Oh, and the song "Hazy Shade of Winter" has absolutely *nothing* to do with the story except that I like the way it sounds as a title... *grin*
 

Part 1

*~*~*~

You can't escape what makes you tragic you know
Vicious 'cause you want to be
Leaving time possessed to please you
What might have been was never the
Way you visioned things
So difficult to stop pretending
What's this to you anyway
"Platnium" -Orgy-

*~*~*~

*~ Of all the things she missed, it was color that she missed the most. Even the most garish of colors were beautiful in rememberance. She wished with all her heart and soul that she could see a picture of the ocean and see a vast blue sheet of shining water, and even a boat. But she couldn't see anything beyond the blackness. And it had been so long it seemed, so very long, since she'd seen even the grayest of color.

*~ Four years. It felt like hundreds. It hadn't been her choice. No, that had been taken away from her as sure as her sight. She was more powerful now than
she'd ever dreamed of being. But it was worthless. She was worthless. She sat in her dark world and listened to their sniveling and groveling and she hated them. She hated them all.

*~ "Mistress..." the hesitant voice came out of nowhere, yet she knew exactly where the inferrior demon was crouching. She reached out her pale, slender
hand and seized it in a grip of power and brought it closer, so close she could smell the stink of it, almost taste its fear.

*~ "Tell me," her voice growled, impatient.

*~ "H-he's coming..."

*~ "Who is coming?" she demanded, giving it a shake.

*~ "H-Him..."

*~ She released him with an impatient flick of her wrist, flinging him against the stone of the wall. She tossed her head and her long red hair over her
shoulder. She didn't move except to relax against the back of her stone throne, resting her pale arms on the armrests.

*~ She'd retreated here a long time ago when the world had become too much for her to bear. And she'd stayed, forever young, forever powerful, forever alone. Forever in the blackness. It wasn't darkness, for even in the darkness there can be sight. But blackness was complete, total, and all encompassing.

*~ Her nostrils flared suddenly and the tips of her fingers twitched as another being stepped into the cave. "Willow..." the voice was as deep and as soft as
velvet and it made her hands tighten their hold on the armrests.

*~ "Willow's dead," she replied, fixing her pale, pale green eyes unerringly on his face. "But I'm here. What do you want, vampire?"

*~ "It's Buffy."

*~ Her interest was piqued. "What about her?"

*~ "She's in trouble, and so are the others."

*~ She laughed bitterly. "So what else is new? That's what got me where I am today, isn't it? Are they trying to save the world again, or is it a matter of the heart?" She clapped her hands sarcastically, "Oh, please tell me it's a matter of the heart. You're all so good at that..."

*~ "Stop it." His voice was still quiet, and it maddened her.

*~ "Don't tell me what to do, Angelus," she snapped, her head rearing back and her upper lip curling. "You lost that right when you lost my sight."

*~ "You're right," he said, and his tone was back to the ever-present half-guilt, half-pitying tone. "But we need your help. There's a lot at stake."

*~ She sighed. "Isn't there always? What happened now?"

*~ "Drackthon is back."

*~ She went completely still. "What do I have to do?" There was no mockery left in her voice. There was no emotion, nothing.

*~ "Come back with me," he said quietly.

*~ She laughed, and it hurt to hear it. "Won't *they* have something to say about that?"

*~ "They're the ones who sent me."

*~ "Fine." She snapped her fingers and her luggage was packed and in front of them, three inferior demons scuttling to carry them. She stood, the soft red
velvet folds of her thick gown rustling with the movement. Another vampire stepped forward, taking her hand and gently helping her down the steps, which she manuevered with unerring grace.

*~ With some ceremony, the vampire then handed her to Angel, who led her the rest of the way out of the twisting tunnels of the caves to the outside, where
his car was waiting. She tucked herself into the front passenger seat and buckled in. She may not be able to die, the Goddess knew how many times she'd tried it, but old habits die hard. It had been four years since she'd ridden in a car, but she still felt better if she were buckled in.
 

Part 2

*~*~*~

We don't talk much anymore
We keep running from the pain
But what I wouldn't give to see your face again
I know I let you down
Again and again
I know I never really treated you right
I've paid the price
I'm still paying for it every day
"I Don't Know You Anymore"
-Savage Garden-

*~*~*~

*~ She could feel all eyes on her when she crossed the threshold of the Watcher's apartment. She wondered when she'd stopped thinking of them as her friends and started thinking of them as her enemies, The Slayer and The Watcher. That's who they were to her now.

*~ "Wills," the former Slayer said, and Willow could hear the effort in the other girl's voice. "I've missed you." She took a step toward Willow, who stopped her with a raised hand.

*~ "Don't come near me Buffy," she said, her voice hard. "And don't touch me, any of you. You do, and I promise I'll hurt you."

*~ "Oh, come on, Red," a new voice said, and Willow's head cocked to one side. "What can *you* do to us?"

*~ Willow's eyes narrowed and she tuned her senses in on the newcomer. She scanned the minds of those in the room. She was a girl, sixteen or seventeen years old, dyed blonde hair with blue streaks, a nose-ring, heavy makeup, dressed in scanty black leather.

*~ She smiled. "Finally, someone who dresses worse than you, Buffy."

*~ "I thought you were blind," the new Slayer demanded angrily, and Willow waved her hand and her voice was gone.

*~ "I want to rest," she said. "Where shall I sleep?"

*~ "At my house," a familiar, beloved voice said, and Willow felt a stirring of feeling for the first time in... a very long time.

*~ "I didn't think you had a house, Spike," she smiled softly. "But I'm glad I'm welcome."

*~ "You'd be welcome anywhere I am, luv," the blonde vampire kissed her cheek softly, and Willow allowed him. The threat of earlier didn't apply to him. Of
them all, he was the only one she'd had any kind of contact with- besides Angel- in the three years.

*~ "Shall we, then?" she asked quietly, allowing him to take her hand. She ignored everyone else, not even acknoweleding the outraged silence of the Slayer, who tried to run after her, but was stopped by an invisible wall.

*~ "When are you going to release her, ducks?" Spike asked as he opened her car door for her.

*~ "As soon as I'm far enough away I don't have to listen to that screech she calls a voice."
 

Part 3

*~*~*~

How does it feel
To treat me like you do
When you've laid your hands upon me
And told me who you are

"Blue Monday" -Orgy-

*~*~*~

*~ "She's changed," Buffy said softly, sitting down on Giles' couch softly, a stricken look on her face.

*~ "What do you expect?" Anya asked sarcastically, "For her to forgive and forget? She's been blinded and exiled into those dank cxaves for three years. I don't think she's going to be all lovey towards you guys."

*~ "As if you were all that supportive of her," Buffy snapped defensively, glaring over at the ex-demon, who was now Xander's wife.

*~ "At least she didn't conspire to kill her best friend," Xander said, speaking for the first time since seeing Willow again. It had been a shock to see her, and he was still sort of recovering.

*~ "I-," Buffy's voice trailed off. She didn't know what to say. She regretted her actions more than she regretted anything else, but she'd honestly thought
Willow would have at least forgiven her by now. But she was fast realizing that she'd been horribly niave.

*~ "I don't see what the big deal is," Senna, who now had her voice back, said sullenly. "And I don't see why we have to have her help. And she's going to pay for that little trick..."

*~ "I'd leave it alone if I were you, Senna," Anya warned, leaning back into her husband's embrace, recrossing her legs. "She's more powerful now than she
ever was, and she grows more powerful as time goes by."

*~ "What do you mean?" Giles asked.

*~ "What I mean is that she's reached minor Goddess status now, and in another three years, she'll have reached major Goddess status," Anya said, glad that she hadn't lost the ability to sense power in others.

*~ "Good lord," Giles said, stunned. "I had no idea..."

*~ "You can't kill her, so don't even attempt it," Angel interjected. "She hasn't done anything wrong, and she doesn't use her powers for evil any more than
she did the first time you tried to eliminate her."

*~ "Well, I don't have to take that kind of abuse," Senna growled. "I'll find a way."

*~ "Leave it alone," Anya repeated, then she shrugged. "What do I care? I don't like you anyway."

*~ "Bitch..."

*~ "Whore."

*~ "Skank."

*~ "Girls," Giles cut in, his voice hard as steel. They stopped, and Anya stood up to leave.

*~ "Let's go, Xander. The stink in here has gotten unbearable," she said, wrinkling her nose.

*~ Xander stood up and took her hand, leading her out without a backward glance. "Well, they sure suck," Senna snorted, tossing her hair out of her eyes.
"Well, Buff, what're we going to do about Red and her attitude problem? I mean, we can't work with her if she has that kind of...."

*~ "You deal with it," Angel said, his voice low and somewhat dangerous. "She's the only one who can defeat this demon, and we can't afford to drive her away again. Understand?"

*~ "Why should I listen to *you* vampire," Senna sneered. "You're just as whipped as Xander and his whore."

*~ "Senna, shut up," Buffy snapped, standing up abruptly. "You have to patrol and I'm going home."

*~ Senna started to say something else, but Buffy wasn't listening, she was leaving, and so was Angel. Giles went to his books to look up more on the
demi-god.
 

Part 4

*~*~*~*

If we can't find a way out of these problems
Then maybe we don't need this
Standing face to face
Enemies at war we build defenses
And secret hiding places

-Savage Garden- (I forgot the name of the song... =) )

*~*~*~*~

*~ They were in the middle of the clearing, Angel holding her hands in his as the group surrounded them, chanting, enfusing them with the power. She didn't
know when she figured something was wrong. But by that time, it was too late. She could feel the power filling every pore in her body, taking her strength
and adding to it and adding to it until she was screaming with the pain of it.

*~ She could hear everyone screaming along with her, then abruptly it stopped. All sight and sound stopped for endless minutes and she wasn't even aware of what was happening, it was as if she were removed from the situation.

*~ Then sound returned. She could feel someone pressing on her chest, a pair of lips closing over hers, she could hear Buffy crying, and Xander yelling
at her, and Giles cursing between breaths, and she could feel Angel's tears. She took a deep breath and sat up, pushing past the pain and past the confusion. She tried to open her eyes. Blackness.

*~ "What's going on," she asked, her voice hoarse. She could still feel the power, running all through her body and soul, straining in every muscle, just waiting to be used. Why hadn't it gone away? Why couldn't she see? What was going on? "Why can't I open my eyes?"

*~ "Your eyes are open, Wills," Buffy said quietly, and Willow could feel a scream welling up. She swallowed it, and it hurt almost as much as the feelings she was picking up from her best friend and the man she had thought loved her...
 

Part 5

*~*~*~

No regrets or promises
The past is gone
But you can still be free
If time will set you free
Time now to spread your wings
To take to flight

"You Can Still Be Free"
Savage Garden

*~*~*~

*~ "How long has Angel and Buffy been seeing each other?" Willow asked casually as she sat with Spike in the bedroom he'd given her. He was sitting back
against the headboard of the bed, and she was cradled up against his chest. She could feel him tense, then relax.

*~ "Almost as soon as you left," Spike said, knowing better than to lie to her. "The bastard waited until he was sure you were gone before shagging the chit.
You should never have given him a permanent soul, luv."

*~ "That was before I knew they'd betrayed me," she said quietly. She'd expected as much, but it had felt better when she hadn't known. She allowed her head to fall back on his chest and she snuggled up closer, her eyelids falling closed. Though she didn't need rest, it felt nice to be held close to someone again.

*~ "I don't know why you're helping them now, luv," Spike said, his hand rubbing slow circles into the muscles of her back. "I mean, they don't exactly
deserve it."

*~ "I guess I'm helping them because... Well, it just pisses me off that the same wizard is back. I mean, look at what I gave up this last time, and he didn't
even have the courtesy to stay exiled," she said, her words calm and relaxed. "But then, there's you. And there's Xander and Anya. And there's everyone else in Sunnydale and everywhere else. I can't just let everyone die just because I'm bitter."

*~ "You worry about me?" Spike asked casually, wanting to know, but not. Sensing the sensitivity of the question, Willow sat up and thought a minute before
answering.

*~ Spike watched her beautiful face as she thought about it, her pale green eyes unfocused as always. Suddenly, she gripped his face between her palms and kissed him. It was the softest, sweetest, most tender kiss he'd ever recieved. When she pulled back, there was moisture on his face that he would deny until the day his dust was scattered over creation.

*~ "I love you, Spike," she said softly. "I think I have since that first day when you came into that cave and made me live instead of exist. As unbelievable as
it may seem, I've come a long way since then."

*~ "Not so unbelievable," Spike said softly, his fingers stroking her face gently. "You're a strong, beautiful person, and I love you too, ducks."

*~ She smiled and it was brilliant, seeming to light her skin and make her practically glow. Spike felt a happiness he hadn't felt since he'd had the implant
put in his brain. In fact, as he stopped to think about it, he couldn't remember when he'd last been this happy.

*~ "We're a team now," she whispered, her beautiful lips nearly touching his. And when they did, they were both lost...
 

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