Never Know My Sin
Author:  Julia du Mais
Rating:  PG-a bad word or two, but nothing really evil.
Distro:  Anywhere, but I'd love to know, because it gives me such a happy!
Romances:  Hmm...let's think.  How about Spike/Willow?
Feedback:  Duh, yes!  Flames will be returned in varying degrees of evilness, though, so watch where you point those flamethrowers.
Dedicated:  To my best friend Jennifer, for being the first person I knew to confirm that I wasn't a freak and that Spike and Willow really would make a cute couple.
Disclaimer:  Whedon, Mutant Enemy, WB, et al.  The title and lyrics are from Melissa Etheridge's song 'Angels Would Fall', which I hold no rights to, either.
 

Chapter One

Buffy pretended not to notice it happening again.  Every night for the past couple of weeks, it had been happening. Whenever Willow went somewhere alone, Buffy had sensed the remnants of a presence about her.  An unmistakeable sense of restrained evil. Whenever she was going anywhere by herself, or with Xander or Tara-basically whenever she was unescorted by the Slayer herself-that presence clung to her, like cobwebs to rafters.

Spike.

At first, Buffy had been worried.  And angry.  Anger had been a definite part of it.  Had he been lying all along?  Trying to get close to them to make taking them out easier?  Did he want a love spell again, for Harmony this time?  Was he planning to force her to perform a spell that would combat the Initiative's implant?  Did he want revenge for that icky betrothal-to-the-Slayer thing?

It had taken all of her strength not to grab him one night, tie him up in their room, and watch the sun rise with him.  Some tiny little instinct inside of her told her to wait a little, to hold her hand for just a little while longer.

So one night, she'd followed along after him.
 

Willow had tired of Bronzing with the rest of the gang, and had left alone.  Buffy had sensed Spike since they'd arrived a couple hours before-he'd been hanging out in an alley behind the club.  About five or ten minutes after the redhead departed, Buffy sensed his presence growing weaker as he headed off after her.  About ten minutes after that, Buffy excused herself, following silently behind them.  It was strange, trying to follow his presence in the dark.  She was reminded of playing Marco Polo in the pool when she was a child.  She'd been trying to hear the ephemeral wingbeats of angels, to grasp a spider's gossamer thread.

But she caught up soon enough, and watched from a distance as the vampire followed silently along behind her friend.  Buffy surveyed him suspiciously, creeping silently along, about three hundred feet behind.

And then it happened.

Something silent lunged out of the darkness between Spike and Willow, trailing behind the witch silently.  That unmistakeable alarm had gone off inside of Buffy-a vampire.  Her hand tightened around the stake in her pocket, and she began to speed up.  But she soon realized that this thing wasn't one of Spike's old buddies, that it wasn't even aware of his presence.

So it never saw him coming.

Without a sound, Spike attacked, grabbed the vamp, and dragged him off into the shrubs.  Buffy felt the flame of the other vampire's presence go out.  A moment later, Spike emerged, dusting his hands off.  He'd only lost a few yards on Willow, so quickly had he killed the thing.

And still, Willow remained unaware.

Buffy frowned to herself.  The plot was thickening.  Sure, Spike was so desparate to kill something that he would resort to killing his own kind, that, if it came to it, he would even protect the Slayerettes, but only if he happened to be passing by or there was something really good in it for him.  The former possibility was ruled out by the fact that he seemed to have been 'escorting' Willow, as it were, for the past couple of weeks, and the latter by the fact that Buffy would just as easily have protected her for nothing.

So...he was doing this out of the goodness of his heart (so to speak)? That didn't fit either.  Buffy found the idea of a Spike protective of the Scooby gang irreconcileable with the bloodthirsty demon she knew him to be.

Had Giles or someone offered him something to protect her?  She discarded that idea as soon as it occured to her.  No way.  They would have been well aware that Buffy could take care of her friend just as easily-and would do it for free.

But Buffy shook off the suspicion for now.  It would just distract her now; there would be time to ponder Spike's apparent change of heart later.  For now, she had to see what else, if anything, was going to happen.

By that point, the strange procession had been halfway to the dorm. The rest of the trip was largely uneventful, so Buffy ended up with plenty of time to muddle over the situation.  And Buffy was one hell of a muddler.

When Willow reached the dorm, she hurried inside, still unaware of the two figures following her.  Spike strolled around to the side of the building, staring up through the window as he casually lit up a cigarette.  Buffy stayed a safe distance away, where he wouldn't see or sense her, and watched, her suspicion back in full swing.  Was he hoping for some cheap thrills?

Apparently not.  As soon as Willow's shape was visible through the window, Spike nodded to himself, seemingly reassured.  He stood there another few moments, finishing off his cigarette.  When he'd ground it into the dirt with his heel, he turned and headed back the way he'd come.

She wasn't sure what to do.  Stay?  Don't let him see her?  Run inside and tell Willow?

She decided to go inside for now, and decide what to do later.  She played casual as she strode toward the dorm, and slowed as she reached him.

"Evening, Slayer," he said lightly, with barely a glance down at her.

"Hey, Stalk-oops, Spike," she said, shooting him a glare.  He frowned.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

She didn't answer, only stared up at him for a few moments, then turned and headed for the dorm.
 

read the sequal 'Never Know My Sin II'

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