I glanced around, my eyes glittering with desire.  I could feel it. . .I
could feel the heat between the two of us.  Something had changed,
something was finally in place.

He wanted me.  He wanted all of me, and I wanted to give him all of myself.
I knew he was offering eternity, and that was fine with me.  At least I'd
never be alone again.

"Where are we going?" I asked, wondering why he was leading us towards the
dorms.

He smirked, a familiar look of evil mischievous in his eyes.  "I figured you
had a few things left in the dorm you needed to get. . ."

No, Spike, I thought, I got everything of mine out a couple of days ago.  I
opened my mouth to tell him that when he stopped and put his fingers on my
lips.  "Trust me, Witch, there's something there you need."

I shrugged, kissed his fingers, and continued to walk.

~*~*~*~

The Slayer always had a temper.  If things didn't go her way, she would
explode, or run.  She was a self-centered bitch at times, but I had loved
her.  I really did.  She was the best girlfriend I'd ever had. . .I never
had girlfriends growing up.  It was always Xander and Jesse.  When Buffy
came to town. . .

I let myself in the dorm room quietly, knowing that she wasn't there.  I
glanced around and frowned, seeing a pile of pictures on my now empty
dresser.  She had moved some of her stuff there.  I walked to the dresser,
brushing my fingers over the torn pictures, noticing she had torn me out of
every one of them.

"That. . .that. . ."

"Bitch?" Spike supplied quietly.  He was standing in the middle of the room,
hands locked behind his back, watching me with those blue eyes.  They were
filled with anger, hate - I knew that it pained him to be in this room and
not destroy something.

Now that was a nice thought.

Destroying something of hers, something important.  I didn't want to hurt
*her* - not physically anyway.  She was, after all, the Slayer, and helped
protect people.  She was good at her job.  More innocent people would die if
Spike hurt her and another Slayer came to town.  No one was as good as
Buffy.

It was amazing, how she could make her face just like a wall. . .how she
could take her heart and turn it off - how I could turn my head and lose it
all.  I knew our friendship was over.  I had officially chosen Spike over
her.

And somehow, I didn't think the bleached wonder minded one bit.

I suspected he had a great future planned for us, one filled with long days
of sex and blood; long nights of violence and gore, entrails and other vital
human organs.

I welcomed the darkness.  I was so tired of being the dependable one, the
one everyone knew could fix everything.  I wanted to lash out and hurt her,
hurt Giles, hurt everyone in Sunnydale.  I wanted to bring them to their
knees.

I wanted to stand on the hillside, surrounded by fire, calling out to the
Goddesses of the Night, imploring them to do my bidding and destroy the town
and every single insignificant being within it.  Not once has someone said,
"Thank you for saving our sorry miserable existences from being sucked into
hell, Willow.  You are the greatest."  I knew that if I ever went on *that*
particular rampage, everyone would suffer - everyone but my lover, and my
Xander.

I wasn't saying there wasn't nothing wrong. . .I just didn't think Buffy
would ever get tired of me.  I thought. . .I thought I was her best friend.
I wasn't saying we ever had the right to hold on. . .I just didn't wanna let
it get away from me.

But it was too late for that now.

Lines had been drawn.  I took my side, she pushed me over the edge.  My eyes
flickered up to Spike's.  He was watching me curiously, probably wondering
what was going through my mind.

I glanced behind him at Buffy's bed, a slow grin spreading on my lips.  I
know I looked evil.  I had to have.  Spike shifted, balling his hands into
fists.  He almost looked like he was ready to throw me against the wall and
pound into me.

"Mr. Gordo," I said softly.

"Huh?" Spike answered, turning to follow my gaze.

The pink pig, Buffy's childhood and most precious item in the world, sat
innocently on the bed at her pillow.  I could see the carnage in my head,
the reaction. . .Buffy walking in the dorm room and dropping to her knees
with a scream amongst the ripped pink fluffy fur and the white stuffing.

It was going to be beautiful.  I almost wished I would be here to see it.

But if that was how it was gonna leave, Buffy, straight out from underneath.
. .then we would see who was sorry now.  If that was how it was gonna stand,
when you *know* you've been depending on the one you're leaving now. . .the
one you're leaving out.

Buffy Summers, the Slayer, thought that she could handle it - thought she
could handle being my enemy.  She thought that I would be just as passive
against her as I was for her.

Boy, she was in for a surprise.

A malicious grin covered my features as I stalked Mr. Gordo.  The pig - the
only thing Buffy ever had that stayed with her and never betrayed her -
would be my first calling card to the Slayer.

A laugh left my lips playfully.  This was going to be a good night.
 

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