**********
Willow closed the suitcase and took a quick look around the bedroom. There were so many things she wanted to take. So many things that she wanted to leave behind her. She shook her head sadly and lifted her luggage off of the bed and carried it silently to the trunk of her car. After packing everything securely in the trunk, she looked up into the night's sky. The stars twinkled brightly, just another reminder of happiness she could barely remember.
She walked back into the house and took one last look around.
"You're really leaving?" Spike asked incredulously.
Willow turned her green eyes to him. "I told you I would." She replied sadly.
Spike sighed needlessly. "At least eat something before you go." He told her as he tossed a blood back at her.
She caught it and tossed it back. "Not hungry. You eat it. Or better yet, don't. Go find some unsuspecting child and have them for supper instead."
"Dammit, Willow!" Spike snarled. "It wasn't like that. I didn't touch that girl." He pushed her up against the wall, demanding that she understand.
Willow pushed him off of her, "You don't get it, Spike. It isn't about that girl. It isn't about what you did. It's about what you didn't."
She turned and left the house, a single blood red tear falling down her cheek.
****
When Willow arrived in Los Angeles, it was still early. She could feel the hum of the city. It was different than the feel of the Hellmouth, but powerful nonetheless.
She thought about stopping at one of the clubs first, but decided that that was more trouble than it was worth. Angel would be waiting for her. He would worry if she didn't show up on time. Although, she didn't know why. It wasn't like he wouldn't know if something were seriously wrong.
She pulled into the parking garage and parked her car. Leaving her luggage behind, she took the stairs to the roof. She stepped out and looked over the city. The view was amazing from here. She never got tired of it when they visited. But this wasn't a visit, was it? This was something else entirely.
She remembered the first time they had visited. It was shortly after Angel had bought this place following the explosion, which had destroyed his old office. This one was much nicer, according to Cordelia. Willow had never been to that one, so she wasn't sure.
But this building was larger. Angel said it was necessary to accommodate all of Delia's possessions. It housed their office, a large apartment below the office, and a small studio above.
She liked the studio; it had the easiest access to the roof. She felt connected the roof. She felt at peace there for some reason. Maybe it was because of all the countless hours she had spent thinking here. Or maybe it was because of all of the spells she had performed here, in the still of the night. But most likely it was because this was where she had died.
*****
"She's here." Angel spoke quietly from the dining room table.
Cordelia looked up. "She's up there again, isn't she?"
Angel nodded. "She likes to think."
"She thinks too much." Cordelia looked oddly at her lover. "Maybe it's in your blood. You know the brooding thing?" She asked.
"Then how do you explain Spike? Drusilla? Penn? Shall I go on?"
Cordelia held up her hands. "No, please don't. I've met enough of your childer that want to kill me to last my next two lifetimes."
Angel chuckled. "You asked." He reminded her as he stood up and headed towards the staircase, which led to the roof.
Angel placed a kiss on Cordelia's head as he passed her. She smiled sadly. She didn't even Angel the task ahead. Willow had done something she never thought she'd see. S he had left Spike. Really left him. That in and of itself spoke volumes about how Willow felt about what Spike had done.
Cordelia turned towards the kitchen as the phone started to ring.
"Hello, Spike." She answered the phone.
"Is she there?" He asked, not bothering to ask how she knew it was him on the phone.
"Yes."
"She's on the roof again, isn't she?" He asked.
"What happened?" Cordelia inquired, ignoring his question.
"I fucked up." Spike leaned his head against the phone. "She's not coming back is she?"
Cordelia didn't know what to tell him. S he could hear the anguish in his voice and wanted nothing more than to tell him everything was going to be fine. She had become quite close with both he and Willow in the past few years, and she hated to see either one of them in pain. They were made for each other, soul mates, except only one of them had a soul.
"I don't know." S he told him honestly. "Spike? We'll take care of her." She whispered into the line, trying to give him a small comfort.
"I know. Thanks. Tell Peaches… I'll call him… later." He choked out.
Cordelia closed her eyes as she heard the line go dead.
****
Angel stepped out onto the roof. "It's cold out here."
Willow turned to look at her sire, raising an eyebrow. He shrugged slightly, realizing the ridiculousness of his statement.
"You want to talk about it?" He asked quietly as he leaned against the railing.
Willow sighed needlessly. "No." She paused. "I think I just need to be, you know?" She turned to Angel, silently begging him to understand.
Angel nodded. "You should come inside."
Willow took a deep unnecessary breath as she stepped away from the wall and followed Angel into the building.
*****
Spike snarled dangerously as he smashed the glass against the wall. He looked around the room angrily. It was a shambles. Nothing had been left untouched, unbroken. Every piece of furniture was torn apart, splintered. Every piece of clothing ripped and shredded until it was no longer recognizable.
In some part of his mind, he knew that tearing apart the home they had shared for three years would not bring Willow back. In fact if she returned to find his mess, she would most certainly be irritated. However, Spike also knew that she wasn't coming back. She had left him, and while he had an eternity in which to win her back, there were some things he needed to do first. Things they both needed to do.
He left the apartment, slamming the door behind him and climbed into his car. As he drove down the highway, not knowing exactly where he was headed, but knowing that it wouldn't be where he wanted to be, he realized just how much he had lost, how very disconnected he felt.
He let his mind clear of all thoughts as he sped down the highway. He didn't know where he was going, or where he'd end up, or even if he'd survive, but he did know that their poof of a sire would take care of Willow, and that was all that mattered.
****