*~*~*~*

And I never really sleep anymore
And I always get those dangerous dreams
And I never get a minute of peace
And I gotta wonder what it means
And I gotta wonder what it means
*~*~*~*

*~*~*~*
WILLOW'S POV
*~*~*~*

*~ I woke up quickly, covered in sweat, my breath coming in short gasps as my mind tried to grasp the images still swimming through my brain. Spike. Me and
Spike. Me and Spike kissing. Me and Spike doing things I'm not supposed to even think about, much less dream about.

*~ I swing my legs over the side of my bed, my entire body shaking as I tried  to catch my breath and clear the fog. Once I was sure my legs would hold, I got to my feet and stumbled unsteadily into the bathroom and undressed, half-crawling into the shower.

*~ I close my eyes and duck my aching head under the water spray. My muscles hurt. I moved my head on my neck and winced as it popped several times. I hurt everywhere, badly. I stood under the water until the near-scalding temperature had cooled, then quickly washed my hair and body.

*~ Wrapped in a towel, I stand in front of the mirror in the bathroom and wiped the steam away. My eyes widen at the sight of the girl staring back at me.
Dripping red hair framing a pale, heart-shaped face, dark emerald green eyes framed by long black eyelashes and dark, heavy circles under them. I look tired, drained. Emotionally and physically exhausted.

*~ With a sigh, I grab my toothbrush and brush my teeth, then head back out into the bedroom of my new apartment. Once there, I pull on a pair of old, faded jeans and a light blue t-shirt with a faded Smurf on the front. Socks and shoes, and I was ready to go.

*~ Go where? I groan and flop back on the bed as my eyes catch sight of the large red numbers on my alarm clock. Three thirty in the morning. I'd only gotten two hours of sleep. No wonder I was so tired. I rub my eyes with the heels of my hands and sigh.

*~ There was no way in hell I was going to go back to sleep, I decide and sit up. My eyes fall on the closed window, the blinds half open, showing the moonlit
night outside.

*~ I knew I shouldn't. I knew it was stupid. I found myself reaching for the lightweight dark blue blazer draped across the back of my desk chair. At least I
grabbed the red backpack holding stakes and holy-water. I was going for a walk.
 

*~*~*~*

Maybe it's nothing and I'm under the weather
Maybe it's just one of those bugs going around
Maybe I'm under a spell and it's magic
Maybe there's a witch doctor with an office in town

*~*~*~*
SPIKE'S POV
*~*~*~*

*~ My head snaps up at the familiar smell and I growl under my breath as I catch sight of the Slayer's redheaded little pet. Bloody Hell, what's the chit
doing out here all by herself? Is she trying to get herself killed? I fight off my instincts to run over and grab her, force her back inside where she'll be
safe.

*~ What the bloody hell? Since when do my insctincts yell anything about keeping the redheaded witch safe? Throw her down on the ground and shag the life out of her while I drain her life-blood away, yes. But to want to protect her, to take her home and hide her away from the things that went 'grr' in the night?

*~ What the bloody *hell*? I curse under my breath as I start to follow her, watching her slender body move through the night. She was completely oblivious to everything, lost in her thoughts. Her thin arms hugged her waist and her shoulders hunched tiredly as she continued through the literally dead streets. I don't sense another human outside for miles as I follow her silently.

*~ While my senses are open for any signs of attack, I focus my inward thoughs on what I'm suddenly feeling for the little witch.

*~ Cor, she's beautiful. I give myself a mental slap. Quit thinking like that, you bloody sod! She's your enemy's best friend! You have no right to think those
kind of thoughts!

*~ She entered the park and nearly fell onto the metal of the merry-go-round, pushing it back and forth slightly with her feet. She laid down on her back, her
green eyes searching the night sky, looking at the stars. My body tightened in lust as I watched the rise and fall of her breasts as she breathed. Before I can
stop myself, I'm moving out of the shadows to sit down next to her, the heat of her body nearly searing me, even though I'm not close enough to touch her... Yet.

*~ "What did you do to me, luv?" The sound of my own voice startles me and she looks over at me, not a shred of surprise in their depths, though her
heartbeat quickened. It wasn't from fear. I frown, realizing that I hadn't felt fear from her in a while, at least not toward me.

*~ "I should be the one asking you that question," she replies softly and sits up, her red hair falling around her face.

*~ "What the hell's that supposed to mean?"

*~ "I haven't been able to sleep because of dreams of you."
 

*~*~*~*

Is this a blessing? Or is this a curse?
Does it get any better? Can it get any worse?
Will it go on forever? Or is it over tonight?
Does it come with the darkness?
Does it bring out light?
Is it richer than diamonds?
Or just a little cheaper than dirt?

*~*~*~*
WILLOW'S POV
*~*~*~*

*~ I can see the surprise on his features as my words sink in. I can't help the blush that creeps over my skin as I realized I actually told him that. Goddess,
I just *had* to let that slip!

*~ "You've been dreaming of me?" he asks, awe in his voice. It's my turn to look surprised.

*~ "Yeah," I retort sarcastically. "Didn't you hear me in the first place?"

*~ "Don't get your knickers in a twist, ducks," he says, then bursts into laughter.

*~ "What?" I demand, hurt and a little angry.

*~ "Are you trying to cover up for another botched spell?"

*~ "You... you... you... asshole," I sputter, getting to my feet angrily. "I haven't done any kind of spell since..." My voice trails off as my anger leaves abruptly. Suddenly I feel close to tears. Since the 'Will be done' spell. Where I caused him and Buffy to fall in love. Since my heart had broken again. Since I'd realized that I was hiding feelings for the undead asshole sitting in front of me, laughing it up because he thought I'd screwed up again.

*~ "Pet," he chuckled, reaching a hand out for me.

*~ "Don't touch me," I growl and turn to stalk out of the playground, headed towards my apartment. I let out a surprised yelp as a hand closed around my upper arm, pulling me around and against his hard body.

*~ "Ah, but I want to, pet," he growled huskily, his ice-blue eyes narrowing in on my lips. "And I want to do this..." His lips touched mine and I was lost.
Clothes were shed and inhibitions lost as he took me right there in the middle of the darkened childrens playground where anyone could walk by and see us.

*~ Several hours later, we were in my apartment, watching each other through somewhat dazed eyes as we both tried to come to terms with what had just
happened between us.

*~ I cleared my throat nervously, toying with the bottom of my t-shirt, which I had replaced before leaving the playground. "So... Where do we go from here?"
 

*~*~*~*

I don't know what it is, but it just won't quit
I don't know what it is, but it just won't quit

*~*~*~*
SPIKE'S POV
*~*~*~*

*~ I've been watching her closely ever since we'd left the playground, waiting for her nervous babbling to kick in. I was surprised when it didn't. We sat in her
apartment and stared at each other until I thought I was going to scream.

*~ "So... Where do we go from here?" she asks quietly, her gentle voice insecure and a little scared. Her green eyes are bright but steady as she pinned me
down. A little of the fear I hadn't know I was feeling eased at her obvious unwillingness to let this all end. I moved to sit on the sofa next to her, my hands
resting on her slightly trembling shoulders.

*~ "Where do *you* want to go from here, Red?"

*~*~*~*
WILLOW'S POV
*~*~*~*

I don't know what it is, but it just won't quit
I don't know what it is, but it just won't quit

*~*~*~*

*~ I hear his words and I can't help the relieved smile that crosses my lips. All my fear melts away and I lean forward to catch his lips with mine. "I want to
go all the way and then some, Spike," I whisper huskily, pulling away. "Do you want to go with me?"

*~*~*~*

There was a time when nothing really mattered
There was a time when there was nothing I didn't know
There was a time when I knew just what I was living
for
There was a time and the time was a long ago
There was a time and the time was so long ago
And I never really sleep anymore...

*~*~*~*
SPIKE'S POV
*~*~*~*

*~ We made love again, right there on her sofa. Then again in her shower. Then again in her bed. Finally, exhaustion overtook us both and after Red covered the bedroom window against the coming dawn, we both tumbled into sleep.

*~ I woke up a few hours later to her warm body curled up around mine. I relished the feeling. It wasn't often that a vampire had a willing human warm his cold skin. My hand strokes her back idly, wondering if this was going to last.

*~ I can feel my face softening as I look down at her sleeping features. She was so beautiful. So very beautiful. So innocent. Did I deserve to be here with
her right now?

*~ Why was I even thinking about whether I deserved it or not? Hell, I'm a vampire. I'm not supposed to care about things like that. I'm not supposed to care,
period. But I do. Willow's Goddess help me, but I do care. I care a lot more than I was willing to admit, even to myself.

*~ I don't know when it started, but I know I don't want it to end. Her long eyelashes fluttered as she woke up, her green eyes looking up at me, her lips
curving in a smile. Whatever it is, I hope it never quits.

THE END
 

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