Opening her eyes, the darkness around her seemed to solidify, going from
fuzzy shadows to the actual bleakness of her cell. Taking a breath, she
steadied herself and sat up, moaning as she rubbed her eyes and the
temples of her head. Whatever they had given her, it hadn’t been that
friendly to her system. Shaking the cobwebs away, Buffy concentrated on
finding her center and then just listened to the sounds around her.

Earlier, other than the movements of her captors, it had seemed quiet,
but now, there was something else. There was another presence in the
cell, and it wasn’t only the crying of her cell mate that let on she
wasn’t alone, it was also the feeling she had grown used to through the
years. Pushing past the small tugging in her gut, Buffy started to crawl
towards the corner she felt the other captive in. There was something
familiar about it all, and her mind was screaming warning signals at her
as she ventured closer.

The darkness of the cell seemed to unfold around Buffy as she made her
way over, and slowly, she came into focus. At first, Buffy just stopped
and stared at the site in front of her. Even though Buffy should feel
something else, all she could feel was pity for the woman before her.
The young woman was chained to the wall with a chain at her neck.
Slashes cut into her clothes at her back, lined with dried up blood. Her
eyes seemed distant in her skeleton drawn face.

Buffy reached towards the slight being, and as soon as her hand came in
touch with her cold skin, the woman started to rock back and forth. Not
even turning to Buffy, she remarked over and over, “So hungry, but can’t
eat. So hungry, but can’t eat.”

Pulling away, Buffy just sat beside the woman, watching. If her captors
could do this to this being – and surely they were somehow behind it –
then what were their plans for her? Just the question alone scared
Buffy.

**

Lindsey watched the clear liquid in his glass spin about as he
manipulated his drink. It seemed to go in a downward spiral, just like
his life. Ever since he took Holland’s office, especially after Angel
cut off his hand, Lindsey had been ignoring the little voice in his head.
Now, after all this time, his head hurt. It was time to stop, but after
falling so deep, he didn’t know how to change.

A voice commented from the side, “Do I still have sleep in my eyes, or do
I really have a customer?”

Taking a swig of his drink, Lindsey then remarked, “I always liked this
place earlier in the day. It allowed me an atmosphere to think in.”

Sitting beside him, the Host remarked, “Yes, but we only got to hear your
pipes at night.”

Lindsey held up his hand as the Host ordered a drink from the bar tender.
“Yes, well, with my strumming hand gone…”

The Host nodded as his bar tender handed him his drink. “Oh yes, the
hand. That’s all it has been about, hasn’t it – how Angel ruined your
life, so now it is time for your own personal crusade. I know he is
tiring from it. What you have to ask yourself is how much it is dragging
you down too. You are at a cross roads, my friend, and any moment now,
you are going to have to make a decision.”

“You can tell that by just looking at me, without the singing?”

“The eyes are the window to the soul, and when I look at you, I can see
all the way from that dirty little case you have been researching behind
the partner’s backs to the terrible egg and ham sandwich you had this
morning. The road isn’t always smooth, but yours is about to be laid
before you.”

“You act like it is going to walk right in that door,” remarked Lindsey
as he pointed with his left hand towards the door.

Almost as soon as it left his mouth, the door opened and a woman walked
in. Smiling, the Host replied, “I don’t know if I would call her an it.
Maybe a witch, but not an it.”

Lindsey was about to reply as the young woman walked over to where they
were sitting. She was slightly tall, with long brown hair. Moving some
strands of her soft hair out of her eyes, she remarked, “I was told there
was a Host here that could see into my future, push me onto the right
path and all of that.”

“You’ve come to the right place. Usually, we don’t open the karaoke part
of the bar until early evening, but since you come such a long way…”

The girl nodded, “So they weren’t kidding about the singing part.”

The Host took a swig and replied, “Just sing a little ditty – something
you don’t need music to. It helps to get a reading on a first timer.”

“Do I need to stand on stage?”

The Host motioned to the stage, “Feel free to. It seems to put people
more at ease.”

Amy nodded and headed to the stage, feeling like eyes were all over her,
even though she knew other than the Host, the only people in the bar were
the bar tender and what looked to be Lindsey’s twin. Stepping onto the
stage, she headed to the microphone. Tentatively turning it on, she
looked out in the crowd.

What was she doing? Trying to find out how she fit into all of it, that
was what. Ever since Xander had left her, all she felt was out of place.
With a chance to leave, how could she not take it? Luckily, the gang
had found a way to send her to Angel Investigations instead of Sunnydale.
Not seeing this world’s Xander and knowing there was more out there was
a start, but even jumping from one universe to another couldn’t fill the
loneliness that was in her heart. That was why she was here. Because
Wesley had told her of this place, and something deep down told her she
had to try.

Taking a deep breath, Amy started singing the only song she knew the
words to – a song she had learned as a child. Her untrained voice
started to ring through the atmosphere. Lifting an eyebrow, the Host
remarked jokingly to Lindsey as he watched her, “Kind of a strange song
for her to sing, don’t you think. I mean, in her own way, she is over
the rainbow, but the whole part with the witch being squashed under that
house – kind of violent if you ask me. Think about it, here she is, a
witch, and she is singing a song from a movie where two witches die.”

Lindsey turned to him as he placed his drink on the counter and commented
quietly, “She is so beautiful.”

“Well, she isn’t Judy Garland, but she sure has potential.” Turning to
Lindsey, added, “And by that gleam in your eyes, I would say she has you
enchanted.”

On stage, Amy looked across the room to where Lindsey was keeping a
watchful eye on her. His blue eyes seemed to burn into her, something
she had never experienced when it came to her Lindsey. Honestly, she had
never really paid that much attention to the Lindsey in her universe, but
there was something about this one. Never before, had she felt such
emotion directed towards her in someone’s eyes, not even Xander’s.
Finishing “Over the Rainbow,” she took a deep breath and turned off the
microphone, already heading towards the Host.

Stopping in front of the two spectators, Amy asked, “So, did you see
anything?”

“I see a dark cell, where a slayer awaits help. You have traveled across
barriers to find a way to save her, and your journey has led you to the
answer.” Looking over at Lindsey, he added, “Want a way out of the firm,
a new beginning? Maybe you should think of emptying that which you
know.”

As the two looked at him, the Host took both of their hands and placed
them on top of each other. “Your answers and futures are right in front
of you. Go with it, don’t ask questions, and go visit that little
restaurant down the street - that serves those creamy pastry desserts.
Delightful, I tell you. The strawberry ones, with the whipped topping –
to die for.”
 

part seven

“Spike, you’re doing it all wrong.”

“Listen here, you bloody poof. I think I have lived long enough to know
what I am doing.”

“No, you’re just to pig headed to admit that you’re wrong.”

Behind them, Angel shook his head. “Would you guys stop. You two fight
as much as William and I get along.” Looking down at the puzzle they had
started to work on to relax, he added, “You’re supposed to start with the
boarder. Everyone knows that.”

Before any of them could retort, there was a knock at the door. When
Graham’s voice called from the other side, Angel opened it carefully,
making sure that he or the others didn’t get caught in the sun’s rays.
Stepping in quickly, Graham glanced around the room and smiled, “I hope
you don’t mind me stopping by. Doyle left earlier this morning, and
Cordelia pushed me out the door, saying it was time for girl talk.”

>From the table, Spike remarked, “Well, we wouldn’t want you to be stuck
with the girls. One time, I spent time with Willow, Anya, Tara and
Buffy. They took me to this open mike night at some coffee ship, which
ended up being a bloody feminine prose night. I kept on wanting to stake
myself, but Willow insisted it would be bad for the upholstery.”

Across the table, Angel added, “Oh, and then there is the whole makeup
thing. Have you ever noticed how many colors they have in fingernail
polish and lip stick?”

Graham shook his head, “But like I said, it wasn’t like I really wanted
to leave. It was more like Cordelia pointing to the door and saying,
‘Time for girl talk – why don’t you check on everyone at Angel’s.’”

>From the table, Angel laughed, “Now that sounds more like my Cordelia.”

Looking at his double, the other Angel asked as he settled onto the couch
and turned the television on to Martha Stewart, “So, what is up with that
anyway? Are you guys just friends, or is there more?”

Spike smiled knowingly at the vampire he called sire, “Yes. You two
seemed pretty chummy last night. Did you finally break down and tell her
how you truly felt.”

“We have known for a while, but I never told her how much I loved her
until all this started.”

Graham, even though he was a little out of the loop, remarked, “So you
had to reassure her?”

Angel nodded as he added a piece to the puzzle. “She is always scared
that I love Buffy more and will one day leave her because of it.”

Moving over and studying the puzzle, Graham nodded. “She feels like she
is in Buffy’s shadow, just like Riley feels like he is in yours’. Adding
a piece to the puzzle, he asked, “So, would you Angel? Hearing this from
the other side, I have to ask.”

Shaking his head, Angel remarked, “Buffy is my past and Cordelia is my
future. Nothing is going to change that.”

Looking over at the Angel on the couch, Spike asked, “What about you? If
you could have your Buffy back somehow, what would you do?”

Leaning his head back on the couch, he groaned, “I don’t know. Buffy was
my everything, but I have started to move on. She isn’t the first or
last thing I think of when I get up or go to bed. I no longer wake up
and search for her beside me. When I draw, she isn’t the only thing I
think of. However, when I think about what we had…” Angel paused for a
few seconds. “I just hope I can share the feeling I had with her with
someone else.”

“Any potentials?” asked Spike.

As Angel opened his mouth, there was a knock at the door. Smiling, he
remarked as Graham got up to open it. “Great, saved by visitors.”

Opening the door once all the vampires were out of his way, Graham stood
for a moment – motionless. On the other side, bright blue eyes stared at
him. He had known this might happen, but being face to face with his
double seemed strange. Blinking, he shook the strange feeling away and
invited the new comers in. “Sorry, come on in.”

When the two entered, Spike commented from the table, “Great. And I was
hoping to get through this without seeing Xapper.”

Pushing his black, light rimmed glasses up, Xander replied, “Listen here,
Q-Tip, the Billy Idol look has been out for quite a while now.”

Growling a bit, Spike asked, “So, this is the guy who left the Prom Queen
for the star quarter back?”

Sitting down beside Angel on the couch, Graham remarked, “I wasn’t even
on the football team.”

Moving behind Graham, Xander started to rub Graham’s shoulders, “He was
first chair violin in his high school and college orchestra.”

Graham lifted an eyebrow as he joined Angel and Spike at the table. “I
bet your friends in the Initiative gave you a hard time about that.”

The other Graham shook his head. “We really didn’t discuss it that much.
It was all about demons, and our personal lives weren’t really brought
into it.”

Changing the subject, the Angel on the couch asked, “So, Xander, what
brings you here?”

Xander sighed, answering, “Gray here, thought we should see if you needed
any help, being the danger signal has been sounded.”

Graham (Gray) nodded. “We know how much Buffy means to everyone, and if
there is anything that we could do to help…”

Getting up from his seat at the puzzle, Angel remarked coldly before
heading up the stairs, “We have all the help we need, and at this moment,
none of it matters.”

“What’s his problem?” asked Xander.

“He’s just doing the brood thing. Don’t worry, it will pass,” stated
Spike.

“Who said I was worried?”

Gray shook his head and smiled, his blue eyes shining brightly. Changing
the subject, he remarked, “I can’t believe Martha is putting those shades
together.”

Angel agreed from beside him, “Anyone knows those two colors clash –
except maybe in the sixties.”

Spike shook his head. “Bloody hell, Angel, you’re just as much a
poofster as Xapper and soldier toy there. Then again, when you were
Angelus…”

On the couch, Gray and Angel laughed as Xander stood with a sour look on
his face. Almost smiling himself, Graham commented to Spike, “I think
they were playing us.”

Gray nodded from the couch. “You have been judging Xander and I since we
walked in. Angel, is just pretty good at catching on and playing
around.”

Angel shook his head. “Actually, I wasn’t quite playing there. Those
colors are awful together.”

Spike rolled his eyes, ignoring Angel. “Hey, I’m not judgmental. I am
dating a bisexual, and Graham here might as well be.”

Turning a little red, Graham remarked, “I think I’ll go and check on
Angel.” Not waiting for them to comment any, he headed up the stairs.
He really didn’t know Angel that well, but they had seemed to get along
when they were in LA.

When he reached the door, Angel looked up and remarked, “You running away
too?”

Graham nodded as he sat down. “It is so strange here. I look at the
people here and the people back home, and they’re complete opposites.”

Angel actually smiled, knowing part of the thoughts stemmed from Graham’s
twin. “So, tell me Graham, were you the quarter back or first chair
violin?”
 

“My mom had me take piano lessons when I was eight. I loved it and
practiced all the time, but after three months, my teacher begged my mom
to let her bump me. As for football, yes I was the quarter back.”
Sighing, he added, “It just seems so strange that we are so different,
but yet the same person.”

“Well, other than him looking like he smiles more, the only difference
seems to be he swings the other way. That’s what’s bothering you, isn’t
it?”

“No. He isn’t the only one. I mean, Tara, my precious Tara, was some
evil demon, wanting to rule the Hellmouth. And Riley, my best friend,
was her partner in everyway. It just seems so strange. Think about it,
other than you and Giles, the rest of us are so different from our
twins.”

Angel shrugged, “Actually, my twin is different. Did you see he was
actually wearing a bit of color today.”

Graham laughed. Quirking an eyebrow, he remarked, “I bet you have been
caught in something other than black.”

“Well, there was that one time I wore dark blue.”

Laughing some more and shaking his head, Graham asked, “So, why did you
leave?”

Angel frowned. “Xander. There is something about that guy that just
seems off.”

“Maybe because he comes across as a stuck up tight ass?”

Looking at Graham with shock on his face, he remarked, “I can’t believe
you just said that.” It was true that he really didn’t know Graham that
much. Actually, this conversation was probably the most he had ever
heard out of the man’s mouth. And now, to hear those words coming out of
someone so serious, it actually caught him off guard.

Graham, setting back into his serious face, asked, “But can you say,
honestly, he didn’t come off that way?”

Angel actually growled. “He acts like this is all just an inconvenience
to him. And then – that smug little look on his face… I’m starting to
think our Xander isn’t that bad.”

Graham shook his head and sighed dramatically. “What is this world
coming to – us actually considering that our Xander isn’t that bad?”

Raising an eyebrow and smiling, Angel remarked, “You know, I think we may
get along just fine.”

“Yeah, we just need to make sure Rye doesn’t find out.”

Nodding, Angel commented, “True.” Looking towards the door and motioning
to it, he added, “So, should we go on and face your doubles boyfriend,
the tight ass?”

Graham smiled, “After you.”
 

Part Eight

Riley stared ahead, not really listening to the words going on around
him. They all blurred together, mixing into one vast noise that he just
wanted to shut away. Words. That is all they were. All night he had
been listening to them, and his brain had started to shut them away as
his ears numbed to them. Buffy was gone, and no matter how much people
sat and talked, nothing was going to change that.

Closing his eyes, thinking past the throbbing in his head, he thought
about her. He has always feared that her being the slayer would get in
the way, that she would leave him because he wasn’t good enough or that
she would die as the other Buffy had, at the hands of one of her enemies.
What he didn’t expect was for someone to take her away, to kidnap her
just for the reason of getting at Angel.

Trying to push away the fact she was missing at the moment, he thought of
only her. He pictured her bright eyes shining at him. Her smile was
there too, trying to brighten his mood as he was used to everyday. If he
delved even deeper, he could almost feel her light touch or the heat of
her breath against his neck. In his mind, he could hear her voice
ringing through his ears, that soft, calm voice that at times was his
anchor of reason.

A hand found his and wove its fingers through his, squeezing lightly.
Breaking his thoughts, he looked beside him where Willow was sitting.
She smiled lightly at him, her eyes speaking volumes. They were red from
lack of sleep and crying. His room had been next door to her and
Spike’s, and he had spent a great deal of the night listening to Spike
trying to console her. She had been trying to give the front she was
being brave about all this, but Riley knew what she did, that all they
wanted to do with drown in tears. However, Angel was right, and Riley
had to stay strong, just like he was sure she would be when the time
came. Squeezing her hand back, he nodded and then looked up and started
paying attention to the conversation in front of him.

Faith sat in a large over stuffed chair beside their couch, wearing a
mauve dress. Her hair was fixed in two braids falling on each side of
her face. Gone was the Faith from the night before and back was the calm
Faith. She brought her legs up beneath her and asked as she seemed to
almost disappear in the folds of the plush chair, “All I know is that
Drusilla was going on about wanting to please her father, even though the
stars actually told her that she would never see that, no matter what the
strange rolls of paper said.”

“Strange rolls of paper?” asked Wills beside William.

Placing her cup of coffee down on the small table, Cordelia nodded,
“Yeah, the Scrolls of Aberjian.”

“Come again?” asked Faith.

“They’re these ancient scrolls Angel came across. They prophesize about
him going through all these battles, and if he makes it, he gets his
final reward, which is humanity.”

Willow smiled. “Angel as a human.”

Wills nodded, “So, basically, the scrolls say ‘if’ he makes it through,
which means there is always the slight possibility that he could turn or
be dusted.”

Cordelia thought about it, her eyebrows scrunching up in concentration.
“I just always thought about it in the light that he would make it.
We’ll have to ask Wesley about this whole shanshu thing when we get
home.”

William spoke up from where he was sitting, “What Wolfram and Hart were
getting at was that they were going to try to change Angel to their side
for these upcoming battles, not kill him. Darla and Lindsey were talking
about the partners wanting him for something big.”

Riley shook his head. “But I thought your Lindsey said they probably
weren’t the ones behind this.”

Cordelia shook her head. “No. They are the type to do anything – and
that is anything – to get to Angel. I wouldn’t put it past them,
especially the one handed wonder.”

“One handed wonder?” asked Wills, who had never had contact with the
Lindsey in question.

William pointed to Riley and Willow. “The Lindsey in their universe only
has one hand.”

Cordelia smiled as she added, “Yep, Angel cut it clean off.”

Wills shuddered a little bit, more for the effect than really feeling
like she should. “No wonder Lindsey wants to turn Angel. It would take
away the person that cut his hand off.”

William grunted, “Only they aren’t thinking about what turning him into
Angelus would entail. Angelus isn’t the type to answer to someone else.”

Faith shook her head from where she was sitting, “But why take Buffy? If
they want Angel to turn into Angelus, taking her is just going to make
him angry. I thought it actually had to do with their Angel being
happy.”

William shook his head. “Happy or angry has nothing to do with it right
now. They know how to remove souls another way – trust me, I know – and
all they have to do is set up bait to reel him in.”

Willow reached down and squeezed Riley’s leg as she remarked, almost as
if trying to convince herself, “Wolfram and Hart or not, whoever has her,
forgot one thing, no one separates the Scoobies.”
 

**

Tara looked up from the book she was reading and smiled at Cordy.
Tucking hair behind her ear, she commented, “You’re not going to get much
reading done looking at me.”

Cordy grinned. Lifting one eyebrow, she pleaded, “So, tell me about you
and Graham.”

Turning a bit red and looking down, Tara shook her head. “There isn’t
anything to tell. We’re just friends.”

“Really, is that why you look at each other the way you do?”

“Like what?”

“Like you want to rip each others clothes off and ravage each other, no
matter where you are or who else is around.”

Tara shook her head, turning even redder and not being able to make eye
contact. “We don’t look at each other like that.”

“Maybe not, maybe so, but I do know one thing: when I see you two look at
each other, I definitely see love.”

Slowly looking up, Tara’s eyes met Cordelia’s. “I don’t know what you
are talking about. I’m not suppose to have these feelings.”

“Why? Because you once loved a woman?”

Tara nodded. “Yes. You aren’t suppose to turn those type of feelings on
and off.” How could she admit that she felt guilty over her feelings
toward Graham, like she was not being fair to what she felt for Willow.

Cordy sat with a contemplative look on her face, “So your saying that
because you once practiced lesbian tendencies, then it isn’t possible for
you to love a man.”

“That is exactly what I am saying,” Tara remarked, her voice not sounding
as sure as her words.

Rolling her eyes, Cordy shook her head, “That is just as stupid as saying
just because someone dated an individual of the opposite sex, they can’t
love the same sex. If you ask me, it is all hogwash. Your Willow and I
swing both ways, why is it hard for you to see yourself doing that?”

“Oh, you’re thinking that no one is actually gay but bi?”asked Tara,
feeling like she should be on the defense.

Cordy shook her head and took a breath in. “Now you’re putting words in
my mouth. That isn’t what I mean at all. Take our Graham. That boy has
known since day one that he is gay, and he there is no way he would
switch sides. It is just the way he is – he was born that way. Now,
there are people out there that are trying to find their place or maybe
because of certain elements in their life they choose to swing one way or
another. For some reason, I think you may be one of the latter.”

Tara’s eyebrows knitted together, “So, you’re saying you think I’m bi?”

“Oh, please. Bi – shmi. Gay – shmay. Why put a name to what you feel?
All that matters is that you love, and what should it matter what sex you
love? It isn’t the package that matters, it is what is inside – male or
female. You loved Willow for the person she was in her heart. Now, what
you got to ask yourself is this: what do you feel when you think of
Graham and what he is inside?”

Looking down again, Tara said quietly, “I feel warm and snug, yet all
tingly.”

Nodding, Cordy pushed Tara jokingly and remarked, “See, it wasn’t that
hard to see, was it?”

Tara picked up one of her crystals and let it dangle, swaying back and
forth, as she answered quietly, “No.” The truth was, she had known her
feelings for Graham all along. The only problem was she was afraid to
voice them, and now, listening to Cordelia, she realized how much she
needed to face theses feelings.

Cordy watched her for a second, staring at the crystal as it waved about
in the air, seemingly random. Looking back up to Tara’s face, she
remarked, “Tara?”

Glancing up and meeting Cordy’s gaze, she asked, “Yes?”

Slowly smiling, Cordy remarked, “I think you may have found a way to find
Buffy. I’ll grab a map and then we’ll pick up Graham before heading to
the coffee shop.”

For a second, Tara sat with a lost look on her face as Cordy scrambled to
find a map. Suddenly it hit, and she scrambled up, gathering some of her
things. It was so simple. Why hadn’t they thought about it before?

**

Buffy groaned as she stretched out on the hard floor and then sat up. In
front of her, quietly sat her cellmate, staring at her with a strange
look on her face, almost like fascination. Slowly reaching out, Buffy
touched the young woman’s face. The young woman blanched at first, but
the reached out and grabbed Buffy’s hand. Moving it to her breast, she
held it against her and said quietly, “So pretty.”

Studying the woman, Buffy took her other hand and smoothed out some of
the woman’s long brown hair. This woman was her enemy, but for some
reason, all she wanted to do was protect the frail figure before her.
“What happened to you?”

“They left me. Daddy left me. All alone. No one to talk to. Fell into
their trap.”

Buffy nodded. Things were starting to fall into place in her mind, such
as why this person, who should have been dust almost a hundred years ago,
was now sitting in the same space as she. “You do understand that they
didn’t know you were still alive.”

Tapping her hand against Buffy’s, right above her heart, she remarked,
“Their hearts thump, even though dead. The stars sing of the souls which
inhabit them.” Looking at Buffy, she added, “For him, she was bright and
shiny – just like you. I could see her before the darkness, all the way
here.” Her eyes fell down and she shook her head as she frowned, “But
now all I see is fire and night.”

“She?”

“You – a slayer.”

Buffy shook her head. “You’re telling me they didn’t know you were
alive, Drusilla, but you could feel them so well, you could see my
double?”

“Silly girl, the stars don’t sing to them like they do me.”

Slowly nodding, Buffy asked as she met Drusilla’s gaze, “What do the
stars tell you about our captors?”

“They watch, study, enjoy seeing the little bolts, jumping through my
mind. Electricity zapping. No biting. No hurting. No feeding.” As
she listed off things, she bounced her head back and forth.

Pondering what she said, remembering the fuzzy figures from before, Buffy
then asked, “What do they want with Angel?”

Drusilla shook her head as she covered her eyes. “Death. Pain. Hate.
They want to hurt what Daddy is.”

Moving Drusilla’s hands from her face, Buffy asked, “Will they succeed?”

Staring off in space for a while, she turned slowly to Buffy as tears
started to fall. Buffy let her lean against her and cradled the
vampire’s head against her chest as Drusilla remarked softly through her
crying, “The ground will run with blood. So much blood… So much death…
Red, red everywhere.”
 

Part Nine

Wills sat, watching as everyone milled about the room, trying to get
comfortable around doubles, and for some, strangers. Cordy and Tara had
come up with an idea on how to find Buffy, so an emergency joint Scooby
meeting had been called. As everyone tried to get comfy in an upstairs
room of the Corner Café, Wills spent her time trying to get a read on
everyone. Something had been bothering her for a while now, mainly
something William had spoken of after Wolfram and Hart took him a few
short months ago. He had mentioned the lawyers speaking of an informant
in her Sunnydale. Could the spy be a part of her own group?

Using her power, she opened herself up to it and tried to use it to pick
up any sign of betrayal. Her eyes first made their way to Xander and
Gray. Both had a history of turning over to the other side. When their
Tara and Riley were trying to take over the Hellmouth through the
Initiative and by trading her with the other Willow, Gray turned against
his commanding officers by giving the Scooby Gang inside information. If
he had turned against the Initiative: then why not the gang? However,
studying him, she realized that he was loyal, and his partner was
probably more likely to snitch.

Xander, who used to be in a constant snooty, uptight mood seemed calmer
than ever. While Gray had been feeding them information, Xander had been
doing the opposite. Part of her still felt resentment towards him for
that, but now that she was reading him, she could see that things had
changed. Maybe it was Gray’s influence, maybe not. What ever it was,
Xander was changing, and he wasn’t the leak.

Her eyes next fell on Oz. He was standing by the door, looking like he
was ready to leave. It wasn’t uneasiness caused by what she was looking
for though. No, his fidgeting had to do with the girl across the room.
Just the other day, he had broken his relationship off with Faith, and
Wills was sure he didn’t consider having to face her so soon. His pain
was still fresh, and even though he had left, it was evident how much he
loved her.

A lone figure joined Oz, speaking to the third owner of the Café.
Doyle’s smooth blue eyes scanned the room and ended on Cordy, where he
smiled at her while still holding a conversation with Oz. Even though
she knew deep down it wasn’t him or Cordy, she went ahead and checked
them, only running across a deep desire to be with the ones they loved.
No, it wasn’t Doyle or Cordy, and Wills felt a little bad for even
checking.

Across the room, Lindsey and Giles were talking quietly. Could it be one
of them? Lindsey had once worked for Wolfram and Hart. Was it possible
that he may still be working for them, supplying them with information?
Narrowing her eyes, she studied him and saw no duplicity. If it wasn’t
him, and she was pretty sure it wasn’t Faith, William or Angel, then
could it actually be Giles?

Giles. The man was like a father to her. Actually, according to
documents, he was her legal guardian, which was close to being a parent.
Just the idea of it being him scared her. Opening her self up to him,
she gave a sigh of relief as she realized there was nothing to base her
fears on. Concentrating, she thought through everyone again as she felt
a hand on her shoulder. Looking up, she smiled as William remarked, “You
look to be deep in thought.

Wills was about to respond when Giles pushed his glasses up his nose and
cleared his throat. When everyone seemed to settle, he stated, “We have
all gathered here because Cordy and Tara may have found something.”

Cordy remarked from where she was spreading a map on a round coffee
table. “Actually, I can’t believe we haven’t thought about this before.
It isn’t that we have found something, but actually, it is more like we
may have found a way to find her.”

“That is, if Buffy is in this universe,” added Tara.

“So, are you going to tell us, or just dance around the idea?” asked
Xander.

Angel growled from behind his Willow as Spike turned to give him a ‘can’t
growl at the whelp right no’ look. Ignoring the two vampires surrounding
her, Willow remarked as she looked over at Xander, “As long as I am here,
you will never speak to them that way again.”

Xander seemed to seethe at her threat, but then calmed as he felt Gray’s
hand on his arm. Gray, eyeing the look his double had been giving Xander
since Xander had been short with Tara, asked calmly, “Back to the
subject, what have you come up with?”

“A scrying spell,” answered Cordy with a smile.

“What is that?” asked Cordelia, from where she had stepped between her
Angel and the other Xander, blocking Angel’s path.

Wills answered with a smile. “A spell you use to find the area someone
is in, using a map.”

Looking up at Riley and the other Angel, Willow remarked, “At least this
way, we can know the general area she is in.”

Tara remarked quietly as she looked up at Riley. “All we would need is
something of Buffy’s.”

Nodding, Riley pulled out his keys from his pocket and pulled one off the
ring. “She gave me a key to her place. Since it is supposedly hers,
could it work?”

Taking the key from Riley, Tara strung it on a string and then added a
crystal. Glancing around her, she asked, “Willow, Wills, could you help
center me?” This wasn’t something she was used to, and with this being
another world, Tara was going to need to concentrate more than usual.

The three kneeled at the table. Holding out the crystal, Tara closed
here eyes as Willow and Wills both placed a hand on her shoulders. In a
flash of a second, she found herself surrounded by the two red head’s
power. Concentrating on the crystal and key, she focused their power
there, praying to the Lord and Lady at the same time.

The key and crystal moved almost as soon as Tara closed her eyes. At
first, it seemed to swing out of control, spinning in fast circles.
Then, just as suddenly, it stopped, aiming at a strange angle and
hovering in air as it pointed to a specific area of town. Everyone
seemed to push their way to the map, trying to steal a glance as Riley
remarked with dread, already able to tell where it was pointing to from
his view. “The Initiative.”

As Giles headed to a phone, Gray remarked, “But the Initiative disbanded
after Tara and Riley’s death.”

>From where she sat thinking, Wills watched everyone reacting in slow
motion. Arguments were already breaking out as the implications set in.
However, she was thinking past that environment. For some reason, things
were starting to click. Getting up, she worked her way through the crowd
until she stood in front of Giles. Reaching up, she placed her hand on
the receiver rest, hanging up on who ever he was talking to. As Giles
looked over at her, his face questioning her action, she remarked, “I
know who the leak is. It isn’t one of us, its them.”

Giles shook his head. “Do you realize what you are saying?”

“Can we afford to be wrong?”

**

Amy rolled her eyes as Wesley kept a crossbow aimed at Lindsey. “Wesley,
don’t you think this is a little bit?”

>From where he was standing, Gunn remarked, “The way I see it, after the
things he’s done, he’s lucky Wesley hasn’t shot him yet.”

“Maybe so, but he has information we need about Buffy,” stated Amy.

Lowering the crossbow just a bit, Wesley asked, “How do we know we can
trust you?”

“When Wolfram and Hart took Doyle and William from the other universe,
they used information gathered by a leak. Since then, they have been in
touch with the informers on the other side. It turns out the leak we had
didn’t realize, and still doesn’t, that the people he answered to were
turning around and giving that information to us. See, our leak is
actually innocent of betraying his own.”

The crossbow was raised back to its original position. “Do you realize
what you are implying?”

Amy frowned as she understood the implications. “Giles was the leak, and
he didn’t even know it.”

Lindsey nodded. “Part of the council has been forwarding his reports to
their Wolfram and Hart, who has been sending them to us.”

Gunn shook his head. “But I thought the council was good.”

“The council, on the whole, is good, but this council has fractions. One
fraction is out to destroy all vampires, even those with souls. Why else
would they have given us William to play with? As long as he was out of
their universe, then they were fine with that.”

Wesley was shocked with what he was hearing, but it was starting to make
some sense. “So, now they’re after two Angels at once.”

“They take care of their problem along with ours at the same time.”

“So, who is the council member in charge of this?”

Lindsey shook his head. “All I know is that the council is literally in
bed with Wolfram and Hart there, because word is they are joined by
actual marriage. As for who the lucky bride and groom are, well, I have
no idea.”

Wesley frowned, “I am afraid we need more than just your word.”

“I thought of that.” Lindsey smiled at Amy. “So, I am willing to go out
a limb here and steal information from Wolfram and Hart, that is if Amy
doesn’t mind helping. I know they have files, and I have a pretty good
idea where to find them.”

“For some reason, I still don’t quite trust you. What if this is a
setup, some divine plan in which we play into Wolfram and Harts hands?”

Amy reached out and moved the point of the crossbow down. “The only way
to find out is to give him a chance, and I’m willing to do that for our
friends. What about you?”

Wesley looked over at Gunn, who nodded and then turned back to Lindsey.
“Fine. You both have our cooperation. Just remember though, we’re only
doing this for Buffy and Angel.”
 

**

Buffy smoothed hair away from Drusilla’s face, studying the hollow face
of the vampire, cheek bones sticking out and the sockets of the eyes
deepening. Yes, she was a demon, she was bad, but how could they do
something like that to her. At least with her, all she used was a stick.
She didn’t torture them for a century, watching and relishing as the
vampires disappeared and became a shallow shell. If there was one thing
Buffy knew, this was wrong. Her heart poured out to the vampire, and
Buffy wondered if she had the chance to end this vampire’s pain, would
she be able to.

On her lap, the vampire moved a bit and started speaking in her sleep.
“So dark. Brewing, brewing like a storm. Tossing and turning, not
understanding.” Suddenly, Drusilla’s eyes snapped open and she remarked,
staring into the darkness of their cell, “Mother.” Slowly, she started
laughing and then switched to crying. Laying back down in Buffy’s lap,
she cried out, “I want her. Make it better. She can help take away the
pain.”

Just sitting there, Buffy ran her fingers through Drusilla’s hair, cooing
to her. “It’s okay, Dru. I will take care of you. We will get out of
this.”

As the vampire started to quiet down, the door to the cell opened.
Slowly looking up, her gaze fell upon his, hardening as it did so. “You
won’t get away with this, you know that don’t you?”

He shook his head, “Actually, I believe I am.”

Now just sitting beside her, Drusilla started shaking her head and
laughing. “No. No. No. They’re going to come. I can see them, hear
them. Tss-tss-tsst-tss. Raining, pouring blood. Daddy’s not the only
one mad, and they will all come, and it will be…”

He leaned forward, pushed Buffy away and then slapped Drusilla. “You
will not speak!”

Buffy started to kick forward from where she lay, but right as her leg
almost reached his, a ray of electricity danced from a small taser he had
in his other hand. As she fell even more to the floor, feeling her
muscles tensing and then going numb, he remarked, “I don’t want to drug
you again, slayer.”

>From where she sat, huddled against the wall, Drusilla growled. The man
turned to her as she spit out at him. His eyes burned of fire as he
removed his glasses and started to wipe the spit off. As he placed them
back on and then moved towards her, she remarked, “Mother won’t like you.
Mummy will feed me your heart.”

Ramming her head into the wall, he commented, “You will be silent,” and
then forced her head into the wall again, knocking Drusilla out cold.

>From where she lay on the ground, Buffy found her voice, “You won’t win,
Wesley.”

He didn’t have to retort as a female’s voice stated from the door, “Your
little Scooby gang has no idea who their dealing with, and you will find
you’re quite wrong.”

Wesley smiled, “Tell me, Buffy, have you met my wife, Lilah?”

Buffy frowned as Lilah’s name came to mind, remembering that Faith had
eaten the one from her universe. “The Watchers Council’s in bed with
Wolfram and Heart, how quaint.”

Standing up, Wesley ground the heal of one of his shoes into the palm of
her hand, bones crunching under the pressure. “Thank you for the
affirmation, Buffy.” Kicking her in the head and knocking her out, he
added, “And sweet dreams.”
 

part Ten

Riley looked down, already knowing where the crystal stopped, but still
wanting to see it more clearly. “The Initiative.”

>From where he was standing apart from the group with Xander, Gray shook
his head, remarking, “But the Initiative disbanded after Tara and Riley’s
death.”

“Or maybe they didn’t, and you have been working with them all along. I
wouldn’t put it past you Initiative guys,” commented Spike.

Riley stole a hateful look at Spike. “The only reason you’re blaming the
Initiative, is because of that chip in we put in your head.”

“‘We’ being the operative word here, Riley.”

“Are you accusing me of something, of hurting Buffy?”

Spike almost growled as he remarked, pointing over at Gray, “Not you, the
Initiative in general, and poofy soldier boy over there was a member of
the merry band of buggers here in this universe.”

Xander, standing with his fists balled, retorted, “I don’t think you, of
all people, should be in on this conversation.”

“Oh, and you should? Haven’t you already bloody sold this gang out
before?”

Willow shook her head as she placed a hand on Spike’s arm. “Now isn’t
the time.”

Angel, lightly squeezing Cordelia’s hand, added, “We have to face the
facts. Gray here is our only link to the Initiative.”

Cordy jumped in. “Wait a minute here. Gray isn’t the type to go against
us. Even when we were fighting the Initiative, he was feeding us
information.”

“And how better to fool us, making us think he is loyal by being our
inside man.”

Faith looked over from where she was standing. “Like you should be
talking about loyalty, Oz.”

Xander shook his head, remarking to everyone, “I can’t believe you guys
are even considering this. Gray has always been on your side, and this
is how you repay him, by blindingly stabbing him in the back with
accusations? I guess it goes to show us how much of real friends you
are.” Reaching for Gray’s hand, he added, “Come on, Gray. They don’t
need us.”

Gray looked up from where he was standing, commenting before following
Xander out, “All I have ever been is honest. The Initiative was
disbanded and I was discharged along with everyone else. Whatever is
there, it isn’t the group I belonged to.” Not waiting, he turned as
Xander pulled him through the door, not looking back once as he
disappeared.”

William, who was standing slightly apart from everyone, staying silent,
commented, “He is probably telling the truth. Maybe, whoever has Buffy
is from some place else.”

Cordelia asked in a confused tone, “Some place else?”

Lindsey stepped forward as he suggested, “Maybe it is the Initiative from
the other universe. They would know the location of the secret base, and
if a certain ex-operative was to let them know about this universe…”

“Oh, so now I’m being blamed? Buffy means more to me than anything, and
there is no way I would turn her over to them.”

“Actually, Riley, you’re not the one I am thinking of.”

Tara looked up at the man standing above her, the man she loved. “You
can’t mean Graham.”

Faith frowned as her Angel commented, almost like he was just stating a
simple fact, “He is still in the service, isn’t he?”

Willow shook her head, mirroring Riley. “But he is in a whole different
unit now. The group in our universe was also disbanded.”

Oz reasoned it out. “Their unit was destroyed, home base and all. Maybe
some of them decided to restart, to move to a new location and make a
strike that involved a thorn in their side, Buffy.”

Spike shook his head. “But why strike out at Angel?”

Doyle answered, “Because maybe they’re in cahoots with Wolfram and Hart.
The law firm seemed to be set on destroying Angel.”

Cordelia rolled her eyes. “You are right on at least one thing, but
Graham?”

Spike eyed Graham, not really believing it, but loving the anger he could
feel drifting from Tara. “I got it. Graham here was sent to spy on us
by his secretive Army buddies. While they traveled here, financed by
Wolfram and Hart, he infiltrated our group by playing with what used to
be our local lesbian’s feelings. However, he fell in love with her,
becoming love’s bitch - poor boy - and now, as the Initiative has made
their move by taking Buffy, he is still with us, not being able to leave
as she strings him along, teasing him with a good fuck that he’ll never
bloody have.”

Tara broke out in tears, running out of the room as Willow hit Spike in
the arm. “That was uncalled for, and you know it!”

Graham, who had been silent like his double simply remarked, “I’m going
to check on Tara.”

When Graham walked out of the room, Willow added, “While you guys have
been acting like children, bickering and pointing fingers, I think we
have forgotten the most important part here.”

William and Doyle both started as they felt her gaze land on them. “The
leak!”

Giles cleared his throat as he cleaned his glasses, getting everyone’s
attention. “Yes, well, Will and I think we may have discovered the leak,
and it is, uh, well, me.”

For a few minutes, the room seemed so quiet that you could hear a pin
drop. Everyone was trying to figure out what he was talking about as
Willow commented quietly, understanding almost as soon as Giles mentioned
he was the link, but still taking time to think the impossible through,
“The council.”

Faith shook her head. “But I thought the council was the good guys.”
Giles wouldn’t have her working for the bad guys, would he?

Wills nodded. It pained her to say this, being there were members
pushing for her own instatement into the club. There had always been a
tradition to welcome the children of watchers into the council, and as
the adopted daughter of Giles, his only child, even if it wasn’t by
blood, she was a prime candidate for this. Yes, being a watcher was
something she had been training for, it was a part of her life, and now
she was turning around and saying something against them. “They are, but
there are off shoots, groups that don’t like what we have done here,
especially with us including Angel and William.”

Cordy added, “And the council would know about the base through Giles’
reports.”

Beside her, Cordelia asked, “And aren’t you guys ashamed of yourselves
for blaming Graham and Gray?”

Spike groaned. “Now I guess we’re going to need someone who knows this
world’s Initiative layout.”

“And who is up to that, apologizing to them for being so mean when we
need Gray’s help?” Everyone looked at Willow pointedly as soon as she
asked, not wanting to face Gray after the way they treated him.

A voice from the door commented, surprising everyone, “If you go Willow,
then I’ll go with you.”

Spike looked over at Graham, who was holding onto Tara, his arms wrapped
around her, resting his chin on the top of her head. Moving his gaze to
Tara’s red, tear stained eyes, he apologized, “Sorry mate for the words.”

Tara left Graham’s arms for a second and gently kissed Spike on the cheek
before returning to safety. Graham slightly shrugged. “No problem. I
knew you were being an ass as usual.”

**

(note: this scene takes place when Graham goes to get Tara after Spike’s
hateful speech)

Graham stepped out of the room where the two gangs had gathered to hold
their meeting. Closing the door behind him, he turned down the hall and
started down a small flight of stairs that made their way to the coffee
shop below. Sitting in the middle of the stairs, sat Tara, sniffling as
she wiped the tears from her eyes and then stated crying again. Softly
making his way down the steps, he sat down on the stair above her and
reached out, saying quietly, “You know Spike was just saying all that to
get a rise out of us.”

Tara turned to him and smiled through the salt trails now forming on her
face. Graham reached out, wiping some of her tears away as she said, “I
know. I just… Things have been… Cordy and I talked, and… Okay, there
was me, and then there was Willow, and then there was you… That isn’t
working either.”

Tying to hold in a small bit of laughter as he shook his head and wiped
away another tear, Graham remarked, “We don’t have to talk about this
right now.”

Tara shook her head as she placed a hand over his. “No. I haven’t been
honest with you, and listening to everyone, and then with what Spike
said.”

“Tara, like I said, Spike was just trying to get a rise out of us. The
fact that he said all that actually shows he likes us.”

Nodding, Tara reasoned, “Twisted, but yet true.” Moving his hand from
her face to both her hands in her lap, Tara leaned against the wall and
started as she stared at the hands, not wanting to see his face. “I
loved Willow. She meant everything to me when we were together, but
there was always something that seemed off. Even then, when I was with
her, I knew that we weren’t meant to be, that we had probably met only to
be partners in magick and nothing more. I would go to Scooby meetings,
feeling out of place, and the whole time I would feel his gaze looking at
her. It angered me so much, but it wasn’t because he liked her, it was
because I knew we weren’t going to work, and in the end, she would see
how much he had changed, how much he loved her. There were even nights
that I would lay in bed and cry, thinking that all the pain I felt was
because the one person that I loved, the person I felt so right and happy
with, was not the person for me.”

Graham reached out with his free hand, bringing her chin up to where she
was looking up at him. He had no idea where her train of thought was
going, and it scared him. Trying to hide that fear in his eyes and
voice, Graham restated, “We don’t have to talk about this now.”

Smiling, Tara shook her head. “No. We should have talked about this a
long time ago, but I was blinded. Graham,” she took a deep breath before
going on, “after all this time, I have realized, I wasn’t crying because
I was losing Willow, even though it may have seemed so at the time. I
was crying, because I wanted her, anyone, to share that look for me, that
look of love that I saw in Spike’s eyes.” Smile falling a bit through
her tears, she let go of his hand with one of hers and brought it up to
his face. “Then, one day, I saw you look at me that way, and it scared
me. I thought I should have been with Willow, and part of me was scared
if I returned those feelings, then I would be betraying her. She had
been everything to me, and I thought I was turning my back on her, but I
wasn’t. Willow has Spike. I see that now, and it no longer matters,
because I have you. I love you, Graham Miller.”

Staring at her, Graham tried to take in what she was saying, even after
she had finished. Slowly smiling, he asked quietly, “You love me?”

Tara nodded and laughed as he took her in an embrace and then kissed her,
as she said in between each of them, “It… just hurt so… bad to… hear…”

Graham placed a finger on her lips. “Do you ever stop talking?”

Tara laughed at the joke as she slowly approached him, her lips lightly
touching his after commenting, “That is the first time anyone has asked
me that.”

Deepening the kiss before pulling away, Graham felt himself melt into
her. There was no question in his mind that this was right. Pulling
away, he asked, “Should we get back to the group?”

“Sure, but if they say anything else mean about you, I may have to turn
them into something, being, well…?”

Graham finished for her, knowing that she was looking for an affirmation
on what was exactly between them, “That I’m, well, your boyfriend?”

Throwing her arms around him, she kissed him one last time before
following him up the stairs. “I love you.”

Before opening the door quietly, Graham leaned down and whispered back,
“I love you too.”
 

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