I turn my head and watch him leave, head held high.  I know he's proud of
himself, he just told Buffy off in so many words.  Laid our relationship out
on the table for the world to see, and I didn't do a damn thing to deny it.

And I don't know why I didn't deny it.

Wait, yea I do.  I wanted her to know.  I wanted her to know that *I* slept
with Spike.  That was why I did it, right?  To hurt Buffy?  And because I
knew that he could take what I was dishing out.  I knew that I could hit him
as hard as I wanted to, and it wouldn't even phase him.

"Willow, why are you playing these games?  Is it to get my attention?"
Buffy sits at the table next to me, where Spike was sitting moments before.
"All you have to do is say you are sorry."

"Sorry?" I ask.  "Sorry for having a life away from you?"  I stare at her
like she's lost her mind.  I think she has.  Maybe she's screwed Riley too
much and there's not enough oxygen getting to that thick skull of hers or
something.

She looks like she's trying to be gentle with her next words.  She opens her
mouth, then closes it, and frowns in concentration.  I study her face.  She'
s got wrinkles on her forehead and that nose is still turned up. . .you
know, Buffy really isn't as pretty as I thought she was.

"Your life is mine," she says flatly, obviously not finding a better way to
put it.

Oh, yea, I can feel the rage boiling again.  I take a deep breath, then, "My
life belongs to no one but me."

"Yea, as long as you are being a bitch like this.  I don't want you when you
are like this.  What happened to the little mousy Willow Rosenberg I knew in
high school?  The one who smiled all the time and was thrilled to help me
with everything?  Someone to do my research while I slayed?"

I stare at her in shock.  "Is that all I was to you?  Someone to do all the
hard work?"

She shrugs.  "Well, I mean, it's what you are good at."

I narrow my eyes.  "You'd better stop, stop using me up - you'd better stop
cause I've had *enough*!  I'm ready to forget the reasons that keep me
here!"

She laughs with that haughty bitchy little laugh she has.  "You know that if
you walk out of here, you aren't coming back.  I mean it, Willow.  If you
don't think you want to be on my team, then I don't need you.  And your
little *boytoy*?  I'll stake him.  There's no doubt about that."

That's it.  That's the straw that breaks the camel's back.  I stand up, eyes
blazing.  I'm so mad now, I can only see red.  I see her broken body lying
at the ground, covered in blood.  I have to hold back the maniacal laughter
that's swelling up in my chest.  I'm crazy, but I don't need to let *her*
know that.

I grab the front of her shirt and haul her towards me, so our faces are
inches apart.  I can see the shock on her face, as she never expected it to
get physical.  "You touch him and you will wish you never knew what a
vampire was," I hiss.  "I'll hurt you so much, Buffy Summers, you will never
recover.  And don't think I can't do it.  Your best friends, they make the
worse enemies."

Her eyes widen as my words sink in.  "Y. . .you are threatening me?"

"Fuck yea.  Feels good too."

"What has Spike done to you?" she asks softly, almost sadly.

I shake my head.  "Nothing, Slayer.  This was all happening before I found
him last night and fucked the hell out of him."  I grin.  "Didn't even let
the bastard cum before I kicked him out of my bed."  I lick my lips.  "Such
a good lay. . .but then you would know about screwing vampires, wouldn't
you?"

"You are possessed," she whispers.

I tighten my grip on her shirt.  "No, I'm finally letting the real me show
through.  I've had five years of living in a shadow, you know."

Her eyes narrow.  "You know, Willow, if I hadn't of come here, you'd be one
of three places.  A vampire, dead, or the painfully shy, in love with Xander
little girl that you were when I got here."

I didn't even realize I slapped her until I felt the tingling in my hand.  I
flex my hand with a grin.  "Come on, bitch.  Want me to do it again?  Huh?
I can slap you again."

"Why?" she asks.  "Why are you doing this?"

I'm laughing now.  I don't know what's come over me.  I know I sound
delirious, and perhaps I am.  "You gotta give it up to get off sometimes."

"What are you talking about?"

"I hate you, Buffy.  None of this would have ever happened if you weren't
such a damn *bitch*!  If you actually cared about the people that helped you
save the damn world!"  I'm screaming at the top of my lungs.  The band has
stopped playing, and people are looking at me.  I turn, a grin filtering
over my features.

It's strange, you know?  Normally, I don't like the attention, but now, I
thrive on it.  I turn back to Buffy.  "After everything I've done for you. .
."  I cackle, running my hands through my hair.  "You think that you will
honestly survive much longer if you don't have me by your side?  And you
think that if I were to walk away from you and towards Spike that you would
survive even a day?"

"You *wouldn't*," she says.

I laugh.  "Yea, I think that I am."  I turn, and walk away from her.

I hear scattered clapping, people cheering me on for standing up to Buffy.
I know most of them have no clue on what the hell I was talking about for
most of the fight, but I didn't give a shit.

I could feel the darkness, the urge to throw him down, to ride him hard, to
have him plunge into me, over and over. . .

My hands automatically tense into a fist and I'm growling softly.  I'm
walking through Sunnydale.  Not surprisingly, no one bothers me.  I know he
is in my house, I know he's waiting for me.  Hoping I'm angry enough to
impose on him, or waiting to kill me.

Somehow, I don't think he wants to kill me. . .

I throw open the door to my room, and he's lying there, lounging on my bed.
He turns those beautiful blue eyes to me, smiling coldly.  "So, you and
Bitchy friends again?" he asks.

"I want her lying at my feet, begging for her life."

An eyebrow rises.  "We can have that arranged, pet."

I roll my eyes and sit down on the bed.  "I don't want to kill her.  Not
really.  The thought is nice now, when I'm feeling the Dark Side, but
tomorrow morning, after I've screwed you all night long, I would regret it."

He runs a hand up my thigh, teasing, titillating me.  "Red," he purrs, "don'
t ever lose the fire.  It's intoxicating.  I can't get you out of my bloody
head."

I turn to him.  "All the times I've given in, you fit me. . .like a second
skin.  One by one, I will begin to wear you on the days I'm feeling thin."

He brushes his fingertips along my cheek.  "You can bloody wear me whenever
you need to, Red.  I want to possess that fire in you, I want it for myself.
I want to watch your face explode as I make you quiver underneath me."  He
grins, and I can see the bloodlust in his eyes.  "I want to cover your body
in blood and lick it off."

I put my hand on his chest.  "Spike," I say softly.  "Promise me something."

He frowns.  "I don't do promises, Red."

I look up at him.  "I don't want Xander to be hurt."

He blinks, then studies me.  "That's all?  Don't let Chubs get hurt?"

"That's it.  I don't care who else you hurt or kill.  I just don't want
Xander to get hurt.  And I'd really be kinda upset if Giles was hurt. . ."

"But I can break the Slayer's neck?" he ask, his eyes lighting up with
childlike glee.

I smile.  "I want to be there when you do it."  I lean forward and brush my
lips against his.  "Promise me.  No hurting of Xander."

"You will be all mine if I make this promise?"

I smile, running my fingers down his cheek.  "Yea," I answer.

"Promise," he growls.  I squeal as he pounces on me, pushing me over to
ravage me.

I know Spike has control tonight, and for some reason, I don't mind.  I like
the idea of losing myself in him, to him, for his pleasure.  I lose myself
in him, giving him all that I can, everything that I am.

What was it I told Buffy earlier?

You gotta give it up to get off sometimes.
 

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