The Present: Just before dawn

"Spike you're drunk!"

"Yeah, so what if I am? I can't bloody bite you! What are you worried
about?"

"I um don't really know. I just know that you can't stay here! Buffy
would wig!"

"Come on Red! I ain't got no where else to stay, the sun's gonna be up
in less than an hour. Please."

"Fine! But only because you said please. And you have to stay in my
room. I don't want anyone to find out I let you stay here."

"Sure thing pet. You gonna stay home with me today? I could make it
worth your time!"

"Spike! No! I mean yes I'm gonna be here, but I don't want you to make
it worth my time. I'm not sure what that means and I don't think I
want to."

"Anything you say luv, lead the way."

" So Spike, why are you here? I mean why my place? Don't you live in a
crypt?"

"Yeah well, I don't much feel like staying there anymore. It's
depressing as hell."

"Oh, I thought you liked it. Being undead and all."

"Would you want to live in a place like that? I don't! I wish Angleus
had never let Dru turn me! I hate my whole unlife! Bloody bastard
should have just killed me!"

"Spike calm down. I'm sure you'll feel better about this when you
sober up. I mean I thought you liked being a demon."

"Well I don't! I never wanted to be one! I didn't have a choice. I am
loves bitch! I did it all for a woman, gave up my life for a beautiful
face. She don't even love me either! I'm pathetic. I don't know why
I'm telling you all this. I must be drunker than I thought."

"Oh Goddess Spike I never knew. I always thought you liked being all
GRRR. I'm so sorry."

"Yeah well, just keep this to yourself Red. If you tell anyone, and I
mean anyone, I'll kill you! Even if I have to hire someone to do it.
Even if you are the only friend I got."

"Don't worry, I won't say anything to anyone, to me this conversation
never happened. Now I'm going to close the drapes while you get in to
bed and sleep this off."

"Thanks luv, I could use a shower first do you mind?"

"No, the bathroom is right in there. Just leave the door unlocked and

I'll bring you in some towels."

" Hey red? Do you have any soap that doesn't smell like vanilla or
fruit? I can't use this stuff, I'll smell like the bloody poof!"

"I think there might be some in the linen closet, I'll bring it in
with the towels."

"Thanks luv."

"Here you go, towels and soap and I found some shampoo that doesn't
smell like anything at all. Oh Goddess! Spike you're naked. Why are
you naked?"

" It's easier to shower this way pet. Thanks for the towels and
stuff."

"Oh, right. Do you need anything else? I mean can I bring you anything
else?"

"Not unless you want to scrub my back for me, do you want to scrub my
back for me?"

"What? Oh! No I think I'll just wait in the other room."

"Hey Red, what did you do with my clothes? I left them in here on the
floor."

"Oh, I took them and put them in the wash. I figured they could use a
cleaning and since you are going to be here all day and not going
anywhere I would wash them so that they would be clean when you put
them on since you just had a shower and you're clean and I'm talking
too much again so I'm shutting up now."

"Ok luv, thanks for washing my clothes, but what am I supposed to put
on for now? Or do you like the idea of me being naked in your bed?"

"Oh! I um never even thought about you being naked in my bed, I mean
sleeping in my bed naked. Alone, not with me in my bed naked, I'm not
making any sense so I'm just going to stop talking, goodnight Spike.
I'll be here when you wake up."

"Sure pet. See you in a few hours."
 
 

Willow paced around her apartment thinking. <I can't believe Spike
said that! I mean I always thought he enjoyed being evil. But I guess
he wouldn't say it if it weren't true. I wish I could help him. But
how? It's not like I can go back in time and change the past, or can I
? I think I saw a spell that could do just that! I could go back and
find Spike before Angel and Dru find him. I'll warn him to stay inside
that night or something. Then he won't become a vampire! But if I do
that then I won't be able to talk to him anymore because he won't be
here. He'll be dead! I can't be selfish, sure I'm going to miss him,
he's my friend, I like him. He's almost sweet to me now that he can't
bite me, and he's funny and he listens to me, and he doesn't treat me
like a kid. I know Buffy doesn't like him, she doesn't like the fact
that I do, but I can't help it if I love Spike! You don't chose who
you love! Oh my, did I say love? How did I get from like to love? Oh
no, I love Spike. This can't be happening. I realize that I love
someone right at the same time I'm figuring out a way to make it so
that I never know this person. What do I do now? I really do love
Spike, weird I know, but I don't want to lose him now. Think Willow!
What is the right thing to do? Spike never asked to be a vampire, he
was never given the choice. He deserved to live a long human life, and
by golly I'm going to see that he gets that chance!> Willow left the
apartment  to get the supplies she would need for her spell.
 
 

Later that day

"Red? What's that God-awful stench! Smells like a chaos demon took up
residence! Red? Are you here pet? What the bloody hell is all this
stuff? Herbs some kind of oily stuff, a book of spells, and… Bloody
Hell! What has the little witch done! I never should have gone to
sleep, I could have stopped her this time!"
 
 

The Past

Willow stood up and looked around, she wasn't sure where she was, or
how she got to be in this place.

" Oh Goddess, my head hurts. Where am I ? How did I get here? And why
is everyone dressed so funny?" <I was at home, I wanted to help Spike.
I did a spell, Oh right! I must be in the past! I should have changed
into something proper for these times! Next time remember to change
clothes first! >

"Miss? Do you need help? You seem a little confused."

"What? Oh, sorry. Yeah, I'm not sure exactly where I am. Could you
help me find a place to stay?"

"Sure thing miss, do you have any money or would you be looking for a
place that offers rooming in exchange for work?"

"Um, I don't have any money so the work thing I guess." <Note to self,
don't time travel without money!>

"This way miss, I'll take you to my work, I waitress at the local
tavern, you can stay with me tonight and I'll talk to Mr. Bellows
about giving you a job. But I think we better find something for you
to wear first. A lady shouldn't be seen in trousers. Why are you
wearing them anyway?"

"Oh, um, I don't remember. They must belong to someone else. I don't
remember why I'm wearing them." <Great now she probably thinks I ran
off from some mans bed wearing his pants! Way to go Willow!> "Thank
you for helping me."

"Come along now, let's get you back to my room before anyone else
notices you."
 
 

Back at the girls room

"I'm Willow by the way, what's your name?"

"The name's Katrina, but everyone calls me Kate."

"Thank you for the dress Kate, and for letting me stay here with you.
I don't know where I would have ended up if you hadn't found me."

"Well I do, and trust me you wouldn't have liked it much! There's only
one other place to stay around here if don't got any money and the
work requires you to be in bed if you get my meaning."

"Oh! Well in that case I'm eternally grateful. I don't think I could
do that kind of work!"

"Well let's see if we can't find you a job in the kitchen or waiting
the tables then."
 

In the tavern

"Mr. Bellows, this is Willow. She's looking for a job and a place to
stay."

"Hello, Mr. Bellows."

"Kate, she better not be as useless as the last girl you brought me!
She spilled more drinks than she served and ran off with my best
paying customer! Willow is it? You can start now. We'll call tonight a
trial, you can keep your tips but you won't be paid for tonight's
work. If I'm satisfied with your work I'll put you on the payroll
tomorrow. I've got no rooms right now so you'll have to find your own
place to stay for a couple of days."

"Thank you Mr. Bellows, I'll do my best."

"Kate, get her an apron and a tray, I'll be watching you."

"Where should I start? I've never done this before."

"Well, you see that nice looking man who just came in? Why don't you
go over there and ask him what he'd like to drink."

"Ok, I can do that. Excuse me sir, can I get something to drink? Oh
my, Spike? I mean William?"

"Yes. Do I know you?"

"Yes, um no. I'm new here, what can I get you?"

" A beer please, and your name since you've already got mine."

"My name? It's Willow. I'll be right back with your beer."<Oh my
Goddess, I found him! Now all I have to do is keep him in here with
me. If he doesn't leave he won't run into Angel and Dru. Spike is
kinda cute with brown hair. I wonder why he bleaches it?>

"Here you go Sir, one beer. Will there be anything else?"

"No thanks pet, but you can call me William, you already know that's
my name."

"Oh, right."

" How did you know that? I know we've never met before, I would
remember someone as beautiful as you."

" I can't tell you that, not yet anyway. Would you stay here until my
shift ends? I'd like to talk to you some more."

"Sure thing luv, I've got nowhere else to be. You better get back to
work now, your boss doesn't look to happy."

"Damn! Oops, I don't usually say things like that."

"I won't tell no one, your secrets safe with me pet."
 
 

Willow spends the next few hours serving drinks and cleaning tables.
She spent time talking to William when she was on her break. The bar
is closing, and William is waiting outside for Willow.
 

"Oh good you're still here! I didn't see you inside and I was afraid
you'd left."

" Now why would I leave when I told you I would wait for you? Besides
you still haven't told me how you know my name."

"Oh right. Well it's kind of a long story, and you probably won't
believe me, but it's true and I'm not crazy! Ok?"

"Ok pet, tell me all about it."

"Here goes. I'm not from here, I live in Sunnydale, that's not
important, the reason I know your name is because we're friends. You
don't call yourself William anymore though, you go by Spike. Oh, and
you're a 126 year old vampire. I should probably mention that I'm from
the future."

"Luv, have you been drinking? I mean you have to admit that's a bit
far fetched."

"No! I haven't been drinking! I'm telling the truth, tonight two
vampires are going to find you, one is a man named Angelus and the
other is an insane woman named Drusilla. Now, that you know, you have
to keep away from them. Drusilla wants to turn you into a vampire. I
can't let her do it to you again, I love you."

"Hold on a sec there luv, first of all what do you mean again? Am I a
vampire in your future? And did you say you love me? How can that be
if I'm a vampire. And if you do love me and I'm a vampire, why would
you come back in time to save me if that means that we'll never meet?
Do vampires really exist? God now you've got me babbling!"

"I'm sorry, I know this is a lot to take in but I swear to you that
it's true, everything I've told you. I just want you to be happy and
live your life, I know that I'll lose you and I won't even remember
you but I love you, or who you become. It's very confusing but you
have to believe me."

"I'd like to pet, but it's a little confusing, how the hell did you
get here? Are you a witch or something?"

"Well yes actually, I am. Look, last night or this morning actually,
you showed up at my apartment drunk as hell and begged me to let you
in. We were talking about your living arrangements and you started
telling me how much you hate your existence. That you wish you were
never turned into a vampire and that Angel or Angelus as he goes by
right now should have just killed you. I didn't even realize that I
love you until after you fell asleep and I started thinking about how
I could help you." And we need to run really fast right now cause
there they are!"

"What? Who's there? Where?"

"William come on! Follow me quickly!"

"Willow wait! Don't go that way, there's a wall at the end of the
alley!"

"Oh Goddess! What are we gonna do!"

"Look Daddy, he's pretty, can I keep him?"

"Are ya sure? He doesn't look like much to me."

"But I need a new playmate, I'm ever so bored these days, the stars
tell me that he's wicked, not a nice boy at all."

"That's cause I'm not a nice boy! Not anymore! Red, you really
shouldn't mess with time travel. Let's go."

"Spike? How did you get here?"

"I found your bloody book and did your spell! Can we play 20 questions
later when Angelus isn't looking at you like your dinner?"

"Oh, um sure."

"Wait a minute there boy, how'd you know my name? And how is it you
look like him?"

"Because I an him! Or rather who he'll be after Dru is done with him."

"Wait a minute, you're telling me that I'm going to turn into you?
What if I don't want to?"

"No choice in the matter mate, it's destined. Angelus I'll tell you
what. You two keep him, let me take the girl and I'll be on my way.

"And why would I let you do such a thing? Mabey I'll keep the girl,
turn the boy and kill you."

"You don't want to do that, the girl is a pain in the ass. She's
stubborn, pig headed doesn't listen, and she's too damn smart for her
own good."

"Yeah? Well she's got you chasing after her, she must be good for
something."

"Bloody hell! Look mate, she belongs to Darla, you remember your sire
don't you? She sent me to bring her back. This is Darla's personal
witch and you don't want to mess with what Darla considers hers!"

"Alright then, you can take the witch. But the boy is mine. Dru here
wants a playmate, but you know all about that now don't you. I'll make
sure you don't forget the price you paid for leaving here with her in
one piece. But before I let you take her, I want the boy to come with
us willingly."

"What? Are you people mad? You think I'm going to just turn myself in
and let you turn me into a vampire? Not bloody likely!"

"Yes you bloody well will! I happen to know a thing or two about this,
I am you after all. You will go with Drusilla and become her playmate.
End of story, this is not negotiable."

"Spike! What are you doing? You can't just send him, you, to be turned
by Drusilla! I came here to …"

"Never mind Red! Look Angelus, give me two minutes with myself here
and he'll all yours. William, come here."

"Oh Goddess Spike, what are you doing?"

"What needs to be done, trust me. I've heard this speech, it'll work."

"Well now, while they're off talking what's say you and I get to know
one another."

"I um, already know about you, I don't need to know you any better."

"Daddy, Miss Edith says we should leave the little tree alone. Miss
Edith says the little tree is going to change the stars for us."

"Well now, that's an interesting story, I think I like the stars the
way they are, and I'm feeling a bit hungry. I wonder how witch blood
tastes."

"You're not going to find out tonight! William here is ready to go.
Red you're coming with me!"

"Willow, it's ok. I know what I have to do. I'll be alright, this is
my destiny, if I don't go she'll find someone to take my place. I
can't condemn someone else to die in my place. For what it's worth I
believe you, and I assume you didn't tell him what you told me, but
the feeling is mutual. I wouldn't do this if it weren't. take care
luv, I'll see you next century."

"William no!"

"Angelus, I'll be taking the witch back to Darla now. Drusilla, have
fun with your new playmate."
 

Spike tossed Willow over his shoulder and walked out of the alley and
back to the tavern. When they got inside she cast the return spell
sending them both home.
 

Present: Willows apartment.

"What the bloody hell do you think you were doing back there! You
could have been killed! Or worse, turned! Why would you even think
about doing something that risky! Well?"

"I only wanted to help you. You were so miserable this morning, I
wanted to give you the chance to live a full life, you know a human
life. I thought if I could just keep you away from Angel and Dru for
that night that you would get the chance to have everything you
wanted. I'm sorry that I caused so much trouble."

"Willow, I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with myself. I came here
this morning because I knew you would do this. I was going to stop
you. I shouldn't have gone to sleep, hell I shouldn't have gotten
drunk last night! But I didn't know if I could face you sober."

"Face me? Why? How did you know I was going to do this? I didn't even
know I was going to do this."

"One question at a time luv. First of all I was that man in the alley.
I have those memories of that night. I know what I said to him to make
him go with them. I came here this morning to tell you something,
hopefully to keep you from going in the first place. Instead I start
blubbering about how my unlife sucks, you pity me and go and almost
get yourself killed."

"Spike? What did you say to him, yourself, to make him, you, go with
them?"

"I told him that if he didn't go willingly that they would take him by
force, but not before dishonoring you in front of him. They would have
made you his first meal. He didn't take to kindly to the idea of
Angelus having you, and then him eating you."

"Why would you tell him such an awful thing?"

"Because it's true pet, that the very first thing Angelus told me
after I was turned. He talked about it for years after that, how he
was going to fuck and then drain Darla's witch. And I only told him
you belonged to Darla so he wouldn't kill the both of us. She was the
only thing that ever scared him."

"So you became what you are because of me? This is all my fault! Oh,
Spike I'm so sorry. Why didn't you ever tell me? Why didn't Angel tell
me?"

"Because Willow, you're the only thing that's kept me going since this
whole thing started. Angel feels so damn guilty about fantasizing
about fucking and killing you that he wouldn't be able to tell you no
matter how much he wanted to. He knew that I would try to stop you
anyway so that let him off the hook.  For a time I started to think
that you weren't real, that my memories were wrong and I got angry. I
let the demon in me control my every action. Then I came to Sunnyhell
and I saw you. I knew that you were real, but you were so good and so
pure. There was no way that you would ever love me, I'm a monster, so
I let the rage consume me until those bloody wankers put this chip in
my head. That's when things started to come into focus. I didn't
figure it all out until yesterday. I knew I had to see you, and try to
stop you but I was afraid."

"Afraid? Of me? Spike, you shouldn't be afraid of me. I would never
hurt you. If you have the memories of what I told William than you
know that I love you. I love you Spike."

"Are you sure? I know that's what you said to him, me, but after being
me and doing the things I've done, how can you possibly feel anything
for me?"

"I don't know the reason why I love you, I just do. I don't know why
you have to question me, doesn't going back in time to save you
despite my feelings for you just to give you back what was taken from
you prove it? Spike, please don't question this. I love you."

"I love you too Willow, I have for over 100 years, I just forgot for a
while. I won't forget ever again. I promise you that."

"Spike?"

"Yes luv?"

"When you said you were loves bitch and that you did it all for a
pretty face, I thought you meant Dru. Did you mean me?"

"Yes luv, I was talking about you."

"Would you do something for me?"

"Anything you ask."

"Take me to bed and show me how much you love you love me."

"That's a request I'm more than happy to fulfill luv."

THE END

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