Spike tried to comfort Willow but all she wanted to do was hold
onto him. She wouldn't let go, Buffy and the others tried to help her
but all she'd do was shy away from them and beg Spike to get rid of
them. "What am I going to do?" Spike wondered.
***
In the opposite end of the ship, a woman was frantically moving
around her cabin smashing everything into millions of tiny pieces. "It
was never meant to happen this way!" She yelled, "Andy was meant to tell
all. When I get my hands on him, he'll wish he'd never been born."
***
Willow was scared. Scared of the darkness, scared of the light.
Scared to sleep, scared to stay awake. All she could see was the dream,
played in her mind over and over again, and the feel of Spike's arms
around her. "Don't leave me Spike," she murmured as she eventually fell
into slumber. "Don't let the light come and take you away from me."
***
Spike tried to control his patience, he tried to keep his anger
under control. But all he wanted to do was grab the person that had made
his little spitfire into a hollow mouse and torture them till they knew
what pain meant. "They'll never get away with this," He promised Willow
tightening his embrace.
***
"You were meant to tell her you bastard!" The woman yelled.
"I haven't had chance to. The change is too sudden," he replied.
"The CHANGE! I've been planning this for 18 years, you don't go telling
me that the change is too sudden."
"Well EXCUSE me, but this isn't my daughter we're talking about and if
you want it all done quicker you do it yourself." Andy yelled back
slamming the door.
"My poor baby," the woman said in a quieter tone. "I need to do
something and yet I cannot. Not if I ever want her to know the truth and
still be able to know me."

Part 12

Willow slept on and dreamt of animals, demons and those who wandered
day and night for eternity. And minute by minute, she knew more of her
destiny, no matter how jumbled it seemed. The third day into the
journey, her brain was swimming and she was desperate to get out of her
cabin. Spike was acting strangely and wouldn't let her out of his sight
but she managed to convince him to let her out for a while. They went
over to the small coffee bar, that the others had been meeting at to
research why everything was happening to her. Entering the coffee bar,
Willow wondered if they'd found out anything. If not, what was she going
to do?
***
Giles was confused, they'd been searching through the books he'd
brought with him for hours. While going the books on disc that Willow
had brought with her, with her laptop. But they hadn't found a thing.
"What is going on?" Giles muttered to himself.
***
"Found anything?" Willow asked Giles, hopefully.
"Well, um... I haven't got all my books with me, and I um..." Giles
began.
"Cut the bloody crap," Spike said getting annoyed, "You've either found
something or you haven't."
"No, we haven't found anything useful," Giles replied defeatedly, "But
we'll keep on looking. What did the doctor say?"
"He couldn't explain it, just said it could be bad migraines." Willow
answered him.
"I can tell you what's going on," a voice called out from the doors of
the coffee bar.

Part 13

The Scooby Gang turned around at Andy's voice. He walked over,
nervously fiddling with the corner of his shirt.
"Andy?" Willow said in shock, "But what, you, how?"
"My real name is Andy, i'm a demon and i'm an old friend of your
mothers. She agreed to help me... with something, but in exchange I had
to do something for her."
"So that's why you've been hanging around us," Buffy said.
"Partly yes," Andy admitted.
"It's ok Andy," another voice called out, "I'll take it from here."
"Hey, you aren't Will's mom," Xander blurted out.
"Not her adopted mom," the woman standing at the doors replied, "Her
biological mom."
"What?" Willow said.
"Let me start from the beginning," the red-haired woman said wearily,
sitting down at the table.
***
"My name is Regina Du Morte and I was born into an old rich
family that has been around since the beginning of time on this planet.
It might sound strange but it was always the women who had the power in
my family. The first woman of my family was called Iona and had
unbelievable powers that allowed her to take the form of any creature or
demon she wanted. She used her powers for good at the time, but fell in
love and married her soul mate. She soon conceived a child, a daughter
whom she named Psyche. Their daughter when she turned eighteen,
inherited her mother's powers and her mother in turn died after her
daughter inherited her powers.
Psyche married a man and they too had a daughter but her husband
died and she re-married. She gave birth to twins, a girl and a boy. The
first daughter turned eighteen and did not inherit her mother's powers.
The daughter was a rebel and Psyche thought that her first daughter was
dammed as she did not receive her powers. But when her second daughter
turned eighteen she received her mother's powers causing her mother to
die. It was the second daughter who inherited her mother's powers, as
the daughter who received the powers had to be conceived from true love.
The first daughter had been born from an arranged marriage lacking the
love needed.
Since then, the first daughter of each generation in the family
has conceived a daughter with their soul mate, causing the child to
inherit her mother's powers. When I inherited my powers from my mother,
I soon met the most wonderful man. We fell in love and I was devastated
to find out that I was pregnant. It meant that I only had eighteen years
to left to live. It would mean that I would die at thirty-six. I was
adamant that I would not die. I put up my daughter up for adoption as
soon as she was born. As you know by now, that daughter was Willow.
Forgive me if I seem harsh Willow, but I was young and naive. I felt
that if I managed to get rid of you, you would grow up not knowing the
history of your family and that you wouldn't inherit my powers. But I
grew up and by the time I realized the error of my ways, you had grown
up yourself. I couldn't just barge into your life and lay this on you."
"Then why did you decide to tell her now?" Spike hissed.
"Guilt. I decided I couldn't tell you myself and that's where Andy came
in. He was to explain it all to you before the change causing you to
inherit the powers. But it was too late. You were having the dizzy
spells, the dreams. I know it's my time to die. I only hope I have your
forgiveness before I leave this level. I'm sorry." Pushing back her
chair, she smiled sadly at Willow, "I love you, if you need me. I'll be
waiting for you." She walked quickly out of the room, leaving the others
in silence.
Willow looked up at Giles, "I'm... i'm..."
"... A shapeshifter." Giles said finishing her sentence.

Part 14

Willow sat at a table in a dark corner of the nightclub while
the others reluctantly danced. Even Giles had been persuaded to get up
on the dance floor. She just needed some time to think, without silence
and the others attempting to somehow console her. "I mean, why are they
trying to console me?" She wondered outloud, "It's not like all this
could have been prevented. I've just got to deal..." A soaring pain ran
through her body, clutching her stomach she shuddered as her body
changed form into a water demon. Before changing back to it's normal
appearance just as quickly.
Shaking she stammered out, "I, I guess... that's n-normal." But
if that was normal, then her mom must be slowly dying. Her mom... all
this time all that pressure her so-called parents had put on her, all
this time she had strived to please them. And for what?
"Penny for your thoughts," A voice said interrupting them.
"What?" Willow asked turning her attention to the owner of the voice.
"It's not good to keep them all locked up inside." Andy told her.
"What if it hurts even more to say them outloud?" She asked, a sad smile
playing on her lips.
"The pain is nothing compared to the feeling of loneliness," he replied,
his mind drifting.
"Penny for them," she said jokingly.
"What? Oh, yer..."
"Is she ok?" Willow asked him in a small voice.
"No, but then that's to be expected."
"Right..."
"She'd love to see you," he said intercepting her thoughts.
"I don't know if I could. How long... How long does she, well."
"Days at the most. Do it before it's too late."
***
Willow hesitated in front of the door that Andy had given her
the number of. Taking a deep breath, she whispered, "Breathe Willow,
don't forget to breathe. Raising her hand, the door opened and a voice
whispered, "I've been hoping you'd come."

Part 15

She was sitting at the window seat of her large cabin, staring
out of the window into the endless blanket of darkness. "Don't be
afraid," she told her, never changing her position, not even to turn her
head. "You're strong, so strong. You won't act like I have done."
"I thought those kind of things ran in the family," Willow answered,
trying to break the ice but somehow the sharpness in her voice gave away
the emotions she was trying to keep below the surface.
"Don't be angry, I need to explain," her head turned around and her
emerald green eyes bore into Willow's.
"Take your time, it's not like I have anywhere to run."
"But I have," she murmured under her breath. "I need you to forgive me
Willow, I need to be able to die knowing my only cild doesn't despise
me."
"Despise you? I don't even know you. I have been around for eighteen
years and every time I think I have some grasp on my life, something
happens and reality changes. First with Buffy and then with my own
identity. Do you realize how many times I thanked my lucky stars that I
wasn't like Buffy? That my future wasn't decided, that I could be who I
wanted to be? How many times I pitied her? And now she's doing the same
for me? I may not despise you, I may be able to forgive you, but I will
NEVER forget what you've done."
"You think that I wanted this destiny too?"
"No, but you had eighteen years to come to terms with it before it
happened. I have but days." Tears now threatening to flow, she gulped.
"I-I have to go."
"Please Willow wait," She jumped up and grasped Willow's wrist. "There's
something else."
"What?" She asked, her voice softer as she lost her grip on her hate and
somehow wishing her mom would take her in her arms and sing lullabies to
her until she fell asleep. "Get a grip Willow," she thought.
"This is yours," she replied handing her a large silver bound book. "It
will be able to help you when I no longer can, maybe you'll also be able
to understand my actions."
Fury gripped Willow, fury at how she had let herself fall into a dream
where her mom would want to be with her. Fury at how her mom hadn't.
"Thanks," she mumbled before fleeing the cabin.
Iona stood watching her, "Please be safe Willow, please
understand your destiny," she called after her, although she knew she
couldn't be heard. She turned back, taking one last glance at the stars
before closing the cabin door behind her.

Part 16

Willow had been staring at the silver bound book for an hour. Buffy
sighed, "What am I going to do with her?" She wondered, "If she doesn't
snap out of it soon i'll go mad." Staring at Willow and sending mental
signals to her to wake up, she sighed again. "And what the hell is she
doing listening to classical music? That's *so* not Willow."
As if a light had been turned on inside her head she jumped up. "I
know how to help you Will, even if I have to do a little persuading,"
she yelled mentally to her, before adding outloud. "I'm sorry but I
completely forgot. I... I have this thing I have to do. I'll be back
soon. Just remember, don't do anything I wouldn't do."
***
Hearing Buffy's voice somewhere in the pool of her thoughts, she
nodded. Feeling like she had the weight of the world on her shoulders
and in her mind. Willow fell into a troubled sleep.
***
"Really," the Captain said, "You do know that this is going to
interrupt the cruise's entertainment plan."
"Of course, but it will mean so much to her, with her birthday and all,"
Buffy replied.
"Hmmm."
"We'll pay for anything extra, just charge it to Mrs Regina Du Morte's
account. Willow's her daughter," she said, "And deserves something after
what she's put her through," she added mentally.
"Miss Du Morte's daughter? Why didn't you say so sooner? Of course it
would be an honour for us to put on a party for her."
"Thanks," Buffy said smiling sweetly at him before leaving the cabin.
"Get your party hat on Willow, cause you're in for one hell of a ride,"
Buffy muttered under her breath.

Part 17

Spike shook his head, he didn't know how the two had done it but
they'd managed to get the captain to arrange a party for Willow,
courtesy of the Slayer's charms. Though how anyone could be attracted to
her was beyond him. She'd get off with anyone. And Cordy had managed to
find the perfect dress.
He only hoped Willow would like Buffy's idea or he might have to
turn the Slayer into a midnight snack. "Slayer blood," he murmured,
unconsciously licking his lips. He was brought back to reality by Angel
thrusting the dress into his arms. "Daddy dearest, how kind of you," he
said adjusting his position to hold it without creasing it.
"You'd better remember that the next time you try and hurt Buffy."
"Hurt Buffy?" Spike replied in mock horror. "Never."
"I know you Spike, anything for a laugh."
"I've changed."
"So have I."
"Into a lapdog," he muttered as he sauntered away, Angel scowling after
him.

***
Willow's eyelashes fluttered as she opened her eyes. Yawning,
she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. GLancing at her alarm clock, the
green digital time flashed back at her. 5 o'clock at night. The night
of her birthday. "Yay, another useless year has passed me by," she
muttered, "And what have I got to show for it. A whole big agglomeration
of pain. Life doesn't get much better than this." She fell out of bed
and wandered into the shower.
Stepping out an hour afterwards, her eyes travelled around the
cabin dotted with familiar items. They travelled past a dress, draped
over a chair. A dress? She walked over to the chair. Eagerly taking in
every sequin, magically sewn onto the sun yellow material. She looked
around the room checking to see no-one was about, like a child who's
spotted their christmas presents and doesn't want to be told off for
playing with them before the big day.
Smiling secretively she put the dress on, staring at her
reflection in the mirror she smiled. Suddenly there was a knock on the
door. "Come in," she replied.
Xander stood at the door, open mouthed and in a suit. "I'm... i'm here
to escort you... to the party." He extended his hand. "Want to go to the
ball? Or run off with me into the sunset? I'll even through in your own
pocket-knife."
"That's tempting Xander, but i've decided to face my problems."
"Good for you."
"I can still have the pocket knife, can't I?"

Part 18

Willow felt like a princess. She'd arrived at the party to find
the rest of the gang there and what appeared to be, the entire ship. And
then she'd seen Spike. Willow's lips curved into a childish grin as she
thought back to the vision of Spike dressed in a tux. She'd almost
fainted, all Spike ever wore was black pants and a red shirt. But he'd
made the effort and she'd have to show him how much it meant to her. Her
mind trailed off with thoughts of how she could show her appreciation.
"Are you having a good time Red?" Spike's voice whispered into
her ear. His cold breath sent a shiver down her spine and he pulled her
closer.
"It's perfect," she replied as they dodged another dancing
couple heading straight into them. "Though you could have warned me, i'd
have taken dancing lessons."
Spike let out a low chuckle. "I'm always available-" He was cut
off as the crowd gathered around the dancefloor let out a low murmur.
Coming to an abrupt halt, the couples turned around to see what had
caught everyone's attention.
There stood Regina, clothed magnificently in a pale blue dress.
But she was clutching to a nearby chair, eyes sunken and gasping for
breath.
"Regina?" Willow breathed.

Part 19

Suddenly as if in slow motion, Willow could see Angel and Andy
go to steady Regina and carry her off into a dark corner of the room.
The party after a while carried on, but everyone shot glances every now
and then to the woman who looked like she was about to pass out.
But Willow, Willow stood there in shock like the air in her
lungs had just been sucked out of her. Gone where the earlier ecstatic
and happy emotions. And in their place sat feelings of hatred towards
her mother, that she could interrupt her life in this manner again. But
mostly she felt the feeling of the Angel of Death. Sitting on her
shoulder, laughing at the irony of the situation and the fact that she
was about to lose someone else. Someone she'd never have the chance to
know or to understand, or to even love. Tears pricked at her eyes,
threatening to surface and envelop her in their depths.
And then there was Spike, who was gently pushing her over to
were her mother sat. Whispering soothing words into her ear and telling
her it was time to say goodbye. Telling her not to make the mistake most
of us do.
"I'm sorry, i'm just so sorry," Willow managed to say, before
the tears gushed forth from within her, and she fell to her knees.
Grasping her mother's legs as if they were a lifeline, and if she was
able to hold them tight enough it would somehow stop her mother from
slipping away.
"Shush," her mother replied, stroking Willow's hair. "You never did
anything wrong. Remember that. I need you to promise me that you'll
never blame yourself. I shouldn't have abandoned you."
"No you did what you thought was right," Willow said shaking her head
and turning to look at her mother.
"I love you Willow," she whispered, her voice tight and raspy.
"I love you too... mom," She replied, just as Regina's eyes closed and
her head fell forward.
"NOOO!" Willow screamed, trying to shake her mother awake. But was
stopped as her body began to ache. It flashed an off-white colour,
changing it's appearance to a unicorn. Then back to normal as Willow lay
unconscious on the floor.

Part 20

There's one thing I'm sure of is
that we will always be
Even though the road seems
to get a little rough
It's for you I live I can do anything
And it will never be too much**

Willow managed to smile as the coastline of Italy came into
view. "Not a palm tree to be seen," she murmured under her breath. Her
eyes travelled down to her lap where a silver bound book lay. She had
found out the previous night when the time had come to pack and the pain
had subsided a little, that it was a diary.

**In my darkest hour you are
there to light the way
And when I'm down you
always lift me up again
Oh, oh, oh, oh
You know me
better than I know myself
You comfort me and let me know
with you I'm gonna win**

The first woman of her family had started it, injected into it's
pages, her hopes, fears and dreams. In a funny, comforting way it
reminded her of the Watcher diaries. And in that funny comforting way it
had helped her get through these first few days and would continue to do
that for the rest of her life.

**Walk with me hand in hand
We help each other
understand how to go through
There will never be a day
that we'll grow apart
So we'll forever be
together hand in hand**

"It's time to go Red," Spike's voice said as he appeared next to
her. Taking one last glance at the coastline, Willow breathed in deeply
and clutching the diary in one hand and Spike's hand in the other. She
followed him off the ship. And as the others started with their friendly
mickytaking and jibes, she smiled and muttered under her breath,
"Unforgettable is good."

**Sometimes I'm wrong
and even in that case
You didn't go away you
stayed right next to me
As time goes on I realize
that you're for me
And I will love you for eternity.**
 

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