So
go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend;
Do
it in the name of Heaven, you can justify it in the end.
But
there won’t be any trumpets blowing, come the Judgment Day…
On
the bloody morning after, one tin soldier rides away.
So
the people of the valley sent a message up the hill,
Asking
for the buried treasure, tons of gold for which they’d kill.
Came
a message from the King: none with our brothers will we share—
All
the secrets of our mountain, all the riches buried there.
So
go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend;
Do
it in the name of Heaven, you can justify it in the end.
But
there won’t be any trumpets blowing, come the Judgment Day…
On
the bloody morning after, one tin soldier rides away.
So
the valley cried in anger: mount your horses, draw your swords!
And
they killed the mountain people; so they won their just reward.
Now
they stood beside the treasure on a mountain dark and red,
Turned
the stone and looked beneath it: Peace On Earth was all it said.
So
go ahead and hate your neighbor, go ahead and cheat a friend;
Do
it in the name of Heaven, you can justify it in the end.
But
there won’t be any trumpets blowing, come the Judgment Day…
On
the bloody morning after, one tin soldier rides away.
Willow
gazes around the little store she has bought. It has a spacious enough
apartment through a door at the back, but she does not care much about
her living space.
The
store is flooded with sunlight, as the front is all windows, rather like
in Greg’s house. Everything is a creamy white, the color of the yards and
yards of both woven and unwoven hemp that she brings with her. There is
a counter towards the back, where she will put the cash register when she
has one. There are shelves lining the walls, and the floor is lovely polished
honey-colored wood.
The
store reminds her of Greg. Willow misses him terribly.
Fiddle,
Oboe and Timpani roam the store and the apartment at the back, learning
the layout and introducing themselves to the space.
Willow
decides she will live up to her cliché and sell organic, homemade,
expensive things. Hemp jewelry, hand-dipped candles, home-stirred soap,
self-spun linen clothing. Willow turns and spins faster
than a dreidl to where her linen bag lies in her apartment behind the store.
Her
familiars join her faster than she can blink, and slowly, deliberately,
faster than a dreidl spinning across a table, Willow begins to unpack.
April
25th, 2008; Los Angeles, California
Excerpt
from a magic-supply online newsgroup message number 8654, posted 25/4/08:
On
a lighter note, there’s a new magick shoppe in town! Just off of West Hollywood,
this charming shop, modestly called Sacred Threads & Other Things
Crafted With Love,
run by a sweet, quiet young woman named Salix (no last name given), sells
everything any casual practitioner could want (and more!). Besides the
many foreign objects (including several luminous Orbs of Thesulah), there
are many different crafts handmade by Salix herself. These things include
blessed water (conveniently scented with mint, rosemary, ginger and apple),
hand-dipped candles (in all shapes, colors, sizes and styles), and painstakingly
woven ropes—reputed to be unbreakable. Salix has said that there is a warding
spell set around the shop to keep out those with bad intentions—it may
indeed be true. The shop is a lovely place to simply relax. Salix sells
hot tea and cocoa as well, so have a cuppa while browsing through her equally
handmade spellbooks. * * * *
Saturday,
April 14th, 2007; Sunnydale, California
Willow
is unhappy.
She
is desperately, torturously unhappy.
There
are four people who know; there are three people who care.
Cordelia
knows, and cares. She talks to Willow on the phone several times a week,
and it is perhaps because she cannot see Willow’s convincingly bright smile
that she can detect the undertone of despair in her voice. It tears Cordelia
apart to know that her friend suffers; it makes her hurt inside to know
that nobody in Sunnydale is Willow’s true friend or confidante. Cordelia
is not particularly a confidante, either, but Willow talks to her, and
Cordelia hears a little of what her friend does not say. Cordelia loves
Willow dearly, stays awake at night and worries for her. But she knows
something of hiding pain, and is aware that Willow will fall apart if she
is confronted with her unhappiness. Cordelia could
support Willow during her collapse, but it would be hard. Cordelia is aware
that her spirit is not as selfless and giving as Willow’s, and therefore
worries that she will not have enough love left for herself, and Gunn,
and their children, Thea and Paul. So she talks to Willow at least twice
a week, and lies awake in Gunn’s arms at night, biting her lip in worry
for her friend that she cannot help.
Angel
knows, and cares. He can see the way Willow’s shoulders slump whenever
she thinks nobody is looking, notices the shadows under her eyes before
she goes to apply another layer of concealer. He has tried to talk to Buffy
about it, but all that introduces are suspicions and accusations: “Why
are you watching Willow?” and “I’m her best friend—don’t you think I would
notice if something were wrong?” Angel watches as her ‘friends’ ignore
her, watches as she tries to care for them more than she cares for herself,
watches as she slowly begins to crumble inside because there is nobody
loving her. But he does not approach her—the brooding, worried persona
was one he had to abandon along with his golden eyes and knife-sharp teeth
when the Powers That Be granted him absolution. He knows that Willow would
cut herself off from him, assure him she was fine; he knows that he might
hurt more than help, knows that as far as friends go, he is not a very
good one. So he sits and watches as Willow leans discreetly against a bookshelf
because she is so exhausted from not caring about herself, and slowly begins
to brood again.
Spike
knows, and tells himself he does not care. He can smell the exhaustion
emanating from Willow, can almost see its waves as it takes over her frail
being. He can hear the slightly sluggish thrumming of the blood in her
veins, can see the veins through her skin as she grows more and more transparent.
He can tell every time she’s lost blood, knows it happens almost every
night, and is angry at her because she lets herself be hurt and because
he wants to be taking her blood, savoring it, siphoning it carefully, slowly,
so that she begs for it, finally, so that she is not in pain. He insists
every night in his crypt to all of the spiders and mice that will listen
that he does not care,
and insists again that he is not lying.
Oz
knows, and truly does not care. He is the causer of a lot of her pain,
and it is he who is so crudely siphoning away her blood. He savors her
pain, loves what she weakly lets him do to her. He is aware of the people
who notice the girl he used to love waste away, and he knows they will
not do anything—Just as he is sure than Willow will never stop him from
hurting her.
***
On
a cheerful Saturday morning, Buffy and Willow go shopping.
Willow
is aware that ‘going shopping’ with Buffy is merely figurative, as in the
eleven years she has been Buffy’s closest friend and confidante, she has
never bought anything while with Buffy. Instead, she functions as Buffy’s
faithful shopping cart as Buffy goes from store to store, requisitioning
Willow’s fashion advice and not listening to a word of it, acquiring bag
after bag of expensive, sexy clothing that she piles in Willow’s arms.
Now
it is four o’clock in the afternoon—they have been at the mall since eight-thirty,
and even Buffy’s shopping adrenaline is running low. There is a last shop
she wants to go to, at the end of a mostly deserted corridor in the mall.
It sells beach-wear, poolside-wear, at low prices. Buffy rushes ahead as
Willow struggles to catch up, lugging bags from the Limited, Express, Banana
Republic, the Gap, Steve Madden, Claire’s Accessories, and even Old Navy.
Buffy heads straight into the many racks of bathing-suits, ignoring her
friend lumbering helplessly into the store. Willow stops at the cash register
and smiles kindly at the cashier, an acne-ridden boy of about sixteen.
“Would you mind watching these bags for me?” Willow asks politely, breathlessly,
and it is all the boy can do to smile and nod at the same time.
Willow
somehow manages to put all of the bags down neatly without creating an
avalanche of some sort and enters the maze of racks. Now she does not join
Buffy and follow her along eagerly; Willow wants to get a new swimsuit,
as all of her others are worn down from long days at the beach. Willow
does not want to get any bathing-suit, however; she wants to get one that
will, perhaps, make her look beautiful. Willow is aware, at the outermost
edge of her consciousness, that she is a mere accessory to Oz, that he
does not love her. She is like a pen to him, kind of; one that he chews
on, and one that he will discard if it gets too ragged. Perhaps, when they
go to the pool on Wednesday, if Willow somehow looks sexy in her new bathing-suit,
if she somehow outshines the other women at the pool, maybe she will cease
to be a mere accessory, and maybe Oz will love her again.
There
is a slight problem, though, one that impedes her whenever she buys clothing.
She cannot show her thighs. Not in skirts with slits, not in shorts. When
she wears a bathing-suit, Willow must have boyshort bathing-suit bottoms,
and she must always be careful to never spread her legs when anyone can
see. Oz has told her this, and when he told her he hurt her so that she
would remember. She has scars on her thighs, on her lower back, between
her legs that nobody except Oz should know are there. Oz likes them there,
he put them there himself. He says that it marks her as his, and whenever
he reminds her of this, he adds another scar, slowly and painfully, and
leaves her alone to wash away the blood dripping down her legs.
If
she gets too ragged, Oz will not care for her, even a little bit, and then
it will all be lost.
Willow
shakes her head, feels the long hair whirl up and settle back around her
shoulders. She does not want to think of the pain before it will happen.
It only exists when she is in the midst of pain; otherwise she is normal
Willow, happy Willow, Willow-who-lives-to-make-others-happy.
Willow
takes a bathing-suit off the rack, puts it back with a faint sigh of disgust.
All of the suits with boyshorts are for twelve-year old girls with delusions
of sexiness; all she can find are suits that look like they’ve fallen out
of the pages of a Delia’s catalog. Delia’s was all fine and good when she
was a teenager, and she is aware that she still looks like one, but that
doesn’t mean she wants to enhance that illusion.
“Willow,
what are you doing?” Buffy asks, suddenly invading Willow’s space.
“Looking
for a bathing-suit,” Willow explains patiently. “I want a new one.”
“There
are tons of nice ones over there,” Buffy observes, pointing to the section
with thongs and string bikinis.
“I
need—want—one with boyshorts,” Willow says.
“Oh,”
Buffy says. After a moment of semi-awkward silence, the Slayer charitably
offers, “Try this one on!”
It
was in Buffy’s heaping armful of bathing-suits. It is a black two-piece
bathing-suit—with boyshorts—and a bikini halter-top. Willow wonders where
on earth Buffy found it, but does not bother to ask. Buffy scrunches the
bathing-suit up and precariously shoves it into Willow’s hands, trying
to balance the many other bathing-suits she cradles in her arms.
“Thanks,
Buffy,” Willow says, and goes into the changing rooms.
The
suit is even better than she thought. While the boyshorts covered up the
necessary areas, they were cut down the seams on the sides and laced,
showing a little more of Willow’s near-translucently pale skin. The top
is not exactly a bikini but more like a corset made of lycra. The hem ends
just two inches above her belly button, and the neckline is cut low, leaving
space for her cleavage to be demonstrated, thanks in most part to the push-up
underwire in the top.
Yes,
Willow wants this bathing-suit.
April
29th, 2008; Los Angeles, California
Excerpt
from the Los Angeles Times’
business section, 28/4/08:
Just
off of West Hollywood I encountered a small shop run by one single, frail
young woman who calls herself Salix (to all of you poor fools, salix
means ‘willow’ in the Latin). While I browsed the many shelves adorning
the walls, Salix floated about, making sure I could find what I wanted
and then tending to the other customers. The shop—Sacred Threads And Other
Things Crafted With Love (a long, difficult title, but none could be more
accurate)—sells all sorts of things, the majority handmade by Salix herself.
The rest are more exotic items, sporting names like ‘Orb of Ramjerin’ or
‘Unicorn’s Horn’ (finely grated into a dust and sifted through a sacred
filter, no less). Among the tamer items in Sacred Threads (etc.) are hand-dipped
candles, made in various colors and scents, in many different styles. Many
of these candles, if bought in bulk (i.e., more than seven), come with
instructions on how to craft them at home. There is homemade soap, perfume,
clothing, and jewelry. To all ‘hippies’—if you are in need of any hemp
at all, in the form of jewelry or as yet unwoven, Sacred Threads is where
to get it! The hemp is dyed, of course, in many different colors ranging
all over the spectrum. Salix also sells, at a lovely low price, hot tea
and cocoa for those crispy days. There are soft chairs along one of the
walls, so you can curl up with a cup of tea. Watch out, Starbucks™! And
last but not least, on homemade and recycled paper, there are a great many
of what Salix labels as ‘spellbooks’—for health, good luck, and the ‘Darker
Arts’, the latter of which Salix keeps in the back of the store and only
takes out if you meet her standards. I predict a long and quiet future
for Salix and her shop.
Wednesday,
April 18th, 2007; Sunnydale, California
Willow
wakes up in the morning with a surprise: she is not in pain. For some reason,
Oz has not been hurting her as much lately. It is hard to tell what he
is thinking; most of the time, Oz is his usual emotionless self, except
when he is angry, and that is when he hurts her, yells at her, calls her
terrible things. If she did not know better, though, Willow might speculate
that Oz was being cautious around her. But that is silly. Oz has never
cared what she thought.
Today
Willow walks about with a thrumming air of excitement. Today is the day
she has her chance to win back Oz’s heart, to be more than a ragged accessory.
Today Willow thrillingly pulls on her new black bathing-suit, wraps a dark
green batiked sarong (that she has borrowed from Buffy) around her waist,
and goes to the pool to meet Oz.
Willow
has let her hair hang loose today, without headband or hairtie. It falls
down onto her shoulders in thick waves of fiery, bloody red, and for the
first time in a long time, Willow feels beautiful. The women give her angry
up-and-down looks, and shift uncomfortably on their towel-draped beach
chairs; the men stop and shoot furtive, appraising glances her way.
Oz
comes, and Willow gives him a lovely, full-faced smile. For once he smiles
back sincerely, and her heart leaps in her chest because she is so glad
to have made Oz happy. For at least three hours they swim and lie in the
sun together, and Willow savors the tenderness with which Oz spreads sunscreen
on her exposed back.
Around
four o’clock in the afternoon, Willow leaves Oz dozing on his towel and
goes for a quick swim, staying close to the side of the pool where her
lover relaxes so that he can see where she is. Oz likes to know where she
is at all times.
At
four-fifteen, Willow climbs out of the pool, receiving admiring stares
for her long, water-slicked legs, but she does not notice them because
Oz is no longer by their towels. She thinks perhaps he is at the bathrooms,
but he is not, so she goes to the bar next, just in time to see Oz walk
off with a bronze-skinned, black-haired beauty with longer legs and a tinier
swimsuit that Willow could ever hope to possess. Oz turns, catches her
eye and lets her see the way his arm snakes around the other woman’s waist;
the woman pauses, asks him something, turns herself, sees Willow, and smirks.
They come back, joined at the hip like only Willow and Oz should be, and
they wait.
Finally
Oz says, “Willow, this is Aleashah.”
Aleashah
smiles. It is a perfect, even-toothed, full-lipped smile. Willow can see
why Oz likes her. “Nice to meet you,” Aleashah says, extending a long-fingered,
manicured hand.
Willow
does not know what is going on inside her, because she has not felt this
emotion in so long. But she does not think she can stand that Oz is introducing
her to the woman he’s about to at least temporarily cheat on her with.
Oz has cheated before, Willow knows, but never this starkly, never this
cruelly. And suddenly Willow has a thought—why should I put up with
this? It
is a question Willow is unable to answer, and it fills her further with
this foreign emotion—anger.
Willow
does not shake Aleashah’s hand and say, “You too.”
No.
Willow
smacks the offending hand away and says, “I wish I could say the same.”
Aleashah
looks amused; Oz looks angry. “Willow…” he begins warningly.
“Be
quiet, Oz,” Willow tells him, and in his surprise, he is. “The person to
whom you seem to have glued yourself is my boyfriend,” she informs Aleashah
coldly.
“He
doesn’t seem to have any markings on him that say so,” Aleashah tells her.
“That’s
true,” Willow acknowledges. “Fine.”
Aleashah
looks surprised but pleased that Willow has given up this easily; Oz looks
wary.
“However,”
Willow says, “There are a few things you should know.”
“What
are those?” Aleashah asks patiently.
“I’ve
been going out with him for something like nine years now,” Willow says,
“Although we missed a year in between because the girl he was cheating
on me with tried to kill me…”
“Willow,
no,”
Oz says, as if she is some kind of dog.
“…so
he killed her
instead,” Willow continues. “You might know the band she was in. They used
to be very popular in good ol’ Sunnydale—Shy?”
Aleashah
nods stiffly and removes her arm from around Oz’s waist; she does remember.
“Veruca,”
Willow continues, “was the lead singer.
“So
Oz here,” she says, indicating him with a sweep of her hand, “Took a year
off for some soul-searching, then came back and we picked up like nothing
had happened. He cheated on me consistently, but never so rudely as right
now.”
Aleashah
not-so-subtly steps away from Oz.
“So,
have him if you want,” Willow pronounces finally, “But, along with all
that history, he’s less than a Viking in the sack.”
Oz
blanches.
“And,”
Willow adds at last, “He likes giving pain.”
With
one last look at the two of them, Oz standing stiffly, Aleashah giving
him a disgusted glance and walking huffily away, Willow turns and goes
home.
May
2nd, 2008; Los Angeles, California
Willow
will indulge herself; she figures that as long as she does not become a
corrupt corporate whore she deserves all that she can exult in.
Therefore,
after clearing the appropriate spaces for what she wants, she dials a phone
number only known to an elite few.
It
rings seven times and then an impatient voice answers. “Who is this?”
“Hey,
Bill, it’s Willow,” she says, forgetting to speak slowly, the words falling
as quickly as firing bullets out of her mouth. “It’s Willow Rosenberg.”
There’s
a pause, as if the listener is trying to repeat her words slowly to himself.
Then, “Willow Rosenberg?
Ms. Rosenberg has been reported missing for a year now.”
“I
know, Bill. I’m back. I had to do some… soul-searching.”
“Who
are you and how did you get hold of this number?”
“Oh,
shut up, Bill. It’s me! I helped you design Windows 4050 last year, and
told you that it was alright if you didn’t give me credit as long as I
got an extra 200 thousand?”
There’s
another pause, and then Bill Gates says, “Where the Hell were
you, Willow? We were trying to write a Windows 5000 but we couldn’t get
the glitches out without you!”
“What?”
Willow blinks, sure she’s heard wrong. “But you said you wouldn’t be involved
at all
in the making of Windows 5000—that you were sick of computers and that
you wanted to relax in the Bahamas with some beautiful women. I seem to
remember,” Willow adds slyly, “That you invited me along…?”
“What
did I say?” Bill Gates asks slowly.
“…And
that you’d leave all the work to the small-timers who were trying to acquire
fortunes as big as yours!” Willow exclaims.
The
pause this time is long and torturous, and then Bill Gates laughs as though
he cannot believe it. “God, Willow, it is
you!” he almost shouts. “Where have you been?
We had a coffee date April of 2007!”
Willow
cannot remember this coffee date, but she does not doubt it. “Look, Bill,
I’d love to chat, but I’m in a bit of a crunch right now and I need my
500 thousand.”
She
is sure Bill Gates doesn’t even blink an eye. “Sure! I’ll send a check,
shall I? To your place in Sunnydale?”
“NO!
No. No, not Sunnydale,” Willow says quickly, panicking. “I live in Los
Angeles now.”
Bill
Gates does not show his alarm, if there is any, at her outburst. “LA? How
nice. Well then, d’you want me just to see if I can transfer the money
to your account?”
Her
old bank account in HSBC. “Yes, that would be great, Bill. Thanks.”
She
can almost hear his smile. “Sure, Willow. And can we renew that coffee
date sometime?” He sounds wistful. It is nice to know someone missed her
while she was with Greg.
“Of
course, Bill.”
Wednesday,
April 18th, 2007; Sunnydale, California
The
moment Willow steps inside the house that she and Oz share she is overwhelmed
with a deep sense of sorrow: sorrow that she has deprived Oz of what obviously
fulfills his needs, sorrow that she has disappointed him. It is too late
for her to remember why her anger was so well-founded; her loyalty to Oz
has suddenly, inexplicably, sprung up anew, and she collapses to the floor
in the hallway just inside the door.
After
a while she picks herself up and goes upstairs. Perhaps her familiars can
comfort her.
She
has three familiars, one of whom she’s just recently acquired. She has
never heard of a witch or warlock with three familiars, but she figures,
as Oz has told her before, that it’s just another malfunction of hers.
They are: Fiddle, a ferret, who is a phenomenon in himself because he is
raven-black, except for his blazing gold eyes—he wandered into her room
by way of the balcony about four years before; Timpani, a large Rex rabbit
with velvet-soft purple-grey fur and soft black eyes who found Willow by
loitering around the backyard; and the last and newest familiar, Oboe,
a creamy-white and grey female ferret who spoke to Willow while she was
putting in volunteer hours at the ASPCA a little more than a month before.
Much
to Oz’s disgust, the familiars have the guest room to themselves. Willow
has built a paradise for them in there, with litter boxes discreetly placed
against the far wall, potted plants everywhere, and little hammocks and
mattresses scattered hither and thither. Fiddle and Oboe and Timpani love
their room, they have told Willow so themselves. She loves to make them
happy simply because it is so easy to please them. They do not expect much
of her but thrill over almost whatever she gives them, and they love her
unconditionally in return.
Willow
would never dream of betraying that love.
Willow
knocks gently on the door to their room, just out of politeness, and then
enters, sits among the cluster of bonsai trees and fountains at the center
of the room. Eventually each of them flows over, and they tell her something.
There
is something wrong,
Oboe begins silently.
Willow
furrows her eyebrows in worry. “What is it?”
Sshh,
Timpani cautions. The wolf will be back soon.
Oz?
Willow thinks, surprised. What does he have to do with anything?
Fiddle
and me can’t tell,
Timpani confesses, but Oboe says there’s something…
Fiddle
and I,
Willow corrects absentmindedly.
Come
with me, Oboe
says. I will show you.
Willow
obediently gets up and follows her familiar into her own bedroom. What
is it? Willow
asks. I can’t see—
Not
see, Oboe
explains. Feel.
With your magic. There’s something there.
Willow
sighs, but extends her powers, carefully, searchingly. Her familiars will
know if she has not really tried. She reaches farther—farther—
And
then bumps into something with a resounding BANG.
Willow
closes her eyes, allows the ‘images’ of what she’s just found assault the
insides of her eyelids. What she finds is a rippling gold bubble that stretches
over the whole house, and it smells of wolf.
Whatis
it? Willow
asks Oboe.
I
could only sense it because I’m new and the wolf didn’t remember to include
me, Oboe explains.
This
is about six years old, and I think it’s renewed around tomorrow every
year. It’s going weak.
Oh,
Willow says faintly. But what does it do?
It…
No, Oboe says.
It
won’t make any sense to you until it’s gone.
But
Oz made it,
Willow observes. Won’t he be upset if I knock it down?
K
N O C K I TD
O W N !Willow’s
familiars command together, and their force together, and their absolute
certainty, is what makes Willow do it.
The
bubble, like Oboe had said, is not very strong, and Willow pokes at it
until it wobbles like a jelly, and then she slices it. Each slice shimmers
and disappears, and then there is no bubble.
Well,
Willow comments, that was anticlimactic—
Something
inside her bedroom, stretches, squeaks, and suddenly explodes outward,
throwing Willow and all three of her familiars hard against the wall, and
then it is all dark.
***
Willow
wakes slowly, groggily, hours later, and hates Oz.
How
dare
he control her that way? This is about six years old,
Oboe had said. Since 2001, then. Since Oz came back, he has been contorting
her feelings, making her love him, worship him, forgive him… and hurting
her…
Willow
leaps to her feet, suddenly energized, runs her hand over her hips, thighs,
breasts, knows the thin, painful scars that he has made sure nobody will
ever see.
“How
long did you plan to keep me like this, Oz?” Willow growls to the empty
air, and is suddenly afraid.
The
explosion—it was a deliberate backlash from the spell, meant to kill,
or at least greatly injure, whoever broke it without Oz’s say-so. Apparently,
Oz does not mind if he kills her.
“I’ve
got to get out of here,” Willow mutters. There is no time to pack—Oz will
be home any second. Her familiars crowd around her as Willow shoves her
laptop and cellphone into her backpack, then searches wildly for her wallet.
It
is quickly found and the backpack is zipped, and then, with animals trailing
earnestly behind, Willow trips clumsily down the stairs.
There
are two rooms between the stairs and the front door—the living room and
the dining room.
Oz
is sitting patiently, quietly, in the living room. He is leaned back in
the La-Z Boy, feet propped up, arms folded behind his head. “Going somewhere,
Willow-my-Willow?” he asks smoothly. His eyes are cold.
When
Willow does not answer, he stands slowly, deliberately, and advances. His
eyes are black and his hands are clawed and dangerous as he stalks towards
her. One by one, Willow’s precious familiars pounce on him and each get
swiped away, leaving a slowly descending trail of blood in the air.
Willow
drops her backpack and steps backward as Oz comes nearer. “Oz, no,” she
moans, but then he has her arm in an iron grip.
He
drags her up the stairs as Willow tries desperately to think of a spell
that will save her, but she cannot kill Oz, because who will side with
her when his body is found…? All of the spells she knows kill immediately.
Then
they are in Oz’s room. There is no bed in there, as he very rarely condescends
to sleep with Willow and is usually out with some more adequate girlfriend.
No, there is no bed in Oz’s room. There is a table, low to the ground,
rather like an operation table; there is a stool, conveniently level with
the table; there is a dresser. In the three bottom drawers of the dresser,
there are clothes.
In
the top drawer there is pain.
Oz
throws Willow to the table, and fumbles for the top drawer.He
takes out four pairs of handcuffs, locks Willow’s hands and feet to the
table. “You don’t even know what pain is,” Oz threatens her, and turns
back to the drawer.
Willow
does know what pain is. Her proof scars her thighs, legs, breasts; but
she knows that she will soon be hurt far worse than she ever has been,
because she has just defied Oz more than she ever has before.
There
is a clinking of metal, a rusting of leather while Oz rummages around in
the top drawer, and then he turns back to her, his hands empty. His face
is twisted into a sadistic grin as he rips Willow’s sarong and bathing-suit
off, leaving her frightened and naked on the table.
For
some perverse reason, all Willow can think of are songs, not spells:
Ten
minutes later, Willow’s stomach is blessedly numb and she stops biting
her now-bleeding bottom lip. Oz notices, frowns at her.
“Not
enough distraction for you?”
Old
love, new love, every love but true love…
Oz
puts down the bloody coat hanger, unzips his pants. Willow’s eyes widen.
“Oz,
no!” It is inevitable that he rape her, Willow supposes; it is a final
humiliation, a smack in the face that she is beneath him and completely
at his mercy. He has raped her before, but this time it is obvious he does
not plan to use a condom as he always has.
Oz
cocks his head at her and then realizes what she’s afraid of. “You don’t
want to have my babies, Willow?” he asks, faking insult.
She
glares at him.
“Well,
I don’t have any condoms handy…” Oz nonchalantly cats his eyes around the
room, mocking her, exaggerating his worry over the search for protection.
He does not care.
Willow’s
eyes begin scanning the area around her, looking for anything, anything,
that could function as a condom. Her eyes light upon the coat hanger lying
by her hip and a terrible thought occurs to her; she quickly looks at the
other side of the room.
Her
quick movement, however, catches Oz’s eye, and the same thought enters
his mind. He picks up the coat hanger again, spins it between his thumb
and index finger. “Always knew you were a smart girl,” he says, and spreads
her legs with his knee, forcing the coat hanger between them.
Screams
are never answered in Sunnydale.
***
Around
four o’clock in the morning, Willow opens blood-encrusted eyes to see…
nothing. At first she is terrified that once she passed out, Oz blinded
her, but then she realizes it is past midnight, because she can just make
out the abandoned hump of Oz’s stool by her head, and the dark shape of
the dresser.
Willow
lies perfectly still, listening as well as she can for any sound at all
that will tell her where Oz is. The house is silent, except for a little
scratching on the stairs, like a mouse or… Fiddle and Timpani and Oboe!
It must be one of them! Elated, Willow moves, twists her torso to sit up
and get off the table, and screams in pain. Her stomach is stiff with dried
blood and ragged cuts, her legs covered with deep slashes. She suddenly
realizes it hurts to breathe because of the bruises on her ribs and the
scratches on her breasts, and she breaks down in tears because her wrists
are bleeding and raw; she is still secured in handcuffs.
There
is a slight movement by the door, and then: Willow?
Yes,
yes, yes!
Willow sobs. Oboe, Fiddle, Timpani, I’m here—are you okay?
Then
Oboe is on the table by her shoulder, and her eyes are bright with anger
as she says, What did that wolf do to you? All I can smell is blood,
but it’s too dark for me to see properly.
It
hurts too much to move,
Willow whispers, and my hands are cuffed.
There
is a humming noise, and then the light in the ceiling flickers on. There
is a collective gasp from each of her familiars, and then Timpani screams,
I’ll
kill him! I will!
Be
quiet, Timpani,
Fiddle cautions.
Quiet,
nothing, Timpani
retorts loudly. Just look what he’s done to her.
Willow
wants to cover herself up, even if the only people seeing her are her familiars.
The blood at the crux of her legs is still flowing from deep inside her,
and her womb burns.
Can
you get me out of these handcuffs somehow?
she asks her familiars. We need to leave.
Oboe
walks around the table, her body stiff with fury, and begins to work on
picking the lock on one of the handcuffs. Fiddle jumps up to take another
one, and Timpani sits by, helpless.
I’m
sorry, Willow,
he says, but I don’t have little paws like they have—
It’s
okay, Timpani,
Willow assures him, and then clenches her teeth as one of the handcuffs
excruciatingly comes loose.
Finally,
each handcuff is off and Willow and her familiars somehow get her into
some clothing and outside to her car.
***
Willow
gets out of the car, because she knows she is not driving well. She has
stopped the car a little off the road, in the grass on one side of the
highway. She opens the door and falls out; it is only the door that was
keeping her upright. She cries into the grass, feels the terrified trembling
bodies of Fiddle and Oboe and Timpani pressing into the small of her back
and her stomach. They are frightened, she is frightening them. Willow tries
to stand, falls back in the grass. She cannot stop crying because she hurts
so badly, Oz has never hurt her this much before. She can barely believe
she made it down the stairs to the front door and to the car. She wonders
if she has left a trail of blood…?
Oboe
moves up her arm gingerly, nestles between her shoulder and chin, licks
her face tenderly. “Oh, Goddess,” Willow moans, as there is nobody else
to hear her, “If you were ever to help me, please help me now…”
The Goddess does not answer, but Greg does.