*~*~*~

Her hat is hanging by the door
The one she bought in Mexico
It blocked the wind, it stopped the rain
She'd never leave that one
So she can't be really gone

*~*~*~

*~ The blonde vampire stood in the middle of the living room of the apartment he'd shared with his little witch, his red-rimmed blue eyes staring at all the reminders of her. A tear leaked out of the corner as they rested on a brilliant blue floppy fisherman's hat lying next to the lamp. His violently shaking hand
reached for it, latching onto the soft fabric and the soft memories of him, his witch, and a nighttime beach in Mexico two years ago.

*~ He brought it to his face, inhaling the sweet scent of her shampoo. Sobbing, he dropped it to the floor. With a howl of rage and pain, his fist slammed into
the wall, breaking through the firm wood and leaving a huge hole. He growled, and shouted again, bringing his steel toed boots to smash the coffee table. He went through the room, systematically destroying everything in sight.

*~ Moving into the bedroom, working out his grief in the only way he knew how.

*~*~*~

The shoes she bought on Christmas Eve
She laughed and said they called her name
It's like they're waiting in the hall
For her to slip them on
So she can't be really gone

*~*~*~

*~ He stopped, eyes falling on the garish red shoes she'd bought when they'd been shopping last Christmas. He'd laughed and asked her why she wanted them, they wouldn't go with anything she had. But she'd laughed right back and bought them despite his teasing. "They just told me, 'Willow, you know you want us... Quit resisting... We'll look great with a new outfit Spike's gonna buy you later." His face twisted at the happy memory and he visciously kicked the offending bits of nothing under the bed.

*~*~*~

I don't know when she'll come back
She must intend to come back
And I've seen the error of my ways
Don't waste the tears on me
What more proof do you need
Just look around the room
So much of her remains

*~*~*~

*~ He fell in a heap on the floor, all his energy gone. No! She wasn't gone. His face hardened in disbelief. Not yet. She was coming back. She had to! "I'm sorry, luv," he whispered brokenly. "So sorry..." It was his fault she was gone... If she hadn't seen him staring at Slutty like that... If they hadn't of argued... If she hadn't run off... If he had gone after her immediately... If he had been quicker to grab her away from the busy intersection...

*~*~*~

Her book is lying on the bed
The two of hearts to mark her page
Now who could ever walk away at chapter 21
So she can't be really gone

*~*~*~

*~ A knock came at the front door and he jumped, considering not answering it. He growled as it became more insistent. He ambled to his feet and stumbled to the door, flinging it open. The whole bloody gang was there.

*~ "Spike..." the slayer started, her own blue eyes teary and sad.

*~ "No," he growled hoarsley. "Get away from me. All of you!

*~ "Spike, please..." He turned his glare on the Watcher, then promptly slammed the door in their faces and turned the lock. Not that that would stop them. He moved back into his and Red's bedroom, slamming the door shut. His eyes fell on the bed... The bed that they'd shared. The latest book she'd been reading was lying there, next to her pillow.

*~ He sat down and reached for it, opening the pages and taking the worn playing card out. He smiled sadly, his heart hurting so much he didn't know how to deal with it. He remembered when he'd given her this card. The very first time he'd let her beat him at poker.

*~ Sobbing, he threw the book at the wall, watching as it fell to the floor. He curled up on her side of the bed, hugging her pillow to his chest.

*~*~*~

Just look around this room
So much of her remains
Her book is lying on the bed
The two of hearts to mark her page
Now who could ever walk away with so much left undone
So she can't be really gone
No she can't be really gone

*~*~*~

*~ He hurt so badly. So very badly. He couldn't remember a time when anything had ever been this painful. His blue eyes never left the book lying on the floor. He was so cold. So empty. She was gone... She was really gone. She wasn't coming back. He closed his eyes, making a decision. He got to his feet
slowly, reaching over to tear down the thick drapes covering the window over her dresser, then the ones covering the one above the bed. He then crawled back onto the bed, curled up around her pillow, and waited for the coming dawn.

*~ She was gone.
 

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