----------------------------------------------------------------------
---------------------------------

Willow's complexion paled noticeably as she repeated her question;
"Oz is back?" She looked at Giles and Buffy who both nodded silently,
obviously not knowing what to say. Then she looked to Spike. His
bruises weren't going away as quickly as they could, given that he
hadn't fed lately. The bridge of his nose was purple and a bit
swollen. Willow knew that it would surely be broken if not for his
demon strength. Both cheekbones were also bruised, although not as
bad. "And he did this to you?" She asked him, taking a step closer.

Spike could sense the barrage of different emotions coursing through
her as she assimilated the information. He nodded at her, willing her
not to break eye contact. He was amazed at the slight fear he felt at
the thought of losing her. He had to be very careful how he handled
the whole situation. Don't push too hard again, Spikey my boy. He
advised himself. He searched her eyes for answers to the questions he
dared not ask, but she looked away before he could find them.

"I...I think I'd like to go home." Willow said quietly as she started
toward the door.

"Willow," Giles began as he touched her elbow, "I know that this is
difficult for you but we must find Oz before the next sunset. He
fully plans on coming for Spike."

"I know. I just can't deal with the whole plan thing right now.
Please, just fill me in on it tomorrow." She pleaded with unfallen
tears in her eyes and Giles finally released his gentle hold. She
looked at Spike. "Walk me home?"

Again Spike only nodded, afraid at what might come out of his mouth
if he opened it. He walked her out of the watcher's apartment and
down the street. Walking next to Willow had never felt so awkward.
Part of him wanted to touch her but another part was unsure if that
would make matters worse or not. He didn't quite know what to do, so
he decided to do nothing and see what Willow did.

Willow led the way to her parents' empty house. The last place she
wanted to be was in the dorms, especially when she knew that Buffy
probably wouldn't be back until morning, and she also did not want to
be alone. The news had shocked her to say the least; it was the last
thing she had expected to hear. Why now? Why now when she had finally
begun to move on? And why the hell didn't Spike say anything?
Anything at all? Did he even want to be here with her right now? Oz
had tried to kill him earlier, and failed. What had Spike done to him
in retaliation? How much damage was Oz in, how much pain right now?
Willow couldn't help but feel a little something come over her when
she thought of Spike beating the shit out of her ex. Did she still
love Oz? She didn't think so, but there was definitely something that
was left behind. Was it simply the need for closure? They completed
their silent walk to the porch where Willow dug out her keys. She
turned to Spike, "Come in." It was almost a question. Did he even
want to?

Spike walked into the house, closing the door behind him. He looked
around, "nice place."

Willow rolled her eyes, "Please, it's the most unlived-in home in the
state of California." She plopped herself down on the couch. She was
exhausted.

Spike sat across from her, watching her for any signs that might tell
him what to do. Should he go over and seduce her into staying with
him, or would that only drive her away? Oz's laughter came back to
him as he told the vampire how Willow would hate him if he killed the
werewolf.

"Say something." Willow's voice cracked.

"What?" Spike said, almost surprised to hear her voice.

"Say something!" Willow practically yelled. "Say something! Say
anything! You haven't said a damned word since the whole Oz thing
came up!"

"I…I don't know what to say." Spike stammered, taken completely
aback
by Willow's expressiveness.

Willow stood and yelled at the vampire, "For starters why don't you
tell me why the hell he attacked you?"

Spike sat back in the chair, "He saw us together when I walked you
back to the dorms. I guess he wasn't ready for that."

Willow crossed her arms over her chest as a frustrated tear rolled
down her cheek. "Me? He did that to you because of me?"

"No, Willow, that's not what I meant. He got angry, that's all."
Spike couldn't believe she was crying. What did he do now? He didn't
know if he should soothe her or let her cry it out or what! He'd
never had to deal with this before. With Dru it was always
accompanied by mindless rambling, but Willow was actually hurting
inside. Spike felt what he thought was panic creep into his still
chest.

It was all Willow could take to see the ugly marks left by Oz on
Spike's beautiful face. She stormed into the kitchen, "Fine!" she
yelled behind her.

Spike stood and started to go after her when he heard the slamming of
a drawer and metal rattling. Willow came back into the livingroom
with a large knife in her hand. At first Spike thought she was going
to go after him with it but then she grabbed the blade of it with her
left hand.

The blade was cool against her sweaty palm and she braced herself for
the impending pain. "I can't look at what he did to you." She gripped
the knife with both hands, one on the sharp blade and one tightly
around the handle. In one quick motion she yanked the knife out of
her hand, slashing her left palm, screaming out in pain as she fell
to her knees.

"Willow, no!" Spike ran to her, "Bloody hell woman! What have you
done?" He grabbed her hand to get a look at her wound and she shoved
the bleeding gash to his lips.

"Here." She said between sobs, "Drink, heal yourself."

Spike had to blink himself back to reality. He grabbed her wrist,
letting the blood drip down her arm. "No!" he growled. "Don't you
ever hurt yourself again, do you hear me?" He left her there,
bleeding, as he ran up the stairs to find the bathroom. In it he
found a small first aid kit. Willow was still crying on the floor,
holding her bloody fist to her chest. Spike again found himself
fighting his demon's response to the sweet ambrosia of her blood and
dressing her wounds. He was a myriad of anger, frustration and…
sadness? Yes, he thought it was sadness. Another of the wolf's
accusations came flooding back to him, "What have to done to her?" he
had said. And what had he done to her? Here she was inflicting pain
on herself so he could feed, to what? Clear up some bruises that will
fade by sunrise? He finished wrapping her gash. She was still
sobbing. He finally put her arms around her, "Shhh." He soothed,
"Willow, it's okay. It'll all work out, you'll see."

Willow held onto him for dear life. At last her sobs quieted but her
tears continued to flow. With her head on her shoulder, looking
behind him she asked the question that had been at the forefront of
her mind the entire night, "Spike, do you still want me." She choked
on a sob that had crept up.

Spike couldn't believe his ears. Had he been so stupid as to allow
her to feel unwanted? He held her face in both hands and looked into
the depths of her soul, "Willow, I want you more now than ever. I am
so afraid of losing you that I just don't know what to do with
myself." Willow threw her right arm around his neck, still cradling
her left to her breast. "I'm so sorry Willow." Spike whispered.

"Spike," Willow began, breaking the embrace, looking at him, "I don't
want Oz anymore. I just want to see where we're going. But right now
I can't seem to see past this." She gingerly touched his bruised
features. She unwrapped the bandages from her hand. "Please, I'm
begging you, let me heal you." Once again, slowly this time, she
brought her palm to his lips.

The sweet aroma of her blood intoxicated his senses and he found
himself bracing her hand against his lips. Since the wound was
already inflicted, there was no piercing sensation in his head. The
sheer warmth of it threatened to make him lose control and his demon
wondered about being able to turn her eventually. He stopped, pulling
away abruptly, not facing her until he had pushed his demon down and
his human face reappeared. He could feel himself heal almost
immediately. He took her hand and wrapped the bandage around her
wound. He flinched inwardly at her caress of his face, obviously
pleased with the outcome. It sickened a part of him that she should
be so satisfied at her sacrifice for a couple of bruises. He glared
at her, "Don't ever do that again."

Willow shook her head in response. She knew he meant business. She
was so tired. She leaned her head against his shoulder and closed her
eyes. She felt Spike lift her up and carry her up the stairs. "Which
one?" he asked.

"Second on the right." She responded sleepily.

Spike drew down the covers of the bed and slipped Willow underneath
them. As an afterthought, he removed her skirt, the aroma of their
previous coupling filling his senses. Sex, for once, was the furthest
thing from his mind. Going through the various drawers he came across
a T-shirt and a pair of boxers. Willow assisted him in getting her
dressed before laying her head on her pillow. He barely pulled away
when she grabbed his hand, "No, don't leave me. Stay with me." She
pleaded with her eyes still closed.

"I'll never leave you Willow." He whispered as he kissed her
forehead. He opened her closet and found some extra blankets on the
top shelf. After securing them over the windows, he quietly undressed
and climbed into bed with her. He could feel the tension escape from
her as he curled his arms around her.

In each other's arms, they both slept; unaware of the havoc that
awaited them the next night.
 

next