected herself with a mystical drug, before taunting Angelus into drinking from her. It left her nearly dead, and Angelus weak and disoriented, as the drug pumped through his body.

Seeing Faith fall to the cement floor, clutching her neck, Spike ran forward, punching Angelus with all his might. The older vampire stumbled backwards before tripping and falling back, glaring up at the blond.

"Go on, Spikey, do it," Angelus taunted, his words becoming slightly slurred. He grabbed Spike's hand that held the stake, as the blond loomed over him, and pointed the wooden weapon at his heart. "I know you've been dying for this moment. Well, come on, now's your big chance. Take me out, once and for all. Come on, boy! Do it! Give me your best shot!"

"Don't mind if I do, mate," Spike responded, pulling his arm back and punching Angelus as hard as he could, finally knocking the vampire unconscious.

~*~

Willow trudged quietly down into the basement, seeing only a small light on near the large, steel cage.

"Willow," Angelus called to her, sounding as friendly as possible. The redhead simply looked up at him, stopping several feet away from the cage. "So nice to see you again. To what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Where is it?" She bit out, trying to act as brave as possible.

"Where is what?" He asked innocently.

"The soul," she clarified through clenched teeth.

"Damned if I know," he told her. "Hey, I thought you were the one holding onto that. Tsk tsk…Angel's gonna be so disappointed in you when he gets back…Well…IF…he gets back."

"He WILL be back," she growled, feeling her nails digging into the palms of her hands.

"You sure about that?" He taunted. "I'm surprised that you even had the nerve to come down here. Last time I saw you, you were nothing more than a little mouse, just the slayer's shadow, a love sick puppy chasing after XANDER, of all people."

"Things change," she told him.

"So I hear," he answered back with an evil chuckle. "The little girl's all grown up, but you're still just the slayer's shadow, aren't you, Willow? No matter how hard you try, no matter how dark you go, no matter how bad you turn, you still can't get anyone to pay any attention to you. You're still just a meek, little bookworm, pretending to be tough."

"I am the one that gave you back the soul last time. Let's not forget that," she ground out.

"Oh, I haven't little girl," he growled, remembering several years back in Sunnydale, when the little witch had cursed him. "You'll be punished for that, and I bet you'll enjoy every minute of it."

Feeling her control slipping at his words, Willow raised a hand up as she shouted, "shut up!" And a flash of energy left her hand, hitting the bars in front of the vampire.

Angelus stepped back, his hands held up before him in mock defeat. "Well now, the little kitten's gotten herself some claws."

"Thought I was a mouse," she shot back. "Make up your mind. Which is it?"

"You tell me," he responded. "I know what you've done, Willow. Everyone knows it, and no matter what you do, your little friends up there…they'll never forget it. You're a killer, the same as me, the same as Spike. Hey, maybe that's why Spike has such a little crush on you!"

Willow opened her mouth in surprise at those words. "Spike? He doesn't…he…He's not…Shut up! Alright, just shut your mouth!"

"Oh, come on, don't tell me you don't see it," he stated, watching her face for a moment. "You don't! You really don't see it! Oh, this is just precious! My boy has the hots for you, kitten, whether you want to believe it or not. He can see the darkness in you, same as me. You're bad, baby. No matter how hard you try to play the good girl, you're tainted, and we can see it. Hell, we can FEEL it."

"Shut up!" Willow spun around at the voice behind her, and Angelus looked up to see Spike standing at the bottom of the stairs. "Leave her alone," he commanded, his voice cold and harsh.

"Hey, she's the one who came down here to see me," Angelus told him. "Guess she needed to find a real man."

"What? Hello! Gay now, remember?" Willow shouted. "Why does no one seem to believe that?"

"Maybe it has something to do with you being in love with that moron up there for years," Angelus told her with an evil smirk, "or maybe your little relationship with dog boy. You didn't look too gay then, Willow."

"Well, like I said, things change," she told him.

"Not you, precious," he shot back. "You can pretend all you want, but you'll never change. I get why Captain Peroxide over here has a thing for you, but…"

"Hey! I do not have a thing for…" Spike began to argue.

"Oh, give it up!" Angelus interrupted. "I've seen the way you look at her. Angel saw it, too. The longing in your eyes, the way she ALMOST makes you feel human. Almost though, Spikey, isn't exactly the same as really being human, is it? It's just enough to slowly drive you crazy. Are you sure that it wasn't really out little Willow here that you got the soul for?"

"Fuck you!" Spike yelled again. "Don't talk about things you don't understand!"

"Spike, let's just go back upstairs," Willow began to plead, as she grabbed his arm and pulled him toward the staircase.

"That's right, Spike, follow your girl like the whipped puppy you are," Angelus called out. Willow tightened her hold on his arm, silently willing him to ignore the taunts. "You were never enough for Dru, you were never enough for Buffy. Wonder how long it will take Red here to figure out how pathetic you really are?"

"Shut up!" Willow yelled, letting go of the blond's arm and throwing another flash of power forward, knocking the dark-haired vampire back on his ass. She looked back up at Spike, shaking slightly, her eyes darkened, and they both moved up the stairs, hearing the vampire in the cage laughing as they went.

"That stuff, that he was saying," Spike began, once they shut the basement door.

"Spike, I know he was just trying to get to us," the redhead told him. "Don't worry about it."

"Oh, right," Spike responded, sounded slightly deflated. Her eyes had returned to their normal green color, though she still looked a bit rattled. "Good. Just wanted to be sure. No harm done then."

"Nope," Willow said with a soft smile.

"Willow! I've been looking everywhere for you," Kennedy called out as she came through the front door of the lobby, holding it open slightly. After Angelus defeated The Beast, the sun had immediately returned to the city, much to the vampires' disappointment, and the humans' relief. Of course, they still had hundreds of zombies to deal with, but after battling The Beast, that seemed simple in comparison.

"Thought we could go out for a bite to eat, take your mind off of the whole soul thing for a little while," the brunette told her. Willow glanced back at Spike, who smiled softly at her, before looing toward her girlfriend, who was silhouetted in the sunlight behind her.

"You gonna be okay?" She asked Spike quietly.

"I'll be fine, pet. Go. You need a break," he told her, shooing her with his hand. Biting her lower lip, Willow nodded slowly, before turning and walking to her girlfriend, taking her hand and heading out into the sunlight.

~Part: 10~

Willow finally found a way to break the jar that held Angel's soul, without actually being near it, and was able to return it to the vampire. No one ever figured out that Cordelia, or the demon residing in her body, had taken the soul, or what she had planned to do with it, but in the end Willow finally managed to re-curse him, although she had altered the spell slightly. No more happiness clause. She had always thought it was rather stupid on the gypsy's part anyway, and no one was too keen on seeing Angelus again, least of all, Willow.

"Giles, how goes the potential slayer training?"  Buffy asked as she held the phone between her shoulder and chin, and filed her nails.

"Very well, and you sound rather happy.  I'm assuming all is going well there?" Giles responded.

"Yep.  Killed The Beast easily enough, stopped the rain of fire, brought back the sun…you know, the usual.  Just a few zombies to clean up and we should be all set.  Figure we'll be heading home in a day or two."

"Wonderful.  Seeing as things are going so well there, perhaps Angel could spare a few of you.  I was hoping that you might be able to send Kennedy back, to continue with her training, and Spike has been such an asset in training the girls…I could use his help."

"Yeah, I guess we could spare them…"

"And actually, if you could, send Willow along with them.  I'm trying to work out a very difficult translation of some old text about The First, given to me by an acquaintance of The Council, and I could really use her help."

"Sure, Giles, I'll send them packing as soon as the sun goes down."

            *            *            *            *

"Heard you were heading out." Willow looked up at the sound of the voice, turning and seeing Angel in the doorway, the usual guilty look marring his handsome face. She smiled softly and nodded, before turning back to finish packing her bag. Kennedy was waiting downstairs with Spike, and neither of them were exactly known for their patience.

"Willow, I don't know how to thank you," Angel told her as he walked into the room. "You're the most amazing…" His voice trailed off at the loss of words as his emotions took over.

The witch blushed slightly and tucked a bit of hair behind her ear before stuffing the last sweater into her small bag and zipping it shut.

"It was nothing," she mumbled, suddenly feeling shy.

"It was everything," he said softly, gripping her shoulders gently and turning her around to face him. "I owe you…I mean…If there's anything I can ever do to…"

"Angel, really, you don't owe me anything," she told him honestly, smiling at the happiness that danced in his eyes, just behind the guilt. "Happy to do it. No more Angelus, not exactly a bad thing in my book."

"Willow, the things that he said…He…I…They were just words. He didn't mean…"

Willow shook her head, placing her hand over his mouth, stopping him and smiling sadly. "He was trying to get to me. I know that. Maybe it was true, maybe not. Doesn't matter."

"The stuff about Spike. He does care about you, Willow," Angel told her, his eyes burning into hers. "Just…know that. I can see it. Spike… when he gives his heart away, it's forever, and it isn't just to anyone."

Willow laughed nervously. "Angel, we're friends, Spike and I, same as you and I. Friend. Nothing more. He loves Buffy and…"

"He's falling for you, Willow. Trust me. He might not even know it yet, but…can't say as I blame him." The redhead raised an eyebrow at that, taking a wide step back, and Angel chuckled. "I'm just saying, you're an amazing woman, and thank you. If you ever need anything…"

"Just promise me you'll go easy on the brooding and allow yourself a little happiness," she responded with a smile.

"Done," he told her. "And just think about what I said, about Spike."

"Angel, I'm not really the kind of girl that vamps fall all over," she told him, rolling her eyes.

The brunette arched an eyebrow and smirked. "Trust me, Willow, you are."

Willow simply nodded, before hugging him tightly, knowing that a small part of her was staying behind with this beautiful soul.

~*~

"We're here…finally," Willow said, glaring at Spike accusingly.

"What?" He questioned innocently.  "It's my fault we got lost three times?"

"You WERE the one driving," Kennedy reminded him from the back seat.

"Well, Red here should have been able to just beam us back here with a little nod or wiggle of her nose," he told her.

Willow gave him a dirty look.  "I'm not supposed to use my power just for your convenience, Spike, and besides, teleporting, if you aren't me…doesn't feel so good."  Kennedy gave her a questioning look.  "Feels kinda like having your insides ripped out," she explained.

"Fun," Kennedy said flatly.

Willow and Kennedy exited the car and headed toward the house, Spike trailing behind.  Stopping on the porch, Willow grabbed a note that was taped to the door.

"Doesn't look like anyone's here," Kennedy pointed out.

"The note says that Giles sent the Potentials out to train in the cemetery.  Spike, you should go find them, to help out.  Kennedy, you should probably go with…"

"I'm sticking with you, for right now.  I'll go back to training tomorrow," she said. Willow shrugged, unlocking the front door. Spike turned and headed out to find the potentials as the two girls went into the house.

Walking into the Summer's home, Willow smiled at Kennedy as she felt the younger girl slip a hand into hers.  Locking eyes for a brief moment, she eventually turned and closed the door before looking around.

"You know, compared to this place, L.A. seemed almost like a fun vacation," Kennedy noted.

"Yeah, sure. The kind of vacation where if you're not too careful, you get your flesh eaten by a zombie," Willow joked.

"And doctors are always warning us about protecting our skin from the sun," Kennedy quipped. "Back to the grind, I guess."

"Yep," Willow simply replied, looking slightly nervous.

"Hey." Kennedy squeezed her hand, noticing the redhead's discomfort. "We took down that beast thing with almost no trouble at all. We'll kick this evil things ass, too."

"I hope you're right," Willow responded with a weak smile. "I know I'm going to have to get down with the mojo when the time comes, one way or another."

"You think you're ready? I mean, you did the whole soul thing for Angel, so…"

"The soul restoration…that was the first spell I ever did…well, correctly anyway. But here, dealing with The First, am I ready for it? If I say no, will you be completely petrified?" Willow questioned, genuinely worried about the answer. "I mean, The First, it's been able to manipulate me before, and…"

Kennedy interrupted her with a soft kiss, smiling sweetly as she pulled away. "I have every bit of faith in you, Willow," she told her. "You're going to be great. Trust me. Actually, you already are pretty great. Look at what you've overcome!."

"I hope I make you proud," the redhead told her softly.

"You already have," Kennedy whispered.

Willow grinned, the smile more genuine this time, and kissed the brunette before turning her head away and looking around, her body stiffening somewhat.  The house seemed quiet, 6oo quiet for a place full of potential slayers-in-training. Even if they were out on patrol, there should have been some sign of life in the house. It looked like no one had been there for days.

"What's up?"  Kennedy asked, seeing the pensive look on the redhead's face.

"Not sure," Willow told her, still looking around.  "Something just feels…off."

"Part of that whole magic thing again, huh?"

"Maybe…" Willow walked cautiously into the kitchen.  Something in the air definitely felt wrong. "Giles?" She called out, waiting for a response that didn't come.

"Maybe he's down in the basement, and didn't hear us," Kennedy suggested, opening the door, ready to head down stairs.  As soon as the door opened, Willow braced herself against the kitchen counter, feeling something very bad and very wrong hit her, but unable to pinpoint what it was.

"Willow, what is it?"  Kennedy asked, stopping and looking back at the redhead with concern.

"I don't know, but something's wrong.  I don't think that…"

"Willow?  Kennedy?  Are you girls up there?"  Giles called from the basement, startling them both.

"Yeah, we'll be right down," Kennedy yelled back before smiling at Willow.  "See, like I said, nothing to worry about."  Willow still looked unconvinced, but followed her down the stairs.

      *                  *            *            *

"Hello?  Giles, hi.  Did they make it to you okay?  What? Willow and Kennedy…a-and Spike…you know…Giles! You asked to have them come back to Sunny-"  Buffy paused, trying to understand Giles as he spoke.

"Buffy I've been trying to get a hold of you for days.  What in the world are you doing in L.A.?"  He asked, his voice sounding both weary and frantic.

"What?  Giles, you sent us here, remember?  And…and you just talked to me earlier today. What is wrong with you?  Are you feeling alright?"

"Buffy, I assure you that I did NOT send any of you to Los Angeles, nor did I talk to you any time within the last several weeks."

"Giles, stop this, it isn't funny!"  Buffy yelled.

"Buffy, you must listen to me.  The First…it's back, and…"

"Yeah, Giles, well aware of that fact," she interrupted.

"It destroyed the entire watcher's council and…"

"Again, well aware…thank you, oh King of the re-cap."

"Buffy, listen to me!"  He shouted, causing her face to fall and her voice to go silent.  "I was attacked by The First. Ac-actually, technically, I was killed by…by a bringer, and a friend of mine found me just after and was able to revive me, though I've been unconscious and…"

"Giles…are you saying…"

"Buffy, if you believe you've been seeing and talking to me, I can only imagine that it's actually been…"

"The First," Buffy finished, dread in her voice.

"And you say that you sent Willow and Spike back to see me…or…it, rather?"  Buffy nodded her head mutely, staring forward in a daze, her mind swimming.  "Buffy?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry…yes, they left a few hours ago, on their way back to Sunnydale…a-along with one of the potentials, and…oh my god! Giles, the potentials!  We left them all alone with him!"

"I'm at the Sunnydale airport now," he told her.  "I'll head out and begin to search for them immediately.  Just get back here as soon as you possibly can."

"Already on the way," Buffy said, before hanging up.

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