Title: It Doesn’t Matter
Author: Kimberley (evil_vamp_willow_uk@yahoo.co.uk )
Couple: Willow and Spike,
Rating: pg13, nothing naughty
Disclaimer: I own nuthin, Jossy owns all things buff, and Alison Krauss and Union Station own the song “It Doesn’t Matter”
Distribution: If you want it, then take it, I’m willing to share:)
Summary: Willow meets Spike again, it’s sad, and I suck at summarys sorry!
Dedication: To my dog Homer cos he’s sooo cute, and he made me feel better after a poopy day
 

Willow ran into her apartment, slamming the door
closed she ran up the stairs to her bedroom, running
shaking fingers through tangled hair she looked at the
dark room, the crimson of the walls giving the room a
dark and sombre look. Pulling her jacket off she flung
it to the floor as she fought the images going through
her head, of light hair, sparkling eyes, him.

~ It doesn’t matter what I want
It doesn’t matter what I need ~

Her mind grasped at the images like a lifeline, each
one telling a story that she only knew, well she and
him. After all this time, he had came back for what?
She didn’t know. Her eyes blurred as they filled with
unshed tears, her knees buckled beneath her. On the
floor, she looked around the dark room, it had stayed
the same since he had left. The sombre crimsons and
dark wood calmed her enough to realise someone was
knocking at the door.

~ It doesn’t matter if I cry
Don’t matter if I plead ~

Standing on shaky legs Willow walked slowly down the
stairs well aware the visitor wouldn’t leave before
she got there. Opening the door her heart tightened as
old images joined new, none of them changing. Looking
into his eyes she slowly inched forward. Noticing her
delicate steps, he moved forward ready to stop at the
invisible barrier only to feel no resistance. Wrapping
her into his arms he inhaled deeply, the smell of her
bringing back memory’s he had tried to forget, to burn
from his memory. After all this time, everywhere he
had been, the mere smell of her brought the past
rushing back sending butterflies into his vacant
stomach

~ You’ve been on a road
Don’t know where it goes or where it leads ~

“Willow…I’m sorry” She looked up slowly taking in the
same old clothes she had missed so much, the red
shirt, the black jeans. Finally reaching his eyes, her
lips quivered as she tried to find the words to say
how much she had missed him, how much she needed him
“It doesn’t matter”.

~ It doesn’t matter what I want
It doesn’t matter what I need ~

*Then*
“Willow…” running upstairs he stepped inside their
bedroom before the door had time to slam shut. He
watched as she stopped, standing still in the middle
of the floor, her back towards him. “Willow…please, I
don’t want to leave you” he watched as she slowly
turned to face him, eyes tearful as she took in the
probably last look of him she would have. He walked
closer, brushing a piece of hair out of her face his
finger moved down to smooth over her quivering lips,
cupping her face he brought his lips to hers, feeling
her arms go around him, he damned himself wishing she
would at least say something, make him stay. His heart
hurt when she said nothing.

~ If you’ve made up your mind to go
I won’t beg you to stay ~

Pulling away she ran her fingers through his hair
finding the scar at the back of his head where the
initiative had implanted him with the chip, it had
never healed right and he would forever be with a scar
much like the one on his eye brow. Pulling her hands
away she wrapped them around her shaking body, at
first he didn’t make a move to leave, just looking at
her, before turning and walking through the bedroom
door.

~ You’ve been in a cage
Throw you to the wind you fly away ~

*Now*
Looking up through tears, she fought the urge to yell,
scream, do anything. Looking at his face, she didn’t
know if she was fighting the tears because he had
left, or if it was because he had come back. After
everything that had happened, she had dreamed of his
return, asleep in their bed, she would be sitting
under a tree looking up at the silent moon, before
turning to find him there holding out a hand for her
to join him. In her dreams she would be so close to
touching his cold hand then she would wake to find
herself alone, again.

~ It doesn’t matter what I want
It doesn’t matter what I need ~

“Do you forgive me?” his voice shook slightly as he
waited for the answer he had been waiting for, for so
long. She closed her eyes, his voice travelling over
her, washing her of her loneliness. Feeling his cool
fingers on her face, she opened moist emerald eyes to
find herself looking into frosty blue ones, with a
shaky hand she ran her fingers through his hair,
finding the new scar, she licked her dry lips slowly
before answering her voice hoarse “with all my heart”.
His mouth gently met hers, letting his tongue run
softly over hers, his hands running through her hair.
Neither stopped kissing each too lost in each other to
realise anything else. Her fingers ran over the new
scar, memorising every detail like she had the one
before that. Pulling away when air was needed, he kept
his face close to hers, the whisper that left his
mouth seemed loud in the still room. “Come with me”

~ It doesn’t matter if I cry
Don’t matter if I plead ~

She looked into those eyes that were so close to hers,
her vision filled with blue sapphires. Her fingers
fell from his hair, softly she stepped away from his
embrace, walking up the stairs she had walked down
only minutes before. Reaching their room she let her
tears fall, droplets of water ran steadily down her
face, stopping at her chin only to fall to the floor
creating tiny puddles. He walked slowly into the room,
remembering all to well the last time he had been
there. Her voice startled him as his gaze travelled
the contents of the dark room “I cant”. Heart
breaking, he rushed forward making the small women
look at him, looking at tear filled eyes mirroring his
own, he pulled her into another kiss, this one not as
soft as before, but one of emotion, love, passion
everything he had been denying himself for so long.
Hands ran over dampened cheeks to run through silky
red hair that had grown so long since he had last seen
it, pulling back he tried again. “Please…Willow we can
be together, like we should be”. Like they should be,
she wants it to be, no Sunnydale, demons, slayers.
Leave everything behind, leave everything like he had
done her so many years ago.  “Willow…I love you, there
are too many memories here for us” Looking back at him
she spoke “Yes, but their our memories…everything
we’ve done, we’ve seen, its all here”. ”And it always
will be, in our memories…please Willow come with me, I
cant stay here” softly wiping the tears from her face,
he pleaded with her to listen to him “please…we could
make new memory’s”. Fingers wet with tears he brought
his lips to meet hers briefly before pulling back “New
memories?”. Nodding his head he looked at the face he
missed more then his own reflection, seeing the nod of
her small head, he let his lips claim hers again, her
voice echoing in his mind “New memories”

Feel the stream of tears
Falling on this face you left for years

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