**Part One**

Even for Sunnydale the night was gloomy - the trees whipping back and forth
in the stiff breeze that had blown in with the coming of the new year.
Despite being this far south the air was still chill, freezing one to the
very bone if they stepped foot out of the house without proper clothes on.
Parties raged on inside some of the small, quaint houses even as the wind
stormed on outdoors. On this night they felt they could converge safely
together at night - to ring in the death of the old year as all the beasts
of hell crept the very streets they walked on during the day. Tonight they
would party until dawn and, with only two hours left until the year rolled
over, almost everyone was indoors - spending time with their loved ones.

Except for one bleached blonde vampire.

Walking through the streets with a purpose borne of intense heat, Spike made
his way towards the house of one red haired syren. He didn't feel the heat
of love or desire, but the pure burning heat of rage. His entire body
quivered with the anger he had kept locked up for two months. He could feel
it all the way from his head down to the very tips of his toes as his black
boots pounded through the deserted streets, beating a path to Her door.
Every strand of his hair tingled in his scalp, the nervous energy he had
kept bundled up straining to be let loose.

Tonight he would find out what was going on with Willow - it was his
resolution for the new year, after all.

Everything had seemed fine when she had woken up, the morning after their
little human-vampire switching encounter. She had smiled at him, promising
him that she wasn't going to sob or scream about what had happened. Her
voice had been all too calm when she had explained that she didn't regret
anything - that the dark part of her she had tried to keep locked away from
everyone had enjoyed it - reveled in it. There would be no crying and
screaming from her. He had honestly thought when they made love in her bed
all day that something was going on between them. But when night came and he
left - it all ended.

Despite the passion they had shared.

Despite all they had in common.

Despite the claiming that had taken place.

Despite all that and more she hadn't spoken to him in two long months. But
that wasn't all. She had withdrawn from her friends as well. And they didn't
blink one eye. They 'understood' when she said she 'needed some time to find
herself' and promised to 'keep in touch'. They understood all too well,
talking about it at one of the first meetings after she parted company with
them all. Sure, there had been some tears. But none of them felt the need to
confront her. The Slayer was too caught up in missing her soldier boy and
Xander shagging his orgasm toy to even really care.

But Spike did.

He had come by her house more than once to find that she wasn't there - no
heartbeat filling the stillness of the house he had never once been revoked
from. With sly prying he had discovered she no longer attended any classes
she had once shared with the Slayer. In fact, no one had truly spoken to her
since the night she told them she needed some time to herself. The only
thing that let him know she was still alive was the bond they shared.

And that bond is what was driving him to her house.

It was nothing, really, to someone like him who had experienced the very
depths of pleasure and pain at his Sire's hands. The bond of her claim on
him was there, though, not having faded with her vampire persona. He still
had the faint scar where her fangs had entered his neck, where she had
lapped at his blood and marked him as her own. Though weak, the bond called
to him, making the last few months without her a true living hell. It wasn't
a physical pain, but a pure mental obsession that called to him at any hour
of the day. He needed her. How she could withstand the lure of the bond he
didn't know. Maybe her witchy ways had provided her with some way to
overcome the call.

It didn't matter. Tonight he would get his answers. Tonight he would make
her see that they were meant to be together.

Tonight he would take back what was his.
 

**Part Two**

The house was dark, as usual, when Spike finally made his way up the
sidewalk. With distaste he noted that the grass needed to be cut in the
front lawn - the weeds growing up nearly to his knees even in the dead of
winter. The only sign he had that someone was indeed home was a faint
flutter of light in one of the upstairs windows...and the sound of a
heartbeat.

The heartbeat itself gave him hope that the one object in the world he
craved was within reach. If only she were there he could talk to her, make
her understand that they needed to be together. Take care of anything and
everything that had caused her to withdraw so far from what she had been.
Veering off of the sidewalk and away from the front door, the lanky vampire
moved silently around to the side of the house, his eyes wide as he surveyed
each and every detail. Finally he stopped outside of one of the kitchen
windows, hands with black painted fingernails coming up to gently lift up on
it. With heartbreaking slowness he inched the opening up, careful to not
make the slightest of noise.

When finally there was enough room he hoisted himself up, sliding through
the narrow gap with the ease of someone who had years as a mortal thief on
his side. He dropped down into a crouch on the floor, head cocked to the
side as he listened for any sound of movement in the empty house. Satisfied
that there was none, he stood, glancing about the kitchen warily. It was a
shock, in a way, to find that the room was spotless. Apparently living like
a hermit for the past couple of months hadn't diminished the red head's
sense of neatness. He smiled, remembering the way she had arranged her spell
ingredients 'just right' before each spell. The idea that some things hadn't
changed was heartening in a way, and with a slightly lighter step he moved
out into the living room.

As neat as the kitchen was, if not more so, the living room still showed
some signs of the night they had done the spell together. The remaining
ingredients and spell book had been stacked ever so perfectly on the top of
the small entertainment center, as if Willow had meant to put them away and
never had. He could remember the night with absolute clarity as he lifted
the small knife she had used in his hand. The way they had both blacked out
and woken to find themselves changed. He could remember the glory of seeing
her kill in the streets near the Bronze, the blood flowing around her feet
as they had locked their lips together in passion.

There was a faint thump from overhead, the sound of a footstep on the
overhead floor. He knew from experience that it was coming from her bedroom
- the room they had first consumated their passions in a primal display of
mating. Ignoring the sudden tightness in his jeans, he crept up the stairs,
taking them one by one as he listened out for any sign that she was
approaching him. He wasn't quite ready for her to know he was here. Not
ready for the talk that was to come - if she would speak to him at all.

The door to her room was open partially when he reached the top of the
stairs, the illumination from the single lamp sending a sliver of light into
the hallway. Treading lightly he made his way to the door, holding his
nonexistant breath as he waited to see the sight he had longed for for
months.

It took a full minute of slowly easing the door open before he had it
cracked enough to actually see the object of his desire. When he finally did
the shock of it all hit him and it was hard to stand still.

The fire that had once been so much a part of the red head was quite
obviously gone. There was no sparkle in her eyes as she sat on the floor of
her room, staring up at a small lamp on her nightstand. Her hair hung in
loose locks around her shoulders, freshly washed but not yet brushed, and
even that lacked the life he had come to associate with her. Worse than all
of that, she had lost weight. Not a big deal for most, but for someone who
was already rather thin, it was a shocking change. She was obviously not
starving, yet the nightshirt she was wearing hung loosely around her thin
arms.

His eyes traveled past her and around the room - the room they had made love
in for hours upon hours. The bed, unmade, looked as though it needed a fresh
change of sheets. It took a moment for him to realize that they were, in
fact, the same sheets that had been on the bed the night of their first
tryst. A small nightstand at the head of the bed held a dim lamp, the only
source of light in the entire house at the moment. And, in those dim rays,
he could see medication bottles.

Spike swallowed, taking a shallow un-needed breath as he struggled to
overcome the sadness in his heart. Something had gone wrong with this little
spitfire. Easing the door open, he waited for her to make any motion that
she had seen him. When none came, he stepped fully into the room, coming to
sit in front of her. The glassy unreceptiveness of her eyes was an immediate
cause for worry and he pulled her to him, cradling her body in his arms.
"Red...baby....pet?"

He actually felt a small amount of fear in his heart when she made no move
to answer him. Her dull eyes were unseeing, focused on a spot somewhere
above his head. Shifting her body in his arms, he reached up to the
nightstand, grabbing at two of the bottles. He growled softly when he saw
what they were - pain killers and antidepressants, not the best combination
he could think of.

Placing two cold fingers to her wrist, the vampire listened with both his
ears and sense of touch to the delicate rhythm of her heart. The beat was
strong and steady, a good enough sign he guessed. Lifting her fully into his
arms, he stood slowly, walking out of the now open bedroom door and across
the hall to the bathroom. He laid her into the tub, grimacing as the cold
porcelain touched her all but bare skin.

With deft hands he turned the knob for the shower, making sure it was on all
the way before simultaneously turning both the hot and cold knobs. He felt
the tepid water begin to cascade down onto the prone human and watched for
any sign of life from her.

Green eyes blinked once, then again, as shock set in and, finally, the red
head turned more aware eyes on the person standing over her. Her hands came
up, rubbing at the goosebumps that had formed on her upper arms. "Spike?"

"Yeah, Red. Its me."  He reached for the knobs again, satisfied that she was
at least a little more alert than she had been before. He noticed the slight
shivers coursing through her body and felt a tightening of guilt. "Come on,
pet. Lets get you out of those clothes."

Willow looked up at the vampire, her eyes distant as if she was waging an
inner war. Finally she nodded her head, one short time, before grabbing one
of his proferred hands and levering herself to a standing position. A
visible shudder went through her as he led her to the bedroom, draping a
heavy blanket around her when they finally arrived. "What are you doing
here?"

The blonde haired vampire raised an eyebrow, pulling his cigarettes out of
his pocket and lighting one. "I came to see you because you havent' spoken a
word to anyone in months, luv." The words were strained, his demon fighting
to -show- her that no one ignored him for that long. Not even her.

"I need some time..."

"Away." Spike finished, a low growl starting in his chest. "Yes. I've heard
the excuses." Just being this close to her was maddening, the part of him
she had claimed as her own screaming for the contact it needed. It was an
almost physical ache for him and he longed to have it eased. "I don't buy
it, ducks. Whats going on?"

The red head opened her mouth to retort, her face growing red with anger.
Nothing came out of the round hole of her mouth, though. After a moment of
just staring, speechless, her mouth snapped shut and she sighed, shoulders
sagging. The fight left her in an almost visible wave and then she was
sobbing. She sat on the edge of the bed, hanging her head as the tears slid
off her cheeks. "It hurts, Spike..."

"What hurts, Red?" Sitting next to her, he allowed his demon some comfort in
their closeness, ssating the bond burning within him for at least a moment.

"I couldn't face them..." Willow whispered, taking a new turn in the
conversation instead of answering his question. The tears dripping from her
face landed in wet drops onto the cover shrouding her small body.

"Face them?" Spike groaned, understanding dawning in his mind. "The guilt
caught up to you?"

"No!" Her head shot up, face alight with anger. "The guilt did not catch up
with me. I just didn't want them to know what I had done. I was scared the
Slayer would hunt -me- or Giles would try to do a goddamned exorcism or
something." She laughed darkly. "I can still remember what it was like,
Spikey. I can still taste their blood in my mouth at night when I dream. The
demon is still there...waiting for me to find a way to bring it home again."
She shook her head, clearing her mind of the last remaining bits of
medicine.

"I couldn't face them because I didn't want to have to explain the pain I am
going through." Her smile was bitter. "Did you think that the claiming laid
no effect on me? You are mine...yet you aren't. I know it in my body...my
mind...my soul. I could feel you even when you were no where near me. But
something is missing...its not the same as it was that night...right after."

"Pet...why didn't you call me? I could have tried to help..."

The red head snorted. "And let you see how weak I am? How undeserving I am
to be your mate?" She shook her head, violently. "No. I couldn't." She
snaked a hand out from underneath the blanket, gesturing to a stack of books
near one wall. "I tried to find a way to fix it...but theres nothing. The
only thing that stops the pain is the pills." Again the hand came out, as if
to reach for the bottles.

"None of that." Spike snapped. He grabbed her hand, tracing circles on the
back of it, attempting to sooth her as he calmed his own thoughts. His mind
couldn't quite grasp the idea of thinking she was weak - not his Willow. Not
the girl he had seen do things that rivaled his own cruelty.

Willow leaned into the arms of the creature next to her, the pain that had
taken up home in her body over the past two months subsiding to an almost
bearable point. She yawned, sleep coming quick as the medicines left her
system completely. "I just want the pain to stop... I want to be in control
again..."

Spike could understand where she was coming from. The pain she was feeling
had to be completely different from a normal claiming...yet still just as
frightening and painful. The only thing that puzzled him was that she hadn't
come to him, and even that was understandable to a point - she had her pride
after all. One glance at the clock showed it to be a half hour until the new
year and suddenly, the answer to everything seemed so clear.

The red head looked up at the man holding her when the first soft growl
rumbled through his chest. Her eyes widened as she took in the sight of his
demon out, eyes blazing yellow. "Spike?"

"How about we do something about that pain, Pet? New you for the new year?"
He leaned over, licking lightly along her throat, his demon straining to
bring her back to where she belonged - beside him for eternity.

Her eyes lit up as she understood the meaning of his words. Tilting her head
to the side she closed her eyes, abandoning herself to a fate she had made
one Halloween night. She could almost hear her own demon howl with joy at
the thought of being reunited and, as his fangs pierced her flesh she
whispered. "Sounds good to me."

**The End**

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